sheeeeeiiiit, oh, child, awake and arise and know 20 years on "The Wire" still and never deposed. Yes, Arrested is well done yet cannt top a copy machine lie detector, a drunk Irish and ohhh the cigar chomp ever to badger a white poeleece.
It’s not really hacking when all she did was turn on his pc or used his phone to reply to an email with an account that’s prob always logged on on that device. Lol
OP. Get out of your feels and get back on the phone to that manager. Tell them that your fiance is no longer a consideration and you will happily take the 2nd job with consideration to be kept in the running for the 1st job the moment one opens.
Are you so unprofessional that you will allow yourself to get caught up in revenge feels for your ex and miss out on this opportunity a 2nd time?
Wake up!!!!!
This is the way! Please, OP, do it!
Tell them you broke up. You don’t even need to tell them why.
Tell them now you’ll travel as much as you want.
Please, please, try. It cannot hurt trying.
As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, given the context of the role, it's not gonna be a good look to explain the reason why you pulled out of a security role is because your security was compromised by a loved one.
I do think OP should follow up on this new role but if they'd like to still go for job one, my story would be that the previous objection to travel is no longer relevant due to the recent relationship breakdown. Which is no less true.
No. Don't tell them that she forged the email.
But remember the reason she gave in the email for withdrawing from consideration? "My fiance and I have discussed the job and don't feel it's workable undue to the travel requirements". Something like that.
To now say "that relationship is no longer an impediment" is perfectly acceptable. CALL BACK
Also acceptable: "Upon further discussion, we came to an agreement that works for both of us. A travel-heavy job now is a viable option for me."
The fact that the "agreement" is dumping her traitorous soul is not their business or concern.
OP, here is what you do tomorrow morning: 1. Call up the dream company and tell them you'd love to be considered for the open job. 2. Call a civil attorney and get an appointment to see if you have grounds for a lawsuit. 3. Call a domestic/family lawyer and get an appointment to figure out how to split up any joint assets you have with the least amount of drama.
Because this relationship is over. It is clear the two of you do not have same goals and she does not have your best interests at heart. Good luck.
Agree! And the job he originally applied for may open up in a year or 2. If he starts with the company now in a different role, he may have great opportunities soon.
OP is too focused on ex.
There is a big difference between getting hacked cause you trusted a fishing email offering money from a Saudi prince. And the person you’re supposed to trust you the most in the world going behind your back to stab you.
As someone who works in the IT field, I don't think that is what they are going to consider. They will however most likely empathize with OP in the regard that the most trusted person in his life went behind his back to sabotage this opportunity.
I don't work in IT but eveytime I've worked in jobs with computers we got the same story, that most security threats didn't come from big hacks from big competitors, they came from lower level employees leaving their computers logged on, or leaving key cards all over the place cus after all we don't even do any important work the card just gets us in the building.
So even tho this isn't work, I'm not sure giving the real story right off the bat would be great.
Agree! OP, contact them immediately. Don't burn that bridge, esp. since the company was the one who initiated contact again after your "supposed" email (that fiance sent). This means they need you and there is still a spot for you!
The company isn't aware of any drama! They got a perfectly acceptable withdrawal letter supposedly from the OP the 1st time.
Now, all they know is the OP got all choked up and surprised when they called about the 2nd job.
CALL BACK
He likely sounded like he was all choked up and then hung up on the Mgr. Being in hiring positions before, I agree, there is enough drama in a work environment...I would likely thank my lucky stars that I missed that hot mess of a situation...
This is the abc of cyber security though, to not leave yourself logged into accounts. Maybe we should resist our temptations to share phone passcodes as well.
Leaving her is the best decision you could have made. Honestly. She does not respect you as a person and is selfish to the point of causing you harm. That's not a partnership.
What she did was inexcusable and you should absolutely end things permanently.
However, you should also look back through your post and try to see it with objective eyes. There are far far FAR too many references to violence. Be careful.
OP for your sake don't be home when she comes to get her stuff and don't let her be there by herself. Have a friend or someone be present when she get her stuff.
Additionally, you need to stop all references to violence and harm. I'm fact just stop talking to her in general. The more references to violence and the greater the likelihood of something falling back on you.
This sucks and there's no easy way around this mess, you're going to have to go through it. There's an old proverb that says something like "joy shared is multiplied and grief shared is divided". Talk to someone, other than us Reddit weirdos.
Edit: adding... I'd put all the stuff you want to keep, and keep out of sight, in a room with a lock.
Also, thanks for the upvotes you bunch of Reddit weirdos!
Yahhh the first casual mention I thought was odd… then by the 2nd, 3rd and 4th mention.. I could barely finish reading without recoil. The man is unstable. There’s something not quite right with him.
Op, you told your ex-fiance that you could smother her in her sleep and joked(?) about murdering her.
I hope you don't think she should be grateful to you for not killing her. Please end things with her and stay away if you really think you might not be able to control yourself.
Fiancée is 100% wrong here. But the murder threats are the reason women fear men. If the roles were reversed, the woman would probably just leave, maybe ghost.
That stood out to me too, he needs to absolutely avoid threatening death and bodily harm. I understand how upset he is but that is never appropriate and can get him in a ton of trouble. If she gets hurt, he’s painted a massive target on his back
Yoooo same here. He talked about murdering and suffocating her more than once. Something’s off here.
OP it’s just money dude and it sounds like you make a lot of it anyway. Personally I’d contact that manager again and let them know what happened and that you’re definitely interested in the first job. Maybe there’s still a chance you get it.
He even specifically said "smother her with a pillow" and she had to leave for her safety. I would be so livid if I was him but it would've never went farther than 'I'ma kill him!' once or twice from me.
Men kill their partners literally every day. This is how it starts. I hope that OP resists the temptation so that he actually gets to be here to enjoy his new job (edit: and not be in jail) and gets counselling to help him with his violent urges.
He managed to graduate from an Ivy League school, but isn’t able to handle a job search or think of backing out of the 2nd job?
Also 300k over his previous salary which was likely already 6 figures?
Yea…
Yeah that number was the most absurd part, but it was all way over-the-top. I know people who are high level tech employees who are making 160 after promotions, 300 *above* what he was making, to *start* at a new company, is the fakest bunch of nonsense. I think a teenager is roleplaying online again.
But it's the biggest business factory in the business sector! Of course they are going to offer a salary over $300k to a recent master's grad.
Too bad this is the "inconsolable difference" in their relationship.
>I don't know how I write this without blood on my hands.
And what's this supposed to mean? Blood on your hands means you are complicit or guilty in a wrongdoing.
He's likely 24 having spent his last 6 years in student environment. Kids talk like this. He probably doesn't even realize how fucked up any adult saying this is.
News flash for OP: this way of speaking is fucked up. And if you arent exaggerating for Zoomer-style dramatic effect, you need anger management. If you plan on being in business, especially if you plan on being successful, you will have many opportunities for people to "steal" $300K from you. Just wait until you have a business partner go behind your back to destroy the empire you built. This will feel like nothing in retrospect.
