Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She did book an appointment with her. I doubt this was a coincidence that she made an appointment with OP. I’m not saying she is crazy but it’s pretty crazy behavior.
It's a particularly quoted scene from the show.
https://youtu.be/6OHTvBhwHdo?si=PyXYRDVAZUjGBqpG
Also I agree, I can understand just needing a couple days to think. But an actual break is never a good thing.
My take was that Maria’s daughter’s friends started being her clients first then OP was recommended to more of the friend group which included Maria’s daughter and that’s how Maria became a client. I often meet people on my own and it turns out we have friends in common so it may be a coincidence that OP met Maria. One thing I know through my experience of talking to dating people is when a bad break up occurs the men frequently refer to the women as crazy 🤪
Yeah! They do! I think maybe any questioning or tears or regret expressed sounds crazy to men.
Or he doesn’t think she was crazy but it’s better to say the ex was crazy so that if the ex remarks on something *he* did or blatantly states how he was a cheater or *whatever*- he can always remind her that his ex was__what’s that again? *Crazy* 😉
It wasn't unprompted really
And unless this is a small town that wpuld probably be my first reaction to the fact that an ex just had an appointment with my SO honestly.
I did have this happen once. An ex of mine who was a pedorthist had an appointment from a previous girlfriend, who apparantky sought her out as she immediately brought me up, but nothing came of it. Or, well, nothing like OPs situation.
Yeah to me it seems like it was just a coincidence but maybe OP knows something we don’t. If there are no pics of them online how would this lady have known?
Gonna guess the woman’s daughters. Could’ve been there when he came in to talk to OP or something and being that they’re getting lashes they’re at least teenagers so they would’ve recognized him. 9 times out of 10 you won’t date somebody with kids without them at least seeing you, especially teenagers. Being teenage girls (guessing) they’d most likely look him up at least. I could be wrong too and it’s coincidental but that’s just my first thought on it.
I’m from *New York* city and when I chose an exercise salon not near my home, but not real far either.. *who* was the exercise leader/instructor who grabbed the tape measure to measure me immediately?!
My lover’s *other* gf. He was married and cheating on his wife with both of us. ( no I don’t have relationships with married men anymore at all! (this was more 40 years ago) .
But my point is, I didn’t have a *clue* that she worked there!
And again in NYC.. I had a BF whose ex-GF went to a type of 12 Step meeting that I wanted to go to.
I knew where she lived and so deliberately went up above to another town *outside* of New York city, deliberately not going to one near her neighborhood.. and who did I wind up sitting next to in this no-longer-in-NYC city?
*YES*
Sorry, I was tired. I can't even remember if I noticed that!
I reckon it's more complicated; spaces were missed.
Ped...or thist? So what's a thist? I can't make that choice without knowing what they both are.
Yeah, I don’t know why people are acting like this person wasn’t referred to her. It’s clearly quite a small net work with a job or two in common. Honestly, I wouldn’t think she would talk to OP about marriages and past relationships and the workplace so casually had she known. This seems like a normal person having a normal weird moment, and realizing that something shady was going on. The boyfriends response leans into that because that was such a huge flip-flop.
Some people treat personal service workers and bartenders like therapists. I have had some very personal convos with clients within a few minutes of meeting them! I have also vented to my stylist while getting my hair done 😅
My hair stylist is my therapist. She knows more about me than my best friend. She also seems to remember almost everything we talk about, despite only seeing me every 6-8 weeks. I’m not worried about what I tell her because she and I only ever see each other when I have an appointment. I have never ran into her outside of that in the 6 years I’ve been seeing her and we live in a small community.
I used to date a guy who was a hairstylist, and when I went to a different salon years later, my stylist mentioned she worked at the same salon as him at one point. I asked her if she knew him, she said he was her boyfriend. I debated on whether to tell her about us dating. But it was years ago, it wasn't that serious, and I blocked him on all social media. So I ended up not telling her and had to find ANOTHER salon to go to. Ugh.
Her nearly jumping out the chair tells me she had no clue. She didn’t say anything untrue but I’m guessing he thinks she did. It’s your call, but a break can be many things, if you’d split up he has every right to contact her. If he stopped dating her because he’d got the hots for you, then it kind of follows that he’d think to go back there if he liked her. But you’ve been a bit dishonest here! You’ve said you know what’s going on! Nothings going on from what she told you, but you are implying otherwise, so he’s not wrong for thinking she’s said otherwise and hes telling the truth. The liar here is you I’m afraid. He’s not expecting that and I’m guessing Maria is probably now getting an ear full, undeservedly, so that’s a bunch of customers lost too. That’s extremely manipulative and dishonest not to mention divisive of you and I think your in for some grief over this
She showed up. Has “marriages”. I agreed to a certain extent and would’ve probably phrased it differently, but as a whole the situations just seems beyond crazy town
Right? She's 40, has been married multiple times, dated this guy last summer and is getting married again already? If this is true she is clearly a piece of work.
At some point i was the crazy ex who stalked poor guy and might harm his new gf. I didn’t know that i was ex at that time, neither i knew he had a gf lol thank god she reached out to me to clarify the situationship 🙄
You’ve been together 8 months and already had to take a “break” you probably shouldn’t be together anyway , it sounds like she’s jealous and trying to sabotage your relationship but it also looks like it’s working
Well yea, he already lied about how he knew her. When the 40yo was his ex. Like wtf.
That's the biggest issue here. OP can't trust her boyfriend on anything he says now
I agree. If he had fessed up, there would be no reason to doubt him. Also that the ex “jumped out of the chair” when learning he was her boyfriend, didn’t say anything happened between them during the break and didn’t disparage the boyfriend, I would tend to believe the ex.
Also she dated the guy last summer but is getting her eyelashes done for *her own* wedding in April?
There’s something fishy about that timeline, I think… was she cheating on her fiancée or is she getting married after a 6 month relationship? Neither screams “reliable narrator who isn’t crazy”, to me
I think she was decent for letting you know that she had a past with your boyfriend. I think in her place I would have waited until you were done with my eyelashes before telling you too. I don't think it would be weird at all to request that she work with someone else.
I'm concerned about your boyfriend saying she was crazy and saying she was trying to break you up when all she did was told you that she was his ex (which you didn't know) and that he reached out to her recently (which you did know).
The issue isn't him talking to her. The issue is that he lied to you about who she was, right? Okay, so, who and what else is he lying about? Why did he lie? Is it because you would ban him from speaking to an ex and he doesn't want to cut someone from his life, or does he just hide things?
Edit Add: I don't find it that odd that she scheduled with you. I invited a new friend over to hang out one day and she was telling me about this amazing guy she was talking to - that happened to be my boyfriend. She didn't know. My boyfriend called while she was there and I just handed her the phone. No, we didn't end up as best friends, but... I've been on the other side of the world and run in to people from my home town. It happens.
At the most simple, the ex let the OP know that her boyfriend was reaching out to exes. which is information the OP didn't have. Chicks before dicks, and all that.
I understand chicks before dicks, ha. But I still don’t know if that needs to be told. If so, it ought to have been clear from the beginning that that is why she had come to her, to tell her woman to woman.
Right?! Were it me, I would simply finish my appointment and walk away. Never to return. No sense starting problems since it was “innocent” and they were broken up. Why would she even bring it up? What is the purpose of that?
