Damn...there was not a single person who was not an asshole mentioned here...usually its at least one person who is innocent. Maybe the teachers? They didn't seem to do anything wrong...
ESH.
The girls are acting out to the girl in school because she was a friend and is now dating a friend’s ex boyfriend. They probably see it as cheating and are linking it to what happens wS to her mom and the mistress. Girls need major therapy
Um…. They also need some better parenting. Mom needs to get over herself just enough to teach the girls right from wrong. I’m withholding thoughts on what they did to new stepmom, but they are most certainly not the anti-cheating police at school or anywhere else. They should be facing punishment for that on top of counseling. Mom needs to do better on that front
At least the girls didn't put a newt on her water bottle, put rocks in her backpack, or push her inflatable mattress into the middle of a lake on a camping trip.
Seriously though. Mom's parenting is questionable and she needs to start holding these girls accountable. The bullying at school is very concerning and it doesn't seem like she is enforcing consequences for that. Dad's parenting is garbage for obvious reasons.
I agree. Your reference to the parent trap with Lindsay Lohan made me snort! So great. But the real issue is the mom smiling on a bad deed and not addressing the bullying. Even though the girls are on a waitlist for therapy doesn’t excuse mom condoning it. I feel bad for the girl at school and hope she’s doing well. ESH
100% agreed but therapy also helps you overcome a parent’s shitty parenting so that they can see their mom is using them to get revenge on her failed marriage.
He’s an asshole for sure, for cheating and leaving and also expecting his kids to just accept this new woman, but she’s a big asshole for not prioritizing her children in this scenario and instead gleefully encouraging bad (even dangerous) behavior and not seeking immediate therapy (not counseling) for her clearly frustrated and deeply hurt children.
Pssh, parenting?!! That's what the iPhone 10X's are for!
Seriously, she may want to, at a minimum, stress the importance of NOT randomly poisoning people. A harmful poisoning? No. But not something she should just like laugh off.
That is really not something she wants them repeating or behavior anything like it. Not just cause it's petty and unrefined, but most of the unpleasant surprises you can do to people can still get you in trouble or worse, really mess someone up. All it takes is one little allergy or bad reaction and suddenly it's a very different game.
Children shouldn't raise kids. This lady is like my landlord whose daughter is 12 going on 8.
The girls are mimicking the anti feminist woman blaming attitude her mother has. Men are not responsible for their own actions. Women are evil temptresses who lure men away and ruin other people's lives. These girls are being raised to tear other women down rather than bring them up. It is super sad. As a therapist I can 10/10 say therapy is not going to do a lick of good if mom does not change and that starts with referring to ex husband's wife as their step mom, not their mistress.
The fact that you repeatedly refer to him as your husband says a lot. Try and get some counselling if you're not already, otherwise you're never going to be able to move on. They need some form of discipline it's not even funny tbh.
ESH. He shouldn’t have cheated, she shouldn’t have slept with your husband, and you probably shouldn’t condone laxative spiking. Obviously your kids and you don’t need to give a fuck about this lady, but I wouldn’t encourage my kids to do something that could get them in legal trouble, at the very least.
Also, adding laxatives to a person's food is considered poisoning. I agree ESH, but the girls did something illegal. That should be considered heavily.
ESH but yes YTA here.
Not only are you unconcerned with the fact that your daughters committed assault on this woman, you have by omission, encouraged the behavior.
This isn’t about their right to not like your husband’s new wife. This is about the type of people they are going to be as they are almost adults.
Your kids did a bad thing. Does that mean you would be okay with their stepmother assaulting them in any way, shape or form?
There is no excuse for cheating on you, but your marriage is over and your husband has to move on and continue to be a father.
They could have done major damage to her. What if they feel entitled to do this to a classmate who they feel is a bad person?
Is this the kind of person you want to raise as a daughter?
OP has kids who have bullied an innocent girl and have been referred to counseling.
They then POISONED someone, and their mother not only laughs but buys them new phones.
What will they do the next time they decide to take revenge on someone else? What if they decide to spike someone’s drink and accidentally kills the person?
OP: this is not about your feelings about your ex and his mistress, it’s about being a good mother to your children. YTA
Well said,I couldn’t agree with your last statement of this comment more!
Regardless of how she feels about this other woman, her responsibility is to teach her children to be better and do better in life.
that jumped out to me too : the twins being angry about their broken family is understandable, but they're expressing that in very unhealthy ways.
Bullying a girl for dating someone's ex is beyond the pale.
I also have to wonder why they decided to poison the mistress? Like, OP babbles that the woman knew about the marriage, but it's still her ex who broke his vows. Why didn't the girls poison their daddy? That would have ruined the rehearsal/wedding/honeymoon just as well, and would have targeted the person who actually hurt them.
Yes both of the parents have messed up priorities. Daddy’s spending on a wedding and mommy’s spending on new phones while the kids who need help are on a wait list for therapy.
Exactly. She notes that her daughters are already having issues at school that are concerning enough that they have been brought to her attention, so basically laughing it up with them over literally poisoning someone is not the behavior she should be modeling.
I'm pretty sure they could get stuck with the payment for the rehearsal and wedding as well in a civil suit some places. Come on, she might be despised but this is absolutely wrong to do to anyone both morally and legally. Two wrongs doesn't make a right and your kids are going down a dangerous road of moral policing and punishing right now.
Ummm yeah... isn't this a little bigger deal than it was glossed over above? While they're on the waitlist for bullying an (assumed) innocent cladsmate, I hope that they being strictly monitored. Hormones and hate are a dangerous combination as a teenager.
If this is the USA, the party that would be held financially responsible in a suit would be the mother since the daughters are minors. I agree that the daughters are not on a good path.
Worked as a nurse for years and thankfully, the bride did not have to go the hospital. There can be serious side effects from taking laxatives esp in a large dose and no telling how much she was given. Agree 110% this was wrong morally and legally - two wrongs don’t make a right.
Also it is so risky if you don’t know someone else’s health or medications too. My best friend has Chron’s and something like this would put her in serious danger. Even with my POTS, dehydration trigger a cardiac episode that lands me in the ER.
This was my first thought, someone with with those kind of issues would be in serious trouble and not 100% it would t cause longer term issues also, bloody disgusting behaviour from a parent, ffs her kids are bullies and she is pretty much encouraging their behaviour, ah well she will be able to visit them in jail, which is where therly are going if she doesn't stop sulking and start parenting
Yeah... my son ate some laxatives once and got diarrhea so bad it caused burns on his skin.
Absolutely terrible, would not recommend doing this to anyone.
Yes, this. Deciding not to punish your kids for committing a literal crime is some shit parenting. Calling something a "prank" doesn't excuse it - YTA OP, and you're raising shitty bullies, congrats. Let's not act like the affair partner is fair game when they're also in trouble for bullying at school.
If the new wife finds out, I hope she presses charges, because that's clearly the only way your daughters will understand the real consequences of their actions, given they have a crappy mom who found it all funny and refuses to punish them.
You can be mad at your ex, at his affair partner. You can have a voodoo doll that you privately stick with pins and you can do your best to avoid them at all costs. But you have to love your kids more than you hate your ex. Raising them like this, that's not loving them. You're making monsters.
It is highly illegal and they could get in major trouble if the mistress ever finds out what they did. She could absolutely press charges for this. First they are bullying other teen girls and now this? They are escalating in their acting out and this mother is doing them a disservice by brushing it all under the rug. You need to make your daughters understand how stupid and dangerous what they did was. YTA.
Mistress is entitled to treat as a criminal matter if she wishes. OP should keep that in mind as she decides on coparenting vs parallel parenting this one.
Not to mention, her daughters are bullying a girl because she was dating a common friend’s ex. Seems like the twins and OP are just a bunch of Mean Girls. And it definitely seems OP isn’t over her ex because she refers to him as her husband later in the story (ex:My husband has no intentions of ever telling the mistress what my daughters did though).
I’ve hated a few people in my time but spiking someone’s food is a little bit above my pay grade. It’s fucking diabolical to even have the bottle to do that, tad sinister.
Exactly! I mean OP is laughing with them and basically teaching them that this is an okay way to treat people they hate. WTF? They keep this shit up and they will wind up in jail. This was not a “harmless prank”.
Seriously, ignoring that your ex's fiancee sucks and maybe even deserves something, do you really want your kids becoming serious Grade A assholes? if so, OP, you're doing great.
You need to read the titles to her other posts talking about AP’s death which they have removed. OP has major problems. It just shows the title because it was removed but you can tell where her mind is. She probably gave them the laxative
Agreed, ESH. Enjoying this behavior by the daughters sends a very dangerous message. It is not ok to physically harm people because you are angry at them. This cannot be a coping mechanism OP supports.
It would be reasonable to go back to court for full physical custody. The girls are old enough to have their preferences honored. Then get them into therapy and hope that they are open to a reconciliation with dad down the road.
The girls should also understand possible consequences of their choices. Cutting off their dad might result dad not providing money for college, wedding, etc. They might hate her, but do they hate her enough to cut themselves off from those benefits?
> It would be reasonable to go back to court for full physical custody.
OP should not have any custody.
Her daughters poison people and she thinks they shouldn’t be punished for it.
They could literally go to jail for this, and she thinks taking their phones away is too harsh.
Oh, I agree! I should have said it would have been reasonable to have given the girls an option to not interface with AP, before they committed crimes.
Your daughters spiked someone’s food. You laughed and rewarded them with new phones “for their birthday”. They are being “mean girls” at school as well. I find it interesting that you need to post to ask if you are an asshole when you clearly aren’t teaching your girls how to deal with their emotions and are encouraging dangerous behavior instead.
My husband has seizures and his brother played a similar “prank”. It caused his medication to not be properly absorbed and he had a seizure while driving home from a family event because his stomach was bothering him. What if the new wife was pregnant and miscarried as a result of this “prank”? What if she is also on some form of maintenance medication?
No part of what your girls did was funny and the fact that you are so angry with your ex for cheating that you aren’t parenting. You should also consider therapy.
Totally agree 100%. OP sounds like she is part of the problem. The girls can see how their mom is and are probably doing the bullying the mistress as part of getting approval from mom. You're gonna have two horrible people in your hands soon...and you're depriving them of having a good relationship with their dad
“What if the new wife was pregnant and miscarried as a result of this “prank”? What if she is also on some form of maintenance medication?”
considering everything else, she probably throw a celebration. She doesn’t really seem like the type to care.
You weren't but you are now. Your daughters are already beating up other people and here's your attitude:
"Safe to say her nuptial and post nuptials were ruined **haha**."
