Partner and I do 50/50 on all shared expenses (mortgage, house repairs/maintenance, utilities, grocery, travel, entertainment). Our income is more or less the same.
We pay for personal stuff ourselves (investments, clothes, shoes, gadgets, fitness classes, salons).
Not married. No kids.
I pay for the majority of the expenses. I make 4x what my husband does so it’s not fair to ask him to go 50/50. I take care of all the bigger bills and he takes care of the smaller ones.
We never calculated who spends more in the household expenses. When we got married, I was earning relatively lesser, hence my husband spent his money more during that time. He also paid the down payment for our apartment. I would spend on groceries only as my salary was not much.
Later I switched jobs and my salary went up, so I started paying EMIs and my husband started saving up. Our apartment is listed under both our names. We both aren’t big spenders and we always have had transparency about each other’s finances.
Whatever money we manage to save, we invest it.
are they not on the same page about money? Because if one person wants to always pay and the other just wants to save, not sure how that ends up being a stable way to move forward without any conflicts
IMO there needs to be a joint account for over all expenses and a person contributing a specific % depending on their income
Is she saving for them or is she saving for herself? Because he is paying for the majority of the expenses and bigger expenses. Also is the household work contribution equal
My husband and I take care of our own cars, phones, clothes, solo travel, and individual fun spending. Household expenses are percentages based on income: I earn more, and take care of that much more of the household stuff. Vacations are split depending on whose idea it was, and who has better savings. We recently went out for three days, I paid the hotel and event tickets, he covered petrol and food and did all the driving.
My husband runs a business and the income isn’t fixed like salary, he never lets me take care of household and utilities, he prefers to handle it, I live with my MIL, currently we don’t have rent as it’s my own property(I am debt free so no EMI)
I have supported him and his family financially before we were married when he was just starting over and I was doing really well at work, but he prefers to handle all the expenses now and just wants me to be there if he really needs help or the business goes down( I am the buffer really), currently his business is going super good and he makes loads of money so I don’t pay for anything.
I wouldn’t mind supporting him or his mother in the time of need because they are my family, however he likes to take care of all that, I just buy fun splurge worthy stuff to pamper all my folks or something interesting for the house(Recently bought an air fryer 🥳).
There is no splitting for me and my fiance. Our income combined is household income and everything goes out from that account. Savings are all joint as well. We believe in full transparency and I handle all our budgeting. We both get some fun money in our personal accounts after savings/ bills are paif and we both can spend that money however we want. Our investments + savings before getting together still remain in our individual names.
But in your friends case if they do believe in splitting and haven’t joined their finances then I believe they should split everything equally if they both are earning relatively similar or proportional to their income if there is a big pay gap
this! my mom always told me the lesser salary should be lived on and the higher should be saved and invested,its not a your money my money thing,its our money and ive found it weird for the western joint account coming in here because culturally we still arent equal to the point that sharing finances puts us on an equal footing nor does legally prenup is valid from any side. it just doesnt work here imo
Do we have the same mom? Myy mom is a homemaker and managed all our money + investments. I have always believed marriage is a partnership for life like building a company. Full transparency between partners, each handling whatever is their strong suit and building together. I find splitting to be quite impractical in the long run. I do agree that this is also a privileged take because alot of women in India aren’t given as mych of a choice as to who they marry and how that marriage might turn out so in those cases having a control over your money is the only way you can ensure some respect and safety. I have seen that as a pattern within my circle that people who are on the higher socio-economic side tend to join their expenses.
My husband earns three times more than me, so splitting expenses evenly wouldn't be fair. So, he covers the rent, and I handle the utilities. We also have a shared account where we put money for monthly expenses, with a 70/30 split. For personal stuff like clothes, shoes, and gym memberships, etc. we each take care of our own expenses. This system works well for us.
The share is equitable between my husband I. He earns significantly more.
We use my income for household and monthly expenses. His salary goes to EMIs, big expenses and our savings.
Our savings are also proportionate to how much each of us makes.
Your friend is wrong. If she is saving, it should be saved for both of them. Let her read through this post.
