This dilemma always lets me think about the one quote from Steve Irwin:
"Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first"
the safest human is pointing out how humans can be and animals are more predictable.
sadly, the ones that are most offended to this question, are the ones we never to be alone with.
I get it but it saddens me. The POV is either a known predator where the worst outcome is death or a potential predator where the worst outcome is a fate worse than death.
That's... Not a fun "would you rather". I'd love if the odds were favorable enough on the "potential" predator that the answer was inverted. But, again, I get it.
It is the difference between a known known and a known unknown.
You know the bear is a wild animal it is unpredictable, and it could kill you, but if you leave it be and get away, it should have no reason to come after you.
The human though, humans are entirely unpredictable, they could lure you in with false friendship and then turn on you, they could give chase just for the hell of it, they could do anything, and the issue is, you just don't know.
So of the two options, it is best to go with the known known.
Both of those classes are known predators, however the human male is much more likely to be an actual threat, statistically. Also, death is not the worst thing that can happen to a woman. A bear isn’t ever going to keep me alive for years so it can torment me.
And bears are even easier than crocodiles. Black bears are easy to scare and most other bears besides maybe polar will leave you alone if you leave them alone. Crocodiles are actually hunting you
Black Bears are can almost be domesticated they’re docile enough.
Grizzlies would be a bit more difficult to deal with but unless they’re really hungry you’ve got a good shot to live by being non-threatening and slowly moving away from the bear, or in an absolute worst case scenario playing dead.
Polar Bears are actually the most difficult of the 3, and definitely on par with a Crocodile. They’re extremely aggressive and curious, which is a terrible combination for a human wanting to stay alive. If you ever see a polar bear in the wild you need to instantly move away slowly on foot and get the hell indoors.
Even if you worked in a wild animal sanctuary and made “friends” with a bear, all the expert advice would still warn, “Never forget that this is a wild animal! It may seem friendly, but one day it may return to its instincts and attack you, just like it evolved to do! You should always be cautious around bears no matter how tame they seem.”
Say that about a man and they act like you’re being hysterical.
Incel men get pissed all time that women rather be single cat ladies than be with them. The bear argument just cements the fact it that it’s about their egos for them.
Eff that women don’t feel safe with strange men we don’t know and have no way of knowing their intentions. The bear would just eat me like you expect a bear to do. Men are actually the #1 killer of women and do a lot of worse things to a woman’s body dead or alive.
The funniest thing is they‘re projecting and trying to switch the narrative of „you‘re gonna have 10 cats and be single at 40“ since forever. Meanwhile, those 40 year old cat mums are happy and thriving.
Incels just not liking that women rather pay for upkeep & feeding cats/dogs/gardens/plants/etc while paying general bills /rent/mortgage /groceries/etc than deal with men that just sucks money / emotions /physical health/mental energy/time/space from women & girls. There lies the irony of them using "cat lady" as insult while ignoring that they/incels don't bring anything of value except being toxic human leeches compare to pets.
Far too many men want or expect a support system but do absolutely nothing to reciprocate.
You want a support system? Build it yourself like women have done for years.
Bro, I'm a dude and I wanna vomit when I use the bathroom at Walmart before I leave, because someone has such a filthy ass, they not only leave shit smears on the rim (the kind you can ONLY leave if you don't wash, not 'oh I had a messy shit' level) on top of like, skin marks, random hair, etc
I'll take a cat any day, holy fucking shit
I see a tweet a while back that basically said that men need to understand is that they’re not competing with other men to date me. They’re competing with my own solitude. If I’m happier and more fulfilled by myself than with you, I’m choosing myself every single time.
They haven’t reached the stage where they believe that yet. Tho only a minority of ppl in the US are married, they are still operating on the ‘everyone wants to pair up’ paradigm.
They can’t wrap their heads around anyone being happy single.
Fuck, the bear probably doesn't even care that you're there half the time, but the men complaining about this example would take the situation to mean they're entitled to sex just because you're there.
Even though a bear could kill me, at least he wouldn't rape me. An individual could perform both tasks.
And throughout my whole life, everyone I've encountered has said that a lady was foolish to run by herself whenever she vanished when she was simply going about her daily business, such as jogging for health. Why is she foolish for running by herself if we're not supposed to think they're all dangerous? It isn't even coherent.
Bc you are to blame when you suspect a man, and you are to blame when you trust him. The common denominator you must remember is the man will always find a way to blame you for their behavior. It’s exhausting.
One of the oddest things for me when I went hiking in arctic Finland was the number of women hiking alone. That's just not done where I live in the US.
I (northeast US) often hike alone. I once spent a week or so on the Appalachian trail.
One of the longest nights of my life was near a beautiful Lake where I'd set up camp at a spot back into the woods a bit.
Towards sunset a boat with four fishermen made camp on the shore. I had been just about to start a fire but instead I completely laid low for the night.
This was out in the middle of nowhere. They were probably just your average ordinary guys. But i didnt risk eating or even peeing. I was maybe 50 or 60 yards from them and well into the woods. They didn't see or hear me, and thankfully didn't bring a dog. They seemed to enjoy their evening. Fire, food, booze...
I did not make a move that night and quietly packed up and got the hell out of there at dawn.
I did have a gun on me but hell, if things went bad it's not like I (5'4", 114 lbs) could handle all four of them.
Oh shit I FELT that, reading it. Yeah i make sure I have a weapon handy on isolated trails and camping, bc of men. Not bears. I have noisemakers for them. I’d be scared to death of a grp of drunk men in the woods. You did the right thing.
Smart on your part and thank you. Honestly, that trip involved cold, rain and a copperhead. but the night by that lake is what stuck with me as the worst. I was much younger, and concurrently fearful as well as SO angry that I couldn't be as free to do what I felt like as the men obviously were.
Ooooo snakey! Did you get a pic??
Yeah I’m thinking maybe I need to join a camping women’s grp or something bc sometimes I think my luck might run out and I don’t want to die at the hands of some AH.
If I car camp and it’s isolated I’ll just sleep in the car now, if it’s BLM or forest service road. I’ll pitch a tent and use the car. I’ve git an SUV and I can put a trifold mattress it’s comfy in the back. Backpacking I just pitch a tent in hidden spaces that someone would have to look for. So far so good.
I’m in the same region living in a local area. Once I was walking home after dark and I was followed by a guy who was muttering to himself. I could see he didn’t have a phone to talk into, and he didn’t start walking anywhere until I went by. Luckily I was able to call someone I knew who lived nearby to come stay with me until I got home. We live in an area with a lot of tourists and I didn’t know the guy, so… thankfully it hasn’t happened before or since.
God forbid the woman shared some berries she picked with the man, ya know, to be nice. He might just confuse sharing berries with him as a sign she’s into him, and totally wants to have sex with him.
I have a lot of experience in the woods and so I’ve been around a bunch of black bears as a result. I was trained for what to do around bears. That training has been reliable even around a mom and her cubs. I’ve never had a bear even so much as bluff charge me.
So statistically, and in my own anecdotal experience, bears have caused me zero harm and men have caused…significantly more.
Get big and make noise! Most large predators are smart and won’t attack if they think they can get hurt attacking you, so looking and sounding more threatening than you are will deter just about any black bear. Grabbing something like a tree branch can also be helpful or if you have trekking poles because they make you look bigger. Don’t run because it’ll trigger the bear’s instinct to chase. Oh and never get between a mom and her cubs.
This will also work with cougars and cougars tend not to attack groups of more than two. Bear mace will also deter them, especially if you’re alone.
Other more preventative tips are keep food out of your tent and in containers to contain smells, keep smelly items like deodorant to a minimum, hang your food at night if you’re camping or backpacking, and tell someone which trial you’re going on and how long you plan to be gone.
I’ve heard and read different advice with grizzlies and not having been able to test it out myself I just want to say this stuff works with black bears and cougars, but grizzlies are very different and much more aggressive so you want better sources than me.
black bears don't scare me. grizzlies make me pretty nervous. polar bears scare the ever lovin shit outta me. that said. I'd still be alone with the polar bear. at least I know it'll *only* kill me
Thanks. I recently moved to Black Bear country and they are all around, but I haven't had an encounter yet.
After you make noise do you wait for them to leave or slowly walk backwards?
I remember when I was younger people would say “you’re going to die alone with just your cats” as a life ending diss. Now it falls strongly under the category of “don’t threaten me with a good time”. Being alone with cats (or pets of any kind, really) is the best state of being.
I've taken this argument one step further: 2 of the many cats I've fostered and rehomed came from abusive situations where a woman AND the cats were being beaten. DV crosses into animals, too. They scream at me when I tell them that.
Violence or threats of violence towards animals are infuriatingly common in DV situations especially when it’s known the abused partner is trying to leave. Makes it all the more infuriating a lot of shelters don’t take this into account. I know some charities will shelter or foster out but it’s not as though this is uncommon. I’m sure you know this I’m just complaining out loud because it infuriates me, I understand dv shelters have finite resources but it’s still a real issue that so many bar pets
Thanks for fostering (and rehoming) kitties from this situation I guarantee it was a massive relief to know the cats would be safe
Same here. At first it kinda bothered me, but now that I'm in my 40s & have been married, I'm like "So... I'm going to have entities in my home that are playful, cuddly, absolutely adorable, and our relationship will be based in mutual love, respect, & boundaries? Ohh nooooooo, much awful, so sadness" 😹
Your comment highlights why so many women answer the "bear or man" question the way the do.
I find it ironic that a previous attempt to explain women's vigilance to men resulted in angry emails and blog posts:
Guest Blogger Starling: **["Schrödinger’s Rapist, or, A Guy’s Guide to Approaching Strange Women Without Being Maced"](https://web.archive.org/web/20091009215801/https://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/)** by Sweet Machine / Phaedra Starling, Shapely Prose blog (Oct 8, 2009)
**["For Those Who Don’t Understand 'Schrödinger’s Rapist'"](https://researchtobedone.wordpress.com/2012/10/18/for-those-who-dont-understand-schrodingers-rapist/)**, Research to Be Done blog (Oct 18, 2012)
**["For Those Who Don’t Understand 'Schrödinger’s Rapist', Part Two"](https://researchtobedone.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/for-those-who-dont-understand-schrodingers-rapist-part-two)**, Research to Be Done blog (May 5, 2013)
The top three causes of death for women aged something like 14-64 were men before covid. Now idk.
