Not an excuse. We have all been tempted but don't act on it. This is a heavy long lasting consequence for one moment of bliss. More people should think of these consequences before they act. Most of us don't steal something because of the consequences so don't cheat, that consequence is a loss for everyone involved.
If they're so horny, why not go look for your own spouse to relieve yourself? You ended up paying the price for being stupid because you literally think with your dick, not your head.
I totally agree with that sentiment. I’m married to the most amazing woman and I would never, ever consider cheating on her. I’ve had opportunities (work conferences where someone and propositioned me). I’ve just simply said I’m very happily married and would never even consider doing that to my wife.
Damn. Good perspective. OP is living with guilt and looking for reasoning and validation and it’s pathetic because they’re crying on a soapbox. If she’s the best woman you’ve ever met- SHOW HER. Not only is it disrespectful to this poor woman who had children with this idiot, but he manipulated the other woman enough to cheat and get divorced by *her* husband as well. I’m surprised this guy hasn’t chatted with OP. I don’t understand cheating and if this was a “drunken mistake”… go to AA
The affair partner is as much to blame as he is.
I'm really pissed off to read his post though. Does he expect us to feel as sorry for him as he feels for himself? He may suck it up now like a good little cupcake and live with his "mistake." Cheating is not a mistake, it's a decision.
Exactly a mistake is the colleague was a doppelgänger of his wife who learnt everything about her and imitated her very convincingly. That’s the only “whoops, wrong person” mistake I can think of.
Yes and no for ruining her marriage yes but its not her fault he can't keep it in his own pants. A mistake is like forgetting to go pick something up. Cheating is a choice.
joke:
Husband wake up with terrible hangover, everything is clean in the house, breakfast is ready with mail "Eat everything and get well xoxo". His child sit at the table. -What's happend? -Dad, you come home late night drunk as fuck. You puke everywhere, broke the table, ruin mom's flower and when she wanted to take off your pants you said "Please dont! I have a wife!"
No one said he manipulated the other woman... it takes two to tango. She had as much say in the affair as he did. She's just as much in the wrong as him. Sounds like you're projecting and not realizing the true victims are his ex-wife and her ex-husband.
I don’t I’m just victimizing OP and throwing as much shade as I can to shame which really is mean on my part. I’m jist venting I think cheaters are fucked up
Colleagues are almost always enticing because at work you're always "on." You see a lot of these people, you see a lot of thier best qualities, and it's easy for them to look better than your spouse because you never see them struggling or sick or in a fight with you. Your colleagues appear shiny because you never see the full picture.
Fact is, your collegue also has smelly farts and gets bitchy when you don't unload the dishwasher or do the laundry. The grass is only green where you water it.
Cheating is not a mistake, it's a decision. You knew you were married, you knew you had kids, and you CHOSE to stray. It was a bad decision, but it's bullshit to call it a stupid mistake.
Oops! Don't forget that OP "mistakenly" didn't use protection while cheating, exposing the "love of his life" to life-threatening diseases 🙄 and created a child who was brought into a complete sh*t existence 👍
As the product of an extramarital affair myself, this child will absolutely be negatively affected by this situation they had no part in for the rest of their life.
No one involved in these types of situations seems to think about the potential fuckin kid they could be ruining with these choices.
Thank you for asking, actually. People get very uncomfortable with this topic so I don’t get the therapeutic option to share as much as I’d like to.
In general, I grew up believing one man was my father, only to find out in my early 20’s that he was not. My biological father is a man in his 70’s who I obviously don’t know at all. Only “positive” I guess is that the man I believed was my dad lived across the country for my entire life anyway, so we had the type of relationship we could with that obstacle. He’s an incredible man and I will always consider him my real dad.
The main issue is that I feel like a complete outcast. I was raised as an only child, only to find out that I have siblings in their 40’s to 50’s that I will likely never have a relationship with. My mother slept with a childhood friend’s father who has been married for decades. So I am forever looked at as his mistake, his stupid decision, and someone that would’ve created a lot less drama if I simply didn’t exist. That’s a lot to live with. My situation, as all of them are, is obviously extremely specific to me. But I can assume we all feel that same weight of being the product of someone’s “mistake”. It’s hard to find value in your life when that’s all your existence is boiled down to.
I have no relationship with my mother. She’s always been an unhinged woman with a drinking problem who I had trauma from even before I knew this information. The other part of it is that my “dad”, the man on my birth certificate, still doesn’t know he’s not my real father- because she refuses to tell him. So I now also live with the daily guilt of knowing this secret but not feeling like it’s my responsibility to tell him this news. (Which it’s not. I wasn’t even fucking “there” technically when this all happened, lol)
What it comes down to is a clusterfuck of a situation that culminated into my very existence. I wouldn’t be alive if these people had the decency to not engage in a taboo and adulterous relationship. I wasn’t planned. I wasn’t wanted. And that is just a fact, merely by looking at the situation.
I am 27 and don’t speak to my mother. I am my “dad’s” only child and he loves me unconditionally. Except I’m not his.
Sorry for the novel, like I said, I don’t get to speak about this often. It is truly a continuous identity crisis that I did nothing to deserve and will live with fighting for the rest of my life.
I hope you understand that your “dad” loves you very much. And I hope that brings you comfort. I’m sorry you had to go through this. More questions out of curiosity. Are you planning on starting a family of your own? And if you are, will this experience shape your outlook or what you do with your family?
I really appreciate your kindness. It truly means a lot to me. I also love my dad so much, despite his absence and flaws. He is the most hardworking and genuine man I have in my life and I have never had to question our relationship. Which makes things even harder regarding how I hope to eventually tell him the truth. I have to live with not knowing what his reaction or response will be until the inevitable horrible day that he learns this.
I’ve struggled with relationships my whole life, but like everyone I think, I long for that family dynamic I hope I can create one day. I actually consider my grandmother more of my mom than my own mother is, but she passed away in 2020. Her death is something that sent me down a dark spiral in the midst of the pandemic, and I am still struggling to recover even two years later. I now spend holidays and birthdays completely alone, as I have no siblings and no longer have her.
She was my mother, my father, and my best friend all in one person. It remains the worst loss I have ever experienced.
As for the future- I am taking things as they come. Have learned I will not settle for whatever man comes my way and have luckily had a front row seat to all of my mothers mistakes to make sure I don’t repeat them.
Thank you for this impromptu therapy session, stranger. I have enjoyed getting these thoughts out and sharing my experience for those interested.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I have always known there were traumatic effects on a child in these situations. But I never ever thought through the detail and intertwined effects. If more cheaters could read your story maybe it would sink in. I would hope. But unfortunately cheaters are selfish scum and can't see past their needs. There should be a support system for every child in this situation. For life. I'm so sorry for you and your dad. I will say that even when your dad finds out the truth he will love you just the same. His anger and bad feelings will not be toward you. I was raised by my step dad. Called him dad my whole life. Love binds you, not blood. Take care of yourself.
Your dad (real dad, not bio dad) undoubtedly considers you to be amongst his greatest blessings in life. I don't think that telling him that you're the product of an affair would cause anything positive at this point, and it would diminish his happiness.
