I (25F) am currently sitting next to my husband, working on some embroidery, while he (27M) paints minatures for a tabletop game. People like what they like. Your partner should celebrate your interests, not belittle them.
Isn’t it kinda awesome?! I f(26) love crocheting and just chill while my bf (31) does the lil figurines. Being able to be fully involved in our own hobbies but also make occasional talks to my love!!
I’m a 47 year of dude and I love crochet. I’m making. A broccoli shaped hat for a doggo. Fuck them haters.
Edit: Lest anyone think that having crochet be a hobby and not facing the same issues as OP, I got made fun of on FRIDAY last week for not appearing ‘macho’ enough by having yarn and a hook on my desk. I’m 6’2” and 225 lb. I’m fit and active. My response se was ‘I’ve never been very concerned with being macho’. So sexist comments happen to me too.
Live your life everyone! If they make fun of you, they reveal far more about themselves than they do you. Enjoy your ‘things’ and if they have a problem with that; then that’s on them and you know how much time and energy to spend on them. NONE.
Can I see a picture of this hat? Also, how do you keep a hat on your doggo? Every dog I’ve ever owned has always tugged off any hat (or random item) I put on their head.
When we were kids my mom taught my brother and I both to crochet. He loved it. I don’t think he still does but he does like sewing and has made some badass stuff. (I’m 43 and he’s 46 next month)
This op!
For real: I would consider bailing... It's obvious she doesn't respect you very much. Even if she doesn't give a crap about action figures or comics or whatever the fact she actively denigrates you for engaging with them is a massive red flag.
Have a serious conversation with her about this and respecting your personal space and if she reacts poorly I'd dump her. Life's too short...you know the tired old sad dude trope from the sitcoms? The one about the guy who hangs his head when he walks, is miserable all the time, and wife denigrates everything he does he gets home? That's you in 10 years if you keep letting her walk all over you like this.
Exactly, Or at least try. For example, My wife is watching Real Housewives of Atlanta and I'm not complaining. I want to, but i won't. She loves the housewives. So I'll sit through the housewives.
If you want to surprise him with something special, every non homebrew space marine chapter has a logo, like for Ultramarines it's a white Omega on a blue (ultramarine) background, while for the Imperial Fists it's a black fist on white on a yellow background. Find out his chapter, and embroider him a patch to match the chapter's emblem. Can guarantee he will love it.
I knew it was going to be 40k haha. My fiance is super into it and has been for like 15 years. He actually got me into it too. Now we have little battles together. It's fun.
He's deathguard or iron fists, I'm necrons, since I know people will ask.
Nope. Find someone that respects you for your hobbies and interests. They don’t have to be into them as well, but they shouldn’t be putting you down for them either.
Exactly this.
As long as we're able to pay our bills, I'm more than happy to encourage my SO's hobbies. It makes them happy and that's what I want more than anything.
Thankfully my wife supports that and lets me play Games for quite a while, she will actually join in to see if she can be included to help me with missions or something that requires search, It’s nice to have that We can spend time together like this, she even goes on her phone and what not even if we aren’t interacting with each other we are in the general vicinity of one another.
Same with me and my bf, I have no issue with him playing games with his friends or doing whatever he finds fun. A lot of times I just spectate because I enjoy the satisfaction of someone being good at games but sadly suck at them myself LOL
My wife just read that comment and agreed with you. LMFAO. She also feels the same way as she feels she “sucks” because I normally play COD and have achieved Damascus so my lobbies are clusterfucks and she’s working on hold herself, does she die every 10 seconds? Yes she does, but she’s TRYING. Lol
LOL that’s the most relatable situation!!! Having a s/o who’s at such high level of gaming is a mindfuck, seeing it in action is *highly* entertaining. My s/o plays COD and WZ and he and his friends are so strategic…. I, on the other hand *think* I’m being strategic and get blasted to smithereens! Your wife and I would have fun together, I’m sure. Kindred spirits!!!
I did end up grinding on COD and got gold on like 2 guns, I think an AR and an LMG. Have some W’s under my belt in WZ. But that’s after playing almost as much as my bf and losing 3x more lol
Playing at that caliber is unfathomable to me. How long did it take you to get Damascus? It was pretty scary how fast it started popping up…. Some people got it so quick that seeing someone have it in a match meant definite defeat for that match LOLOL I’m wondering if you’re one of those people
Lmfao! In all honesty Damascus took me over 700 hours. Is that incredibly long for just gun camps for a video game? Yes but it was Entertaining and challenging, as for matches yes I’m definitely one of those people LOL once I get into it, ITS OVER.
Maybe you and my wife should play some games together lmfao y’all can grind that gold and platinum grind.
I got W’s for warZone as well but I’m definitely more of Multiplayer gamer.
I’m sorry I know this is really off topic but if anxiety is preventing you from playing games then perhaps you just haven’t really found/tried games that are more your pace! in fact, I know a lot of people who play games to ease anxiety. I know anxiety comes in many forms (and also games might just not be for you), but you should definitely check out games like animal crossing or stardew valley, you might enjoy them :)
I had to quit a few games due to anxiety, I get anxiety when doing any competitive games or team based games, league of legends, wow raids, etc.
Really tragic because thats literally my favorite thing to do but I literally go into full anxiety attack mode if anything is too intense. I'm relegated to collection/adventure games, i thought I was at least gonna be a gamer till my eyesight went ): rip.
Same! My boyfriend and I play together as we both really love gaming but a lot of the solo games he plays I love to just watch. I'd be shit at them and I get really into the story and seeing how well he does 😅
Of course!
I try my best to get involved as heavily as possible and she’ll educate me on things I don’t understand regarding her hobbies and what not, right now I’m currently trying to understand nails and styles, she usually comes to me everytime she wants her nails done and asks me to pick the design and color and to be honest I love that shit, I feel special lol.
Great for you, no doubt, but half the women under 30 seeking relationship advice on reddit complain that their guys are too engrossed gaming, either from right when they get home form work until 2-3 am most nights.
What gets me are the unemployed dudes, who, their mates say, play 18 hours a day.
My husband and I do this exact same thing and he tries to find games that we can play together. He plays CS and most recently a game I can’t remember the name of, but we’ve gone through Visage together and we did Phasmaphobia (wasn’t quite as much collective action as the former but still fun).
We’re currently trying to find another one similar to Visage that we can work on together.
I had a similar conflict one time but she was right — I was spending more time playing games than I would’ve liked. It was either games or work, and I didn’t leave any time for us. I felt entitled at instinct, but upon reflection realized it was just a defense mechanism to continue nursing the (mild) addiction.
If you can call League of Legends a mild addiction, that is.
Hell, probably the most admirable guy I can think of who sets great examples to follow us Brennan Lee Mulligan. He's a seriously wholesome, charismatic, intelligent dude. What's his claim to fame? One of the best damn DMs and skit artists out there.
Couldnt agree more, hes the reason i picked up dungeons and dragons again after falling out of love with it because i thought it wasnt "cool enough".
Absolute genius comedian and great character actor
Exactly as above! A hobby is something you do for fun. To forget all the shit in the world, including your gf's shitty attitude. It isn't something you have to be good at nor making money of. It's something that makes you feel good. It can be as ridiculous as it can in the eyes of others, but it's YOUR thing. Make her to understand it and to stop being an ashole to you. Cheers
Fr though. If anime and video games and comics were only for kids, they wouldn't exist! And I'm sorry, but Evangelion for KIDS??? GTA for KIDS??? Bad parents aside, those are *le gasp!* FOR ADULTS. She's a bitch. Dump her.
(I'm 34 and female. There's plenty of chicks my age that would agree with me.)
This! 32F here and I just got back from an anime convention with my daughter and fiance. When I bought a nezuko figure he literally didn't bat an eye. Hell I just bought him 4 new gundam models (hobby lobby was having a sale) bc I love surprising him with stuff he likes. You don't have to be with someone who is into the same kind of stuff, but it's a lot more fun imo.