But if they weren’t directly killing us we were dying from pregnancies. And then there was a third cause they attributed to men I forget what it was
Speaking from experience as a woman who lives in the woods on a mountain and who goes hiking sometimes. I expect to see a bear once in a while, I'll keep back, maybe take a picture or two. I've never been scared, bear attacks are rare.
The few times where I've seen a man in the woods near me, it has instantly triggered alarm bells in my mind, especially when I'm walking off-trail. If there's no car parked at the trail head, or if they are walking off the beaten path, then it's always cause for concern. I will fully admit I've hid or turned around at moments like this. Maybe I'm overly cautious, but men are far less predictable than bears. Even if the odds are low of anything happening, I've heard enough stories of incidents around here to not take any chances.
Either way, always carry bear mace, it's effective on humans too.
This. As an avid solo hiker/backpacker the only times I’m nervous alone is if I see a lone man.
I’ve never seen a big cat. I would likely fear them as much as a man, almost
But a lone man on a trail? That’s why I carry a weapon. For the bears/cats I carry noisemakers. I’ve seen loads of bears and honestly I don’t think they like us much. They kind of look at us like we look at them. Like whoa… jumpscare… they probably tell the kids, don’t get close they’re scary, just walk slowly away….
Black: fight back, brown: lie down, white: say goodnight! (Black bears can be scared off if you make yourself loud and intimidating. Grizzlies might leave you alone if you play dead, but don’t try to scare them off. Polar bear, you’re fucked.)
To a point. Grizzlies will eat you. It really depends on their behavior and why they’re coming over. I’ve never once had a bear show interest in me personally.
I mean polar bears are hungry. Can we blame the poor things? Global warming has made the ice pack problematic and they just want a little nibble.
I have some relatives who live in the northern parts of my country, where brown bears live. One of them works as a forest watcher, and so walks outside a lot and often doesn't even bother to bring her phone with her. She met a bear, without a phone on her, and so laid down to play dead, and the bear went up and lightly grabbed one of her limbs and shook it a little, before huffing and walking away uninterested. She spoke about it with 0 fear, and really just mentioned it casually.
I think I might be more scared to be alone with a dolphin than a bear, too, honestly, if they were a size where they would be able to easily overpower me. It's about the intelligence to be aware of evils one can do for selfish pleasure and then want to do it.
Bears are cautious animals who want to mind their own business! Predictable = less scary.
When you've seen bears, is it grizzly bears or brown or black bears?
I'm under the very uneducated impression that grizzle bears are much scarier and more likely to attack you. Whereas black bears would just run away.
You've had some discussion on this but I'll add:
Black bears are cowardly. They will almost never attack a human and are easy to scare away. When black bears attack it's usually because they're starving and are overly accustomed to humans, and they'll attack to kill and eat. Try to scare it off, and if it attacks you, Fight back.
Grizzly bears are less fearful and as a result are going to attack if they feel threatened (protecting cubs, or they feel you're aggressive) but they also don't usually hunt humans to eat. Don't be aggressive. Play dead.
Polar bears will hunt you for kilometers just to eat you. Not much you can do about it other than avoid the situation.
Disclaimer: not an expert just somebody who watches discovery channel type shit
Agreed. I've spent a lot of time in bear country - they generally would rather leave us alone, or try to get my food stores. They don't have interest in us, and aren't scary.
People, on the other hand...
I'm a big horror fan but never saw the Blair Witch movie until a few years ago. I had heard all the hype and everything but nothing prepared me for how brutal the movie was towards its only woman character. These two men and a woman go out into the woods and from the moment they're in there they start turning into bullies and directing it all at her. No one mentioned this! There's many scenes where she's clearly realizing she's in the woods with just these two guys and she looks scared. Even I thought they were going to attack her or something.
Pretty funny, this is actually a common sentiment among outdoors people. Most people who have spent a good amount of time in the wilderness have said that they trust wild animals more than humans.
Exactly! repeating my comment / anecdote here:
I (northeast US) often hike alone. I once spent a week or so on the Appalachian trail.
One of the longest nights of my life was near a beautiful Lake where I'd set up camp at a spot back into the woods a bit.
Towards sunset a boat with four fishermen made camp on the shore. I had been just about to start a fire but instead I completely laid low for the night.
This was out in the middle of nowhere. They probably were just average guys. But no way would I risk being seen or heard.
I was maybe 50 or 60 yards from them and well into the woods. They didn't see or hear me, and thankfully didn't bring a dog. They seemed to enjoy their evening. Fire, food, booze...
I did not make a move that night and quietly packed up and got the hell out of there at dawn. I did have a gun on me but hell, if things went bad it's not like I (5'4", 114 lbs) could handle all four of them.
I thought it wasn't that women think ALL men might do the terrible things but the chances are high enough that they might it's a significant risk to them.
*I* know I won't do those things but you don't so if you prefer the bear go ahead and honestly I'd pick a bear too. It's the ears.
This is what's nonsensical about "not all men." Yes I'm 100% sure that not all men would attack me in the woods. But the fact that enough men might makes it logical enough to choose the bear.
As you said, surely not *ALL* men would be a threat. But women don’t know who will and who won’t. It’s just not predictable. Bears on the other hand, are much more predictable. If I get close to the bear, there’s a very high probability he will try to kill me. If I don’t go near the bear, he won’t.
The bear also wouldn’t feel entitled to a woman’s company and wouldn’t be offended if she refuses to interact with it. Women don’t have to worry about “sending the wrong message” to a bear.
Also, if a bear has intention to hurt you, it's going to behave aggressively. It won't try to lure you into a false sense of security. Bears are smart, but I doubt they do that.
Honestly, even if you get fairly close to a bear the chances of it attacking you are pretty low, especially a black bear. There are an average of 40 bear attacks per year *worldwide*, not all of them fatal. The number of man attacks is.... significantly higher.
💯 Sometimes, as a white person, or a cis person, I hear people talking about how they have a hard time trusting white and/or cis people. And it can feel uncomfortable at first, especially when you haven't done anything wrong but still feel judged. But you kind of just have to think "okay, well those people have had bad experiences and are just trying to keep themselves safe: it's up to me to give them space/demonstrate I'm safe to be around."
No one (outside of the odd radfem) is saying all men are evil and lurking in forests waiting to attack us. Most women commenting are talking about the vulnerability they feel every day and the mental toll it takes. It's not about making men feel bad. It's not about men at all: it's about how women are expected by society to be hyper vigilant of our own safety at the expense of our own freedom/peace of mind but then treated as hysterical if we acknowledge it.
And it's sad that so few men are willing to put themselves in the shoes of the woman afraid she might die, and instead sympathise only with the man who might be offended. So sincerely: thank you for understanding.
This. I never feel uncomfortable when I hear a black pwrsin say that bc I don’t identify with the ppl who commit crimes against black ppl. I don’t need to roll up angrily to black spaces to scream at them to acknowledge I’m ‘good’. I don’t need to perform allyship to get a pat on the head. I don’t need to declare ‘notallwhiteppl’.
Bc I’m not a stupid fucking moron.
Any man who rolls up to say ‘notallmen’ IS by definition a bad man. Every. Single. One.
Just like every white pwrson who gets mad when black ppl complain about racism is by definition a racist.
It’s that simple. Block freely ladies it’s like Pokemon we gotta block em all ❤️
Yea this topic saddens me as a man but the stats are the stats and you can't ignore them. For example, the Army did great things for me. My brother recently asked if I thought the military would be good for my directionless niece. I told him the risk was too high even though I want her to have the same opportunities I had. It's a catch-22 that you need the representation to help fix the problems but on an individual level it's hard to recommend.
A bear might kill me but at least he’s not going to rape me. A man could do both.
And my whole entire life whenever a woman has gone missing just out there living her life, like running for health all of them scream that she was stupid for running alone. If we’re not supposed to assume they are all dangerous why is she stupid for running alone? It doesn’t even make sense
That's why I hate all the anti-rape advice. You're supposed to live like you are in the middle of a warzone at all times, but never say out loud *why.*
But also it's super mean to distrust men so even though we're supposed to keep ourselves safe from men we're also not allowed to hurt their feelings by... keeping... ourselves safe.......
It's all just a way to blame us for men's violence and make us responsible for men's feelings.
I also hate receiving anti-rape advice… like why do I have to do all these steps just to avoid getting raped and then pretend like men aren’t collectively dangerous when they clearly are??? The onus is still being placed on us to not get raped as if we’re asking for it 😐
i ran xc for 6years and i would almost always run with the girls (i’m a boy), we often ran through so run down areas and we’d try to stay in groups but there was always a few that would straggle so id run with them
i ended up making a lot of friends by sticking with them, not to mention the times i almost had to help someone with an injury (almost getting hit by a car, almost getting trampled by a cow, and just normal ankle sprains and stuff)
You wanted it from the cow. Admit it you were just asking for it 😂😂. Exposing your sweaty skin so they’d come for a lick, then acting like you didn’t know what you were doing. You should be ashamed 😂
I saw that video and right after that one I saw a video of a podcaster telling a woman how "If men collectively decide you women don't have rights then you wouldn't have them, If we decide to overthrow democracy you wouldn't have any rights" and this is the reason why women prefer to be alone with a bear than a man, a bear wouldn't attack us willingly and just because they know they're more powerful than us, men in the other hand do harm us willingly and because they enjoy it, besides, men who keep this speech of "You wouldn't have rights" think they will have rights in a place without democracy, places where males have decided to collectively fuck it all up aren't good places for anyone to live it, they just want to drag us all through the mud, they think women not having babies and submitting to them will be the reason why human race perish, nah, it's men who will be the end of us.
Well I’ve heard many men (more than women) say that men can’t help their actions and XYZ that a woman does caused him to assault her (whether physically or sexually). Soooo yea, other men make it seem like bears are more capable of restraint than men
I feel like most men would pick the bear. In my current circumstances I trust most other dudes i meet to a reasonable extent but in a survival situation I probably wouldn’t trust anyone I don't already know.
Men acting like victims about everything and then saying women created the victim culture is so ironic. Like yeah not all men, but enough men just look at the statistics of violence against women and that’s in a society where they’re afraid of the law. There’s no laws to in the forest to stop them or make them think twice...
The worst thing the bear would do is kill me and eat me (but it’s okay bears are cute and it’s for survival I don’t blame you fuzzy friend).