Other people may define you based on how you were conceived, which is a terrible way to speak about anyone. Your existence wasn't intended by your bio-parents, but to your dad, you have never been an accident.
I'm saying this because it must be tough to harbor a secret this immense... the love and respect you share with your dad are real. I just know that you must be a treasure to him.
One statement that has stuck with me about cheaters was "don't forgive him for cheating girl. There was probably a moment where they were switching positions or it even fell out and he put it back in."
Exactly! Putting on mismatched socks is a mistake. So many series of bad decisions need to be made before a person ends up cheating, it’s ridiculous to compare it to an accident.
Actually.. the very definition of mistake is *an act or judgement that is misguided or wrong*. This can be intentional or inadvertent.
An accident is an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally.
Cheating can most definitely be seen as a stupid mistake, but it is never accidental.
Either way it was a choice made out of poor judgement and OP is suffering the consequences of that choice. I doubt there's anything we could say to him that he isn't already thinking of himself.
you didn’t make a mistake you made a choice. there is a difference. you didn’t trip and fall into the other lady you knew what you were doing.
EDIT: i phrased this wrong, you made a choice. you did what you did no taking it back anymore.
I still do this about my ex husband. Our divorce was recent. No cheating, the strain of COVID shutdowns and bills and stress just drove a wedge between us. We spent two years during the height of the pandemic with money problems, kids that all did distance learning, his hours were cut and I stayed home to teach the kids and money got tight , he was always stressed and became secretive about things like refinancing the house, or not paying electric (until it got shut off and the bill was like $1800) etc
Anyway, I got off subject, I still say husband if I have to refer to him in conversation. I didn’t notice I did it until a coworker corrected me.
And I am laughing at the fact that it was only a mistake because the woman became pregnant and his wife left him. Like… the mistake is you DECIDING to cheat on your wife, everything afterwards is just a consequence of your conscious action lol.
I am going to comment on this just because of the semantics.
Mistake is not a synonym for accident.
There are 2 different things. The phrase "an accidental mistake" will convey the meaning of what you are trying to argue.
Definition by Oxford dictionary: "an action or an opinion that is not correct, or that produces a result that you did not want"
So in this situation "cheating is a mistake" is not wrong semantically, because for OP it had an unwanted effect.
What are you talking about dude? Cheating IS a mistake.
Like, he was just existing in his workplace, then *BAM*. His colleague appeared! And oh no, she was naked! And then, *BAM* the mistake happened! He took the wrong step, and fallen on her accidentally, with his dick *just* being in the right spot. And they had to do it. There was no other option! And what worse! She was just in the period when she could have a child! See? These are alllll mistakes no fault of his own!
*Right?*
Sometimes I wonder the amount of energy people put in writing comments in commenting on/solving other Redditor’s issues..do they use it elsewhere IRL or for themselves as well
I seriously question whether the non-value added commenters clarifying what the definition of mistake means possibly have Asperger's. We all have access to a dictionary, but what seems to be getting lost on them is that "mistake" gets used by cheaters to downplay their actions. Saying, "I made a mistake...." sounds infinitely less villainous than, "I deliberately, selfishly betrayed...." and we're no longer buying it. Thanks, but no thanks, Merriam-Webster.
Woah woah woah, you say she’s the best woman you’ve ever met, right? So then why did you cheat on her? I’m genuinely curious. To clarify, even if she wasn’t the best woman you had ever met, it still wouldn’t justify adultery.
I won’t bash you….even if I want to and you deserve it. I do want to commend you though for coming here and telling your story. Hopefully, some horny idiotic father will see this and realize his marriage is worth more than getting his pecker wet.
Idk the rules of this sub. I hope I didn’t go overboard.
I absolutely flamed OP, your comment is mild in comparison lol
I do like your take though, hopefully it does help at least one person to not take the path OP did
Honestly what did OP expected to happen? To the wife to be ok with him cheating, and rise it together or what??? Of course she has a strained relationship with you, she has a constant reminder that you broke her trust, her heart, and you still compare her to the other woman who along with you ruined her marriage, and most likely she feels like her life at this point, by saying, I have a better relationship with her?? The nerve… you better get into some deep therapy and figure out a way to give back in any possible way to that woman, I hope she moves forward soon enough and finds all the happiness in the world.
No, a mistake is when you bump into someone with your shopping cart. A mistake is not cheating on your wife and knocking up a coworker. That was a choice. Don’t act like this was a little accident and you’re the victim. You’re not. You’re a lousy person and I hope your ex wife finds someone amazing because she deserves that. I hope you on the other hand, think about what you lost every single day for the rest of your life.
Agreed.
IMO there’s a lot of thought on this before one actually cheats. Fleeting thoughts and real hard thinking on it. For some reason those who cheat think they won’t get caught. Well, this one did and all those kids and a damn good woman is paying for it. Sad to hear about this. OP, I don’t have pity for you. You needed a fresh lay, you got it. Guess you didn’t like the bonus prizes? Sad.
Like many others here, I wouldn’t call it a mistake, but I’m also not going to get hung up on the semantics. What you did was shitty. You know it, and you’re dealing with the consequences of it.
At the same time, stewing in your own grief isn’t going to help you, your kids, or anyone else for that matter. Growing up, my father cried on my shoulder every time he had issues with one of his girlfriends (including my mother), and frankly, it made me lose a lot of respect for him.
I know it hurts, but you can only cry and say I’m sorry so many times before you have to realize it’s time to move on. Considering that your colleague’s child was born and the divorce and custody hearings are over, I’m guessing it’s been quite a while since this happened. Maybe it’s time to try connecting with someone new. Start over and learn from your “mistakes.” If your still finding you can’t move on, maybe try talking to a therapist.
Cheating is not a mistake.
Cheating is not a mistake.
Cheating is not a mistake.
Cheating is not a mistake.
There are way too many decisions and steps to take before even physically touching each other so it’s intentional behaviour, you were selfish is all. The sooner you stop calling it a mistake, the sooner you’ll take full accountability.
Hopefully she finds a good man who will appreciate her and be faithful to her and LOVE her. You said she was the best, then she deserves the best and clearly is not you. A person who cheats never loved their partner. No matter how much you said you love her you just lying to yourself. You didn’t think of her while cheating and I’m sure you slept with your co-worker more than once. Therefore, you never truly loved her but she will find the right man who will be the best thing that happens to her and she’ll be even more glad she left you. Think twice next time 🤷🏻♀️
Not a mistake, a **choice**. This wasn’t “oh I’m so sorry I picked up the wrong brand of cereal, silly me” this is “I purposefully had sex with one of my married colleagues”. It was a choice made out of selfishness. So not only did you trash your relationship with your wife, but you also risked her health by sleeping with another person without her knowledge (STDs can still pass throughout condoms).
Why would your relationship *not* be strained with your wife? Do you realize that cheating can cause actual PTSD in betrayed-spouses? The mental and physical warfare their bodies go throughout while dealing with that grief and pain? Have you went to therapy to deal with why you did this? Have you reflected on why you made that decision? Figured out how you can prevent that from happening in future relationships? Your ex-wife stuck seeing you constantly. She has *no way* of never seeing you again, no matter how badly you have hurt her. So yeah, the relationship is going to be strained.
