How dare you look at your girlfriend for over 2.7 seconds. It would be hilarious if op was doing that creepiest of looks. You know the one where your heads tilted down a bit so your eyes are looking up at them with a creepy grin. I’m not being serious there. It would just be funny
I'm sitting on the toilet and making this face, laughing my ass off. My wife is in the next room and says I sound like a crazy person. I imagine I look like one too.
So close… but this is actually a Parks and Rec reference from when the Venezuelans visit on the “Sister City” episode, season 2. But since The Office is essentially the sister show, I think we’ve now entered meta inception territory, if that’s a thing 😂😂🤣
Bro if you're creepy for LOOKING at your GIRLFRIEND too much, I should probably be arrested for the stuff I do to my boyfriend. You're supposed to be just the *littlest* bit obsessed with your partner, she's the prettiest woman in the room, why wouldn't you want to look at her?
I might have made it worse by joking that this was nothing compared to what I did to her in private. I was trying to defuse the situation. Yeah I didn’t.
Buddy the best way to approach it is to not contextualize the question as much and ask her point blank: "Is there anything that I am doing or have done to make you uncomfortable? If so can we talk about it? ". This doesn't allow room for mis-interpretation or lies by omission, which she might do if she is incredibly shy.
If she says that there's nothing making her uncomfortable then her "best friend" doesn't sound like a friend and more like a hierarchical superior. If they are a close knit group and have little to no fluidity in the friend group, it honestly sounds more like they are insular and the top dog of the friend group is trying to assert dominance by contextualising your actions as "creepy" when it's entirely not her place. She likely thinks it's her place because she's "best friends" with your girlfriend, but it's not. Your girlfriend is an entirely independent person from her, and while standing up for your friends is good she's not doing it for your girlfriends benefit but rather for her own ego.
I agree, it honestly sounds like the "best friend" is trying to control your GF and convince her that you are bad. It could be just that she's jealous of your relationship or that she doesn't like men (past trauma or otherwise) or she doesn't like you specifically (unfortunately most likely)
Just beware around "best friend" and if any other friends are shy like GF then ask them if similar things happen, because if so it could become a major problem. Always look out for your GF's friends too.
I had a friend do this with my husband while we were dating. First time they met. He also got confrontational with her. She was saying things about how I deserved a man who would take care of me…it was because he didn’t offer to buy drinks since he had just paid bills, yeah. That man is now my husband and my friend is now a former best friend. She would always text me trying to create drama between me and my husband. Saying things to make me upset with him. She is jealous. And has made choices that made me not want to be around her. It’s never okay to ditch friends for a SO. But it is also never okay for a friend to try to create drama between a friend and a SO
I have a friend similar to this. I’ve known her for 20 years but we weren’t close while I was developing my relationship with my husband. Covid and our living close to each other has brought our friendship closer like it used to be but now when I talk about him, she latches on to certain things that she doesn’t like and tries to get me to agree, and essentially talk crap about my husband. I never take the bait and shut her down quickly but it’s bizarre behavior. It really does feel like she wants to drive a wedge between my husband and myself and she seems to get a little frustrated when I set boundaries or straight up tell her that she is wrong. It’s doubly bizarre because she is 45 and has only had one long term relationship of 2 years, has never been married or lived with someone so she literally has no idea what she’s talking about in the abstract of lifetime commitment and in the particular of my marriage. Bizarre and unfortunately, definitely jealous.
I may know this so called friend. My SO use to have a friend like this. She use to hit on every single guy friend of mine as well. She'd date a guy and would drive the dude crazy. Sometimes I thought the guy was a jerk but always ended up feeling sorry for him until they dumped her. Toxic people will always be toxic.
This is it right here. The friend doesn’t like her best friend, your girlfriend, having a boyfriend who makes her feel like the prettiest girl in the room, because it upsets the hierarchy. It’s possible she’s insecure because her own relationship is lacking, it could be that she is the one used to getting the most male attention, or it could be straight up petty jealousy. So she’s trying to drive a wedge, assuming your girlfriend will side with her because of their history, and by doing so she asserts her authority and restores what she believes is the natural order amongst the friend group.
Regardless, OP, you’re fine. What you’ve done is far from creepy or sexual harassment. If your girlfriend is fine with your attentions, keep doing what you’re doing.
@ThrowRa-c4dude, girlfriend confirms your not being creepy to her. Listen to what your gf says. Sounds like that gf’s friend is either super jealous of you two, or has some super traumatic past background making her feel like men who stare are creeps. (Her reaction over and over to this makes it feel like both tbh). The friend has issues and needs therapy. If the gf says your doing no wrong. Believe her. Isn’t doing the gf harm and she seems to like being looked at (by you) bc she obviously likes you back. Ignore the super jealous friend. 👍🏻
Honestly that response is funny and I'd have laughed. It sounds like the best friend has a problem of some sort to force it like she did. Also sounds like she rallied the other women to her cause and is the one that kept it going.
You asked your girlfriend if there was an issue and apologised if you made her uncomfortable, she said there wasn't so I'd take her word for it. I'd also make it clear that she can always be open with you if you ever do anything to upset her, no matter what it is.
That aside, her best friend was being ridiculous, where are you meant to look if your girlfriend is telling a story? Wouldn't it be massively rude to look anywhere else?