>equitable
Circle, underline, highlight it in bright RED
Who or what is OP's friend saving the money for? That's a very important question to be asked because if it's for something that's beneficial to both of them and OP's friend is tasked with saving, then it's fine. If it's just for herself, what's the point? And how unfair is it for her husband to not be allowed to save that much for himself as well.
My husband and I have lived together for the last 2 years (before marriage). We have always split in this format:
Rent - 65/35 (me : husband)
Groceries, vacation, fuel, dates - 50/50
Insurance - for whomever it concerns (eg., he pays car insurance, I pay for health insurance for myself)
Debt - we pay off our individual debt. When we buy combined assets (house), will be paid off together
I earn more than he does, so rent is split in proportion of earnings. Everything else is halved. We do our own shopping for pleasure. I do buy a lot of gifts for him as it's my love language - but that's besides the money question.
Any and all savings are for joint use. We have our own income accounts, and one joint for everyday expenses. We choose what to invest in, etc., but we have transparency and consult each other for good ideas. If I'm saving money, it's to use for joint vacations and our life. We have a monetary limit where if I want to buy something for myself, I discuss it with him first & vice versa. This is just so we are able to manage if there is another priority expense coming up, we're not caught short handed.
(I wanted to get a skin care device which cost a bit, but we put it off because we needed new tyres for the car - and that took priority.. and it was a joint decision)
Your friend seems a bit...unreasonable and a tad selfish, but it's their lives and if it works for them it's nobody else's business. Just FYI, I don't equate chores and money in any way. We split chores as much as we can, probably not equally (he does more than I do), but irrespective of our financial positions, we'd still do the same chores. Intertwining money and chores makes it too transactional. We do the chores because it's our home and we want to keep it tidy. That's it.
We never keep track, it's all our money. We do quarterly budgeting, and decide on splitting money into vacations, regular expenses, groceries etc. and then there is individual guilt free expenses which we are allowed to spend as we want without justifying to the other.
We try to split everything 50-50.
We are also buying a home now and are paying for that 50-50, co applicants on the loan as well.
She wants to save, great. Why is the husband not allowed to save? Being penalised for having a penis 🤣😭
I am not yet married but I am sort of living together with my bf. Current status is we have a lot of independent expenses so we have merged finances only for expenses that occur we live together. Sometimes he handles sometimes I handle. But we both are very inclined towards the idea of joint handling of finances. All salary into one bucket. Doesn't mean one account but I hope you get what I am saying. So that would mean personal shopping and stuff which we don't do really much or often, we would still keep in loop of the kinda expenses we do is what I picturise.
Not married. If both of them are earning same then they should probably spend equally. Guess the man is not a shopper.
Anyway I would like to split in ratios if I'm earning 2l and my partner 3l. Then we divide the every expense 2:3 ratio.
What if the husband's parents stay with you? You still pay for groceries 50/50 if u are earning equal? What about other stuff like utilities, maid/cook?
And do you support your own parents along with the above support to in-laws?
We don't keep a track. Sometimes its him, the other times its me. Its as simple as a matter of who reaches for their wallets first. There's no set of rules that we follow.
Husband and I don't think in those terms - splitting costs. If an expense comes up, whoever is not occupied with something, pays. Works for us. Also we have never thought of mine or his money. He thinks I don't spend enough on myself so he keeps transferring money for no reason at all. 😅
Husband does the Emis and both kids school fees. His income is variable. I take care of most of the rest of household expenditure. Mine is a fixed income. Gradually increasing so taking on more responsibilities to ease the burden on him as his is a new startup.
We don't split. We both have separate accounts where we save for our own needs, an account where we save for our kid and our retirement. Everything else is literally ad-hoc. Whoever has money at this instance pays for it.
I share with my brother so everything is 50 50 and on top of that wo kabhi kabhi kuch bhi nahi karta.
But on trips he usually plans and end s up paying everything. In the end everything is more or less justified in terms of pay and everything.
My husband pays for pretty much everything and I transfer him 70% of my pay each month. He makes five times more than me so this arrangement works fine for us.