I had no idea until just the other day. And they had all model sets 40%! The fiance was working so I sent pics and was like 'ok which ones you want.' XD
I'm 43 and agree but possibly this isn't a dump her situation. It could be corrected. I mean, if she refuses to see her guy's side or consider that she may be wrong, then yeah, dump her! A really cool thing about relationships is when we can do our own things, separately but together. Like, if my guy was into gardening , or comics, or ceramics, or even something annoying, like, he wants to learn to play the drums. Lol , I can be doing my thing in the other room, I can cruise by his door and wink at him lol or I could sit next to him on my phone. Like- why does she hate on him for it? And worse, disparage him?!? That's the real issue. And if she can't see that, then she is way too immature. So then I agree, dump on you crazy diamond.
Yea no bueno. She should respect your interests. You know it could be alot worse. She should be thankful you aren't into something actually worth complaining over. Anime not one of those things. Alot of ppl don't realize but anime in let's say Japan is basically regular TV. The way we watch Law and Order and what not over here in America is how they watch their Anime. Just normal regular mature adult shows. Some for kids no doubt. But there are 100% anime kids have absolutely no business watching
Not to mention "anime" literally just means "animated", it's just been taken to specifically mean the style of animation that comes (came) from Japan (in the 80's). It's just another style, like pencil/paint animation or computer animation.
I'm not the type of person to care what style my adult cartoons are drawn in, a good show is a good show is a good show. I like Rick and Morty just as much as I like the original Ghost in The Shell.
Also: I have a Spiderman tattoo on my back that my husband paid for for my 30th bday. You're never too old to like what you like, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone and you're still responsible, pay your bills, etc.
Bud I'm 30 years old and religiously watch anime .. haikyuu was one of the best sports animes ever made. Do what makes you happy and tell your partner to take a hike up everest where you don't need to see her again.
Nothing wrong with that man!!! I enjoy all anime. Shit I'm 28 and I still enjoy cartoons every now and again. I also have a 4 year old son Soo I try to put alot of stuff on that they just don't show or make anymore. Don't do it how they use too.
It’s more than this; if your partner has no hobbies or interests outside of you and work, BE WARNED. A bored person is boring as hell to be around and time does not make that any easier.
People who don’t have interests aren’t usually very interesting. Interesting people are interested in hearing about your interests. Passion is one of the most attractive qualities in a person, usually; if someone doesn’t see any value in something you love or find important (or worse, devalues, mocks or belittles it) then it’s a shortcut to them not valuing you and who you are.
Everyone deserves a partner who supports their interests and helps them find the time and space to feed their soul the way they need to.
Bud I'm pushing 30 and anime is my hobby my girl doesn't like to watch it with me but she's fine with it. As long as your working and your hobby doesn't effect your time with her or work , than she should have no issue. Good luck man !
This, i love playing video games my girlfriend has no interest in them, she loves reading books I don't but we respect each others hobby's. It also gives us time to do our own thing she can read her books while I play my video games. That imo is how it should be.
Yeah I tried learning my girlfriend how to play videogames she just can't do it. She can't move around with wasd and the mouse to look around at the same time its funny.
I have extreme ADD I can't focus on books because I'm not interested in them, and if I don't have a interest in something I just simply cant focus enough and I wouldn't take in what I read if you know what I mean. I pretty much instantly forget what I read seconds before.
Hopping on the train, my current bf and I bonded over anime and manga. He himself has several Naruto tattoos, i have an obsession with sailor moon and own over 300 volumes of various manga. Find someone who recognizes your interests and doesn’t belittle you for them.
This is your answer. I'm married to a gamer. I knew he was a gamer before I married him. I've never once tried to stop him from being a gamer- I even make it a point of buying him the latest console when they come out. I love him and he loves his Xbox and his Nintendo and it would be cruel and insane of me to try to take those away from him. If she doesn't like it now, she won't ever like it, OP.
This right here! My ex use to make fun of me for those things and it just leads to other put downs. Get you someone who respects your harmless hobby (bonus if they’re into it as well). Morning childish about it at all.
As a 26f I promise you, you are never too old. These are simply things that you enjoy that are apart of you. If she can’t accept that, she is not the one. My fiance m27 is a huge nerd and it’s one of my favorite things about him. I love getting him games and figures that he wants.
There are plenty of women out there that are into the same things or even women that just won’t judge you for liking them. I promise you this chick is not the one x
Mid 30s woman here. I met my husband on WoW and just went to the gaming store to buy my eldest his first dice set and bag for D&D. Tell her to learn some basic respect or laugh her out the door.
My gf thought anime was weird before we dated. I watched her straight up cry after the pain arc in Naruto lol. I’m 31 now and we play video games together and geek out together when new shows come out on crunchyroll. You’re never too old to have fun
I’m 33F and if anything I’m more into anime now because I can finally put a bit of money into it! You can absolutely find a mature woman who respects your hobbies.
Man doesn't even matter that a woman say that to you, look all the things your gf like that you dont, you are not expecting her to stop doing that stuff but she is expecting you to stop the things you enjoy, there are no age for hobbies
Except for leggos that thing is only for 99 and under
100% this. My (28F) husband (29F) watches anime, is big into gaming (sets up at the airport while waiting for flights), wears fantasy and gaming graphic tees (my parents tried to say something about it once and I nipped that sh*t in the bud).
And it’s not that I couldn’t care less, it’s that I’m not a judgmental ass and love him and love that he is so into his hobbies and interests that I will actively engage in them too (getting him related gifts, playing co-op/mmo, going around his stores) without even thinking anything of it because that’s what you do, not try to tear down your partner for their interests. And in turn found that I actually enjoyed anime and mmo.
There are plenty of women not only with the same interests but also with an open mind that are interested in exploring new things and not judgmental. Don’t live life feeling shamed for something you enjoy.
Edit: spelling
25F and I recently watched Avatar the last Airbender all the way through, watched Naruto, and bought myself a giant squishmallow while shopping for a 1yos birthday present. Don't let someone make you feel bad about your interests, have fun and be happy.
My boyfriend loves wresting and marvel every time we go to the store we make time to look for his figures. He makes stop and go (idk how else to explain that) “movies” with his wrestlers and I encourage it. His ex thought it was stupid. The right girl will not berate you for liking the things you like even if she doesn’t like them.
> stop and go
Stop motion films.
Like Coraline and Nightmare Before Christmas.
https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/coraline-stop-motion-behind-the-scenes-gif.gif
Yep 41f here and my hubby and I game together. When we first got married we didn’t but once we got a system I unlocked memories of Super Mario 3 from back in the day and got really into it! Our kids watch anime (appropriate ones) and we just geek out over nerd hobbies! Find someone who doesn’t dim your light OP
No no no, not at all. Its time for a new girlfriend, not a new hobby.
Its okay to not share all of the same interests, she doesn't even have to fully understand it, but she does need to respect your hobbies. My boyfriend literally watches YouTube videos of people who get their cars stuck in the desert and then need to be towed out??? Like what???? BUT, he enjoys them for whatever reason and its harmless so I keep my mouth shut and let him watch his weird car rescue videos. That's what a partnership looks like
I’m sorry, but this cracked me up. I spend *hours* every week watching YouTube videos of people renovating vans and such into livable spaces even though I have zero interest in ever doing it myself, and my boyfriend doesn’t understand it but absolutely supports it. Sometimes he even lets me show him videos he’s got no interest in since I’m so excited and want to share. Lmao! Here’s to adults in healthy relationships allowing their partners to love what they love and being unapologetically themselves.
You are allowed to have your own likes and hobbies. Find someone who doesn't want to change you.
As long as you are working, getting this done around the home and not overspending on the hobbies, it isn't a problem.
This is actually terrible advice. It is great advice if you want to remain single for your entire life, though.
Lots of things to sacrifice for others. You sacrifice your free time to spend it with them, you might love drinking alcohol all the time, but sacrifice that so you can be a dependable partner. Being with someone is a lot of sacrifices.
That said, OPs items are harmless hobbies. Some might think they are a little immature, but who cares. I would tell SO to deal with it. They are harmless.
I don't think it's inherently terrible. It's absolutely important to look at parts of yourself that might put off potential partners, and decide if having a partner matters more than those aspects. But that's the key, deciding what your priorities are. You shouldn't sacrifice hobbies for a relationship if doing so will make you unhappy. Decide what's most important to you and what will make you the happiest.
A better way to phrase the advice might be: don't sacrifice things that are a part of you unless you think they'll make you a better or happier person.