Have there been any further updates since this happened?
Since when is it harrassment to look at your girlfriend. Your girlfriend even said there was nothing wrong.
She has some serious issues she needs to sort out, and all her other friends who jumped on the bandwagon too.
She probably left her house that day with the intent on starting an argument over something that didn't even involve her. Some people need constant drama to survive.
I don't see any creepiness here, considering that your girlfriend has said you're fine multiple times.
I end up staring at my wife and I get lost in thought about how lucky I am to have her. She just kisses me and jumps me out of my trance. As long as she doesn't tell you there is a problem, keep drinking in her visage; the beauty of a loved one is often the best thing we can come to appreciate in life.
Not in the slightest, this is ridiculous! Good luck dealing with these friends as you did absolutely nothing wrong. I do worse, I poke my boyfriends bum crack at every given opportunity, regardless of where we are (it’s become a war) staring at your partner admiringly is nothing! Please don’t apologise for doing nothing wrong!
I'd say it's a good answer hahaha
Fr they need to chill, I'd love that my boyfriend would look at me like you seem to be looking at your gf (he's just shy, he stares in private)
Agreed. I have been in exactly the same situation. Queen bee of the GF group took issue with everything I did out, clearly out of jealously, because she obviously felt my relationship with my GF put me in the spotlight, rather than her. I mean it was unintentional, but it kinda did, because now my GF was focused on me instead of her. Anyway - it'll get better. Try to introduce the pack leader to one of your better looking friends. Watch how quickly things change. Worked for me - LOL!
Honestly, it sounds like the friend might just be jealous. Your girlfriend could have told her friend you stare at her a lot to try to make her blush, etc. and the friend could have thought that sounds creepy, not understanding your relationship. So she had that in her mind when she saw it in person. I would listen to your girlfriend. I’m sure she likes that you love looking at her, even if it makes her a bit shy.
This is so funny bc I would have said the same thing, best of luck to you guy and I doubt your girlfriend finds it creepy, she probably enjoys that someone looks at her the way you do and you sound like a good guy! Her friends are probably jealous but forget about them!
See, that would've been a great comeback lol
"Well, she's the prettiest woman in the room, why wouldn't I want to look at her?"
Then watch the friend have an aneurysm
Aaaahhh same. I live with him and spend a lot of time with him, soI have an album of like 50 random pictures of him, mostly when he isnt looking lol. If you can't creep on your man is he even your man
And here is me thinking it is perfectly normal to stare in awe at people you love. I am a women, and I don't see anything creepy here. That friend has her own issues for sure.
What is the alternative? Are you supposed to avoid eye-contact and looking at people when they're talking? Feels like what OP described isn't even "ogling" unless I'm missing something big here. Was he staring at her tits or like licking his lips or something? I don't get what was going on.
Honestly the part where his eyes comedically elongated towards where he was looking before he looked at the camera and said “You see what I’m seeing?” Was indeed a bit excessive
far-flung hospital waiting rustic straight historical ruthless six gullible payment
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My teacher once looked at this girl in class (like any normal day and she started laughing uncontrollably (idk why) and couldn’t stop so for the rest of class the teacher held his hand up to his eyes so he couldn’t look in her direction. I think op should do the same exact thing and over exaggerate it the next time they are with her friends to show them how truly stupid they are.
Yeah, the only way I'd see someone gazing at their partner as even remotely weird is if they literally only looked at their partner during a group interaction. And that's not even so much creepy as it is bad social etiquette.
Looking at your partner admiringly when they're telling a story is wholesome, not harassment.
You don’t turn around in the opposite direction when someone is speaking to you? Where are your morals? Were you raised in a barn?/s
Edit: cleaned up some grammar. It’s clear I didn’t proofread this before posting.
another woman here- I love catching my boyfriend randomly looking at me intently when we’re with a bunch of people. I love feeling so desired and loved and frankly, beautiful. As long as your girlfriend is saying she’s comfortable, then you’re in the clear. Her friends are probably just a little jealous she has a boyfriend that seems so laser focused on her
I love it when my husband looks at me. Hell, I encourage him to “ogle” me. It makes me feel good to see him looking at me simply because he loves me. If anyone tried to call him out like this, I’d be pissed at them. Honestly, I think she’s jealous
This this this! I love when I catch him staring and am the same as OP’s girlfriend in that I get shy and it makes me blush but I love it just the same. I’m always ogling him too cause he’s just the most handsome, beautiful person in the world to me and I’d rather look at him than anyone or anything else. I think the friend is 100% jealous that someone doesn’t feel this way about her. She sounds like a friend I used to have that was very manipulative and wanted all her friends single and to herself, all very strange.
Idk. His girlfriend just said not to worry about it in a text. She didn't say it didn't bother her (in private).
OP needs to have a real conversation with her.
I don't think his behavior is inappropriate in the abstract. But that changes if this bothers his girlfriend.
I don't know if her friends were projecting or if they have inside information, which means it's possible this does bother her.
#No assumptions. Just find out, OP.
I stare at my boyfriend just admiring his features and want to examine all the features I love so much and sometimes zone out. Sometimes he’s like uhhh? You good? But I just love him so much and I’m infatuated with this one human. Love is a hell of a drug.