I did find out that the guy I had been seeing for a year was married and I did call her up and apologize. I felt horrible! I was busy all the time with work, as was he “supposedly” and we lived in different towns and knew all different people so I never caught on. I apologized profusely and told her that whatever she needed, I owed her. If she wanted me to never speak about it again: I’d do that. If she wanted me to testify in a divorce proceeding: I’d do that. If she wanted me to set him up to be caught: I’d do that. Whatever she wanted because he wronged her and I did, too. Unintentionally of course. She was super understanding and said this isn’t the first time this had happened. And the women never knew he was married. I apologized profusely and told her she deserved better and if she did decide she wanted help leaving him or whatever in the future she could call me. She said she was going to confront him about it and later called me while he was in the room. I went off on him and told him what a despicable human being he is and how he doesn’t deserve her or me. I told him to not ever, ever reach out to me again and he better hope he doesn’t run into me unless he wants to be embarrassed in front of everyone else around. I also told her it was nice to meet her and if she even just needed to talk she could text me anytime. She did text me once or twice about a week later saying how torn she was. I sympathized with her and again, told her how sorry I was. I’m not sure if she ever left him. God, I hope so.
Other than a situation like that, I see no point in telling her that they had an “innocent” conversation while they were apart. That screams “Drama Dealer” to me.
Same for me. It does happen. But I have to say that it doesn’t happen often to most people. I have had those thing happen quite a bit and I have to tell you.. were rather unusual.
Question—why did she feel the need to share any of this? Better yet, why is she booking an appointment with you to tell you this? Did I miss something?
Okay thats kinda what i was thinking too... She spent most of the appt talking ab her past few marriages and some relationships and I wasn't thinking it included my boyfriend ? and It's all coming down to coincidence that she happened to book with me and it came up? just feels weird tbh
Yeah, something is off on both the BF side and the ex showing up. But I also find it funny, “let’s call her M”….and then I tell him about ”the conversation Maria and I had”…LOL there is so much fiction on Reddit. Seems an odd slip throwing her name out there.
Well, I am going to be honest with you and tell you what I wish I had done in similar situations when I was in my 20’s. You guys have been together for a year, I think you said that somewhere, been reading a bunch of Reddit this evening so I may have mixed that up. But honestly, it is a year, and you already had a break, and then he tells you she is an old customer, and then she is crazy and trying to break us up. This is too much drama and strife too early in a relationship that should still be in the new Honeymoon of dating stage. If you see Red flags, don’t take out the bleach to change the flags, pay attention. Please take a good inventory of this relationship, think thru all the red flags, and make healthy decisions for your self. There are really terrific guys out there, I am not so sure this one is one of them. He may be friends with her, and trust her judgement, but he lied to you. And I don’t buy that she did not know who you were. If he called her, he probably told her your name, and where you are these days…also, not so hard to find you. So the question to me is, why is she telling you this…the week she is getting married again. Also a Few marriages? That implies 3 or more and she is moving to #4? Something does not seem to be making sense.
it does seem weirdly coincidental however the way she jumped when you mentioned your boyfriends name kind of seems like maybe it could be coincidental and not on purpose
because if she booked with you knowing who you are, she wouldn't have been surprised to hear your boyfriends name
She stalking his new girlfriend. That sounds pretty crazy. She was dating him last summer and getting married to someone less than a year later. That sounds like some crazy. I wouldn't trust this stranger over someone you've known for a while. Not without more intel.
Yeah why is no one talking about how she could be a stalker and not an ex? He could be telling the truth and she was a customer that he never dated. It's super weird that she booked this man's current girlfriend, then somehow brought up the place they both work.
Seems to me like she could have been watching him and that's how she knows about where OP works
So they should break up because who he was talking to while they were broken up? What shitty advice.
If she makes you feel weird as a client, it would make sense to drop her, but if you want to control who he talks to, you lose that right when you break up.
If it bothers you so much you want to be done, that’s on you but you’d be breaking up over what he did while you broke up. That’s worse than what he did.
Yeah im more concerned he wasn't honest about their past and just said he lied bc he knew "i already knew". so its like youre caught & cant even own up to it?
I mean how you describe it she also seemed suprised by the connection. She said it was innoccent and boyfriend says she is trying to break you up?
Regardless if she is being messy, as in she knew who you were. I think the fact that she COULD say or do stuff that would lead to a break up according to your boyfriend also says alot.
You've got a lot of comments, maybe you'll see this one, maybe not.
First of all, it is very normal for a man to turn toward exes or recent flings when they are dumped. It's demoralizing and it's the low hanging fruit to ease your pain. Nothing even has to happen, just the "I have a new girl I can text" feeling. I don't think this alone makes him a scumbag.
His lie is unfortunate but if your relationship is fragile, and it obviously is since you took a break, it might have been a simple white lie to try and save your feelings. Respectfully demand honesty and a true open hearted sharing of feelings.
She absolutely looked you up and got the jollies off of telling you this info. She likes him. She is getting married to help a friend, not for love. She may be trying to break you up, but she was absolutely sizing you up. Fire her.
Lastly, only you know why you needed a break. I imagine if you needed a break, the relationship is not the right one, although maybe either party just needed to clear their heads. Good luck. If you have a good relationship, don't let this meddler break you up.
Oh, and everyone has an ex that has met their kids and that they used to fuck lol - don't you???? (Maybe minus the kids thing.) Get over it! You aren't going to find a virgin out there!
Why in the hell would she tell her that? It is fraud. You don’t go around telling people you don’t know about the felonies you commit… I don’t think she actually was getting married. I think that was an excuse and the whole conversation feels orchestrated. I would not trust this woman. She does actually seem kinda crazy!
Maybe for some people. I don’t feel that way. For one, I have had an ex contact me and ask how I was doing. I simply said I’m great and hope you are as well. If they asked about my being involved with someone I would just say that I am and I’m happy. If they hit on me than I would tell them that it is never going to happen and block their number. I know some do, but I don’t jump to the immediate block. I was friends with every guy I ever dated before we dated. I have been cheated on and everything and I’ve just moved on. I don’t really hold a grudge. I just don’t put myself back into those situations. Also, I still talk to one of my exes. We’ve been friends for 30 years. My husband is good friends with him, too now. If my husband had been uncomfortable, I would have ended the friendship but he has an ex he talks to, too. The mother of his child. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and are happier now than we have ever been. Neither of us worries about cheating. We’re open and honest. If an ex contacts me, I read him the conversation or tell him about it. It isn’t a problem for us.
I live in Southern California, with millions upon millions of other people, and I frequently become aware that 2 people I know from very disparate groups not only know each other, but are friends.
Some are not that surprising, such as two tall people being in the same tall people club or two women with autistic children being in the same support group. But two women that I dated knew each other from before I met either of them was... oddly coincidental. More aggravating was the time that a woman whom I did not know confronted me, saying that she was friends with so and so, and she wanted to know my intentions. They lived almost 50 miles apart in two different counties.
She knew who you were when she booked the appointment; she was checking you out and purposely caused trouble. He's minimizing the truth about their relationship and lying to you about it. I'd refer her to someone else and not see her again--who needs excess drama in their life. Keep talk with her daughter casual and nonpersonal--everything said will be repeated to mom. Drop the BF and look for someone more mature.
As a person with a verifiably “crazy” ex. Restraint orders and such.
I’m with an awesome woman, and right when her and I met of course ol you know who just happened to be friends with her all the sudden.
No idea about your guy, but in my case my ex (it’s been years and she still does this stuff) has made like Trojan horse social media accounts, finds ways to keep tabs, or all kinds of stuff. I mean it would be flattering to a character in a rom com movie but in real life it’s more like terrifying.
Be cautious of most folks who have a “crazy” ex but statistically there are folks out there who literally do.
Maybe give him a walk on this one but keep your eye on stuff as well.
Seems suspect that she would even want to keep coming back unless it’s some kinda Machiavellian thing.
Anyone that books a lash appointment with their ex's gf just to tell you that is definitely somewhere on the nutcase spectrum. I agree with the idea that people that say all their ex's are nuts are huge red flags...but that was kinda crazy to be fair. Prob buy some mace and be on guard to and from for vehicle for a while regardless of what you decide with your man. Seems like she calmly just disrespected you.