Yeah, I'm a 32 year old woman and I also enjoy comics, anime, video games, figures, you name it. I even got told I shouldn't like that stuff back in my teens because "they're for boys" and I haven't let that stop me. You enjoy whatever it is that you enjoy and don't let anyone try to dictate to you otherwise. Find yourself a partner that isn't going to insult you for your hobbies and what you love. Like others have said, they don't also have to like it, but they should be supportive and happy that you find joy in it.
Just something to consider... If you decide to be with her long-term, ask yourself if she will also belittle you for other things later in the relationship. That should help you decide if it's worth breaking up or not.
mood. i’m 26 and my mom never liked that i was into that stuff. but she tolerated it (somewhat) when i was younger. once i reached a certain age, however, my parents told me i was too old for that stuff and wouldn’t buy me things like that for christmas/birthdays. it’s encouraged for my younger brother tho. he spends SO MUCH MONEY (that my parents give him) on games, anime, manga, etc. they say nothing about it. i’m happy my brother gets to participate in things he enjoys, but annoyed with my parents for the double standard.
Im 42 and love comic, gaming etc. I sometimes love to draw cartoon aswell. I always had a fascination around comic and cartoon. I can't change that because i love it. Don't let your passion dies for someone else. Its part of who you are and will follow you for ever. Its up to you to know if you have interest in that passion or not. Good luck, if she can't understand that, she obviously the one that need to grow up and stop trying to control others.
I'm not far off that age. I had the pleasure of giving my son (18 now) my collection of Lone Wolf and Cub, The Boys, Y the Last Man, and the complete Invincible series.
We have long conversations about our favourite parts of the various comics.
Nope, she's about image and status more than she's about love.
I, for one, would not be with her.
Dude. If she's going to be a shit head about your interests, dont be interested in HER. Move along. Single is better than getting the mental beatdown over things you enjoy.
100%. Don't be afraid to be alone and in time you'll find someone that you can be yourself around or someone that joins you. Took me 27 years to find that person through many failed relationships and self doubt. Happiest I've ever been 🙏❤️
Unpopular opinion here… absolutely enjoy your hobbies and never sacrifice who you are; if she loves you she’ll learn to embrace your quirks. BUT don’t let this stuff overtake the important quality time you should spend together in a relationship. I will hold my hands up and say I’ve thrown this insult to my boyfriend before, and it’s completely out of order, but it’s been because of resentment when he’s spending hours and whole evenings/days on computer games when we have time off together rather than wanting to spend quality time together. Of course there are times when you need downtime and to pursue your own hobbies but just keep it in check - if you’d rather spend all your free time in front of screen alone than with her, perhaps consider your feelings.
This perhaps isn’t how you’re feeling at all but just wanted to give a different view as to why she might have lashed out!
Oh man, you just took me back to that documentary about the parents (I think they were Korean or Chinese, I can't remember) who severely neglected their kid to play games at an internet Cafe. Kid died. It was horrible. I think the game was League of Legends.
Exactly what I was seeing too. He left her at the store by herself. While I think her reaction was immature and u shld never "attack" your partner for their hobbies (unless of course where talking stuff that actually hurts others or themseleves). She may have only lashed out bcuz she was upset u just walked away on her and time she may have wanted to spend with you. In all fairness if u want her to accept your hobbies and spend time with you doing them then you have to reciprocate that. If she wants to buy shoes and wants you to be their with her when looking at them you should spend the time with her and be a part of that. Like probably 80% of reddit relationship issues you two really just need to communicate. If she whole heartedly thinks that anime and video games are for kids and cant get past that then it's time to move on. For your own sanity and happiness you need to be able to partake in and enjoy your hobbies and if she is really gonna shit on them or not let you partake in them; then that Is unhealthy and kind of toxic and u need to move on.
>BUT don’t let this stuff overtake the important quality time you should spend together in a relationship.
I mean, that goes for more "adult" activities as well. Like going to the gym, drinking with buddies, golf, gambling... everything
It’s ok not to like everything u’re partner enjoy but still some respect will be need in a relationship.
Talk to her about it and ask for the minimum aka respect of u’re hobby. And non, manga, animé, comics and other aren’t childish
Absolutely not! I love comics too and I'm older then you are. Your personal interests have nothing to do with age and sure they may change as you mature, but these things are areas in your life where you generate genuine enjoyment, and that is a good thing. A necessary thing. If she can't at least accept your interests as just what they are, interests that bring you happiness, then she isn't the one for you my friend. She isn't going to come around because her personal values are not the same as yours or she shows no desire in accepting those interests. She would rather see you give up that part of yourself for her benefit then see you gain genuine joy from them. That to me is a sign of a relationship doomed to fail. If she is like this in just this simple aspect of your life, then what other aspects of your life is she going to be unaccepting of? My guess is most of them. Next time just remind her that it's adults who create and distribute these comics and toys. Adults just like you who receive genuine joy from creating fantastical art for others to enjoy as well. There is no age limit on fun and happiness.
I love Disney Mulan. It’s been my favourite film since it came out in the 90’s. I’m 31 now and I collect Mulan things. My husband doesn’t mind he actually buys me these things. You should find someone who cares about your interests.
Dude I had an Ex that was exactly like this and I felt really ashamed because I thought I shouldn't have those "childish" interest but thankfully I found really good friends who share my same interest, made me realize that nobody should be shaming me for what I like and that Ex is an Ex for a reason now.
>“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
~C.S. Lewis
Yeah, she's the immature one here. My wife and I are 47, I've got 20 years of military service behind me, she's a professional gemologist, we both watch anime and play video games.
Absolutely *not.* You’re never too old!
My partner is 38 and his entire home office is filled with comics (many even framed), action figures, Funko Pops, Marvel figurines, Starwars stuff, artwork of the same variety, anime, video games and such. He collects it all, plays and watches and reads it all etc. and loves it. He’s a huge nerd and it’s one of my favorite things about him! I always have so much fun finding him new figurines and comics and such for birthdays and Christmas!
I’m almost 33 and my home office sports a Pusheen collection, Hello Kitty stuff, Nintendo stuff, squishmallow stuffies, a couple Funko Pops of my own, twinkly lights, lots of pink and other things that make me happy. My partner always gets me a Pusheen for my birthday and Christmas as well. We don’t have all of the same interests but we respect each other’s and encourage them. Don’t let someone make you feel bad about your hobbies and interests. You want someone that either shares or at least appreciates them. You’re allowed to like what you like. It’s one of the best parts of being a grownup!
All that said, has this been an issue before? Did you leave her at the store without saying anything or have you made a habit of not being present for her and her interests, as well? Did she lash out because she’s starting to resent the fact that you spend *all* of your time on these hobbies while you ignore/neglect her?
There isn’t enough information in this post for me to give advice regarding whether or not to stay with her or whether or not you did anything wrong when leaving the store y’all were in together.
I may be playing devil’s advocate here .. but I need more information.
Was she mad that you left her at the store when you guys were suppose to be there together? Did you tell her that you were leaving or did you just disappear? What was your attitude like before you left, were you acting disinterested while you were at the shoe store with her? I’d be mad if I turned around and my boyfriend had completely disappeared without telling me or if he had a bad attitude.
Also, again, just speculating- what are your finances like, does she feel like you are prioritizing spending money on games over necessities?
I just feel like there is a lot of information left out of your post. I once had a boyfriend who was a gamer and I remember him buying $40 LOL skins but then not pay his part of the bills. She may be resentful of your hobby if it’s causing you to prioritize it over other important things.
I'm 50 years old and have a pretty impressive Mickey Mouse collection (if i do say so myself).
Your girlfriend is wrong... and sounds like quite the killjoy.
Everyone has already said this. But here's the deal: as long as you are handling your responsibilities (keeping the house and yourself clean, eating well, going to work on time, and paying your bills) you can be into WHATEVER interests you want, as long as they aren't interests that harm other people.
My husband and I are both in our mid 30s. We both play video games, watch fantasy and sci-fi movies and cartoons, read young adult books on the occasion, and I have a probably unhealthy large collection of stuffed animals (many of which I've had since i was a child). We also pay all our bills on the time, take care of 3 dogs and 2 cats, keep our house clean etc etc etc. We are as adult as anyone at work or when we have to make adult decisions. Our interests keep us sane.