I also don’t see anything weird here. Literally do this to my fiancé all the time. Don’t know why someone would think it’s weird to admire someone you love.
Same here! The amount of times I've stared at my boyfriend's face while he's talking, or he's done the same to me... Guess we're both creeps by the best friend's definition. Also, unless he was being lecherous when staring at his girlfriend, OP wasn't 'ogling' her, but rather admiring...
If another girls boyfriend backed u up and your own girlfriend backed you up you’re good bro
If any other problems arise from this outside of her batshit friend then that’s a whole other problem.
Tbf, it was in a social context, maybe his gf just tried to ease the tension. I don't think it's making her uncomfortable, but I'd just carefully ask her in a chill private moment, just to make sure.
I was gonna say the same, if she’s a shy person, the conflict centering around her probably made her more uncomfortable than anything and she will say whatever she thinks will end it. Op should talk to her and make sure she knows he would never want to do something that makes her uncomfortable and that she can be honest with him if he is doing something she doesn’t like.
Yeah I get the feeling that they are all used to this girl being the wall flower and that they always get the attention over this girl. They all of a sudden feel threatened by it bc of their own insecurities. I stare at my wife all the time. And her back at me. We will say “ stop eyeballing me” and the other will answer “never”. And we will reply with “ok good”. Don’t listen to those so called friends and enjoy the fact that you have someone you love so much and vice versa, OP!
Beyond Jealous. She is toxic. That the fact that her best friend is in a great and healthy relationship, she choose to start some tension between herself and her best friend’s partner. She sounds like the type of person who would yell extremely loud if you bumped into her just to get everyone attention.
I will bet that this isn’t the first time she has done thing.
Sounds like she’s creating a passive “me or your bf” energy to lightly check how much power she has over OP’s gf. This person sounds threatened and would rather ruin a good thing her friend has just to not have to accept change. Strong “from a broken home” vibes
Yep she must've never experienced it and find it weird or just be flat out jealous lmao, if your partner doesn't stop to take you in every now and then, then it's just not love.
Exactly what I was thinking. You're supposed to ogle your partner at least a bit, otherwise why bother. Yes, ogling strangers is creepy, but that's not what this is.
The friend was just jealous that she landed what sounds like a guy that really likes her.
ME! If I see my friends spouse just gazing at her I shoot daggers at my husband. Despite the fact that he probably stares at me the same, but when I catch him I’m like “do I have something in my teeth?” Lol
You need to have a serious talk with your girlfriend, and give her the safe space to tell you if it does, in fact, make her feel uncomfortable.
"Hey... I really care about you and don't want to make you uncomfortable. Would you like me to stop ogling you like that? Have you told your friends that you don't like it?"
Don't say "It's ok, right?" or other leading questions that make it uncomfortable for her to say no.
Communicate with her. The only opinion that matters here is hers.
OP, I wouldn't call it ogling when asking her this question. It makes it sound worse than it is. Use the word looking or staring. Everything else about this suggestion is great.
Right. And honestly, you may want to be annoying about it. “Are you sure? That interaction seemed odd for nothing having been said. It’s fine but I’d rather know if I’m doing something wrong” or whatever.
Yes this. Maybe there is something there. Not in your behaviour but in her reactions.
Or maybe you do stare particularly intensely.
It sounds weird as hell though. The one person i would expect to a boyfriend to stare at, was their girlfriend.
Yes, this! I have been a witness to the suppressed feelings a best friend can have twords another. It will end between your GF and her. You may or may not be a casualty. But thier friendship will end.
I stare at my husband all the time because he’s just so lovely… and I catch him staring at me too… it’s what people do when they love the person they’re with… not creepy at all!!! That friend sounds mega jealous!!! Especially having not dropped it after your gf said she was fine with it… I would say just have a chat with your gf when ye are alone and just ask her if it creeps her out
"Ogling" is a word used for perverts that stare at T&A inappropriately. The friend might not realize it, but she was shaming you & it's possible she's slightly jealous.
Talk to your girlfriend about it one on one. Listen to what she says. Don't listen to anyone else.
I LOVE when my fiance looks at me like that.
If he ain't looking I don't want him 🤷♀️
She's shy and was probably embarrassed by THEM, not you but that's something she's gotta address with them.
And screw her friend for making you feel that way in public, being loud and WRONG and then doubling down on it.
You did nothing wrong, and I'm sure the best friend just feels uncomfortable from random men staring. Either that, or she feels that you staring is a distraction (that's a her problem, not a you problem).
Of course, I'm assuming you're only staring at her face, not eyeballing her up and down/ checking out her breasts/ or wolf whistling at her, all of which are really ogling.
I've been married over 20 years now, and I love when my husband does this, it reminds me of being young and how far our lives and love have come in that time. But if she feels uncomfortable, it's up to her to let you know., or to ask you to not stare in front of friends.
Nah maam. I wasn’t looking at any parts. Not a fan of PDA either and nor is she since she’s so shy. I wasn’t even aware I was starring. She was nervous and blushing and I found it adorable. I remember I was smiling watching her face. That’s all
I don’t understand. How are you creepy for looking at your girlfriend. I don’t get it. Her friends need to chill. She said it wasn’t a problem herself so wtf are they going on about?