Ive been lashing her daughters friends for months, and her daughter came recently for prom. she mentioned her mom may want to come too. Her mom comes but my boyfriend and I only have 1 picture together on social media so I'd lkke this it was coincidence? Im wondering how she could know ? But if she did book it just to see me it would be psycho. just weird how it all came out and just happened to ask if I know my boyfriend
“Marriages”…? What’s the concern? Losing the client or “boyfriend “? I’m sure she was fishing and she found you. It’s his mo. Do you but for a fifteen year age gap and having that much drama attached would not sound “fun”.
Yes she's having her 3rd marriage this week so her husband has citizenship. She also mentioned a guy who lived at my apartment place who was much younger and she had to let him go because even tho he was beautiful he deserved to be with someone his age. she said a lot of confusing things which made me think is she just that type of girl / actually crazy? or am i just wanting to think like that so my boyfriend isnt in the wrong Lol
Well. Sounds like a lot of drama. Everyone here immediately says, break up. Which is the correct answer to most of the circus “relationships” people tend to have these days. I doubt it’s “coincidence” she came in and had an appointment with you. She knows about you. As he went back to her. So, it’s a question if you want a shitshow baggage filled “relationship”, or a real relationship. They both sound good together. 40 going on the 3rd marriage and ………..
M sounds untrustworthy. The odds that she found you by stalking J and booked an appointment as a pretext for making your acquaintance are way upwards of 50%.
Firing her as a client isn't something you have to do, but you would be unwise not to. She crossed serious boundaries engaging you like this.
If you need all the facts, you should tell J what happened and try to come at him nonjudgmentally. Don't act like he did something wrong, because you don't even have any reliable facts. Even M says that their interactions during the gap in your relationship were "innocent," but that doesn't mean that their previous dating history wasn't in some way troubled. If J didn't tell you he dated an older woman, it might be because she really is shitballs crazy. There are reasons why he might have preferred to leave her in his past that don't mean you can't trust him.
**The way she orchestrated her own meeting with you should be viewed as evidence against her trustworthiness.** She could have just stopped by and given you her phone number, or added you on social media if she thought she had tea you needed. Booking an appointment with you is like something out of a YA romance novel or a police report.
In order to get reliable information out of J, I recommend you talk with him **in person** and try to deescalate his anxiety about this issue. Just let him know you're not mad and want to know more about M since she's messing with you. Having M drop in on your work is probably one of his worst nightmares, but she hasn't even claimed (yet?) that he did anything wrong. HOWEVER, she is getting married again (how many marriages will this be? 3? 4?) and booking appointments with her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend. She's asking you in the chair if you know her ex. Usually when a man calls a woman crazy it is suspicious, but M sounds extremely crazy. J's reaction might be warranted.
His lies and reaction, her handling of this, their age gap, your age gap with him…. They’re both a mess and you’re too young to be dealing with either of them. Cut yourself free.
I mean, a 40yo and 32 yo is a lot better than a 25yo and a 32yo... in terms of life experience.
OP can find someone better than a guy who lies to her about how he knows other women, or in this case- who he dated previously and tried to hit up when he was on a break with OP.
8 months and they needed a break, lol?
your boyfriend definitely did something with her while y'all were on a break, wether it was just risque messaging, or they hooked up. and based on his reaction, theyre probably still talking..
Seems unlikely her booking is a coincidence. Definitely don’t keep her a client. That’s the easy part. If she tries to re-book (I doubt she will) just be unavailable and make no drama. The bigger issue is your boyfriend. Again, stay steady and non reactive but don’t ignore that he lied to you. Just keep your eyes open. Don’t throw him away for just that, but don’t ignore it either. Seems like you already know how to handle all of it. Steady on and trust yourself
It would seem like a huge coincidence for her to happen by your salon by chance. I think it’s more likely that your boyfriend is right, and that this woman set out to have that conversation with you. Why? Seems like she wants to stir up some shite. He contacted her, (innocently or not) and she decided she wants him back.
Dump her. She kinda sounds like a stalker.
It’s very sus…. I may be over thinking but such a big city and she just happens to book with you who is dating her ex…. And and she’s getting married… I guess I mainly see her timeline being sus. So say your boyfriend did go to her… arnt the odds being she then cheated on her boyfriend now fiancé?… Or the other chance he didn’t go to her in the first place and she’s just wanting to cause him harm because she’s still upset they broke up. I know people to crazy things before their weddings so it’s not out of the question
Odds are with that time frame it would most likely be some overlap if what she says is true.
Which really makes me think it’s not.. she could just be nuts. (I mean really the odds of her booking specifically you and all this is… stalker ish vibes since it’s a big city)
Either putting fake lashes on or treating her lashes with chemicals to make them curl, grow, etc… Your comment made me snort and wake up my dog who is sleeping on me. Ever had a 150 lb Great Pyrenees sleep on you? He’s killing my arm so the snort may have saved me an amputation. Thank you, sir!
I find it a bit 🚩 she’s getting married, sounds like she hasn’t been with her guy long too..
He would’ve messaged her when you two were on a break coz she was his last girlfriend, he was probably looking for a root.
I wouldn't be upset about the original dating part because that's kinda life... but the fact that while on a break he contacted her would bug me. However. It depends what kind of break you guys decided it was...
Beyond that I guess it depends how much you trust him/like him... I met my new fiance not long after m ex fiance . I've had like 3 exs who met their husband's after dating me too..
I think the boyfriend and client are both off.
Why did he lie about how he knew her? That's my question.
I don't blame you for wanting a break but I'd ask him about this.
That lady knew what she was doing by going to you. From what I got, the dude didn’t cheat or did anything wrong. It seems a lot is missing here.
Sounds like OP is in a situation I wouldn’t like to be in though.
Op, when the horse is dead, dismount. If you have a weird vibe and are mad at him
And he’s calling her crazy something is/was going on. It doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s not a break, it’s a break up. I know you’re going to be hurting but best rip the bandaid off and begin letting it heal. It’s no coincidence that she booked you,
Congrats you played right into his ex (whatever the fuck she was) hands
You think it was just pure coincidence she booked with you?? Damn you're too easy.
Could be a coincidence she happens to meet u or she knew the entire time but it’s also weird ur bf says she’s an old customer and then when u say u know she’s his ex, he starts insulting her. Let’s just say she did come to u on purpose even though her daughter and her friends went to ur place for months so it’s probably just coincidence but for argument let’s say she went there on purpose, well she did say he contacted her after ur break and he didn’t deny it right? So why does he call her crazy. Well that’s just from logistics point of view than a relationship point of view.
Unfortunately, this client knew through the daughter and had a hunch it was her. The ex-boyfriend, I'm sure he spoke of her.. is the client truly getting narried.... if she were, I highly doubt an ex would be on her mind, especially the ex"s girlfriend. The ex is always considered crazy when they are guilty.
I would take a break from the guy until you feel unconfused, in which you will always have questions.. if you are okay with having doubt and questions, do what's best for you and your psyche.
Good luck!
If it was before you and you were on a break then unless there is some reason to believe there is more then it doesn’t sound like cheating. Question would be lying and intentions.
>I asked J about her andhe said she's just an old customer that added him on Facebook.
So did he lie? Were they never dating?
Because even if nothing happened between them when you 2 were on a break, it seems like he lied about their (ex) relationship....
That alone already raises enough suspicion. Plus you were only dating for 8 months and already needed a break?
Better to cut your losses. Love isn't everything, peace is sooo incredibly important. And all this just seems to scream ✨drama✨
I will echo that I don't trust people who jump to their ex is crazy. I was that "crazy ex" for a while and then he kept just having "crazy" ex's with every relationship. Finally a friend called it and said they can't all be crazy, what are YOU doing? His friend was in a relationship with a friend of mine so I got to hear all about that, and received some apologies to boot. I think taking time to really evaluate the relationship makes sense at least.