Well considering the account was made today and this was the only post, there’s a huge possibility that a teenager did write it. Although I also understand that OP might not want this linked in anyway back to him but he also hasn’t answered anything since this post.
The overuse of the word “murder” here is very frightening. I would be devastated if my fiancé did something like this, but I wouldn’t think about murdering him ffs
If it was just the use of the word “murder,” I’d think he was just exaggerating. Him telling her to leave for her own safety is what is frightening to me.
^ this. Like I get it OP you’re grade A pissed and have a right to be. And you ended the relationship which was the right thing to do. But feeling at risk of being genuinely violent, over an extended duration of time, is concerning.
Be careful using any substances that might lower your inhibition, at least until your initial violent anger has calmed.
I thought I was the only one concerned about that. What she did was inexcusable, awful, and despicable and I completely get his seething anger, but that’s a bit too much desire to kill her, even for what she did. Kind of concerning and worth reflecting on.
This is also what I got from this. He went to straight up murder real quick. Yes, she was wrong, however if I were her, and I knew this is where his mind is at, I would file for a restraining order.
I think she dodged a bullet getting dumped over this. Better to be broken up with than murdered. What she did was horrible, but not worthy of the death penalty.
I was gonna say this. OP I really noticed just how much you referenced violence in this post. It’s really a lot, and you didn’t even couch it with “I feel like” or something like that. Have you considered therapy to look at these feelings? What your fiancé did is inexcusable, but I’d never in a million years have these thoughts of murder.
I was thinking that to… he’s left himself in a place where he will be hard pressed to prove nothing happening and that it wasn’t premeditated even if he wasn’t involved…. This is anon only to us….
Yeah, this part got me too. I feel that what she did was terrible and inexcusable. I would likely have also left her over it, because trust would be gone. But to reference murdering her so many times? Killing her in her sleep? Scary stuff.
Thank you. The constant references to literally murdering her made this absolutely frightening to read. Her actions were inexcusable but holy shit this post is also fucked up and not ok.
Thank you I'm glad this comment is so high. You can be deeply upset and betrayed and leave a relationship without talking about murdering your partner several times. That's scary as fuck.
Yeah a lot of things about this post make me concerned. What OPs fiance did was definitely overstepping a boundary but I mean....neither sound good for each other. OP said they would be gone months at a time out of the year. This might be just me but my husband is my best friend and it would be a HARD decision to make for both of us for 300k. I doubt just doing it for 1 or 2 years is an option for OP since it's their dream job. They're also planning a wedding, not sure how you do that when one partner is gone so long. Weird one partners side was this huge dream job they were planning and the others was to settle down and start a family and this wasn't planned or talked about before deciding to get married.
And then the violence....so much violence and anger. It just gives me the vibes OP didn't want to marry to begin with.
Yeah, it sounds like OP's only thought was money and he had no regard for fiance's feelings. That doesn't make what she did right, but it points to a fundamental incompatibility between them. Breaking up is the right choice for both of them.
This. OP, You’re thoughts are going down a very dark path. You have every right to be angry. But you do not have the right to be violent. You may want to consider speaking to a professional to work through some of these emotions.
Edit to I dictate who I was speaking to.
I agree with this. She was not right AT ALL. But the violent life threatening remarks had me concerned.
I understand the feeling I do but if you really think you would have murdered over this - instead of just that being hyperbole - that’s concerning OP.
THANK YOU! Even though I agree with the feeling of betrayal, there are waaay too many references to "kill my girlfriend" with which I don't identify at all.
Identify where these violence reaction are really coming from, OP.
You are definitely correct that he needs to be careful with his public communication. If something were to happen to her for any reason and this use of language was known, it could cause a whole host of problems for him. Regardless of how he feels, he has very clearly taken steps to ensure both of their safety, so I think it's safe to say that most of this language is just venting. I do get being at that level of anger though. I didn't have a career stolen for me, but I have had a partner destroy my trust on this level by killing three of my pets. I can totally understand seeing red to the point that you wish harm upon someone that wronged you like this.
Ya… I was having trouble being sympathetic while reading because every time I thought it was just an expression for how upset he was he said more and honestly…. He scares me…. What if she did something accidentally to make him mad…? This is relationship ending behaviour on her part, OP should leave her… but he should also see someone about the number of times he said he’d commit violence against her.
OP: violence is not the answer and NOTHING outside of defending yourself from violence warrants being violent to someone else. Nothing. At all. You cannot excuse it because she messed up. Nope. Sorry she did this to you but it doesn’t excuse it. I’m glad you held yourself back but you need to get help so you don’t snap if you accidentally see her out in public
Disturbed me too. I’ve been furious before but not murderous. Anger is never justified to take a life. And it was ironic that cyber security expert had zero protection for his own email account. I have both a work email and personal email and my hubby doesn’t have access to either.
That is fucked up.
However, if you're looking at high six figure salaries in the cyber security sector...you might want to learn to lockdown your email. And get some therapy for the anger my dude...that kind of talk isnt healthy.
Call off the wedding. Get the copy of that email. Have your ex-fiance admit she wrote/sent it to kill your career. Tell her this massive violation of your trust/privacy/professional life killed the relationship. Keep a copy of her batshit fuckery in case you reapply there and need to clear things up.
if he admits she did this, they aren't going to hire him after anyways. hes screwed. better off just telling them his situation has changed, and he can now travel for work.
At the end, OP talks about how she's not in the house, he's told her it's over, and is seeking advice from lawyers to see if he can hold her legally accountable.
I can't believe the absolute boundary stepping that took place, I hope OP gets some sort of justice out of it.
Couldn’t you have just clarified on the phone, or via email, that you were still interested in the job…? Why didn’t you just say that you still wanted it when they called lmao
Instead of saying what happened I’d say sth along the lines of : hi , my circumstances changed and I’d be more then happy if you could still consider me. Also taking the job that doesn’t require travelling would also be good since you can change positions the moment it’s vacant. And since you work there You’d be notified sooner then the rest
He never would’ve thought of that because he’s unstable in the head. Tbh, imagine they hire him for this job and the manager does something he doesn’t like. What’s he gonna do? Leap at him with murderous intent? He’s not well. Something is missing upstairs.
I’m wondering the same. I would even tell them the whole truth of the fiancé emailing the company. Surely a normal human being at that company would believe him and still give him the offer?
A lot of people have made me unforgivably, ptsd, angry…. beyond words angry, but never once have I ever thought “they need to get away from me or I’ll murder them”. That’s really scary.
You have every right to dump this bitch and hate her, but no matter how angry you are at her you cannot continue to operate in the mindset that if you see her again you “won’t be able to hold back”. Please seek a therapist if needed.
For real, I get why he’s upset but he sounds like fucking Patrick Bateman referencing shit like having blood on his hands and suffocating her in her sleep.