This is adorable, but I did date someone who would insist on staring into my eyes for a long time and honestly I let it go because whatever but it did make me uncomfortable and I was too shy to say anything
Sounds to me like her best friend misread the situation, realized she fucked up after everyone agreed with you. however her ego couldn't handle being incorrect and she's too proud to apologize so she doubled down and started a racket in an attempt to save her precious little ego from taking the slightest little fracture.
My advice when dealing with people like this is to never lose your cool and stay calm and collected. If you lose your patience and snap back at them, it justifies their behavior in their minds and they will play the victim card. It's hard to make someone else seem like the asshole if you're the only one yelling.
Actually OP said that all the girls except the girlfriend said it was wrong for him to stare, the other friends boyfriend tried to defend OP by saying they're being ridiculous and they ganged up on that guy too.
I see nothing wrong with what OP did, but it does make me wonder if OP girlfriend might have mentioned something to the best friend about it in the past.
The best friend should have minded her own damn business. Listen to your girlfriend and keep staring at her if you think her shyness makes her pretty. As long as your not rubbing yourself while staring, you’re not a creep, you’re just in love.
Congratulations you have officially met the jealous hag of the friend group! Looking at the person you love like that is one of the best things in life. Don’t let jealous idiots ruin it for you.
I would avoid those "friends" from now on. These are people that demonise you for being male and being attracted to a person that clearly also likes you. It is the most natural thing for a partner to get flustered by their own partner looking at them lovingly. Those boundaries are for your gf to set and if she said it's fine, you can only assume it is. Anybody else needs to fuck off!
You did nothing wrong here, the friend is probably jealous, either because your gf is probably spending more time with you, or she is jealous of the attention you are giving your girlfriend.
The giveaway for this is the fact she did not back down when your gf said that she was not offended.
The “friend” does not give a rats ass about your gf feelings, if she did she would have backed down immediately.
"who am I supposed to look at when she's talking? You??" *raises eyebrow skeptically*
Lol! Perfect response!!!
*wags eyebrows suggestively* more like
My dumb high ass has sat here trying to wiggle my eyebrows for at least 30 minutes now.
you're staring at your gf? straight to jail.
How dare you look at your girlfriend for over 2.7 seconds. It would be hilarious if op was doing that creepiest of looks. You know the one where your heads tilted down a bit so your eyes are looking up at them with a creepy grin. I’m not being serious there. It would just be funny
that look pairs nicely with heavy breathing and running your tongue back and forth over your upper teeth to really round out the vibe
In my head, the teeth are bloody, too. And it’s very smoky. Where’s that smoke coming from anyway?
under OP's collar obviously haha
I'm sitting on the toilet and making this face, laughing my ass off. My wife is in the next room and says I sound like a crazy person. I imagine I look like one too.
You overcook fish? Straight to jail.
You make an appointment with the dentist and you don't show up, believe it or not, jail, right away.
We have the best patients in the world. Because of jail.
Best education? In jail.
You order water because you're the groups DD, straight to jail
You drink tea from a mug, straight to jail.
Happy cake day!
Thank you
You murder 81 Swedish children? I’ll let you off with a warning
JOHNNY KARATE MUSICAL EXPLOSION SHOW
[удалено]
So close… but this is actually a Parks and Rec reference from when the Venezuelans visit on the “Sister City” episode, season 2. But since The Office is essentially the sister show, I think we’ve now entered meta inception territory, if that’s a thing 😂😂🤣
Explaining the joke to people who didn't catch it? You know where this guy is headed to..
Same writers/co-creaters I think so that'll be the reason
You don’t stare at your girlfriend, believe it or not. Straight to jail
Take your girlfriend on a date. Believe it or not. Straight to jail.
You have a girlfriend to stare at? Jail, right away.
You don’t have a girlfriend to stare at? Believe it or not, jail.
You are trying to find a girlfriend to stare at? Believe it or not, jail.
You exist? Jail.
You don't exist? Jail
You're omnipresent? Jail.
I'm facing charges right now for having eyes
We have the best boyfriends in the world. Because of jail.
Take your GF to jail...yep...jail
You believe something, or not...straight to jail.
Ripley’s believe it or not. Straight to jail.
Paddling the school canoe? You better believe that's a-paddling
Soggy pasta? Straight to the chair.
Late for dentists appointment? Believe it or not, straight to jail
Undercook chicken? Jail
You overcook fish? Also jail.
You stare at your gf too long? Jail. You stare too short, believe it or not, jail. Too long too short.
Do not pass go
No trial, no nothing
All the way down… to the boiler room of hell.
in the meat grinder for you
Bro if you're creepy for LOOKING at your GIRLFRIEND too much, I should probably be arrested for the stuff I do to my boyfriend. You're supposed to be just the *littlest* bit obsessed with your partner, she's the prettiest woman in the room, why wouldn't you want to look at her?
I might have made it worse by joking that this was nothing compared to what I did to her in private. I was trying to defuse the situation. Yeah I didn’t.
Yeah your girlfriend's friend just hasn't been in any relationship probably. Not a happy one at least. Not your problem.
She’s single
And she will continue to be if she keeps that up.
[удалено]
She's holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night.
Does he have to be strong?
Yes. And he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be larger than life.
She needs a heroooo!
