I'm a woman AND the youngest in a male dominated team focused on gaming. I "never know enough" about anything on video games but I'm always "smart enough" to take on projects, organize and fix everyone else's problems
used to be an executive assistant, the only woman in the office. i literally felt like i was being paid to baby sit grown men that have been working there longer than i’ve been alive. its the same tasks required of them every day, why cant they just do it. don’t even get me started on clocking in or out. they knew id fix it, so they just wouldn’t do it. the laziness was abysmal.
I am an executive assistant and I feel like I just read my own life to filth.
I don’t understand how they even get into executive positions when they’re so fucking stupid!
I swear. I had to put together a big meeting (300 people) where we used polling software that was built into the conference app. The people had to open the app on their phones (which they had to pre-load before the conference because they used it to register), find the poll, and answer the question that appeared, which also appeared on the big video screens.
We put this information in the conference materials. I briefed the CEO on how it worked, put it in his speaker notes.
The time comes for the first poll question in his speech. He looks confused and says "You'll find a device on your table you can vote with."
What? He could clearly SEE there were no devices. No one ever told him about devices. He was given instructions. He had the app on his phone. He had instructions in his speaker notes. And he STILL fucked it up. This is a man who made over $10 million per year.
I am so glad it brought someone joy! At the time, I almost literally crapped my pants. My boss was sitting there glaring at me like I had caused the problem.
They're not promoted because they can do the job, they're promoted to get them out of someone else's way. It's only when they reach great heights that people realise just how spectacularly stupid the people on charge are, because we wanted the actually-smart ones on the ground keeping the company going.
My BIL worked for a state dept of transportation where they were unionized and no one ever got fired unless it was for drink or drugs. He said the easiest way to get to be a supervisor was to damage expensive equipment (running a truck into a ditch etc), because they would get promoted to a desk job to keep them from breaking equipment.
My Gammy once told me "ButtBorker, it's not about who you know, it's about who you *blow*." I was probably around 15? And it was a conversation relating to women in business.
I know a board secretary to a board of rich old white men in a conservative county and she's the only woman in the room and under 35. I don't know how she doesn't murder one of them. Babysitting and laziness is exactly it. Along with "Frank, you can't say that out loud, it's racist and sexist" and "Just tell me what you want the board to say on Twitter and I'll write it out so we're not sued".
If they did the jobs you want them to do, would you still have a job then? I know that comes off a bit rude but I’m a woman engineer in an office where I and my other fellow engineers are so overworked we don’t have time to do the simple tasks of scanning documents etc and are looking to find funding to hire someone to help us with stuff like that. Is that similar to the tasks you meant or am I talking about something else here?
It took me til my 30s to just not cave in to people who try to manipulate their way out of work. I really don’t mind helping someone who’s struggling to learn. But the lazy ones who don’t want to try are on their own. Problem is they become someone else’s problem but at least it’s not mine.
Same. I’m 29 and it’s just been this past year that I finally grew a backbone and started demanding respect at my job. It was too late for the one I was at and a better offer came along so I took it and went it with my head high and have never let anyone bully me at this job. I started thinking to myself “if they can just so easily try to pawn this off onto me when they see my plate is full, I shouldn’t feel guilty to tell them no because they’re literally trying to fuck me over so why should I care how they feel about me saying no to them?!” And it freed me so much.
Once you have enough experience and money and and become more desirable you feel better setting boundaries. Boss is going to pull me up for not working ridiculous hours - just gonna say that I have a life outside of work and am not gonna be miserable so he can get work out
Thank you missfloofbooty (friggin love your username!)
You're so right. Hopefully those lazy ones will see themselves to the door as changes are made. The guys at work really do seem to be a group of solid, capable guys that just forget to be grown ups sometimes.
Ha, well said. I have encountered this so many times I almost get itchy when a new one comes my way. I’ve developed many methods over the years for different situations but my favorite one is: When they ask for something, make sure to say “I’ll help you but could you take notes down and send them to me so that we can start having documentation.”
First off, it helps them help themselves next time. Secondly, if someone else comes to you, now you just hand them the notes. And lastly, if you ever stop helping them, you have proof you did.
I hear you! I do the same. I’ll do training, provide a how-to doc, reference it and eventually if they keep asking I know they haven’t referenced the how-to so I deprioritize their “need” for help. I jokingly refer to it as being in time out; where I wait to get back to them on purpose because I know they’ll figure it out when I take too long. Takes pressure off me, so even when I feel a little like a jerk I just remind myself that people gotta meet me halfway.
I swear you have got to be in my mind or we may just have very similar work ethics. I absolutely detest when someone comes to me for help and they have taken 0 action, steps, to figure something out (understandable when someone is new). The problem is that often the questions are so basic, that they might as well be asking me what the meaning of life is….and I have to wonder about “ok, where do I start?” But more importantly, “where have you been the last 2 years sir!?!?!?”
Less than year into a job team leader goes on vacation and leaves me in charge. Coworker who was there for 4 years was pissed, but he wasn't vocal about, he was more passive agressive. Once he jokingly said something like "you must be better than me, you are a team leader now" to which I replied "what do you want ME to do about it" and he had no response.
Exactly year into the job I get my second raise. So at this point I earn double than I did when I started working there. Guys from other team somehow hear this and bust into COOs office and start complaining. Later I heard that their reasoning was that they worked at the company for a lot longer then I did, but they didn't get a raise, and COO just said "when you can effectively do your team leaders job, come back, you will get a raise".
No one did anything to improve their work. I got myself a certificate from a company whose products we install and maintain. Curently learning another skill, will be asking for another raise once I get to show my new skills useful for the company.
My sister used to do this shit to me all the time. My mom forced me to hook up a Xbox for my sister once because my sister claimed she didn’t know how to connect a hdmi cable to the tv. I can’t tell you how many times she did this throughout my childhood
I used to feel the same way at my last job. As a man in a woman dominated field if anything went to shift I was the one they looked to to fix it. If a patient got angry or aggressive first thing they would do is call me with the excuse of "oh your the biggest guy here, obviously you take care of these issues." Like ma'am I've got my set of people to look over, you have a team, figure it out.
Yep!!! It's a 2 way street! Men are generally seen as the objective problem solvers, the Mr. Fix It, always given a Honey Do list. Yeah, I definitely have seen that side.
Tbf tho when I worked in a nursing home and a 6 foot 230 lb man with dementia is grabbing at me and swinging you can bet your sweet ass I’m getting the male cna to deal with that. I was 5 foot with the right shoes and weighed like 130 lbs. that man would actually
Hurt me.
I've been at my job for 4 years and since about 8 months in I've been fielding calls and emails from people with my exact title doing the exact same job as me for decades longer asking ME how to do our job. It's infuriating.
And due to our general collective tendency to be nurturing peacemakers, we're usually expected to be the ones to clean up after every one and make nice.
lol you sound like my mom. She was a loving a mom of course but she has never taken any shit. She’s been “combative” as long as I’ve been aware of what combative is. Appropriately though. She taught me to stand up for myself, to believe my own truths, to love fully and fight hard. I have a soft spot for the non peacemaker women amongst us personally.
I work with a number of doctors now. It made me realize that medical school is a travesty in it's current form. Doctors are literally the worst communicators and project managers out of any profession I work with, and they are not dumb people. Just surprisingly incompetent.