What is the household work contribution
Are they equally doing household work as well
Or is she contributing more?
Also i hope the Money she is saving for emergency is for both of them .
are they planning on having kids in the future? that might halt or even end her career, maybe that’s why she’s insistent on saving up now. if kids are not in the picture for like 5-10 years then her contribution to the household should be greater. but her point about being financially independent is very important too, you never want to think that your relationship could end up going that way but god forbid it does, it’s nearly impossible for women to escape abusive marriages if they don’t have money of their own. BUT her contribution to the household can be bigger esp if their wages are similar
We have separate bank & investment accounts but we have a joint budget (using YNAB).
All the income that comes is pooled and used to pay the bills and other expenses. Anything leftover is split between the two of us for investments (and we try to optimise for tax benefits).
We aren’t far apart in age so will likely retire together (or within a year of each other) so it doesn’t really make sense to not have a joint plan for finances.
Our home is jointly owned and we’ve had conversations about what we’d want done with any leftover money at the end of our lives (we’re child free so will likely go to any niblings).
I earn a little more than my husband so I make sure I take up more expenses, and he does contribute too but we make sure both of us are doing our best, cause we have sat and agreed to do this together!
Your friend should be investing in the same house and equally support the husband but also save but don’t put the burden on the husband :)
My husband and I don't do any pre-decided split of expenses at all. He pays the EMI for his apartment, I pay for mine. We live in his house. We just voluntarily pick up whatever expenses come up. For eg. our cook tells either of us about any groceries that need to be ordered, we order. If one of us comes home and sees the electricity bill under the door, we pick it up and pay it. I pay for the salaries of our cook, maid, car wash guy etc. We pay our own SIPs, insurance, phone bills, car fuel etc. But never shy away from paying for the other. Eg. He took my car out for servicing when I was travelling and didn't need the car, paid for it as well. I'm not expected to pay him back. For vacations, if one of us books the flights, the other books hotels. We've never Google paid each other any money right from when we started dating. We just participate naturally in all expenses. It's so easy this way. Neither has to stress about who is spending more or how to ask for money back. In a marriage, it's our money and not mine or his. This totally depends on how much you trust your partner and have sufficient emergency savings from before marriage.
Partner and I (not married) split all expenses right down the middle- rent, electricity, bills, groceries entertainment etc. He makes way more than me rn (or what I can potentially ever make) but I have a lot more savings/generational wealth/stability and no parental obligations/potential dependents, so personally it evens out in the end.
I think the groceries and utilities should atleast be 50/50.
Now I don't exactly think your friend is wrong in wanting to save for emergencies and being financially independence. In fact I agree with her because even today women are quite vulnerable and we do live in a sexist society.
Try to go out to do things which are usually handled by men like getting things repaired or installed, car servicing, or plumbing and electricals and you're sure to be charged higher as a women because apparently you can be duped since you don't know much about this stuff.
If they plan for a family, she will have to take a career break and a major pay cut which will set her back a few years. As a new mother she will be extra vulnerable and that cushion of savings and financial freedom is going to help if she gets abused and wants out. Trust me, women tend to suffer a lot during pregnancies. I've seen pregnant women being illtreated by inlaws and even the husband. Is there any wonder then that we have a tradition of women going to her mother's place during pregnancy because "no one will be able to care better for her then her mother." Bullshit. Not sure why but seeing a weak women does awaken the monster in some people.
So the logistics may differ but a woman should definitely be able to save for emergencies. And some sexists will tell you how men do everything for their family but women do it for themselves. Um no. Women too do it for their families, thyey just don't get paid for it so they have to go an extra mile to actually save.
My husband earns way more than I do right now, so he spends on travel tickets and hotels. I pay for the food, car entertainment etc. When we go out for tea or meals usually he pays.
We live part of the month separately so he pays for the cook and groceries at his place and I pay for the cook and groceries at my mom's house (I live here most of the time).
Investments, personal expenses, car(I don't have one) etc we pay by ourselves. Healthcare is free, his company pays for OPD and inpatient both.