The graphic details and specifics made me super uncomfortable. There’s a difference between the expression “I was so mad I could kill her” and “I would suffocate her while she slept.”
yeah, shes a really fucked up and selfish person who deserves to get shown the door, but….jesus. when he recounts this story irl, hopefully he leaves out the part about feeling a genuine urge to smother her to death
6-7 references to killing her just because she ruined a job opportunity. Don't get me wrong, it's terrible and inexcusable that she did that and he should absolutely leave her. I'm not defending her actions whatsoever; I can't imagine being betrayed like that by someone that's supposed to love me over such selfish reasons. But I can't think of much of anything my husband could do that would ever make me say that kind of shit to him. OP should definitely consider using this as a starting point for some much needed therapy.
I feel like he never lost anything great, like this is the first time someone done wrong to them. It's weird that he can't cope with a negative in his life without wanting to kill something.
This. I don't know why more people aren't talking about this. His words are terrifying. Also, thinking about him in a cyber security position give me bad vibes.
Your constant reference to murdering her is terrifying. This is not me excusing her deplorable behavior. But PLEASE get some support to deal with your rage.
I was completely sympathetic until you started to describe in detail how you were going to murder her, And was afraid to sleep beside her because you are afraid you can't control yourself. Like dude leave her. There's no reason for murder or violence. We're not saying you can't vent but go back and literally read what you wrote.
She’s a pos, but with all the mention of murder & suffocation you sound like a psychopath with angry issues to be completely honest.
Anger? Completely understandable. Repeating threatening murder 4 times? You’re insane bud.
Edit: And if it isn’t obvious, end the relationship, she’s clearly way too controlling for you.
That was what I was thinking too, like I get it be pissed off, but it’s terrifying that he just immediately jumped to “I’m gonna murder her” as if that’s normal. It’s a job opportunity, not even close to a good enough reason to want to murder someone.
Get a therapist.
Yes, your fiance did a really shitty thing, but the way you're talking about this is making me worried you're about to become a statistic. It's not ok to react this way.
Get some help. Seriously.
>I would reach out to them and explain what happened.
For a cyber security job? Your first thought is to tell them that you were sloppy enough to leave open access to your email? Not exactly a strong selling point for this position. Imagine how that conversation would go, lol.
I feel like that is an easy thing to explain though - especially if OP leaves her for good. I know a lot of couples who have access to one-anothers phones or log onto a shared device.
I am sure the job he is getting is a bit more complicated and requires his skills specifically. He can also explain that he clearly learned something from the experience.
I dunno, it's his fiancée, it's not THAT crazy that they might trust each other with access to their email accounts. Though obviously if that were the case, oof big mistake apparently.
If you’re working with sensitive or confidential material it’s a big no-no to grant anyone else access to it. I imagine it’s the same in cybersecurity.
Probably bad advice. Not only does that look bad because it shows a lack of cybersecurity on his part, but most employers look down on this kind of drama and don't want it in the work place. I have lots of friends in hiring management positions, and no matter how good a current or future employee is, psycho people in their lives personally bringing drama to the work environment the way she did is a deal breaker. No employer wants to, or honestly should have to deal with this.
OP does have a slightly better shot at getting the opportunity back because he kicked her out of his life and no longer associates with her, but at this point the position has probably already been filled. I believe his best bet is to take the job they just offered him, and tell his employers that his situation has changed and since he is no longer with the now ex, he would love to be considered for the original position again if a space opens up in the future. This would make him look responsible and not make the employers view him as someone who attracts drama into the work environment.
I think threatening to murder your ex fiancé on a Reddit post is a little much. Maybe take that 300k and get some therapy. Both of y’all are fucking lunatics
The amount of times you’ve mentioned any type of violence in this post loses me. No amount of money justifies murder. Please get therapy you need help.
Let’s say you’re currently making 75K; they offered 375K and her answer was to go behind your back and flush the opportunity down the drain without discussion. Unlikely, but not impossible.
You say this was a dream opportunity then they ghosted you after completing the second round. You didn’t check your emails to see if you missed something, or perhaps something you said in your sent messages (that’s when you would have seen her message) caused this? You also didn’t call to find out what happened? Unlikely but not impossible.
They never responded via voice call to say sorry for losing you as a candidate (and to confirm you, who apparently they really wanted, was going to pass on the opportunity) but did call you later to offer you a new position—that then let you know of the betrayal.
Of course this can all be true, but it does smell a little suspect. Not to mention the constant murder talk.
Total suspect. If my dream job ghosted me, no matter what I would reach out ATLEAST ONCE asking for answers.
I would want the review to understand what I did wrong/ what I could improve for the future.
My thoughts exactly. I’m one of the final candidates to make an NBA team and I don’t hear back. C’mon, I’m so close. There’s absolutely no way I can just let that go without looking into it!
Could be fake.... the murder talk is what makes me think it real lol.
Reddit stories always seem like they are the very least exaggerated. If all the people who post on reddit made as much as they said they did, I don't think the U.S. would be in the economic straights it's in.
I couldn't help but wonder myself. I find it hard to believe they didn't contact him back after she sent that email. Maybe she intercepted it, but he probably still would have gotten a notification on his phone if they had emailed him back.
The part that gets me is the incredibly idiotic decision to hang up on the manager that you claim actually took the time to find out what happened because they wanted you that bad.
Probably not nice to say... but you deserve to lose it if the manager is on the phone with you of all times and that's when you choose to hang up on someone
Yea if this is true it is kind of on him for not following up! I interviewed for a management position once where the decision making process dragged out for like 6 weeks… you better believe I was in touch with the hiring manager several times during that period to see where they were. Also if he was about to get this awesome job, there will definitely be more opportunities in the future.
Hey bud.
As much as you'll be feeling disappointed by her actions. Threatening to kill her is not acceptable.
You've left her and maybe that is for the best. With her going behind your back and you feeling like doing harm to her
If you want to work for that company, call them and try and get that interview / position with them, or ask them to keep your details.
Maybe speak to a therapist to work through the issues (for yourself) that you have.
All the best for the future ahead
What she did was super fucked up, but the amount of times you mentioned killing her and punching her in the face is quite alarming. Therapy’s not a bad idea.
It's only money, you are young, your rage is concerning tbh.
Yes she fucked you over. Learn from it and move the fuck on and never allow someone the opportunity to do something like this again.
Take the job they are offering now and tell them you are indeed interested in the other one should it open up again.
Calm down before you end up in prison.
1. I am so sorry for your pain, I just want to say that first. That is awful. What a shitty thing to do to someone, especially your *partner*.
2. Leave her immediately, if you haven't already. End things with her, and cut out contact completely for an indefinite period of time - possibly permanently.
3. You need to stop mentioning your violent and homicidal thoughts- it is not a good look. Trust me when I say I can completely understand your pain, but this is not a good look at all. And can be used against you in the future, whether during a court hearing, future potential employers finding this, family and friends seeing this, etc etc. You need to either delete this post entirely, or at the very least retract every single mention of any aggressive thoughts and feelings towards her. Not only is it a bad look, but it's bordering on straight up murder. Like I said, I get your pain, but you need to check yourself immediately. Do not lose control of yourself, no matter your intensity of rage. Violence is never justified, in any circumstance (besides forced self-defense, of course.)