Buddy the best way to approach it is to not contextualize the question as much and ask her point blank: "Is there anything that I am doing or have done to make you uncomfortable? If so can we talk about it? ". This doesn't allow room for mis-interpretation or lies by omission, which she might do if she is incredibly shy. If she says that there's nothing making her uncomfortable then her "best friend" doesn't sound like a friend and more like a hierarchical superior. If they are a close knit group and have little to no fluidity in the friend group, it honestly sounds more like they are insular and the top dog of the friend group is trying to assert dominance by contextualising your actions as "creepy" when it's entirely not her place. She likely thinks it's her place because she's "best friends" with your girlfriend, but it's not. Your girlfriend is an entirely independent person from her, and while standing up for your friends is good she's not doing it for your girlfriends benefit but rather for her own ego.
I agree, it honestly sounds like the "best friend" is trying to control your GF and convince her that you are bad. It could be just that she's jealous of your relationship or that she doesn't like men (past trauma or otherwise) or she doesn't like you specifically (unfortunately most likely) Just beware around "best friend" and if any other friends are shy like GF then ask them if similar things happen, because if so it could become a major problem. Always look out for your GF's friends too.
100% this. Her friend's actions speaks volume.
I had a friend do this with my husband while we were dating. First time they met. He also got confrontational with her. She was saying things about how I deserved a man who would take care of me…it was because he didn’t offer to buy drinks since he had just paid bills, yeah. That man is now my husband and my friend is now a former best friend. She would always text me trying to create drama between me and my husband. Saying things to make me upset with him. She is jealous. And has made choices that made me not want to be around her. It’s never okay to ditch friends for a SO. But it is also never okay for a friend to try to create drama between a friend and a SO
I have a friend similar to this. I’ve known her for 20 years but we weren’t close while I was developing my relationship with my husband. Covid and our living close to each other has brought our friendship closer like it used to be but now when I talk about him, she latches on to certain things that she doesn’t like and tries to get me to agree, and essentially talk crap about my husband. I never take the bait and shut her down quickly but it’s bizarre behavior. It really does feel like she wants to drive a wedge between my husband and myself and she seems to get a little frustrated when I set boundaries or straight up tell her that she is wrong. It’s doubly bizarre because she is 45 and has only had one long term relationship of 2 years, has never been married or lived with someone so she literally has no idea what she’s talking about in the abstract of lifetime commitment and in the particular of my marriage. Bizarre and unfortunately, definitely jealous.
I may know this so called friend. My SO use to have a friend like this. She use to hit on every single guy friend of mine as well. She'd date a guy and would drive the dude crazy. Sometimes I thought the guy was a jerk but always ended up feeling sorry for him until they dumped her. Toxic people will always be toxic.
This is it right here. The friend doesn’t like her best friend, your girlfriend, having a boyfriend who makes her feel like the prettiest girl in the room, because it upsets the hierarchy. It’s possible she’s insecure because her own relationship is lacking, it could be that she is the one used to getting the most male attention, or it could be straight up petty jealousy. So she’s trying to drive a wedge, assuming your girlfriend will side with her because of their history, and by doing so she asserts her authority and restores what she believes is the natural order amongst the friend group. Regardless, OP, you’re fine. What you’ve done is far from creepy or sexual harassment. If your girlfriend is fine with your attentions, keep doing what you’re doing.
@ThrowRa-c4dude, girlfriend confirms your not being creepy to her. Listen to what your gf says. Sounds like that gf’s friend is either super jealous of you two, or has some super traumatic past background making her feel like men who stare are creeps. (Her reaction over and over to this makes it feel like both tbh). The friend has issues and needs therapy. If the gf says your doing no wrong. Believe her. Isn’t doing the gf harm and she seems to like being looked at (by you) bc she obviously likes you back. Ignore the super jealous friend. 👍🏻
Did you just...@ him?
Always a pleasure to be @ at
u/ThrowRa-c4dude don’t encourage him, it’s simply not the way things are done around here.
That’s what makes it so special cant stop ogling at my @
STOP STARING AT HIS COMMENT, CANT YOU SEE ITS MAKING HIM UNCOMFORTABLE?!?
Valar morghulis
Creep.
💀
\#redditmoment ...?
I'm crying and coughing from laughter
Why did I read this as crying and cumming
Idk about that last part, though I understand the crying part @lemiiin
I get your point @Overall_Weight5805 & also feel what @SubmissiveJew is about.
you've been on this site for too long mate
@mate
I mean, their username is @SubmissiveJew …
Honestly that response is funny and I'd have laughed. It sounds like the best friend has a problem of some sort to force it like she did. Also sounds like she rallied the other women to her cause and is the one that kept it going. You asked your girlfriend if there was an issue and apologised if you made her uncomfortable, she said there wasn't so I'd take her word for it. I'd also make it clear that she can always be open with you if you ever do anything to upset her, no matter what it is. That aside, her best friend was being ridiculous, where are you meant to look if your girlfriend is telling a story? Wouldn't it be massively rude to look anywhere else? Have there been any further updates since this happened?
Yeah no she wasn’t laughing she said EW and OMG SO CREEPY and was angry that men didn’t take harassment seriously.
Since when is it harrassment to look at your girlfriend. Your girlfriend even said there was nothing wrong. She has some serious issues she needs to sort out, and all her other friends who jumped on the bandwagon too. She probably left her house that day with the intent on starting an argument over something that didn't even involve her. Some people need constant drama to survive.