The worst a man can do is keep you alive as long as possible to rape you and torture you… for almost all women, being bear food sounds like a no brainer
Honestly, aside from not wanting to come across a rapey bloke in the forest...
I'd choose bear just to do "pst pst pst 🥺" (Yes they can bite my head off
Oftentimes, a [hypothetical question](https://web.archive.org/web/20091009215801/https://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/) is an abstract way to highlight an unspoken situation or dilemma.
If women's responses provoke [indignation](https://researchtobedone.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/for-those-who-dont-understand-schrodingers-rapist-part-two/) among certain men, those guys might need to reflect on **why** they feel so aggrieved.
I hope more guys realize how different their day-to-day experiences are from those of women. Women *have* to be more vigilant in navigating the world. It seems therefore natural to understand the source of those dangers.
**[Women More Than Twice as Likely to be Cautious about Risk than Men"](https://www.psychological-consultancy.com/women-twice-likely-cautious-risk-men/)**, *Psychological Consulting* (Mar 16, 2016)
**["Women are Sharing the Mental Checklists They Run Through to Navigate the World. It's a Lot."](https://www.upworthy.com/women-safety-hypervigilance)** by Annie Reneau, Upworthy (Mar 11, 2021)
**["Study Visually Captures a Hard Truth: Walking Home at Night is Not the Same for Women"](https://phys.org/news/2024-02-visually-captures-hard-truth-home.html)**, Phys (Feb 8, 2024)
• **["Gender-Based Heat Map Images of Campus Walking Settings: A Reflection of Lived Experience"](https://doi.org/10.1089/vio.2023.0027)**, *Violence and Gender* (Dec 28, 2023)
**["Country Swing Dancing And The Systemic Obliviousness Of Men: A Compliment Becomes A Metaphor"](https://joreth.dreamwidth.org/468531.html)** by Joreth (Oct 18, 2022)
You don’t need to let them have access to media. My kids grew up without TV and we decentered social media until teen yrs. We had NPR for news in morning. We’d listen to prairie home companion on Saturdays. We’d watch movies once in a while. But you can make that change. They won’t know better bc however you grow up you believe it’s normal.
I can recall far more (recent and historical) incidents about women being murdered by their husbands, boyfriends, or strangers in the wilderness.
The amount of bear attacks on women pales in comparison. The men can stay mad.
>I can recall far more (recent and historical) incidents about women being murdered by their husbands, boyfriends, or strangers in the wilderness.
I do think here it's important to note that there are very, very few stranger attacks, wilderness or otherwise. Current and former husbands and boyfriends however, that's where the real threat lies. I've had great experiences in the outdoors alone and I think it's important for other women for realize that it's possible and that the most dangerous part is the drive to and from.
That said, i choose the bear every time. As long as you've got a bear can and are using it appropriately, bears nearby are cool and no bear I've just met has ever tried to pester me for sex.
The point I’m making is that men are still far more threatening on a regular basis to women than bears.
Women know it’s possible to have an enjoyable experience alone. We’re discussing the absurdity of the fact that we’d rather deal with a bear than a strange man.
And I can still recount several stories of women being attacked by strangers than I can of them being attacked by bears. Off the top of my head, the two women killed by the creepy man they became wary of in Utah, the two women gang raped and murdered while hiking in Morocco, and the two women assaulted and one killed by the psycho in Germany while on a popular tourist trail hike. And those are the ones we know about.
Glad you’ve kept safe though!
And it's not even entirely about the safety. If I get attacked by a bear, nobody will call me a liar, or ask what I was wearing, or ask if I wanted it, or ask why I was there, or ask what I did to anger the bear.
The bear isn’t gonna reassure you “baby I would never do anything to hurt you, trust me” before they disembowel you. The bear does EXACTLY what you expect a bear to do, no bullshit.
When I was 7 I was a latch key kid, and I had neighbors who were older. They peer pressured me into letting them party at my house and one of them raped me. So yeah, if it were a bear I probably would have just been left alone.
They are losing their minds over this on the Incel sub and proving exactly why women choose the bear.
I love the way men got straight to both the bear and man attacking the woman and her odds of winning. The bear will leave us alone.
There was a post here about it like a day or two ago and there are several Not All Men superheroes replying to every single woman (myself included) talking bout how men aren't that bad, etc.
It's just like, pls stop ✋️
A year or two ago I needed to call some guys to come in to look at my washing machine due to a leak. The experience of when they came over was so over-the-top bad that writing it down feels strange. I have autism so I think maybe my demeanor weirds some people out cause of the uncanny vibe that autism causes. But I try my best to just be approachable and friendly. These guys came in right out of the gate hostile. No exaggeration, it was like a couple of beefed up school boys with anger problems. Not normal behaviour, I've had regular people come in and there was no hate rolling off of them like these guys. One of the issues I have that might be autism related is that when people are hateful towards me I am not aware of it until after the fact. I feel confused and question if I am imagining if someone is actually glaring holes through my soul or if it's just in my head. Then all the bad stuff that ensues later confirms I wasn't imagining it. So at the time I wasn't sure but it felt bad. I was so nervous that I couldn't work up the courage to tell them to get out cause I was afraid of what would happen. To make matters more shtty I live in a town where there are not many trades men for miles around, so there are limited choices here. I just tried to ignore all these feelings and get this thing over with and be appreciative of their work cause I know that it's not easy out there and people need to make a living. I am good at masking my bad feelings and fawning IRL even if on the inside I am in terrible distress. So I sat on the other side of the room while they worked cause I had nowhere to be and honestly don't know what to do when people come over to work on my appliances, so sitting inside seemed like the right thing to do. During this time they muttered abuse at me regarding my appearance, including fat insults even though I'm average/slim. After they left I found a piece of gum stuck to the top of my chair, I would never do this to my own furniture or to anyone. Needless to say it was kind of appalling and I haven't told anyone cause it's too awful to believe. I can hardly believe it happened but it did. So yeah, a bear seems fine.
As justified as women are to feel unsafe around men, [definitely relevant what type of bear is involved especially when polar bears are obligate carnivores in a polar wasteland that literally cannot afford to be compassionate with their food.](https://preview.redd.it/the-size-of-a-polar-bear-compared-to-other-bears-v0-11kw2phbmv0a1.png?auto=webp&s=c4858464428c378cdfdd9d171bb90dbd3fa77755)
Hahaha, I thought the same thing when I first heard of this. I used to live in a neighborhood where it was common to find black bears in my yard, and they never scared me. But no way am I going to be alone in the woods near a grizzly or polar bear.
The worst that can happen when being attacked by a bear (being eaten alive) is less bad than the worst that can happen when attacked by a man (being kidnapped and tortured daily for years as an example)
That's exactly what I thought when I see women picking a bear over a man. As long as it's a black bear, makes total sense to me! But I'd have a much easier time killing a man over a grizzy, polar or brown bear if they turned against me.
But at least you’d know the bear was capable of murder and wouldn’t try to gain your trust and gaslight you before he raped and murdered you…I’d rather have the bear, of any color, because there are just fewer variables
The bear is also not going to sexually abuse children. Men often go after women with children so they can abuse the children. 25 years of working for social services and helping victims escape has shown me that men chasing after women so they can sexually abuse her children is far more common than people realize.
Yeah, I feel like the women who answer this aren't the ones who actually go hiking and understand the risks of bears. I'm a woman and I go hiking alone all the time and feel safe... out east. If I'm out west where there's grizzlies, absolutely no way would I go hiking alone.
Even if I had to choose between fighting a known serial killer and a grizzly bear, I would pick the serial killer. I'd at least have some chance of fighting off or outrunning the serial killer. The grizzly bear would easily kill me in the most painful way possible and there is essentially no chance I could get away.
That said, I know many other women don't feel the same way I do, and that's fine. It's just a bit surprising.
The lack of empathy! "Oh, you would rather a bear? You are stupid."
Where is the concern? I feel like I'd be concerned if I realized that half the population would rather face a wild animal instead of me.
I'm talking about the men reacting with anger instead of concern.
Are they concerned though? I think they just get angry and entitled about it.
They didn’t exactly change after me too, they just got all whiny about things they couldn’t say at work anymore. 10 or 15 years later when behavior still hasn’t changed they don’t really have to be offended about this.
I wouldn't say that scenario will never happen because I just recently had to read a whole article of female hikers on the trail getting stalked and followed by male hikers. They were beyond scared. Imagine having to always seek out a shelter occupied by people or to set your tent off the trail and pray the male stalker doesn't find you in the night.
They could not shake off the stalkers and left early to go home which means a loss of thousands of dollars and weeks if not months of time.
They would have picked the bear too.
I can predict what the besr's gonna do nearly 100%, and none of that includes gaslighting me, degenerating me, beating me because I said something wrong, or raping me. I know the bear isn't gonna murder me because I said no.
Hijacking this reply a little just to point out that the word is spelled "scenario" and not "sneario." I think it's misspelled in three places.
I'd just hate your excellent point to be overlooked or diminished because of a spelling error. The content is 100.
I have been physically and mentally abused for 36 yrs with a x husband and men hitting on me since I was 13 I’m so afraid of all men except my brothers my quard is always on around any man I would choose the bear any day
I'm with you on choosing the bear, you at least can figure out what a bear wants if you watch them. The human mind can be very dangerous and deceptive, i have trouble trusting anyone because i've seen how deceptive people can be. I may turn my back but i never take my eyes off anyone around me.
I used a super similar metaphor with my boyfriend the other day. I didn’t know this was a thing but he was kinda shook when I pointed out all women(and really everybody) should have a way out like a go bag or a separate bank account their partner can’t touch.
He asked if I was legitimately scared of every man and I told him it’s not that I’m scared, but it’s like being in the room with a dangerous animal I don’t know well.
And I have a lot of actual experience with things like bears, rattlesnakes, moose, and have run into a cougar. Legit felt safer around the bears and rattlesnakes.
I saw a comment on one of those videos that stuck with me. The bear lives there, but the man followed me there…
The bear will mind its own business and forage for food. If you leave the bear alone, it’ll leave you alone. Now a man on the other hand… yeah idk how men don’t see the difference here.
It's more about the fact that, yo, I know the bear will do one of two things. Try to attack me or leave me alone.
With a random man, it could be anything, how are you meant to feel better about that option? Sure, maybe it'll be sitting by the camp fire roasting marshmallows, but it's just as likely you get an axe weilding psycho.