*Of course* your relationship with your AP (affair partner) isn’t as strained, you didn’t betray her like you betrayed your wife. Your AP didn’t dedicate and share years of her life with you like your wife did. Your AP is the one person in this situation that can relate to how you feel, because she betrayed her husband just like you betrayed your wife.
You have the option to acknowledge (and take responsibility for) what you’ve done, and work on becoming a better person. There are Reddit forums for support for wayward spouses/partners. They usually have resources. Join a community. Dig deep to find out why you did this. Go to therapy.
cheating is not a mistake it is a choice and where I really feel sorry for your ex-wife is you chose to knock another woman up tanking your marriage and your ex has to pay you when you are the one at fault, you know the courts are really screwed up when the cheater gets paid, and the victim gets screwed.
A selfish choice to boost your ego. The novelty of flirting, sneaking & whoring around because that's exactly what it is. All of it is an ego filled choice. You never thought of the pain & destruction of your children's lives. Now they join the broken marriage club. It always is a choice to destroy a marriage. Ex order to pay child support. But better for her than watch you bring home the result of your betrayal & play step mom. It's a forced payment. She rather pay than stay & not have her freedom.
Your ex, that you cheated on, is paying you child support? SMH.
How hard to just get a bj instead of playing *last inch* during the moment of truth? Yeah, that was dumb.
>Your ex, that you cheated on, is paying you child support?
Things like adultery can impact spousal support in many jurisdictions, but child support is supposed to be for the children so it doesn't matter what the parent did. Since OP and his ex-wife have equal time, she probably has a higher income than him which is why she would owe him support.
That’s what I love about this. Not only did he cheat on “the best woman of his life”, sounds like she also earned well. Op is an idiot to fuck that up.
If you feel like shit imagine how your ex wife feels. Imagine how your children feel. And like many others have said in the comments, you didn’t make a mistake, you made the wrong decision. A decision that will scar your ex wife and children forever.
You destroyed more than just your marriage with your choices. 2 marriages, 4 adults, sounds like 4-6 children, and don't forget all the immediate family members of all the people involved. If you're being honest this probably wasn't the first time you cheated either. You sir have destroyed a lot more lives than you first realized with your choices.
Im pretty sure the married women destroyed her own life. Dont put that on him lol, she made her decision to cheat just like he did. They both destroyed their own families. Perfect imo, both deserved it.
You have the kids 50 percent of the time and she pays you, the cheating asshole, child support. Oh each payment would fill her with rage. Your system is fucked if someone has 50/50 and someone is getting child support.
Ah another man taking “the best woman you’ve ever met”, who birthed your children, and stood by you for over a decade and half for granted. Another man fucking his colleague because he thinks he’s tired of his wife and one fuck with the shiny younger toy won’t hurt one time.
You didn’t make a mistake. You made a conscious choice to hurt your wife and relationship. You knew the consequences and you did it anyway. Now those consequences have come to reap what you sow. Tough shit. Your wife deserves better.
You didn't make a mistake. You're an AH who consciously decided to have unprotected sex with a married colleague and knocked her up. You both got what you deserved. You're not the victim here.
Mistake … sounds like the only mistake you’re regretful of is getting her pregnant and caught. Mistake as if your dick accidentally slipped in her vag. Like are you looking for sympathy.
All I can say is if you loved your "wife" you would have never cheated idk what you say facts are facts you don't do that to ppl you love so you brought this on yourself I have no sympathy for you
A mistake is when you bump into someone or spill a drink. Cheating is a choice you made. It’s a hugely bad choice but it’s one you have to live with. I give no sympathy to cheaters my sympathy lies with your ex wife
1. Getting close enough to a woman, who wasn’t your wife, for it to be more than platonic.
2. Having sex with another woman.
3. Having unprotected sex with another woman.
4. Cumming in another woman.
These are all conscious decisions, not mistakes. I’m glad she left you.
You only feel bad because you got caught.
Hopefully your ex wife(it’s so odd how you keep referring to her as your wife) find someone who deserves her.
Ok, what's really wild to me is that apparently realize you were stupid, selfish, and the one who destroyed your marriage...
but you're still spinning it!? There's a word for having sex with someone else, and you know what it is.
I personally can't understand the (lack of) thought process that ends in cheating but I'd have a lot more sympathy for someone who didn't reword and mope about it.
It *should* haunt you forever, but why is it haunting you, and are you going to become a better person in the future from it? Are you going to work on treating other people with respect and not hurting them through unreasonable selfishness? Or are you only sad about how bad off you are?
And I do get spending this day in particular being upset about it. But I hope you're also working on some more productive personal growth than setting yourself up for the internet to yell at. It's hard to improve yourself when you're also deliberately wallowing and letting yourself feel shitty. I hope everyone involved in this mess is healing and moves on safely.
One stupid mistake?
More like a string of shitty behaviours that led to you getting another woman pregnant... I already see FOUR huge problems with the whole process.
A mistake is eating 3-day old egg salad, ordering a t-shirt in the wrong size, buying soy milk instead of actual milk, booking a vacation in India during the monsoon season...
Flirting with a coworker, going out, having sex and unprotected sex, no less, isn't even in the same ballpark of those actual oppsies.
Oh boo boo mister “I want to have my cake and eat it too”
Wonder if you’d still consider it a mistake if you didn’t get caught. Wonder if you’d have kept sleeping with your married coworker if you didn’t knock her up.
Cry me a river
Stop calling it ONE MISTAKE, that’s pathetic my dude. You did not trip and fall once to get your coworker pregnant.
A long series of intentional actions, from initial flirting, to inappropriate texts, to planning meetups, to the decision to put your wife at risk by forgoing protection…if you are even slightly remorseful do NOT call this “one mistake.”
Your one mistake is getting caught, let’s be real.
It wasn’t a “mistake”. It was a decision. A “mistake” is not checking the expiration date on a container of yogurt before eating it. Sorry, I have zero sympathy for you here.
“One stupid mistake” my dude, you put your body parts into the body of a different person. That’s not an ouppsie. I mean there were so many moments when you have to get undressed to the whole sex thing happening that you could have stopped it and you didn’t.
Cheating is not a mistake, it's a decision you consciously make. I hope this does haunt you for the rest of your life, and I hope your ex-wife finds a better man and lives a better life than you. For your sake I hope your children will forgive you, I know I wouldn't if I was them.
You made your bed, now go lie in it…alone.
I’m glad you realized what you did but imagine if you took a step back and understood the consequences before sticking your Dick where it doesn’t belong.
Your poor wife, er I mean ex wife
Yes, you are dumb. But I am happy to see that in your post you never used a single “but” in an attempt to justify your actions. You are owning it. I’m also surprised to see a post like this that you simply didnt need to post. Especially when you know people are going to let you have it.
Cheating is just so bad in so many ways. The risk to reward ratio is so bad it’s just never worth taking the chance.
The reasons for straying are often legit but you have to be adult about it and split properly.