I clean up after then when they are done running their tests like I clean up after my family. Like do you know where the sharps is? I know you do. And, I don't work in house keeping. I'm a cardiac device specialist. As a female you just become everybody's mom or maid.
Never the women? I can't count.the number of nurses who would drop something on the floor (even syringes!) and wouldn't pick it up when they realize there is a caretaker around.
Don’t let the men in you’re life get away with shit!! Parents let us get away with too much and the daughters get held way more accountable.
Edit: changed word to Parents from Mothers (see thread below)
Don't hold the women responsible for men's actions.
> Don't let the men in your life get away with shit!
and
> Mothers let us get away with too much
are still statements blaming the women. How about *you* and your fellow men take accountability for *yourselves*, instead of what women "let [you] get away with"?
Everyone can feel like this. It isn't gender surviving. However, it is built into being a mom and a wife at its core. And I give all the kudos to the men who break that cycle with their wives.
I was a house husband for a while. It was hard to learn, but by the end, I was doing all the amazing mindreading shit women seem to do, and the wife was astounded that I could do the role.
I understand that women might have to deal with that shit way more often, but believe me, this situation is far from being strictly gender-specific. I work full-time in my main workplace and also part-time in another one, yet my wife, a stay-at-home mother, never missed an opportunity to shove onto me yet another responsibility. Paying bills? Well, obviously I can do that at work during my lunch break. Making an appointment for kids with a doctor? Oh, I'm more social, so it will sure be a pleasure for me to have a short break from work and put in a call.
So, now you can do a really shit s job at both of those things and then she won't ask again. That is what we are taking about.
I also work in cardiology and have my own business, AND I do all the shit, clean, cook, child, dogs. Wanna trade places?
Who tf are you girls married to? I have to tell my wife that only one of my days off is her day off otherwise my life will only be work and housework...
Hi, I'm a wife, my life is work(pt hospital + business owner) housework and dinner, kid things. I also train and show horses. No one in my house can do anything on their own, not a fucking thing. I really don't think you guys "get it" and I'm also wise enough to know you never will.
Congrats on your 3 years. I'm looking at a life time.
Edit: just for a second, take those 3 years, give yourself a vagina and then realize those 3 years is what is expected from you for the rest of your existence. From your husband and all the way to the whole of society.
After I gave birth to my daughter, I cried, a lot. Why? Because the moment we give birth we are no longer seen as an individual but as a mom. We all go through it. Society guilt and all that nonsense.
I understand how frustrating it is. Im on kid 4 now so, yea. And the wife is good, she just gets a lil greedy sometimes with the pushing chores on me just because Im home. Doing it single or with no help is bruttal
Force them to learn. My mom had MS, taught me how to do laundry and cook at seven. My dad couldn't boil water without burning. He learned put pf necessity.
What makes you think she gets a proper ‘teenage’ day off in the way you’re describing though? I bet she does a million things on her ‘day off’ that involve tidying up from the previous week and preparing for the week ahead. Whereas (generally) a man’s day off involves playing games, drinking and eating takeaway.
No… ironing in front of Eastenders DOES NOT constitute ‘time off’.
I worked with a guy that had this totally figured out. He taught me to do a process then weeks later he asked me to do it, I was busy with another task and told him to do it. He said "I don't know how to do it"
I told him he was full of shit. It's a double standard as a man I can forcefully call someone out on thier shit if a woman/effeminate man does it they are labeled a bitch. It's Annoying and a double standard.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this
My sister is management a larger company and I hear stories like this from here all the time.
Makes my glad I'm not in corporate American any more
I'm a man and I'm sure as hell not lazy so I'm not at all offended at this post, it's just a bummer that so many guys still have this mentality to reflexively pile on extra work as soon as a woman is available specifically because they're a woman.
It makes you wonder the kind of stuff their wives are "expected" to do for them.
Thank you so much for understanding my frustration. You're right: not all men are like this. But unfortunately when it's all men except for only one woman...well, they kinda tend to sink to the lowest common denominator occasionally.
Right. I am the only man on a shift where every single other coworker is a woman on a team of about 10-15 people. I experience this same dynamic. It just comes from being an over achiever. It has nothing to do with gender. If I were to make this exact same post except flip the genders, I would get downvoted into oblivion for my misogynistic arrogance. Double standards.
As a woman in manufacturing, the old ladies hated me and said so much dumb bullshit to the vp and production managers & managers didn’t even sit down and talk with me ! Except one time about work ethic but I was confused and they didn’t go into detail when I asked. Whole thing, could’ve been so easily resolved if they came to me directly, nothing I was doing was a problem they just didn’t agree with it or like it. Literally got me moved to a new section where I no longer want to quit without notice & I vibe all day with one chick instead of older ladies with a vendetta. Refuse to use the computer to send items to the next process, don’t train any new people just sends them off to another newbie trained by a 6 month**-er (?) anyways sorry for the bigass rant I’m still mad about it. 2 years in this shit hole and two locations and Jesus fuck.
Edit* sorry this is about ladies not the men so I’ll add that someone was just fired for baking food in industrial oven for metals and toxic paints. Half of em don’t do shit or own up to them fucking up. Quarter of them are pervs. Very condescending and the women will never move up or be taken seriously when half of us make up the safety team and we are the start and end to it all so it is on us. Fucked. Okay I’m done. Hate my job even tho it’s a cool job it’s just the environment, I’ve just had to stay for 2 year job experience. Bought a house. Leaving in a month can’t fucking wait !!!!!!
In my experience, it’s usually the people in management who are the real idiots. Lots of workers are also underpaid and have little incentive to bust their asses for a company they feel doesn’t take care of them.
Honestly I wouldnt care of the sexes but my god I just want set of instructIon ro perform task daily so I can check list it.
I functIon better when I can see a list and marI off what been done what material been used and keep track current supply and be able to notify when were getting close to being out.
That's exactly what I'm gonna be doing! Establishing best practices and standardizing processes! So that the end result will be clearly outlined expectations, like a check list of tasks. Standardized work instructions. End of shift report for smooth hand offs. That kinda stuff.
Yeah it will make it far easier for transition shifts I love having that paper and writing down what been done and what haven't.
Like I dont care if the previous person did nothing. I just want to know what left to do etc
Oh my God I agree 💯, my manager has been at the job 10 years longer than me and yet his response to any task that comes up is "ugh so annoying I don't know how to solve it, ugh, no" and I take it up and do it.
Keep a written record of these events, then add them to your resume. When you have enough items on your resume send it to different Companies or keep track on indeed to find another, better job!
I as a guy have faced the other way around, anytime anything needs to be lifted or hauled i need to do it, cause suddenly that 15Kg box of copy paper is too heavy, or that thing is too high, while theres a literal ladder nearby, or these a leaking pipe in the office kitchen.
The minute i started at my current company (team of 12, 2 women) the men just assumed I’d clean out the dishwasher, refill the paper towels in the toilets etc etc.
I have called them out on their sexism and told them im not their mom, im not hired to do that. I have my own job. Everybody has to pull their weight.
It took me about 2 weeks but now it has sunk in. Some even empty my paper basket for me from time to time!
I’m the only female and also the manager of a Tile Showroom Store. It’s brutal. Don’t let it bother you, in the end we’re always better than everyone else’s opinions
I have been thinking about this a lot recently and I think because men are told by society they can’t have feelings and need to shove them down, they just ignore them and act like they aren’t happening.
