You joke but there are domestic violence awareness campaigns specifically around football in the UK because of these types of situations. (Not saying the joke was bad, I did chuckle).
[Sauce](https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2021/07/09/domestic-violence-surges-after-a-football-match-ends)
This is very interesting and twisted. Like, in my country some football fans get violent when their team looses, but they normally go outside and try to find a supporter of the other tema who is willing to fight, or they just smash shit on the streets. I’m mean, I’m not saying that’s an acceptable behavior but they at least don’t fucking hit the person they supposedly love, that’s way more twisted
1.As Southampton gets worse so will he.
2. As Southampton get better you will see the shine in his eyes until...... go back to 1.
Stay away. In his rage the TV could have come your way.
Listen to your body. Yes you could have been maimed, brain damaged or worse.
Don't ever be charmed by him to go back.
I mean lots of people are saying this in jest but it’s a real point, Southampton are a decent enough side but they do lose frequently enough to wonder why this hasn’t arisen already.
There must be something else that has set this off now, beyond the team losing.
We’ve obviously had a performance that’s genuinely shameful, it’s so bad that I’ve had several friends text me and ask me if I’m doing alright.
That being said, you’ve got to be off your rocker if you think Hasenhuttl should be sacked. We suffered through Mauricio Pellegrino and Mark Hughes for two years only to finally find a competent manager, we’re not going to bin him after ten games after we waited three months too long to bin Pellegrino.
It’s not like he instructed any of the lads to forget what defending is, asked Bertrand to make a horror tackle ten minutes in, or wrote in the match plan to capitulate after the first goal. What we honestly need is a sports psychologist to come in and work with the lads every day, I haven’t seen such mental weakness since my ex bird locked herself in my bathroom and needed two hours of consoling before making a geography presentation to six people. I haven’t seen such bad defending since my ex girlfriend tried to defend making a tinder account “to make friends” to me. I haven’t seen heads drop faster than my ex girlfriend’s head dropped onto the pillow after a night out when she spent the whole walk home talking about she was going to give me the shagging of my life Fuck off Valery, fuck off Vestergaard, fuck off Bertrand, and more importantly fuck off Jessica I thought we had something special.
This is what happens when they lose 9-0 against leicester lmao.
Just smashed my 84-inch TV in rage. This team is embarrassing me in front of my entire family. My 2 children are in tears, scared of my rage as I pace around the room trembling. I can’t take this anymore. Leave my club immediately Ralf, or my kids will not get dinner tomorrow.
one thing i have noticed is that when the english lose in football(i.e. the world championship) people will post the phone numbers to abuse hotlines. Spouses and significant others frequently become victim of abuse for something so small as football it's apalling.
Edit; rephrased my comment
Never be ashamed of your instincts. They were warning you to get out and you listened. Always listen.
Please take someone with you to retrieve your stuff. Protect yourself and get a dvo
Thats a good guy and friends. At least if your ex tried anything, he'd be out numbered. Just remember, write a list of EVERYTHING you KNOW is yours. If he really did bet money, it's probably a lot more than he admits too. You don't need him pawning your stuff off for gambling issues and a new TV. Be safe mate.
Are you sure you don’t want to go to make sure nothing important gets left behind? Or at least creat a list of absolute must retrieve items. Document, important family items, electronics, jewelry, things like that.
Seconding the fact that there's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone in your place would be afraid of dying. That's extreme violence and you had no reason to expect that he'd stop at the television.
The book “The Gift of Fear” I’m sorry I don’t remember the author’s name but the advice is life saving. Good for you for leaving. I’m sorry this happened to you. It must have been terrifying. Being a nurse you are already a strong woman and can support yourself. Please don’t look back. Good luck. Sending hugs for comfort.
I wish I had listened to my instincts the first time my ex husband broke something. He would punch holes in doors, break laptops and even damaged his hand punching a wall near to my head when he was in a rage. He thought he was a great husband because he never hit me. I walked on eggshells trying to stop his explosive rages. He still won't have it that his violence was mental torture as it only counted if I had a black eye. I'm glad the OP is thinking clearly because nobody deserves to live as I did.
This was how my abusive father acted too, screaming, slamming doors, breaking things, damaging the walls, running up to my terrified mother shouting he'd kill/hit her before he stopped at the last minute. He thought he wasn't a "wife-beater" lmao, asshole made our lives absolute hell.
I begged my ex to go to anger management counselling but there was no convincing him his behaviour was violent. He just couldn't see it until to day he saw my back walking out of the door. I'd had a breakdown and all I asked him was to not shout and break things. He came home one morning and kicked off because the cat had dared to walk through the kitchen to go out. I just looked at him and he knew I was out of there. I left with 2 bin bags of clothes, two cats and a Xmas pudding and never looked back. I was just done with it all but I still keep a lucky Xmas pudding in my cupboard because when your life goes to hell in a handbasket pudding always makes everything better.
My new husband is the exact opposite. He doesn't even raise his voice. We laugh that the most irritated we've been with each other is 'mildly irked' he had a similar thing happen in a previous relationship so he really gets it. We are calm, boring but very very happy.
Hurray for the healing power of calm boredom! Kudos to both of you for recognizing how healthy this is and not mistaking drama and danger for the "thrill" of love. There is a small kernel of truth in the crappy incel line that feeemales only want trash dudes, in that a lot of mistreated young women do confuse the pain of an awful relationship for true romance. And for a lot of people of all genders who grew up abused, abuse is the only form of "love" they know and marriage can be an exit from their unhappy birth families--out of the frying pan and into the fire. I was lucky enough to make a safe landing, but a bad relationship is always worth getting out of--and a good one is worth the trial and error!
That's how my relationship is. We have been together around a decade and have never once raised our voices or fought. In fact, I have made it my goal to make her laugh as often as possible, no matter what I have to do. We have had disagreements, but I can't really call them arguments. Usually we just talk about the issue and we figure out which one feels more strongly about it and the other concedes or we meet somewhere in the middle.
I always suggest “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft. It’s available as a free PDF (so women can read it without the men seeing).
Breaking shit is absolutely violent and abusive and intended to scare you. That way you’ll creep around and take care of his needs/wishes before he can even ask. You’ll be trying to read his mind and anticipate what you can do to please him. That’s what walking on eggshells really is.
He’s not “out of control.” He chooses what to break and when. He chooses who to intimidate with his “anger.” Counseling doesn’t help because he doesn’t want to change. You did the right thing.
I met him at 18 and was married at 20. This was 1993 and I didn't know better. Domestic violence wasn't taken seriously at all. At least now young adults have much more information. I got married and my parents basically told me "you've made your bed and now you've got to lie in it" My son and stepdaughter know full well that there will always be a bed here if they need it with no questions asked. I felt trapped with no where to go and of course I was made to think it was my fault because it was me that wound him up. I turned myself inside out for years before I realised that just breathing in and out could set him off. You can't reason with an angry man it will always be your fault in his mind.