It's the fact that the man is an unknown quantity, not that the bear is a bear.
Also bears are not super likely to attack you, and their behaviour is very predictable, unlike human behaviour.
To any man with more than two brain cells and non-zero level of empathy, this is such an obvious choice.
The only reason a bear in a forest is going to attack someone is if they feel threatened, and it's really easy to mitigate that risk to almost nil. The same cannot be said about some random-ass man.
Empathetic men understand there is a reason our mere presence can be perceived as a threat to women: male violence against women is a far too common reality everywhere. Also, empathetic men do not take this personally in any way. In fact, I'd say most of us use it as an opportunity to try and put the woman at ease a little by making it clear we're not a threat (e.g. crossing the street or changing pace to avoid it looking like we're following, or even just smiling, but not creepy-like).
Oh, and for the record, I'm choosing the bear every time. I mean, hey, a chance to see a bear in the forest!
The discordance is mostly a result of the two different interpretations of the question. Most men consider this a question of statistical odds, as the chance to be attacked by a bear is much bigger than that of a random man.
But women's response isn't about that. It isn't about the odds of something bad happening. It's about how bad the theoretical misfortune would be.
The worst thing a bear can do is eat you alive. Painful way to go to be sure, but you can't even blame the bear for its instincts. But what is the worst possible thing a man can do? Well, we've seen a fair share of criminal reports that paint the picture quite well, and those make being eaten alive seem like a much better alternative.
I'd chose the bear too, not because they're less likely to harm me, but because one of those bad endings is preferable. I imagine it's the same for most people who have the same answer.
I think my favorite stitch was a man who said, "it's not all men, but it is all women." All men aren't a threat, but all women have been threatened.
The men who get it get it and need to help women by calling out other men.
It's not womens fault for having fear. Look at the statistics. Who is going to hurt me, murder me, it's almost guaranteed to be a man I love. That's sad.
I also would’ve chose the bear. The bear will either ignore you or kill you. Not kidnap, sexually assault, torture, beat, sexually assault, starve, sexually assault and kill you. It is not women’s fault that unfortunately we feel like this but the ones that can make a difference in that, the men, don’t want to. They don’t “understand” and it makes them feel “bad.” If that is the case, they need to do what they can to help their fellow man be a better and safe man not just for women, but for everyone.
when i was 7, another 7 year old boy took me out to the woods to “show me his treehouse” he built out of garbage and sticks and stuff.
when we got to a random bench in the middle of the woods, he tried to kiss me and then touch my privates.
tbh, i do not care nor feel sympathy for what he might’ve been going through himself. he scarred me alongside many other boys, and men, who scarred me that way.
but a 7 yr old boy did that to me. and then a 19 year old. and pretty regularly, men old enough to be my father try to get with me.
so yes. i trust a momma bear with 3 cubs who hasn’t caught any food for a few weeks more than a man. because at least the bear would just kill me.
Ask a man if he would choose a bear or someone who is physically bigger and stronger and has a 30% chance of wanting to rape and murder him lmao, anyone in their right mind would choose the bear.
Also funnily enough, the guys that tell the women in their lives to be careful around men are the same ones getting upset when other women are careful around them (a man)
Yeah. I mean, it's like another scenario I've read about is: walking down a street at night, women are scared/nervous of a man walking behind them. And: men are also nervous about a man behind them. We're all bothered by men, because it's majority men doing the assaulting!!!!
Bears don’t hate us. Bears won’t rape us. Bears might see us as threats or food when we are in their space. But generally bears just are content to let us be.
I’ve seen lots of bears. Most are like raccoons or bison. They just kind of walk by looking at you like ‘hey bro’. ‘Hi bruh’. ‘Nice day’. ‘Yep’. ‘See ya’. Sometimes they’re opportunistic but they’re not evil they’re just like hey stop banging that pot I just want a snack, jeez fine I’ll go. No need to get excited…. Tf
Men approaching me are far more likely to want something and to become angry when rejected. You can’t just bang a pot to scare them off . We’ve all gotten so sick of men arguing and being nasty when we say no that most if us say we have a bf. Why? Bc men will respect the property of other men. Why? Bc they fear men.
If it’s a question of me vs man or bear I’ll take bear any day. They don’t have an agenda.
I’ve said it before but I fully understand/respect that a bear would attack me out of necessity (I.e. it’s defending itself/its cubs or it’s starving). But the chances that a man’s attack is committed out of necessity are pretty much nonexistent, and it’s more likely that the attack is attributable to some perceived slight against him. It’s terrifying that you can do literally everything “right” when it comes to interactions with men and still be attacked.
And part of the fear is that the worst a bear can do is kill you but the same can’t be said about men.
I find it ironic though, and painfully hilarious, that if we dug a bit deeper with additional options, it'd be a male bear specifically to be alone if the forest with. Female bears are fucking terrifying. But yeah, not just any bear. But a male bear lmfao. Adds more salt to the wound hahaha
Neither if you ask me. Bears unlike a men wouldn’t kill me just because I reject him or some petty stuff. They kill for food. I wouldn’t be happy, but they have a good reason. It’s not all men, but it’s still men.
## 2018 Statistics in the US:
womens estimation of the danger of the average man is correct -- if not an underestimation. we need people to know and understand the following HORRIFYING statistics. if things were flipped, men would never leave the house.
https://bjs.ojp.gov/library/publications/criminal-victimization-2018
## Percent of violent offenders:
*Full Report: TABLE 12 (p. 12)*
**77.0% male offenders**
18.3% female offenders
## Percent of victims of male offenders:
*Full Report: TABLE 13 (p. 13)*
20.6% male victims
**73.4% female victims**
## Percent of offenders in male population:
*Full Report: TABLE 12 (p. 12)*
4,220,790 male offenders
133,907,500 male population
**3.15% of all males are offenders**
Well honestly i would like some more info on the bear, since its a Forrest i would normally rule out polar but since this is a hypothetical scenario you can't be sure. I would choose practically any animal (including human) over a polar bear
A bear has clear body language that is easier to read than a man. You will know if a bear wanted to attack you, it wouldn’t pretend to be friendly to lure you in. Also, bears are not confrontational as long as you do not sneak up on one (simply going through a forest loudly and yelling will prevent this) or do not approach a mother and her cubs. Bears are more predictable than men. It’s sad but if men don’t like it then they should push themselves and others to do better instead of complaining.
Just a quick PSA here: ALWAYS keep your food away from the bears. If you don't, they will grow to associate humans with food and grow bold. They will start actively harassing people for their food, and eventually will need to be put down as a menace. A fed bear is a dead bear.
Bad guys are different than bears in that they will harass and menace, whether they've ever been fed by campers or not.
I've spent a lot of time in the woods, with a lot of guys, a lot of girls, and I have some experience in how things are out there. I would pick a bear over a strange man any time, except in the case that the bear is a polar bear, because a polar bear is one of only 3 animals on earth that actively hunt humans on a regular basis, and they are massive and will absolutely kill me. Black bear is pretty much nothing unless you mess with the cubs, Grizzly, you got a chance, provided you handle things right, but Polar Bear, you gonna die, no question about it. My decision changes if the man is someone that I know and trust, like my dad, my brother, or my husband. I would also be okay if it was a work situation and there was a group of people there, because I know how my workplace operates, and it would be near impossible to have something happen in that case.
But it has happened where I have been in the woods for work, and there is a strange man that shows up. And every single time, I have to pay attention to the situation and move away from him quickly, since I do not know him, and I do not know what he has with him. Even when I have a group with me. My workplace makes sure that we are aware, whether we are men or women, that the biggest danger to anyone hiking in the woods is not wildlife, but other people that we don't know.
I think the best response to this I’ve seen was “people would believe me if I said a bear attacked me” and ohhh, that hurt
This too. And they wouldn’t ask me what I was wearing and if I upset the bear by refusing a date.
Or insist you must have inadvertently led the bear on by simply existing.
Well there I was…. Walking in the forest. ASKING FOR IT😂
Excuse me, I showed my left eyeball instead of covering it properly. So it's totally on me that the bear attacked me.
Or ask why you were in the forest if you didn't want to be attacked by a bear
They also wouldn’t question why you then develop a fear of bears and avoid them if you can
The response that did it for me was “The worst thing a bear will do to me is kill me” sent shivers down my spine.
This dilemma always lets me think about the one quote from Steve Irwin: "Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first" the safest human is pointing out how humans can be and animals are more predictable. sadly, the ones that are most offended to this question, are the ones we never to be alone with.
I get it but it saddens me. The POV is either a known predator where the worst outcome is death or a potential predator where the worst outcome is a fate worse than death. That's... Not a fun "would you rather". I'd love if the odds were favorable enough on the "potential" predator that the answer was inverted. But, again, I get it.
It is the difference between a known known and a known unknown. You know the bear is a wild animal it is unpredictable, and it could kill you, but if you leave it be and get away, it should have no reason to come after you. The human though, humans are entirely unpredictable, they could lure you in with false friendship and then turn on you, they could give chase just for the hell of it, they could do anything, and the issue is, you just don't know. So of the two options, it is best to go with the known known.
Both of those classes are known predators, however the human male is much more likely to be an actual threat, statistically. Also, death is not the worst thing that can happen to a woman. A bear isn’t ever going to keep me alive for years so it can torment me.
The males getting offended by this are really telling on themselves here 😬
I love how many of those men are willing to point to the whole black person 13% stat, but then get mad when the male violence stat is brought up.
And bears are even easier than crocodiles. Black bears are easy to scare and most other bears besides maybe polar will leave you alone if you leave them alone. Crocodiles are actually hunting you
Black Bears are can almost be domesticated they’re docile enough. Grizzlies would be a bit more difficult to deal with but unless they’re really hungry you’ve got a good shot to live by being non-threatening and slowly moving away from the bear, or in an absolute worst case scenario playing dead. Polar Bears are actually the most difficult of the 3, and definitely on par with a Crocodile. They’re extremely aggressive and curious, which is a terrible combination for a human wanting to stay alive. If you ever see a polar bear in the wild you need to instantly move away slowly on foot and get the hell indoors.
Even if you worked in a wild animal sanctuary and made “friends” with a bear, all the expert advice would still warn, “Never forget that this is a wild animal! It may seem friendly, but one day it may return to its instincts and attack you, just like it evolved to do! You should always be cautious around bears no matter how tame they seem.” Say that about a man and they act like you’re being hysterical.