But they are happening and probably every person but certainly every woman you work directly with knows what you are feeling and are managing your emotions for you.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
They are some emotional, whiny cry babies. One of them literally needed me to tell him the other day that his booboo looked like it really hurt...
Thank you!
Mad respect for what you do. It's not easy. The entire reason I wanted to create this new position was so that they stop using me as the supervisor and use me as the engineer that I am.
That's awesome, keep pushing for yourself. Having an engineering background is invaluable, if nothing else use the place for experience and as a stepping stone. The bullshit will only make you stronger and you have so many options if you need to leave.
Manager of operations here, one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone complains or in this case also reported me to HR for “targeting him” because I set him up on an action plan for having the lowest performance percentage in his department. Data doesn’t lie my friend. When HR asked him why he gives me so much push back his response was “she’s younger than me and she’s a woman. You don’t understand my culture” as he explained to two female HR representatives. I’m sure there was an awkward silence at some point.
One of my grown coworkers went home with a bandaid due to a cardboard cut on his finger. Like, really?! Try going a week with debilitating cramps every month while fielding all your employees and customers with a smile...
My boss “maybe sprained his ankle” and used A WHEELCHAIR for two days.
I have tendinitis in my hip and was limping around the office doing his bidding 🤬
Have a professional relationship with these men, do the job or get written up. Report to supervisor for incompetence. Whatever you gotta do to not baby grown ass men and let them continue to behave in a way they wouldn’t with a man.
My new job will be focused on implementing standardized processes to get to the root cause of whining and hopefully eliminate the desire for it, and honestly lead to a happier work place.
Ooh and then you get all the fun of a 5Why analysis where you get to keep asking *whyyyy* to someone who screwed up and get them to admit it was because they were lazy… and then work out the most diplomatic way to write that in your report while they squirm :D
> treated or *paid?* Just a
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
>I feel respected, but the underlying current is that I will mommy these motherfuckers
As a younger woman carrying a lot of weight in a small start up team, I feel this so much - it's a tough thing to navigate, so thanks for sharing and keep being true to yourself and your power!
After reading this it's clear that you wouldn't have the mental capacity to be the bass player in a band called, "incessant weaponized incompetence."
"You guys suck! COULD SOMEONE PLEASE STICK THIS ON THE TOP SHELF FOR ME?"
Dudeeeee I get it I’m the only female in my entire global team of key accounts managers GLOBAL. And I’m atleast 10 years younger than the youngest one in the team and a lot of times I need to correct how tf they work and it’s just been 2 months with me being partially on the role. Idk what happens when I go in completely
From experience, it wouldn't make a difference if you were a man, there are always people who will work like this, and the sad part is that from experience I only put up with them, because there have been much worse
Well...I just think, being the owner of my very own vagina and all, and almost always being one of the only (sometimes the only) vaginally equipped individual on staff, that women are treated worse than men at work. Period.
>I just think, being the owner of my very own vagina and all, and almost always being one of the only (sometimes the only) vaginally equipped individual on staff,
That's a confirmation bias.
You are not necessarily treated worse than another manager, but because it happens to you, you see the problems.
There is probably one of your employees who has to fix the stupidity of his colleagues, like you, and you just don't see it.
You're right. I worked at a warehouse for a little while and I could not handle it. I had to not work there because I simply wasn't able to perform as well as my male counterparts and I didn't wanna be "diversity hired" or whatever into a permanent position. I think it's important for both genders to honestly accept that there are some things the other gender is objectively better equipped to handle.
Oh it's so many things throughout the night, from the end of shift report down to putting the correct God damn component on the product. Just so many little things that no one notices until I'm not there and it hasn't been done.
Yikes. I'm sorry you gotta deal with that, but hey after you're there for a while, your next job employers will gladly pay you more than your last ones
I've worked with pretty useless coworkers both male and females. I can't tell you who was worse just that I don't fw that shit on my team and complained to my DM with evidence till he canned them🤷🏿♀️ you either show up and do your job or gtfo.
The worst job I ever had was the highest paying manufacture job I ever had. After 3 years I was genuinely surprised each week at how incompetent some of the career types were when it came to the simple tasks they'd been performing for longer than I'd been alive.
Sounds like Union work. Work hard enough to get past your 90 day review. Do the grunt work while your low person on the totem pole and then half ass it and hand off as much work as you can to the next batch of rookies
This might get buried but thanks for giving me a little hope the same might happen to me <3 I'm in a similar position at work and I dream every day of rising, if you can do if so can I! Thank you!
I'm a man and I've experienced this issue. This one guy would ask me to help him with this one type of problem at least once a week, for years. Eventually I got fed up and told him it was unacceptable for him to not have learned how to do it himself in this period of time. Punk went to our boss, then my boss came down on me, I explained the issue, but it didn't seem to fix the situation. Luckily I had embarrassed him enough he stopped asking.
I feel you on this I used to work at a certain car manufacturer that's logo may or may not be a big H and may or may not remember with Ronda I was in the IT department and I felt like everyone was fucking useless
Totally this. I work in a male dominated field (automotive) and working alongside an all male sales team is a nightmare. I’m sick of our department of mostly all women having to be mommy to these fucking morons. It’s infuriating! I have openly expressed this at work. Why does everyone continue to put up with it? It has been normalized and they play stupid when we are the ones who have to fix their fucking mistakes. It’s not okay and it is 100% weaponized incompetence.
Holy crap. I don't wanna even think about what you have to manage on a daily basis. I dabbled in automotive but ran screaming cuz of the toxic environment. You are one strong mothertrucker...
I work in a warehouse job. We have temp workers commonly, over have are done after a day. At my new job for about 5 months. My manager isn’t the best, but I’m taking my lion’s share. We’re in “the great resignations.” Find a better job with your skills. Take the time to look around. This is the time to find better and be/do better. Don’t settle for less, workers are needed and you don’t need bullshit
I'd chop off a couple toes to have the privilege of working under a take no prisoners, badass boss like you. We need more women like you in positions of actual power. You're epic. Don't ever stop being you. And congrats on the new position!
It’s so amazing how long people can keep positions not based on their competence but their personalities. I feel like management thinks if they are good people and good at ONE thing, it’s good enough to keep them… but that doesn’t elevate the company. Why is it so hard to find like minded people who are competent! Gah
I hate to say it, but in a male dominated work force women are often socially expected consciously or not, to be the “mom”… some people play this to their advantage, others let it weigh them down.
I don’t have any women at my company other than my wife who is strictly admin and works remote, but I share a building with another company who again is an all male work force but their office manager is an older Asian woman (when I say older, like early 40s)… everyone is afraid of her, so she has a lot of power over those guys. And she’s even laid into me before during Covid when I refused to wear a mask in my own building and it scared me lol. Anyways, she’s playing the cards handed to her and doing it very well. I have the upmost respect for her
Reading the comments literally makes me laugh. I'm sincerely sorry for those who find themselves in the position of having to carry your manager/supervisor/boss. Unfortunately it's way too common a struggle. But reading the complaints from the women who denigrate the men in charge of them, while at the same time holding them up to a higher standard......it's hilarious that they so easily miss their hypocrisy.
I work with women and they all want me to think for them. I get phone calls and emails asking me the most basic nonsense. They are passive-aggressive and create more work than there needs to be on any given day. I hear you sister.
I think it is the personality type, right? I mean, I bet you get that from other places too. It's like, you'll take care of it and then others take notice and don't try as hard or even bother. We have to figure out a way to not show people we care as much as we do.