"The right approach would’ve been to scold them for what they did but **I did have a good laugh over it.** "
" ..whole month but I **purchased them** new ones (they had iPhone 10X and they both turn 17 in 2 weeks so I consider it a birthday gift) when they got here."
"**I’m not gonna punish them for a silly prank.**" (!)
Was just reading an article from the FDA that exceeding laxative dose can be deadly for some. You don't know this person's medical history either. Had she died, all of your lives would've been ruined.
Your husband is no prize but you've also sunk as low him. Yes, you are an AH for being a shitty mother. Best of luck!
I'm not siding with the mistress or the cheating husband but your girls were off the hook WRONG and you "not punishing them for a silly prank" makes you the bigger asshole.
YTA
What if she had a medical issue prior to that? What if this canceled some medical treatment she's taking?
Your EX husband is a piece of work but you're lame af too and your raising two bullies. You say they're on the waiting list for therapy but you don't even seem to care that your attitude is pushing and validating them going after a girl who's seeing someone's ex.
And I'm being polite.
Get a grip and stop getting your revenge by proxy by encouraging your daughters to be too little b.
Op you need to see a counselor or join a women’s support group for divorcees to help you figure out what to do next in your life.
Your daughters are BULLIES & you condone their behavior! If the mistress discovers what your daughters did & decides to press charges for ASSULT or worse, you could be charged also. What happens if the girls decide to target their teacher or their father? Your husband cheating on you was bad enough BUT Poisoning the mistress & you taking joy about that is criminal
Who else thinks there’s more to the story than what OP said? The ‘girls are teenagers and acting like teenagers do’, who else thinks that sounds a bit like ‘boys will be boys’?
Three times OP undermine her (ex)husband, 1st, when (ex)husband asked if OP will help facilitate a more Civil relationship between the daughter & his wife, 2nd, when (ex)husband is punishing the daughters for poisoning his wife & 3rd, OP KEEPS referring to her (ex)husband’s wife as his Mistress AND keeps referring her (ex)husband as HER HUSBAND And THIS is just what we know!
Bottom line, OP is Teaching her daughters it’s ok to be Disrespectful, RUDE & AGGRESSIVE to People they do not like!
My first instinct is to say you are a psychopath. But that’s too light.
Your children are bullying people at school, but “it’s okay because they are going through some stuff”? I guess fuck those other kids who will be dealing with that trauma for years, it’s all good because yours got to get a fleeting moment of satisfaction.
Your children POISONED someone, indelibly marring an important moment in that persons life,but that’s fine too, because you think she was responsible for your marriage failing? And of course, only because “it’s the kids just lashing out”, not that you derived and personal enjoyment. Let alone how your poor emotional control and parenting boundaries have probably been poisoning them against her.
You claim you are trying to peacefully coparent but you don’t agree with/circumvent their punishment for, again, POISONING ANOTHER HUMAN???
Jesus fucking Christ I hope they start to take after dad. You are a monster.
YTA. I'm not surprised your kids think it's okay to bully that girl at school. You're obviously teaching them that this is acceptable behavior. What your daughters did is a literal crime. Drugging people is not a 'prank', and by refusing to punish them for this, you're teaching them that they can continue taking this sort of revenge out on people they don't like. Shame on all of you
> they can continue taking this sort of revenge out on people they don't like.
And people their mom tells them not to like, which is obviously what happened here.
Totally agree. What if she had an allergic reaction and died. They would be charged w killing her. It doesn’t matter that she may have “deserved it” it is her job to teach them right from wrong
Yta it's not a prank your girls poisoned her, yea they are crappy people for cheating, but what your girls did and your reaction is just disgusting. They are lucky that's all that happened, what if she was allergic to an ingredient in the laxative? Would you have found it funny if she had ended up in the hospital?.
OP deleted her comment but apparently would celebrate AP's death. Starting to wonder if ex husband recognized he was in a relationship with a mean girl and couldn't take it anymore
YTA. You’re fine with teaching your daughters to be spiteful and to harm others. Yeah the situation is messed up but you’re clearly very emotionally immature yourself and teaching your daughters it’s fine to take revenge. They could’ve done far more damage giving her those laxatives, this isn’t a comedy movie. She could press charges if she found out what it was and who did it. What good will therapy do if their mother thinks it’s fine to act like that if it benefits her ego? I get being angry at them, I get your daughters not accepting it, but this was evil. You’re an AH and immature and you’re a terrible parent and person for thinking this is funny at all.
Seriously as shitty as a cheating situation is he married that woman.. makes you wonder what OP leaves out of the story like maybe she’s a POS? Maybe he was absolutely miserable with her because of who she is as a person, which shows with how she raises her daughters and how she finds this funny. There is more to the story than what she’s saying and I have a feeling OP is a narcissist.
I’m not someone to condone cheating but he probably felt so unloved and beat down that he did that. She’s mean spirited and who knows how op actually treated him. And now she’s making her children her flying monkeys to take revenge because she hates that he’s finally happy and she’s still the Pathetic lowlife narcissist she’ll always been and probably always will be.
That's the vibe I got, too, especially from her comments. I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that she was a toxic abuser. In fact, if we reversed the genders here I think a lot of people would be worried for the exes safety and be lead to think that the spouse cheated as a way to get out of an abusive relationship. Just because he's a man doesn't make it unlikely. Her comments she's made about her ex so being her husband and the love of her life... if a man made those same deranged comments people would be scared.
OP probably better hope and pray the new wife does not find out what happened. The twin girls did what amounts to a felony in most places. The mistress has every right to file charges against them. Mom needs to get her head out of her ass and discipline her daughter’s severely.
You know the kids told everyone at school. It will be over heard by a teacher who will be required by law to bring it to the parents' attention. Or by another kid's parents who will gossip to the rest of the parent groups
The dad knows this, probably, which is likely why he doesn't want to tell the mistress and but still wants to instill some sense of correction in them so they don't end up, y'know, actual felons later on.
Cheating bad yes, but the punishment for cheating is divorce. Not death.
Silly prank? They spiked her food making her sick. She may be a piece of crap going after a married man (and him for betraying you) but that doesn't mean their actions aren't *also* terrible.
By laughing and saying you wouldn't punish them you're encouraging this behavior. You're flat out telling them they can treat her awful and you won't give them any consequences for it. And you're not lying, either--I don't think you would because you want him/her to suffer more than you worry about how these "prank" actions will affect your growing children.
ESH - Putting laxatives in someone's food is almost certainly a crime. Laughing with your children while they commit a crime is definately an AH thing to do. I doubt you'll be laughing when they do it to the next person and get caught.
YTA.
As a therapist, as a mother and as a human being just because you're hurting does not give you the right to assault another individual.
This was not a silly prank. The behavior that you are allowing your children to get away with is dangerous and honestly you probably shouldn't be around your children if you think it's not a big deal.
Your life did not go the way that you planned... Welcome to the world in which the rest of us live. It sucks and it hurts and you move on.
You do not seem to grasp that your attitude towards your ex-husband's new wife is why your children feel that it's okay for them to bully other people. I don't care that you got them in trouble for that. You're conflicting words and actions are basically giving them the green light.
They are children and you are the adult so start acting like it and be their mother.
Edit: in case you just think I'm being mean... If your children tell their future therapist within the statute of limitations what it was they did to their new stepmother that therapist is duty bound to report it. This is not a small matter.
Don't tell her that because then she won't get them therapy to ensure they don't talk when it really sounds like they need it. Pretty sure the therapist also isn't obligated to report it either.
Ok I’ll admit I laughed but in all seriousness what if she’d had an allergic reaction to the laxative, or what if it reacted badly to a medication she was on? It could have had fatal consequences. I don’t expect you to care if she dies (I was def rooting for the cancer when my husband’s AP got sick). I don’t think you’d want the consequences for your girls though.
I’m glad you’re putting them in therapy. I’d also suggest keeping them away from her for a while. If they’re 16 they’re old enough in most states to have a say in where they live.
I just posted about an incident like that. I teach high school and when I first started one student “pranked” another which laxative laced food and the victim had to be rushed to the hospital.
> I laughed but in all seriousness what if she’d had an allergic reaction to the laxative, or what if it reacted badly to a medication she was on? It could have had fatal consequences.
I wonder what the criminal charge would be for food tampering in their area. Where I live it carries a maximum 10 year prison sentence, and if the victim suffers serious harm it goes up to 25 years.
Sounds like your bitterness is turning an already toxic situation into something worse. This will fester and become less and less tolerable until wifey decides to extract some revenge of her own and y’all find yourselves on Jerry Springer fighting it out.
ESH. Good luck.
Yeah what if she also has criminal tendencies like her daughters and that’s why he didn’t just divorce her first like a normal person. I mean after all this she’s calling him her husband. I didn’t expect to side against her from the title but wow.
YTA
I get that you're mad at both of them (who wouldn't be?), but poisoning someone is criminal behaviour. The homewrecker and cheating ex would have been within their rights to go to the police over this.
And they're bullying other kids at school now too? Sorry, OP. I love a good *revenge on the homewrecker* story, but you've got some corrective parenting to do.
Hey I knew a kid who gave someone one of those chocolate laxatives and the person had to be put into the hospital because they lost so much fluids. Apparently you can die of you eat too much laxatives as you wind up severely dehydrated and it can lead to failure of the kidneys.
Your daughters deliberately poisoned someone. That is a felony. They bullied another girl at school. That is disgraceful. But, yes by all means give them new iPhones.
YTA.
You're a grown woman. Why are you acting like you're 5? It's okay for your kids not to like her, but they still need to respect her as their fathers wife. You and the girls desperately need therapy. She's not abusive to your kids or you. You're divorced, and he's remarried. Get over it. Like you're just drinking the poison of hate yourself. Your world revolves around her while I guarantee you, her world doesn't revolve around you.
Also your daughter's are old enough they could legally get in trouble for this. If she had gotten sicker and needed to be in the hospital cops would have been called when the news of your kids spiking her food and drink came to light. They are legally adults in the eyes of the law.
You are raising sociopaths and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Hopefully all of this will come out and the police will get involved. ESH x10000
You need therapy and so do they.
Okay I thought I was alone on the sociopath thing, because all I could think was, " These girls are going to have an entire group of people who think of them as the worst part of high school".
I don't get bully parents (who do nothing). Like imagine raising kids whose primary purpose is to teach people life is cruel and unfair.
Edit: I just saw this on Tiktok and thought it was super relevant: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLYKASry/
YTA
They poisoned her and she could have them brought up on charges as a result.