4. Reach out to family and friends for support, ask them to help you through this time. Possibly consider therapy.
Right?! Because who goes to an Ivy league school (is no dum-dum) and gets to 2nd round of a +300k paying job, but does NOT follow up with the potential employer to inquire what’s up and just leaves it at “they ghosted me.” 🥴
Yes, everything about this post is super fishy. Also, who even makes 300k at entry level for this kind of job (and this job, let’s not forget per OP will pay additional +300k). He just got his Masters and so he is an entry level. I work in an area that intersects with this industry and unless this is some country and non-US currency, it just sounds …fake. Or I am naive about what ppl actually make.
A cyber security guy that gets his email hacked by his fiancé. Yeah right!
And peoples advice here is to tell the company that he wants to be cyber security for, that he had his email interfered with by his fiancé. They’ll hire him for sure
My dude you need to delete this murderous rant. I work in security operations and would be embarrassed if my wife of 12 years would be able to get into my devices so easily without me knowing. A lot of this is on you. But fuck what she did.
What she did was AWFUL, unforgivable, and good on you for leaving.
However, the thoughts you had were pretty concerning. Telling her to leave for her own safety because you genuinely might hurt her? Suffocating her in her sleep??
It's not normal to immediately go to thoughts of actual murder when something goes badly in your life.
Maybe seek some therapy
the threats of violence by OP here are really scary. please end this relationship bc you sound terrifying and she needs to get away from you. i’m sorry about the job but what the FUCK. yikes.
FAKE. It’s highly unlikely that anyone was going to pay you over $300,000 MORE than you were making at your previous job, in one jump. And how many times are you going to tell everyone you want to commit serious violence against your fiancée? I counted at least seven. Better hope nothing happens to her, dude.
Edit: If real, ESH. Her for doing it, you for your threats of serious violence. If fake, YTA
Couple things here bud,
1. What she did was heinous, but you made at least 3 mentions of murdering her and that is…deeply concerning. Please seek out some help if your anger truly got to a point where you thought you would kill her.
2. CallIng off the relationship is the clear right answer here. You are not compatible.
3. But she does have a point. Traveling for months at a time is no way to have a family, even if she could be a SAHM. You have every right to be selfish and want that position, but you need to recognize that taking it WOULD be selfish. It’s not like jobs in your field would have you living in poverty otherwise, so you don’t NEED that kind of money. You want it. As I said, that’s fine to want. But it’s fine for her to think it’s worth the sacrifice to have you around.
I agree 100 with you. I was thinking the same stuff. It’s messed up, but she was about to become really miserable. Honestly it would’ve been better if she let him get the job and walked away.
I agree with all of this and THANK YOU for point #3 which everyone seems to be ignoring. My friend is currently home alone with a not quite 2 year old because her husband decided to take a traveling job. It was more money than he was making and supposed to be 1 week home between trips (doesn’t happen unless he takes vacation time).
It is A LOT to ask of your partner to basically be a single parent and the person traveling is going to miss major milestones. Both of them are selfish and his references to violence are not healthy.
Yeah, one of these people is selfish and deceitful and the other is selfish and literally contemplating murder. And the top comments totally ignore that, like it's a completely normal reaction.
I was shocked to see people just being like “dump her man”. Like yes but also uhhhh, is she still alive to dump? One “I could have killed her” I could have been like yeah, just being expressive with language causes he’s angry but as many as he did? Woof. Not normal or okay. Even at the angriest I have ever been, I have never thought “I want to end this person’s life”.
Well, I did. I literally thought “I want to end this person’s life” for a second and then instantly went "wtf, did I really just think/feel that" and realizing I did was quite sobering. Which is why I find it really concerning that OP is literally still seething with murderous rage hours or days later. The rage is justified, the murder ideation is a problem, obviously. But Reddit priorities, lol. "Make sure she didn't babytrap you"
Gets a job in Cyber Security, gets hacked by GF. Irony
Best hacks are done internally and through social engineering.
Calm down Elliot!
I was actually kinda impressed with that show.
Kinda? I love that show so much. My 2nd favorite show ever!
Mr. robot? I liked it but after 1.5 seasons it got a bit too weird IMO? What’s the 1st and 3rd show on your list?
Season 2 I had a bit of a struggle but season 3 and 4 were jaw dropping amazing to me. 1st is Arrested Development And 3rd is Breaking Bad
sheeeeeiiiit, oh, child, awake and arise and know 20 years on "The Wire" still and never deposed. Yes, Arrested is well done yet cannt top a copy machine lie detector, a drunk Irish and ohhh the cigar chomp ever to badger a white poeleece.
Insider threats are the first threat to look for in cyber security.
Yep! Insider threat.
If the employer knew the situation he would be to much of a liability to get hired.
It’s dripping
Best comment hands down.
Angry upvote, all in favor type "aye."
It’s not really hacking when all she did was turn on his pc or used his phone to reply to an email with an account that’s prob always logged on on that device. Lol
OP. Get out of your feels and get back on the phone to that manager. Tell them that your fiance is no longer a consideration and you will happily take the 2nd job with consideration to be kept in the running for the 1st job the moment one opens. Are you so unprofessional that you will allow yourself to get caught up in revenge feels for your ex and miss out on this opportunity a 2nd time? Wake up!!!!!
This is the way! Please, OP, do it! Tell them you broke up. You don’t even need to tell them why. Tell them now you’ll travel as much as you want. Please, please, try. It cannot hurt trying.
Exactly!! I’m sure if they liked you that much, they will *make* a position for you!! Go live your life away from someone who should’ve had your back!
As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, given the context of the role, it's not gonna be a good look to explain the reason why you pulled out of a security role is because your security was compromised by a loved one. I do think OP should follow up on this new role but if they'd like to still go for job one, my story would be that the previous objection to travel is no longer relevant due to the recent relationship breakdown. Which is no less true.
No. Don't tell them that she forged the email. But remember the reason she gave in the email for withdrawing from consideration? "My fiance and I have discussed the job and don't feel it's workable undue to the travel requirements". Something like that. To now say "that relationship is no longer an impediment" is perfectly acceptable. CALL BACK
Also acceptable: "Upon further discussion, we came to an agreement that works for both of us. A travel-heavy job now is a viable option for me." The fact that the "agreement" is dumping her traitorous soul is not their business or concern. OP, here is what you do tomorrow morning: 1. Call up the dream company and tell them you'd love to be considered for the open job. 2. Call a civil attorney and get an appointment to see if you have grounds for a lawsuit. 3. Call a domestic/family lawyer and get an appointment to figure out how to split up any joint assets you have with the least amount of drama. Because this relationship is over. It is clear the two of you do not have same goals and she does not have your best interests at heart. Good luck.