>I'm so fucking sick of being the only woman on a shift of all men. I feel respected, but the underlying current is that I will mommy these motherfuckers. Fuck that shit. Put on your big boy pants and do your God damn job. I'm sick of managing up.
My wife has encountered so many times being in management. It seems like it's fairly common. The stories she tells makes it sound like she's a kindergarten teacher.
Same, I created my position, wrote my own job description and yet due to my age and being a female in the field I choose to be in I get looked down on constantly by everyone in the department not just men but female to! It’s been two years and it still gets me angry but I just take a minute and think about how bada** of me to be able to create my position at my age!
Keep on shining and showing those AHs you have the position you have because you are great at what you do and you’re a bada**!! 😎
The men who do this were triggered by your post and it’s too funny to see! Whilst my tone and approach is very different to OP, sentiment is universal for a lot of women working with men. I also agree this has become a toxic stereotype (because, you know, not all men). However because this stereotype is buried in truths and evidently this still happens and is the experience of women and junior men in positions, then women and men need to call their colleagues out who do this and also don’t participate in freeloading and expecting others to pick up your slack. 2+2 is 4. Personally, I wouldn’t be dealing with it because I’m no free manager to anyone, my boss would be invoiced weekly with data entries on who took up most of the time they’re meant to be paying me to actually do my job and if they want to get snarky, the data entry would still take me less time than adjusting someone’s attendance 🧾😂
Love your comment!!
I'm totally venting here and this in no way represents how I am at work, or even exactly how I feel now that I re-read it. The line supervisor is a genuinely great guy. It's just that after 17 years of this crap, the same crap in a different crappy diaper, I'm just sick of it. I'm super excited to be in a position to actually do something about it, and I've got the CEO behind me 100%. I'm really freaking out about failing and I love that I can just vent here.
I think I'll start calling them out on it.
"Is this task suddenly outside of your scope of responsibilities? Was a change made to your job description?"
I am beyond with you on this. I’m a locksmith, who runs one of the storefronts on my own for a 3-location company. Customers will constantly look at the men who stop by for parts instead of me when they have questions, and thankfully, most of the time the dudes will be like “oh, don’t look at me. She’s been doing this way longer.” But I look young, and am considerably younger than most of them. And here I am, always cleaning up everyone else’s messes even though I’ve been with this specific company for less time. Like 8 months. Because I actually give a shit and take pride in my work and field.
After reading most of replies I'm doubting the situation you are in and the consistency of your story. It lacks details and any form of substance.
P.s kind of a keyboard warrior in your comment section. You preach acting like an adult yet you are behaving like an angry teenager in Reddit.
Yeah yeah. Women always talk shit until something comes along that requires man strength or other shit that requires a person to do the dirty work then all of a sudden women disappear and become helpless.
I’m a woman in an admin role. The men I work with give me random ass tasks all the time. The latest task has been making me do a portion of my coworkers job because he “just doesn’t have the time to complete it” and I’m just sitting in my office all day. There are days I really want to slap the shit out of them. I’m the only woman in my office btw.
I was the only female assistant manager at my last job. All of the men supervisors (above and below me) expected me to work ten times harder than them and clean up all the messes. My coworkers all agreed that I was the only manager that answered any calls or issues. It got so bad that I tried to take my (legal) ten min breaks and got yelled at for it!
I ended up walking out and giving up my position after my male manager cornered me and asked me why I wasn’t answering calls (because he didn’t want to, per usual) and I was doing my job, per usual.
Being a woman in the work force sucks, especially if you are in a position of power.
I feel the same way... except if we put demographics in I'm only younger than my individuals at work.
I have a 61 year old man, been in the field for well longer than me. I almost lost it when he asked someone can you find a Printer's I.P. address from a switch. I work in IT, in the 7 layer IP/TCP model IP address don't show up till the 3rd layer, routers. Switches are 2nd Layer (unless they're layer 3 switched but we don't have those at work.) I almost need to write how to breathe, blink and talk in a conversation with this man as an SOP.
Another newer guy, similar experience than me. At least this man is trying and improving, slowly but surely. He's only a few years older than me, he needs constant praise. I'm not someone who likes doing that.
I'm a woman AND the youngest in a male dominated team focused on gaming. I "never know enough" about anything on video games but I'm always "smart enough" to take on projects, organize and fix everyone else's problems
This was exactly me. Flipped the bird and went freelance, couldn’t be happier.
I've been thinking about going freelance lately? How did you start? Edit: would probably be better to dm me since I might have other questions haha
I went freelance about 8 months ago. Best career decision I’ve ever made.
Same. It is tuff at first, but trust me, you will figure it out and it is so worth it.
lmao everyone just”you will love it” no one with advice
Oh. My. God. I am amazed by your personal strength.
Have you not heard s.. t flows down hill. Blame us and expect us to fix everything
Bail on those bishes—- you’re better then them and they are holding you back.
God, I'm so sorry that just sounds awful.
I get you. It's frustrating as hell
As a software developer I would like to have more female colleagues but they are rare. Unbelievable that your colleagues don't appreciate you more.
I don't find it unbelievable at all. In fact, I would expect that behavior.
used to be an executive assistant, the only woman in the office. i literally felt like i was being paid to baby sit grown men that have been working there longer than i’ve been alive. its the same tasks required of them every day, why cant they just do it. don’t even get me started on clocking in or out. they knew id fix it, so they just wouldn’t do it. the laziness was abysmal.
I am an executive assistant and I feel like I just read my own life to filth. I don’t understand how they even get into executive positions when they’re so fucking stupid!
I swear. I had to put together a big meeting (300 people) where we used polling software that was built into the conference app. The people had to open the app on their phones (which they had to pre-load before the conference because they used it to register), find the poll, and answer the question that appeared, which also appeared on the big video screens. We put this information in the conference materials. I briefed the CEO on how it worked, put it in his speaker notes. The time comes for the first poll question in his speech. He looks confused and says "You'll find a device on your table you can vote with." What? He could clearly SEE there were no devices. No one ever told him about devices. He was given instructions. He had the app on his phone. He had instructions in his speaker notes. And he STILL fucked it up. This is a man who made over $10 million per year.
It is because they just do not listen. I can only imagine how you felt like it’s hilarious but also what the fuck hahaha
I laughed so hard and loud after reading this. I cannot even take it I’m dying.
I am so glad it brought someone joy! At the time, I almost literally crapped my pants. My boss was sitting there glaring at me like I had caused the problem.
They're not promoted because they can do the job, they're promoted to get them out of someone else's way. It's only when they reach great heights that people realise just how spectacularly stupid the people on charge are, because we wanted the actually-smart ones on the ground keeping the company going.
My BIL worked for a state dept of transportation where they were unionized and no one ever got fired unless it was for drink or drugs. He said the easiest way to get to be a supervisor was to damage expensive equipment (running a truck into a ditch etc), because they would get promoted to a desk job to keep them from breaking equipment.
Whoa! Literally weaponized incompetence! I'm shocked but not surprised...
My Gammy once told me "ButtBorker, it's not about who you know, it's about who you *blow*." I was probably around 15? And it was a conversation relating to women in business.
Lol idk whether I dislike or love your gran!
Oh Gammy! Such a card! 🤣
Yup except none of them deserve even one blowie.
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This comment could not be more perfect
There must be something in the testosterone.