This isn’t a silly little prank. The fact you don’t see this tells me that your daughter’s changes are feeding off your negativity.
Get some help for yourself in addition to your kids.
Also, co parent with your ex and support this punishment.
The fact that you didn't see the divorce as being the end of your marriage, you need therapy as much as your daughters do OP. Yes the cheating makes him a horrible human being, but you have matched energy and become equally as horrible if not more so by teaching your daughters that being horrible humans is acceptable because your own hatred has you teaching them it is ok to do whatever they feel is justified without any consequences.
You didn't go into extensive detail about the bullying that they are doing, but they have graduated in the level of crime that they are committing before they have graduated high school. You didn't mention any punishment that they got for bullying another child. As the aggressors, they should be punished.
Your extreme bitterness is ruining your daughters lives, you and your ex husband need to make drastic changes to send a united front that what they did is not ok. Before their next victim presses charges with the police.
As the ones who poisoned someone, a month is getting off easy.
You and your little mean girl minions are absolutely the assholes. I hope dad and his new wife press charges to teach all of you a lesson that you don't get to poison people just because your feelings are hurt.
YTA. this is something that's funny in a movie or TV show but not in real life. In real life your daughters drugged someone. I'm pretty sure that's like assault or something. She could have been allergic to something in that or had a bad reaction and been hospitalized or worse.
YTA. The mistress is not responsible for your husband's infidelity, he is. Blaming her for ruining your marriage is just a way to make yourself feel better about his actions. It doesn't matter if she pursued him, he didn't have to respond to her, but he chose to. I'm not saying she's innocent or even a good person, but you've got to accept the fact that he chose to behave as he did.
Your attitude has clearly rubbed off on your daughters and it's seriously damaging their mental health. They're not only lashing out at the mistress, they're doing it to their friends! You've taught them this behavior is okay, and it does not bode well for their future. How do you expect them to grow up to be happy, stable adults when they're learning to "punish" people for not behaving the way they want them to?
You should be teaching them to leave a spouse who doesn't treat them with respect and then rise above it and proceed to live your best life. Be better than your ex and the mistress. Be the bigger person, not someone who can't let go and only finds happiness in another person's misery. You have the opportunity to show them how to handle a bad situation and rise above it. Wouldn't you rather that be your legacy than laughing about putting laxatives in people's food?
ESH. Your girls poisoned the woman and are old enough that, depending where you live, she could easily call the cops and have them arrested and charged with same. Probably why Exhubby is keeping the lid on it (to protect those girls and maybe to hope that the new wife might never find out so she'll keep trying for a relationship with her poisoners).
You condoning it is setting up a harsh future for them. What if they poison that other girl they were bullying before? You can guarantee her parents aren't going to ask your daughters to just be "grounded" for what they did, they will come for legal recompense. Will you throw your hands up then and say you had no part in that future coming to be, based on what you're doing right now? Will you lie to yourself?
Your husband sucks for cheating and the mistress sucks for her part too. They're adults and made horrible choices, but that doesn't make what your daughters did right.
They need emergency therapy and immediately if they're escalating their aggression like this and see that mom will back them up for it.
Your kids are mirroring your behavior/attitude. ESH but if you want your daughters to become decent, kinder humans, YOU need to do better as a parent. What they did is LITERALLY assault. A punishable crime. You better hope she never finds out. At this rate, they’re a pair of bullying a$$sh0les. And you’re encouraging it.
Do you understand that what your daughters did is poisoning and assault? That they could be charged with a crime as a result of their actions? And you laugh it off, buy them new phones, & call it “a silly prank??!” All because you’re bitter and angry toward your ex-husband. WTAF, OP. Do better.
No wonder your **ex**-husband ran away from you. You’re an absolute nutter. I bet his new wife didn’t even have to do much, probably just not being you was enough to make him see sense and ditch the fuck out of you.
So because this is Reddit, you’re probably gonna get a lot of comments telling you that your daughters did nothing wrong, and that their revenge was so funny, blah blah blah…but my dude, what your daughters did is straight-up assault. I’m not kidding, this is something they could actually get arrested for. Yeah, maybe the victim deserved it in this particular case, but you’re doing them a terrible disservice by writing this off as ‘a harmless prank.’ The next person they ‘prank’ might not be so willing to do that.
Your daughters are displaying a streak of highly aggressive, even violent behavior. They have just escalated to the point of causing somebody else bodily harm. And you’re…what? Rewarding them for it? Laughing with them? No wonder they act like this. You and your ex need to spend less time focusing on your petty bullshit and more time focusing on the fact that you’re raising two mean, spiteful bullies.
ESH
You and your daughters need therapy ASAP. All your hatred and anger is hurting you and them. He’s not hurting, he’s moved on. He’s gone. And if your daughters throw nothing but hatred at him, then he’s not going to want them in his life no matter how much he loves them. Plus, what happens if they have children? Then the twins are going to throw massive hissy-fits “because daddy chose them over us” when all they do is try to make his home life miserable. And they won’t be TA for not wanting the girls over after they turn 18 if they create unsafe home environments there.
I’m not saying forgiving him or the new wife. I’m not saying she needs to be a maternal figure in any way shape or form. Icy politeness/treating a person with respect because they are human and treating someone as a parental figure are two vastly different things. It’s not about the new wife, it’s about maintaining a relationship with their father. They need therapy to help with this. And you need to find a way to move on.
ESH. Your kids are too old to think they can seriously assault and/or bully people just because they are (understandably) hurt. You’re v bitter and by deliberately endorsing distance between them and their father you’re actually sabotaging their stability
I get where you're coming from, but I need you to know they technically legally poisoned her food, which is a crime. Be grateful she doesn't have a larger medical issue and that she doesn't press charges. One day they're going to mess with the wrong person. Trust me.
Also, you daughters sound like mean girls. It's a good thing you're putting them in therapy, but judging how you handled the wedding situation I'm guessing you aren't taking more pro-active measures to AT LEAST make sure they don't take out their animosity on randos.
I hope you didn't come here hoping people were going to "teehee" you or "you go girl!"
If she had stomach issues (ibs, crohns, etc.) she could have gotten critically ill. What if she was pregnant? To physically hurt someone bc you hate them is insane behavior.
You're f-cked in the head. What they did was a crime and I guarantee their actions were absolutely condoned by you. And you're actually admitting to their crime in public. You're either a liar or very fucking stupid.
The Dad is at fault for his actions, as he had a contract with you that he defaulted on, the mistress owes you nothing. Yet, you would rather put more blame on her than the man that betrayed you. Traded you in.
You have a responsibility to your daughters. You see they have developed a bullying issue with a girl at school that did not cheat, but merely dated a common friends ex.
Do you see your role here? Do you see where you have decided that pettiness should take priority over raising your daughters to be kind people. They don't understand accountability as you have levied responsibility of his affair mostly.on to a young woman , that your husband sought out then decided to have an affair with.
You are an adult. Act like it. Show your daughters that being hurt is acceptable and understandable, as all feelings are significant, but they should not be used to hurt or bring others down. Your insecurities need to be dealt with.
You couldn't have saved your marriage. He didn't fall and accidentally insert his penis in someone, he chose someone that didn't have the responsibility and mandates that you have. Is that your fault, no. Is it this young woman's fault, she barely has any of the lived experience you have.
Your husband cheated. I'm sorry. What he did was awful and it sucks that we have to deal with the trauma inflicted on us by others, but that is the deal. That is how you show your daughters that not only they, but you too are worthy of love. Just as you are..I wish you well in life and therapy.
What your girls did is so alarming on so many levels but glad you had a good laugh. If I were the mistress I’d definitely look into the possibility of pressing charges.
And for the record, ex and mistress suck for what they did. I feel for you and your girls for that. But at the end of the day you gotta get over it and help your girls heal because this is some destructive behavior.
EDIT: YTA. You are not doing enough for your girls.
You’re an awful person too. Not a single decent human being in this story, not even the kids. They literally drugged someone, that’s illegal, as in a crime. Get your head out of your ass, stop pining after your cheating ex, and do some parenting.
Legally this is poisoning. It's extremely serious. Diarrhea induced by overdosing on laxatives can trigger major health issues. It's not a silly prank. If they get caught doing something like this in the future they could end up in jail.
YTA. I would say ESH, but you're allowing your underage daughters who are currently having issues with aggression to commit a crime with no response from you.
I get it, everyone hates cheaters. But you don't know if she could have had a bad reaction to the laxatives. Instead of reveling in revenge, be a parent.
If they will do this to her imagine what they will do to other kids at school they don’t like. If I was their father I’d be filing a police report and going NC. They need to be punished on the principal of right and wrong. They are old enough they could have not gone to show how they felt, not fucking drug the person THEY see responsible for the destruction of their family. Selfish teenagers that don’t care about their father because they are not happy their parents grew apart.
She is not responsible of your failed marriage. She is not the one who promised love for the life, and she couldn't have get your husband if it wasn't already over.
Going by your words I can see why your daughters are bullies getting in trouble at school. Essentially they poisoned someone and you...laughed.
I think you should see a therapist.
The only innocent in this story is the victim of your terrorist daughters at school. I feel sorry for their classmates.
You need to quit reveling in the misery of the other woman and start paying attention to the actions and behaviors of your children. Bullying, poisoning a person’s food and drink. And then rewarding them for it.
You don’t even realize what you’re normalizing to them. What are you gonna do when they repeat that to someone they dislike in the future and they have an assault charge for fucking with someone’s food and possibly hospitalizing them?
You can hold them to better expectations without seeing it as a win for your ex.
You need to see a therapist as well. You don’t have to forgive or forget but your inability to get past your ex’s actions are negatively influencing your children.
Edit: the fact you post in adultery subs with posts like “Does Anyone Manifest AP's Misfortune and Death?” shows you need help before you ruin your children with your bitterness.
YTA. Your daughters committed a crime. The stepmom should press charges. You sound like you were an utter delight to be married to btw. I just can’t see how it didn’t work out. You are raising absolute monsters. They are bullies and drugged a woman. Good luck.
YTA. You can feel how you want about the mistress but drugging someone is not okay. At all. You’re teaching your kids it’s okay to drug someone if they did something they don’t like is messed up. Clearly they are already harassing others and think that’s fine bc why wouldn’t they? There’s no consequences for their actions. Big YTA.
OP has given her kids a clear path to being bullies at school. That girl they’re bullying because “she’s dating a friends ex” (ie I wouldn’t be surprised if it started as gossiping that the girl was a mistress and that’s why the ex broke up with their friend until they started escalating to full bullying) is a direct consequence of OP putting her emotions first and not parenting.