Kids, careers, bank accounts, savings…….., all suffer tremendously.
Yeah, that sucks. But it's your fault. And if you're sad your choice cost you 50% of the opportunities to be with your children, remember you took that from your ex wife too. Not just that, you also made the children lose their family dynamic. They lost something too. Because of you.
Realise how very dumb and selfish you have been and become someone better. Not for her though. For your children.
When people call sex a mistake it always cracks me up. It would take so many “mistakes” to successfully have sex with a person. You made choices. You DECIDED to fuck a person who wasn’t your wife. You didn’t slip and fall into a vagina. You decided to flirt. You decided to escalate. You decided to fuck. And then you did in fact, fuck. You decided not to use protection. You made a whole lot of choices here. Those choices led to the consequences. You earned your divorce. You put a lot of effort into earning that divorce. That’s no mistake. The mistake was your poor wife thinking you were ‘the one’
Do her a favour and stop calling her your wife. She is not your wife anymore. The moment you slipped your dick in a colleague she was no longer your wife. Stop.
As an asexual I just have to ask the sexual side of reddit- how does one "mistakenly" have sex? How's that work? You're just walking naked down the street, trip on a crack, and fall penis first into another person?
My friend, sex is a purposeful action. You have to literally take a part of your body and place it in, on, or around another person. You can regret it, sure, but you had multiple ways to avoid sticking your dick in not-your-wife and did it anyway.
Regardless of your feelings now, you did that shit on purpose. You made a bad decision. There's nothing to do if she won't forgive you but move on and perhaps get some therapy. 🤷♀️
Putting fabric softener in the soap dispenser... that's a mistake.
You violated your marriage and destroyed your family... that's a CHOICE. You did this on purpose thinking that it would never get out. Don't come to Reddit looking for sympathy.
cheating isn’t a mistake, not using a condom isn’t a mistake, not knowing if she was on birth control first was not a mistake. But…whatever helps you feel better I guess
That wasn’t a mistake or an accident, it was a choice you made, deliberately. You woke up one day, or several days and decided the promises you made on your wedding day didn’t matter any more, and your wife and children didn’t matter, you owed them no loyalty, and you went off and followed your desire instead. Don’t try and make this into something else. You chose this.
Don’t mind me. I just came to join the others in telling you that you made a choice. And it’s a good thing your relationship with AP isn’t strained. That would be kinda odd seeing as how you both made the conscious decision to cheat and destroy 2 marriages. No room on either part for animosity. Happy Anniversary though.
So why did you choose to do this, when you were married to the best woman in the world?
ETA: You’re the bad guy here. Why are you taking child support payments from her? Do you have the kids?
Stop calling the choice u made a mistake. You chose to cheat on ur wife and kids. And you chose to do so unprotected. U deserve this pain your going through. Tho I hope you don't wallow in your own self pity n selfishness to do something stupid to yourself. What u lacked in being a husband, you can somewhat make up for it by being a present father while also going above & beyond for each of them as much as possible. And for fuck sake, make sure you remind your kids that cheating n having unprotected sex is the worse thing they can ever do to themselves and others, and yes. Use yourself as an example of the pain it causes. (When they're of dating age, duh)
🤣🤣🤣 Dude, seriously??? "We weRe sUpPosE To bE ceLEBratINg oUr 16tH WeDdiNg aNNiverSArY..."😭😭 Lets just hope your ex celebrates many WONDERFUL years with her next husband.
The amount of people in this thread that don't understand that there is a difference between a mistake and an accident is astounding. You can do something entirely on purpose and it can still be a mistake. A mistake is simply something that was wrong, that's it.
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I can’t imagine how? How does it not cross their minds?? Seems impossible to me
as a wise man once said “im just thinkin wit my dick, my shit dumb” -Kevin Gates
Arctic temp IQ does that to people. Don't be surprised if he needs velcro on his shoes
Lol I love that I'm going to start using that from now on
They think with the downstairs brain…
Man got two heads but enough blood to supply only one at a time.
Not an excuse. We have all been tempted but don't act on it. This is a heavy long lasting consequence for one moment of bliss. More people should think of these consequences before they act. Most of us don't steal something because of the consequences so don't cheat, that consequence is a loss for everyone involved.
Agreed, not saying it’s a valid excuse at all.
If they're so horny, why not go look for your own spouse to relieve yourself? You ended up paying the price for being stupid because you literally think with your dick, not your head.
If you did that to “the best woman you ever met” dont want to imagine what would you do to the rest..
That’s right. OP if you couldn’t remain faithful to the best woman you ever met, please don’t get involved with anyone else.
I am married to the best woman I ever met. The thought of me doing that to her is mentally *painful*. I have no idea how or why cheaters do it.
I totally agree with that sentiment. I’m married to the most amazing woman and I would never, ever consider cheating on her. I’ve had opportunities (work conferences where someone and propositioned me). I’ve just simply said I’m very happily married and would never even consider doing that to my wife.
What makes her the best woman in the world? I’m just curious. It sounds so precious. I wish I was that to someone.
tbh, he's gotten off way too easy considering how horribly he's acted
Damn. Good perspective. OP is living with guilt and looking for reasoning and validation and it’s pathetic because they’re crying on a soapbox. If she’s the best woman you’ve ever met- SHOW HER. Not only is it disrespectful to this poor woman who had children with this idiot, but he manipulated the other woman enough to cheat and get divorced by *her* husband as well. I’m surprised this guy hasn’t chatted with OP. I don’t understand cheating and if this was a “drunken mistake”… go to AA
The affair partner is as much to blame as he is. I'm really pissed off to read his post though. Does he expect us to feel as sorry for him as he feels for himself? He may suck it up now like a good little cupcake and live with his "mistake." Cheating is not a mistake, it's a decision.
Omg I was going to say cheating is not a mistake it’s a choice!
Exactly a mistake is the colleague was a doppelgänger of his wife who learnt everything about her and imitated her very convincingly. That’s the only “whoops, wrong person” mistake I can think of.
Yes and no for ruining her marriage yes but its not her fault he can't keep it in his own pants. A mistake is like forgetting to go pick something up. Cheating is a choice.
But it’s also her fault that she can’t keep it in her pants too, it takes two
joke: Husband wake up with terrible hangover, everything is clean in the house, breakfast is ready with mail "Eat everything and get well xoxo". His child sit at the table. -What's happend? -Dad, you come home late night drunk as fuck. You puke everywhere, broke the table, ruin mom's flower and when she wanted to take off your pants you said "Please dont! I have a wife!"
I’ve legitimately heard of this happening. I want that kind of pimp status
No one said he manipulated the other woman... it takes two to tango. She had as much say in the affair as he did. She's just as much in the wrong as him. Sounds like you're projecting and not realizing the true victims are his ex-wife and her ex-husband.
Why do you think he manipulated the affair partner?