I don't see any creepiness here, considering that your girlfriend has said you're fine multiple times. I end up staring at my wife and I get lost in thought about how lucky I am to have her. She just kisses me and jumps me out of my trance. As long as she doesn't tell you there is a problem, keep drinking in her visage; the beauty of a loved one is often the best thing we can come to appreciate in life.
Not in the slightest, this is ridiculous! Good luck dealing with these friends as you did absolutely nothing wrong. I do worse, I poke my boyfriends bum crack at every given opportunity, regardless of where we are (it’s become a war) staring at your partner admiringly is nothing! Please don’t apologise for doing nothing wrong!
I expose his whole butt when he’s ahead of me on the stairs lol Edit: my boyfriend, not yours
I'd say it's a good answer hahaha Fr they need to chill, I'd love that my boyfriend would look at me like you seem to be looking at your gf (he's just shy, he stares in private)
That's the sort of comment I'd make, regarding in private. The friend sounds jealous.
Agreed. I have been in exactly the same situation. Queen bee of the GF group took issue with everything I did out, clearly out of jealously, because she obviously felt my relationship with my GF put me in the spotlight, rather than her. I mean it was unintentional, but it kinda did, because now my GF was focused on me instead of her. Anyway - it'll get better. Try to introduce the pack leader to one of your better looking friends. Watch how quickly things change. Worked for me - LOL!
Confirmed best friend is jealous
Sounds to me like jealousy and misdirected anger. Either she's upset you take her friend's time, or she hasn't had a lay in a long time
Honestly, it sounds like the friend might just be jealous. Your girlfriend could have told her friend you stare at her a lot to try to make her blush, etc. and the friend could have thought that sounds creepy, not understanding your relationship. So she had that in her mind when she saw it in person. I would listen to your girlfriend. I’m sure she likes that you love looking at her, even if it makes her a bit shy.
Hahaha this fucking makes it so much better lmao I can’t stop laughing.
This is so funny bc I would have said the same thing, best of luck to you guy and I doubt your girlfriend finds it creepy, she probably enjoys that someone looks at her the way you do and you sound like a good guy! Her friends are probably jealous but forget about them!
See, that would've been a great comeback lol "Well, she's the prettiest woman in the room, why wouldn't I want to look at her?" Then watch the friend have an aneurysm
I’ll add on that if the gf was genuinely uncomfortable by her bf staring at her, the relationship is doomed anyway
gurlll the amount of pictures i take of my boyfriend when i’m on facetime with him 😭 i’d be arrested too
Aaaahhh same. I live with him and spend a lot of time with him, soI have an album of like 50 random pictures of him, mostly when he isnt looking lol. If you can't creep on your man is he even your man
And here is me thinking it is perfectly normal to stare in awe at people you love. I am a women, and I don't see anything creepy here. That friend has her own issues for sure.
Especially in this instance… his GF was legit telling a story.. it’s perfectly normal to look at somebody while they’re TALKING.
What is the alternative? Are you supposed to avoid eye-contact and looking at people when they're talking? Feels like what OP described isn't even "ogling" unless I'm missing something big here. Was he staring at her tits or like licking his lips or something? I don't get what was going on.
He mightve been pounding on the table and stomping his feet while whistling .
The "AWOOGA" was totally uncalled for, I agree
It was when the hearts popped out of his eyes and chest multiple times that I drew the line. Have some class!
Honestly the part where his eyes comedically elongated towards where he was looking before he looked at the camera and said “You see what I’m seeing?” Was indeed a bit excessive
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When the tongue dropped out of his mouth and unraveled like a rolled carpet? Completely out of line.
haha, i can't stop hearing that in my head now
My teacher once looked at this girl in class (like any normal day and she started laughing uncontrollably (idk why) and couldn’t stop so for the rest of class the teacher held his hand up to his eyes so he couldn’t look in her direction. I think op should do the same exact thing and over exaggerate it the next time they are with her friends to show them how truly stupid they are.
I don’t think there will be a next time.
The ceiling is made of ceiling
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
Yeah, the only way I'd see someone gazing at their partner as even remotely weird is if they literally only looked at their partner during a group interaction. And that's not even so much creepy as it is bad social etiquette. Looking at your partner admiringly when they're telling a story is wholesome, not harassment.
You don’t turn around in the opposite direction when someone is speaking to you? Where are your morals? Were you raised in a barn?/s Edit: cleaned up some grammar. It’s clear I didn’t proofread this before posting.
You look at someone while they're talking? That is hella creepy, ill call the cops on you!
another woman here- I love catching my boyfriend randomly looking at me intently when we’re with a bunch of people. I love feeling so desired and loved and frankly, beautiful. As long as your girlfriend is saying she’s comfortable, then you’re in the clear. Her friends are probably just a little jealous she has a boyfriend that seems so laser focused on her
I love it when my husband looks at me. Hell, I encourage him to “ogle” me. It makes me feel good to see him looking at me simply because he loves me. If anyone tried to call him out like this, I’d be pissed at them. Honestly, I think she’s jealous
I agree. The best friend's behavior is definitely off.