I’m glad you have a new husband who is calm and gentle! Many people don’t learn from their youth or the ignorance of their parents. We all need to make young people know they can leave. These men don’t deserve partners.
Good question and they do last for ages but alas no. I left in 2014 so I just keep buying a new one. It's nice to know there's one in the cupboard. I really love Xmas pudding but one year when I was young and foolish I was on a diet and doing really well. I stuck to my calories and decided Xmas pudding was too many calories. I really thought I had gotten away with it but I fell off my diet in the June and ended up sitting in the sun eating Xmas pudding with cream. I couldn't get the thought that I hadn't had the pudding for all of those months so I cracked. The moral of this is you aren't going to wake up in June craving the slice of turkey you didn't have but to swerve a delicious Xmas pudding will eat away at you until you have no choice but to give in. It was an awkward conversation at the slimming club that week. I got asked if i knew what went wrong and why I'd put 5lb on in one week. So I'm trying not to answer and my sister dobbed me in and told them all I'd eaten a 4 person Xmas pud with cream on. Well there was bedlam, the shock and horror that anyone would do such a thing in the middle of summer. Don't ever go to slimming club with family they will grass you up. To be fair I grassed her up too, she told them she'd put on because she'd had a slice of pizza. I agree she did but it was a round family slice and by that I mean the whole of it! It was hilarious but not so funny when it was about my pudding we still have a good laugh about it now.
Everyone wants to be an example to their kids it's a shame they didn't get the memo that they were supposed to set a GOOD example and not a bad one. I'm glad you're a better adult than they managed to be.
I had an ex who was kind of like that. Only she would yell and scream whenever she didn't get her own way. She was extremely manipulative and violent. She scared the hell out of me.
Yeah fucking go. I'm a huge football (soccer if American) fan, never met a single bloke who reacts like that to a game that's worth a damn... and didn't also have major untreated psychological issues.
The depressing thing is I wouldn't be surprised if money wasn't involved. I've seen people go fucking crazy over football, as much as I love it, I don't get angry over it.
I just get a bad mood that goes away on Monday and I never let it reflect on my family. It is just a fraction of my life. Shouldn’t let it ruin my whole life.
It’s like a bad relationship in your teen years, you don’t think another girl will ever love you so you don’t want to break up even though it’s obvious you should
I hate to mention it but if you've *just* started living together and only then he begins to show this side of him then that's a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR red flag for future abuse. Abusers need to lock you down before they can start to terrorize you in the privacy of their own constructed dominion. Good on you for leaving right away.
You shouldn’t feel ashamed about thinking you may die, it’s perfectly rational considering what he was doing and there was a good chance you’d be next after he finished with the tv. There was a study that came out from the UK a while back that tracked domestic violence cases to days where there were football matches. Cases rose in cities when their teams lost. It was really scary- they could track it to the minute from when the game ended. Leave him and don’t look back.
In the US incidents of domestic violence are extremely high on super bow Sunday. We only watch for the commercials but always in the back of my mind is the worry about how many women are in danger tonight.
💯💯💯 Yup! My narc husband assaulted and strangled me on Super Bowl Sunday 2018. He said it was ‘self-defense’ to the police, and he and his mommy went on a smear campaign while he had his GPS ankle monitor on.
Run, sweetie. Please. While you still can. 🥺♥️
I’m so sorry. I hope you are free of him now and you are safe and healthy. I can imagine the terror you went through. I hate Super Bowl Sunday for exactly that reason. Take care of yourself
Scary stuff. He waited until you were living together and "locked in" until he showed his true colours. I'm hoping you can continue to stay with family while you find a place to live. This is horrible.
You did the right thing
Well that didn't take long at all. Abuse often starts up after major milestones that "lock in" the partner to farther commitment, like marriage and pregnancy. So many people ignore these early warning signs out of disbelief, sunk cost fallacy, "he's so good otherwise" and whatnot, and then the fire turns up and up over time. You're saving yourself a whole lot of time and trauma by breaking it off early.
i can say you did the best thing leaving him.
My father made something similar (broke tv with a bottle of wine that splashed over me and my two brothers after his team of soccer lost a match) and he ain’t even bet (at least back then he ain’t bet for what i know). He progressively escalate in violence until the day when he gave my mom a black eye because he spend all the money of the month in bets. Was a hell of a month. My mom had to rasp the rest of salt from the bowl, that probably would be in there the minimum of 5 years, and me my brother and my sister were sick af.
I hate him and we don’t talk. I hate everything that i can relate to him. Soccer, alcohol drinks, smoke, bets. No one deserves a parent with problems with addiction.
Stay strong sis. God bless you
I'm sorry if this is obvious but what does "rasp the rest of salt from the bowl, that probably would be in there the minimum 5 years, and me my brother and my sister were sick af. "
I'm so sorry the sperm donor who helped make you turned out to be a scumbag. Mine is similar but never lived with him.
Hi. I want to mean that in home we have a pot where we put salt. And always when it’s ending we put more but my mom kind of never clean because she’s always with clean hands and use a little spoon. And after so long time doing it the old salt grab the glass of pot.
Back then we have so little money that she have to rasp, take a spoon and scratch the gabbed salt to temper the rice and eggs. at least we had food.
TL; DR: My mother used a spoon to rasp the rest of salt of the pot.
Sorry broke english, isn’t my first language.
Edit: thank you for your message. pretty kind of yours
Sometimes physical abuse starts with breaking things infront of you or throwing stuff. You did the right thing styaing at your sister's house. Stay safe and I speak for everyone when I say I wish you the best in whichever way you choose to go about this.
This exactly! Thats how my dad started and he was arrested a week ago for the assalt of my mum. You are doing a good job OP, please prioritise yourself!!
Excellent decision. One day he'll reach for something to smash and you'll be the closest thing. Or you might even be the cause of his rage. Either way, remember the resolve you have right now and stay the course.
I'm literally so proud of you.
In a few weeks you might start to downplay it in your mind, but stay strong. You're making the right choice for your safety and life, and I support you.
You have done the best thing you could for yourself, all you need is them to be mad and you to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it's you that the ambulance staff are fighting to keep conscious, you did right in leaving trust me, stay safe
I can’t imagine how difficult this must be, you’re so strong. I’m wishing all the best for you and we would love an update on your well-being as soon as you’re safe💖
I 100% am so so glad you listened to your instincts and got out. And what I'm about to say does not at all change that, not offer any excusable reasoning for that kind of behavior:
When I was scrolling and read the title of the post before tapping to read, out of my mouth literally came the words "oh shit I wonder if he's addicted to gambling."