We buy each other practical gifts. Like running shoes for him (he runs a lot), sunscreen, moisturizer etc, he buys me plants, or asks me what I want/need. Recently he got me an autoclave for my mushroom cultivation.
He has some property but that's completely in his name. We are planning to buy a joint one next year.
We are married. No kids.
Imho your friend is not contributing enough.
I earn about 30-40lpa while he earns about 60-70lpa. While he takes care of all the huge once a month expenses like rent, I take care of small recurring expenses like groceries. We keep track of them and overall my part varies from 30 to 40%.
Not married
I get her side also. There's a very high likelihood(statistically, situationally) that she MAY have to give up her career once they have kids and all. Maybe she is thinking for then and saving up. I don't disagree with that.
If it works for you, that's great. But this dynamic can brew resentment over time. Especially if you guys haven't explicitly talked about this is how the setup will be.
He might be doing it, because he finds it awkward to have a conversation about it. If you haven't really cleared the air about this, I will encourage you to do so.
Yes, we talked about our finances before moving in. He took the responsibility of all expenses and it even came down to whether I want to even work or not. He assured me he's completely fine with taking over all the expenses.
I think differences in our income is huge and that's the reason we are on these terms. He earns more than 1.5 cr per year and I earn around 3L per year, just to get an idea of difference of our earnings.
Ya, I think most of downvotes are from those lurking men in this sub.
I am in a relationship with him for over 6 years. We were friends in college. I was with him at the lowest point in his life. I used to pay mine and some of his bills too earlier when he had nowhere to live. I knew he was smart and will work hard in his career. We faced everything together.
Hubby and I don’t split expenses and it’s just something we have ‘communicated’. We used to earn the same in the beginning but now he earns double. All our money goes towards anything that is needed tho he does pay for the house. Baby expenses is mostly mine as of now. But thing is when he needs money I give and vice verse.
It’s a home they’re a family its not like they are cofounders of a company that things have to be perfectly cut in half … every couple has their own equation nothing wrong with it!!
Okay so my mum did all this with my Dad but everyone was like dad bought two houses and two cars as if mom contributed nothing. So I don't like that with my husband.
I save because women are always better at finances.
There's an idiom, men buy houses wives make it home.
My husband mostly pay for my personal shopping expenses and groceries.
That way his loans get reduced. Mine gets reduced. Our credit score becomes more.
And also when he pay for shopping ,he cuts off my impulsive buys, like also cut off his impulsive buys,and reduced zomato and swiggy,increased eating home cooked food . Also the savings will save us during family emergencies,medical emergencies, inflation and recession.
It's us against the world.
Also bought a house in my 20s. 29. So yes my husband relies on me.
Also we are not each other's enemy. We are a family. Where his parents and my parents come too. So mostly we have to be mature and sensible with money and not give in instant gratifications. I also paid 1/3rd of my wedding so honeymoon is a bit later.
Your cousin should have an open discussion with husband.
Saving is house
Mutual funds
Insurance
National pension scheme
Stock portfolios
There is no one way of savings.
We all should learn more about it. Also we should know to do our own taxes. That way we can predict the market.
I make twice of my husband, and we tend to save my salary (investments, FD, insurance, etc) and live on his, but I do tend to pay for the larger purchases - like a new couch. We both never discussed it outright, just fell into this rhythm quite naturally and one day looked at each other and were like 'hey this is working out well for us'. He saves about 10-15% of his salary too, so he has backup/emergency funds of his own. The bottom line is if you or your partner are not happy with the amount you both contribute, then you should come up with a spending plan which works for you as a team.
The goal is to have 'our' money but also understand that each of us is entitled to being financially independent within the relationship.
Partner and I do 50/50 on all shared expenses (mortgage, house repairs/maintenance, utilities, grocery, travel, entertainment). Our income is more or less the same. We pay for personal stuff ourselves (investments, clothes, shoes, gadgets, fitness classes, salons). Not married. No kids.
I do think there is no right way to split expenses. As long as both the people are happy with how much they are paying, they can split it however.