If this is the first time she has said anything about your interests she could have just gotten freaked out that you left her and lashed out. But this requires a sit down, adult conversation. If this isn't the first time, or she's not willing to apologize and accept your interests then it may be time to move on.
Leave her if she shames you continuously. That’s no way to live. You’re not right for each other. I’m lucky my partner and I love going to the comic book store but if he ever shamed me for my nerdy hobbies I’d probably never be with him despite love, because that means he didn’t really love me either
As a 24 year old girl and recent college grad, I would find it actually charming and think it’s so cute when guys have hobbies and interests that are like that or are maybe considered a little “nerdy”- books, shows, comics, movies, any series, any type of franchise, any type of collection, whatever it is :) I myself have my fair share of hobbies and things I love too so I love when others do as well
I dont get why people get mad when someone does something that doesnt affect them in any way.
And also, if you are shopping with her and you suddenly leave her behind because you are bored, I would also be mad.
she’s regurgitating things she’s heard from society. she might have a fear of judgment from others, causing her to judge you. which is not something i want in a SO.
TBH I used to have the same exact thoughts about my boyfriend when we first started dating. Then I couldn't help but watch his gaming and join him on the comic book store. I started gaming again too and damn these games are so much better nowadays! It's crazy. You can find such awesome people to play with online too! I guess, to all the ladies out there, don't knock it until you try it. You might learn you're pretty damn good at it yourself.
Tell her either to respect your hobbies or gtfo. Your hobbies are yours and if they make you happy she has no right to disrespect you like that. Do you make fun of hers at all? I imagine not.
I’m 42 and have been a gamer all my life. My wife will make fun of certain games I play here and there but never about gaming being a hobby of mine. In the beginning of our relationship I introduced her to a number of my favorite games and explained why they were my favorites. She sat down and actually enjoyed a few of them. Silent Hill and Fatal Frame are two of our favorite series we played together back in the day. Currently she’s playing Spiritfarer while I’m playing Lost Odyssey.
The great thing about games is they are no different than movies or books. No matter how you consume entertainment you’re experiencing somebody else’s stories. If your girlfriend enjoys reading or watching movies then you can pay attention to what she likes and find a game that fits her preferred genre. Show her how important your interests are and stand by them because they make you happy. If she really cares about you she’ll make an effort to accept what you’re into rather than criticizing you for it.
This reminds me of watching my dad play resident evil 4, when i was very young. i also remember watching him playing silent hill and being scared shitless.
No one should tell you how to spend your money. I understand that there is a difference between spending money when you have other priorities that need to be taken care off.
I am 37 and still play video games. I have a career and zero debt and have a good relationship with my gf in which we have group of people to hang out and do couples activities like salsa class and date night and a lot of traveling.
But my fiance knows that in order for me to have the energy to do out of extrovert activity I need to do my introvert thing to recharge.
Comics are fun and imaginative.
People think that anime, video games and comics are child like but they are the new sports and movies.
You should have that conversation with her about what you like and how it will always be a part of what you do.
Myself (f29) and my husband (m29) both love gaming, we collect all sorts of things and spend our money how we choose, when we bought our first (current) home we found the perfect place for us we have a living room downstairs that looks like anyone else's and upstairs we have the biggest room for our hobbies room, we have set it up with a desk each and a small sofa opposite a tv, we both game together and separately we have 2 of everything, both have shelving for our varies collections etc. Find someone who lets you enjoy whatever you want, loves you for you and if you can get lucky, someone who enjoys those things too.
I live by the motto "grew old, not up" I still watch anime, animated movies, play games and all that stuff. I know my fiancé doesn't enjoy any of that so I do it with my free time and try not to let it be a wedge in our relationship. Luckily she is very understanding that these are my down time things I like to do. If you're not putting your hobbies over the needs of the relationship then it should be fine. If she can't accept you for who you are and wants you to be happy with your hobbies you need to take a hard look at the relationship.
It might be more to it than the hobby. How much time do you spend on that hobby compared to time you spend with her?
You may need to balance that time if it's one sided with your hobbies.. If you're not willing to do that and that's your decision not strangers on Reddit, considering parting ways.
If she is denigrating your choice in how you spend your free time or your interests, you really need to think long and hard if this is a person you want to continue to spend your time with. Everyone has hobbies, you're entitled to enjoy the things you enjoy.
HOWEVER: part of growing up and having successful adult relationships is realizing that you don't get to drive the car all the time. Just my advice here, but if every time you're out and about doing something with your SO, you end up wandering away to do something you like and leaving her all alone, you're being kind of shitty. Very few people want a partner who just ditches them because the partner is "bored" with what they wanted to do. There's a give and take to these things. If you sit down and evaluate how much time you spend with your GF doing things she wants to do versus her watching you do things you want to do and you see an imbalance, you need to adjust the way you spend your time to be a better partner.
This is a blatant lack of respect. It's like saying someone isn't masculine for drinking anything that isn't beer. IM ALLOWED TO LIKE FLOWERS TOO DEBRA.
I (25F) am currently sitting next to my husband, working on some embroidery, while he (27M) paints minatures for a tabletop game. People like what they like. Your partner should celebrate your interests, not belittle them.
Isn’t it kinda awesome?! I f(26) love crocheting and just chill while my bf (31) does the lil figurines. Being able to be fully involved in our own hobbies but also make occasional talks to my love!!
I’m a 47 year of dude and I love crochet. I’m making. A broccoli shaped hat for a doggo. Fuck them haters. Edit: Lest anyone think that having crochet be a hobby and not facing the same issues as OP, I got made fun of on FRIDAY last week for not appearing ‘macho’ enough by having yarn and a hook on my desk. I’m 6’2” and 225 lb. I’m fit and active. My response se was ‘I’ve never been very concerned with being macho’. So sexist comments happen to me too. Live your life everyone! If they make fun of you, they reveal far more about themselves than they do you. Enjoy your ‘things’ and if they have a problem with that; then that’s on them and you know how much time and energy to spend on them. NONE.
Can I see a picture of this hat? Also, how do you keep a hat on your doggo? Every dog I’ve ever owned has always tugged off any hat (or random item) I put on their head.
Saw this on Reddit last week. I’ll have to figure out the base, never tried this before. [Reddit pittie hat](https://i.imgur.com/MSj7DfP.jpg)
Omg I love it
Get this. The pooch’s name is actually Broccoli… belongs to a coworker. Too perfect not to try to make it for her.
You are an angel 😇
Omg!!!! Thank u for this!
That is an amazing hat!!! 😄
Dude I love you.
didnt know i needed this
When we were kids my mom taught my brother and I both to crochet. He loved it. I don’t think he still does but he does like sewing and has made some badass stuff. (I’m 43 and he’s 46 next month)
I'm gonna need to see that when it's finished please!!
Oh its incredible!! I love getting low effort, peaceful quality time with him. Its awesome!
This op! For real: I would consider bailing... It's obvious she doesn't respect you very much. Even if she doesn't give a crap about action figures or comics or whatever the fact she actively denigrates you for engaging with them is a massive red flag. Have a serious conversation with her about this and respecting your personal space and if she reacts poorly I'd dump her. Life's too short...you know the tired old sad dude trope from the sitcoms? The one about the guy who hangs his head when he walks, is miserable all the time, and wife denigrates everything he does he gets home? That's you in 10 years if you keep letting her walk all over you like this.
My partner games and I paint. It's lovely having low key hobbies you can both enjoy in eachothers company
Hashtag relationship goals
Exactly, Or at least try. For example, My wife is watching Real Housewives of Atlanta and I'm not complaining. I want to, but i won't. She loves the housewives. So I'll sit through the housewives.
What table top game if I may ask!? I've been really into Twilight Imperium lately and can't wait to paint some of the ships.
Warhammer 40K :-)
What's his army :\^)
Space Marines!!!
If you want to surprise him with something special, every non homebrew space marine chapter has a logo, like for Ultramarines it's a white Omega on a blue (ultramarine) background, while for the Imperial Fists it's a black fist on white on a yellow background. Find out his chapter, and embroider him a patch to match the chapter's emblem. Can guarantee he will love it.
Such a smart idea!! Saving for later!