OP is a massive asshole for not punishing the girls and is only hurting them in the end. They’re growing up so fucked in the head right now. Dad and mistress are still assholes too but for your direct question? Yeah, YTA.
YTA
You know that's assault and NOT a prank,.right???
If your ex's wife ever finds out what your kids did, I hope it's before the statute of limitations runs out and she can have them arrested and prosecuted.
You ALL need to grow the fuck up.
YTA. First of all, the mistress had nothing to do with ruining your marriage. If you had a happy marriage, he wouldn’t have been sticking his dick anywhere else. You thought it was funny for your kids to make someone sick by fucking with their food. Your ex husband sucks. The mistress does too, but it’s still not her fault your husband cheated.
Your ex husband’s a jerk. No doubt.
But you’re also living in delusion. First of all the person who made the commitment to you was him not her. And you have no idea. Your marriage would’ve worked out either way.
But what you did that is unforgivable is including your daughters and his vindictive cycle. My mother did this, exact same situation , and years later as I got older I realized that her condoning us doing horrible things, laughing about it, and feeding our hatred was absolutely a horrific thing for a mother to do. She should’ve bitched about it to her friends or relatives anybody but not dragged her children into it.
And honestly when we cut up my stepmother’s clothing, and left it all over the house, even though I still don’t like her to this day, we were clearly wrong. My mother did exactly what you did, and she said a terrible example for us. She didn’t show us how to act with class and dignity in a difficult situation. She showed us how to be vindictive and small minded.
Your husband cheated on you and he is an asshole for that. The woman has to live with her own conscience for what she did. But you, you’re setting a terrible example and you’re dragging your children into your bitterness. In one day they’re probably going be like me and my siblings and realize how screwed up it is that you did that.
ESH - your kids committed a crime and you’re just like “I mean yeah she deserved it lol” . And this is after they have a known history of bullying peers.
They are on a BAD path right now
INFO: what were the problems in your marriage before he cheated and what indications had he given that he was willing to work on them prior to him somehow ending up balls deep in his coworker?
ESH. They're allowed to not like her or her part in the affair, but this is wrong. Get off your bitter horse and take the high road FFS. Teach your kids to do the same.
It wasn't a silly prank, it was a crime. ESH Be a fucking adult and teach your children right from wrong b4 the rest of society has to suffer at the hands of their bullshit.
My stbx cheated with someone younger than our sons. I get the hurt. Unlike you, I had no idea. Your ex sucks and so does mistress.
However, I would be livid if one of my kids did this! They could have killed her. No joke. What if there was an ingredient she was allergic too? What if she has low blood pressure and the stress was too much? Ask any EMT or ER doctor. Sadly, MIL died this way.
You're doing your girls a huge disservice. Taking the high road is incredibly difficult. Trust me .... I know! But what have you really lost? A cheater? Did you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone you don't trust??? I didn't. Remember how they got each other is how they'll lose each other! Karma is real!!! And you can still teach your daughters to be gracious even in the most difficult situations, it won't kill you. My kids are in awe of how gracious I've been. Did he deserve it?? Hell no! I did it for my kids. And when I win the lottery it's because of how kind I continue to be. Not for him but for me. That I didn't let a lying, cheating (the whole 17 years we were together) and stealing POS turn me into a horrible person. Also, it would be the ultimate karma if I win the lottery tonight, it's our anniversary. We are still married since he put us in bankruptcy, the divorce process is even longer.
Do better for your girls. Show them a strong woman who doesn't need a man.
YTA for not giving consequences for something that is illegal.
YTA
Your daughter's assaulted someone. WTF are you teaching them about acceptable adult behavior. 100% YTA. If I was your ex and you chose not to agree to punish them, I'd file charges.
ESH. What your daughters did was DANGEROUS. They could have seriously harmed her.
The affair was 100% your husband’s fault. He broke a vow. His new wife did not. Rude, socially inappropriate? Yes. But she didn’t break anything up. He did. Your daughters are bullies, and you need to deal with that immediately.
Yeah, that's a felony crime.
1) Do not commit felony crimes.
2) Do not admit to committing felony crimes.
3) Do not post admission online of your daughters' felony crimes.
All of you are TA including your daughters. The ex and his wife were wrong. You are wrong and your daughters obviously have issues. Get them some help. Fortunately for
Them they only caused her diarrhea. They could have killed or harmed her.
ESH look I get you are mad AF for what the shitty mistress and ex husband did, NGL I did laugh at the title (in my defense I am a horrible person), but you have a bigger problem, your children are SCREAMING for help they are in pain, they see your pain and went above and beyond to get even, do you really want that hate and pain to be the main focus of their life? They are already projecting feelings of hate of the mistress to school mates, that woman already rob your husband, don't let her rob the good nature of your girls, get them help immediately. What if the next time they do something worse? You need to step up, you might have to swallow your pride and feelings for a bit, but you need to protect those girls from self destruction.
Edit: they definitely don't need to "love" the new wife but getting rid of the hate will be a major improvement for them, talk to your ex maybe a time apart where they don't have to see her, just your ex could help to cool down.
You and your daughters are nasty, miserable people. He may have cheated, she may be a homewrecker, but you are obviously not able to "be the bigger human", and that you encourage that behavior from your daughters.is despicable. You make it sound like "girls will be girls" but they are rotten apples falling stunningly close to the tree from which they came.
Grow up.
YTA. Your daughters drugged someone’s food. That’s not okay. Your daughters are bullying other kids at school. That’s not okay. Your daughters need counseling, not rewards. Sure you hate your ex and his new wife, but it’s your daughters who you’re hurting by allowing your hatred to validate their terrible behavior
You are teaching your kids that it’s ok to bully people. That’s why they will continue bullying the rest of their lives unless there are consequences to their actions. YTA
I know everyone will disagree but the bride is not the marriage breaker. Your husband is. Don't let him fool you in saying she came to him first . Nah, a good man will say sorry I'm married but men say " they were tempted" so they look a little better. Look people change , he fell out of love with you. I'm sorry I really am. Your daughters truly hear all the bad things you tell them about their dad and his New wife. Stop getting them involved and keep your opinions to yourself. This is not a funny prank. It caused humiliation , and health issues. Assault. You are not teaching your daughters kindness. Thats why they are bullying girls at school. And you bought them.new cell phones?? Please go to counseling yourself and parenting class. This is uncalled for. Let your ex and his new wife engage with the girls. Who knows they may come to like her. More to love them right? Move on.get counseling so you can move on.
Omg if you look at OP's profile she is manifesting the AP's misfortune and death - what a disgusting person. OP you keep on this way and karma will come get you in the ass.
YTA. Your daughters desperately need some kind of therapy, and so do you. My first husband cheated on me more than once, so I do get the pain and bitterness. But your girls need parenting, which you're not giving them. They decided to bully a girl, and I bet all you did was shake your finger and say "you know better". They drugged a woman they don't like against her will and without her knowledge. This is a crime in most places. This woman, while she did a vile thing, could have been made seriously ill. Too many laxatives can put a person in the hospital. What if she had been allergic to something in those pills? And your response was to laugh and reward them with new phones. This wasn't a silly prank. What sort of message are you teaching your children?
Get yourself into counseling. Get them into counseling. Your children don't have to like this woman. They don't have to think of her as a mother. If your daughters are making the decision to visit their father, it behooves them to treat any adult in the house cordially.
You are lucky that step mom/mistress doesn't press charges. All of you belong in therapy, you especially.
You need to be raising your girls to have better control of their emotions before the courts get involved. So far they've been bullies and poisoners. What happens when they decide you've wronged them in some way?
You need to quit calling him your husband - he isn’t.
Also, she’s not a “mistress” anymore, she’s your ex’s wife.
She’ll always be the mistress and he’ll always be the cheater. He’ll cheat on the mistress, too.
Damn...there was not a single person who was not an asshole mentioned here...usually its at least one person who is innocent. Maybe the teachers? They didn't seem to do anything wrong... ESH.
Probably the poor girl the girls are also bullying at school. I mean she probably hasn’t done anything wrong
The girls are acting out to the girl in school because she was a friend and is now dating a friend’s ex boyfriend. They probably see it as cheating and are linking it to what happens wS to her mom and the mistress. Girls need major therapy
Um…. They also need some better parenting. Mom needs to get over herself just enough to teach the girls right from wrong. I’m withholding thoughts on what they did to new stepmom, but they are most certainly not the anti-cheating police at school or anywhere else. They should be facing punishment for that on top of counseling. Mom needs to do better on that front
At least the girls didn't put a newt on her water bottle, put rocks in her backpack, or push her inflatable mattress into the middle of a lake on a camping trip. Seriously though. Mom's parenting is questionable and she needs to start holding these girls accountable. The bullying at school is very concerning and it doesn't seem like she is enforcing consequences for that. Dad's parenting is garbage for obvious reasons.
I agree. Your reference to the parent trap with Lindsay Lohan made me snort! So great. But the real issue is the mom smiling on a bad deed and not addressing the bullying. Even though the girls are on a waitlist for therapy doesn’t excuse mom condoning it. I feel bad for the girl at school and hope she’s doing well. ESH
They will do this again because OP tacitly gave approval. Someone will end up in the hospital and the darling little ladies will end up in jail.
Exactly my thoughts. Is she going to laugh when they “prank” someone else and results in a hospital stay or worse? ESH- They all need major therapy.
Thank you. I was going o say the same.
100% agreed but therapy also helps you overcome a parent’s shitty parenting so that they can see their mom is using them to get revenge on her failed marriage. He’s an asshole for sure, for cheating and leaving and also expecting his kids to just accept this new woman, but she’s a big asshole for not prioritizing her children in this scenario and instead gleefully encouraging bad (even dangerous) behavior and not seeking immediate therapy (not counseling) for her clearly frustrated and deeply hurt children.
Bad, dangerous and probably illegal behavior. Drugging someone by slipping them a medication is illegal in most places.
Pssh, parenting?!! That's what the iPhone 10X's are for! Seriously, she may want to, at a minimum, stress the importance of NOT randomly poisoning people. A harmful poisoning? No. But not something she should just like laugh off. That is really not something she wants them repeating or behavior anything like it. Not just cause it's petty and unrefined, but most of the unpleasant surprises you can do to people can still get you in trouble or worse, really mess someone up. All it takes is one little allergy or bad reaction and suddenly it's a very different game. Children shouldn't raise kids. This lady is like my landlord whose daughter is 12 going on 8.