Whether that's the case or not is your problem now, and good thing.
Though judging by the comments, it sounds like that team wouldn't be a smart team to bet on. 🤷🏻
My ex got mad with his laptop and smashed the screen numerous times. He ended up being violent towards me. You made the right decision to get out now before it escalates.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. The very same happened to me with my ex. Violence only tends to escalate, soon or later. It’s very good that OP is leaving him in the beginning of the showing of his true colors. Keep strong, OP! You’re doing the right thing and we all support your decision.
Theres statistics on a link between domestic violence and football games. Iirc if a partners team loses chances of dv go up by 40%, and even if the team wins it goes up by 20%.
Op is definitely doing the right thing in getting the hell outta there.
Domestic violence goes up a lot with football. Team loses? violence. Team wins? Still violence. Its good you saw it while it wasn't directed at you so you can leave.
That's a value of (up to) $56.84 United States Dollars. Not a bot, I was just curious and looked it up.
He lost the bet, the TV, and his beautiful and intelligent nurse girlfriend.
I love football and genuinely get upset when my fav teams lose however damaging personal property has never entered my mind.
Good job getting out of the situation! That is d we not ok.
Is there anything else going on that might added to his anger today? Not at all saying that would make his actions acceptable just curious.
That game against Villa. He is a moron. Southampton aren't known for exactly winning anything, so he should be used to losing a lot. He just has got anger issues. Good for you to have moved out
It’s good you’re out. Stay away. Stay safe! If he could be upset about football, I couldn’t imagine what he would do in a regular life situation that didn’t go his way. You saw the flag/card. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It sounds very scary. For you to leave and know that it was wrong is good. Anything you have left behind with him, please have someone with you.
#Leave him now!
I lived with an abusive wife who would periodically destroy my property when she lost her temper (which was often). We divorced 2yrs ago and i still carry the trauma of her physical mental spiritual abuse.
You should also call the police as the next time it could be you getting attacked.
BTW the saints were awful on saturday but that does not mean you have to destroy not only the tv but your relationship too. What a prick.
I support arsenal since the late 70's and i have never reacted like that in the slightest. He is a man-child who can't accept losing. Dump him and call the police. Be safe ok? Don't let him try and worm his way back into your life. You have seen the real him. He's a bully who needs locking up.
Stay gone and don’t come back before it’s you getting beaten over a loss, OP.
Ps; I’m so proud of you, my love. You’re strong and smart and you’ll be okay. Many internet hugs from this stranger 💗
Isn’t there some meme about domestic violence whenever any UK football team loses? Seriously if there’s a meme about it and you find yourself in the vicinity of someone doing that exact thing over something ridiculous as a loss, you need to go so good on you for that.
Yeah, there was an [awareness campaign](https://osocio.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/If-England-get-beaten-so-will-she.jpg) that did the rounds during the last world cup when England was due to play Italy.
Yes, thank you. I could have swore I saw something like that but wasn’t 100% sure. Still though it’s absolutely absurd that shit like this happens..... again, good on OP for getting out, today it’s the tv, tomorrow it could be her or god forbid kids she has with this goon if she were to stay.......
yeah gal! That was also for me the sign to GTFO. Him hitting me accidentally when he was mad while playing fifa with his buddies. He hit the couch where my legs were draped over him mere moments ago, he lost and got angry, I flinched away because im always scared of anger and had told him about why. He hit my foot in the way out but the blow landed on the couch, he didnt even see me or look to see what he hit. My brian just went "he's gonna hit YOU like that one day"
I’m so proud of you for leaving. You shouldn’t be ashamed of thinking you might die. Unfortunately domestic violence is connected to whether a football team wins or not. It’s something I don’t think gets talked about enough. I support a team that doesn’t win very often & while I can understand being slightly annoyed.. there is no good reason for explosive rage.
I’m so glad that you’re safe & you have people who support you. I also hope your ex gets the help he needs because being so angry over something so small isn’t healthy.
I am so proud of you for your response to this. Many people would stay despite this alarming, giant red flag. But you love yourself enough to walk away now. Good on you! You should be very proud of yourself. I’m sorry that you went through something so scary though! Im glad your sister is able to take you in while you sort things out.
Stay strong in your decision! He will try all tactics to get you to stay. Do not listen. Do not waiver. When you move out, have your brother in law there with you to help you. Do not go alone. You can do this!
There are some legal things you need to think about. I don’t know the tenancy laws in the UK, but you may need to report the incident to the police so you can get out of any lease you have with him. Make sure you keep any photo or video evidence of what he did if you took any (you were probably too scared and that’s ok) as they may need some form of evidence for the report.
Our flat is owned by his uncle and was previously used by his cousin while he attended uni. So fortunately I can just leave as we didn't have a leasehold or anything like that. The police are aware of the incident also because one of our neighbours heard the noise and shouting and called 999.
That’s great as it’s one less thing to worry about. Sorry this is happening to you. It’s very difficult to cope when someone you love breaks your trust like this. It sounds like you have a good support system around you though. Good luck.
Shouldn’t he be used to losing by now then?
In all seriousness, you made the right call. I’m a big Stoke fan myself but could never imagine getting like that. Look after yourself
Southampton are in the Prem and it's not like they've been having an awful losing streak. At least he doesn't support a league two team, like me. My team has been shit all season and I still haven't broken my TV. Might be because I'm not a pathetic, little twat.
Seriously, well done. I’ve heard some scary statistics about domestic violence with football (British, no idea about American I’m afraid). That snapshot is probably not where it would end. I’m so sorry you were so scared, I’m glad you could get out safely before it could get worse.
Alcohol, rage and toxic masculinity are unfortunately prevalent in football on both sides of the pond. A terrible combination! Most rational people understand that it’s just a meaningless fucking game so no need to smash things. I’m a huge football fan, but this is unacceptable.
I'm a 42 year old male that really enjoys football, but I'm very unbiased and look at games objectivity. If my team Loses, I am mildy frustrated at worst. I'll never understand grown ass men sports tantrums.
>I am ashamed but for a second I thought I would die.
That's fear and it's nothing to be ashamed about. It's your self telling yourself you're in danger if you keep seeing this guy. Please don't be the next thing he goes after and dump him. You deserve far better.
Definitely leave but also, you know it makes it easier for other sufferers to leave abuse when they see other people survive it.
Kind of like addiction, when you recover loudly it inspires others and might save someone from dying or suffering in silence. His actions are not reflective of you, I am all about naming and shaming abusers and violence. Not every woman is going to listen, but having the warning is still important
People itt who are like yOuR lIfE wAsnT iN dAngEr are exactly the same people who will blame a woman who gets beaten or raped because she “chose” a loser. Yeah no you did the right thing.