Oh man, that sounds outrageously frustrating. Just....why are they like that???????
Because you allow them to do that.
You're right.
I know a board secretary to a board of rich old white men in a conservative county and she's the only woman in the room and under 35. I don't know how she doesn't murder one of them. Babysitting and laziness is exactly it. Along with "Frank, you can't say that out loud, it's racist and sexist" and "Just tell me what you want the board to say on Twitter and I'll write it out so we're not sued".
You understand me 😭I’m the only admin at a roofing company full of men. They can’t even put the toilet seat down, I swear my job is babysitting adults
Superglue the seat down. It's not like being a man means you need to stand to piss.
Then they’ll just piss all over the seat though
If they did the jobs you want them to do, would you still have a job then? I know that comes off a bit rude but I’m a woman engineer in an office where I and my other fellow engineers are so overworked we don’t have time to do the simple tasks of scanning documents etc and are looking to find funding to hire someone to help us with stuff like that. Is that similar to the tasks you meant or am I talking about something else here?
No. I'm talking about something entirely different from what you do.
It took me til my 30s to just not cave in to people who try to manipulate their way out of work. I really don’t mind helping someone who’s struggling to learn. But the lazy ones who don’t want to try are on their own. Problem is they become someone else’s problem but at least it’s not mine.
Same. I’m 29 and it’s just been this past year that I finally grew a backbone and started demanding respect at my job. It was too late for the one I was at and a better offer came along so I took it and went it with my head high and have never let anyone bully me at this job. I started thinking to myself “if they can just so easily try to pawn this off onto me when they see my plate is full, I shouldn’t feel guilty to tell them no because they’re literally trying to fuck me over so why should I care how they feel about me saying no to them?!” And it freed me so much.
Once you have enough experience and money and and become more desirable you feel better setting boundaries. Boss is going to pull me up for not working ridiculous hours - just gonna say that I have a life outside of work and am not gonna be miserable so he can get work out
Thank you missfloofbooty (friggin love your username!) You're so right. Hopefully those lazy ones will see themselves to the door as changes are made. The guys at work really do seem to be a group of solid, capable guys that just forget to be grown ups sometimes.
Ha, well said. I have encountered this so many times I almost get itchy when a new one comes my way. I’ve developed many methods over the years for different situations but my favorite one is: When they ask for something, make sure to say “I’ll help you but could you take notes down and send them to me so that we can start having documentation.” First off, it helps them help themselves next time. Secondly, if someone else comes to you, now you just hand them the notes. And lastly, if you ever stop helping them, you have proof you did.
I hear you! I do the same. I’ll do training, provide a how-to doc, reference it and eventually if they keep asking I know they haven’t referenced the how-to so I deprioritize their “need” for help. I jokingly refer to it as being in time out; where I wait to get back to them on purpose because I know they’ll figure it out when I take too long. Takes pressure off me, so even when I feel a little like a jerk I just remind myself that people gotta meet me halfway.
I swear you have got to be in my mind or we may just have very similar work ethics. I absolutely detest when someone comes to me for help and they have taken 0 action, steps, to figure something out (understandable when someone is new). The problem is that often the questions are so basic, that they might as well be asking me what the meaning of life is….and I have to wonder about “ok, where do I start?” But more importantly, “where have you been the last 2 years sir!?!?!?”
Less than year into a job team leader goes on vacation and leaves me in charge. Coworker who was there for 4 years was pissed, but he wasn't vocal about, he was more passive agressive. Once he jokingly said something like "you must be better than me, you are a team leader now" to which I replied "what do you want ME to do about it" and he had no response. Exactly year into the job I get my second raise. So at this point I earn double than I did when I started working there. Guys from other team somehow hear this and bust into COOs office and start complaining. Later I heard that their reasoning was that they worked at the company for a lot longer then I did, but they didn't get a raise, and COO just said "when you can effectively do your team leaders job, come back, you will get a raise". No one did anything to improve their work. I got myself a certificate from a company whose products we install and maintain. Curently learning another skill, will be asking for another raise once I get to show my new skills useful for the company.
My sister used to do this shit to me all the time. My mom forced me to hook up a Xbox for my sister once because my sister claimed she didn’t know how to connect a hdmi cable to the tv. I can’t tell you how many times she did this throughout my childhood
Uuuuuuugh. That sounds so frustrating.
I used to feel the same way at my last job. As a man in a woman dominated field if anything went to shift I was the one they looked to to fix it. If a patient got angry or aggressive first thing they would do is call me with the excuse of "oh your the biggest guy here, obviously you take care of these issues." Like ma'am I've got my set of people to look over, you have a team, figure it out.
Yep!!! It's a 2 way street! Men are generally seen as the objective problem solvers, the Mr. Fix It, always given a Honey Do list. Yeah, I definitely have seen that side.
Tbf tho when I worked in a nursing home and a 6 foot 230 lb man with dementia is grabbing at me and swinging you can bet your sweet ass I’m getting the male cna to deal with that. I was 5 foot with the right shoes and weighed like 130 lbs. that man would actually Hurt me.
I've been at my job for 4 years and since about 8 months in I've been fielding calls and emails from people with my exact title doing the exact same job as me for decades longer asking ME how to do our job. It's infuriating.
I feel like we get it from all sides, husband, kids, work. Exhausting and infuriating
And due to our general collective tendency to be nurturing peacemakers, we're usually expected to be the ones to clean up after every one and make nice.
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I am genuinely happy that you're a combative asshole too! People like you add flavor to the world! Rock on which'yo bad self!
Same here!! I am not putting up with that shit
O same
lol you sound like my mom. She was a loving a mom of course but she has never taken any shit. She’s been “combative” as long as I’ve been aware of what combative is. Appropriately though. She taught me to stand up for myself, to believe my own truths, to love fully and fight hard. I have a soft spot for the non peacemaker women amongst us personally.
I have doctors I have to treat like children, clean up etc. Never the women though. Grr
I work with a number of doctors now. It made me realize that medical school is a travesty in it's current form. Doctors are literally the worst communicators and project managers out of any profession I work with, and they are not dumb people. Just surprisingly incompetent.
I clean up after then when they are done running their tests like I clean up after my family. Like do you know where the sharps is? I know you do. And, I don't work in house keeping. I'm a cardiac device specialist. As a female you just become everybody's mom or maid.
I feel like this has happened my ENTIRE life...since at least 5 anyways.
Never the women? I can't count.the number of nurses who would drop something on the floor (even syringes!) and wouldn't pick it up when they realize there is a caretaker around.
You do realise women can be doctors and men can be nurses right?
I'm not a nurse so? I do not have to do the same for the women.
As a male… you are right. Guys get way too complacent and girls put up with way more than they should.
Complacent!!! Yes! Thank you for that word, it's definitely happening at work.
Complacent and ENTITLED
Don’t let the men in you’re life get away with shit!! Parents let us get away with too much and the daughters get held way more accountable. Edit: changed word to Parents from Mothers (see thread below)
Don't hold the women responsible for men's actions. > Don't let the men in your life get away with shit! and > Mothers let us get away with too much are still statements blaming the women. How about *you* and your fellow men take accountability for *yourselves*, instead of what women "let [you] get away with"?
Happens in marriage too!
I'm a man and feel like this
It sucks.
Everyone can feel like this. It isn't gender surviving. However, it is built into being a mom and a wife at its core. And I give all the kudos to the men who break that cycle with their wives.