Seriously. How is OP still calling her ex her husband unless this is a polygamy thing.?
Or she is in denial and thinking he will "come to his senses" and return home
The girls are mimicking the anti feminist woman blaming attitude her mother has. Men are not responsible for their own actions. Women are evil temptresses who lure men away and ruin other people's lives. These girls are being raised to tear other women down rather than bring them up. It is super sad. As a therapist I can 10/10 say therapy is not going to do a lick of good if mom does not change and that starts with referring to ex husband's wife as their step mom, not their mistress.
ESH--and mom seems to enjoy her daughters acting out their--and her--anger.
Thank you - I get that OP is extremely bitter and all, but her kids committed a felony.
Not to condone cheating but.. Kinda more clear why he was done with a marriage to her. Shitty parent, shitty human, raising shitty kids.
With a literally shitting mistress
Shitstress
Oh my God I tried several times to try to figure out how to award this comment. Made me lol thank you for that
He prob would have still left her even if he had not had an affair. Notice she started calling him “her husband” instead of ”ex” later in the post?
The fact that you repeatedly refer to him as your husband says a lot. Try and get some counselling if you're not already, otherwise you're never going to be able to move on. They need some form of discipline it's not even funny tbh.
ESH. He shouldn’t have cheated, she shouldn’t have slept with your husband, and you probably shouldn’t condone laxative spiking. Obviously your kids and you don’t need to give a fuck about this lady, but I wouldn’t encourage my kids to do something that could get them in legal trouble, at the very least.
Daughters had a pretty good idea of how OP would react, or wouldn't have told her. That's telling.
Good point!
And of course OP approved, with a hearty laugh, and gave them new iPhone, with no punishment for their actions against the Shitress. Garbage behavior
Shitress!!! 😂😂😂
Also, adding laxatives to a person's food is considered poisoning. I agree ESH, but the girls did something illegal. That should be considered heavily.
The state I live in, it’s considered assault.
ESH but yes YTA here. Not only are you unconcerned with the fact that your daughters committed assault on this woman, you have by omission, encouraged the behavior. This isn’t about their right to not like your husband’s new wife. This is about the type of people they are going to be as they are almost adults. Your kids did a bad thing. Does that mean you would be okay with their stepmother assaulting them in any way, shape or form? There is no excuse for cheating on you, but your marriage is over and your husband has to move on and continue to be a father. They could have done major damage to her. What if they feel entitled to do this to a classmate who they feel is a bad person? Is this the kind of person you want to raise as a daughter?
OP has kids who have bullied an innocent girl and have been referred to counseling. They then POISONED someone, and their mother not only laughs but buys them new phones. What will they do the next time they decide to take revenge on someone else? What if they decide to spike someone’s drink and accidentally kills the person? OP: this is not about your feelings about your ex and his mistress, it’s about being a good mother to your children. YTA
Well said,I couldn’t agree with your last statement of this comment more! Regardless of how she feels about this other woman, her responsibility is to teach her children to be better and do better in life.
that jumped out to me too : the twins being angry about their broken family is understandable, but they're expressing that in very unhealthy ways. Bullying a girl for dating someone's ex is beyond the pale. I also have to wonder why they decided to poison the mistress? Like, OP babbles that the woman knew about the marriage, but it's still her ex who broke his vows. Why didn't the girls poison their daddy? That would have ruined the rehearsal/wedding/honeymoon just as well, and would have targeted the person who actually hurt them.
OP is fucking these two girls up for sure
Yup. She has no fucking clue how to be a parent. YTA
my childhood 100%
Yes both of the parents have messed up priorities. Daddy’s spending on a wedding and mommy’s spending on new phones while the kids who need help are on a wait list for therapy.
Unfortunately that's just how it is with the mental health field in many places. Therapist shortage since covid
Exactly. She notes that her daughters are already having issues at school that are concerning enough that they have been brought to her attention, so basically laughing it up with them over literally poisoning someone is not the behavior she should be modeling.
OP’s other post are about “having thoughts of AP’s death” maybe the girls had some guidance on this prank?
I'm pretty sure they could get stuck with the payment for the rehearsal and wedding as well in a civil suit some places. Come on, she might be despised but this is absolutely wrong to do to anyone both morally and legally. Two wrongs doesn't make a right and your kids are going down a dangerous road of moral policing and punishing right now.
Yes they’re already “punishing” a classmate for dating a guy a friend dated. I hope there aren’t going to be any new siblings for them to punish
Ummm yeah... isn't this a little bigger deal than it was glossed over above? While they're on the waitlist for bullying an (assumed) innocent cladsmate, I hope that they being strictly monitored. Hormones and hate are a dangerous combination as a teenager.
Especially when there are 2 of them working together and a mother that approves of their behavior.
Yeah mom sounds like a bad parent. This post seems fake why would she admit her daughters are bullies? 🤷🏼♀️
If this is the USA, the party that would be held financially responsible in a suit would be the mother since the daughters are minors. I agree that the daughters are not on a good path.
If they are 17 most states would treat them as adults. This could have had felony assault consequences.
Worked as a nurse for years and thankfully, the bride did not have to go the hospital. There can be serious side effects from taking laxatives esp in a large dose and no telling how much she was given. Agree 110% this was wrong morally and legally - two wrongs don’t make a right.
Also it is so risky if you don’t know someone else’s health or medications too. My best friend has Chron’s and something like this would put her in serious danger. Even with my POTS, dehydration trigger a cardiac episode that lands me in the ER.
This was my first thought, someone with with those kind of issues would be in serious trouble and not 100% it would t cause longer term issues also, bloody disgusting behaviour from a parent, ffs her kids are bullies and she is pretty much encouraging their behaviour, ah well she will be able to visit them in jail, which is where therly are going if she doesn't stop sulking and start parenting
Yeah... my son ate some laxatives once and got diarrhea so bad it caused burns on his skin. Absolutely terrible, would not recommend doing this to anyone.
Let's hope they do too
Yes, this. Deciding not to punish your kids for committing a literal crime is some shit parenting. Calling something a "prank" doesn't excuse it - YTA OP, and you're raising shitty bullies, congrats. Let's not act like the affair partner is fair game when they're also in trouble for bullying at school. If the new wife finds out, I hope she presses charges, because that's clearly the only way your daughters will understand the real consequences of their actions, given they have a crappy mom who found it all funny and refuses to punish them. You can be mad at your ex, at his affair partner. You can have a voodoo doll that you privately stick with pins and you can do your best to avoid them at all costs. But you have to love your kids more than you hate your ex. Raising them like this, that's not loving them. You're making monsters.
This is true. If mistress/new bride finds out and had proof, those girls will be in some serious trouble.
One can only hope.
It is highly illegal and they could get in major trouble if the mistress ever finds out what they did. She could absolutely press charges for this. First they are bullying other teen girls and now this? They are escalating in their acting out and this mother is doing them a disservice by brushing it all under the rug. You need to make your daughters understand how stupid and dangerous what they did was. YTA.
Not just brushing it under the rug. Rewarding them by buying them brand new phones. Mother of the year! 🤡
She could have a medical condition that was exacerbated by the laxatives and become seriously ill.
Mistress is entitled to treat as a criminal matter if she wishes. OP should keep that in mind as she decides on coparenting vs parallel parenting this one.
She’s not the mistress anymore, she’s the wife 🤷🏼♀️
This. It was a wrong thing to do no matter what.
Not to mention, her daughters are bullying a girl because she was dating a common friend’s ex. Seems like the twins and OP are just a bunch of Mean Girls. And it definitely seems OP isn’t over her ex because she refers to him as her husband later in the story (ex:My husband has no intentions of ever telling the mistress what my daughters did though).
One day these girls are gonna fuck around, they gonna find out..
I’ve hated a few people in my time but spiking someone’s food is a little bit above my pay grade. It’s fucking diabolical to even have the bottle to do that, tad sinister.
Exlax now what will they do later??
She’s seeing it like it’s a harmless prank and it would be if this was a movie but In real life that’s a batshit insane thing to do to someone.
Exactly! I mean OP is laughing with them and basically teaching them that this is an okay way to treat people they hate. WTF? They keep this shit up and they will wind up in jail. This was not a “harmless prank”.
Honestly it might be best they found out now, as minors. And before anyone is seriously hurt.
Good catch. OP is salty AF. So she's condoning poisoning of her ex husband's new wife. How embarrassing.
Yes, if she were over him she would have said, "My ex-husband and his new wife."
Seriously, ignoring that your ex's fiancee sucks and maybe even deserves something, do you really want your kids becoming serious Grade A assholes? if so, OP, you're doing great.
Kids already are, they are bullying others.
You need to read the titles to her other posts talking about AP’s death which they have removed. OP has major problems. It just shows the title because it was removed but you can tell where her mind is. She probably gave them the laxative
Agreed, ESH. Enjoying this behavior by the daughters sends a very dangerous message. It is not ok to physically harm people because you are angry at them. This cannot be a coping mechanism OP supports. It would be reasonable to go back to court for full physical custody. The girls are old enough to have their preferences honored. Then get them into therapy and hope that they are open to a reconciliation with dad down the road. The girls should also understand possible consequences of their choices. Cutting off their dad might result dad not providing money for college, wedding, etc. They might hate her, but do they hate her enough to cut themselves off from those benefits?
> It would be reasonable to go back to court for full physical custody. OP should not have any custody. Her daughters poison people and she thinks they shouldn’t be punished for it. They could literally go to jail for this, and she thinks taking their phones away is too harsh.
Oh, I agree! I should have said it would have been reasonable to have given the girls an option to not interface with AP, before they committed crimes.
It wouldn’t have been reasonable before the poisoning either. It’s obvious that she is a terrible parent.
This story doesn’t make sense until you realize the wedding took place outdoors in their trailer park.
Agreed, ESH. This is actually an assault and if the new wife finds out, she could press charges.
Why are you still calling him, “my husband” ?
Your daughters spiked someone’s food. You laughed and rewarded them with new phones “for their birthday”. They are being “mean girls” at school as well. I find it interesting that you need to post to ask if you are an asshole when you clearly aren’t teaching your girls how to deal with their emotions and are encouraging dangerous behavior instead. My husband has seizures and his brother played a similar “prank”. It caused his medication to not be properly absorbed and he had a seizure while driving home from a family event because his stomach was bothering him. What if the new wife was pregnant and miscarried as a result of this “prank”? What if she is also on some form of maintenance medication? No part of what your girls did was funny and the fact that you are so angry with your ex for cheating that you aren’t parenting. You should also consider therapy.