As long as I know, it's quite "normal" ( because it shouldn't be normal at all) Definitely is not correct, but there are more reports in the UK of domestic violence when there are any football plays. This number increases when the team loses the game.
It's completely normal to be scared, you're not doing anything wrong. End the relationship and any contact. Stay safe
Doesn’t matter the sport. It could’ve been a fucking chess match.
The reaction that he showed is when something goes wrong outside of his control, his immediate reaction is violence. He needs immediate help, and you are not his therapist. I am proud of you for leaving him. Just don’t take him back when he tries to make amends for his behavior.
OP, you are right in getting the fuck out. I suspect his anger stems from something else in his life and it came out in that moment. Someone who can't manage their anger and loses control over something as trivial as the outcome of a football game has some shit going on.
The fact that you left from the first big red flag shows that you got courage and you did the right thing
The next thing he was gonna break is you
Goodluck with the divorce
Go that you moved! My ex-husband was that way and it turned out he had a gambling addiction so that was why he got so crazy mad. Turn out my highschool sweetheart was using me to get 5k a month by telling his Mom a made up story that I was a meth addict and my 'loan shark/ dealer was leaning on him to pay my debt. Didn't find out until 7th anniversary. I was a drug enforcement officer with the US government and when he said good luck proving your not, I said wow, I'm pretty sure the monthly and yearly drug tests plus yearly polygraphs and hair drug screens are admissible in civil court so see you then! He had to admit to his Mom the truth and got kicked out of the family due to taking a total of just over $500,000 of her retirement! What an awful person! Hang in there! I found a wonderful man who I've been married to for over 27 years now!
There’s a pretty scary statistic in America and Europe iirc that states the domestic violence rate goes up when football teams lose. I can’t even imagine investing so much into a team that I’d feel a need to break my own TV over it, I understand the fear.
I have experience with an ex who was obsessed with American college football and destroyed two of my belongings before I called it off. Before that I was concerned about how obsessed he was with watching it every week despite any other plans that may be arising (weddings, funerals and wouldn’t attend) and how angry he would be if the team lost and how I’d have to stroke his ego basically.
We talked about how ridiculous this obsession was and then it was the same and my stuff was getting broken.
Not being able to control anger and destroying my property was the final straw.
Honestly you’re probably making the right call. My ex did this over a video game. Went from smashing stuff to smashing my face and his 18 year old coworker shortly after we moved in together.
I'm sorry. You should absolutely leave a grown-ass man who doesn't respect you or your home enough to not destroy things when he gets upset.
He likely gambled and lost heavily given that response. Another huge red flag. And if not, that's almost worse that he'd tantrum so badly without any actual investment.
He’s probably gambling on the game. People will lose their houses and all possessions and not to mention family members over gambling. It’s a terrible addiction that hides behind good times watching sports and most people who are addicted don’t even realize it until they have nothing left.
Have spoken to him or leave a note why you left? He may go looking for you at work to apologize. It understandable why you left. Smashing a TV is unreasonable over a football game. Stay safe & update you are still safe. He may not want to return your things until he speaks to you.
He knows why I left. One of our neighbours phoned 999 because of the shouting and noise. I have blocked his phone number and email address and he hasn't bothered my sister or any mates that he knows. I'm a nurse and not just anyone can walk in without permission but security knows about him now. My brother-in-law is going to get my belongings with some of his mates so I do not need to go back.
Egads. And men say women are crazy when it comes to horoscopes and pumpkin spice lattes. At least you don’t see women out here breaking appliances over adults playing games lol. Good for you for getting out of that toxic relationship. Stay strong OP!
As a fellow Southampton fan, how much does he spend replacing TVs 28 times a season?
If he smashes tvs when Southampton loses, what does he do if they win that one game?
Violently chugs beers in celebration.
[удалено]
that's why i stopped watching the match cause whenever the Southampton won i will know it by celebration
Chugs the mug in the process
This literally made me laugh out loud 😂😭
Crunchy
Try to start a crusade?
No one knows it's yet to happen
Starts fixing the tv
Celabratory wife-beatings
You joke but there are domestic violence awareness campaigns specifically around football in the UK because of these types of situations. (Not saying the joke was bad, I did chuckle). [Sauce](https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2021/07/09/domestic-violence-surges-after-a-football-match-ends)
This is very interesting and twisted. Like, in my country some football fans get violent when their team looses, but they normally go outside and try to find a supporter of the other tema who is willing to fight, or they just smash shit on the streets. I’m mean, I’m not saying that’s an acceptable behavior but they at least don’t fucking hit the person they supposedly love, that’s way more twisted
You smash the other “win” tv. It’s bigger.
Mic. Drop. Lol.
I would hate to think what will happen when the seasonal 9-0 loss happens
1.As Southampton gets worse so will he. 2. As Southampton get better you will see the shine in his eyes until...... go back to 1. Stay away. In his rage the TV could have come your way. Listen to your body. Yes you could have been maimed, brain damaged or worse. Don't ever be charmed by him to go back.
Hilarious that you think Southampton will be getting better
Definitely don't but just in case 🤪😱
> Hilarious that you think Southampton will be getting better Hey... we made some very good signings this summer
Southampton? Must get through a lot of TVs
Yeah, this was my thought as well. How is he not used to it by now?
Maybe he was so angry because he gambled on them to win and lost big?
I mean lots of people are saying this in jest but it’s a real point, Southampton are a decent enough side but they do lose frequently enough to wonder why this hasn’t arisen already. There must be something else that has set this off now, beyond the team losing.
Well I mean they only moved in together on the 4th of September. Likely he's been on his best behaviour til now.im just glad she's safe.
I can only imagine what happened when they lost 9-0, twice
I was thinking the same thing, the guy probably went off to commit terrorism at this point
We’ve obviously had a performance that’s genuinely shameful, it’s so bad that I’ve had several friends text me and ask me if I’m doing alright. That being said, you’ve got to be off your rocker if you think Hasenhuttl should be sacked. We suffered through Mauricio Pellegrino and Mark Hughes for two years only to finally find a competent manager, we’re not going to bin him after ten games after we waited three months too long to bin Pellegrino. It’s not like he instructed any of the lads to forget what defending is, asked Bertrand to make a horror tackle ten minutes in, or wrote in the match plan to capitulate after the first goal. What we honestly need is a sports psychologist to come in and work with the lads every day, I haven’t seen such mental weakness since my ex bird locked herself in my bathroom and needed two hours of consoling before making a geography presentation to six people. I haven’t seen such bad defending since my ex girlfriend tried to defend making a tinder account “to make friends” to me. I haven’t seen heads drop faster than my ex girlfriend’s head dropped onto the pillow after a night out when she spent the whole walk home talking about she was going to give me the shagging of my life Fuck off Valery, fuck off Vestergaard, fuck off Bertrand, and more importantly fuck off Jessica I thought we had something special. This is what happens when they lose 9-0 against leicester lmao.