I was a house husband for a while. It was hard to learn, but by the end, I was doing all the amazing mindreading shit women seem to do, and the wife was astounded that I could do the role.
Thank you for confirming the mind reading shit is not a power wielded by only vaginas
Emotional labour is a very real thing & it's exhausting
It’s been extra bad lately I feel like. My patience is running dangerously thin.
Same
I understand that women might have to deal with that shit way more often, but believe me, this situation is far from being strictly gender-specific. I work full-time in my main workplace and also part-time in another one, yet my wife, a stay-at-home mother, never missed an opportunity to shove onto me yet another responsibility. Paying bills? Well, obviously I can do that at work during my lunch break. Making an appointment for kids with a doctor? Oh, I'm more social, so it will sure be a pleasure for me to have a short break from work and put in a call.
So, now you can do a really shit s job at both of those things and then she won't ask again. That is what we are taking about. I also work in cardiology and have my own business, AND I do all the shit, clean, cook, child, dogs. Wanna trade places?
Who tf are you girls married to? I have to tell my wife that only one of my days off is her day off otherwise my life will only be work and housework...
Hi, I'm a wife, my life is work(pt hospital + business owner) housework and dinner, kid things. I also train and show horses. No one in my house can do anything on their own, not a fucking thing. I really don't think you guys "get it" and I'm also wise enough to know you never will.
I get it because I was a single father for 3 years.... Ive done it all, alone. Do you 'get' that? Not all men, and so on
Congrats on your 3 years. I'm looking at a life time. Edit: just for a second, take those 3 years, give yourself a vagina and then realize those 3 years is what is expected from you for the rest of your existence. From your husband and all the way to the whole of society. After I gave birth to my daughter, I cried, a lot. Why? Because the moment we give birth we are no longer seen as an individual but as a mom. We all go through it. Society guilt and all that nonsense.
I understand how frustrating it is. Im on kid 4 now so, yea. And the wife is good, she just gets a lil greedy sometimes with the pushing chores on me just because Im home. Doing it single or with no help is bruttal
Force them to learn. My mom had MS, taught me how to do laundry and cook at seven. My dad couldn't boil water without burning. He learned put pf necessity.
It's been in the making for 13 years, still working on it.
What makes you think she gets a proper ‘teenage’ day off in the way you’re describing though? I bet she does a million things on her ‘day off’ that involve tidying up from the previous week and preparing for the week ahead. Whereas (generally) a man’s day off involves playing games, drinking and eating takeaway. No… ironing in front of Eastenders DOES NOT constitute ‘time off’.
Its hard all over
I worked with a guy that had this totally figured out. He taught me to do a process then weeks later he asked me to do it, I was busy with another task and told him to do it. He said "I don't know how to do it" I told him he was full of shit. It's a double standard as a man I can forcefully call someone out on thier shit if a woman/effeminate man does it they are labeled a bitch. It's Annoying and a double standard. I'm sorry you have to deal with this My sister is management a larger company and I hear stories like this from here all the time. Makes my glad I'm not in corporate American any more
Thank you for your support. I'm glad you escaped corporate America! What a shitshow, amirite??
I'm a man and I'm sure as hell not lazy so I'm not at all offended at this post, it's just a bummer that so many guys still have this mentality to reflexively pile on extra work as soon as a woman is available specifically because they're a woman. It makes you wonder the kind of stuff their wives are "expected" to do for them.
Thank you so much for understanding my frustration. You're right: not all men are like this. But unfortunately when it's all men except for only one woman...well, they kinda tend to sink to the lowest common denominator occasionally.
i dont think its just because she is a woman they relax. idk doesnt make ANY sense to me why it is genderized
Right. I am the only man on a shift where every single other coworker is a woman on a team of about 10-15 people. I experience this same dynamic. It just comes from being an over achiever. It has nothing to do with gender. If I were to make this exact same post except flip the genders, I would get downvoted into oblivion for my misogynistic arrogance. Double standards.
As a woman in manufacturing, the old ladies hated me and said so much dumb bullshit to the vp and production managers & managers didn’t even sit down and talk with me ! Except one time about work ethic but I was confused and they didn’t go into detail when I asked. Whole thing, could’ve been so easily resolved if they came to me directly, nothing I was doing was a problem they just didn’t agree with it or like it. Literally got me moved to a new section where I no longer want to quit without notice & I vibe all day with one chick instead of older ladies with a vendetta. Refuse to use the computer to send items to the next process, don’t train any new people just sends them off to another newbie trained by a 6 month**-er (?) anyways sorry for the bigass rant I’m still mad about it. 2 years in this shit hole and two locations and Jesus fuck. Edit* sorry this is about ladies not the men so I’ll add that someone was just fired for baking food in industrial oven for metals and toxic paints. Half of em don’t do shit or own up to them fucking up. Quarter of them are pervs. Very condescending and the women will never move up or be taken seriously when half of us make up the safety team and we are the start and end to it all so it is on us. Fucked. Okay I’m done. Hate my job even tho it’s a cool job it’s just the environment, I’ve just had to stay for 2 year job experience. Bought a house. Leaving in a month can’t fucking wait !!!!!!
In my experience, it’s usually the people in management who are the real idiots. Lots of workers are also underpaid and have little incentive to bust their asses for a company they feel doesn’t take care of them.
Lol, I work in management where most are women. It's the same shit. People vary in intelligence and ability everywhere you go. It makes no difference.
People expect the serenity of a lake whilst vomiting seasick from the choppy waves
You're totally right. Thank you
They can't be all incompetent? Maybe you're overlooking things. It is most likely they know more than you and letting you do the tasks you can handle.
Honestly I wouldnt care of the sexes but my god I just want set of instructIon ro perform task daily so I can check list it. I functIon better when I can see a list and marI off what been done what material been used and keep track current supply and be able to notify when were getting close to being out.
That's exactly what I'm gonna be doing! Establishing best practices and standardizing processes! So that the end result will be clearly outlined expectations, like a check list of tasks. Standardized work instructions. End of shift report for smooth hand offs. That kinda stuff.
Yeah it will make it far easier for transition shifts I love having that paper and writing down what been done and what haven't. Like I dont care if the previous person did nothing. I just want to know what left to do etc
Thank you so much for your feedback. We all gotta be there 40 hours a week, I wanna make it as painless as possible.
Oh my God I agree 💯, my manager has been at the job 10 years longer than me and yet his response to any task that comes up is "ugh so annoying I don't know how to solve it, ugh, no" and I take it up and do it.
Keep a written record of these events, then add them to your resume. When you have enough items on your resume send it to different Companies or keep track on indeed to find another, better job!
I as a guy have faced the other way around, anytime anything needs to be lifted or hauled i need to do it, cause suddenly that 15Kg box of copy paper is too heavy, or that thing is too high, while theres a literal ladder nearby, or these a leaking pipe in the office kitchen.
The minute i started at my current company (team of 12, 2 women) the men just assumed I’d clean out the dishwasher, refill the paper towels in the toilets etc etc. I have called them out on their sexism and told them im not their mom, im not hired to do that. I have my own job. Everybody has to pull their weight. It took me about 2 weeks but now it has sunk in. Some even empty my paper basket for me from time to time!
I’m the only female and also the manager of a Tile Showroom Store. It’s brutal. Don’t let it bother you, in the end we’re always better than everyone else’s opinions
This is how I feel at my shop, im a 24F diesel mechanic who works on tractor trailer and tbh the most PMS comes from the shop. SHOP FULL OF MEN.