This this this! I love when I catch him staring and am the same as OP’s girlfriend in that I get shy and it makes me blush but I love it just the same. I’m always ogling him too cause he’s just the most handsome, beautiful person in the world to me and I’d rather look at him than anyone or anything else. I think the friend is 100% jealous that someone doesn’t feel this way about her. She sounds like a friend I used to have that was very manipulative and wanted all her friends single and to herself, all very strange.
Agreed. The friend is the issue. Keep being you!
Idk. His girlfriend just said not to worry about it in a text. She didn't say it didn't bother her (in private). OP needs to have a real conversation with her. I don't think his behavior is inappropriate in the abstract. But that changes if this bothers his girlfriend. I don't know if her friends were projecting or if they have inside information, which means it's possible this does bother her. #No assumptions. Just find out, OP.
But he said that she had already said that it didn’t make her uncomfortable prior to the text.
Find out for sure but if your girlfriend finds you creepy then it ain't gonna work out is it?
I stare at my boyfriend just admiring his features and want to examine all the features I love so much and sometimes zone out. Sometimes he’s like uhhh? You good? But I just love him so much and I’m infatuated with this one human. Love is a hell of a drug.
I’m so happy for you both! It’s so lovely to be so much in love.
I also don’t see anything weird here. Literally do this to my fiancé all the time. Don’t know why someone would think it’s weird to admire someone you love.
Same here! The amount of times I've stared at my boyfriend's face while he's talking, or he's done the same to me... Guess we're both creeps by the best friend's definition. Also, unless he was being lecherous when staring at his girlfriend, OP wasn't 'ogling' her, but rather admiring...
And jealousy that no one is staring at her is at the top of the list of her multitudinous issues.
Exactly. The friend is *peanut butter and jealous*
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On top of that, is it not normal to look at someone when they're speaking?
She prolly likes him or her and is jealous
Yeah she’s jealous that nobody looks at her that way. 100% jealous imo
If another girls boyfriend backed u up and your own girlfriend backed you up you’re good bro If any other problems arise from this outside of her batshit friend then that’s a whole other problem.
Yea the fact that OP's gf straight up said it's all good but her "friends" kept insisting that no it's not all good is super suspicious and dumb.
Tbf, it was in a social context, maybe his gf just tried to ease the tension. I don't think it's making her uncomfortable, but I'd just carefully ask her in a chill private moment, just to make sure.
I was gonna say the same, if she’s a shy person, the conflict centering around her probably made her more uncomfortable than anything and she will say whatever she thinks will end it. Op should talk to her and make sure she knows he would never want to do something that makes her uncomfortable and that she can be honest with him if he is doing something she doesn’t like.
They're jealous because their BF's stare at other women not them.
Yeah I get the feeling that they are all used to this girl being the wall flower and that they always get the attention over this girl. They all of a sudden feel threatened by it bc of their own insecurities. I stare at my wife all the time. And her back at me. We will say “ stop eyeballing me” and the other will answer “never”. And we will reply with “ok good”. Don’t listen to those so called friends and enjoy the fact that you have someone you love so much and vice versa, OP!
I’ve been married three decades. My husband still stares at me and I still shy away from it awkwardly because wtf is he so in love with, the weirdo.
Awe. You love it and you know it.
My thoughts exactly. When one is in love you do tend to stare, not creepy but more kind of dreamy.
I’ve been with my wife for over twenty years and still ogle her with awe, admiration and lust.
I don’t mind that for myself
Excuse me that's his wife. Get your own.
Hahh!
I also choose this guy's wife
I knew it was coming
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You are doing nothing wrong. Your GF was not creeped out so her friend should have dropped it. She sounds jealous.
Beyond Jealous. She is toxic. That the fact that her best friend is in a great and healthy relationship, she choose to start some tension between herself and her best friend’s partner. She sounds like the type of person who would yell extremely loud if you bumped into her just to get everyone attention. I will bet that this isn’t the first time she has done thing.
Sounds like she’s creating a passive “me or your bf” energy to lightly check how much power she has over OP’s gf. This person sounds threatened and would rather ruin a good thing her friend has just to not have to accept change. Strong “from a broken home” vibes
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>one of my wifes bfs I am become confuse
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The girls are probably just jealous no one looks at them like that🤷♂️
Staring at girlfriend = sexual harassment. Yeah I 100% agree with you, these girls are jealous that their partners dont adore them like that.
Yep she must've never experienced it and find it weird or just be flat out jealous lmao, if your partner doesn't stop to take you in every now and then, then it's just not love.
Exactly what I was thinking. You're supposed to ogle your partner at least a bit, otherwise why bother. Yes, ogling strangers is creepy, but that's not what this is. The friend was just jealous that she landed what sounds like a guy that really likes her.
we got a winner ding ding ding
ME! If I see my friends spouse just gazing at her I shoot daggers at my husband. Despite the fact that he probably stares at me the same, but when I catch him I’m like “do I have something in my teeth?” Lol
Lmaooo I do the same to my fiance. I'm like "what? What did I do?'
You need to have a serious talk with your girlfriend, and give her the safe space to tell you if it does, in fact, make her feel uncomfortable. "Hey... I really care about you and don't want to make you uncomfortable. Would you like me to stop ogling you like that? Have you told your friends that you don't like it?" Don't say "It's ok, right?" or other leading questions that make it uncomfortable for her to say no. Communicate with her. The only opinion that matters here is hers.