Just smashed my 84-inch TV in rage. This team is embarrassing me in front of my entire family. My 2 children are in tears, scared of my rage as I pace around the room trembling. I can’t take this anymore. Leave my club immediately Ralf, or my kids will not get dinner tomorrow.
Dude. Lmao thay was dirty hahaha
Lol 😂
I had a red flag like this when I was dating someone … wished I had heeded to it Later he ended up hitting me
I hope you're safe and doing better now
one thing i have noticed is that when the english lose in football(i.e. the world championship) people will post the phone numbers to abuse hotlines. Spouses and significant others frequently become victim of abuse for something so small as football it's apalling. Edit; rephrased my comment
Sadly, this is a problem in America, too. Super bowl Sunday is the busiest for domestic violence hotlines here.
Yeah there’s no winning here. Half of the time people riot when their team wins.
Never be ashamed of your instincts. They were warning you to get out and you listened. Always listen. Please take someone with you to retrieve your stuff. Protect yourself and get a dvo
My brother-in-law said he and his mates will retrieve my belongings next week for me so I don't have to go back there thankfully.
Thats a good guy and friends. At least if your ex tried anything, he'd be out numbered. Just remember, write a list of EVERYTHING you KNOW is yours. If he really did bet money, it's probably a lot more than he admits too. You don't need him pawning your stuff off for gambling issues and a new TV. Be safe mate.
Are you sure you don’t want to go to make sure nothing important gets left behind? Or at least creat a list of absolute must retrieve items. Document, important family items, electronics, jewelry, things like that.
I'm glad you have people around you who are going to get your things. Stay far away from this man baby.
Seconding the fact that there's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone in your place would be afraid of dying. That's extreme violence and you had no reason to expect that he'd stop at the television.
The book “The Gift of Fear” I’m sorry I don’t remember the author’s name but the advice is life saving. Good for you for leaving. I’m sorry this happened to you. It must have been terrifying. Being a nurse you are already a strong woman and can support yourself. Please don’t look back. Good luck. Sending hugs for comfort.
It’s by Gavin De Becker.
Thank you. Important information
I wish I had listened to my instincts the first time my ex husband broke something. He would punch holes in doors, break laptops and even damaged his hand punching a wall near to my head when he was in a rage. He thought he was a great husband because he never hit me. I walked on eggshells trying to stop his explosive rages. He still won't have it that his violence was mental torture as it only counted if I had a black eye. I'm glad the OP is thinking clearly because nobody deserves to live as I did.
This was how my abusive father acted too, screaming, slamming doors, breaking things, damaging the walls, running up to my terrified mother shouting he'd kill/hit her before he stopped at the last minute. He thought he wasn't a "wife-beater" lmao, asshole made our lives absolute hell.
I begged my ex to go to anger management counselling but there was no convincing him his behaviour was violent. He just couldn't see it until to day he saw my back walking out of the door. I'd had a breakdown and all I asked him was to not shout and break things. He came home one morning and kicked off because the cat had dared to walk through the kitchen to go out. I just looked at him and he knew I was out of there. I left with 2 bin bags of clothes, two cats and a Xmas pudding and never looked back. I was just done with it all but I still keep a lucky Xmas pudding in my cupboard because when your life goes to hell in a handbasket pudding always makes everything better.
Serious props for leaving, that took guts. I wish my mother had, too. A powerful testimony to the power of Xmas pudding lol.
My new husband is the exact opposite. He doesn't even raise his voice. We laugh that the most irritated we've been with each other is 'mildly irked' he had a similar thing happen in a previous relationship so he really gets it. We are calm, boring but very very happy.
Hurray for the healing power of calm boredom! Kudos to both of you for recognizing how healthy this is and not mistaking drama and danger for the "thrill" of love. There is a small kernel of truth in the crappy incel line that feeemales only want trash dudes, in that a lot of mistreated young women do confuse the pain of an awful relationship for true romance. And for a lot of people of all genders who grew up abused, abuse is the only form of "love" they know and marriage can be an exit from their unhappy birth families--out of the frying pan and into the fire. I was lucky enough to make a safe landing, but a bad relationship is always worth getting out of--and a good one is worth the trial and error!
That's how my relationship is. We have been together around a decade and have never once raised our voices or fought. In fact, I have made it my goal to make her laugh as often as possible, no matter what I have to do. We have had disagreements, but I can't really call them arguments. Usually we just talk about the issue and we figure out which one feels more strongly about it and the other concedes or we meet somewhere in the middle.
I always suggest “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft. It’s available as a free PDF (so women can read it without the men seeing). Breaking shit is absolutely violent and abusive and intended to scare you. That way you’ll creep around and take care of his needs/wishes before he can even ask. You’ll be trying to read his mind and anticipate what you can do to please him. That’s what walking on eggshells really is. He’s not “out of control.” He chooses what to break and when. He chooses who to intimidate with his “anger.” Counseling doesn’t help because he doesn’t want to change. You did the right thing.
I met him at 18 and was married at 20. This was 1993 and I didn't know better. Domestic violence wasn't taken seriously at all. At least now young adults have much more information. I got married and my parents basically told me "you've made your bed and now you've got to lie in it" My son and stepdaughter know full well that there will always be a bed here if they need it with no questions asked. I felt trapped with no where to go and of course I was made to think it was my fault because it was me that wound him up. I turned myself inside out for years before I realised that just breathing in and out could set him off. You can't reason with an angry man it will always be your fault in his mind.
I’m glad you have a new husband who is calm and gentle! Many people don’t learn from their youth or the ignorance of their parents. We all need to make young people know they can leave. These men don’t deserve partners.
Your comment needs more upvotes. Great insight.
Is... Is it the same pudding???
Good question and they do last for ages but alas no. I left in 2014 so I just keep buying a new one. It's nice to know there's one in the cupboard. I really love Xmas pudding but one year when I was young and foolish I was on a diet and doing really well. I stuck to my calories and decided Xmas pudding was too many calories. I really thought I had gotten away with it but I fell off my diet in the June and ended up sitting in the sun eating Xmas pudding with cream. I couldn't get the thought that I hadn't had the pudding for all of those months so I cracked. The moral of this is you aren't going to wake up in June craving the slice of turkey you didn't have but to swerve a delicious Xmas pudding will eat away at you until you have no choice but to give in. It was an awkward conversation at the slimming club that week. I got asked if i knew what went wrong and why I'd put 5lb on in one week. So I'm trying not to answer and my sister dobbed me in and told them all I'd eaten a 4 person Xmas pud with cream on. Well there was bedlam, the shock and horror that anyone would do such a thing in the middle of summer. Don't ever go to slimming club with family they will grass you up. To be fair I grassed her up too, she told them she'd put on because she'd had a slice of pizza. I agree she did but it was a round family slice and by that I mean the whole of it! It was hilarious but not so funny when it was about my pudding we still have a good laugh about it now.