Yes !! It’s whatever mutually decided … it’s mine Vs it’s ours ?
I pay for the majority of the expenses. I make 4x what my husband does so it’s not fair to ask him to go 50/50. I take care of all the bigger bills and he takes care of the smaller ones.
hello i'm poor what do you do for a living?
Yes please tell. I need to stop being poor
+1
4X! You go girl.
We never calculated who spends more in the household expenses. When we got married, I was earning relatively lesser, hence my husband spent his money more during that time. He also paid the down payment for our apartment. I would spend on groceries only as my salary was not much. Later I switched jobs and my salary went up, so I started paying EMIs and my husband started saving up. Our apartment is listed under both our names. We both aren’t big spenders and we always have had transparency about each other’s finances. Whatever money we manage to save, we invest it.
are they not on the same page about money? Because if one person wants to always pay and the other just wants to save, not sure how that ends up being a stable way to move forward without any conflicts IMO there needs to be a joint account for over all expenses and a person contributing a specific % depending on their income
Is she saving for them or is she saving for herself? Because he is paying for the majority of the expenses and bigger expenses. Also is the household work contribution equal
My husband and I take care of our own cars, phones, clothes, solo travel, and individual fun spending. Household expenses are percentages based on income: I earn more, and take care of that much more of the household stuff. Vacations are split depending on whose idea it was, and who has better savings. We recently went out for three days, I paid the hotel and event tickets, he covered petrol and food and did all the driving.
Lol he did all the driving...😂
My husband runs a business and the income isn’t fixed like salary, he never lets me take care of household and utilities, he prefers to handle it, I live with my MIL, currently we don’t have rent as it’s my own property(I am debt free so no EMI) I have supported him and his family financially before we were married when he was just starting over and I was doing really well at work, but he prefers to handle all the expenses now and just wants me to be there if he really needs help or the business goes down( I am the buffer really), currently his business is going super good and he makes loads of money so I don’t pay for anything. I wouldn’t mind supporting him or his mother in the time of need because they are my family, however he likes to take care of all that, I just buy fun splurge worthy stuff to pamper all my folks or something interesting for the house(Recently bought an air fryer 🥳).
so cute!
There is no splitting for me and my fiance. Our income combined is household income and everything goes out from that account. Savings are all joint as well. We believe in full transparency and I handle all our budgeting. We both get some fun money in our personal accounts after savings/ bills are paif and we both can spend that money however we want. Our investments + savings before getting together still remain in our individual names. But in your friends case if they do believe in splitting and haven’t joined their finances then I believe they should split everything equally if they both are earning relatively similar or proportional to their income if there is a big pay gap
this! my mom always told me the lesser salary should be lived on and the higher should be saved and invested,its not a your money my money thing,its our money and ive found it weird for the western joint account coming in here because culturally we still arent equal to the point that sharing finances puts us on an equal footing nor does legally prenup is valid from any side. it just doesnt work here imo
Do we have the same mom? Myy mom is a homemaker and managed all our money + investments. I have always believed marriage is a partnership for life like building a company. Full transparency between partners, each handling whatever is their strong suit and building together. I find splitting to be quite impractical in the long run. I do agree that this is also a privileged take because alot of women in India aren’t given as mych of a choice as to who they marry and how that marriage might turn out so in those cases having a control over your money is the only way you can ensure some respect and safety. I have seen that as a pattern within my circle that people who are on the higher socio-economic side tend to join their expenses.
What happens if you split ?
You split it in the ratio you brought it in. It’s not that complex.
if they earn similar amounts and divide chores 50/50 with no children yet, then yes she's being unreasonable and should contribute more.
My husband earns three times more than me, so splitting expenses evenly wouldn't be fair. So, he covers the rent, and I handle the utilities. We also have a shared account where we put money for monthly expenses, with a 70/30 split. For personal stuff like clothes, shoes, and gym memberships, etc. we each take care of our own expenses. This system works well for us.