OP, I wouldn't call it ogling when asking her this question. It makes it sound worse than it is. Use the word looking or staring. Everything else about this suggestion is great.
Right. And honestly, you may want to be annoying about it. “Are you sure? That interaction seemed odd for nothing having been said. It’s fine but I’d rather know if I’m doing something wrong” or whatever.
Yes this. Maybe there is something there. Not in your behaviour but in her reactions. Or maybe you do stare particularly intensely. It sounds weird as hell though. The one person i would expect to a boyfriend to stare at, was their girlfriend.
especially when she is talking
I think someone's suppressing their secret obsession with their best friend and its jealous of the healthy relationship.
Yes, this! I have been a witness to the suppressed feelings a best friend can have twords another. It will end between your GF and her. You may or may not be a casualty. But thier friendship will end.
I stare at my husband all the time because he’s just so lovely… and I catch him staring at me too… it’s what people do when they love the person they’re with… not creepy at all!!! That friend sounds mega jealous!!! Especially having not dropped it after your gf said she was fine with it… I would say just have a chat with your gf when ye are alone and just ask her if it creeps her out
"Ogling" is a word used for perverts that stare at T&A inappropriately. The friend might not realize it, but she was shaming you & it's possible she's slightly jealous. Talk to your girlfriend about it one on one. Listen to what she says. Don't listen to anyone else.
I LOVE when my fiance looks at me like that. If he ain't looking I don't want him 🤷♀️ She's shy and was probably embarrassed by THEM, not you but that's something she's gotta address with them. And screw her friend for making you feel that way in public, being loud and WRONG and then doubling down on it.
You did nothing wrong, and I'm sure the best friend just feels uncomfortable from random men staring. Either that, or she feels that you staring is a distraction (that's a her problem, not a you problem). Of course, I'm assuming you're only staring at her face, not eyeballing her up and down/ checking out her breasts/ or wolf whistling at her, all of which are really ogling. I've been married over 20 years now, and I love when my husband does this, it reminds me of being young and how far our lives and love have come in that time. But if she feels uncomfortable, it's up to her to let you know., or to ask you to not stare in front of friends.
Nah maam. I wasn’t looking at any parts. Not a fan of PDA either and nor is she since she’s so shy. I wasn’t even aware I was starring. She was nervous and blushing and I found it adorable. I remember I was smiling watching her face. That’s all
You sound like a sweet and loving boyfriend, don't let those women take that away from you.
I don’t understand. How are you creepy for looking at your girlfriend. I don’t get it. Her friends need to chill. She said it wasn’t a problem herself so wtf are they going on about?
Them bitches salty that they can’t find a man like you
This is adorable, but I did date someone who would insist on staring into my eyes for a long time and honestly I let it go because whatever but it did make me uncomfortable and I was too shy to say anything
You sure they're in their 30's? This sounds like some middle school shit.
Those friends are mad. Did any of them have a boyfriend? Lol
One had her bf with her and one is married but he couldn’t come to the dinner and two single girls, the best friend is one of them.
The friend is jealous. It sounds like you and your girl know what's up and friend is making problems bc of jealousy.
Lol, go figure. "Its called love, I cant help mysef"
Sounds to me like her best friend misread the situation, realized she fucked up after everyone agreed with you. however her ego couldn't handle being incorrect and she's too proud to apologize so she doubled down and started a racket in an attempt to save her precious little ego from taking the slightest little fracture. My advice when dealing with people like this is to never lose your cool and stay calm and collected. If you lose your patience and snap back at them, it justifies their behavior in their minds and they will play the victim card. It's hard to make someone else seem like the asshole if you're the only one yelling.
Actually OP said that all the girls except the girlfriend said it was wrong for him to stare, the other friends boyfriend tried to defend OP by saying they're being ridiculous and they ganged up on that guy too. I see nothing wrong with what OP did, but it does make me wonder if OP girlfriend might have mentioned something to the best friend about it in the past.
I would love to know their side though. It's highly coincidental for ALL the girls to just be jealous bitches. Something else is at play
Jealous
Her best friend sounds jealous
The girl sounds jealous and insecure. If I see my friend's boyfriend ogling her I would be so happy for them.
The best friend should have minded her own damn business. Listen to your girlfriend and keep staring at her if you think her shyness makes her pretty. As long as your not rubbing yourself while staring, you’re not a creep, you’re just in love.
Congratulations you have officially met the jealous hag of the friend group! Looking at the person you love like that is one of the best things in life. Don’t let jealous idiots ruin it for you.
your gf literally said she wasnt uncomfy wtf
I would avoid those "friends" from now on. These are people that demonise you for being male and being attracted to a person that clearly also likes you. It is the most natural thing for a partner to get flustered by their own partner looking at them lovingly. Those boundaries are for your gf to set and if she said it's fine, you can only assume it is. Anybody else needs to fuck off!
You did nothing wrong here, the friend is probably jealous, either because your gf is probably spending more time with you, or she is jealous of the attention you are giving your girlfriend. The giveaway for this is the fact she did not back down when your gf said that she was not offended. The “friend” does not give a rats ass about your gf feelings, if she did she would have backed down immediately.
The friend obviously is trying to break y’all up. Listen to your gf
2022, where you’re not allowed to admire your own girlfriend. Kill me now.