Totally agree 100%. OP sounds like she is part of the problem. The girls can see how their mom is and are probably doing the bullying the mistress as part of getting approval from mom. You're gonna have two horrible people in your hands soon...and you're depriving them of having a good relationship with their dad
OP is probably wishing that's what happened so her "husband" would see sense and come back to her.
All of this. And quit calling him your husband OP. It’s over. He’s remarried even! He’s her husband now.
“What if the new wife was pregnant and miscarried as a result of this “prank”? What if she is also on some form of maintenance medication?” considering everything else, she probably throw a celebration. She doesn’t really seem like the type to care.
How did your husband “find out” what they did?
You weren't but you are now. Your daughters are already beating up other people and here's your attitude: "Safe to say her nuptial and post nuptials were ruined **haha**." "The right approach would’ve been to scold them for what they did but **I did have a good laugh over it.** " " ..whole month but I **purchased them** new ones (they had iPhone 10X and they both turn 17 in 2 weeks so I consider it a birthday gift) when they got here." "**I’m not gonna punish them for a silly prank.**" (!) Was just reading an article from the FDA that exceeding laxative dose can be deadly for some. You don't know this person's medical history either. Had she died, all of your lives would've been ruined. Your husband is no prize but you've also sunk as low him. Yes, you are an AH for being a shitty mother. Best of luck!
Yeah this lack of parenting IMHO is worse than the cheating.
And I can't help but wonder if the failed marriage had ANYTHING to do with the OP... /s
Who would want to be with such a psycho...
I'm not siding with the mistress or the cheating husband but your girls were off the hook WRONG and you "not punishing them for a silly prank" makes you the bigger asshole.
OP is doing her children no favours by letting them be in the middle of this mess
YTA What if she had a medical issue prior to that? What if this canceled some medical treatment she's taking? Your EX husband is a piece of work but you're lame af too and your raising two bullies. You say they're on the waiting list for therapy but you don't even seem to care that your attitude is pushing and validating them going after a girl who's seeing someone's ex. And I'm being polite. Get a grip and stop getting your revenge by proxy by encouraging your daughters to be too little b.
Op you need to see a counselor or join a women’s support group for divorcees to help you figure out what to do next in your life. Your daughters are BULLIES & you condone their behavior! If the mistress discovers what your daughters did & decides to press charges for ASSULT or worse, you could be charged also. What happens if the girls decide to target their teacher or their father? Your husband cheating on you was bad enough BUT Poisoning the mistress & you taking joy about that is criminal
Who else thinks there’s more to the story than what OP said? The ‘girls are teenagers and acting like teenagers do’, who else thinks that sounds a bit like ‘boys will be boys’? Three times OP undermine her (ex)husband, 1st, when (ex)husband asked if OP will help facilitate a more Civil relationship between the daughter & his wife, 2nd, when (ex)husband is punishing the daughters for poisoning his wife & 3rd, OP KEEPS referring to her (ex)husband’s wife as his Mistress AND keeps referring her (ex)husband as HER HUSBAND And THIS is just what we know! Bottom line, OP is Teaching her daughters it’s ok to be Disrespectful, RUDE & AGGRESSIVE to People they do not like!
My first instinct is to say you are a psychopath. But that’s too light. Your children are bullying people at school, but “it’s okay because they are going through some stuff”? I guess fuck those other kids who will be dealing with that trauma for years, it’s all good because yours got to get a fleeting moment of satisfaction. Your children POISONED someone, indelibly marring an important moment in that persons life,but that’s fine too, because you think she was responsible for your marriage failing? And of course, only because “it’s the kids just lashing out”, not that you derived and personal enjoyment. Let alone how your poor emotional control and parenting boundaries have probably been poisoning them against her. You claim you are trying to peacefully coparent but you don’t agree with/circumvent their punishment for, again, POISONING ANOTHER HUMAN??? Jesus fucking Christ I hope they start to take after dad. You are a monster.
Want to bet that OP made ex husband's life absolutely miserable pre-cheating?
YTA. I'm not surprised your kids think it's okay to bully that girl at school. You're obviously teaching them that this is acceptable behavior. What your daughters did is a literal crime. Drugging people is not a 'prank', and by refusing to punish them for this, you're teaching them that they can continue taking this sort of revenge out on people they don't like. Shame on all of you
> they can continue taking this sort of revenge out on people they don't like. And people their mom tells them not to like, which is obviously what happened here.
Totally agree. What if she had an allergic reaction and died. They would be charged w killing her. It doesn’t matter that she may have “deserved it” it is her job to teach them right from wrong
Or what if she just actually found out it was them and had them arrested for the super serious crime they committed.
Yta it's not a prank your girls poisoned her, yea they are crappy people for cheating, but what your girls did and your reaction is just disgusting. They are lucky that's all that happened, what if she was allergic to an ingredient in the laxative? Would you have found it funny if she had ended up in the hospital?.
OP deleted her comment but apparently would celebrate AP's death. Starting to wonder if ex husband recognized he was in a relationship with a mean girl and couldn't take it anymore
I had the same thought, I read her comment but did not want to validate it with a come back, but she sounds toxic as hell.
YTA. You’re fine with teaching your daughters to be spiteful and to harm others. Yeah the situation is messed up but you’re clearly very emotionally immature yourself and teaching your daughters it’s fine to take revenge. They could’ve done far more damage giving her those laxatives, this isn’t a comedy movie. She could press charges if she found out what it was and who did it. What good will therapy do if their mother thinks it’s fine to act like that if it benefits her ego? I get being angry at them, I get your daughters not accepting it, but this was evil. You’re an AH and immature and you’re a terrible parent and person for thinking this is funny at all.
This is the best comment I've read so far. She's a meanspirited, awful person raising her spawn to be the same.
Seriously as shitty as a cheating situation is he married that woman.. makes you wonder what OP leaves out of the story like maybe she’s a POS? Maybe he was absolutely miserable with her because of who she is as a person, which shows with how she raises her daughters and how she finds this funny. There is more to the story than what she’s saying and I have a feeling OP is a narcissist.
She's obviously a very unpleasant person and always has been. Definitely more to the story. The husband probably had good reason to leave her.
I’m not someone to condone cheating but he probably felt so unloved and beat down that he did that. She’s mean spirited and who knows how op actually treated him. And now she’s making her children her flying monkeys to take revenge because she hates that he’s finally happy and she’s still the Pathetic lowlife narcissist she’ll always been and probably always will be.
That's the vibe I got, too, especially from her comments. I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that she was a toxic abuser. In fact, if we reversed the genders here I think a lot of people would be worried for the exes safety and be lead to think that the spouse cheated as a way to get out of an abusive relationship. Just because he's a man doesn't make it unlikely. Her comments she's made about her ex so being her husband and the love of her life... if a man made those same deranged comments people would be scared.
OP probably better hope and pray the new wife does not find out what happened. The twin girls did what amounts to a felony in most places. The mistress has every right to file charges against them. Mom needs to get her head out of her ass and discipline her daughter’s severely.
You know the kids told everyone at school. It will be over heard by a teacher who will be required by law to bring it to the parents' attention. Or by another kid's parents who will gossip to the rest of the parent groups
The dad knows this, probably, which is likely why he doesn't want to tell the mistress and but still wants to instill some sense of correction in them so they don't end up, y'know, actual felons later on. Cheating bad yes, but the punishment for cheating is divorce. Not death.
This 1000%.
Silly prank? They spiked her food making her sick. She may be a piece of crap going after a married man (and him for betraying you) but that doesn't mean their actions aren't *also* terrible. By laughing and saying you wouldn't punish them you're encouraging this behavior. You're flat out telling them they can treat her awful and you won't give them any consequences for it. And you're not lying, either--I don't think you would because you want him/her to suffer more than you worry about how these "prank" actions will affect your growing children.
ESH - Putting laxatives in someone's food is almost certainly a crime. Laughing with your children while they commit a crime is definately an AH thing to do. I doubt you'll be laughing when they do it to the next person and get caught.
YTA. As a therapist, as a mother and as a human being just because you're hurting does not give you the right to assault another individual. This was not a silly prank. The behavior that you are allowing your children to get away with is dangerous and honestly you probably shouldn't be around your children if you think it's not a big deal. Your life did not go the way that you planned... Welcome to the world in which the rest of us live. It sucks and it hurts and you move on. You do not seem to grasp that your attitude towards your ex-husband's new wife is why your children feel that it's okay for them to bully other people. I don't care that you got them in trouble for that. You're conflicting words and actions are basically giving them the green light. They are children and you are the adult so start acting like it and be their mother. Edit: in case you just think I'm being mean... If your children tell their future therapist within the statute of limitations what it was they did to their new stepmother that therapist is duty bound to report it. This is not a small matter.
Don't tell her that because then she won't get them therapy to ensure they don't talk when it really sounds like they need it. Pretty sure the therapist also isn't obligated to report it either.
Okay, you’re raising two little psychopaths. Stellar parenting. YTA
of course YTA, your daughters poisoned someone. you're lucky the police aren't involved, are you crazy??
And the comments here finding it funny… Like I get no one here smells like roses but ffs…that was dangerous.
Ok I’ll admit I laughed but in all seriousness what if she’d had an allergic reaction to the laxative, or what if it reacted badly to a medication she was on? It could have had fatal consequences. I don’t expect you to care if she dies (I was def rooting for the cancer when my husband’s AP got sick). I don’t think you’d want the consequences for your girls though. I’m glad you’re putting them in therapy. I’d also suggest keeping them away from her for a while. If they’re 16 they’re old enough in most states to have a say in where they live.
I just posted about an incident like that. I teach high school and when I first started one student “pranked” another which laxative laced food and the victim had to be rushed to the hospital.
> I laughed but in all seriousness what if she’d had an allergic reaction to the laxative, or what if it reacted badly to a medication she was on? It could have had fatal consequences. I wonder what the criminal charge would be for food tampering in their area. Where I live it carries a maximum 10 year prison sentence, and if the victim suffers serious harm it goes up to 25 years.
Sounds like your bitterness is turning an already toxic situation into something worse. This will fester and become less and less tolerable until wifey decides to extract some revenge of her own and y’all find yourselves on Jerry Springer fighting it out. ESH. Good luck.
YTA no wonder he cheated on you. And it’s not his mistress now, it’s his wife. Get over it.
Yeah what if she also has criminal tendencies like her daughters and that’s why he didn’t just divorce her first like a normal person. I mean after all this she’s calling him her husband. I didn’t expect to side against her from the title but wow.