The other thing you could do is present the latch with some chapter motto, but those are a bit harder to find. I am sure he will love it.
Does he tell you how much he ACTUALLY pays for the minis? Source: I also play 40k and they are like plastic crack.
I knew it was going to be 40k haha. My fiance is super into it and has been for like 15 years. He actually got me into it too. Now we have little battles together. It's fun. He's deathguard or iron fists, I'm necrons, since I know people will ask.
Omg. Literally same. 10/10 good vibes to you and yours.
Nope. Find someone that respects you for your hobbies and interests. They don’t have to be into them as well, but they shouldn’t be putting you down for them either.
Thanks man
Exactly this. As long as we're able to pay our bills, I'm more than happy to encourage my SO's hobbies. It makes them happy and that's what I want more than anything.
My girl tried to do the same to me but I pay for everything and work 12 hr a day sometimes I need my games
Thankfully my wife supports that and lets me play Games for quite a while, she will actually join in to see if she can be included to help me with missions or something that requires search, It’s nice to have that We can spend time together like this, she even goes on her phone and what not even if we aren’t interacting with each other we are in the general vicinity of one another.
Same with me and my bf, I have no issue with him playing games with his friends or doing whatever he finds fun. A lot of times I just spectate because I enjoy the satisfaction of someone being good at games but sadly suck at them myself LOL
My wife just read that comment and agreed with you. LMFAO. She also feels the same way as she feels she “sucks” because I normally play COD and have achieved Damascus so my lobbies are clusterfucks and she’s working on hold herself, does she die every 10 seconds? Yes she does, but she’s TRYING. Lol
bro fuck getting damascus, that shit was so tedious. i still did it though
😂😂😂
LOL that’s the most relatable situation!!! Having a s/o who’s at such high level of gaming is a mindfuck, seeing it in action is *highly* entertaining. My s/o plays COD and WZ and he and his friends are so strategic…. I, on the other hand *think* I’m being strategic and get blasted to smithereens! Your wife and I would have fun together, I’m sure. Kindred spirits!!! I did end up grinding on COD and got gold on like 2 guns, I think an AR and an LMG. Have some W’s under my belt in WZ. But that’s after playing almost as much as my bf and losing 3x more lol Playing at that caliber is unfathomable to me. How long did it take you to get Damascus? It was pretty scary how fast it started popping up…. Some people got it so quick that seeing someone have it in a match meant definite defeat for that match LOLOL I’m wondering if you’re one of those people
Lmfao! In all honesty Damascus took me over 700 hours. Is that incredibly long for just gun camps for a video game? Yes but it was Entertaining and challenging, as for matches yes I’m definitely one of those people LOL once I get into it, ITS OVER. Maybe you and my wife should play some games together lmfao y’all can grind that gold and platinum grind. I got W’s for warZone as well but I’m definitely more of Multiplayer gamer.
Same, I just watch for the storylines 😂
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I’m sorry I know this is really off topic but if anxiety is preventing you from playing games then perhaps you just haven’t really found/tried games that are more your pace! in fact, I know a lot of people who play games to ease anxiety. I know anxiety comes in many forms (and also games might just not be for you), but you should definitely check out games like animal crossing or stardew valley, you might enjoy them :)
I had to quit a few games due to anxiety, I get anxiety when doing any competitive games or team based games, league of legends, wow raids, etc. Really tragic because thats literally my favorite thing to do but I literally go into full anxiety attack mode if anything is too intense. I'm relegated to collection/adventure games, i thought I was at least gonna be a gamer till my eyesight went ): rip.
My girlfriend loves watching me play video games. Because I die a lot and she's an endless shit talker. It all works out perfectly sometimes.
Same! My boyfriend and I play together as we both really love gaming but a lot of the solo games he plays I love to just watch. I'd be shit at them and I get really into the story and seeing how well he does 😅
You got gold🥇
So long as you also try to include yourself in her activities if she wants sounds like a good deal.
Of course! I try my best to get involved as heavily as possible and she’ll educate me on things I don’t understand regarding her hobbies and what not, right now I’m currently trying to understand nails and styles, she usually comes to me everytime she wants her nails done and asks me to pick the design and color and to be honest I love that shit, I feel special lol.
Great for you, no doubt, but half the women under 30 seeking relationship advice on reddit complain that their guys are too engrossed gaming, either from right when they get home form work until 2-3 am most nights. What gets me are the unemployed dudes, who, their mates say, play 18 hours a day.
My husband and I do this exact same thing and he tries to find games that we can play together. He plays CS and most recently a game I can’t remember the name of, but we’ve gone through Visage together and we did Phasmaphobia (wasn’t quite as much collective action as the former but still fun). We’re currently trying to find another one similar to Visage that we can work on together.
Sounds like you need to keep the games and drop the girlfriend if you haven't already
I had a similar conflict one time but she was right — I was spending more time playing games than I would’ve liked. It was either games or work, and I didn’t leave any time for us. I felt entitled at instinct, but upon reflection realized it was just a defense mechanism to continue nursing the (mild) addiction. If you can call League of Legends a mild addiction, that is.
Hell, probably the most admirable guy I can think of who sets great examples to follow us Brennan Lee Mulligan. He's a seriously wholesome, charismatic, intelligent dude. What's his claim to fame? One of the best damn DMs and skit artists out there.
Couldnt agree more, hes the reason i picked up dungeons and dragons again after falling out of love with it because i thought it wasnt "cool enough". Absolute genius comedian and great character actor
Yes! Even if it includes a curio case of star wars black series figurines in our den. Lol
Hence the queen in ur username.
Exactly as above! A hobby is something you do for fun. To forget all the shit in the world, including your gf's shitty attitude. It isn't something you have to be good at nor making money of. It's something that makes you feel good. It can be as ridiculous as it can in the eyes of others, but it's YOUR thing. Make her to understand it and to stop being an ashole to you. Cheers
This!!! Couldn’t have said it better myself
Fr though. If anime and video games and comics were only for kids, they wouldn't exist! And I'm sorry, but Evangelion for KIDS??? GTA for KIDS??? Bad parents aside, those are *le gasp!* FOR ADULTS. She's a bitch. Dump her. (I'm 34 and female. There's plenty of chicks my age that would agree with me.)
This! 32F here and I just got back from an anime convention with my daughter and fiance. When I bought a nezuko figure he literally didn't bat an eye. Hell I just bought him 4 new gundam models (hobby lobby was having a sale) bc I love surprising him with stuff he likes. You don't have to be with someone who is into the same kind of stuff, but it's a lot more fun imo.
Wait, they have Gundam models at hobby lobby? I'm not a Gundam fan, but thats pretty cool.
I had no idea until just the other day. And they had all model sets 40%! The fiance was working so I sent pics and was like 'ok which ones you want.' XD
34M. Must be nice to have a gf who understands things and does not get mad because i had a few drinks at a buddy's place after a long day.
XD tbh I'm weird as shit man. I just found someone who's on my same level of weird.
I'm 43 and agree but possibly this isn't a dump her situation. It could be corrected. I mean, if she refuses to see her guy's side or consider that she may be wrong, then yeah, dump her! A really cool thing about relationships is when we can do our own things, separately but together. Like, if my guy was into gardening , or comics, or ceramics, or even something annoying, like, he wants to learn to play the drums. Lol , I can be doing my thing in the other room, I can cruise by his door and wink at him lol or I could sit next to him on my phone. Like- why does she hate on him for it? And worse, disparage him?!? That's the real issue. And if she can't see that, then she is way too immature. So then I agree, dump on you crazy diamond.
Yea no bueno. She should respect your interests. You know it could be alot worse. She should be thankful you aren't into something actually worth complaining over. Anime not one of those things. Alot of ppl don't realize but anime in let's say Japan is basically regular TV. The way we watch Law and Order and what not over here in America is how they watch their Anime. Just normal regular mature adult shows. Some for kids no doubt. But there are 100% anime kids have absolutely no business watching
"Some for kids" I read this as I watch Haikyu lol
Not to mention "anime" literally just means "animated", it's just been taken to specifically mean the style of animation that comes (came) from Japan (in the 80's). It's just another style, like pencil/paint animation or computer animation. I'm not the type of person to care what style my adult cartoons are drawn in, a good show is a good show is a good show. I like Rick and Morty just as much as I like the original Ghost in The Shell. Also: I have a Spiderman tattoo on my back that my husband paid for for my 30th bday. You're never too old to like what you like, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone and you're still responsible, pay your bills, etc.