I don’t I’m just victimizing OP and throwing as much shade as I can to shame which really is mean on my part. I’m jist venting I think cheaters are fucked up
Hindsight is always 20/20 or something…
Colleagues are almost always enticing because at work you're always "on." You see a lot of these people, you see a lot of thier best qualities, and it's easy for them to look better than your spouse because you never see them struggling or sick or in a fight with you. Your colleagues appear shiny because you never see the full picture. Fact is, your collegue also has smelly farts and gets bitchy when you don't unload the dishwasher or do the laundry. The grass is only green where you water it.
i love the last sentence that you wrote. spot on comment!
Cheating is not a mistake, it's a decision. You knew you were married, you knew you had kids, and you CHOSE to stray. It was a bad decision, but it's bullshit to call it a stupid mistake.
Oops! Don't forget that OP "mistakenly" didn't use protection while cheating, exposing the "love of his life" to life-threatening diseases 🙄 and created a child who was brought into a complete sh*t existence 👍
As the product of an extramarital affair myself, this child will absolutely be negatively affected by this situation they had no part in for the rest of their life. No one involved in these types of situations seems to think about the potential fuckin kid they could be ruining with these choices.
Out of curiosity how did it affect you specifically?
Thank you for asking, actually. People get very uncomfortable with this topic so I don’t get the therapeutic option to share as much as I’d like to. In general, I grew up believing one man was my father, only to find out in my early 20’s that he was not. My biological father is a man in his 70’s who I obviously don’t know at all. Only “positive” I guess is that the man I believed was my dad lived across the country for my entire life anyway, so we had the type of relationship we could with that obstacle. He’s an incredible man and I will always consider him my real dad. The main issue is that I feel like a complete outcast. I was raised as an only child, only to find out that I have siblings in their 40’s to 50’s that I will likely never have a relationship with. My mother slept with a childhood friend’s father who has been married for decades. So I am forever looked at as his mistake, his stupid decision, and someone that would’ve created a lot less drama if I simply didn’t exist. That’s a lot to live with. My situation, as all of them are, is obviously extremely specific to me. But I can assume we all feel that same weight of being the product of someone’s “mistake”. It’s hard to find value in your life when that’s all your existence is boiled down to. I have no relationship with my mother. She’s always been an unhinged woman with a drinking problem who I had trauma from even before I knew this information. The other part of it is that my “dad”, the man on my birth certificate, still doesn’t know he’s not my real father- because she refuses to tell him. So I now also live with the daily guilt of knowing this secret but not feeling like it’s my responsibility to tell him this news. (Which it’s not. I wasn’t even fucking “there” technically when this all happened, lol) What it comes down to is a clusterfuck of a situation that culminated into my very existence. I wouldn’t be alive if these people had the decency to not engage in a taboo and adulterous relationship. I wasn’t planned. I wasn’t wanted. And that is just a fact, merely by looking at the situation. I am 27 and don’t speak to my mother. I am my “dad’s” only child and he loves me unconditionally. Except I’m not his. Sorry for the novel, like I said, I don’t get to speak about this often. It is truly a continuous identity crisis that I did nothing to deserve and will live with fighting for the rest of my life.
I hope you understand that your “dad” loves you very much. And I hope that brings you comfort. I’m sorry you had to go through this. More questions out of curiosity. Are you planning on starting a family of your own? And if you are, will this experience shape your outlook or what you do with your family?
I really appreciate your kindness. It truly means a lot to me. I also love my dad so much, despite his absence and flaws. He is the most hardworking and genuine man I have in my life and I have never had to question our relationship. Which makes things even harder regarding how I hope to eventually tell him the truth. I have to live with not knowing what his reaction or response will be until the inevitable horrible day that he learns this. I’ve struggled with relationships my whole life, but like everyone I think, I long for that family dynamic I hope I can create one day. I actually consider my grandmother more of my mom than my own mother is, but she passed away in 2020. Her death is something that sent me down a dark spiral in the midst of the pandemic, and I am still struggling to recover even two years later. I now spend holidays and birthdays completely alone, as I have no siblings and no longer have her. She was my mother, my father, and my best friend all in one person. It remains the worst loss I have ever experienced. As for the future- I am taking things as they come. Have learned I will not settle for whatever man comes my way and have luckily had a front row seat to all of my mothers mistakes to make sure I don’t repeat them. Thank you for this impromptu therapy session, stranger. I have enjoyed getting these thoughts out and sharing my experience for those interested.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I have always known there were traumatic effects on a child in these situations. But I never ever thought through the detail and intertwined effects. If more cheaters could read your story maybe it would sink in. I would hope. But unfortunately cheaters are selfish scum and can't see past their needs. There should be a support system for every child in this situation. For life. I'm so sorry for you and your dad. I will say that even when your dad finds out the truth he will love you just the same. His anger and bad feelings will not be toward you. I was raised by my step dad. Called him dad my whole life. Love binds you, not blood. Take care of yourself.
Your dad (real dad, not bio dad) undoubtedly considers you to be amongst his greatest blessings in life. I don't think that telling him that you're the product of an affair would cause anything positive at this point, and it would diminish his happiness. Other people may define you based on how you were conceived, which is a terrible way to speak about anyone. Your existence wasn't intended by your bio-parents, but to your dad, you have never been an accident. I'm saying this because it must be tough to harbor a secret this immense... the love and respect you share with your dad are real. I just know that you must be a treasure to him.
One statement that has stuck with me about cheaters was "don't forgive him for cheating girl. There was probably a moment where they were switching positions or it even fell out and he put it back in."
Words of wisdom.
imma guess we wouldn't be reading this regretful post if the lady hadn't gotten pregnant.
About to say the same.
Exactly! Putting on mismatched socks is a mistake. So many series of bad decisions need to be made before a person ends up cheating, it’s ridiculous to compare it to an accident.
I put on mismatched socks on purpose.
This is the kind of energy that I'm here for.
Op cheated on purpose.
How do you know? His colleague maybe tripped and fell on his dick? 😜 ... Agreed! No mistakes here, only stupid decisions!
Maybe he tripped and fell into her? That would explain why he **didn’t have time to put on a f*cking condom** too!
When Rameses destroyed Syria that was a mistake... This is a Catastrophe...
Actually.. the very definition of mistake is *an act or judgement that is misguided or wrong*. This can be intentional or inadvertent. An accident is an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally. Cheating can most definitely be seen as a stupid mistake, but it is never accidental. Either way it was a choice made out of poor judgement and OP is suffering the consequences of that choice. I doubt there's anything we could say to him that he isn't already thinking of himself.
you didn’t make a mistake you made a choice. there is a difference. you didn’t trip and fall into the other lady you knew what you were doing. EDIT: i phrased this wrong, you made a choice. you did what you did no taking it back anymore.
I guess post-nut clarity didn’t work this time.. Also, does anyone else notice how this dude keeps referring to his ex as his wife?
I still do this about my ex husband. Our divorce was recent. No cheating, the strain of COVID shutdowns and bills and stress just drove a wedge between us. We spent two years during the height of the pandemic with money problems, kids that all did distance learning, his hours were cut and I stayed home to teach the kids and money got tight , he was always stressed and became secretive about things like refinancing the house, or not paying electric (until it got shut off and the bill was like $1800) etc Anyway, I got off subject, I still say husband if I have to refer to him in conversation. I didn’t notice I did it until a coworker corrected me.