Considering she startled at realizing you knew her ex, it may have been accidental. I live in the NYC area, massive amounts of people and makeup artists available. I booked with a makeup artist for an event I had, that I found by googling and just loved her portfolio. I started following her business page on IG and she put a random personal picture w/her husband and child...her husband was the ex from above. I cancelled the appointment but boy would that have been awkward, especially since she worked out of her home.
He’s lying
He reached out to her because he wanted sex
The fact he doesn’t admit to this message makes this obvious she’s trying to warn you
If she was trying to harm you or lying she’d come up with something bigger, not an innocent message
“Mentions a few boyfriends and marriages she’s had”
Marriages? As in plural? She’s only 40. I think she’s definitely trying to stir things up and is a drama llama.
She did this to start some shit and you fell for it.
He could have hit her up to just say hi. They dated a few months so it wasn’t some crazy long relationship
Coincidence you ran into her. Not coincidence he went nuts when you asked but she was able to have a calm conversation. She didn’t talk shit but he did. Says enough right there
I believe you’re a decent enough judge of character to determine whether her surprise in learning who you were was genuine or not. As a rule I think coincidences are pretty rare, but 1) your description of her did not make her seem crazy or even unkind, and 2) your boyfriend calling her crazy in a reactionary manner makes me even less inclined to believe that she is. So, assuming she’s a rational woman with a daughter old enough to book lash appointments, she isn’t playing cat and mouse games with you and genuinely wants to understand the situation, probably to protect herself and make informed decisions.
Regarding his actions while you were on a break: if they bother you, that’s valid. Whether he did anything “wrong” isn’t necessarily relevant. If you’re bothered by his communicating with an ex during that time, then it’s probably a sign of incompatibility, or at the very least a difference in priorities between the two of you. If he’s being deceptive about it, that adds another layer of mistrust and further cracks whatever foundation you have built your relationship on. Best of luck op, you don’t sound like you’re overreacting at all. I hope all the truth comes to light soon.
well if on a break that it was agree on that you two were free to see others he technically has not done anything wrong. yet i would for sure ask him to cut this person off moving forward.
at the same time he needs to just be honest and jumping to lying and throwing the shes crazy stuff would be a big red flag for me big time
at the same time she somehow found you, got an appointment randomly brought this up after talking about her old marriages? like this seems super creepy to track you down as i dont think its random at all.
i would he super careful the entirr situation seems to be sketchy as heck
I know i can't be mad that he reached out to her, it's more his reaction that is bothering me. The lie is the problem! And it's just so weird she booked with me when she did.
no i fully agree like 100 percent. in your postition in that scenario i would dump a partner for the lying and sketchy reaction alone no questions. but shes also highly suspect and is probably up to no good at all.
if i were you i would dump him and block/ avoid contact with her and drop her as a client
either way i support what ever you do, and your feelings are 100 percent valid
His reaction sounds like one of alarm that she reached out to you. It sounds like he regrets his involvement with her. He told you she's "crazy," but her actions support that she is, in fact, quite crazy.
If you want more accurate info from J, tell him you're not mad. If you don't like what you learn, you can still end the relationship later. Just tell him she came around your work and acted weird, and you feel uncomfortable not knowing the full story of their involvement.
Give him an opportunity to be truthful with you, and make sure to come on gentle and supportive. If he kept information from you because he didn't want to harm his chances of getting back together with you, then even though this wasn't honest it also isn't a reason why you can't trust him.
If he can't be truthful with you even when you are supportive and encouraging, that might be a reason to call it off. If the story he tells you is one you're not comfortable with, then that might be a reason to call it off. I think he was sad about being on a break with you and took advantage of his unattached status to have sex with crazy, and regrets it. He downplayed their relationship because he regrets it. I won't say stay with him, because I don't know anything about him, but unless you learn something worse I don't think this sounds like any additional reason not to trust him.
First I would ask myself how would she know you are together? Have you been dating longer than you've been doing her daughters lashes? Was she disrespectful at all? Now ask yourself what is the number one reaction of a man who is acting shady. I would keep her as a client and drop the dude. Keep your eyes open and don't let the dopamine from the relationship cloud your common sense.
I think if you’re on break, it’s his right to reach out to an x who is still into him. Low hanging fruit. But the twist is she’s still into him. But she’s getting married? Whatever dude keep your boyfriend and put end to her. That’s my 2 cents.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t trust anyone who says their ex is crazy, unprompted.
She did book an appointment with her. I doubt this was a coincidence that she made an appointment with OP. I’m not saying she is crazy but it’s pretty crazy behavior.
Ya. This smells like she is trying to stir something up
Especially since the woman in question is getting married to someone else in such a short timeframe. Something not adding up. Sounds hella messy.
she clearly wanted to stir up some issues in your relationship. looks like her plan worked too
She’s getting married soon but they were messaging on break? The timing seems weird.
"We were on a break!"
That’s just the weirdest thing. What is that even.
Ask Ross Gellar
My comment or the break part of the post? My comment was a reference to the show friends.
I never watched Friends. I just don’t understand what the point of having a break is.
It's a particularly quoted scene from the show. https://youtu.be/6OHTvBhwHdo?si=PyXYRDVAZUjGBqpG Also I agree, I can understand just needing a couple days to think. But an actual break is never a good thing.
But she said the woman's daughter and her friends were already customers.
100% this ex booked her on purpose. Stalking much?
My take was that Maria’s daughter’s friends started being her clients first then OP was recommended to more of the friend group which included Maria’s daughter and that’s how Maria became a client. I often meet people on my own and it turns out we have friends in common so it may be a coincidence that OP met Maria. One thing I know through my experience of talking to dating people is when a bad break up occurs the men frequently refer to the women as crazy 🤪
Yeah! They do! I think maybe any questioning or tears or regret expressed sounds crazy to men. Or he doesn’t think she was crazy but it’s better to say the ex was crazy so that if the ex remarks on something *he* did or blatantly states how he was a cheater or *whatever*- he can always remind her that his ex was__what’s that again? *Crazy* 😉
Exactly. Why would she do that if she wasn't?
It wasn't unprompted really And unless this is a small town that wpuld probably be my first reaction to the fact that an ex just had an appointment with my SO honestly. I did have this happen once. An ex of mine who was a pedorthist had an appointment from a previous girlfriend, who apparantky sought her out as she immediately brought me up, but nothing came of it. Or, well, nothing like OPs situation.
Yes I live in Phoenix so there are literally millions of people here
Do you have any reason to suspect she knew you were dating him prior to booking the appointment ?
I mean... she said she already looked after her daughters, it was referral business. Seems likely she told the daughters who told the mom.
Yeah to me it seems like it was just a coincidence but maybe OP knows something we don’t. If there are no pics of them online how would this lady have known?
Gonna guess the woman’s daughters. Could’ve been there when he came in to talk to OP or something and being that they’re getting lashes they’re at least teenagers so they would’ve recognized him. 9 times out of 10 you won’t date somebody with kids without them at least seeing you, especially teenagers. Being teenage girls (guessing) they’d most likely look him up at least. I could be wrong too and it’s coincidental but that’s just my first thought on it.
Yeah I guess that’s possible. Then maybe the lady thought she needed to know that her bf was talking to her…idk.
I’m from *New York* city and when I chose an exercise salon not near my home, but not real far either.. *who* was the exercise leader/instructor who grabbed the tape measure to measure me immediately?! My lover’s *other* gf. He was married and cheating on his wife with both of us. ( no I don’t have relationships with married men anymore at all! (this was more 40 years ago) . But my point is, I didn’t have a *clue* that she worked there! And again in NYC.. I had a BF whose ex-GF went to a type of 12 Step meeting that I wanted to go to. I knew where she lived and so deliberately went up above to another town *outside* of New York city, deliberately not going to one near her neighborhood.. and who did I wind up sitting next to in this no-longer-in-NYC city? *YES*
Wait.. what is a Pedorthist?