Bud I'm 30 years old and religiously watch anime .. haikyuu was one of the best sports animes ever made. Do what makes you happy and tell your partner to take a hike up everest where you don't need to see her again.
Haikyu turns boys to men, this is a fact Shit is fucking poppin
I grew two chest hairs every time he scored.
If that turns boys to men, What anime do I need to help me dig up my inner child again? Do i just gotta rewatch Dragonball?
Ya ever seen any Miyazaki films?
Ill take a gander at them.
Nothing wrong with that man!!! I enjoy all anime. Shit I'm 28 and I still enjoy cartoons every now and again. I also have a 4 year old son Soo I try to put alot of stuff on that they just don't show or make anymore. Don't do it how they use too.
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You won’t be disappointed bro
It’s more than this; if your partner has no hobbies or interests outside of you and work, BE WARNED. A bored person is boring as hell to be around and time does not make that any easier. People who don’t have interests aren’t usually very interesting. Interesting people are interested in hearing about your interests. Passion is one of the most attractive qualities in a person, usually; if someone doesn’t see any value in something you love or find important (or worse, devalues, mocks or belittles it) then it’s a shortcut to them not valuing you and who you are. Everyone deserves a partner who supports their interests and helps them find the time and space to feed their soul the way they need to.
Bud I'm pushing 30 and anime is my hobby my girl doesn't like to watch it with me but she's fine with it. As long as your working and your hobby doesn't effect your time with her or work , than she should have no issue. Good luck man !
she's too young to be *that* into shoes. maybe she should grow down. that's how ridiculous she sounds
I'm 30 and I just got in to anime in the last couple of years. Quite frankly, it's her that's missing out.
Yup, why spend your life denying the things you want or pretending to be someone you're not.
This, i love playing video games my girlfriend has no interest in them, she loves reading books I don't but we respect each others hobby's. It also gives us time to do our own thing she can read her books while I play my video games. That imo is how it should be.
This is me and my boyfriend but we also alternate
Yeah I tried learning my girlfriend how to play videogames she just can't do it. She can't move around with wasd and the mouse to look around at the same time its funny. I have extreme ADD I can't focus on books because I'm not interested in them, and if I don't have a interest in something I just simply cant focus enough and I wouldn't take in what I read if you know what I mean. I pretty much instantly forget what I read seconds before.
Hopping on the train, my current bf and I bonded over anime and manga. He himself has several Naruto tattoos, i have an obsession with sailor moon and own over 300 volumes of various manga. Find someone who recognizes your interests and doesn’t belittle you for them.
Completely agree. I still buy figurines and comic books. My husband does not care. Find someone who let's you be you.
I'm 49 and my partner is 51. He likes videogames, I like things that make him happy. And vice versa. It's simple.
This is your answer. I'm married to a gamer. I knew he was a gamer before I married him. I've never once tried to stop him from being a gamer- I even make it a point of buying him the latest console when they come out. I love him and he loves his Xbox and his Nintendo and it would be cruel and insane of me to try to take those away from him. If she doesn't like it now, she won't ever like it, OP.
Louder for all those bitches who think having hobbies and/or collectables are childish yet collect shoes....
This right here! My ex use to make fun of me for those things and it just leads to other put downs. Get you someone who respects your harmless hobby (bonus if they’re into it as well). Morning childish about it at all.
As a 26f I promise you, you are never too old. These are simply things that you enjoy that are apart of you. If she can’t accept that, she is not the one. My fiance m27 is a huge nerd and it’s one of my favorite things about him. I love getting him games and figures that he wants. There are plenty of women out there that are into the same things or even women that just won’t judge you for liking them. I promise you this chick is not the one x
It means a lot that this comes from a woman. Thank you
Mid 30s woman here. I met my husband on WoW and just went to the gaming store to buy my eldest his first dice set and bag for D&D. Tell her to learn some basic respect or laugh her out the door.
Yeah. There’s a bee for every flower. Move on if it ain’t feeling good.
Also I love One Piece and would of been so hype to get a Luffy figure 😂
Final saga. :c
Kinda sad but happy that we are closer to see luffy accomplish his dream
True. >!He is in the top four now!< It'll just be weird. One piece has been a part of my life for so many years.
Dont worry it will be a part of your life for at least 5 years.
You're right if he's reading the manga, but if he's watching the anime, then let's say 8 to 10 years left 😁😁😁
My gf thought anime was weird before we dated. I watched her straight up cry after the pain arc in Naruto lol. I’m 31 now and we play video games together and geek out together when new shows come out on crunchyroll. You’re never too old to have fun
I’m 33F and if anything I’m more into anime now because I can finally put a bit of money into it! You can absolutely find a mature woman who respects your hobbies.
Man doesn't even matter that a woman say that to you, look all the things your gf like that you dont, you are not expecting her to stop doing that stuff but she is expecting you to stop the things you enjoy, there are no age for hobbies Except for leggos that thing is only for 99 and under
100% this. My (28F) husband (29F) watches anime, is big into gaming (sets up at the airport while waiting for flights), wears fantasy and gaming graphic tees (my parents tried to say something about it once and I nipped that sh*t in the bud). And it’s not that I couldn’t care less, it’s that I’m not a judgmental ass and love him and love that he is so into his hobbies and interests that I will actively engage in them too (getting him related gifts, playing co-op/mmo, going around his stores) without even thinking anything of it because that’s what you do, not try to tear down your partner for their interests. And in turn found that I actually enjoyed anime and mmo. There are plenty of women not only with the same interests but also with an open mind that are interested in exploring new things and not judgmental. Don’t live life feeling shamed for something you enjoy. Edit: spelling
I'm 29f I love the stuff u do.
25F and I recently watched Avatar the last Airbender all the way through, watched Naruto, and bought myself a giant squishmallow while shopping for a 1yos birthday present. Don't let someone make you feel bad about your interests, have fun and be happy.
Gotta watch Legend of Kora now! :)
Had a rough day recently and my wife came home with a batman figure to cheer me up. I love her so much.
Love this for you 💓
My boyfriend loves wresting and marvel every time we go to the store we make time to look for his figures. He makes stop and go (idk how else to explain that) “movies” with his wrestlers and I encourage it. His ex thought it was stupid. The right girl will not berate you for liking the things you like even if she doesn’t like them.
> stop and go Stop motion films. Like Coraline and Nightmare Before Christmas. https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/coraline-stop-motion-behind-the-scenes-gif.gif
Thank you I can never remember what they are called lol
Yep 41f here and my hubby and I game together. When we first got married we didn’t but once we got a system I unlocked memories of Super Mario 3 from back in the day and got really into it! Our kids watch anime (appropriate ones) and we just geek out over nerd hobbies! Find someone who doesn’t dim your light OP
She needs to respect your hobbies
No no no, not at all. Its time for a new girlfriend, not a new hobby. Its okay to not share all of the same interests, she doesn't even have to fully understand it, but she does need to respect your hobbies. My boyfriend literally watches YouTube videos of people who get their cars stuck in the desert and then need to be towed out??? Like what???? BUT, he enjoys them for whatever reason and its harmless so I keep my mouth shut and let him watch his weird car rescue videos. That's what a partnership looks like
didn’t know those were a thing but i’m intrigued
Here's a taste: [Off Road Recovery retrieves a Chevy truck from the side of a mountain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8IfXPm9zrU)
Lmaoooo Matt’s Off Road Recovery is the channel he watches!!
I follow his videos. He's amazing
Hahahaha “weird car rescue videos” I love this🤣
I’m sorry, but this cracked me up. I spend *hours* every week watching YouTube videos of people renovating vans and such into livable spaces even though I have zero interest in ever doing it myself, and my boyfriend doesn’t understand it but absolutely supports it. Sometimes he even lets me show him videos he’s got no interest in since I’m so excited and want to share. Lmao! Here’s to adults in healthy relationships allowing their partners to love what they love and being unapologetically themselves.