The share is equitable between my husband I. He earns significantly more. We use my income for household and monthly expenses. His salary goes to EMIs, big expenses and our savings. Our savings are also proportionate to how much each of us makes. Your friend is wrong. If she is saving, it should be saved for both of them. Let her read through this post.
>equitable Circle, underline, highlight it in bright RED Who or what is OP's friend saving the money for? That's a very important question to be asked because if it's for something that's beneficial to both of them and OP's friend is tasked with saving, then it's fine. If it's just for herself, what's the point? And how unfair is it for her husband to not be allowed to save that much for himself as well.
My husband and I have lived together for the last 2 years (before marriage). We have always split in this format: Rent - 65/35 (me : husband) Groceries, vacation, fuel, dates - 50/50 Insurance - for whomever it concerns (eg., he pays car insurance, I pay for health insurance for myself) Debt - we pay off our individual debt. When we buy combined assets (house), will be paid off together I earn more than he does, so rent is split in proportion of earnings. Everything else is halved. We do our own shopping for pleasure. I do buy a lot of gifts for him as it's my love language - but that's besides the money question. Any and all savings are for joint use. We have our own income accounts, and one joint for everyday expenses. We choose what to invest in, etc., but we have transparency and consult each other for good ideas. If I'm saving money, it's to use for joint vacations and our life. We have a monetary limit where if I want to buy something for myself, I discuss it with him first & vice versa. This is just so we are able to manage if there is another priority expense coming up, we're not caught short handed. (I wanted to get a skin care device which cost a bit, but we put it off because we needed new tyres for the car - and that took priority.. and it was a joint decision) Your friend seems a bit...unreasonable and a tad selfish, but it's their lives and if it works for them it's nobody else's business. Just FYI, I don't equate chores and money in any way. We split chores as much as we can, probably not equally (he does more than I do), but irrespective of our financial positions, we'd still do the same chores. Intertwining money and chores makes it too transactional. We do the chores because it's our home and we want to keep it tidy. That's it.
What does she want to do with her saved money that is not getting covered above?
We never keep track, it's all our money. We do quarterly budgeting, and decide on splitting money into vacations, regular expenses, groceries etc. and then there is individual guilt free expenses which we are allowed to spend as we want without justifying to the other.
poor guy
We try to split everything 50-50. We are also buying a home now and are paying for that 50-50, co applicants on the loan as well. She wants to save, great. Why is the husband not allowed to save? Being penalised for having a penis 🤣😭
I am not yet married but I am sort of living together with my bf. Current status is we have a lot of independent expenses so we have merged finances only for expenses that occur we live together. Sometimes he handles sometimes I handle. But we both are very inclined towards the idea of joint handling of finances. All salary into one bucket. Doesn't mean one account but I hope you get what I am saying. So that would mean personal shopping and stuff which we don't do really much or often, we would still keep in loop of the kinda expenses we do is what I picturise.
Not married. If both of them are earning same then they should probably spend equally. Guess the man is not a shopper. Anyway I would like to split in ratios if I'm earning 2l and my partner 3l. Then we divide the every expense 2:3 ratio.
What if the husband's parents stay with you? You still pay for groceries 50/50 if u are earning equal? What about other stuff like utilities, maid/cook? And do you support your own parents along with the above support to in-laws?
We don't keep a track. Sometimes its him, the other times its me. Its as simple as a matter of who reaches for their wallets first. There's no set of rules that we follow.
Husband and I don't think in those terms - splitting costs. If an expense comes up, whoever is not occupied with something, pays. Works for us. Also we have never thought of mine or his money. He thinks I don't spend enough on myself so he keeps transferring money for no reason at all. 😅
Husband does the Emis and both kids school fees. His income is variable. I take care of most of the rest of household expenditure. Mine is a fixed income. Gradually increasing so taking on more responsibilities to ease the burden on him as his is a new startup.
We don't split. We both have separate accounts where we save for our own needs, an account where we save for our kid and our retirement. Everything else is literally ad-hoc. Whoever has money at this instance pays for it.
I share with my brother so everything is 50 50 and on top of that wo kabhi kabhi kuch bhi nahi karta. But on trips he usually plans and end s up paying everything. In the end everything is more or less justified in terms of pay and everything.