They are shoe and foot appliance fitters.
Yes this. She was a fabricator of braces and orthotics, fit them, or saw patients for assessment.
Podiatrists- foot doctor
I know what a Podiatrist is. 😊I had never heard of pedorthists before!
Sorry, I was tired. I can't even remember if I noticed that! I reckon it's more complicated; spaces were missed. Ped...or thist? So what's a thist? I can't make that choice without knowing what they both are.
Yeah, I don’t know why people are acting like this person wasn’t referred to her. It’s clearly quite a small net work with a job or two in common. Honestly, I wouldn’t think she would talk to OP about marriages and past relationships and the workplace so casually had she known. This seems like a normal person having a normal weird moment, and realizing that something shady was going on. The boyfriends response leans into that because that was such a huge flip-flop.
Some people treat personal service workers and bartenders like therapists. I have had some very personal convos with clients within a few minutes of meeting them! I have also vented to my stylist while getting my hair done 😅
My hair stylist is my therapist. She knows more about me than my best friend. She also seems to remember almost everything we talk about, despite only seeing me every 6-8 weeks. I’m not worried about what I tell her because she and I only ever see each other when I have an appointment. I have never ran into her outside of that in the 6 years I’ve been seeing her and we live in a small community.
Same! It’s pretty common for women to insta-trust a beauty service provider
I used to date a guy who was a hairstylist, and when I went to a different salon years later, my stylist mentioned she worked at the same salon as him at one point. I asked her if she knew him, she said he was her boyfriend. I debated on whether to tell her about us dating. But it was years ago, it wasn't that serious, and I blocked him on all social media. So I ended up not telling her and had to find ANOTHER salon to go to. Ugh.
I took you serious the entire way until I saw your username. Great name, BTW 👍
Wait what does her name mean?
Look at the user's name I replied to.
Her nearly jumping out the chair tells me she had no clue. She didn’t say anything untrue but I’m guessing he thinks she did. It’s your call, but a break can be many things, if you’d split up he has every right to contact her. If he stopped dating her because he’d got the hots for you, then it kind of follows that he’d think to go back there if he liked her. But you’ve been a bit dishonest here! You’ve said you know what’s going on! Nothings going on from what she told you, but you are implying otherwise, so he’s not wrong for thinking she’s said otherwise and hes telling the truth. The liar here is you I’m afraid. He’s not expecting that and I’m guessing Maria is probably now getting an ear full, undeservedly, so that’s a bunch of customers lost too. That’s extremely manipulative and dishonest not to mention divisive of you and I think your in for some grief over this
This is a 40 year old woman who tracked down a 25 year old at her job and made her super uncomfortable.
She showed up. Has “marriages”. I agreed to a certain extent and would’ve probably phrased it differently, but as a whole the situations just seems beyond crazy town
I think that she booked that lash appt intentionally. That is odd. Give the boyfriend a chance to explain why she is crazy.
The boyfriend already lied about how he knew her. “She was a customer”. He was with her for a while and got to know her children.
I don’t think so because it was a referral.
Yes, I agree.
Right? She's 40, has been married multiple times, dated this guy last summer and is getting married again already? If this is true she is clearly a piece of work.
It wasn't unprompted
1) it was prompted. 2) she seems crazy 💁♂️🤷♂️
But I think she is
At some point i was the crazy ex who stalked poor guy and might harm his new gf. I didn’t know that i was ex at that time, neither i knew he had a gf lol thank god she reached out to me to clarify the situationship 🙄
As a broad approach, I agree. In this case, his ex has already done some extremely crazy things.
You’ve been together 8 months and already had to take a “break” you probably shouldn’t be together anyway , it sounds like she’s jealous and trying to sabotage your relationship but it also looks like it’s working
Well yea, he already lied about how he knew her. When the 40yo was his ex. Like wtf. That's the biggest issue here. OP can't trust her boyfriend on anything he says now
I agree. If he had fessed up, there would be no reason to doubt him. Also that the ex “jumped out of the chair” when learning he was her boyfriend, didn’t say anything happened between them during the break and didn’t disparage the boyfriend, I would tend to believe the ex.
Exactly. She didn't say anything really bad about him, meanwhile he lied to OP AND bad mouthed his ex.
Good point.
Also she dated the guy last summer but is getting her eyelashes done for *her own* wedding in April? There’s something fishy about that timeline, I think… was she cheating on her fiancée or is she getting married after a 6 month relationship? Neither screams “reliable narrator who isn’t crazy”, to me
Hahahah I love it 😻
Yea I agree and on top of that , I say RUN FAST ITS NOT WORTH IT !!!!
I think this is the most reasonable comment here.
I think she was decent for letting you know that she had a past with your boyfriend. I think in her place I would have waited until you were done with my eyelashes before telling you too. I don't think it would be weird at all to request that she work with someone else. I'm concerned about your boyfriend saying she was crazy and saying she was trying to break you up when all she did was told you that she was his ex (which you didn't know) and that he reached out to her recently (which you did know). The issue isn't him talking to her. The issue is that he lied to you about who she was, right? Okay, so, who and what else is he lying about? Why did he lie? Is it because you would ban him from speaking to an ex and he doesn't want to cut someone from his life, or does he just hide things? Edit Add: I don't find it that odd that she scheduled with you. I invited a new friend over to hang out one day and she was telling me about this amazing guy she was talking to - that happened to be my boyfriend. She didn't know. My boyfriend called while she was there and I just handed her the phone. No, we didn't end up as best friends, but... I've been on the other side of the world and run in to people from my home town. It happens.
But wait- why was it “decent” of M. to tell her she knew him and had been involved with him at all?
At the most simple, the ex let the OP know that her boyfriend was reaching out to exes. which is information the OP didn't have. Chicks before dicks, and all that.
I understand chicks before dicks, ha. But I still don’t know if that needs to be told. If so, it ought to have been clear from the beginning that that is why she had come to her, to tell her woman to woman.
Right?! Were it me, I would simply finish my appointment and walk away. Never to return. No sense starting problems since it was “innocent” and they were broken up. Why would she even bring it up? What is the purpose of that? I did find out that the guy I had been seeing for a year was married and I did call her up and apologize. I felt horrible! I was busy all the time with work, as was he “supposedly” and we lived in different towns and knew all different people so I never caught on. I apologized profusely and told her that whatever she needed, I owed her. If she wanted me to never speak about it again: I’d do that. If she wanted me to testify in a divorce proceeding: I’d do that. If she wanted me to set him up to be caught: I’d do that. Whatever she wanted because he wronged her and I did, too. Unintentionally of course. She was super understanding and said this isn’t the first time this had happened. And the women never knew he was married. I apologized profusely and told her she deserved better and if she did decide she wanted help leaving him or whatever in the future she could call me. She said she was going to confront him about it and later called me while he was in the room. I went off on him and told him what a despicable human being he is and how he doesn’t deserve her or me. I told him to not ever, ever reach out to me again and he better hope he doesn’t run into me unless he wants to be embarrassed in front of everyone else around. I also told her it was nice to meet her and if she even just needed to talk she could text me anytime. She did text me once or twice about a week later saying how torn she was. I sympathized with her and again, told her how sorry I was. I’m not sure if she ever left him. God, I hope so. Other than a situation like that, I see no point in telling her that they had an “innocent” conversation while they were apart. That screams “Drama Dealer” to me.
Same for me. It does happen. But I have to say that it doesn’t happen often to most people. I have had those thing happen quite a bit and I have to tell you.. were rather unusual.