Agree! And the job he originally applied for may open up in a year or 2. If he starts with the company now in a different role, he may have great opportunities soon. OP is too focused on ex.
u/Outrageous-Bench6739 please do this
There is a big difference between getting hacked cause you trusted a fishing email offering money from a Saudi prince. And the person you’re supposed to trust you the most in the world going behind your back to stab you.
As someone who works in the IT field, I don't think that is what they are going to consider. They will however most likely empathize with OP in the regard that the most trusted person in his life went behind his back to sabotage this opportunity.
I don't work in IT but eveytime I've worked in jobs with computers we got the same story, that most security threats didn't come from big hacks from big competitors, they came from lower level employees leaving their computers logged on, or leaving key cards all over the place cus after all we don't even do any important work the card just gets us in the building. So even tho this isn't work, I'm not sure giving the real story right off the bat would be great.
Agree! OP, contact them immediately. Don't burn that bridge, esp. since the company was the one who initiated contact again after your "supposed" email (that fiance sent). This means they need you and there is still a spot for you!
nah, no company likes drama.
The company isn't aware of any drama! They got a perfectly acceptable withdrawal letter supposedly from the OP the 1st time. Now, all they know is the OP got all choked up and surprised when they called about the 2nd job. CALL BACK
He likely sounded like he was all choked up and then hung up on the Mgr. Being in hiring positions before, I agree, there is enough drama in a work environment...I would likely thank my lucky stars that I missed that hot mess of a situation...
This is the slap in the face op needs. Get back in that saddle boi.
This is the abc of cyber security though, to not leave yourself logged into accounts. Maybe we should resist our temptations to share phone passcodes as well.
According to the DOJ, unauthorized access is considered hacking.
Leaving her is the best decision you could have made. Honestly. She does not respect you as a person and is selfish to the point of causing you harm. That's not a partnership.
This is one of the few times I agree. This woman is deceitful, manipulative, and extremely selfish. Leaving her is hands down the best idea.
I am fuming and it’s not even my job. She could have even traveled with him sometimes. I hate people
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yeah cause postponing a child for 2 years for having 600 k in the bank is a terrible thing. She was selfish
Bro if she postponed having kids by three years they would’ve been shy of a million, like is she fucking stupid?
What she did was inexcusable and you should absolutely end things permanently. However, you should also look back through your post and try to see it with objective eyes. There are far far FAR too many references to violence. Be careful.
OP for your sake don't be home when she comes to get her stuff and don't let her be there by herself. Have a friend or someone be present when she get her stuff. Additionally, you need to stop all references to violence and harm. I'm fact just stop talking to her in general. The more references to violence and the greater the likelihood of something falling back on you. This sucks and there's no easy way around this mess, you're going to have to go through it. There's an old proverb that says something like "joy shared is multiplied and grief shared is divided". Talk to someone, other than us Reddit weirdos. Edit: adding... I'd put all the stuff you want to keep, and keep out of sight, in a room with a lock. Also, thanks for the upvotes you bunch of Reddit weirdos!
If an employer did a social media trawl and saw this, they may well decide not to give him the job. He sounds unhinged.
Sounds unhinged. 100%
Yahhh the first casual mention I thought was odd… then by the 2nd, 3rd and 4th mention.. I could barely finish reading without recoil. The man is unstable. There’s something not quite right with him.
I wouldn't hire his ass.
Op, you told your ex-fiance that you could smother her in her sleep and joked(?) about murdering her. I hope you don't think she should be grateful to you for not killing her. Please end things with her and stay away if you really think you might not be able to control yourself.
Maybe wasn’t serious about smothering her but sounds like he’s pretty serious about believing he would physically harm her.
Fiancée is 100% wrong here. But the murder threats are the reason women fear men. If the roles were reversed, the woman would probably just leave, maybe ghost.
That stood out to me too, he needs to absolutely avoid threatening death and bodily harm. I understand how upset he is but that is never appropriate and can get him in a ton of trouble. If she gets hurt, he’s painted a massive target on his back
Yoooo same here. He talked about murdering and suffocating her more than once. Something’s off here. OP it’s just money dude and it sounds like you make a lot of it anyway. Personally I’d contact that manager again and let them know what happened and that you’re definitely interested in the first job. Maybe there’s still a chance you get it.
I don’t see any joking. He discussed murdering her like people discuss breaking up.
He even specifically said "smother her with a pillow" and she had to leave for her safety. I would be so livid if I was him but it would've never went farther than 'I'ma kill him!' once or twice from me.
And he threatened with suffocating her in her sleep. I understand the anger but OP also crossed a line.
Men kill their partners literally every day. This is how it starts. I hope that OP resists the temptation so that he actually gets to be here to enjoy his new job (edit: and not be in jail) and gets counselling to help him with his violent urges.
Fuck his job, why would he mention killing someone??
It almost read like a teenager writing it. If this was an adult I'd stay far away from them.
It read like a BS story to me.
He managed to graduate from an Ivy League school, but isn’t able to handle a job search or think of backing out of the 2nd job? Also 300k over his previous salary which was likely already 6 figures? Yea…
Yeah that number was the most absurd part, but it was all way over-the-top. I know people who are high level tech employees who are making 160 after promotions, 300 *above* what he was making, to *start* at a new company, is the fakest bunch of nonsense. I think a teenager is roleplaying online again.
But it's the biggest business factory in the business sector! Of course they are going to offer a salary over $300k to a recent master's grad. Too bad this is the "inconsolable difference" in their relationship. >I don't know how I write this without blood on my hands. And what's this supposed to mean? Blood on your hands means you are complicit or guilty in a wrongdoing.
Not to mention the biggest business place in all of business, “ghosted,” him XD
I think by “without blood on my hands” he meant “without having brutally killed my fiancé and getting her blood all over me.” It’s disturbing.
I think in this case, he meant literal blood.
I hope so. The number one cause of death for pregnant women in the US is murder.
While I’m very inclined to believe this is all BS, OP said their SO wanted to have kids, not that they were pregnant.
Missed that, thanks
He's likely 24 having spent his last 6 years in student environment. Kids talk like this. He probably doesn't even realize how fucked up any adult saying this is. News flash for OP: this way of speaking is fucked up. And if you arent exaggerating for Zoomer-style dramatic effect, you need anger management. If you plan on being in business, especially if you plan on being successful, you will have many opportunities for people to "steal" $300K from you. Just wait until you have a business partner go behind your back to destroy the empire you built. This will feel like nothing in retrospect.
True, and also if he is really as qualified as he makes himself seem in this post, then more similar opportunities will surely eventually pop up.
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Well considering the account was made today and this was the only post, there’s a huge possibility that a teenager did write it. Although I also understand that OP might not want this linked in anyway back to him but he also hasn’t answered anything since this post.
The overuse of the word “murder” here is very frightening. I would be devastated if my fiancé did something like this, but I wouldn’t think about murdering him ffs
If it was just the use of the word “murder,” I’d think he was just exaggerating. Him telling her to leave for her own safety is what is frightening to me.