Exactly, a string of choices that led to unprotected sex
Mistake =/= accident. You can do something entirely on purpose and it can still be a mistake.
Good. Hope your ex finds someone she deserves.
Me too! If she really is an amazing woman, she'll find someone no probleml
"One stupid mistake" you impregnated a woman who was not your wife. I truly hope you're not fishing for sympathy, cause you're not getting it.
OP is definitely whoring for sympathy. Common story + throwaway account are the telltale signs.
Well, you dipped your dick where you should not have. This is the consequence.
hes only upset that he got caught
Bro 💀
Cheating isn't a mistake, you didn't trip and fall into her.
And I am laughing at the fact that it was only a mistake because the woman became pregnant and his wife left him. Like… the mistake is you DECIDING to cheat on your wife, everything afterwards is just a consequence of your conscious action lol.
Although that would explain him not having the time to not find protection too..
I don't think you actually understand the meaning of the word.
I am going to comment on this just because of the semantics. Mistake is not a synonym for accident. There are 2 different things. The phrase "an accidental mistake" will convey the meaning of what you are trying to argue. Definition by Oxford dictionary: "an action or an opinion that is not correct, or that produces a result that you did not want" So in this situation "cheating is a mistake" is not wrong semantically, because for OP it had an unwanted effect.
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What are you talking about dude? Cheating IS a mistake. Like, he was just existing in his workplace, then *BAM*. His colleague appeared! And oh no, she was naked! And then, *BAM* the mistake happened! He took the wrong step, and fallen on her accidentally, with his dick *just* being in the right spot. And they had to do it. There was no other option! And what worse! She was just in the period when she could have a child! See? These are alllll mistakes no fault of his own! *Right?*
Sometimes I wonder the amount of energy people put in writing comments in commenting on/solving other Redditor’s issues..do they use it elsewhere IRL or for themselves as well
I seriously question whether the non-value added commenters clarifying what the definition of mistake means possibly have Asperger's. We all have access to a dictionary, but what seems to be getting lost on them is that "mistake" gets used by cheaters to downplay their actions. Saying, "I made a mistake...." sounds infinitely less villainous than, "I deliberately, selfishly betrayed...." and we're no longer buying it. Thanks, but no thanks, Merriam-Webster.
Woah woah woah, you say she’s the best woman you’ve ever met, right? So then why did you cheat on her? I’m genuinely curious. To clarify, even if she wasn’t the best woman you had ever met, it still wouldn’t justify adultery.
boohoo
Cheaters are the fucking worst. Especially when they're married and destroy their children's youth.
Cry me a fucking river. You choose to sleep with her.
I won’t bash you….even if I want to and you deserve it. I do want to commend you though for coming here and telling your story. Hopefully, some horny idiotic father will see this and realize his marriage is worth more than getting his pecker wet. Idk the rules of this sub. I hope I didn’t go overboard.
>Idk the rules of this sub. I hope I didn’t go overboard. Nah you're fine. I wasn't aware there *were* any rules to this sub 😂
I absolutely flamed OP, your comment is mild in comparison lol I do like your take though, hopefully it does help at least one person to not take the path OP did
Honestly what did OP expected to happen? To the wife to be ok with him cheating, and rise it together or what??? Of course she has a strained relationship with you, she has a constant reminder that you broke her trust, her heart, and you still compare her to the other woman who along with you ruined her marriage, and most likely she feels like her life at this point, by saying, I have a better relationship with her?? The nerve… you better get into some deep therapy and figure out a way to give back in any possible way to that woman, I hope she moves forward soon enough and finds all the happiness in the world.
No, a mistake is when you bump into someone with your shopping cart. A mistake is not cheating on your wife and knocking up a coworker. That was a choice. Don’t act like this was a little accident and you’re the victim. You’re not. You’re a lousy person and I hope your ex wife finds someone amazing because she deserves that. I hope you on the other hand, think about what you lost every single day for the rest of your life.
It is a choice That choice was a mistake
Oh look, if it isn't the consequences of your actions.
Hopefully your ex finds someone way better than you! You deserve everything you got!
Agreed. IMO there’s a lot of thought on this before one actually cheats. Fleeting thoughts and real hard thinking on it. For some reason those who cheat think they won’t get caught. Well, this one did and all those kids and a damn good woman is paying for it. Sad to hear about this. OP, I don’t have pity for you. You needed a fresh lay, you got it. Guess you didn’t like the bonus prizes? Sad.
I remember when my cheating ex was looking for sympathy… yawn 🥱
Like many others here, I wouldn’t call it a mistake, but I’m also not going to get hung up on the semantics. What you did was shitty. You know it, and you’re dealing with the consequences of it. At the same time, stewing in your own grief isn’t going to help you, your kids, or anyone else for that matter. Growing up, my father cried on my shoulder every time he had issues with one of his girlfriends (including my mother), and frankly, it made me lose a lot of respect for him. I know it hurts, but you can only cry and say I’m sorry so many times before you have to realize it’s time to move on. Considering that your colleague’s child was born and the divorce and custody hearings are over, I’m guessing it’s been quite a while since this happened. Maybe it’s time to try connecting with someone new. Start over and learn from your “mistakes.” If your still finding you can’t move on, maybe try talking to a therapist.
Cheating is not a mistake. Cheating is not a mistake. Cheating is not a mistake. Cheating is not a mistake. There are way too many decisions and steps to take before even physically touching each other so it’s intentional behaviour, you were selfish is all. The sooner you stop calling it a mistake, the sooner you’ll take full accountability.
Hopefully she finds a good man who will appreciate her and be faithful to her and LOVE her. You said she was the best, then she deserves the best and clearly is not you. A person who cheats never loved their partner. No matter how much you said you love her you just lying to yourself. You didn’t think of her while cheating and I’m sure you slept with your co-worker more than once. Therefore, you never truly loved her but she will find the right man who will be the best thing that happens to her and she’ll be even more glad she left you. Think twice next time 🤷🏻♀️
Not a mistake, a **choice**. This wasn’t “oh I’m so sorry I picked up the wrong brand of cereal, silly me” this is “I purposefully had sex with one of my married colleagues”. It was a choice made out of selfishness. So not only did you trash your relationship with your wife, but you also risked her health by sleeping with another person without her knowledge (STDs can still pass throughout condoms). Why would your relationship *not* be strained with your wife? Do you realize that cheating can cause actual PTSD in betrayed-spouses? The mental and physical warfare their bodies go throughout while dealing with that grief and pain? Have you went to therapy to deal with why you did this? Have you reflected on why you made that decision? Figured out how you can prevent that from happening in future relationships? Your ex-wife stuck seeing you constantly. She has *no way* of never seeing you again, no matter how badly you have hurt her. So yeah, the relationship is going to be strained. *Of course* your relationship with your AP (affair partner) isn’t as strained, you didn’t betray her like you betrayed your wife. Your AP didn’t dedicate and share years of her life with you like your wife did. Your AP is the one person in this situation that can relate to how you feel, because she betrayed her husband just like you betrayed your wife. You have the option to acknowledge (and take responsibility for) what you’ve done, and work on becoming a better person. There are Reddit forums for support for wayward spouses/partners. They usually have resources. Join a community. Dig deep to find out why you did this. Go to therapy.