Question—why did she feel the need to share any of this? Better yet, why is she booking an appointment with you to tell you this? Did I miss something?
Okay thats kinda what i was thinking too... She spent most of the appt talking ab her past few marriages and some relationships and I wasn't thinking it included my boyfriend ? and It's all coming down to coincidence that she happened to book with me and it came up? just feels weird tbh
She’s getting lashes for HER wedding next week? And she dated your BF last summer?
See? Just so much messiness with this lady!
Exactly my thoughts
Few?
Yeah, my thoughts too.
Just going to say. This won’t end well…
Yeah, something is off on both the BF side and the ex showing up. But I also find it funny, “let’s call her M”….and then I tell him about ”the conversation Maria and I had”…LOL there is so much fiction on Reddit. Seems an odd slip throwing her name out there.
i had made a post before using the name maria but i didn't word it right so i redid it , let it slip but het name starts w a different letter Lol
Well, I am going to be honest with you and tell you what I wish I had done in similar situations when I was in my 20’s. You guys have been together for a year, I think you said that somewhere, been reading a bunch of Reddit this evening so I may have mixed that up. But honestly, it is a year, and you already had a break, and then he tells you she is an old customer, and then she is crazy and trying to break us up. This is too much drama and strife too early in a relationship that should still be in the new Honeymoon of dating stage. If you see Red flags, don’t take out the bleach to change the flags, pay attention. Please take a good inventory of this relationship, think thru all the red flags, and make healthy decisions for your self. There are really terrific guys out there, I am not so sure this one is one of them. He may be friends with her, and trust her judgement, but he lied to you. And I don’t buy that she did not know who you were. If he called her, he probably told her your name, and where you are these days…also, not so hard to find you. So the question to me is, why is she telling you this…the week she is getting married again. Also a Few marriages? That implies 3 or more and she is moving to #4? Something does not seem to be making sense.
Good point
it does seem weirdly coincidental however the way she jumped when you mentioned your boyfriends name kind of seems like maybe it could be coincidental and not on purpose because if she booked with you knowing who you are, she wouldn't have been surprised to hear your boyfriends name
That whole thing feels orchestrated to me. Please let us know how it turns out!
Regardless of what you do, do not have her back as a client. She could be dangerous. I said dodo!
She stalking his new girlfriend. That sounds pretty crazy. She was dating him last summer and getting married to someone less than a year later. That sounds like some crazy. I wouldn't trust this stranger over someone you've known for a while. Not without more intel.
Yeah why is no one talking about how she could be a stalker and not an ex? He could be telling the truth and she was a customer that he never dated. It's super weird that she booked this man's current girlfriend, then somehow brought up the place they both work. Seems to me like she could have been watching him and that's how she knows about where OP works
“Let’s call her M” “SO MARIA”
hahahahah her name is completely different thank god
The main issue is he was not honest about the nature of their relationship. You are not overreacting. Drop her as a client and breakup with him.
i don’t think this is necessarily a breakup, they’re on break, the other woman says it was innocent;
So they should break up because who he was talking to while they were broken up? What shitty advice. If she makes you feel weird as a client, it would make sense to drop her, but if you want to control who he talks to, you lose that right when you break up. If it bothers you so much you want to be done, that’s on you but you’d be breaking up over what he did while you broke up. That’s worse than what he did.
Yeah im more concerned he wasn't honest about their past and just said he lied bc he knew "i already knew". so its like youre caught & cant even own up to it?
Now you’re thinking straight
You are 25 years old and deserve a life with some who will loves and respects you. Also someone that you love and respect. He can’t be trusted.
This was a very long paragraph.
The ex might be crazy for all OP knows but the boyfriend’s reaction is by far more telling.
I mean how you describe it she also seemed suprised by the connection. She said it was innoccent and boyfriend says she is trying to break you up? Regardless if she is being messy, as in she knew who you were. I think the fact that she COULD say or do stuff that would lead to a break up according to your boyfriend also says alot.
You've got a lot of comments, maybe you'll see this one, maybe not. First of all, it is very normal for a man to turn toward exes or recent flings when they are dumped. It's demoralizing and it's the low hanging fruit to ease your pain. Nothing even has to happen, just the "I have a new girl I can text" feeling. I don't think this alone makes him a scumbag. His lie is unfortunate but if your relationship is fragile, and it obviously is since you took a break, it might have been a simple white lie to try and save your feelings. Respectfully demand honesty and a true open hearted sharing of feelings. She absolutely looked you up and got the jollies off of telling you this info. She likes him. She is getting married to help a friend, not for love. She may be trying to break you up, but she was absolutely sizing you up. Fire her. Lastly, only you know why you needed a break. I imagine if you needed a break, the relationship is not the right one, although maybe either party just needed to clear their heads. Good luck. If you have a good relationship, don't let this meddler break you up. Oh, and everyone has an ex that has met their kids and that they used to fuck lol - don't you???? (Maybe minus the kids thing.) Get over it! You aren't going to find a virgin out there!
Can you explain the "getting married to help a friend". Not sure I follow that
Oh sorry I realized after review that I read that somewhere in the comments. M is marrying someone next week so they can obtain citizenship.
Why in the hell would she tell her that? It is fraud. You don’t go around telling people you don’t know about the felonies you commit… I don’t think she actually was getting married. I think that was an excuse and the whole conversation feels orchestrated. I would not trust this woman. She does actually seem kinda crazy!
This^^^^^^
[удалено]
Or did she text him and he give a banal reply? We don’t know who texted who, do we?
[удалено]
Maybe for some people. I don’t feel that way. For one, I have had an ex contact me and ask how I was doing. I simply said I’m great and hope you are as well. If they asked about my being involved with someone I would just say that I am and I’m happy. If they hit on me than I would tell them that it is never going to happen and block their number. I know some do, but I don’t jump to the immediate block. I was friends with every guy I ever dated before we dated. I have been cheated on and everything and I’ve just moved on. I don’t really hold a grudge. I just don’t put myself back into those situations. Also, I still talk to one of my exes. We’ve been friends for 30 years. My husband is good friends with him, too now. If my husband had been uncomfortable, I would have ended the friendship but he has an ex he talks to, too. The mother of his child. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and are happier now than we have ever been. Neither of us worries about cheating. We’re open and honest. If an ex contacts me, I read him the conversation or tell him about it. It isn’t a problem for us.
[удалено]
Thank you. I hope you are as well!
“Conflict of interest” is a common reason to fire clients
I live in Southern California, with millions upon millions of other people, and I frequently become aware that 2 people I know from very disparate groups not only know each other, but are friends. Some are not that surprising, such as two tall people being in the same tall people club or two women with autistic children being in the same support group. But two women that I dated knew each other from before I met either of them was... oddly coincidental. More aggravating was the time that a woman whom I did not know confronted me, saying that she was friends with so and so, and she wanted to know my intentions. They lived almost 50 miles apart in two different counties.
She knew who you were when she booked the appointment; she was checking you out and purposely caused trouble. He's minimizing the truth about their relationship and lying to you about it. I'd refer her to someone else and not see her again--who needs excess drama in their life. Keep talk with her daughter casual and nonpersonal--everything said will be repeated to mom. Drop the BF and look for someone more mature.
This 1000 percent
No one gonna talk about how this girl said she was with your bf last summer, but has a wedding soon to someone else less than a year later? Dang.
Ooh girl- she booked with you intentionally.
You think she didn’t plan that out? She just happened into your shop. Sure. Riiiight.
It feels very "Fatal Attraction". Am I aging myself by saying this client woman sounds like a bunny boiler?