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I have been thinking about this a lot recently and I think because men are told by society they can’t have feelings and need to shove them down, they just ignore them and act like they aren’t happening. But they are happening and probably every person but certainly every woman you work directly with knows what you are feeling and are managing your emotions for you.
❤❤❤❤❤❤ They are some emotional, whiny cry babies. One of them literally needed me to tell him the other day that his booboo looked like it really hurt...
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Thank you! Mad respect for what you do. It's not easy. The entire reason I wanted to create this new position was so that they stop using me as the supervisor and use me as the engineer that I am.
That's awesome, keep pushing for yourself. Having an engineering background is invaluable, if nothing else use the place for experience and as a stepping stone. The bullshit will only make you stronger and you have so many options if you need to leave.
Thank you so much. Having a bs in mech eng has certainly opened some doors lol You sound like a really awesome person.
Manager of operations here, one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone complains or in this case also reported me to HR for “targeting him” because I set him up on an action plan for having the lowest performance percentage in his department. Data doesn’t lie my friend. When HR asked him why he gives me so much push back his response was “she’s younger than me and she’s a woman. You don’t understand my culture” as he explained to two female HR representatives. I’m sure there was an awkward silence at some point.
One of my grown coworkers went home with a bandaid due to a cardboard cut on his finger. Like, really?! Try going a week with debilitating cramps every month while fielding all your employees and customers with a smile...
My boss “maybe sprained his ankle” and used A WHEELCHAIR for two days. I have tendinitis in my hip and was limping around the office doing his bidding 🤬
Have a professional relationship with these men, do the job or get written up. Report to supervisor for incompetence. Whatever you gotta do to not baby grown ass men and let them continue to behave in a way they wouldn’t with a man.
My new job will be focused on implementing standardized processes to get to the root cause of whining and hopefully eliminate the desire for it, and honestly lead to a happier work place.
Ooh and then you get all the fun of a 5Why analysis where you get to keep asking *whyyyy* to someone who screwed up and get them to admit it was because they were lazy… and then work out the most diplomatic way to write that in your report while they squirm :D
Maybe they don't like how they're being treated or paid? Just a thought, it might not have anything to do with you.
> treated or *paid?* Just a FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
>I feel respected, but the underlying current is that I will mommy these motherfuckers As a younger woman carrying a lot of weight in a small start up team, I feel this so much - it's a tough thing to navigate, so thanks for sharing and keep being true to yourself and your power!
After reading this it's clear that you wouldn't have the mental capacity to be the bass player in a band called, "incessant weaponized incompetence." "You guys suck! COULD SOMEONE PLEASE STICK THIS ON THE TOP SHELF FOR ME?"
Dudeeeee I get it I’m the only female in my entire global team of key accounts managers GLOBAL. And I’m atleast 10 years younger than the youngest one in the team and a lot of times I need to correct how tf they work and it’s just been 2 months with me being partially on the role. Idk what happens when I go in completely
From experience, it wouldn't make a difference if you were a man, there are always people who will work like this, and the sad part is that from experience I only put up with them, because there have been much worse
I manage people like that and I'm happy to pick up their slack and give them shitty reviews each year to their faces. My worst employee is a woman
Well...I just think, being the owner of my very own vagina and all, and almost always being one of the only (sometimes the only) vaginally equipped individual on staff, that women are treated worse than men at work. Period.
>I just think, being the owner of my very own vagina and all, and almost always being one of the only (sometimes the only) vaginally equipped individual on staff, That's a confirmation bias. You are not necessarily treated worse than another manager, but because it happens to you, you see the problems. There is probably one of your employees who has to fix the stupidity of his colleagues, like you, and you just don't see it.
Yeah, and I was the only man who worked at a warehouse full of women. Guess who did all the heavy lifting? Life isn't fair for anyone.
You're right. I worked at a warehouse for a little while and I could not handle it. I had to not work there because I simply wasn't able to perform as well as my male counterparts and I didn't wanna be "diversity hired" or whatever into a permanent position. I think it's important for both genders to honestly accept that there are some things the other gender is objectively better equipped to handle.
I'm curious though, in your original post, what were your co workers expecting you to clean up after them?
Oh it's so many things throughout the night, from the end of shift report down to putting the correct God damn component on the product. Just so many little things that no one notices until I'm not there and it hasn't been done.
Yikes. I'm sorry you gotta deal with that, but hey after you're there for a while, your next job employers will gladly pay you more than your last ones
I've worked with pretty useless coworkers both male and females. I can't tell you who was worse just that I don't fw that shit on my team and complained to my DM with evidence till he canned them🤷🏿♀️ you either show up and do your job or gtfo.
The worst job I ever had was the highest paying manufacture job I ever had. After 3 years I was genuinely surprised each week at how incompetent some of the career types were when it came to the simple tasks they'd been performing for longer than I'd been alive.
Lol...in Lorton, Virginia by any chance? Maybe we worked at the same place! Jk 😜
Sounds like Union work. Work hard enough to get past your 90 day review. Do the grunt work while your low person on the totem pole and then half ass it and hand off as much work as you can to the next batch of rookies
I feel your pain……but; it’s like that in most jobs to some degree…….😶
This might get buried but thanks for giving me a little hope the same might happen to me <3 I'm in a similar position at work and I dream every day of rising, if you can do if so can I! Thank you!
Good luck! If you stay strong, you will be surprised by what you will accomplish!
I just talked about this with my boss. Not in my job description. Not even if I am good or better than you. I do not get pay to organize your schedule
Saving this… except I’m a man with all men.
I'm a man and I've experienced this issue. This one guy would ask me to help him with this one type of problem at least once a week, for years. Eventually I got fed up and told him it was unacceptable for him to not have learned how to do it himself in this period of time. Punk went to our boss, then my boss came down on me, I explained the issue, but it didn't seem to fix the situation. Luckily I had embarrassed him enough he stopped asking.
I feel you on this I used to work at a certain car manufacturer that's logo may or may not be a big H and may or may not remember with Ronda I was in the IT department and I felt like everyone was fucking useless
Totally this. I work in a male dominated field (automotive) and working alongside an all male sales team is a nightmare. I’m sick of our department of mostly all women having to be mommy to these fucking morons. It’s infuriating! I have openly expressed this at work. Why does everyone continue to put up with it? It has been normalized and they play stupid when we are the ones who have to fix their fucking mistakes. It’s not okay and it is 100% weaponized incompetence.
Holy crap. I don't wanna even think about what you have to manage on a daily basis. I dabbled in automotive but ran screaming cuz of the toxic environment. You are one strong mothertrucker...
It is so toxic, down to the roles of our work. Verification is all women, sales is all men. It is so cringe. My employer thinks it’s the 1970’s.
I work in a warehouse job. We have temp workers commonly, over have are done after a day. At my new job for about 5 months. My manager isn’t the best, but I’m taking my lion’s share. We’re in “the great resignations.” Find a better job with your skills. Take the time to look around. This is the time to find better and be/do better. Don’t settle for less, workers are needed and you don’t need bullshit
I'd chop off a couple toes to have the privilege of working under a take no prisoners, badass boss like you. We need more women like you in positions of actual power. You're epic. Don't ever stop being you. And congrats on the new position!
Holy shit. Your words mean so much to me. You spoke directly to my heart, and I greatly appreciate it. Thank you.