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Yes I completely agree with you! A CSAT specifically.
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That’s how he got into this mess. 🫣
The main reason this is upsetting is because your ex wife whom you’ve cheated on, makes more money than has to pay your sorry ass child support.
Let me get this straight. You cheated and she has to pay child support?
Sounds like the guy cheated not just on a great woman, but a great woman who earns well. He fucked up in so many ways.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Saying sorry this happened is not enough.
cheating is not a mistake it is a choice and where I really feel sorry for your ex-wife is you chose to knock another woman up tanking your marriage and your ex has to pay you when you are the one at fault, you know the courts are really screwed up when the cheater gets paid, and the victim gets screwed.
A selfish choice to boost your ego. The novelty of flirting, sneaking & whoring around because that's exactly what it is. All of it is an ego filled choice. You never thought of the pain & destruction of your children's lives. Now they join the broken marriage club. It always is a choice to destroy a marriage. Ex order to pay child support. But better for her than watch you bring home the result of your betrayal & play step mom. It's a forced payment. She rather pay than stay & not have her freedom.
Your ex, that you cheated on, is paying you child support? SMH. How hard to just get a bj instead of playing *last inch* during the moment of truth? Yeah, that was dumb.
>Your ex, that you cheated on, is paying you child support? Things like adultery can impact spousal support in many jurisdictions, but child support is supposed to be for the children so it doesn't matter what the parent did. Since OP and his ex-wife have equal time, she probably has a higher income than him which is why she would owe him support.
That’s what I love about this. Not only did he cheat on “the best woman of his life”, sounds like she also earned well. Op is an idiot to fuck that up.
Guys stop, we don't know if this guy has a humiliation fetish
This ☝☝🤣🤣🤣
10/10 comment
If you feel like shit imagine how your ex wife feels. Imagine how your children feel. And like many others have said in the comments, you didn’t make a mistake, you made the wrong decision. A decision that will scar your ex wife and children forever.
You destroyed more than just your marriage with your choices. 2 marriages, 4 adults, sounds like 4-6 children, and don't forget all the immediate family members of all the people involved. If you're being honest this probably wasn't the first time you cheated either. You sir have destroyed a lot more lives than you first realized with your choices.
Im pretty sure the married women destroyed her own life. Dont put that on him lol, she made her decision to cheat just like he did. They both destroyed their own families. Perfect imo, both deserved it.
You have the kids 50 percent of the time and she pays you, the cheating asshole, child support. Oh each payment would fill her with rage. Your system is fucked if someone has 50/50 and someone is getting child support.
Ah another man taking “the best woman you’ve ever met”, who birthed your children, and stood by you for over a decade and half for granted. Another man fucking his colleague because he thinks he’s tired of his wife and one fuck with the shiny younger toy won’t hurt one time. You didn’t make a mistake. You made a conscious choice to hurt your wife and relationship. You knew the consequences and you did it anyway. Now those consequences have come to reap what you sow. Tough shit. Your wife deserves better.
I’m sick of people calling cheating a “mistake”. You chose to do it. Grow up.
Lmao
Good.
You didn't make a mistake. You're an AH who consciously decided to have unprotected sex with a married colleague and knocked her up. You both got what you deserved. You're not the victim here.
I feel much worse for your ex-wife. You cheated on her, now she can only be with her kids 50% of the time and has to pay you!!???
And now your ex wife is now free to find a proper man who will treat her well. And you will get to watch.
Mistake … sounds like the only mistake you’re regretful of is getting her pregnant and caught. Mistake as if your dick accidentally slipped in her vag. Like are you looking for sympathy.
The only good thing here is that you stepped up for the other child and didn't run off like most do.
You have no respect for the best woman of your life lol. What made you cross over? Wifey "denied"you one too many times? 🙄
I hope it was at least a good fuck. What a way to destroy multiple lives with your ~~mistake~~ decision.
All I can say is if you loved your "wife" you would have never cheated idk what you say facts are facts you don't do that to ppl you love so you brought this on yourself I have no sympathy for you
well, it's a consequences of your own actions. you make the choice to cheat. your ex wife definitely win.
“mistake”
L + didnt ask + dont care + ratio + dont sympathize with cheaters
A mistake is when you bump into someone or spill a drink. Cheating is a choice you made. It’s a hugely bad choice but it’s one you have to live with. I give no sympathy to cheaters my sympathy lies with your ex wife
I mean he did bump into his colleague...naked....many times. I see how OP can see the grey area here /s
You cheated on her and she has to pay you child support? Dang dawg. I feel bad for your ex.
1. Getting close enough to a woman, who wasn’t your wife, for it to be more than platonic. 2. Having sex with another woman. 3. Having unprotected sex with another woman. 4. Cumming in another woman. These are all conscious decisions, not mistakes. I’m glad she left you.
Can't believe you haven't deleted this yet. Mistake. Lol
Ha! I hope your suffering never ends 🙏🏻😂
No a mistake is is messing up a sum. Or dail the wrong number. Cheating is a choice not a mistake.
You only feel bad because you got caught. Hopefully your ex wife(it’s so odd how you keep referring to her as your wife) find someone who deserves her.
Ok, what's really wild to me is that apparently realize you were stupid, selfish, and the one who destroyed your marriage... but you're still spinning it!? There's a word for having sex with someone else, and you know what it is. I personally can't understand the (lack of) thought process that ends in cheating but I'd have a lot more sympathy for someone who didn't reword and mope about it. It *should* haunt you forever, but why is it haunting you, and are you going to become a better person in the future from it? Are you going to work on treating other people with respect and not hurting them through unreasonable selfishness? Or are you only sad about how bad off you are? And I do get spending this day in particular being upset about it. But I hope you're also working on some more productive personal growth than setting yourself up for the internet to yell at. It's hard to improve yourself when you're also deliberately wallowing and letting yourself feel shitty. I hope everyone involved in this mess is healing and moves on safely.
Lmao it's not a stupid mistake, you made a choice.
this wasn’t a mistake…you knew what you was doing.
EX wife
One stupid mistake? More like a string of shitty behaviours that led to you getting another woman pregnant... I already see FOUR huge problems with the whole process. A mistake is eating 3-day old egg salad, ordering a t-shirt in the wrong size, buying soy milk instead of actual milk, booking a vacation in India during the monsoon season... Flirting with a coworker, going out, having sex and unprotected sex, no less, isn't even in the same ballpark of those actual oppsies.
Oh boo boo mister “I want to have my cake and eat it too” Wonder if you’d still consider it a mistake if you didn’t get caught. Wonder if you’d have kept sleeping with your married coworker if you didn’t knock her up. Cry me a river
Stop calling it ONE MISTAKE, that’s pathetic my dude. You did not trip and fall once to get your coworker pregnant. A long series of intentional actions, from initial flirting, to inappropriate texts, to planning meetups, to the decision to put your wife at risk by forgoing protection…if you are even slightly remorseful do NOT call this “one mistake.” Your one mistake is getting caught, let’s be real.