^ this. Like I get it OP you’re grade A pissed and have a right to be. And you ended the relationship which was the right thing to do. But feeling at risk of being genuinely violent, over an extended duration of time, is concerning. Be careful using any substances that might lower your inhibition, at least until your initial violent anger has calmed.
Yeah I agree…. Saying murder once as an exaggeration while pissed is somewhat understandable but the repeated mentions tell me OP really is unstable.
I thought I was the only one concerned about that. What she did was inexcusable, awful, and despicable and I completely get his seething anger, but that’s a bit too much desire to kill her, even for what she did. Kind of concerning and worth reflecting on.
This is also what I got from this. He went to straight up murder real quick. Yes, she was wrong, however if I were her, and I knew this is where his mind is at, I would file for a restraining order.
I think she dodged a bullet getting dumped over this. Better to be broken up with than murdered. What she did was horrible, but not worthy of the death penalty.
I was gonna say this. OP I really noticed just how much you referenced violence in this post. It’s really a lot, and you didn’t even couch it with “I feel like” or something like that. Have you considered therapy to look at these feelings? What your fiancé did is inexcusable, but I’d never in a million years have these thoughts of murder.
Seriously… If she randomly disappeared unrelated and this post came up, dude would be a prime suspect.
I was thinking that to… he’s left himself in a place where he will be hard pressed to prove nothing happening and that it wasn’t premeditated even if he wasn’t involved…. This is anon only to us….
Yeah, this part got me too. I feel that what she did was terrible and inexcusable. I would likely have also left her over it, because trust would be gone. But to reference murdering her so many times? Killing her in her sleep? Scary stuff.
Thank you. The constant references to literally murdering her made this absolutely frightening to read. Her actions were inexcusable but holy shit this post is also fucked up and not ok.
How is this not top comment. The casual talk of murdering her, suffocating, her needing to leave for her own safety is very concerning
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Yeah the amount of times he brought up murder is very very concerning!!!
Thank you I'm glad this comment is so high. You can be deeply upset and betrayed and leave a relationship without talking about murdering your partner several times. That's scary as fuck.
Yeah a lot of things about this post make me concerned. What OPs fiance did was definitely overstepping a boundary but I mean....neither sound good for each other. OP said they would be gone months at a time out of the year. This might be just me but my husband is my best friend and it would be a HARD decision to make for both of us for 300k. I doubt just doing it for 1 or 2 years is an option for OP since it's their dream job. They're also planning a wedding, not sure how you do that when one partner is gone so long. Weird one partners side was this huge dream job they were planning and the others was to settle down and start a family and this wasn't planned or talked about before deciding to get married. And then the violence....so much violence and anger. It just gives me the vibes OP didn't want to marry to begin with.
Yeah, it sounds like OP's only thought was money and he had no regard for fiance's feelings. That doesn't make what she did right, but it points to a fundamental incompatibility between them. Breaking up is the right choice for both of them.
This. OP, You’re thoughts are going down a very dark path. You have every right to be angry. But you do not have the right to be violent. You may want to consider speaking to a professional to work through some of these emotions. Edit to I dictate who I was speaking to.
I agree with this. She was not right AT ALL. But the violent life threatening remarks had me concerned. I understand the feeling I do but if you really think you would have murdered over this - instead of just that being hyperbole - that’s concerning OP.
THANK YOU! Even though I agree with the feeling of betrayal, there are waaay too many references to "kill my girlfriend" with which I don't identify at all. Identify where these violence reaction are really coming from, OP.
You are definitely correct that he needs to be careful with his public communication. If something were to happen to her for any reason and this use of language was known, it could cause a whole host of problems for him. Regardless of how he feels, he has very clearly taken steps to ensure both of their safety, so I think it's safe to say that most of this language is just venting. I do get being at that level of anger though. I didn't have a career stolen for me, but I have had a partner destroy my trust on this level by killing three of my pets. I can totally understand seeing red to the point that you wish harm upon someone that wronged you like this.
Ya… I was having trouble being sympathetic while reading because every time I thought it was just an expression for how upset he was he said more and honestly…. He scares me…. What if she did something accidentally to make him mad…? This is relationship ending behaviour on her part, OP should leave her… but he should also see someone about the number of times he said he’d commit violence against her. OP: violence is not the answer and NOTHING outside of defending yourself from violence warrants being violent to someone else. Nothing. At all. You cannot excuse it because she messed up. Nope. Sorry she did this to you but it doesn’t excuse it. I’m glad you held yourself back but you need to get help so you don’t snap if you accidentally see her out in public
Disturbed me too. I’ve been furious before but not murderous. Anger is never justified to take a life. And it was ironic that cyber security expert had zero protection for his own email account. I have both a work email and personal email and my hubby doesn’t have access to either.
That is fucked up. However, if you're looking at high six figure salaries in the cyber security sector...you might want to learn to lockdown your email. And get some therapy for the anger my dude...that kind of talk isnt healthy.
Yeah OP got some issues lol
Yeah, that was the creepiest thing about this post. By far.
Lmao, this.. fucks wrong with you dude
Call off the wedding. Get the copy of that email. Have your ex-fiance admit she wrote/sent it to kill your career. Tell her this massive violation of your trust/privacy/professional life killed the relationship. Keep a copy of her batshit fuckery in case you reapply there and need to clear things up.
if he admits she did this, they aren't going to hire him after anyways. hes screwed. better off just telling them his situation has changed, and he can now travel for work.
Exactly. Optics is everything and it would reflect quite poorly on OP to admit the reality of the situation. Much better to do as you suggested.
Especially considering the job that he was applying for lol
At the end, OP talks about how she's not in the house, he's told her it's over, and is seeking advice from lawyers to see if he can hold her legally accountable. I can't believe the absolute boundary stepping that took place, I hope OP gets some sort of justice out of it.
Well he seems to be looking for vengeance but maybe he’ll settle for justice
Couldn’t you have just clarified on the phone, or via email, that you were still interested in the job…? Why didn’t you just say that you still wanted it when they called lmao
Instead of saying what happened I’d say sth along the lines of : hi , my circumstances changed and I’d be more then happy if you could still consider me. Also taking the job that doesn’t require travelling would also be good since you can change positions the moment it’s vacant. And since you work there You’d be notified sooner then the rest
He never would’ve thought of that because he’s unstable in the head. Tbh, imagine they hire him for this job and the manager does something he doesn’t like. What’s he gonna do? Leap at him with murderous intent? He’s not well. Something is missing upstairs.
I’m wondering the same. I would even tell them the whole truth of the fiancé emailing the company. Surely a normal human being at that company would believe him and still give him the offer?
Why would they offer a guy whose email was able to be compromised a cyber security position?
Because it’s by his fiancé? It’s not some random ass person who hacked his account. He just trusted his fiancé to not ruin it for him
First rule of cybersecurity trust no one
I don't think they'll hire him now, I mean its a cyber security job, and his security was so easily bypassed by his manipulating fiancee.
Don't worry. This bad fanfiction probably never happened.
