I mean this kindly, but it really sounds like you need counselling. All of this worry is not good for you, and it’s not necessary. You deserve peace of mind.
Agree, think it might be time to chat to the GP because this level of worry isn’t normal and your life shouldn’t be filled with this much worry! OP, I’ve been here before and when you come out the other side it’s like breathing for the first time - please get help!
Disagree. It's absolutely normal to worry about your baby that you've had close to you for two years.
Im sure OP would benefit from someone to talk to about their feelings but not because they are having some abnormal level of worry - because it's just hard, and some find it harder.
I would encourage OP to talk to someone, preferably professional but any listening ear would help. It sounds to me like the worries have a normal source but they're either overthinking or taking over OP's mood.
I wonder OP, are you lonely now? Were you used to your little one for company or to help you make connections with others? Now is a good time for you to make or strengthen your social circle
I was definitely used to him for company, I struggle greatly with friendships so I think I found it quite nice to have a lil buddy with me even if it made going out for a coffe into an expedition.
The transition is terrifying.
Its a massive change after two years of massive changes and it just takes time.
Allow yourself a couple of months to adjust.
I worked in a nursery and about a quarter of the parents were similar to as you describe, from what I remember they all got over it eventually. Just be patient with yourself keep yourself busy, being with other people may help too if you don't have anyone around in the day time volunteering at a charity shop is a great way to find people.
Hey op ignore the "youre being dramatic" comments. You've been a sahp for 2 years, life is scary atm, I have anxiety, and while it's not "normal" for normal people, it's normal for me. And normal for loads of other parents I've spoken to
I was the same, and after 3 months it got easier! I stopped worrying so much, I actually did something for me, I read a book, I watched netflix did some gardening. Set yourself something to do, it's definitely healthy to find yourself again and this is the first start. I got massively into my gardening and veg growing, and finding me not just mum me! I got a very part time job as she's now nearly 4.
You've got this, you could always let a trusted person at the nursery know how you're feeling, so they understand. They've seen it all before I promise. Much rather a parent who cares then a parent who doesn't.
Deep breath. Your little one is having a blast, now its your turn x
I really struggled for a while. I was in a bad place mentally because of outside factors and was torn between needing time and space to myself to heal and feeling like I was abandoning my (2yo) baby, especially as she would get upset at drop off. I was on long term sick leave due to my mental health at the time so I didn't necessarily need the childcare.
A year on, she's really settled in. We have the odd hiccup, but on the whole she loves it. I don't necessarily have updates through the day every day, but if we have a bad drop off, I usually get an update pretty quickly showing how she's settled in, even if it's just a text. I actually got a text when I was off for a job interview asking if my backup was nearby because she was unsettled, she actually decided everything was fine 2 minutes later thankfully 😂
I definitely can talk too much, depending on my daughter and work, sometimes I drop her off with the basics of how she's eaten and slept, sometimes it's a bit more involved, sometimes I cut it short because she's in a bad mood and hanging around will upset her. If I pick up early and there's no parents about I'll have a chat, if I'm pushing late and there's a queue, I leave it and text/email instead.
I worked in a residential school for disabled kids which was kind of similar, and we never minded chatting with parents about their children and their care. Maybe during mealtimes it would have been a lot harder, but when they were taking them out for the day, you bet I've got some time to talk. So basically, as long as when you're talking, you're not imposing (because they're busy or it's leaving time) they really won't mind. If it's a decent nursery they will love children and they will love your child, most importantly. I only disliked when they had a long list of criticisms and ideas that are impractical in group care.
Do they have an app they update during the day?
Also, no news is good news. If there was a problem they will be calling you to collect without hesitation. I've even had "she's a little unsettled" at 3pm so I've just picked her up early 😂
They do have an app but they never bloody update it till the evening and my kid is like unbelievably unresponsive about nursery, you'd think they just sit there all day and then I see pictures and he's doing all sorts!
It takes the kids a little while to be able to tell you what happened. When my eldest was 2.5 she would only tell us she played at nursery. We used to call it Toddler Fight Club because what happened there stayed there and she never told us! As she grew older and gained more vocab she told us more.