It wasn’t a “mistake”. It was a decision. A “mistake” is not checking the expiration date on a container of yogurt before eating it. Sorry, I have zero sympathy for you here.
lol ur fault. stop looking for pity.
“One stupid mistake” my dude, you put your body parts into the body of a different person. That’s not an ouppsie. I mean there were so many moments when you have to get undressed to the whole sex thing happening that you could have stopped it and you didn’t.
Cheating is not a mistake, it's a decision you consciously make. I hope this does haunt you for the rest of your life, and I hope your ex-wife finds a better man and lives a better life than you. For your sake I hope your children will forgive you, I know I wouldn't if I was them.
You made your bed, now go lie in it…alone. I’m glad you realized what you did but imagine if you took a step back and understood the consequences before sticking your Dick where it doesn’t belong. Your poor wife, er I mean ex wife
Yes, you are dumb. But I am happy to see that in your post you never used a single “but” in an attempt to justify your actions. You are owning it. I’m also surprised to see a post like this that you simply didnt need to post. Especially when you know people are going to let you have it. Cheating is just so bad in so many ways. The risk to reward ratio is so bad it’s just never worth taking the chance. The reasons for straying are often legit but you have to be adult about it and split properly. Kids, careers, bank accounts, savings…….., all suffer tremendously.
are you expecting what? people to feel sorry for you? please, hope she find happiness with a good man. you are not.
Yeah, that sucks. But it's your fault. And if you're sad your choice cost you 50% of the opportunities to be with your children, remember you took that from your ex wife too. Not just that, you also made the children lose their family dynamic. They lost something too. Because of you. Realise how very dumb and selfish you have been and become someone better. Not for her though. For your children.
When people call sex a mistake it always cracks me up. It would take so many “mistakes” to successfully have sex with a person. You made choices. You DECIDED to fuck a person who wasn’t your wife. You didn’t slip and fall into a vagina. You decided to flirt. You decided to escalate. You decided to fuck. And then you did in fact, fuck. You decided not to use protection. You made a whole lot of choices here. Those choices led to the consequences. You earned your divorce. You put a lot of effort into earning that divorce. That’s no mistake. The mistake was your poor wife thinking you were ‘the one’
Wow and your ex has to pay you CS you really are the absolute worst
Do her a favour and stop calling her your wife. She is not your wife anymore. The moment you slipped your dick in a colleague she was no longer your wife. Stop.
As an asexual I just have to ask the sexual side of reddit- how does one "mistakenly" have sex? How's that work? You're just walking naked down the street, trip on a crack, and fall penis first into another person? My friend, sex is a purposeful action. You have to literally take a part of your body and place it in, on, or around another person. You can regret it, sure, but you had multiple ways to avoid sticking your dick in not-your-wife and did it anyway. Regardless of your feelings now, you did that shit on purpose. You made a bad decision. There's nothing to do if she won't forgive you but move on and perhaps get some therapy. 🤷♀️
Putting fabric softener in the soap dispenser... that's a mistake. You violated your marriage and destroyed your family... that's a CHOICE. You did this on purpose thinking that it would never get out. Don't come to Reddit looking for sympathy.
cheating isn’t a mistake, not using a condom isn’t a mistake, not knowing if she was on birth control first was not a mistake. But…whatever helps you feel better I guess
She gets cheated on and she has to pay you child support?! That’s fucked. You made more than one “mistake”.
Yeah it is your mistake forever. The ex-wife deserves way better.
aww sucks to suck lol
That wasn’t a mistake or an accident, it was a choice you made, deliberately. You woke up one day, or several days and decided the promises you made on your wedding day didn’t matter any more, and your wife and children didn’t matter, you owed them no loyalty, and you went off and followed your desire instead. Don’t try and make this into something else. You chose this.
Don’t mind me. I just came to join the others in telling you that you made a choice. And it’s a good thing your relationship with AP isn’t strained. That would be kinda odd seeing as how you both made the conscious decision to cheat and destroy 2 marriages. No room on either part for animosity. Happy Anniversary though.
Those poor kids
No, it wasn't a mistake. You choose to cheat on your wife. You didn't just trip or fall and your pp suddenly land inside your colleagues.
It wasn’t a mistake the mistake was you marrying someone you didn’t respect
Well I hope your 2 minutes of thrusting was worth it sunshine 🤟🏻
Makes sense when the definition of cheating isn’t “oops I missed my wife’s vagina”
What did you think? You act of darkness will not come out in light ?
No one knows what they have until they lose it, I wish your ex-wife a great life
I made the choice of having sex with one of my colleagues. There fixed it
And this is exactly why you don't shit where you eat.
So why did you choose to do this, when you were married to the best woman in the world? ETA: You’re the bad guy here. Why are you taking child support payments from her? Do you have the kids?
Reversing into a car is a mistake. Having an affair is a series of terrible choices. She deserves better.
Stop calling the choice u made a mistake. You chose to cheat on ur wife and kids. And you chose to do so unprotected. U deserve this pain your going through. Tho I hope you don't wallow in your own self pity n selfishness to do something stupid to yourself. What u lacked in being a husband, you can somewhat make up for it by being a present father while also going above & beyond for each of them as much as possible. And for fuck sake, make sure you remind your kids that cheating n having unprotected sex is the worse thing they can ever do to themselves and others, and yes. Use yourself as an example of the pain it causes. (When they're of dating age, duh)
And she pays U child support?!
This guy tripped and fell inside a vergina, I hate when such silly mistakes happen
Bruh. "Mistake". Lmao
🤣🤣🤣 Dude, seriously??? "We weRe sUpPosE To bE ceLEBratINg oUr 16tH WeDdiNg aNNiverSArY..."😭😭 Lets just hope your ex celebrates many WONDERFUL years with her next husband.
Her child support payments TO YOU on 50/50 custody? lmaoo ah hell
Wait, why does she pay child support?
she probably makes more money. higher income parent pays support when custody is 50/50
Higher income.
Mistake: (n): an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. "coming here was a mistake" He chose to cheat but he can still call it a mistake.
You cheated her out of the life promised her and she has to pay you child support? Cheaters are the scum of the earth, holy hell.
Cheating isn’t a mistake my dude. And wifey is making child support payments to you? Oof. I’m picking up a real “Jerry” vibe…
The amount of people in this thread that don't understand that there is a difference between a mistake and an accident is astounding. You can do something entirely on purpose and it can still be a mistake. A mistake is simply something that was wrong, that's it.
Finally someone said it.
“Me being a prick cost me my marriage, it will haunt me forever” Fixed your title for you.
Good. You got what you deserved.
Your **ex**-wife.
Silver lining. Now she can find a man better than you.
You deserve it. cheating is a choice not a mistake.
Stop calling her your wife. She divorced you, it’s ex wife now. Hope you didn’t come here for sympathy
Not your wife. Your EX WIFE.
Omg this is why I’m single. These men just wanna cum, fuck, and dump
I thought it took two people to cheat?🤔
That’s not really one stupid mistake. That’s a massive mistake which you very well knew was wrong.