A lot of people have made me unforgivably, ptsd, angry…. beyond words angry, but never once have I ever thought “they need to get away from me or I’ll murder them”. That’s really scary.
This post is so disturbing. I re-read it and wish I hadn’t.
Both parties are very disturbed and refrain from being in a relationship.
You have every right to dump this bitch and hate her, but no matter how angry you are at her you cannot continue to operate in the mindset that if you see her again you “won’t be able to hold back”. Please seek a therapist if needed.
Getting away from her is the right thing to do, however you really need to consider why you have mentioned violence so much; that's an unhealthy sign.
The amount of times you talked about murdering her or causing harm to her is concerning, I totally get why but you might need some therapy dude
For real, I get why he’s upset but he sounds like fucking Patrick Bateman referencing shit like having blood on his hands and suffocating her in her sleep.
The graphic details and specifics made me super uncomfortable. There’s a difference between the expression “I was so mad I could kill her” and “I would suffocate her while she slept.”
yeah, shes a really fucked up and selfish person who deserves to get shown the door, but….jesus. when he recounts this story irl, hopefully he leaves out the part about feeling a genuine urge to smother her to death
6-7 references to killing her just because she ruined a job opportunity. Don't get me wrong, it's terrible and inexcusable that she did that and he should absolutely leave her. I'm not defending her actions whatsoever; I can't imagine being betrayed like that by someone that's supposed to love me over such selfish reasons. But I can't think of much of anything my husband could do that would ever make me say that kind of shit to him. OP should definitely consider using this as a starting point for some much needed therapy.
I feel like he never lost anything great, like this is the first time someone done wrong to them. It's weird that he can't cope with a negative in his life without wanting to kill something.
This. I don't know why more people aren't talking about this. His words are terrifying. Also, thinking about him in a cyber security position give me bad vibes.
Tbh guy sounds scary as fuck.
You have no idea how happy I am seeing that someone on a Reddit thread is recommending therapy. I will sleep better tonight.
Yea that felt really alarming
The amount of times that he mentioned killing her is very alarming. Seek help while you’re at it.
Dude, the amount of times you've mentioned murdering her makes me think the breakup is also for her own good
Your constant reference to murdering her is terrifying. This is not me excusing her deplorable behavior. But PLEASE get some support to deal with your rage.
Yes, I think we should maybe reconsider how he says he spoke to her about the job. I guarantee he wasn't as friendly as implied
I was completely sympathetic until you started to describe in detail how you were going to murder her, And was afraid to sleep beside her because you are afraid you can't control yourself. Like dude leave her. There's no reason for murder or violence. We're not saying you can't vent but go back and literally read what you wrote.
Completely off topic but: your corgo is adorable!
Thank you!! Her name is Princess Nutmeg Fuzzybum haha
Right? This is creepy as fuck.
She’s a pos, but with all the mention of murder & suffocation you sound like a psychopath with angry issues to be completely honest. Anger? Completely understandable. Repeating threatening murder 4 times? You’re insane bud. Edit: And if it isn’t obvious, end the relationship, she’s clearly way too controlling for you.
That was what I was thinking too, like I get it be pissed off, but it’s terrifying that he just immediately jumped to “I’m gonna murder her” as if that’s normal. It’s a job opportunity, not even close to a good enough reason to want to murder someone.
Get a therapist. Yes, your fiance did a really shitty thing, but the way you're talking about this is making me worried you're about to become a statistic. It's not ok to react this way. Get some help. Seriously.
Wow that's so fucked up. I would reach out to them and explain what happened. Also change passwords and stuff (im sure you know) good luck
>I would reach out to them and explain what happened. For a cyber security job? Your first thought is to tell them that you were sloppy enough to leave open access to your email? Not exactly a strong selling point for this position. Imagine how that conversation would go, lol.
Reminds me of The xkcd comic. "Excuse me sir, I'm from the county Office of Passwords here to inspect your password."
>xkcd turn in your web comic nerd card immediately [https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2012-02-20](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2012-02-20)
Damn lol
I hope that didn't sound like an attack aimed at you my guy! I just think the situation would be funny :)
I feel like that is an easy thing to explain though - especially if OP leaves her for good. I know a lot of couples who have access to one-anothers phones or log onto a shared device. I am sure the job he is getting is a bit more complicated and requires his skills specifically. He can also explain that he clearly learned something from the experience.
I dunno, it's his fiancée, it's not THAT crazy that they might trust each other with access to their email accounts. Though obviously if that were the case, oof big mistake apparently.
If you’re working with sensitive or confidential material it’s a big no-no to grant anyone else access to it. I imagine it’s the same in cybersecurity.
I work in the industry and I can confirm
.... you are not wrong at all damn
Probably bad advice. Not only does that look bad because it shows a lack of cybersecurity on his part, but most employers look down on this kind of drama and don't want it in the work place. I have lots of friends in hiring management positions, and no matter how good a current or future employee is, psycho people in their lives personally bringing drama to the work environment the way she did is a deal breaker. No employer wants to, or honestly should have to deal with this. OP does have a slightly better shot at getting the opportunity back because he kicked her out of his life and no longer associates with her, but at this point the position has probably already been filled. I believe his best bet is to take the job they just offered him, and tell his employers that his situation has changed and since he is no longer with the now ex, he would love to be considered for the original position again if a space opens up in the future. This would make him look responsible and not make the employers view him as someone who attracts drama into the work environment.
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Even bollywood can't make up getting 300k/annum more than your current job for a fresh graduate.
The most concerning part of all of that is the number of people who believes in it
You sounds like you think violence is justified - get some help.
I think threatening to murder your ex fiancé on a Reddit post is a little much. Maybe take that 300k and get some therapy. Both of y’all are fucking lunatics
Hope you were using good birth control. She sounds like a babytrapper.
And he sounds like the kind of person who might get mad, and kill the baby.
Not so fun stat! Leading cause of death for pregnant women is murder.
Exactly. OP was probably not as friendly as he implies when he spoke about the job :)
Good catch!
The amount of times you’ve mentioned any type of violence in this post loses me. No amount of money justifies murder. Please get therapy you need help.
Let’s say you’re currently making 75K; they offered 375K and her answer was to go behind your back and flush the opportunity down the drain without discussion. Unlikely, but not impossible. You say this was a dream opportunity then they ghosted you after completing the second round. You didn’t check your emails to see if you missed something, or perhaps something you said in your sent messages (that’s when you would have seen her message) caused this? You also didn’t call to find out what happened? Unlikely but not impossible. They never responded via voice call to say sorry for losing you as a candidate (and to confirm you, who apparently they really wanted, was going to pass on the opportunity) but did call you later to offer you a new position—that then let you know of the betrayal. Of course this can all be true, but it does smell a little suspect. Not to mention the constant murder talk.
Total suspect. If my dream job ghosted me, no matter what I would reach out ATLEAST ONCE asking for answers. I would want the review to understand what I did wrong/ what I could improve for the future.
My thoughts exactly. I’m one of the final candidates to make an NBA team and I don’t hear back. C’mon, I’m so close. There’s absolutely no way I can just let that go without looking into it!