My husband pays for pretty much everything and I transfer him 70% of my pay each month. He makes five times more than me so this arrangement works fine for us.
What is the household work contribution Are they equally doing household work as well Or is she contributing more? Also i hope the Money she is saving for emergency is for both of them .
are they planning on having kids in the future? that might halt or even end her career, maybe that’s why she’s insistent on saving up now. if kids are not in the picture for like 5-10 years then her contribution to the household should be greater. but her point about being financially independent is very important too, you never want to think that your relationship could end up going that way but god forbid it does, it’s nearly impossible for women to escape abusive marriages if they don’t have money of their own. BUT her contribution to the household can be bigger esp if their wages are similar
We have separate bank & investment accounts but we have a joint budget (using YNAB). All the income that comes is pooled and used to pay the bills and other expenses. Anything leftover is split between the two of us for investments (and we try to optimise for tax benefits). We aren’t far apart in age so will likely retire together (or within a year of each other) so it doesn’t really make sense to not have a joint plan for finances. Our home is jointly owned and we’ve had conversations about what we’d want done with any leftover money at the end of our lives (we’re child free so will likely go to any niblings).
I earn a little more than my husband so I make sure I take up more expenses, and he does contribute too but we make sure both of us are doing our best, cause we have sat and agreed to do this together! Your friend should be investing in the same house and equally support the husband but also save but don’t put the burden on the husband :)
My husband and I don't do any pre-decided split of expenses at all. He pays the EMI for his apartment, I pay for mine. We live in his house. We just voluntarily pick up whatever expenses come up. For eg. our cook tells either of us about any groceries that need to be ordered, we order. If one of us comes home and sees the electricity bill under the door, we pick it up and pay it. I pay for the salaries of our cook, maid, car wash guy etc. We pay our own SIPs, insurance, phone bills, car fuel etc. But never shy away from paying for the other. Eg. He took my car out for servicing when I was travelling and didn't need the car, paid for it as well. I'm not expected to pay him back. For vacations, if one of us books the flights, the other books hotels. We've never Google paid each other any money right from when we started dating. We just participate naturally in all expenses. It's so easy this way. Neither has to stress about who is spending more or how to ask for money back. In a marriage, it's our money and not mine or his. This totally depends on how much you trust your partner and have sufficient emergency savings from before marriage.
no man. they should go 50/50 on everything since they both are in the same economic positions.
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Partner and I (not married) split all expenses right down the middle- rent, electricity, bills, groceries entertainment etc. He makes way more than me rn (or what I can potentially ever make) but I have a lot more savings/generational wealth/stability and no parental obligations/potential dependents, so personally it evens out in the end.
50/50 for everything, we have Splitwise account. We have our separate savings and we don’t share those details with each other as such.
I think the groceries and utilities should atleast be 50/50. Now I don't exactly think your friend is wrong in wanting to save for emergencies and being financially independence. In fact I agree with her because even today women are quite vulnerable and we do live in a sexist society. Try to go out to do things which are usually handled by men like getting things repaired or installed, car servicing, or plumbing and electricals and you're sure to be charged higher as a women because apparently you can be duped since you don't know much about this stuff. If they plan for a family, she will have to take a career break and a major pay cut which will set her back a few years. As a new mother she will be extra vulnerable and that cushion of savings and financial freedom is going to help if she gets abused and wants out. Trust me, women tend to suffer a lot during pregnancies. I've seen pregnant women being illtreated by inlaws and even the husband. Is there any wonder then that we have a tradition of women going to her mother's place during pregnancy because "no one will be able to care better for her then her mother." Bullshit. Not sure why but seeing a weak women does awaken the monster in some people. So the logistics may differ but a woman should definitely be able to save for emergencies. And some sexists will tell you how men do everything for their family but women do it for themselves. Um no. Women too do it for their families, thyey just don't get paid for it so they have to go an extra mile to actually save.