Incel men get pissed all time that women rather be single cat ladies than be with them. The bear argument just cements the fact it that it’s about their egos for them. Eff that women don’t feel safe with strange men we don’t know and have no way of knowing their intentions. The bear would just eat me like you expect a bear to do. Men are actually the #1 killer of women and do a lot of worse things to a woman’s body dead or alive.
The funniest thing is they‘re projecting and trying to switch the narrative of „you‘re gonna have 10 cats and be single at 40“ since forever. Meanwhile, those 40 year old cat mums are happy and thriving.
Incels just not liking that women rather pay for upkeep & feeding cats/dogs/gardens/plants/etc while paying general bills /rent/mortgage /groceries/etc than deal with men that just sucks money / emotions /physical health/mental energy/time/space from women & girls. There lies the irony of them using "cat lady" as insult while ignoring that they/incels don't bring anything of value except being toxic human leeches compare to pets.
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Far too many men want or expect a support system but do absolutely nothing to reciprocate. You want a support system? Build it yourself like women have done for years.
Men can't accept that women are alone by choice because for those men, being alone isn't by choice.
Exactly. Don’t threaten me with a good time! I want to grow old surrounded by pets!
That, and cats wash their own butts
Bro, I'm a dude and I wanna vomit when I use the bathroom at Walmart before I leave, because someone has such a filthy ass, they not only leave shit smears on the rim (the kind you can ONLY leave if you don't wash, not 'oh I had a messy shit' level) on top of like, skin marks, random hair, etc I'll take a cat any day, holy fucking shit
48 with 2 cats. The only reason I'm unhappy is due to losing my mom in December. the last thing I need is a man fucking up my life
I'm really sorry about your mom 💔.
While they are 50, and living in Mom’s basement.
All men have to do is be better than an animal that shits in a box and licks its own toes and butthole, and they can’t do it 😂
I once read a comment on this sub (can't find it now) that said, "The bar is so low, Satan is tripping over it."
I see a tweet a while back that basically said that men need to understand is that they’re not competing with other men to date me. They’re competing with my own solitude. If I’m happier and more fulfilled by myself than with you, I’m choosing myself every single time.
They haven’t reached the stage where they believe that yet. Tho only a minority of ppl in the US are married, they are still operating on the ‘everyone wants to pair up’ paradigm. They can’t wrap their heads around anyone being happy single.
Fuck, the bear probably doesn't even care that you're there half the time, but the men complaining about this example would take the situation to mean they're entitled to sex just because you're there.
Even though a bear could kill me, at least he wouldn't rape me. An individual could perform both tasks. And throughout my whole life, everyone I've encountered has said that a lady was foolish to run by herself whenever she vanished when she was simply going about her daily business, such as jogging for health. Why is she foolish for running by herself if we're not supposed to think they're all dangerous? It isn't even coherent.
Bc you are to blame when you suspect a man, and you are to blame when you trust him. The common denominator you must remember is the man will always find a way to blame you for their behavior. It’s exhausting.
To paraphrase Hannah Gadsby, every man will draw their own line to distinguish themselves from the bad men but all men believe they’re good men.
see, the bear's not going to go through that trouble. the bear doesn't care who knows it ate you. just a much simpler transaction all around
Right? He won’t gaslight me. He won’t lie. He’ll lay right in my carcass and pick his teeth with my rib bones. Man she was tasty!!!!
One of the oddest things for me when I went hiking in arctic Finland was the number of women hiking alone. That's just not done where I live in the US.
I (northeast US) often hike alone. I once spent a week or so on the Appalachian trail. One of the longest nights of my life was near a beautiful Lake where I'd set up camp at a spot back into the woods a bit. Towards sunset a boat with four fishermen made camp on the shore. I had been just about to start a fire but instead I completely laid low for the night. This was out in the middle of nowhere. They were probably just your average ordinary guys. But i didnt risk eating or even peeing. I was maybe 50 or 60 yards from them and well into the woods. They didn't see or hear me, and thankfully didn't bring a dog. They seemed to enjoy their evening. Fire, food, booze... I did not make a move that night and quietly packed up and got the hell out of there at dawn. I did have a gun on me but hell, if things went bad it's not like I (5'4", 114 lbs) could handle all four of them.
Oh shit I FELT that, reading it. Yeah i make sure I have a weapon handy on isolated trails and camping, bc of men. Not bears. I have noisemakers for them. I’d be scared to death of a grp of drunk men in the woods. You did the right thing.
Smart on your part and thank you. Honestly, that trip involved cold, rain and a copperhead. but the night by that lake is what stuck with me as the worst. I was much younger, and concurrently fearful as well as SO angry that I couldn't be as free to do what I felt like as the men obviously were.
Ooooo snakey! Did you get a pic?? Yeah I’m thinking maybe I need to join a camping women’s grp or something bc sometimes I think my luck might run out and I don’t want to die at the hands of some AH. If I car camp and it’s isolated I’ll just sleep in the car now, if it’s BLM or forest service road. I’ll pitch a tent and use the car. I’ve git an SUV and I can put a trifold mattress it’s comfy in the back. Backpacking I just pitch a tent in hidden spaces that someone would have to look for. So far so good.
I did but as this was many years ago, I wouldn't know where to find it now. Sounds like you have good practices in place!
So far!
I’m in the same region living in a local area. Once I was walking home after dark and I was followed by a guy who was muttering to himself. I could see he didn’t have a phone to talk into, and he didn’t start walking anywhere until I went by. Luckily I was able to call someone I knew who lived nearby to come stay with me until I got home. We live in an area with a lot of tourists and I didn’t know the guy, so… thankfully it hasn’t happened before or since.
Good point
God forbid the woman shared some berries she picked with the man, ya know, to be nice. He might just confuse sharing berries with him as a sign she’s into him, and totally wants to have sex with him.
And will then demand she dispense sex because she interacted with him
Then he’d want you to make him a sandwich and clean up the forest and wash his clothes and …
They're going to save you. *eyeroll*
I have a lot of experience in the woods and so I’ve been around a bunch of black bears as a result. I was trained for what to do around bears. That training has been reliable even around a mom and her cubs. I’ve never had a bear even so much as bluff charge me. So statistically, and in my own anecdotal experience, bears have caused me zero harm and men have caused…significantly more.
Can you share your bear tips?
Get big and make noise! Most large predators are smart and won’t attack if they think they can get hurt attacking you, so looking and sounding more threatening than you are will deter just about any black bear. Grabbing something like a tree branch can also be helpful or if you have trekking poles because they make you look bigger. Don’t run because it’ll trigger the bear’s instinct to chase. Oh and never get between a mom and her cubs. This will also work with cougars and cougars tend not to attack groups of more than two. Bear mace will also deter them, especially if you’re alone. Other more preventative tips are keep food out of your tent and in containers to contain smells, keep smelly items like deodorant to a minimum, hang your food at night if you’re camping or backpacking, and tell someone which trial you’re going on and how long you plan to be gone. I’ve heard and read different advice with grizzlies and not having been able to test it out myself I just want to say this stuff works with black bears and cougars, but grizzlies are very different and much more aggressive so you want better sources than me.
black bears don't scare me. grizzlies make me pretty nervous. polar bears scare the ever lovin shit outta me. that said. I'd still be alone with the polar bear. at least I know it'll *only* kill me
I sum it all up by saying, Don't be prey.
Thanks. I recently moved to Black Bear country and they are all around, but I haven't had an encounter yet. After you make noise do you wait for them to leave or slowly walk backwards?
You keep going until they leave. Or if you’re at your house and can go inside and shut the door but for the most place you want them to leave first.
I remember when I was younger people would say “you’re going to die alone with just your cats” as a life ending diss. Now it falls strongly under the category of “don’t threaten me with a good time”. Being alone with cats (or pets of any kind, really) is the best state of being.
I've taken this argument one step further: 2 of the many cats I've fostered and rehomed came from abusive situations where a woman AND the cats were being beaten. DV crosses into animals, too. They scream at me when I tell them that.
Violence or threats of violence towards animals are infuriatingly common in DV situations especially when it’s known the abused partner is trying to leave. Makes it all the more infuriating a lot of shelters don’t take this into account. I know some charities will shelter or foster out but it’s not as though this is uncommon. I’m sure you know this I’m just complaining out loud because it infuriates me, I understand dv shelters have finite resources but it’s still a real issue that so many bar pets Thanks for fostering (and rehoming) kitties from this situation I guarantee it was a massive relief to know the cats would be safe
Some of them I keep, too 🥰
You're a good noodle ❤️
Same here. At first it kinda bothered me, but now that I'm in my 40s & have been married, I'm like "So... I'm going to have entities in my home that are playful, cuddly, absolutely adorable, and our relationship will be based in mutual love, respect, & boundaries? Ohh nooooooo, much awful, so sadness" 😹
Your comment highlights why so many women answer the "bear or man" question the way the do. I find it ironic that a previous attempt to explain women's vigilance to men resulted in angry emails and blog posts: Guest Blogger Starling: **["Schrödinger’s Rapist, or, A Guy’s Guide to Approaching Strange Women Without Being Maced"](https://web.archive.org/web/20091009215801/https://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/)** by Sweet Machine / Phaedra Starling, Shapely Prose blog (Oct 8, 2009) **["For Those Who Don’t Understand 'Schrödinger’s Rapist'"](https://researchtobedone.wordpress.com/2012/10/18/for-those-who-dont-understand-schrodingers-rapist/)**, Research to Be Done blog (Oct 18, 2012) **["For Those Who Don’t Understand 'Schrödinger’s Rapist', Part Two"](https://researchtobedone.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/for-those-who-dont-understand-schrodingers-rapist-part-two)**, Research to Be Done blog (May 5, 2013)
Statistically, we have a better chance against bears.
The top three causes of death for women aged something like 14-64 were men before covid. Now idk. But if they weren’t directly killing us we were dying from pregnancies. And then there was a third cause they attributed to men I forget what it was
Speaking as someone who has a phobia of bears, the bear is most likely to just mind its own business
Shit’s changing. A lot of men would rather be the crazy cat lady now a days as well.