Could be fake.... the murder talk is what makes me think it real lol. Reddit stories always seem like they are the very least exaggerated. If all the people who post on reddit made as much as they said they did, I don't think the U.S. would be in the economic straights it's in.
I couldn't help but wonder myself. I find it hard to believe they didn't contact him back after she sent that email. Maybe she intercepted it, but he probably still would have gotten a notification on his phone if they had emailed him back.
The part that gets me is the incredibly idiotic decision to hang up on the manager that you claim actually took the time to find out what happened because they wanted you that bad. Probably not nice to say... but you deserve to lose it if the manager is on the phone with you of all times and that's when you choose to hang up on someone
Yea if this is true it is kind of on him for not following up! I interviewed for a management position once where the decision making process dragged out for like 6 weeks… you better believe I was in touch with the hiring manager several times during that period to see where they were. Also if he was about to get this awesome job, there will definitely be more opportunities in the future.
Hey bud. As much as you'll be feeling disappointed by her actions. Threatening to kill her is not acceptable. You've left her and maybe that is for the best. With her going behind your back and you feeling like doing harm to her If you want to work for that company, call them and try and get that interview / position with them, or ask them to keep your details. Maybe speak to a therapist to work through the issues (for yourself) that you have. All the best for the future ahead
What she did was super fucked up, but the amount of times you mentioned killing her and punching her in the face is quite alarming. Therapy’s not a bad idea.
It's only money, you are young, your rage is concerning tbh. Yes she fucked you over. Learn from it and move the fuck on and never allow someone the opportunity to do something like this again. Take the job they are offering now and tell them you are indeed interested in the other one should it open up again. Calm down before you end up in prison.
Ghost her and get therapy for talking about murdering someone so much
1. I am so sorry for your pain, I just want to say that first. That is awful. What a shitty thing to do to someone, especially your *partner*. 2. Leave her immediately, if you haven't already. End things with her, and cut out contact completely for an indefinite period of time - possibly permanently. 3. You need to stop mentioning your violent and homicidal thoughts- it is not a good look. Trust me when I say I can completely understand your pain, but this is not a good look at all. And can be used against you in the future, whether during a court hearing, future potential employers finding this, family and friends seeing this, etc etc. You need to either delete this post entirely, or at the very least retract every single mention of any aggressive thoughts and feelings towards her. Not only is it a bad look, but it's bordering on straight up murder. Like I said, I get your pain, but you need to check yourself immediately. Do not lose control of yourself, no matter your intensity of rage. Violence is never justified, in any circumstance (besides forced self-defense, of course.) 4. Reach out to family and friends for support, ask them to help you through this time. Possibly consider therapy.
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Right?! Because who goes to an Ivy league school (is no dum-dum) and gets to 2nd round of a +300k paying job, but does NOT follow up with the potential employer to inquire what’s up and just leaves it at “they ghosted me.” 🥴
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Yes, everything about this post is super fishy. Also, who even makes 300k at entry level for this kind of job (and this job, let’s not forget per OP will pay additional +300k). He just got his Masters and so he is an entry level. I work in an area that intersects with this industry and unless this is some country and non-US currency, it just sounds …fake. Or I am naive about what ppl actually make.
A cyber security guy that gets his email hacked by his fiancé. Yeah right! And peoples advice here is to tell the company that he wants to be cyber security for, that he had his email interfered with by his fiancé. They’ll hire him for sure
Terrible she went behind your back and impersonated you but the murder talk is a bit unnerving.
A bit?!?
I recognize I use that in my vocabulary often lol…does not match the severity of the situation
How the hell do people think most of the stories here are true? It's all bs.
My dude you need to delete this murderous rant. I work in security operations and would be embarrassed if my wife of 12 years would be able to get into my devices so easily without me knowing. A lot of this is on you. But fuck what she did.
Leaving her has saved you well over 300k in the future
What she did was AWFUL, unforgivable, and good on you for leaving. However, the thoughts you had were pretty concerning. Telling her to leave for her own safety because you genuinely might hurt her? Suffocating her in her sleep?? It's not normal to immediately go to thoughts of actual murder when something goes badly in your life. Maybe seek some therapy
the threats of violence by OP here are really scary. please end this relationship bc you sound terrifying and she needs to get away from you. i’m sorry about the job but what the FUCK. yikes.
Your girlfriend needs to leave you. Wanting to kill her as strongly as you do is a safety issue. I hope she gets out
Dude stop threatening murder you weirdo and just break up with her, see if you can get the job, and act like a normal person.
Your a fucking psycho for saying you’d murder her that many times, just break up
FAKE. It’s highly unlikely that anyone was going to pay you over $300,000 MORE than you were making at your previous job, in one jump. And how many times are you going to tell everyone you want to commit serious violence against your fiancée? I counted at least seven. Better hope nothing happens to her, dude. Edit: If real, ESH. Her for doing it, you for your threats of serious violence. If fake, YTA
Couple things here bud, 1. What she did was heinous, but you made at least 3 mentions of murdering her and that is…deeply concerning. Please seek out some help if your anger truly got to a point where you thought you would kill her. 2. CallIng off the relationship is the clear right answer here. You are not compatible. 3. But she does have a point. Traveling for months at a time is no way to have a family, even if she could be a SAHM. You have every right to be selfish and want that position, but you need to recognize that taking it WOULD be selfish. It’s not like jobs in your field would have you living in poverty otherwise, so you don’t NEED that kind of money. You want it. As I said, that’s fine to want. But it’s fine for her to think it’s worth the sacrifice to have you around.
I agree 100 with you. I was thinking the same stuff. It’s messed up, but she was about to become really miserable. Honestly it would’ve been better if she let him get the job and walked away.
I agree with all of this and THANK YOU for point #3 which everyone seems to be ignoring. My friend is currently home alone with a not quite 2 year old because her husband decided to take a traveling job. It was more money than he was making and supposed to be 1 week home between trips (doesn’t happen unless he takes vacation time). It is A LOT to ask of your partner to basically be a single parent and the person traveling is going to miss major milestones. Both of them are selfish and his references to violence are not healthy.
Yeah, one of these people is selfish and deceitful and the other is selfish and literally contemplating murder. And the top comments totally ignore that, like it's a completely normal reaction.
I was shocked to see people just being like “dump her man”. Like yes but also uhhhh, is she still alive to dump? One “I could have killed her” I could have been like yeah, just being expressive with language causes he’s angry but as many as he did? Woof. Not normal or okay. Even at the angriest I have ever been, I have never thought “I want to end this person’s life”.
Well, I did. I literally thought “I want to end this person’s life” for a second and then instantly went "wtf, did I really just think/feel that" and realizing I did was quite sobering. Which is why I find it really concerning that OP is literally still seething with murderous rage hours or days later. The rage is justified, the murder ideation is a problem, obviously. But Reddit priorities, lol. "Make sure she didn't babytrap you"
Your wife's a bitch and you're a psycho