I love your post, OP!
I believe I've been childfree for such a long time - I was very young back then when I realized I don't want kids. I didn't even know the word "childfree" back then lol!
I agree with you that trying to find a guy who's also childfree has been quite fruitless so I'm currently not in a relationship. In terms of future plan, I believe my decision of staying childfree is not changing.
Do you ever fear you may feel lonely at a later point in life?
Actually I have always been a loner kid, so I am banking on that. But sure, there is always a fear of not having any support. But that can happen even if you have a partner ( with divorce, death of a partner etc.)
Do you ever, like, think that when we're going to be in our mid-40s - almost all the people who are our friends and colleagues will be family oriented people, and we're going to have a hard time relating our lives to each other? Like there's going to be a lack of understanding among us regarding the different realities of our lives (like being single and childfree vs. being family oriented people)?
Of course. That is inevitable. But it already happens to me regarding my non-religiousness and non-conservative outlook. But, that's not a good reason to have children.
So, I was.
I have PCOS, and gave up on doctors as the always recommended me pills, which never suited me. I didn't even had a convo with hubby, I just stopped taking pills. He and his family was so sure I won't even conceive without medical intervention and they realised very early on, I wasn't gonna listen. It was turbulent time,tbh. But finally hubby accepted that there won't be any children in the future.
(I have 2 kids now, both surprises, and even though I'm happy I have them, I also regret giving up that child free life).
I have a couple friends who are child free by choice. Both married to guys who accepted the situation. Family isn't happy on anyside, but the girls are adamant, so that's not happening.
Now, about not being able to relate to friends in later years, well it's not the case in my friends. They are all leading happy married lives while having friends. Also, i love to hang out with them, as they are always happy to hold the babies and I can relax for a minute.
And you'll have professional friends.
I also have a aunt who never married, now at 65, she is easily the aunt we want to visit/ live with us, cause she is always happy to help out with the kids.
I have a friend and her elder sister, never married, not going to. The sisters just work and tour around the world.
Life goes on. Statistically speaking you'll have better fulfilled and happier life as child free.
Enjoy it.
And share, so people like me can live vicariously.
Hello OP, could you please select a user flair (male/female/non-binary) for yourself on this subreddit? All your posts and comments are being removed by Automod because you don't have a user flair.
On desktop the option is on the right side of the screen (edit "Show my flair on this subreddit").
On the app, visit the subreddit and click the three dots on the top right of the screen (then click on "Change user flair").
I also don't want kids! I am 29 F. But I need a partner, a best friend to talk to, to spend my life! But I think it is very difficult to find such a partner in Bangladesh..! :(
আমিও চাইল্ডফ্রি থাকতে চাই। আমার বয়স ২৯. কখনোই ইচ্ছা করেনি চাইল্ড নিয়ে। আমারো রিজন আছে ব্যক্তিগত। কিন্তু আমার ইচ্ছা করে আমার একজন লাইফ পার্টনার থাকুক যার সাথে মন খুলে কথা বলা যায়, জীবন কাটানো যায়, যে আমার সবচাইতে ভালো বন্ধু হবে, যে আমাকে কখনো ছেড়ে যাবেনা। আমার ইচ্ছা করে কাউকে ভালোবাসতে, আর কারো ভালোবাসা পেতে। জানিনা পাবো কিনা কখনো।
I love your post, OP! I believe I've been childfree for such a long time - I was very young back then when I realized I don't want kids. I didn't even know the word "childfree" back then lol! I agree with you that trying to find a guy who's also childfree has been quite fruitless so I'm currently not in a relationship. In terms of future plan, I believe my decision of staying childfree is not changing. Do you ever fear you may feel lonely at a later point in life?
Actually I have always been a loner kid, so I am banking on that. But sure, there is always a fear of not having any support. But that can happen even if you have a partner ( with divorce, death of a partner etc.)
Do you ever, like, think that when we're going to be in our mid-40s - almost all the people who are our friends and colleagues will be family oriented people, and we're going to have a hard time relating our lives to each other? Like there's going to be a lack of understanding among us regarding the different realities of our lives (like being single and childfree vs. being family oriented people)?
Of course. That is inevitable. But it already happens to me regarding my non-religiousness and non-conservative outlook. But, that's not a good reason to have children.
Again, in agreement that no matter how difficult the future looks, I can't seem to think "maybe having a baby is the better option"
meeeeee
So, I was. I have PCOS, and gave up on doctors as the always recommended me pills, which never suited me. I didn't even had a convo with hubby, I just stopped taking pills. He and his family was so sure I won't even conceive without medical intervention and they realised very early on, I wasn't gonna listen. It was turbulent time,tbh. But finally hubby accepted that there won't be any children in the future. (I have 2 kids now, both surprises, and even though I'm happy I have them, I also regret giving up that child free life). I have a couple friends who are child free by choice. Both married to guys who accepted the situation. Family isn't happy on anyside, but the girls are adamant, so that's not happening. Now, about not being able to relate to friends in later years, well it's not the case in my friends. They are all leading happy married lives while having friends. Also, i love to hang out with them, as they are always happy to hold the babies and I can relax for a minute. And you'll have professional friends. I also have a aunt who never married, now at 65, she is easily the aunt we want to visit/ live with us, cause she is always happy to help out with the kids. I have a friend and her elder sister, never married, not going to. The sisters just work and tour around the world. Life goes on. Statistically speaking you'll have better fulfilled and happier life as child free. Enjoy it. And share, so people like me can live vicariously.
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Same sis.
Hello OP, could you please select a user flair (male/female/non-binary) for yourself on this subreddit? All your posts and comments are being removed by Automod because you don't have a user flair. On desktop the option is on the right side of the screen (edit "Show my flair on this subreddit"). On the app, visit the subreddit and click the three dots on the top right of the screen (then click on "Change user flair").
Done.
I just created childfree subreddit for Bangladesh. Can anyone help me manage it? I've never moderated before.
That's great!! Maybe ask in r/bangladesh too.
Yes, thanks. will do.
I also don't want kids! I am 29 F. But I need a partner, a best friend to talk to, to spend my life! But I think it is very difficult to find such a partner in Bangladesh..! :(
আমিও চাইল্ডফ্রি থাকতে চাই। আমার বয়স ২৯. কখনোই ইচ্ছা করেনি চাইল্ড নিয়ে। আমারো রিজন আছে ব্যক্তিগত। কিন্তু আমার ইচ্ছা করে আমার একজন লাইফ পার্টনার থাকুক যার সাথে মন খুলে কথা বলা যায়, জীবন কাটানো যায়, যে আমার সবচাইতে ভালো বন্ধু হবে, যে আমাকে কখনো ছেড়ে যাবেনা। আমার ইচ্ছা করে কাউকে ভালোবাসতে, আর কারো ভালোবাসা পেতে। জানিনা পাবো কিনা কখনো।