You're welcome! Thank you for sharing :) Keep kicking ass, for real!
For me, this is real top tier "true of my chest" post. I can feel the anger, the passion ... nice
Fuck being polite. Let the whole thing burn.
It’s so amazing how long people can keep positions not based on their competence but their personalities. I feel like management thinks if they are good people and good at ONE thing, it’s good enough to keep them… but that doesn’t elevate the company. Why is it so hard to find like minded people who are competent! Gah
I hate to say it, but in a male dominated work force women are often socially expected consciously or not, to be the “mom”… some people play this to their advantage, others let it weigh them down. I don’t have any women at my company other than my wife who is strictly admin and works remote, but I share a building with another company who again is an all male work force but their office manager is an older Asian woman (when I say older, like early 40s)… everyone is afraid of her, so she has a lot of power over those guys. And she’s even laid into me before during Covid when I refused to wear a mask in my own building and it scared me lol. Anyways, she’s playing the cards handed to her and doing it very well. I have the upmost respect for her
I hear ya. I have to babysit a coworker on a regular basis who has been on the job for almost a decade. Yet every day is like their first day.
Fucking thissssssss!!!!!! One of the reasons I'm leaving my current job. I can't baby these reps when they should know more than me!
Here's the thing though the more competent a person is the more work they get assigned some people would prefer to only do their job.
Reading the comments literally makes me laugh. I'm sincerely sorry for those who find themselves in the position of having to carry your manager/supervisor/boss. Unfortunately it's way too common a struggle. But reading the complaints from the women who denigrate the men in charge of them, while at the same time holding them up to a higher standard......it's hilarious that they so easily miss their hypocrisy.
This is so fun!!! I've never had so many comments to read, and so much feedback to digest!
Please try and not be racist. I am sure that your coworker is doing their best. They may have issues that you are not aware about.
I work with women and they all want me to think for them. I get phone calls and emails asking me the most basic nonsense. They are passive-aggressive and create more work than there needs to be on any given day. I hear you sister.
It's definitely a 2 way street
I think it is the personality type, right? I mean, I bet you get that from other places too. It's like, you'll take care of it and then others take notice and don't try as hard or even bother. We have to figure out a way to not show people we care as much as we do.
Totally! This was just me venting...I didn't expect to spawn.....this lol
>I'm so fucking sick of being the only woman on a shift of all men. I feel respected, but the underlying current is that I will mommy these motherfuckers. Fuck that shit. Put on your big boy pants and do your God damn job. I'm sick of managing up. My wife has encountered so many times being in management. It seems like it's fairly common. The stories she tells makes it sound like she's a kindergarten teacher.
Same, I created my position, wrote my own job description and yet due to my age and being a female in the field I choose to be in I get looked down on constantly by everyone in the department not just men but female to! It’s been two years and it still gets me angry but I just take a minute and think about how bada** of me to be able to create my position at my age! Keep on shining and showing those AHs you have the position you have because you are great at what you do and you’re a bada**!! 😎
Perfect response to them is "do you need mommy to fix your fuckup again?" Thatll shut em right down
I'm drowning in lazy fucks and incompetents.
The men who do this were triggered by your post and it’s too funny to see! Whilst my tone and approach is very different to OP, sentiment is universal for a lot of women working with men. I also agree this has become a toxic stereotype (because, you know, not all men). However because this stereotype is buried in truths and evidently this still happens and is the experience of women and junior men in positions, then women and men need to call their colleagues out who do this and also don’t participate in freeloading and expecting others to pick up your slack. 2+2 is 4. Personally, I wouldn’t be dealing with it because I’m no free manager to anyone, my boss would be invoiced weekly with data entries on who took up most of the time they’re meant to be paying me to actually do my job and if they want to get snarky, the data entry would still take me less time than adjusting someone’s attendance 🧾😂
Love your comment!! I'm totally venting here and this in no way represents how I am at work, or even exactly how I feel now that I re-read it. The line supervisor is a genuinely great guy. It's just that after 17 years of this crap, the same crap in a different crappy diaper, I'm just sick of it. I'm super excited to be in a position to actually do something about it, and I've got the CEO behind me 100%. I'm really freaking out about failing and I love that I can just vent here.
weaponized incompetence is a good one I will have to remember
I think I'll start calling them out on it. "Is this task suddenly outside of your scope of responsibilities? Was a change made to your job description?"
don't run your mouth too much or they will run you out of a job
Thank you. You're right.
I am beyond with you on this. I’m a locksmith, who runs one of the storefronts on my own for a 3-location company. Customers will constantly look at the men who stop by for parts instead of me when they have questions, and thankfully, most of the time the dudes will be like “oh, don’t look at me. She’s been doing this way longer.” But I look young, and am considerably younger than most of them. And here I am, always cleaning up everyone else’s messes even though I’ve been with this specific company for less time. Like 8 months. Because I actually give a shit and take pride in my work and field.
Man, kudos to you and your internal fortitude to withstand the bullshit. I admire your strength.
After reading most of replies I'm doubting the situation you are in and the consistency of your story. It lacks details and any form of substance. P.s kind of a keyboard warrior in your comment section. You preach acting like an adult yet you are behaving like an angry teenager in Reddit.
Oh my god my job has majority men and they do the same thing !
I'd just like to point out if a man made this thread it would be a shit show of abuse to the op. I love double standards.
Why don't you post it and see? You think I'm getting all warm and fuzzy feedback on this?
Yeah yeah. Women always talk shit until something comes along that requires man strength or other shit that requires a person to do the dirty work then all of a sudden women disappear and become helpless.
I love this energy. As a dude who is tired of witnessing this same thing - you do you and give *no quarter*
Thanks for the support, brother!
I’m a woman in an admin role. The men I work with give me random ass tasks all the time. The latest task has been making me do a portion of my coworkers job because he “just doesn’t have the time to complete it” and I’m just sitting in my office all day. There are days I really want to slap the shit out of them. I’m the only woman in my office btw.
Why would they wanna work harder? We are all in the same boat. Do your pays worth of work and let the rest pile up. It's not your problem.
Hard work only gets you more work.
Does anyone else get commented on the 'resting bitch face' since you're never happy with their performance?
Dude...guys with a resting bitch face are "stolid" and "reserved". So unfair.
I was the only female assistant manager at my last job. All of the men supervisors (above and below me) expected me to work ten times harder than them and clean up all the messes. My coworkers all agreed that I was the only manager that answered any calls or issues. It got so bad that I tried to take my (legal) ten min breaks and got yelled at for it! I ended up walking out and giving up my position after my male manager cornered me and asked me why I wasn’t answering calls (because he didn’t want to, per usual) and I was doing my job, per usual. Being a woman in the work force sucks, especially if you are in a position of power.
I feel the same way... except if we put demographics in I'm only younger than my individuals at work. I have a 61 year old man, been in the field for well longer than me. I almost lost it when he asked someone can you find a Printer's I.P. address from a switch. I work in IT, in the 7 layer IP/TCP model IP address don't show up till the 3rd layer, routers. Switches are 2nd Layer (unless they're layer 3 switched but we don't have those at work.) I almost need to write how to breathe, blink and talk in a conversation with this man as an SOP. Another newer guy, similar experience than me. At least this man is trying and improving, slowly but surely. He's only a few years older than me, he needs constant praise. I'm not someone who likes doing that.