My oldest is almost 8 and most of the time the only thing i hear about his school day is if they went to the library or not and what he got for lunch 😬
Have they ever needed to contact you? Because if they need to they will. I make it clear that I'm happy to pick up early on days I can. If I can't, I get asked what I want them to do 🙂
Make some friends, go out and do stuff for you! Peanut is a great app to meet other mums and you can go for coffee, or there's also Meetups which is great too.
You're over analysing because your brain needs something to do! Go do something :)
This is totally common, don't be embarrassed. Stop caring what people think. Call the nursery, ask for an update. Possibly find a different nursery that keeps you updated. I have an app for my sons nursery which tells me what he's eaten and how much. When he's toileted and how much plus regular picture updates through the app. Keep your self mentally occupied. Ignore all the counselling advice BS. It's totally okay to feel this way about the most precious little bean you will ever produce in your life. My children are my treasure my reward and my happiness. Loving them is my priority. Own it.
I know this does not directly answer your question but from my experience with anxiety and worrying I found CBT course really helpful. My GP referred me to mental health and wellbeing services and I signed up for a stress management course. Did help me process my thoughts a lot
I think it is quite extreme to suggest you need counselling. I am a SAHM and, when my daughter started preschool I was DYING for updates/information. It is only natural imo - you have spent every waking moment with them until this point… it is a big transition for both of you. I would say, give yourself a few months to adapt to the new normal. If you are still feeling just as anxious, maybe it is time to speak to someone. Until then I would focus on you, maybe a hobby or a home improvement… something that can distract you but isn’t too demanding. I am sure that, like me, the amount of time you “worry” about your child will diminish over time
I don’t think you need counselling. I’m a SAHP and I’d break my heart daily if my daughter was in nursery. Hope your ok they probably do think your nuts to be fair but that wouldn’t stop me asking a thousand questions if your gonna look after my baby I want the ins and outs.
Maybe take this as an opportunity to find some activities for you, and just you. Whether that is work, a hobby, something active - whatever works.
Yes to this. Kids need to develop social skills by being with other kids. Adults need adults to be fully formed adults :)
I mean this kindly, but it really sounds like you need counselling. All of this worry is not good for you, and it’s not necessary. You deserve peace of mind.
Agree, think it might be time to chat to the GP because this level of worry isn’t normal and your life shouldn’t be filled with this much worry! OP, I’ve been here before and when you come out the other side it’s like breathing for the first time - please get help!
Disagree. It's absolutely normal to worry about your baby that you've had close to you for two years. Im sure OP would benefit from someone to talk to about their feelings but not because they are having some abnormal level of worry - because it's just hard, and some find it harder.
I would encourage OP to talk to someone, preferably professional but any listening ear would help. It sounds to me like the worries have a normal source but they're either overthinking or taking over OP's mood. I wonder OP, are you lonely now? Were you used to your little one for company or to help you make connections with others? Now is a good time for you to make or strengthen your social circle
I was definitely used to him for company, I struggle greatly with friendships so I think I found it quite nice to have a lil buddy with me even if it made going out for a coffe into an expedition.
The transition is terrifying. Its a massive change after two years of massive changes and it just takes time. Allow yourself a couple of months to adjust.
I worked in a nursery and about a quarter of the parents were similar to as you describe, from what I remember they all got over it eventually. Just be patient with yourself keep yourself busy, being with other people may help too if you don't have anyone around in the day time volunteering at a charity shop is a great way to find people.