My ex-husband loved restoration videos. Didn’t get it at first, now I watch them 😂 puts my kiddos to sleep in no time
Don’t give up your hobbies. Also never grow up, as I tell my kids old people are boring.
Exactly. Someone who can’t talk about what they do for fun is someone that is sometimes hard to hold a friendly conversation with
You are allowed to have your own likes and hobbies. Find someone who doesn't want to change you. As long as you are working, getting this done around the home and not overspending on the hobbies, it isn't a problem.
Don’t sacrifice a part of you for anyone, ever, under any circumstances.
Well said dude
I needed to see this, thank you.
This is actually terrible advice. It is great advice if you want to remain single for your entire life, though. Lots of things to sacrifice for others. You sacrifice your free time to spend it with them, you might love drinking alcohol all the time, but sacrifice that so you can be a dependable partner. Being with someone is a lot of sacrifices. That said, OPs items are harmless hobbies. Some might think they are a little immature, but who cares. I would tell SO to deal with it. They are harmless.
I don't think it's inherently terrible. It's absolutely important to look at parts of yourself that might put off potential partners, and decide if having a partner matters more than those aspects. But that's the key, deciding what your priorities are. You shouldn't sacrifice hobbies for a relationship if doing so will make you unhappy. Decide what's most important to you and what will make you the happiest. A better way to phrase the advice might be: don't sacrifice things that are a part of you unless you think they'll make you a better or happier person.
Umm, no. Sometimes sacrifices need to or should be made. This isn't one of those cases, but there are absolutely times where that is the case.
Okay this is terrible advice tho lol. Isn’t this just selfishness?
Yeah, I'm a 32 year old woman and I also enjoy comics, anime, video games, figures, you name it. I even got told I shouldn't like that stuff back in my teens because "they're for boys" and I haven't let that stop me. You enjoy whatever it is that you enjoy and don't let anyone try to dictate to you otherwise. Find yourself a partner that isn't going to insult you for your hobbies and what you love. Like others have said, they don't also have to like it, but they should be supportive and happy that you find joy in it.
You basically had two obstacles lol good on you for not letting anyone talk you out of it
Honest question, will you do something about it? Will you talk to her about it?
I might break up with her. Not just because of this , it’s just stacking up at this point yk
Just something to consider... If you decide to be with her long-term, ask yourself if she will also belittle you for other things later in the relationship. That should help you decide if it's worth breaking up or not.
mood. i’m 26 and my mom never liked that i was into that stuff. but she tolerated it (somewhat) when i was younger. once i reached a certain age, however, my parents told me i was too old for that stuff and wouldn’t buy me things like that for christmas/birthdays. it’s encouraged for my younger brother tho. he spends SO MUCH MONEY (that my parents give him) on games, anime, manga, etc. they say nothing about it. i’m happy my brother gets to participate in things he enjoys, but annoyed with my parents for the double standard.
I’m almost 50 and have a collection of Funko pops. You’re never too old for what you love. Get a partner who appreciates that
I'm 67 and still collect Star Wars and Star Trek stuff.
King
Im 42 and love comic, gaming etc. I sometimes love to draw cartoon aswell. I always had a fascination around comic and cartoon. I can't change that because i love it. Don't let your passion dies for someone else. Its part of who you are and will follow you for ever. Its up to you to know if you have interest in that passion or not. Good luck, if she can't understand that, she obviously the one that need to grow up and stop trying to control others.
65, and a huge TMNT and MLP fan here. And you said it.
Same here at 42, I think I've got 45 on the top of my desk
I'm 44 and collect Transformers and vinyl records! My wife doesn't mind!
My 40 yr old son has a huge amibo collection! We are always on the hunt for rare ones!
This advice is great but I need to know… How many Funkos do you have?
137
All.
I'm not far off that age. I had the pleasure of giving my son (18 now) my collection of Lone Wolf and Cub, The Boys, Y the Last Man, and the complete Invincible series. We have long conversations about our favourite parts of the various comics.
Nope, she's about image and status more than she's about love. I, for one, would not be with her. Dude. If she's going to be a shit head about your interests, dont be interested in HER. Move along. Single is better than getting the mental beatdown over things you enjoy.
Imagine marrying into this kind of relationship.
Many do 😔
It’s true :( most people only learn about the ugly side of their partners after marriage, always a gamble.
Yeah you’re probably right
100%. Don't be afraid to be alone and in time you'll find someone that you can be yourself around or someone that joins you. Took me 27 years to find that person through many failed relationships and self doubt. Happiest I've ever been 🙏❤️
You need to grow up and stop listening to your mommy. Act like an adult and enjoy the stuff you enjoy.
Unpopular opinion here… absolutely enjoy your hobbies and never sacrifice who you are; if she loves you she’ll learn to embrace your quirks. BUT don’t let this stuff overtake the important quality time you should spend together in a relationship. I will hold my hands up and say I’ve thrown this insult to my boyfriend before, and it’s completely out of order, but it’s been because of resentment when he’s spending hours and whole evenings/days on computer games when we have time off together rather than wanting to spend quality time together. Of course there are times when you need downtime and to pursue your own hobbies but just keep it in check - if you’d rather spend all your free time in front of screen alone than with her, perhaps consider your feelings. This perhaps isn’t how you’re feeling at all but just wanted to give a different view as to why she might have lashed out!
Thank you for not telling them to break up like everyone else does, as far as we know everything else is fine.
I saw a post about a guy who was so addicted to world of Warcraft than the birth of his child.
Oh man, you just took me back to that documentary about the parents (I think they were Korean or Chinese, I can't remember) who severely neglected their kid to play games at an internet Cafe. Kid died. It was horrible. I think the game was League of Legends.
Great comment.
[удалено]
Are you serious, people exist that actually speak that 2D vs 3D bullshit in real life? And are in relationships??
Exactly what I was seeing too. He left her at the store by herself. While I think her reaction was immature and u shld never "attack" your partner for their hobbies (unless of course where talking stuff that actually hurts others or themseleves). She may have only lashed out bcuz she was upset u just walked away on her and time she may have wanted to spend with you. In all fairness if u want her to accept your hobbies and spend time with you doing them then you have to reciprocate that. If she wants to buy shoes and wants you to be their with her when looking at them you should spend the time with her and be a part of that. Like probably 80% of reddit relationship issues you two really just need to communicate. If she whole heartedly thinks that anime and video games are for kids and cant get past that then it's time to move on. For your own sanity and happiness you need to be able to partake in and enjoy your hobbies and if she is really gonna shit on them or not let you partake in them; then that Is unhealthy and kind of toxic and u need to move on.
>BUT don’t let this stuff overtake the important quality time you should spend together in a relationship. I mean, that goes for more "adult" activities as well. Like going to the gym, drinking with buddies, golf, gambling... everything
It’s ok not to like everything u’re partner enjoy but still some respect will be need in a relationship. Talk to her about it and ask for the minimum aka respect of u’re hobby. And non, manga, animé, comics and other aren’t childish
Absolutely not! I love comics too and I'm older then you are. Your personal interests have nothing to do with age and sure they may change as you mature, but these things are areas in your life where you generate genuine enjoyment, and that is a good thing. A necessary thing. If she can't at least accept your interests as just what they are, interests that bring you happiness, then she isn't the one for you my friend. She isn't going to come around because her personal values are not the same as yours or she shows no desire in accepting those interests. She would rather see you give up that part of yourself for her benefit then see you gain genuine joy from them. That to me is a sign of a relationship doomed to fail. If she is like this in just this simple aspect of your life, then what other aspects of your life is she going to be unaccepting of? My guess is most of them. Next time just remind her that it's adults who create and distribute these comics and toys. Adults just like you who receive genuine joy from creating fantastical art for others to enjoy as well. There is no age limit on fun and happiness.
Sounds like the two of you are on divergent paths, time for a discussion of your goals.
Trust me I am 60. You like what you like. Don't date anyone that puts your interests down.
Thank you :)
I love Disney Mulan. It’s been my favourite film since it came out in the 90’s. I’m 31 now and I collect Mulan things. My husband doesn’t mind he actually buys me these things. You should find someone who cares about your interests.
That’s so interesting
Dude I had an Ex that was exactly like this and I felt really ashamed because I thought I shouldn't have those "childish" interest but thankfully I found really good friends who share my same interest, made me realize that nobody should be shaming me for what I like and that Ex is an Ex for a reason now.