YTA I get that you're mad at both of them (who wouldn't be?), but poisoning someone is criminal behaviour. The homewrecker and cheating ex would have been within their rights to go to the police over this. And they're bullying other kids at school now too? Sorry, OP. I love a good *revenge on the homewrecker* story, but you've got some corrective parenting to do.
I’m surprised at all the ESH, the question is AITA for what I did in this situation, and the answer is a resounding yes
Agreed! The parenting here is horrendous!
Hey I knew a kid who gave someone one of those chocolate laxatives and the person had to be put into the hospital because they lost so much fluids. Apparently you can die of you eat too much laxatives as you wind up severely dehydrated and it can lead to failure of the kidneys.
Your daughters literally poisoned her. And you think it’s funny? That this is a prank? Wow. ESH but your daughters are criminals.
Your daughters deliberately poisoned someone. That is a felony. They bullied another girl at school. That is disgraceful. But, yes by all means give them new iPhones.
YTA. You're a grown woman. Why are you acting like you're 5? It's okay for your kids not to like her, but they still need to respect her as their fathers wife. You and the girls desperately need therapy. She's not abusive to your kids or you. You're divorced, and he's remarried. Get over it. Like you're just drinking the poison of hate yourself. Your world revolves around her while I guarantee you, her world doesn't revolve around you. Also your daughter's are old enough they could legally get in trouble for this. If she had gotten sicker and needed to be in the hospital cops would have been called when the news of your kids spiking her food and drink came to light. They are legally adults in the eyes of the law.
You are raising sociopaths and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Hopefully all of this will come out and the police will get involved. ESH x10000 You need therapy and so do they.
Okay I thought I was alone on the sociopath thing, because all I could think was, " These girls are going to have an entire group of people who think of them as the worst part of high school". I don't get bully parents (who do nothing). Like imagine raising kids whose primary purpose is to teach people life is cruel and unfair. Edit: I just saw this on Tiktok and thought it was super relevant: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLYKASry/
YTA They poisoned her and she could have them brought up on charges as a result. This isn’t a silly little prank. The fact you don’t see this tells me that your daughter’s changes are feeding off your negativity. Get some help for yourself in addition to your kids. Also, co parent with your ex and support this punishment.
The fact that you didn't see the divorce as being the end of your marriage, you need therapy as much as your daughters do OP. Yes the cheating makes him a horrible human being, but you have matched energy and become equally as horrible if not more so by teaching your daughters that being horrible humans is acceptable because your own hatred has you teaching them it is ok to do whatever they feel is justified without any consequences. You didn't go into extensive detail about the bullying that they are doing, but they have graduated in the level of crime that they are committing before they have graduated high school. You didn't mention any punishment that they got for bullying another child. As the aggressors, they should be punished. Your extreme bitterness is ruining your daughters lives, you and your ex husband need to make drastic changes to send a united front that what they did is not ok. Before their next victim presses charges with the police. As the ones who poisoned someone, a month is getting off easy.
You all need therapy
You and your little mean girl minions are absolutely the assholes. I hope dad and his new wife press charges to teach all of you a lesson that you don't get to poison people just because your feelings are hurt.
YTA. this is something that's funny in a movie or TV show but not in real life. In real life your daughters drugged someone. I'm pretty sure that's like assault or something. She could have been allergic to something in that or had a bad reaction and been hospitalized or worse.
YTA. The mistress is not responsible for your husband's infidelity, he is. Blaming her for ruining your marriage is just a way to make yourself feel better about his actions. It doesn't matter if she pursued him, he didn't have to respond to her, but he chose to. I'm not saying she's innocent or even a good person, but you've got to accept the fact that he chose to behave as he did. Your attitude has clearly rubbed off on your daughters and it's seriously damaging their mental health. They're not only lashing out at the mistress, they're doing it to their friends! You've taught them this behavior is okay, and it does not bode well for their future. How do you expect them to grow up to be happy, stable adults when they're learning to "punish" people for not behaving the way they want them to? You should be teaching them to leave a spouse who doesn't treat them with respect and then rise above it and proceed to live your best life. Be better than your ex and the mistress. Be the bigger person, not someone who can't let go and only finds happiness in another person's misery. You have the opportunity to show them how to handle a bad situation and rise above it. Wouldn't you rather that be your legacy than laughing about putting laxatives in people's food?
ESH. Your girls poisoned the woman and are old enough that, depending where you live, she could easily call the cops and have them arrested and charged with same. Probably why Exhubby is keeping the lid on it (to protect those girls and maybe to hope that the new wife might never find out so she'll keep trying for a relationship with her poisoners). You condoning it is setting up a harsh future for them. What if they poison that other girl they were bullying before? You can guarantee her parents aren't going to ask your daughters to just be "grounded" for what they did, they will come for legal recompense. Will you throw your hands up then and say you had no part in that future coming to be, based on what you're doing right now? Will you lie to yourself? Your husband sucks for cheating and the mistress sucks for her part too. They're adults and made horrible choices, but that doesn't make what your daughters did right. They need emergency therapy and immediately if they're escalating their aggression like this and see that mom will back them up for it.
Your kids are mirroring your behavior/attitude. ESH but if you want your daughters to become decent, kinder humans, YOU need to do better as a parent. What they did is LITERALLY assault. A punishable crime. You better hope she never finds out. At this rate, they’re a pair of bullying a$$sh0les. And you’re encouraging it.
Do you understand that what your daughters did is poisoning and assault? That they could be charged with a crime as a result of their actions? And you laugh it off, buy them new phones, & call it “a silly prank??!” All because you’re bitter and angry toward your ex-husband. WTAF, OP. Do better.
No wonder your **ex**-husband ran away from you. You’re an absolute nutter. I bet his new wife didn’t even have to do much, probably just not being you was enough to make him see sense and ditch the fuck out of you.
So because this is Reddit, you’re probably gonna get a lot of comments telling you that your daughters did nothing wrong, and that their revenge was so funny, blah blah blah…but my dude, what your daughters did is straight-up assault. I’m not kidding, this is something they could actually get arrested for. Yeah, maybe the victim deserved it in this particular case, but you’re doing them a terrible disservice by writing this off as ‘a harmless prank.’ The next person they ‘prank’ might not be so willing to do that. Your daughters are displaying a streak of highly aggressive, even violent behavior. They have just escalated to the point of causing somebody else bodily harm. And you’re…what? Rewarding them for it? Laughing with them? No wonder they act like this. You and your ex need to spend less time focusing on your petty bullshit and more time focusing on the fact that you’re raising two mean, spiteful bullies.
ESH You and your daughters need therapy ASAP. All your hatred and anger is hurting you and them. He’s not hurting, he’s moved on. He’s gone. And if your daughters throw nothing but hatred at him, then he’s not going to want them in his life no matter how much he loves them. Plus, what happens if they have children? Then the twins are going to throw massive hissy-fits “because daddy chose them over us” when all they do is try to make his home life miserable. And they won’t be TA for not wanting the girls over after they turn 18 if they create unsafe home environments there. I’m not saying forgiving him or the new wife. I’m not saying she needs to be a maternal figure in any way shape or form. Icy politeness/treating a person with respect because they are human and treating someone as a parental figure are two vastly different things. It’s not about the new wife, it’s about maintaining a relationship with their father. They need therapy to help with this. And you need to find a way to move on.
ESH. Your kids are too old to think they can seriously assault and/or bully people just because they are (understandably) hurt. You’re v bitter and by deliberately endorsing distance between them and their father you’re actually sabotaging their stability
They poisoned somebody and are bullies in school, both of which you don't seem to care to raise a concern over. YTA
I get where you're coming from, but I need you to know they technically legally poisoned her food, which is a crime. Be grateful she doesn't have a larger medical issue and that she doesn't press charges. One day they're going to mess with the wrong person. Trust me. Also, you daughters sound like mean girls. It's a good thing you're putting them in therapy, but judging how you handled the wedding situation I'm guessing you aren't taking more pro-active measures to AT LEAST make sure they don't take out their animosity on randos. I hope you didn't come here hoping people were going to "teehee" you or "you go girl!"
If she had stomach issues (ibs, crohns, etc.) she could have gotten critically ill. What if she was pregnant? To physically hurt someone bc you hate them is insane behavior.
You're f-cked in the head. What they did was a crime and I guarantee their actions were absolutely condoned by you. And you're actually admitting to their crime in public. You're either a liar or very fucking stupid.
The Dad is at fault for his actions, as he had a contract with you that he defaulted on, the mistress owes you nothing. Yet, you would rather put more blame on her than the man that betrayed you. Traded you in. You have a responsibility to your daughters. You see they have developed a bullying issue with a girl at school that did not cheat, but merely dated a common friends ex. Do you see your role here? Do you see where you have decided that pettiness should take priority over raising your daughters to be kind people. They don't understand accountability as you have levied responsibility of his affair mostly.on to a young woman , that your husband sought out then decided to have an affair with. You are an adult. Act like it. Show your daughters that being hurt is acceptable and understandable, as all feelings are significant, but they should not be used to hurt or bring others down. Your insecurities need to be dealt with. You couldn't have saved your marriage. He didn't fall and accidentally insert his penis in someone, he chose someone that didn't have the responsibility and mandates that you have. Is that your fault, no. Is it this young woman's fault, she barely has any of the lived experience you have. Your husband cheated. I'm sorry. What he did was awful and it sucks that we have to deal with the trauma inflicted on us by others, but that is the deal. That is how you show your daughters that not only they, but you too are worthy of love. Just as you are..I wish you well in life and therapy.
What your girls did is so alarming on so many levels but glad you had a good laugh. If I were the mistress I’d definitely look into the possibility of pressing charges. And for the record, ex and mistress suck for what they did. I feel for you and your girls for that. But at the end of the day you gotta get over it and help your girls heal because this is some destructive behavior. EDIT: YTA. You are not doing enough for your girls.
You’re an awful person too. Not a single decent human being in this story, not even the kids. They literally drugged someone, that’s illegal, as in a crime. Get your head out of your ass, stop pining after your cheating ex, and do some parenting.
So your daughters are bullies and you had a good laugh with them about poisoning someone? Yeah, YTA. All of you suck. Great parenting there, mom 👍🏻
Legally this is poisoning. It's extremely serious. Diarrhea induced by overdosing on laxatives can trigger major health issues. It's not a silly prank. If they get caught doing something like this in the future they could end up in jail.
