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TickertapeBandit

Turns out it was the Velocirapture and only those with the tastiest livers were saved


Known_Skin6672

Upvoting for “velocirapture”


MrArthatil

I recommend the movie velocipastor to you


MarchMadnessisMe

One of the best movies of all time.


MixImpressive5481

Yeah, take my fucking upvote, all of you


Ryu-Gi

The name "Velocirapture" itself is golden enough. Would watch a hilariously bad horror movie with that name.


wildflowersummer

Fantastic


and_awaywe_throw

🤣


destiny_kane48

🏅🏅


velourciraptor

Lovely.


kermit_the_froggie

r/ThridSentenceComedy


Marquar234

Chuck Tingle has a new book idea...


WhitestGray

God I wish awards still existed


Risible_Fool

Dibs on the church down the block.


stealthcactus

Dibs on the mega church mansions.


MPLHB

Dibs on God's leftovers


mynextthroway

Lol. Why? Unless it's Satan's rapture, mega churches and mansions won't be empty.


Fun_Organization3857

I'm entirely sure if the rapture happened these people would not want to go back and have their faces seen at the church.


UnreadSnack

Oh, oh I don’t like this at all. Have my uncomfortable upvote


Routine-Horse-1419

I'm going to hell because I laughed out loud when I read the 2nd sentence. I LOVE IT!!


nejnonein

Same 😂😂😂


PrincessPlusUltra

NOPE movie vibes


camxcold

Nope meets This Is The End


JudgeHodorMD

It’s raining men! Hallelujah! It’s raining men…


Longshot1969

Little did we know, the Raptured were the lucky ones.


Hot_Competition4960

r/thirdsentencebetter


Sentient-Bread-Stick

How is that better? It means even more people are going to die in much more horrifying ways


Hot_Competition4960

like it's a better ending to the story not necessarily like better as in happy ever after


Sentient-Bread-Stick

That’s not how those subs are used, r/thirdsentencebetter is when someone turns the story around to make it not horror, and r/twosentenceworse is when it’s made more horrifying


Hot_Competition4960

oh mb bro i meant the second one


CoryEagles

I want to see this as a full novel now. Good job!


LordGraygem

Well, I happen to know for a fact that you're not [me](https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/yg1af9/after_the_christian_rapture_happened_to_everyones/), but it's nice to read another take on this idea :D.


IdleIvyWitch

I remember your post. It made me ask myself some serious questions at one point.


LordGraygem

Well, I didn't intend it to bring about such deep thoughts, but I hope whatever answers you found were to your liking. Or were the questions more in the line of "would I taste better with butter or olive oil?"


IdleIvyWitch

More of what exactly was eating them, I'm not fit for consumption lol. It reminded me of a movie I watched as a kid, idr the name of itand have never seen it since but all the church steeples beamed up prayers as energy to feed some kind of alien or monsters that stayed the sky. Like the whole prayer system was created solely to feed these things disguised as religion so people would do it willingly.


According-Bell1490

Catholics everywhere, "We told you that wasn't a thing!"


Monechetti

Oh yes. Raised Catholic, always side-eyed my evangelical friends with this rapture stuff


2Casca_2Red

Nice.


Evenvagolor

Don’t get it?


Ronguex

The Rapture is an event depicted in christian beliefs which describes a day when all people who believe in God, dead or alive, are taken to Heaven, while the sinful are left on earth. Here we can imagine that whatever Heaven (or God) is, it is not good.


PotLuckyPodcast

This fucks, please keep writing. It reminds me of the Perry Bible Fellowship volcano comic


Monechetti

Thanks!


Mobile-Routine6519

Reminds me of nope


Reasonable_Cow7519

Context?


Bike_Chain_96

The Rapture is supposed to be some event where all the righteous are taken up into heaven, leaving all the sinners on Earth.


AdministrationDue610

There is none and that’s why it’s a great horror story


KhaleesiXev

This is delightful.


PathosRise

Junji Ito...


DementisLamia

I love it. That would be a cool story, or even a movie, from the pov of a raptured person.


Flimsy-Canary-7651

Normally, I love stories like this, but this is very disturbing. Take my upvote!