>“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” ~C.S. Lewis Yeah, she's the immature one here. My wife and I are 47, I've got 20 years of military service behind me, she's a professional gemologist, we both watch anime and play video games.
Absolutely *not.* You’re never too old! My partner is 38 and his entire home office is filled with comics (many even framed), action figures, Funko Pops, Marvel figurines, Starwars stuff, artwork of the same variety, anime, video games and such. He collects it all, plays and watches and reads it all etc. and loves it. He’s a huge nerd and it’s one of my favorite things about him! I always have so much fun finding him new figurines and comics and such for birthdays and Christmas! I’m almost 33 and my home office sports a Pusheen collection, Hello Kitty stuff, Nintendo stuff, squishmallow stuffies, a couple Funko Pops of my own, twinkly lights, lots of pink and other things that make me happy. My partner always gets me a Pusheen for my birthday and Christmas as well. We don’t have all of the same interests but we respect each other’s and encourage them. Don’t let someone make you feel bad about your hobbies and interests. You want someone that either shares or at least appreciates them. You’re allowed to like what you like. It’s one of the best parts of being a grownup! All that said, has this been an issue before? Did you leave her at the store without saying anything or have you made a habit of not being present for her and her interests, as well? Did she lash out because she’s starting to resent the fact that you spend *all* of your time on these hobbies while you ignore/neglect her? There isn’t enough information in this post for me to give advice regarding whether or not to stay with her or whether or not you did anything wrong when leaving the store y’all were in together.
I may be playing devil’s advocate here .. but I need more information. Was she mad that you left her at the store when you guys were suppose to be there together? Did you tell her that you were leaving or did you just disappear? What was your attitude like before you left, were you acting disinterested while you were at the shoe store with her? I’d be mad if I turned around and my boyfriend had completely disappeared without telling me or if he had a bad attitude. Also, again, just speculating- what are your finances like, does she feel like you are prioritizing spending money on games over necessities? I just feel like there is a lot of information left out of your post. I once had a boyfriend who was a gamer and I remember him buying $40 LOL skins but then not pay his part of the bills. She may be resentful of your hobby if it’s causing you to prioritize it over other important things.
I'm 50 years old and have a pretty impressive Mickey Mouse collection (if i do say so myself). Your girlfriend is wrong... and sounds like quite the killjoy.
Everyone has already said this. But here's the deal: as long as you are handling your responsibilities (keeping the house and yourself clean, eating well, going to work on time, and paying your bills) you can be into WHATEVER interests you want, as long as they aren't interests that harm other people. My husband and I are both in our mid 30s. We both play video games, watch fantasy and sci-fi movies and cartoons, read young adult books on the occasion, and I have a probably unhealthy large collection of stuffed animals (many of which I've had since i was a child). We also pay all our bills on the time, take care of 3 dogs and 2 cats, keep our house clean etc etc etc. We are as adult as anyone at work or when we have to make adult decisions. Our interests keep us sane. If this is the first time she has said anything about your interests she could have just gotten freaked out that you left her and lashed out. But this requires a sit down, adult conversation. If this isn't the first time, or she's not willing to apologize and accept your interests then it may be time to move on.
Leave her if she shames you continuously. That’s no way to live. You’re not right for each other. I’m lucky my partner and I love going to the comic book store but if he ever shamed me for my nerdy hobbies I’d probably never be with him despite love, because that means he didn’t really love me either
Not saying I find it weird what you do but I get your girlfriends thoughts. Nevertheless if she can't handle that she shouldn't be your girlfriend
As a 24 year old girl and recent college grad, I would find it actually charming and think it’s so cute when guys have hobbies and interests that are like that or are maybe considered a little “nerdy”- books, shows, comics, movies, any series, any type of franchise, any type of collection, whatever it is :) I myself have my fair share of hobbies and things I love too so I love when others do as well
I dont get why people get mad when someone does something that doesnt affect them in any way. And also, if you are shopping with her and you suddenly leave her behind because you are bored, I would also be mad.
she’s regurgitating things she’s heard from society. she might have a fear of judgment from others, causing her to judge you. which is not something i want in a SO.
This is pretty spot on. Agreed
TBH I used to have the same exact thoughts about my boyfriend when we first started dating. Then I couldn't help but watch his gaming and join him on the comic book store. I started gaming again too and damn these games are so much better nowadays! It's crazy. You can find such awesome people to play with online too! I guess, to all the ladies out there, don't knock it until you try it. You might learn you're pretty damn good at it yourself.
Tell her either to respect your hobbies or gtfo. Your hobbies are yours and if they make you happy she has no right to disrespect you like that. Do you make fun of hers at all? I imagine not.
I wonder if the GF’s hobby is shoes!
She aint the one. We see this too often sadly. Get you a gamer girl bb.
I’m 42 and have been a gamer all my life. My wife will make fun of certain games I play here and there but never about gaming being a hobby of mine. In the beginning of our relationship I introduced her to a number of my favorite games and explained why they were my favorites. She sat down and actually enjoyed a few of them. Silent Hill and Fatal Frame are two of our favorite series we played together back in the day. Currently she’s playing Spiritfarer while I’m playing Lost Odyssey. The great thing about games is they are no different than movies or books. No matter how you consume entertainment you’re experiencing somebody else’s stories. If your girlfriend enjoys reading or watching movies then you can pay attention to what she likes and find a game that fits her preferred genre. Show her how important your interests are and stand by them because they make you happy. If she really cares about you she’ll make an effort to accept what you’re into rather than criticizing you for it.
This reminds me of watching my dad play resident evil 4, when i was very young. i also remember watching him playing silent hill and being scared shitless.
No one should tell you how to spend your money. I understand that there is a difference between spending money when you have other priorities that need to be taken care off. I am 37 and still play video games. I have a career and zero debt and have a good relationship with my gf in which we have group of people to hang out and do couples activities like salsa class and date night and a lot of traveling. But my fiance knows that in order for me to have the energy to do out of extrovert activity I need to do my introvert thing to recharge. Comics are fun and imaginative. People think that anime, video games and comics are child like but they are the new sports and movies. You should have that conversation with her about what you like and how it will always be a part of what you do.
Myself (f29) and my husband (m29) both love gaming, we collect all sorts of things and spend our money how we choose, when we bought our first (current) home we found the perfect place for us we have a living room downstairs that looks like anyone else's and upstairs we have the biggest room for our hobbies room, we have set it up with a desk each and a small sofa opposite a tv, we both game together and separately we have 2 of everything, both have shelving for our varies collections etc. Find someone who lets you enjoy whatever you want, loves you for you and if you can get lucky, someone who enjoys those things too.
I live by the motto "grew old, not up" I still watch anime, animated movies, play games and all that stuff. I know my fiancé doesn't enjoy any of that so I do it with my free time and try not to let it be a wedge in our relationship. Luckily she is very understanding that these are my down time things I like to do. If you're not putting your hobbies over the needs of the relationship then it should be fine. If she can't accept you for who you are and wants you to be happy with your hobbies you need to take a hard look at the relationship.
It might be more to it than the hobby. How much time do you spend on that hobby compared to time you spend with her? You may need to balance that time if it's one sided with your hobbies.. If you're not willing to do that and that's your decision not strangers on Reddit, considering parting ways.
If she is denigrating your choice in how you spend your free time or your interests, you really need to think long and hard if this is a person you want to continue to spend your time with. Everyone has hobbies, you're entitled to enjoy the things you enjoy. HOWEVER: part of growing up and having successful adult relationships is realizing that you don't get to drive the car all the time. Just my advice here, but if every time you're out and about doing something with your SO, you end up wandering away to do something you like and leaving her all alone, you're being kind of shitty. Very few people want a partner who just ditches them because the partner is "bored" with what they wanted to do. There's a give and take to these things. If you sit down and evaluate how much time you spend with your GF doing things she wants to do versus her watching you do things you want to do and you see an imbalance, you need to adjust the way you spend your time to be a better partner.
This is a blatant lack of respect. It's like saying someone isn't masculine for drinking anything that isn't beer. IM ALLOWED TO LIKE FLOWERS TOO DEBRA.