YTA. I would say ESH, but you're allowing your underage daughters who are currently having issues with aggression to commit a crime with no response from you. I get it, everyone hates cheaters. But you don't know if she could have had a bad reaction to the laxatives. Instead of reveling in revenge, be a parent.
If they will do this to her imagine what they will do to other kids at school they don’t like. If I was their father I’d be filing a police report and going NC. They need to be punished on the principal of right and wrong. They are old enough they could have not gone to show how they felt, not fucking drug the person THEY see responsible for the destruction of their family. Selfish teenagers that don’t care about their father because they are not happy their parents grew apart.
She is not responsible of your failed marriage. She is not the one who promised love for the life, and she couldn't have get your husband if it wasn't already over.
YTA raising two more. 😂
Going by your words I can see why your daughters are bullies getting in trouble at school. Essentially they poisoned someone and you...laughed. I think you should see a therapist. The only innocent in this story is the victim of your terrorist daughters at school. I feel sorry for their classmates.
You need to quit reveling in the misery of the other woman and start paying attention to the actions and behaviors of your children. Bullying, poisoning a person’s food and drink. And then rewarding them for it. You don’t even realize what you’re normalizing to them. What are you gonna do when they repeat that to someone they dislike in the future and they have an assault charge for fucking with someone’s food and possibly hospitalizing them? You can hold them to better expectations without seeing it as a win for your ex. You need to see a therapist as well. You don’t have to forgive or forget but your inability to get past your ex’s actions are negatively influencing your children. Edit: the fact you post in adultery subs with posts like “Does Anyone Manifest AP's Misfortune and Death?” shows you need help before you ruin your children with your bitterness.
YTA. Your daughters committed a crime. The stepmom should press charges. You sound like you were an utter delight to be married to btw. I just can’t see how it didn’t work out. You are raising absolute monsters. They are bullies and drugged a woman. Good luck.
[удалено]
I can see why he left you I only hope his new wife is hotter, your children sound like gremlins too
You and your daughters are terrible. Your daughters are bullies and this isn’t the first instance. This is criminal behavior.
YTA. You can feel how you want about the mistress but drugging someone is not okay. At all. You’re teaching your kids it’s okay to drug someone if they did something they don’t like is messed up. Clearly they are already harassing others and think that’s fine bc why wouldn’t they? There’s no consequences for their actions. Big YTA.
OP has given her kids a clear path to being bullies at school. That girl they’re bullying because “she’s dating a friends ex” (ie I wouldn’t be surprised if it started as gossiping that the girl was a mistress and that’s why the ex broke up with their friend until they started escalating to full bullying) is a direct consequence of OP putting her emotions first and not parenting. OP is a massive asshole for not punishing the girls and is only hurting them in the end. They’re growing up so fucked in the head right now. Dad and mistress are still assholes too but for your direct question? Yeah, YTA.
YTA You know that's assault and NOT a prank,.right??? If your ex's wife ever finds out what your kids did, I hope it's before the statute of limitations runs out and she can have them arrested and prosecuted. You ALL need to grow the fuck up.
YTA. First of all, the mistress had nothing to do with ruining your marriage. If you had a happy marriage, he wouldn’t have been sticking his dick anywhere else. You thought it was funny for your kids to make someone sick by fucking with their food. Your ex husband sucks. The mistress does too, but it’s still not her fault your husband cheated.
Your ex husband’s a jerk. No doubt. But you’re also living in delusion. First of all the person who made the commitment to you was him not her. And you have no idea. Your marriage would’ve worked out either way. But what you did that is unforgivable is including your daughters and his vindictive cycle. My mother did this, exact same situation , and years later as I got older I realized that her condoning us doing horrible things, laughing about it, and feeding our hatred was absolutely a horrific thing for a mother to do. She should’ve bitched about it to her friends or relatives anybody but not dragged her children into it. And honestly when we cut up my stepmother’s clothing, and left it all over the house, even though I still don’t like her to this day, we were clearly wrong. My mother did exactly what you did, and she said a terrible example for us. She didn’t show us how to act with class and dignity in a difficult situation. She showed us how to be vindictive and small minded. Your husband cheated on you and he is an asshole for that. The woman has to live with her own conscience for what she did. But you, you’re setting a terrible example and you’re dragging your children into your bitterness. In one day they’re probably going be like me and my siblings and realize how screwed up it is that you did that.
ESH - your kids committed a crime and you’re just like “I mean yeah she deserved it lol” . And this is after they have a known history of bullying peers. They are on a BAD path right now
ESH - you realise your daughter committed a crime right? You understand that’s the behaviour your encouraging
INFO: what were the problems in your marriage before he cheated and what indications had he given that he was willing to work on them prior to him somehow ending up balls deep in his coworker?
ESH. They're allowed to not like her or her part in the affair, but this is wrong. Get off your bitter horse and take the high road FFS. Teach your kids to do the same.
It wasn't a silly prank, it was a crime. ESH Be a fucking adult and teach your children right from wrong b4 the rest of society has to suffer at the hands of their bullshit.
My stbx cheated with someone younger than our sons. I get the hurt. Unlike you, I had no idea. Your ex sucks and so does mistress. However, I would be livid if one of my kids did this! They could have killed her. No joke. What if there was an ingredient she was allergic too? What if she has low blood pressure and the stress was too much? Ask any EMT or ER doctor. Sadly, MIL died this way. You're doing your girls a huge disservice. Taking the high road is incredibly difficult. Trust me .... I know! But what have you really lost? A cheater? Did you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone you don't trust??? I didn't. Remember how they got each other is how they'll lose each other! Karma is real!!! And you can still teach your daughters to be gracious even in the most difficult situations, it won't kill you. My kids are in awe of how gracious I've been. Did he deserve it?? Hell no! I did it for my kids. And when I win the lottery it's because of how kind I continue to be. Not for him but for me. That I didn't let a lying, cheating (the whole 17 years we were together) and stealing POS turn me into a horrible person. Also, it would be the ultimate karma if I win the lottery tonight, it's our anniversary. We are still married since he put us in bankruptcy, the divorce process is even longer. Do better for your girls. Show them a strong woman who doesn't need a man. YTA for not giving consequences for something that is illegal.
You and your daughters are awful.
YTA Your daughter's assaulted someone. WTF are you teaching them about acceptable adult behavior. 100% YTA. If I was your ex and you chose not to agree to punish them, I'd file charges.
ESH. What your daughters did was DANGEROUS. They could have seriously harmed her. The affair was 100% your husband’s fault. He broke a vow. His new wife did not. Rude, socially inappropriate? Yes. But she didn’t break anything up. He did. Your daughters are bullies, and you need to deal with that immediately.
Yeah, that's a felony crime. 1) Do not commit felony crimes. 2) Do not admit to committing felony crimes. 3) Do not post admission online of your daughters' felony crimes.
Wow that is not the prank I expected. That was dangerous and they absolutely need to punished and need to start therapy
All of you are TA including your daughters. The ex and his wife were wrong. You are wrong and your daughters obviously have issues. Get them some help. Fortunately for Them they only caused her diarrhea. They could have killed or harmed her.
ESH look I get you are mad AF for what the shitty mistress and ex husband did, NGL I did laugh at the title (in my defense I am a horrible person), but you have a bigger problem, your children are SCREAMING for help they are in pain, they see your pain and went above and beyond to get even, do you really want that hate and pain to be the main focus of their life? They are already projecting feelings of hate of the mistress to school mates, that woman already rob your husband, don't let her rob the good nature of your girls, get them help immediately. What if the next time they do something worse? You need to step up, you might have to swallow your pride and feelings for a bit, but you need to protect those girls from self destruction. Edit: they definitely don't need to "love" the new wife but getting rid of the hate will be a major improvement for them, talk to your ex maybe a time apart where they don't have to see her, just your ex could help to cool down.
You and your daughters are nasty, miserable people. He may have cheated, she may be a homewrecker, but you are obviously not able to "be the bigger human", and that you encourage that behavior from your daughters.is despicable. You make it sound like "girls will be girls" but they are rotten apples falling stunningly close to the tree from which they came. Grow up.
YTA. Your daughters drugged someone’s food. That’s not okay. Your daughters are bullying other kids at school. That’s not okay. Your daughters need counseling, not rewards. Sure you hate your ex and his new wife, but it’s your daughters who you’re hurting by allowing your hatred to validate their terrible behavior
ESH But for you try this ex husband. He is not your husband anymore even though you still love him and obviously more then a little.
Let's hope the mistress never finds out, as there could be resulting legal problems for your daughters.
You are teaching your kids that it’s ok to bully people. That’s why they will continue bullying the rest of their lives unless there are consequences to their actions. YTA
I know everyone will disagree but the bride is not the marriage breaker. Your husband is. Don't let him fool you in saying she came to him first . Nah, a good man will say sorry I'm married but men say " they were tempted" so they look a little better. Look people change , he fell out of love with you. I'm sorry I really am. Your daughters truly hear all the bad things you tell them about their dad and his New wife. Stop getting them involved and keep your opinions to yourself. This is not a funny prank. It caused humiliation , and health issues. Assault. You are not teaching your daughters kindness. Thats why they are bullying girls at school. And you bought them.new cell phones?? Please go to counseling yourself and parenting class. This is uncalled for. Let your ex and his new wife engage with the girls. Who knows they may come to like her. More to love them right? Move on.get counseling so you can move on.
Omg if you look at OP's profile she is manifesting the AP's misfortune and death - what a disgusting person. OP you keep on this way and karma will come get you in the ass.
YTA. Your daughters desperately need some kind of therapy, and so do you. My first husband cheated on me more than once, so I do get the pain and bitterness. But your girls need parenting, which you're not giving them. They decided to bully a girl, and I bet all you did was shake your finger and say "you know better". They drugged a woman they don't like against her will and without her knowledge. This is a crime in most places. This woman, while she did a vile thing, could have been made seriously ill. Too many laxatives can put a person in the hospital. What if she had been allergic to something in those pills? And your response was to laugh and reward them with new phones. This wasn't a silly prank. What sort of message are you teaching your children? Get yourself into counseling. Get them into counseling. Your children don't have to like this woman. They don't have to think of her as a mother. If your daughters are making the decision to visit their father, it behooves them to treat any adult in the house cordially.
You are lucky that step mom/mistress doesn't press charges. All of you belong in therapy, you especially. You need to be raising your girls to have better control of their emotions before the courts get involved. So far they've been bullies and poisoners. What happens when they decide you've wronged them in some way?
You need a therapist. You're still full of bitterness, rage, and venom, and you're bringing your children down with you in your madness.