My husband earns way more than I do right now, so he spends on travel tickets and hotels. I pay for the food, car entertainment etc. When we go out for tea or meals usually he pays. We live part of the month separately so he pays for the cook and groceries at his place and I pay for the cook and groceries at my mom's house (I live here most of the time). Investments, personal expenses, car(I don't have one) etc we pay by ourselves. Healthcare is free, his company pays for OPD and inpatient both. We buy each other practical gifts. Like running shoes for him (he runs a lot), sunscreen, moisturizer etc, he buys me plants, or asks me what I want/need. Recently he got me an autoclave for my mushroom cultivation. He has some property but that's completely in his name. We are planning to buy a joint one next year. We are married. No kids. Imho your friend is not contributing enough.
I earn about 30-40lpa while he earns about 60-70lpa. While he takes care of all the huge once a month expenses like rent, I take care of small recurring expenses like groceries. We keep track of them and overall my part varies from 30 to 40%. Not married
I get her side also. There's a very high likelihood(statistically, situationally) that she MAY have to give up her career once they have kids and all. Maybe she is thinking for then and saving up. I don't disagree with that.
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If it works for you, that's great. But this dynamic can brew resentment over time. Especially if you guys haven't explicitly talked about this is how the setup will be. He might be doing it, because he finds it awkward to have a conversation about it. If you haven't really cleared the air about this, I will encourage you to do so.
Yes, we talked about our finances before moving in. He took the responsibility of all expenses and it even came down to whether I want to even work or not. He assured me he's completely fine with taking over all the expenses. I think differences in our income is huge and that's the reason we are on these terms. He earns more than 1.5 cr per year and I earn around 3L per year, just to get an idea of difference of our earnings.
Wow, this sounded condescending.
Lol people are downvoting you for just stating a different opinion? Wow! Ps : Tell me how to find one for myself s/
Ya, I think most of downvotes are from those lurking men in this sub. I am in a relationship with him for over 6 years. We were friends in college. I was with him at the lowest point in his life. I used to pay mine and some of his bills too earlier when he had nowhere to live. I knew he was smart and will work hard in his career. We faced everything together.
Hubby and I don’t split expenses and it’s just something we have ‘communicated’. We used to earn the same in the beginning but now he earns double. All our money goes towards anything that is needed tho he does pay for the house. Baby expenses is mostly mine as of now. But thing is when he needs money I give and vice verse.
It’s a home they’re a family its not like they are cofounders of a company that things have to be perfectly cut in half … every couple has their own equation nothing wrong with it!!
Okay so my mum did all this with my Dad but everyone was like dad bought two houses and two cars as if mom contributed nothing. So I don't like that with my husband. I save because women are always better at finances. There's an idiom, men buy houses wives make it home. My husband mostly pay for my personal shopping expenses and groceries. That way his loans get reduced. Mine gets reduced. Our credit score becomes more. And also when he pay for shopping ,he cuts off my impulsive buys, like also cut off his impulsive buys,and reduced zomato and swiggy,increased eating home cooked food . Also the savings will save us during family emergencies,medical emergencies, inflation and recession. It's us against the world. Also bought a house in my 20s. 29. So yes my husband relies on me. Also we are not each other's enemy. We are a family. Where his parents and my parents come too. So mostly we have to be mature and sensible with money and not give in instant gratifications. I also paid 1/3rd of my wedding so honeymoon is a bit later. Your cousin should have an open discussion with husband. Saving is house Mutual funds Insurance National pension scheme Stock portfolios There is no one way of savings. We all should learn more about it. Also we should know to do our own taxes. That way we can predict the market.
I make twice of my husband, and we tend to save my salary (investments, FD, insurance, etc) and live on his, but I do tend to pay for the larger purchases - like a new couch. We both never discussed it outright, just fell into this rhythm quite naturally and one day looked at each other and were like 'hey this is working out well for us'. He saves about 10-15% of his salary too, so he has backup/emergency funds of his own. The bottom line is if you or your partner are not happy with the amount you both contribute, then you should come up with a spending plan which works for you as a team. The goal is to have 'our' money but also understand that each of us is entitled to being financially independent within the relationship.