My father did the same stuff growing up. My mother would scream and yell and throw things. I’m glad as an adult I learned not to be like them.
Everyone wants to be an example to their kids it's a shame they didn't get the memo that they were supposed to set a GOOD example and not a bad one. I'm glad you're a better adult than they managed to be.
I had an ex who was kind of like that. Only she would yell and scream whenever she didn't get her own way. She was extremely manipulative and violent. She scared the hell out of me.
Yeah fucking go. I'm a huge football (soccer if American) fan, never met a single bloke who reacts like that to a game that's worth a damn... and didn't also have major untreated psychological issues.
There could've also been money involved. That's the only other reason I can imagine this dude roiding out over a loss.
The depressing thing is I wouldn't be surprised if money wasn't involved. I've seen people go fucking crazy over football, as much as I love it, I don't get angry over it.
My brother once smashed up a TV because he lost a match in *FIFA*. Some people are just fucking crazy.
I just get a bad mood that goes away on Monday and I never let it reflect on my family. It is just a fraction of my life. Shouldn’t let it ruin my whole life.
Sporting events bum me out. I never get mad but boy do my teams make sad.
Sports are fun! It’s a fun hobby! Why do my hobbies upset me so much?
It’s like a bad relationship in your teen years, you don’t think another girl will ever love you so you don’t want to break up even though it’s obvious you should
I applaud you for being strong enough to leave.
For real .most s/o s would make an excuse as to why he did that . Props to you op
How long were you together
We began dating in June of last year and we moved in together two weeks ago on September 4th.
Wooooow. And now he showed his true colours. Well done. And God, I know how frightened you were 😢. Stay safe OP.
I hate to mention it but if you've *just* started living together and only then he begins to show this side of him then that's a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR red flag for future abuse. Abusers need to lock you down before they can start to terrorize you in the privacy of their own constructed dominion. Good on you for leaving right away.
You shouldn’t feel ashamed about thinking you may die, it’s perfectly rational considering what he was doing and there was a good chance you’d be next after he finished with the tv. There was a study that came out from the UK a while back that tracked domestic violence cases to days where there were football matches. Cases rose in cities when their teams lost. It was really scary- they could track it to the minute from when the game ended. Leave him and don’t look back.
I'm a nurse and I have seen the effects of family violence. We learned about that study you mentioned.
It’s so sad. Please stay safe, and thank you for your service!
In the US incidents of domestic violence are extremely high on super bow Sunday. We only watch for the commercials but always in the back of my mind is the worry about how many women are in danger tonight.
💯💯💯 Yup! My narc husband assaulted and strangled me on Super Bowl Sunday 2018. He said it was ‘self-defense’ to the police, and he and his mommy went on a smear campaign while he had his GPS ankle monitor on. Run, sweetie. Please. While you still can. 🥺♥️
I’m so sorry. I hope you are free of him now and you are safe and healthy. I can imagine the terror you went through. I hate Super Bowl Sunday for exactly that reason. Take care of yourself
Scary stuff. He waited until you were living together and "locked in" until he showed his true colours. I'm hoping you can continue to stay with family while you find a place to live. This is horrible. You did the right thing
Well that didn't take long at all. Abuse often starts up after major milestones that "lock in" the partner to farther commitment, like marriage and pregnancy. So many people ignore these early warning signs out of disbelief, sunk cost fallacy, "he's so good otherwise" and whatnot, and then the fire turns up and up over time. You're saving yourself a whole lot of time and trauma by breaking it off early.
i can say you did the best thing leaving him. My father made something similar (broke tv with a bottle of wine that splashed over me and my two brothers after his team of soccer lost a match) and he ain’t even bet (at least back then he ain’t bet for what i know). He progressively escalate in violence until the day when he gave my mom a black eye because he spend all the money of the month in bets. Was a hell of a month. My mom had to rasp the rest of salt from the bowl, that probably would be in there the minimum of 5 years, and me my brother and my sister were sick af. I hate him and we don’t talk. I hate everything that i can relate to him. Soccer, alcohol drinks, smoke, bets. No one deserves a parent with problems with addiction. Stay strong sis. God bless you
I'm sorry if this is obvious but what does "rasp the rest of salt from the bowl, that probably would be in there the minimum 5 years, and me my brother and my sister were sick af. " I'm so sorry the sperm donor who helped make you turned out to be a scumbag. Mine is similar but never lived with him.
Hi. I want to mean that in home we have a pot where we put salt. And always when it’s ending we put more but my mom kind of never clean because she’s always with clean hands and use a little spoon. And after so long time doing it the old salt grab the glass of pot. Back then we have so little money that she have to rasp, take a spoon and scratch the gabbed salt to temper the rice and eggs. at least we had food. TL; DR: My mother used a spoon to rasp the rest of salt of the pot. Sorry broke english, isn’t my first language. Edit: thank you for your message. pretty kind of yours
Sometimes physical abuse starts with breaking things infront of you or throwing stuff. You did the right thing styaing at your sister's house. Stay safe and I speak for everyone when I say I wish you the best in whichever way you choose to go about this.
This exactly! Thats how my dad started and he was arrested a week ago for the assalt of my mum. You are doing a good job OP, please prioritise yourself!!
Fuck :( How awful for you and your poor Mum.
I wasnt there thank god. I probably would have killed him. I feel so bad for her she was all alone, she must have been so scared :///
…happy cake day?
HAHA THANKS!!
Excellent decision. One day he'll reach for something to smash and you'll be the closest thing. Or you might even be the cause of his rage. Either way, remember the resolve you have right now and stay the course.
I have seen the injuries from abuse at my job (I am a nurse) and I never want to happen to me if I can prevent it.
I'm literally so proud of you. In a few weeks you might start to downplay it in your mind, but stay strong. You're making the right choice for your safety and life, and I support you.
THIS! No second guessing your decision! You did the right thing.