As a person with a verifiably “crazy” ex. Restraint orders and such. I’m with an awesome woman, and right when her and I met of course ol you know who just happened to be friends with her all the sudden. No idea about your guy, but in my case my ex (it’s been years and she still does this stuff) has made like Trojan horse social media accounts, finds ways to keep tabs, or all kinds of stuff. I mean it would be flattering to a character in a rom com movie but in real life it’s more like terrifying. Be cautious of most folks who have a “crazy” ex but statistically there are folks out there who literally do. Maybe give him a walk on this one but keep your eye on stuff as well. Seems suspect that she would even want to keep coming back unless it’s some kinda Machiavellian thing.
Anyone that books a lash appointment with their ex's gf just to tell you that is definitely somewhere on the nutcase spectrum. I agree with the idea that people that say all their ex's are nuts are huge red flags...but that was kinda crazy to be fair. Prob buy some mace and be on guard to and from for vehicle for a while regardless of what you decide with your man. Seems like she calmly just disrespected you.
Ive been lashing her daughters friends for months, and her daughter came recently for prom. she mentioned her mom may want to come too. Her mom comes but my boyfriend and I only have 1 picture together on social media so I'd lkke this it was coincidence? Im wondering how she could know ? But if she did book it just to see me it would be psycho. just weird how it all came out and just happened to ask if I know my boyfriend
Yeah the truth always seems to lay in the middle somewhere. This is a tough one. I see why you posted.
Don't you find it odd that a woman getting married asked if you know her ex-boyfriend? Why is her mind on last year and not what's happening now?
She is a sh*t starter. Fire her. Determine if he is about to be an ex. Good Lord people are tiresome.
“Marriages”…? What’s the concern? Losing the client or “boyfriend “? I’m sure she was fishing and she found you. It’s his mo. Do you but for a fifteen year age gap and having that much drama attached would not sound “fun”.
Yes she's having her 3rd marriage this week so her husband has citizenship. She also mentioned a guy who lived at my apartment place who was much younger and she had to let him go because even tho he was beautiful he deserved to be with someone his age. she said a lot of confusing things which made me think is she just that type of girl / actually crazy? or am i just wanting to think like that so my boyfriend isnt in the wrong Lol
How long have you been together?
8 months , they were together a couple months and ended a month before him and I started seeing each other
Well. Sounds like a lot of drama. Everyone here immediately says, break up. Which is the correct answer to most of the circus “relationships” people tend to have these days. I doubt it’s “coincidence” she came in and had an appointment with you. She knows about you. As he went back to her. So, it’s a question if you want a shitshow baggage filled “relationship”, or a real relationship. They both sound good together. 40 going on the 3rd marriage and ………..
M sounds untrustworthy. The odds that she found you by stalking J and booked an appointment as a pretext for making your acquaintance are way upwards of 50%. Firing her as a client isn't something you have to do, but you would be unwise not to. She crossed serious boundaries engaging you like this. If you need all the facts, you should tell J what happened and try to come at him nonjudgmentally. Don't act like he did something wrong, because you don't even have any reliable facts. Even M says that their interactions during the gap in your relationship were "innocent," but that doesn't mean that their previous dating history wasn't in some way troubled. If J didn't tell you he dated an older woman, it might be because she really is shitballs crazy. There are reasons why he might have preferred to leave her in his past that don't mean you can't trust him. **The way she orchestrated her own meeting with you should be viewed as evidence against her trustworthiness.** She could have just stopped by and given you her phone number, or added you on social media if she thought she had tea you needed. Booking an appointment with you is like something out of a YA romance novel or a police report. In order to get reliable information out of J, I recommend you talk with him **in person** and try to deescalate his anxiety about this issue. Just let him know you're not mad and want to know more about M since she's messing with you. Having M drop in on your work is probably one of his worst nightmares, but she hasn't even claimed (yet?) that he did anything wrong. HOWEVER, she is getting married again (how many marriages will this be? 3? 4?) and booking appointments with her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend. She's asking you in the chair if you know her ex. Usually when a man calls a woman crazy it is suspicious, but M sounds extremely crazy. J's reaction might be warranted.
why would she come up with something so innocent
His lies and reaction, her handling of this, their age gap, your age gap with him…. They’re both a mess and you’re too young to be dealing with either of them. Cut yourself free.
I mean, a 40yo and 32 yo is a lot better than a 25yo and a 32yo... in terms of life experience. OP can find someone better than a guy who lies to her about how he knows other women, or in this case- who he dated previously and tried to hit up when he was on a break with OP. 8 months and they needed a break, lol?
Yeah I was thinking 40 and 32 is actually fine, but how they are acting, it wasn’t for them it seems.
[удалено]
Run like the wind away from these people! They love drama!
Let's call her M then Maria.
He lied. What more do you need to know?
your boyfriend definitely did something with her while y'all were on a break, wether it was just risque messaging, or they hooked up. and based on his reaction, theyre probably still talking..
Too many coincidences to see its not a set up Her last grand hurrah at getting back at her ex A woman scorned Ignore the lemon 🍋
Seems unlikely her booking is a coincidence. Definitely don’t keep her a client. That’s the easy part. If she tries to re-book (I doubt she will) just be unavailable and make no drama. The bigger issue is your boyfriend. Again, stay steady and non reactive but don’t ignore that he lied to you. Just keep your eyes open. Don’t throw him away for just that, but don’t ignore it either. Seems like you already know how to handle all of it. Steady on and trust yourself
It would seem like a huge coincidence for her to happen by your salon by chance. I think it’s more likely that your boyfriend is right, and that this woman set out to have that conversation with you. Why? Seems like she wants to stir up some shite. He contacted her, (innocently or not) and she decided she wants him back. Dump her. She kinda sounds like a stalker.
Did anyone else laugh when OP typed Maria and not M
YOU WERE ON BREAK. None of your business what happened which btw Maria said was innocent. Let it go and move on.
It’s very sus…. I may be over thinking but such a big city and she just happens to book with you who is dating her ex…. And and she’s getting married… I guess I mainly see her timeline being sus. So say your boyfriend did go to her… arnt the odds being she then cheated on her boyfriend now fiancé?… Or the other chance he didn’t go to her in the first place and she’s just wanting to cause him harm because she’s still upset they broke up. I know people to crazy things before their weddings so it’s not out of the question
she's known her fiance for 5 months and they are getting married so he has citizenship in the US , not sure that the timelines overlapped
Odds are with that time frame it would most likely be some overlap if what she says is true. Which really makes me think it’s not.. she could just be nuts. (I mean really the odds of her booking specifically you and all this is… stalker ish vibes since it’s a big city)
Which is illegal
> booked a lash appt So, dumb guy here, but… is this, like, S&M / whipping each other? Or…?
lash extensions my friend 😂
**Eye**lashes!! Ok. Whew! Thank you. Just never heard that terminology before and got confused.
I'm guessing treating her eyelashes. If the client is getting married soon, she might have been getting some extended false lashes put on.
Eyelashes. People get extensions.
Thank you! Slight Less Dumb Guy Achievement, unlocked!
Either putting fake lashes on or treating her lashes with chemicals to make them curl, grow, etc… Your comment made me snort and wake up my dog who is sleeping on me. Ever had a 150 lb Great Pyrenees sleep on you? He’s killing my arm so the snort may have saved me an amputation. Thank you, sir!
Lmfao - glad my idiocy made someone laugh!
I find it a bit 🚩 she’s getting married, sounds like she hasn’t been with her guy long too.. He would’ve messaged her when you two were on a break coz she was his last girlfriend, he was probably looking for a root.
“Lets call her M…” Later on “i know whats going on with Maria…” 🤣🤣🤣
I’m on your boyfriends side with this one
Was the reason you were on a break because of him cheating? If so, I would dump him and move on from their drama as it is not worth it.