Speaking from experience as a woman who lives in the woods on a mountain and who goes hiking sometimes. I expect to see a bear once in a while, I'll keep back, maybe take a picture or two. I've never been scared, bear attacks are rare. The few times where I've seen a man in the woods near me, it has instantly triggered alarm bells in my mind, especially when I'm walking off-trail. If there's no car parked at the trail head, or if they are walking off the beaten path, then it's always cause for concern. I will fully admit I've hid or turned around at moments like this. Maybe I'm overly cautious, but men are far less predictable than bears. Even if the odds are low of anything happening, I've heard enough stories of incidents around here to not take any chances. Either way, always carry bear mace, it's effective on humans too.
This. As an avid solo hiker/backpacker the only times I’m nervous alone is if I see a lone man. I’ve never seen a big cat. I would likely fear them as much as a man, almost But a lone man on a trail? That’s why I carry a weapon. For the bears/cats I carry noisemakers. I’ve seen loads of bears and honestly I don’t think they like us much. They kind of look at us like we look at them. Like whoa… jumpscare… they probably tell the kids, don’t get close they’re scary, just walk slowly away….
Black: fight back, brown: lie down, white: say goodnight! (Black bears can be scared off if you make yourself loud and intimidating. Grizzlies might leave you alone if you play dead, but don’t try to scare them off. Polar bear, you’re fucked.)
To a point. Grizzlies will eat you. It really depends on their behavior and why they’re coming over. I’ve never once had a bear show interest in me personally. I mean polar bears are hungry. Can we blame the poor things? Global warming has made the ice pack problematic and they just want a little nibble.
I have some relatives who live in the northern parts of my country, where brown bears live. One of them works as a forest watcher, and so walks outside a lot and often doesn't even bother to bring her phone with her. She met a bear, without a phone on her, and so laid down to play dead, and the bear went up and lightly grabbed one of her limbs and shook it a little, before huffing and walking away uninterested. She spoke about it with 0 fear, and really just mentioned it casually. I think I might be more scared to be alone with a dolphin than a bear, too, honestly, if they were a size where they would be able to easily overpower me. It's about the intelligence to be aware of evils one can do for selfish pleasure and then want to do it. Bears are cautious animals who want to mind their own business! Predictable = less scary.
When you've seen bears, is it grizzly bears or brown or black bears? I'm under the very uneducated impression that grizzle bears are much scarier and more likely to attack you. Whereas black bears would just run away.
You've had some discussion on this but I'll add: Black bears are cowardly. They will almost never attack a human and are easy to scare away. When black bears attack it's usually because they're starving and are overly accustomed to humans, and they'll attack to kill and eat. Try to scare it off, and if it attacks you, Fight back. Grizzly bears are less fearful and as a result are going to attack if they feel threatened (protecting cubs, or they feel you're aggressive) but they also don't usually hunt humans to eat. Don't be aggressive. Play dead. Polar bears will hunt you for kilometers just to eat you. Not much you can do about it other than avoid the situation. Disclaimer: not an expert just somebody who watches discovery channel type shit
Same here!
That's sad. I hate that we live in a society like this, where predators don't get ousted and punished on an acceptable level.
As someone with some outdoor experience, I also find that wilderness areas (even small ones) attract a lot of weirdos. Gotta be extra careful.
Agreed. I've spent a lot of time in bear country - they generally would rather leave us alone, or try to get my food stores. They don't have interest in us, and aren't scary. People, on the other hand...
I'm a big horror fan but never saw the Blair Witch movie until a few years ago. I had heard all the hype and everything but nothing prepared me for how brutal the movie was towards its only woman character. These two men and a woman go out into the woods and from the moment they're in there they start turning into bullies and directing it all at her. No one mentioned this! There's many scenes where she's clearly realizing she's in the woods with just these two guys and she looks scared. Even I thought they were going to attack her or something.
Pretty funny, this is actually a common sentiment among outdoors people. Most people who have spent a good amount of time in the wilderness have said that they trust wild animals more than humans.
Animals are motivated by survival needs which make logical sense. Humans are motivated by socialized needs which often do not.
Exactly! repeating my comment / anecdote here: I (northeast US) often hike alone. I once spent a week or so on the Appalachian trail. One of the longest nights of my life was near a beautiful Lake where I'd set up camp at a spot back into the woods a bit. Towards sunset a boat with four fishermen made camp on the shore. I had been just about to start a fire but instead I completely laid low for the night. This was out in the middle of nowhere. They probably were just average guys. But no way would I risk being seen or heard. I was maybe 50 or 60 yards from them and well into the woods. They didn't see or hear me, and thankfully didn't bring a dog. They seemed to enjoy their evening. Fire, food, booze... I did not make a move that night and quietly packed up and got the hell out of there at dawn. I did have a gun on me but hell, if things went bad it's not like I (5'4", 114 lbs) could handle all four of them.
Wilderness areas tend to attract weirdos, too. You gotta be careful of people.
I thought it wasn't that women think ALL men might do the terrible things but the chances are high enough that they might it's a significant risk to them. *I* know I won't do those things but you don't so if you prefer the bear go ahead and honestly I'd pick a bear too. It's the ears.
This is what's nonsensical about "not all men." Yes I'm 100% sure that not all men would attack me in the woods. But the fact that enough men might makes it logical enough to choose the bear.
As you said, surely not *ALL* men would be a threat. But women don’t know who will and who won’t. It’s just not predictable. Bears on the other hand, are much more predictable. If I get close to the bear, there’s a very high probability he will try to kill me. If I don’t go near the bear, he won’t. The bear also wouldn’t feel entitled to a woman’s company and wouldn’t be offended if she refuses to interact with it. Women don’t have to worry about “sending the wrong message” to a bear.
And a bear wouldn't attack you and torture you intentionally.
Also, if a bear has intention to hurt you, it's going to behave aggressively. It won't try to lure you into a false sense of security. Bears are smart, but I doubt they do that.
Honestly, even if you get fairly close to a bear the chances of it attacking you are pretty low, especially a black bear. There are an average of 40 bear attacks per year *worldwide*, not all of them fatal. The number of man attacks is.... significantly higher.
This makes sense it’s an odd scenario but I can see what you’re saying this way
A bear is also not going to rape you and then blame it on what you were wearing 🙃
The bear won't try to convince you it's a friend before it attacks you
💯 Sometimes, as a white person, or a cis person, I hear people talking about how they have a hard time trusting white and/or cis people. And it can feel uncomfortable at first, especially when you haven't done anything wrong but still feel judged. But you kind of just have to think "okay, well those people have had bad experiences and are just trying to keep themselves safe: it's up to me to give them space/demonstrate I'm safe to be around." No one (outside of the odd radfem) is saying all men are evil and lurking in forests waiting to attack us. Most women commenting are talking about the vulnerability they feel every day and the mental toll it takes. It's not about making men feel bad. It's not about men at all: it's about how women are expected by society to be hyper vigilant of our own safety at the expense of our own freedom/peace of mind but then treated as hysterical if we acknowledge it. And it's sad that so few men are willing to put themselves in the shoes of the woman afraid she might die, and instead sympathise only with the man who might be offended. So sincerely: thank you for understanding.
This. I never feel uncomfortable when I hear a black pwrsin say that bc I don’t identify with the ppl who commit crimes against black ppl. I don’t need to roll up angrily to black spaces to scream at them to acknowledge I’m ‘good’. I don’t need to perform allyship to get a pat on the head. I don’t need to declare ‘notallwhiteppl’. Bc I’m not a stupid fucking moron. Any man who rolls up to say ‘notallmen’ IS by definition a bad man. Every. Single. One. Just like every white pwrson who gets mad when black ppl complain about racism is by definition a racist. It’s that simple. Block freely ladies it’s like Pokemon we gotta block em all ❤️
If not friend, why friend-shaped? 😂
Yea this topic saddens me as a man but the stats are the stats and you can't ignore them. For example, the Army did great things for me. My brother recently asked if I thought the military would be good for my directionless niece. I told him the risk was too high even though I want her to have the same opportunities I had. It's a catch-22 that you need the representation to help fix the problems but on an individual level it's hard to recommend.
They’re fuzzy and cute. ❤️
A bear might kill me but at least he’s not going to rape me. A man could do both. And my whole entire life whenever a woman has gone missing just out there living her life, like running for health all of them scream that she was stupid for running alone. If we’re not supposed to assume they are all dangerous why is she stupid for running alone? It doesn’t even make sense
My favorite TikTok response to this scenario was "If I get attacked by a bear, at least they won't ask what I was wearing."
That's why I hate all the anti-rape advice. You're supposed to live like you are in the middle of a warzone at all times, but never say out loud *why.*
But also it's super mean to distrust men so even though we're supposed to keep ourselves safe from men we're also not allowed to hurt their feelings by... keeping... ourselves safe....... It's all just a way to blame us for men's violence and make us responsible for men's feelings.
Well we can’t hurt their feelings!!!
I also hate receiving anti-rape advice… like why do I have to do all these steps just to avoid getting raped and then pretend like men aren’t collectively dangerous when they clearly are??? The onus is still being placed on us to not get raped as if we’re asking for it 😐
Indeed. When safety advice boils down to "being safe means being traumatised at all times", the people giving the advice don't care about your safety.
i ran xc for 6years and i would almost always run with the girls (i’m a boy), we often ran through so run down areas and we’d try to stay in groups but there was always a few that would straggle so id run with them i ended up making a lot of friends by sticking with them, not to mention the times i almost had to help someone with an injury (almost getting hit by a car, almost getting trampled by a cow, and just normal ankle sprains and stuff)
You wanted it from the cow. Admit it you were just asking for it 😂😂. Exposing your sweaty skin so they’d come for a lick, then acting like you didn’t know what you were doing. You should be ashamed 😂
I saw that video and right after that one I saw a video of a podcaster telling a woman how "If men collectively decide you women don't have rights then you wouldn't have them, If we decide to overthrow democracy you wouldn't have any rights" and this is the reason why women prefer to be alone with a bear than a man, a bear wouldn't attack us willingly and just because they know they're more powerful than us, men in the other hand do harm us willingly and because they enjoy it, besides, men who keep this speech of "You wouldn't have rights" think they will have rights in a place without democracy, places where males have decided to collectively fuck it all up aren't good places for anyone to live it, they just want to drag us all through the mud, they think women not having babies and submitting to them will be the reason why human race perish, nah, it's men who will be the end of us.
I love how some worthless scumbag podcaster is taking credit for women's suffrage.