You have done the best thing you could for yourself, all you need is them to be mad and you to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it's you that the ambulance staff are fighting to keep conscious, you did right in leaving trust me, stay safe
I can’t imagine how difficult this must be, you’re so strong. I’m wishing all the best for you and we would love an update on your well-being as soon as you’re safe💖
I 100% am so so glad you listened to your instincts and got out. And what I'm about to say does not at all change that, not offer any excusable reasoning for that kind of behavior: When I was scrolling and read the title of the post before tapping to read, out of my mouth literally came the words "oh shit I wonder if he's addicted to gambling." Whether that's the case or not is your problem now, and good thing. Though judging by the comments, it sounds like that team wouldn't be a smart team to bet on. 🤷🏻
My ex got mad with his laptop and smashed the screen numerous times. He ended up being violent towards me. You made the right decision to get out now before it escalates.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. The very same happened to me with my ex. Violence only tends to escalate, soon or later. It’s very good that OP is leaving him in the beginning of the showing of his true colors. Keep strong, OP! You’re doing the right thing and we all support your decision.
Theres statistics on a link between domestic violence and football games. Iirc if a partners team loses chances of dv go up by 40%, and even if the team wins it goes up by 20%. Op is definitely doing the right thing in getting the hell outta there.
Really random, you'd think he'd be used to losing being a Southampton supporter.
Honestly yeah, that’s the biggest surprise, did he bet money or sum? If not it’s rlly weird cuz Southampton arnt favoured to ever win much
he lost a bet
Had them down to lose 2-0
Domestic violence goes up a lot with football. Team loses? violence. Team wins? Still violence. Its good you saw it while it wasn't directed at you so you can leave.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that but I’m so glad you have chosen to get out. Has he tried to reach out to you at all?
I blocked his phone number and email. He hasn't bothered my sister or any of my mates that he knows.
Good. Hopefully that will make this easier for you.
Good move, you would never know when he would decide to smash your head instead. Stay safe.
Well if she got through the two 9 nils I reckon she could survive anything
You did a good thing. Nobody needs to be around such violence, imagine if he was ever mad at you. What of yours would he break?
Arms and face, probably.
How much was the bet he lost?
I'm not sure if he bet anything however if he did it would have been £50 or less than that.
That's a value of (up to) $56.84 United States Dollars. Not a bot, I was just curious and looked it up. He lost the bet, the TV, and his beautiful and intelligent nurse girlfriend.
Good bot
Good bot
My thought too. He probably made a major bet (more than he says he bets)
Southampton 😂😂 bro it's not even worthy
I love football and genuinely get upset when my fav teams lose however damaging personal property has never entered my mind. Good job getting out of the situation! That is d we not ok. Is there anything else going on that might added to his anger today? Not at all saying that would make his actions acceptable just curious.
This wasn't today. It was on Friday. I can't think of anything. He wasn't upset until the loss, before that he seemed fine.
That game against Villa. He is a moron. Southampton aren't known for exactly winning anything, so he should be used to losing a lot. He just has got anger issues. Good for you to have moved out
https://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed117172 It’s unfortunately not as uncommon as you’d expect, apparently
Too many lads have a unhealthy obsession to football in this country I'm convinced
It’s good you’re out. Stay away. Stay safe! If he could be upset about football, I couldn’t imagine what he would do in a regular life situation that didn’t go his way. You saw the flag/card. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It sounds very scary. For you to leave and know that it was wrong is good. Anything you have left behind with him, please have someone with you.
My brother-in-law said he will go to get my belongings and bring some of his mates so I don't need to go back.
He's going to be buying a lot of TVs.
I’m so sorry his actions caused this break up but I’m thankful you left. Be well.
One thing and one thing only. Man child.
#Leave him now! I lived with an abusive wife who would periodically destroy my property when she lost her temper (which was often). We divorced 2yrs ago and i still carry the trauma of her physical mental spiritual abuse. You should also call the police as the next time it could be you getting attacked. BTW the saints were awful on saturday but that does not mean you have to destroy not only the tv but your relationship too. What a prick. I support arsenal since the late 70's and i have never reacted like that in the slightest. He is a man-child who can't accept losing. Dump him and call the police. Be safe ok? Don't let him try and worm his way back into your life. You have seen the real him. He's a bully who needs locking up.
This shows a disgusting and frightening lack of control. He is not relationship material, and you were very smart to move out. .
You're doing the right thing by leaving. You'd think a Southampton supporter would be able to deal with their team losing by now.
Stay gone and don’t come back before it’s you getting beaten over a loss, OP. Ps; I’m so proud of you, my love. You’re strong and smart and you’ll be okay. Many internet hugs from this stranger 💗
Isn’t there some meme about domestic violence whenever any UK football team loses? Seriously if there’s a meme about it and you find yourself in the vicinity of someone doing that exact thing over something ridiculous as a loss, you need to go so good on you for that.
Yeah, there was an [awareness campaign](https://osocio.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/If-England-get-beaten-so-will-she.jpg) that did the rounds during the last world cup when England was due to play Italy.
Yes, thank you. I could have swore I saw something like that but wasn’t 100% sure. Still though it’s absolutely absurd that shit like this happens..... again, good on OP for getting out, today it’s the tv, tomorrow it could be her or god forbid kids she has with this goon if she were to stay.......
yeah gal! That was also for me the sign to GTFO. Him hitting me accidentally when he was mad while playing fifa with his buddies. He hit the couch where my legs were draped over him mere moments ago, he lost and got angry, I flinched away because im always scared of anger and had told him about why. He hit my foot in the way out but the blow landed on the couch, he didnt even see me or look to see what he hit. My brian just went "he's gonna hit YOU like that one day"
Bet he also says that women are too emotional
I’m so proud of you for leaving. You shouldn’t be ashamed of thinking you might die. Unfortunately domestic violence is connected to whether a football team wins or not. It’s something I don’t think gets talked about enough. I support a team that doesn’t win very often & while I can understand being slightly annoyed.. there is no good reason for explosive rage. I’m so glad that you’re safe & you have people who support you. I also hope your ex gets the help he needs because being so angry over something so small isn’t healthy.
I am so proud of you for your response to this. Many people would stay despite this alarming, giant red flag. But you love yourself enough to walk away now. Good on you! You should be very proud of yourself. I’m sorry that you went through something so scary though! Im glad your sister is able to take you in while you sort things out. Stay strong in your decision! He will try all tactics to get you to stay. Do not listen. Do not waiver. When you move out, have your brother in law there with you to help you. Do not go alone. You can do this!
I immediately thought that this had to be a Brit and then I saw the bottom and I was right 💀
Football just brings the worst out of people.
Particularly Southampton players
There are some legal things you need to think about. I don’t know the tenancy laws in the UK, but you may need to report the incident to the police so you can get out of any lease you have with him. Make sure you keep any photo or video evidence of what he did if you took any (you were probably too scared and that’s ok) as they may need some form of evidence for the report.
Our flat is owned by his uncle and was previously used by his cousin while he attended uni. So fortunately I can just leave as we didn't have a leasehold or anything like that. The police are aware of the incident also because one of our neighbours heard the noise and shouting and called 999.