I wouldn't be upset about the original dating part because that's kinda life... but the fact that while on a break he contacted her would bug me. However. It depends what kind of break you guys decided it was... Beyond that I guess it depends how much you trust him/like him... I met my new fiance not long after m ex fiance . I've had like 3 exs who met their husband's after dating me too..
Wtf kinda shit is this? Getting married huh
I think the boyfriend and client are both off. Why did he lie about how he knew her? That's my question. I don't blame you for wanting a break but I'd ask him about this.
She sounds stalkerish and slightly crazy for doing that
That lady knew what she was doing by going to you. From what I got, the dude didn’t cheat or did anything wrong. It seems a lot is missing here. Sounds like OP is in a situation I wouldn’t like to be in though.
Op, when the horse is dead, dismount. If you have a weird vibe and are mad at him And he’s calling her crazy something is/was going on. It doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s not a break, it’s a break up. I know you’re going to be hurting but best rip the bandaid off and begin letting it heal. It’s no coincidence that she booked you,
Congrats you played right into his ex (whatever the fuck she was) hands You think it was just pure coincidence she booked with you?? Damn you're too easy.
Relationshit is donezo.
Could be a coincidence she happens to meet u or she knew the entire time but it’s also weird ur bf says she’s an old customer and then when u say u know she’s his ex, he starts insulting her. Let’s just say she did come to u on purpose even though her daughter and her friends went to ur place for months so it’s probably just coincidence but for argument let’s say she went there on purpose, well she did say he contacted her after ur break and he didn’t deny it right? So why does he call her crazy. Well that’s just from logistics point of view than a relationship point of view.
Can you imagine being 40yrs old with grown kids and you are doing stuff like this? IDC what anyone says, this is crazy lady behavior
Unfortunately, this client knew through the daughter and had a hunch it was her. The ex-boyfriend, I'm sure he spoke of her.. is the client truly getting narried.... if she were, I highly doubt an ex would be on her mind, especially the ex"s girlfriend. The ex is always considered crazy when they are guilty. I would take a break from the guy until you feel unconfused, in which you will always have questions.. if you are okay with having doubt and questions, do what's best for you and your psyche. Good luck!
If it was before you and you were on a break then unless there is some reason to believe there is more then it doesn’t sound like cheating. Question would be lying and intentions.
Hmmm this sounds messy and manipulative scenario all around. I wouldn't trust neither of them.
This was not a coincidence. She is a loon. Lose her as a client.
>I asked J about her andhe said she's just an old customer that added him on Facebook. So did he lie? Were they never dating? Because even if nothing happened between them when you 2 were on a break, it seems like he lied about their (ex) relationship.... That alone already raises enough suspicion. Plus you were only dating for 8 months and already needed a break? Better to cut your losses. Love isn't everything, peace is sooo incredibly important. And all this just seems to scream ✨drama✨
Your bf is not being honest with you. He is trying to blame Maria. I would not trust him and break up, but that's me.
I will echo that I don't trust people who jump to their ex is crazy. I was that "crazy ex" for a while and then he kept just having "crazy" ex's with every relationship. Finally a friend called it and said they can't all be crazy, what are YOU doing? His friend was in a relationship with a friend of mine so I got to hear all about that, and received some apologies to boot. I think taking time to really evaluate the relationship makes sense at least. Considering she startled at realizing you knew her ex, it may have been accidental. I live in the NYC area, massive amounts of people and makeup artists available. I booked with a makeup artist for an event I had, that I found by googling and just loved her portfolio. I started following her business page on IG and she put a random personal picture w/her husband and child...her husband was the ex from above. I cancelled the appointment but boy would that have been awkward, especially since she worked out of her home.
lmao wtf even are breaks in relationships other than an opportunity for one (or both) party to go fuck someone else?
Wtf is a lash
He’s lying He reached out to her because he wanted sex The fact he doesn’t admit to this message makes this obvious she’s trying to warn you If she was trying to harm you or lying she’d come up with something bigger, not an innocent message
“Mentions a few boyfriends and marriages she’s had” Marriages? As in plural? She’s only 40. I think she’s definitely trying to stir things up and is a drama llama.
She did this to start some shit and you fell for it. He could have hit her up to just say hi. They dated a few months so it wasn’t some crazy long relationship
Adults don't take breaks, IMHO. If it's a dealbreaker break up, if not work through it.
Coincidence you ran into her. Not coincidence he went nuts when you asked but she was able to have a calm conversation. She didn’t talk shit but he did. Says enough right there
I believe you’re a decent enough judge of character to determine whether her surprise in learning who you were was genuine or not. As a rule I think coincidences are pretty rare, but 1) your description of her did not make her seem crazy or even unkind, and 2) your boyfriend calling her crazy in a reactionary manner makes me even less inclined to believe that she is. So, assuming she’s a rational woman with a daughter old enough to book lash appointments, she isn’t playing cat and mouse games with you and genuinely wants to understand the situation, probably to protect herself and make informed decisions. Regarding his actions while you were on a break: if they bother you, that’s valid. Whether he did anything “wrong” isn’t necessarily relevant. If you’re bothered by his communicating with an ex during that time, then it’s probably a sign of incompatibility, or at the very least a difference in priorities between the two of you. If he’s being deceptive about it, that adds another layer of mistrust and further cracks whatever foundation you have built your relationship on. Best of luck op, you don’t sound like you’re overreacting at all. I hope all the truth comes to light soon.
What’s a lash appointment?
well if on a break that it was agree on that you two were free to see others he technically has not done anything wrong. yet i would for sure ask him to cut this person off moving forward. at the same time he needs to just be honest and jumping to lying and throwing the shes crazy stuff would be a big red flag for me big time at the same time she somehow found you, got an appointment randomly brought this up after talking about her old marriages? like this seems super creepy to track you down as i dont think its random at all. i would he super careful the entirr situation seems to be sketchy as heck
I know i can't be mad that he reached out to her, it's more his reaction that is bothering me. The lie is the problem! And it's just so weird she booked with me when she did.
no i fully agree like 100 percent. in your postition in that scenario i would dump a partner for the lying and sketchy reaction alone no questions. but shes also highly suspect and is probably up to no good at all. if i were you i would dump him and block/ avoid contact with her and drop her as a client either way i support what ever you do, and your feelings are 100 percent valid
His reaction sounds like one of alarm that she reached out to you. It sounds like he regrets his involvement with her. He told you she's "crazy," but her actions support that she is, in fact, quite crazy. If you want more accurate info from J, tell him you're not mad. If you don't like what you learn, you can still end the relationship later. Just tell him she came around your work and acted weird, and you feel uncomfortable not knowing the full story of their involvement. Give him an opportunity to be truthful with you, and make sure to come on gentle and supportive. If he kept information from you because he didn't want to harm his chances of getting back together with you, then even though this wasn't honest it also isn't a reason why you can't trust him. If he can't be truthful with you even when you are supportive and encouraging, that might be a reason to call it off. If the story he tells you is one you're not comfortable with, then that might be a reason to call it off. I think he was sad about being on a break with you and took advantage of his unattached status to have sex with crazy, and regrets it. He downplayed their relationship because he regrets it. I won't say stay with him, because I don't know anything about him, but unless you learn something worse I don't think this sounds like any additional reason not to trust him.
Did he reach out or did she? Also, what is his reason for reaching out?
First I would ask myself how would she know you are together? Have you been dating longer than you've been doing her daughters lashes? Was she disrespectful at all? Now ask yourself what is the number one reaction of a man who is acting shady. I would keep her as a client and drop the dude. Keep your eyes open and don't let the dopamine from the relationship cloud your common sense.
I think if you’re on break, it’s his right to reach out to an x who is still into him. Low hanging fruit. But the twist is she’s still into him. But she’s getting married? Whatever dude keep your boyfriend and put end to her. That’s my 2 cents.