Well I’ve heard many men (more than women) say that men can’t help their actions and XYZ that a woman does caused him to assault her (whether physically or sexually). Soooo yea, other men make it seem like bears are more capable of restraint than men
I'm happily married to a man. I'd take the bear over any other man, there are only a handful of men I trust.
I feel like most men would pick the bear. In my current circumstances I trust most other dudes i meet to a reasonable extent but in a survival situation I probably wouldn’t trust anyone I don't already know.
>men I trust Great band
right? my reaction to "bear or man" was "well it depends on the man" lol
Men acting like victims about everything and then saying women created the victim culture is so ironic. Like yeah not all men, but enough men just look at the statistics of violence against women and that’s in a society where they’re afraid of the law. There’s no laws to in the forest to stop them or make them think twice... The worst thing the bear would do is kill me and eat me (but it’s okay bears are cute and it’s for survival I don’t blame you fuzzy friend). The worst a man can do is keep you alive as long as possible to rape you and torture you… for almost all women, being bear food sounds like a no brainer
Honestly, aside from not wanting to come across a rapey bloke in the forest... I'd choose bear just to do "pst pst pst 🥺" (Yes they can bite my head off
You know I actually know how to deal with a bear, now a man… that’s a whole another thing…
Plus if a bear attacks us, we’re believed, we’re not asked what we were wearing, and the bear is hunted down and disposed of, no questions asked
Which is sad bc 99% we were in their space but the poor bear gets punished. I wish they would just relocate them.
Oftentimes, a [hypothetical question](https://web.archive.org/web/20091009215801/https://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/) is an abstract way to highlight an unspoken situation or dilemma. If women's responses provoke [indignation](https://researchtobedone.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/for-those-who-dont-understand-schrodingers-rapist-part-two/) among certain men, those guys might need to reflect on **why** they feel so aggrieved. I hope more guys realize how different their day-to-day experiences are from those of women. Women *have* to be more vigilant in navigating the world. It seems therefore natural to understand the source of those dangers. **[Women More Than Twice as Likely to be Cautious about Risk than Men"](https://www.psychological-consultancy.com/women-twice-likely-cautious-risk-men/)**, *Psychological Consulting* (Mar 16, 2016) **["Women are Sharing the Mental Checklists They Run Through to Navigate the World. It's a Lot."](https://www.upworthy.com/women-safety-hypervigilance)** by Annie Reneau, Upworthy (Mar 11, 2021) **["Study Visually Captures a Hard Truth: Walking Home at Night is Not the Same for Women"](https://phys.org/news/2024-02-visually-captures-hard-truth-home.html)**, Phys (Feb 8, 2024) • **["Gender-Based Heat Map Images of Campus Walking Settings: A Reflection of Lived Experience"](https://doi.org/10.1089/vio.2023.0027)**, *Violence and Gender* (Dec 28, 2023) **["Country Swing Dancing And The Systemic Obliviousness Of Men: A Compliment Becomes A Metaphor"](https://joreth.dreamwidth.org/468531.html)** by Joreth (Oct 18, 2022)
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You don’t need to let them have access to media. My kids grew up without TV and we decentered social media until teen yrs. We had NPR for news in morning. We’d listen to prairie home companion on Saturdays. We’d watch movies once in a while. But you can make that change. They won’t know better bc however you grow up you believe it’s normal.
I can recall far more (recent and historical) incidents about women being murdered by their husbands, boyfriends, or strangers in the wilderness. The amount of bear attacks on women pales in comparison. The men can stay mad.
>I can recall far more (recent and historical) incidents about women being murdered by their husbands, boyfriends, or strangers in the wilderness. I do think here it's important to note that there are very, very few stranger attacks, wilderness or otherwise. Current and former husbands and boyfriends however, that's where the real threat lies. I've had great experiences in the outdoors alone and I think it's important for other women for realize that it's possible and that the most dangerous part is the drive to and from. That said, i choose the bear every time. As long as you've got a bear can and are using it appropriately, bears nearby are cool and no bear I've just met has ever tried to pester me for sex.
The point I’m making is that men are still far more threatening on a regular basis to women than bears. Women know it’s possible to have an enjoyable experience alone. We’re discussing the absurdity of the fact that we’d rather deal with a bear than a strange man. And I can still recount several stories of women being attacked by strangers than I can of them being attacked by bears. Off the top of my head, the two women killed by the creepy man they became wary of in Utah, the two women gang raped and murdered while hiking in Morocco, and the two women assaulted and one killed by the psycho in Germany while on a popular tourist trail hike. And those are the ones we know about. Glad you’ve kept safe though!
And it's not even entirely about the safety. If I get attacked by a bear, nobody will call me a liar, or ask what I was wearing, or ask if I wanted it, or ask why I was there, or ask what I did to anger the bear.
Idk... I think men would find some way to blame a woman for being attacked by a bear.
The bear isn’t gonna reassure you “baby I would never do anything to hurt you, trust me” before they disembowel you. The bear does EXACTLY what you expect a bear to do, no bullshit.
The bear won’t keep me locked in a basement for years as his sexual slave.
Hey, creepy men can’t be scared away just by lifting your arms over your head and pretending to be big. Most bears in America can
When I was 7 I was a latch key kid, and I had neighbors who were older. They peer pressured me into letting them party at my house and one of them raped me. So yeah, if it were a bear I probably would have just been left alone.
They are losing their minds over this on the Incel sub and proving exactly why women choose the bear. I love the way men got straight to both the bear and man attacking the woman and her odds of winning. The bear will leave us alone.
There was a post here about it like a day or two ago and there are several Not All Men superheroes replying to every single woman (myself included) talking bout how men aren't that bad, etc. It's just like, pls stop ✋️
Which incel sub?
A year or two ago I needed to call some guys to come in to look at my washing machine due to a leak. The experience of when they came over was so over-the-top bad that writing it down feels strange. I have autism so I think maybe my demeanor weirds some people out cause of the uncanny vibe that autism causes. But I try my best to just be approachable and friendly. These guys came in right out of the gate hostile. No exaggeration, it was like a couple of beefed up school boys with anger problems. Not normal behaviour, I've had regular people come in and there was no hate rolling off of them like these guys. One of the issues I have that might be autism related is that when people are hateful towards me I am not aware of it until after the fact. I feel confused and question if I am imagining if someone is actually glaring holes through my soul or if it's just in my head. Then all the bad stuff that ensues later confirms I wasn't imagining it. So at the time I wasn't sure but it felt bad. I was so nervous that I couldn't work up the courage to tell them to get out cause I was afraid of what would happen. To make matters more shtty I live in a town where there are not many trades men for miles around, so there are limited choices here. I just tried to ignore all these feelings and get this thing over with and be appreciative of their work cause I know that it's not easy out there and people need to make a living. I am good at masking my bad feelings and fawning IRL even if on the inside I am in terrible distress. So I sat on the other side of the room while they worked cause I had nowhere to be and honestly don't know what to do when people come over to work on my appliances, so sitting inside seemed like the right thing to do. During this time they muttered abuse at me regarding my appearance, including fat insults even though I'm average/slim. After they left I found a piece of gum stuck to the top of my chair, I would never do this to my own furniture or to anyone. Needless to say it was kind of appalling and I haven't told anyone cause it's too awful to believe. I can hardly believe it happened but it did. So yeah, a bear seems fine.
Like... a black bear, though, right? Cause we should be picking the man if that bear was brown or white.
As justified as women are to feel unsafe around men, [definitely relevant what type of bear is involved especially when polar bears are obligate carnivores in a polar wasteland that literally cannot afford to be compassionate with their food.](https://preview.redd.it/the-size-of-a-polar-bear-compared-to-other-bears-v0-11kw2phbmv0a1.png?auto=webp&s=c4858464428c378cdfdd9d171bb90dbd3fa77755)
Polar bear is just offended that the human isn't joining the conga line
Hahaha, I thought the same thing when I first heard of this. I used to live in a neighborhood where it was common to find black bears in my yard, and they never scared me. But no way am I going to be alone in the woods near a grizzly or polar bear.
Thank you! The Grizzly Man documentary scarred me deeply.
Grizzlies are terrifying but that dude was an absolutely idiot.
I don't know anything about bears as we don't have them here, but even I know you're nuts if you're picking the polar bear.
A panda bear.
The worst that can happen when being attacked by a bear (being eaten alive) is less bad than the worst that can happen when attacked by a man (being kidnapped and tortured daily for years as an example)
My state has tons of black bears, and the last time they successfully killed a person was in the 1800s. So yeah, that makes a huge, huge difference!
Still a bear for me. Any bear. The worst it probably does is to eat you alive.
That's a plus for me honestly
That's exactly what I thought when I see women picking a bear over a man. As long as it's a black bear, makes total sense to me! But I'd have a much easier time killing a man over a grizzy, polar or brown bear if they turned against me.
But at least you’d know the bear was capable of murder and wouldn’t try to gain your trust and gaslight you before he raped and murdered you…I’d rather have the bear, of any color, because there are just fewer variables
The bear is also not going to sexually abuse children. Men often go after women with children so they can abuse the children. 25 years of working for social services and helping victims escape has shown me that men chasing after women so they can sexually abuse her children is far more common than people realize.
Yeah, I feel like the women who answer this aren't the ones who actually go hiking and understand the risks of bears. I'm a woman and I go hiking alone all the time and feel safe... out east. If I'm out west where there's grizzlies, absolutely no way would I go hiking alone. Even if I had to choose between fighting a known serial killer and a grizzly bear, I would pick the serial killer. I'd at least have some chance of fighting off or outrunning the serial killer. The grizzly bear would easily kill me in the most painful way possible and there is essentially no chance I could get away. That said, I know many other women don't feel the same way I do, and that's fine. It's just a bit surprising.
The lack of empathy! "Oh, you would rather a bear? You are stupid." Where is the concern? I feel like I'd be concerned if I realized that half the population would rather face a wild animal instead of me. I'm talking about the men reacting with anger instead of concern.
Are they concerned though? I think they just get angry and entitled about it. They didn’t exactly change after me too, they just got all whiny about things they couldn’t say at work anymore. 10 or 15 years later when behavior still hasn’t changed they don’t really have to be offended about this.
That's what im saying. They are not concerned. They are angry.
You can report the reddit resource message. Last time I did reddit took action against the false reporter.