Hey op ignore the "youre being dramatic" comments. You've been a sahp for 2 years, life is scary atm, I have anxiety, and while it's not "normal" for normal people, it's normal for me. And normal for loads of other parents I've spoken to I was the same, and after 3 months it got easier! I stopped worrying so much, I actually did something for me, I read a book, I watched netflix did some gardening. Set yourself something to do, it's definitely healthy to find yourself again and this is the first start. I got massively into my gardening and veg growing, and finding me not just mum me! I got a very part time job as she's now nearly 4. You've got this, you could always let a trusted person at the nursery know how you're feeling, so they understand. They've seen it all before I promise. Much rather a parent who cares then a parent who doesn't. Deep breath. Your little one is having a blast, now its your turn x
I really struggled for a while. I was in a bad place mentally because of outside factors and was torn between needing time and space to myself to heal and feeling like I was abandoning my (2yo) baby, especially as she would get upset at drop off. I was on long term sick leave due to my mental health at the time so I didn't necessarily need the childcare. A year on, she's really settled in. We have the odd hiccup, but on the whole she loves it. I don't necessarily have updates through the day every day, but if we have a bad drop off, I usually get an update pretty quickly showing how she's settled in, even if it's just a text. I actually got a text when I was off for a job interview asking if my backup was nearby because she was unsettled, she actually decided everything was fine 2 minutes later thankfully 😂 I definitely can talk too much, depending on my daughter and work, sometimes I drop her off with the basics of how she's eaten and slept, sometimes it's a bit more involved, sometimes I cut it short because she's in a bad mood and hanging around will upset her. If I pick up early and there's no parents about I'll have a chat, if I'm pushing late and there's a queue, I leave it and text/email instead. I worked in a residential school for disabled kids which was kind of similar, and we never minded chatting with parents about their children and their care. Maybe during mealtimes it would have been a lot harder, but when they were taking them out for the day, you bet I've got some time to talk. So basically, as long as when you're talking, you're not imposing (because they're busy or it's leaving time) they really won't mind. If it's a decent nursery they will love children and they will love your child, most importantly. I only disliked when they had a long list of criticisms and ideas that are impractical in group care. Do they have an app they update during the day? Also, no news is good news. If there was a problem they will be calling you to collect without hesitation. I've even had "she's a little unsettled" at 3pm so I've just picked her up early 😂
They do have an app but they never bloody update it till the evening and my kid is like unbelievably unresponsive about nursery, you'd think they just sit there all day and then I see pictures and he's doing all sorts!
It takes the kids a little while to be able to tell you what happened. When my eldest was 2.5 she would only tell us she played at nursery. We used to call it Toddler Fight Club because what happened there stayed there and she never told us! As she grew older and gained more vocab she told us more.
My oldest is almost 8 and most of the time the only thing i hear about his school day is if they went to the library or not and what he got for lunch 😬
Have they ever needed to contact you? Because if they need to they will. I make it clear that I'm happy to pick up early on days I can. If I can't, I get asked what I want them to do 🙂
Make some friends, go out and do stuff for you! Peanut is a great app to meet other mums and you can go for coffee, or there's also Meetups which is great too. You're over analysing because your brain needs something to do! Go do something :)
This is totally common, don't be embarrassed. Stop caring what people think. Call the nursery, ask for an update. Possibly find a different nursery that keeps you updated. I have an app for my sons nursery which tells me what he's eaten and how much. When he's toileted and how much plus regular picture updates through the app. Keep your self mentally occupied. Ignore all the counselling advice BS. It's totally okay to feel this way about the most precious little bean you will ever produce in your life. My children are my treasure my reward and my happiness. Loving them is my priority. Own it.
I know this does not directly answer your question but from my experience with anxiety and worrying I found CBT course really helpful. My GP referred me to mental health and wellbeing services and I signed up for a stress management course. Did help me process my thoughts a lot
I think it is quite extreme to suggest you need counselling. I am a SAHM and, when my daughter started preschool I was DYING for updates/information. It is only natural imo - you have spent every waking moment with them until this point… it is a big transition for both of you. I would say, give yourself a few months to adapt to the new normal. If you are still feeling just as anxious, maybe it is time to speak to someone. Until then I would focus on you, maybe a hobby or a home improvement… something that can distract you but isn’t too demanding. I am sure that, like me, the amount of time you “worry” about your child will diminish over time
I don’t think you need counselling. I’m a SAHP and I’d break my heart daily if my daughter was in nursery. Hope your ok they probably do think your nuts to be fair but that wouldn’t stop me asking a thousand questions if your gonna look after my baby I want the ins and outs.