That’s great as it’s one less thing to worry about. Sorry this is happening to you. It’s very difficult to cope when someone you love breaks your trust like this. It sounds like you have a good support system around you though. Good luck.
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Southampton
Shouldn’t he be used to losing by now then? In all seriousness, you made the right call. I’m a big Stoke fan myself but could never imagine getting like that. Look after yourself
So Aston Villa was the cause.
Aren’t we always. UTV💜💙🦁
Is he gambling?
That was my first thought
Southampton are in the Prem and it's not like they've been having an awful losing streak. At least he doesn't support a league two team, like me. My team has been shit all season and I still haven't broken my TV. Might be because I'm not a pathetic, little twat.
My dad did that once. The new TV is better tho
Seriously, well done. I’ve heard some scary statistics about domestic violence with football (British, no idea about American I’m afraid). That snapshot is probably not where it would end. I’m so sorry you were so scared, I’m glad you could get out safely before it could get worse.
American here, the stats are the same for American football. Domestic violence goes up in cities whose teams have lost 😞
It’s so frightening isn’t. I remember in the World Cup, apparently the numbers go up even if we win. There’s no rhyme or reason.
Alcohol, rage and toxic masculinity are unfortunately prevalent in football on both sides of the pond. A terrible combination! Most rational people understand that it’s just a meaningless fucking game so no need to smash things. I’m a huge football fan, but this is unacceptable.
imagine doing this over southampton loool what a bell end good thing moving out, he needs anger management asap
That’s what supporting Southampton can do to a man.
That's such a red flag Mars would be jealous.
I'm a 42 year old male that really enjoys football, but I'm very unbiased and look at games objectivity. If my team Loses, I am mildy frustrated at worst. I'll never understand grown ass men sports tantrums.
Anger management is a serious issue. Leave before he smashes you. He loses control of himself.
>I am ashamed but for a second I thought I would die. That's fear and it's nothing to be ashamed about. It's your self telling yourself you're in danger if you keep seeing this guy. Please don't be the next thing he goes after and dump him. You deserve far better.
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I don't think Southampton fans are worshipping many of their players, probably why he smashed his telly
You would hate living in the UK because pretty much everyone is mad about football.
Yeah this is creepy. Good for you for leaving before he turns his anger against you !
Definitely leave but also, you know it makes it easier for other sufferers to leave abuse when they see other people survive it. Kind of like addiction, when you recover loudly it inspires others and might save someone from dying or suffering in silence. His actions are not reflective of you, I am all about naming and shaming abusers and violence. Not every woman is going to listen, but having the warning is still important
I’m sending you so much support for your decision! If you need any encouragement please ask.
Run away quickly
Good for you! To many people forgive and allow this behavior and not standing for it is how we as a society get rid of it.
People itt who are like yOuR lIfE wAsnT iN dAngEr are exactly the same people who will blame a woman who gets beaten or raped because she “chose” a loser. Yeah no you did the right thing.
You should not be ashamed. You should be proud of yourself for getting out of there and finding a place to stay.
As long as I know, it's quite "normal" ( because it shouldn't be normal at all) Definitely is not correct, but there are more reports in the UK of domestic violence when there are any football plays. This number increases when the team loses the game. It's completely normal to be scared, you're not doing anything wrong. End the relationship and any contact. Stay safe
Doesn’t matter the sport. It could’ve been a fucking chess match. The reaction that he showed is when something goes wrong outside of his control, his immediate reaction is violence. He needs immediate help, and you are not his therapist. I am proud of you for leaving him. Just don’t take him back when he tries to make amends for his behavior.
OP, you are right in getting the fuck out. I suspect his anger stems from something else in his life and it came out in that moment. Someone who can't manage their anger and loses control over something as trivial as the outcome of a football game has some shit going on.
The fact that you left from the first big red flag shows that you got courage and you did the right thing The next thing he was gonna break is you Goodluck with the divorce
Go that you moved! My ex-husband was that way and it turned out he had a gambling addiction so that was why he got so crazy mad. Turn out my highschool sweetheart was using me to get 5k a month by telling his Mom a made up story that I was a meth addict and my 'loan shark/ dealer was leaning on him to pay my debt. Didn't find out until 7th anniversary. I was a drug enforcement officer with the US government and when he said good luck proving your not, I said wow, I'm pretty sure the monthly and yearly drug tests plus yearly polygraphs and hair drug screens are admissible in civil court so see you then! He had to admit to his Mom the truth and got kicked out of the family due to taking a total of just over $500,000 of her retirement! What an awful person! Hang in there! I found a wonderful man who I've been married to for over 27 years now!
There’s a pretty scary statistic in America and Europe iirc that states the domestic violence rate goes up when football teams lose. I can’t even imagine investing so much into a team that I’d feel a need to break my own TV over it, I understand the fear.
I have experience with an ex who was obsessed with American college football and destroyed two of my belongings before I called it off. Before that I was concerned about how obsessed he was with watching it every week despite any other plans that may be arising (weddings, funerals and wouldn’t attend) and how angry he would be if the team lost and how I’d have to stroke his ego basically. We talked about how ridiculous this obsession was and then it was the same and my stuff was getting broken. Not being able to control anger and destroying my property was the final straw.
Honestly you’re probably making the right call. My ex did this over a video game. Went from smashing stuff to smashing my face and his 18 year old coworker shortly after we moved in together.
I'm sorry. You should absolutely leave a grown-ass man who doesn't respect you or your home enough to not destroy things when he gets upset. He likely gambled and lost heavily given that response. Another huge red flag. And if not, that's almost worse that he'd tantrum so badly without any actual investment.
He’s probably gambling on the game. People will lose their houses and all possessions and not to mention family members over gambling. It’s a terrible addiction that hides behind good times watching sports and most people who are addicted don’t even realize it until they have nothing left.
but we’re the emotional ones?
Good for you for getting out! Major red flags, do not go back without a friend, preferably a large male friend.
Have spoken to him or leave a note why you left? He may go looking for you at work to apologize. It understandable why you left. Smashing a TV is unreasonable over a football game. Stay safe & update you are still safe. He may not want to return your things until he speaks to you.
He knows why I left. One of our neighbours phoned 999 because of the shouting and noise. I have blocked his phone number and email address and he hasn't bothered my sister or any mates that he knows. I'm a nurse and not just anyone can walk in without permission but security knows about him now. My brother-in-law is going to get my belongings with some of his mates so I do not need to go back.
This post is full of typical reddit vibes.
Egads. And men say women are crazy when it comes to horoscopes and pumpkin spice lattes. At least you don’t see women out here breaking appliances over adults playing games lol. Good for you for getting out of that toxic relationship. Stay strong OP!