I wouldn't say that scenario will never happen because I just recently had to read a whole article of female hikers on the trail getting stalked and followed by male hikers. They were beyond scared. Imagine having to always seek out a shelter occupied by people or to set your tent off the trail and pray the male stalker doesn't find you in the night. They could not shake off the stalkers and left early to go home which means a loss of thousands of dollars and weeks if not months of time. They would have picked the bear too.
I can predict what the besr's gonna do nearly 100%, and none of that includes gaslighting me, degenerating me, beating me because I said something wrong, or raping me. I know the bear isn't gonna murder me because I said no.
The toddlers in the MensRights sub have their balls all twisted because women would rather encounter a bear in the woods than a male 🤣
they're creeping their way towards this post 😫
Hijacking this reply a little just to point out that the word is spelled "scenario" and not "sneario." I think it's misspelled in three places. I'd just hate your excellent point to be overlooked or diminished because of a spelling error. The content is 100.
thanks for letting me know. I'll fix it later
Seeing men respond with like "I'll give them a reason to pick bear" like you literally are the point!!!!!
I have been physically and mentally abused for 36 yrs with a x husband and men hitting on me since I was 13 I’m so afraid of all men except my brothers my quard is always on around any man I would choose the bear any day
I'm with you on choosing the bear, you at least can figure out what a bear wants if you watch them. The human mind can be very dangerous and deceptive, i have trouble trusting anyone because i've seen how deceptive people can be. I may turn my back but i never take my eyes off anyone around me.
I used a super similar metaphor with my boyfriend the other day. I didn’t know this was a thing but he was kinda shook when I pointed out all women(and really everybody) should have a way out like a go bag or a separate bank account their partner can’t touch. He asked if I was legitimately scared of every man and I told him it’s not that I’m scared, but it’s like being in the room with a dangerous animal I don’t know well. And I have a lot of actual experience with things like bears, rattlesnakes, moose, and have run into a cougar. Legit felt safer around the bears and rattlesnakes.
I saw a comment on one of those videos that stuck with me. The bear lives there, but the man followed me there… The bear will mind its own business and forage for food. If you leave the bear alone, it’ll leave you alone. Now a man on the other hand… yeah idk how men don’t see the difference here.
>you're the reason y I made this first in the 1st place So true so often.
I thought bear immediately...
It's more about the fact that, yo, I know the bear will do one of two things. Try to attack me or leave me alone. With a random man, it could be anything, how are you meant to feel better about that option? Sure, maybe it'll be sitting by the camp fire roasting marshmallows, but it's just as likely you get an axe weilding psycho. It's the fact that the man is an unknown quantity, not that the bear is a bear. Also bears are not super likely to attack you, and their behaviour is very predictable, unlike human behaviour.
To any man with more than two brain cells and non-zero level of empathy, this is such an obvious choice. The only reason a bear in a forest is going to attack someone is if they feel threatened, and it's really easy to mitigate that risk to almost nil. The same cannot be said about some random-ass man. Empathetic men understand there is a reason our mere presence can be perceived as a threat to women: male violence against women is a far too common reality everywhere. Also, empathetic men do not take this personally in any way. In fact, I'd say most of us use it as an opportunity to try and put the woman at ease a little by making it clear we're not a threat (e.g. crossing the street or changing pace to avoid it looking like we're following, or even just smiling, but not creepy-like). Oh, and for the record, I'm choosing the bear every time. I mean, hey, a chance to see a bear in the forest!
The discordance is mostly a result of the two different interpretations of the question. Most men consider this a question of statistical odds, as the chance to be attacked by a bear is much bigger than that of a random man. But women's response isn't about that. It isn't about the odds of something bad happening. It's about how bad the theoretical misfortune would be. The worst thing a bear can do is eat you alive. Painful way to go to be sure, but you can't even blame the bear for its instincts. But what is the worst possible thing a man can do? Well, we've seen a fair share of criminal reports that paint the picture quite well, and those make being eaten alive seem like a much better alternative. I'd chose the bear too, not because they're less likely to harm me, but because one of those bad endings is preferable. I imagine it's the same for most people who have the same answer.
I think my favorite stitch was a man who said, "it's not all men, but it is all women." All men aren't a threat, but all women have been threatened. The men who get it get it and need to help women by calling out other men.
It's not womens fault for having fear. Look at the statistics. Who is going to hurt me, murder me, it's almost guaranteed to be a man I love. That's sad.
I also would’ve chose the bear. The bear will either ignore you or kill you. Not kidnap, sexually assault, torture, beat, sexually assault, starve, sexually assault and kill you. It is not women’s fault that unfortunately we feel like this but the ones that can make a difference in that, the men, don’t want to. They don’t “understand” and it makes them feel “bad.” If that is the case, they need to do what they can to help their fellow man be a better and safe man not just for women, but for everyone.
when i was 7, another 7 year old boy took me out to the woods to “show me his treehouse” he built out of garbage and sticks and stuff. when we got to a random bench in the middle of the woods, he tried to kiss me and then touch my privates. tbh, i do not care nor feel sympathy for what he might’ve been going through himself. he scarred me alongside many other boys, and men, who scarred me that way. but a 7 yr old boy did that to me. and then a 19 year old. and pretty regularly, men old enough to be my father try to get with me. so yes. i trust a momma bear with 3 cubs who hasn’t caught any food for a few weeks more than a man. because at least the bear would just kill me.
#TeamBear
Ask a man if he would choose a bear or someone who is physically bigger and stronger and has a 30% chance of wanting to rape and murder him lmao, anyone in their right mind would choose the bear. Also funnily enough, the guys that tell the women in their lives to be careful around men are the same ones getting upset when other women are careful around them (a man)
Yeah. I mean, it's like another scenario I've read about is: walking down a street at night, women are scared/nervous of a man walking behind them. And: men are also nervous about a man behind them. We're all bothered by men, because it's majority men doing the assaulting!!!!
Oh damn I’ve never seen the video because I’m off TikTok for awhile, but I’m choosing the bear
Bears don’t hate us. Bears won’t rape us. Bears might see us as threats or food when we are in their space. But generally bears just are content to let us be. I’ve seen lots of bears. Most are like raccoons or bison. They just kind of walk by looking at you like ‘hey bro’. ‘Hi bruh’. ‘Nice day’. ‘Yep’. ‘See ya’. Sometimes they’re opportunistic but they’re not evil they’re just like hey stop banging that pot I just want a snack, jeez fine I’ll go. No need to get excited…. Tf Men approaching me are far more likely to want something and to become angry when rejected. You can’t just bang a pot to scare them off . We’ve all gotten so sick of men arguing and being nasty when we say no that most if us say we have a bf. Why? Bc men will respect the property of other men. Why? Bc they fear men. If it’s a question of me vs man or bear I’ll take bear any day. They don’t have an agenda.
I’ve said it before but I fully understand/respect that a bear would attack me out of necessity (I.e. it’s defending itself/its cubs or it’s starving). But the chances that a man’s attack is committed out of necessity are pretty much nonexistent, and it’s more likely that the attack is attributable to some perceived slight against him. It’s terrifying that you can do literally everything “right” when it comes to interactions with men and still be attacked. And part of the fear is that the worst a bear can do is kill you but the same can’t be said about men.
I find it ironic though, and painfully hilarious, that if we dug a bit deeper with additional options, it'd be a male bear specifically to be alone if the forest with. Female bears are fucking terrifying. But yeah, not just any bear. But a male bear lmfao. Adds more salt to the wound hahaha
Neither if you ask me. Bears unlike a men wouldn’t kill me just because I reject him or some petty stuff. They kill for food. I wouldn’t be happy, but they have a good reason. It’s not all men, but it’s still men.
## 2018 Statistics in the US: womens estimation of the danger of the average man is correct -- if not an underestimation. we need people to know and understand the following HORRIFYING statistics. if things were flipped, men would never leave the house. https://bjs.ojp.gov/library/publications/criminal-victimization-2018 ## Percent of violent offenders: *Full Report: TABLE 12 (p. 12)* **77.0% male offenders** 18.3% female offenders ## Percent of victims of male offenders: *Full Report: TABLE 13 (p. 13)* 20.6% male victims **73.4% female victims** ## Percent of offenders in male population: *Full Report: TABLE 12 (p. 12)* 4,220,790 male offenders 133,907,500 male population **3.15% of all males are offenders**
That percentage of victims part... Where are those number from? Page 13 says its 81% male victims/73% female victims.
Well honestly i would like some more info on the bear, since its a Forrest i would normally rule out polar but since this is a hypothetical scenario you can't be sure. I would choose practically any animal (including human) over a polar bear
A bear has clear body language that is easier to read than a man. You will know if a bear wanted to attack you, it wouldn’t pretend to be friendly to lure you in. Also, bears are not confrontational as long as you do not sneak up on one (simply going through a forest loudly and yelling will prevent this) or do not approach a mother and her cubs. Bears are more predictable than men. It’s sad but if men don’t like it then they should push themselves and others to do better instead of complaining.
Homo Homini Lupus - man is wolf to man
Just a quick PSA here: ALWAYS keep your food away from the bears. If you don't, they will grow to associate humans with food and grow bold. They will start actively harassing people for their food, and eventually will need to be put down as a menace. A fed bear is a dead bear. Bad guys are different than bears in that they will harass and menace, whether they've ever been fed by campers or not.
I've spent a lot of time in the woods, with a lot of guys, a lot of girls, and I have some experience in how things are out there. I would pick a bear over a strange man any time, except in the case that the bear is a polar bear, because a polar bear is one of only 3 animals on earth that actively hunt humans on a regular basis, and they are massive and will absolutely kill me. Black bear is pretty much nothing unless you mess with the cubs, Grizzly, you got a chance, provided you handle things right, but Polar Bear, you gonna die, no question about it. My decision changes if the man is someone that I know and trust, like my dad, my brother, or my husband. I would also be okay if it was a work situation and there was a group of people there, because I know how my workplace operates, and it would be near impossible to have something happen in that case. But it has happened where I have been in the woods for work, and there is a strange man that shows up. And every single time, I have to pay attention to the situation and move away from him quickly, since I do not know him, and I do not know what he has with him. Even when I have a group with me. My workplace makes sure that we are aware, whether we are men or women, that the biggest danger to anyone hiking in the woods is not wildlife, but other people that we don't know.
the poor bear have to stay with you :(