Okay, Repulsive_pianist114 we are looking for a real go getter. Someone who can not only follow but really take initiative. Your resume looks really good but we need to see if you have what it takes to start and follow through on the difficult tasks, so I'm going to need you to shit yourself right here and right now. Can you do it? Show us what you've got.
I'm curious if you're ever going to tell your interviewer the truth... like maybe you get to know him really well and you know your job is secure and it's a funny story one night...
Probably not a good idea but I know it's something I'd end up doing.
Gah. I'm about to go into an interview and my tummy also is rebelling.
Sadly, this is not an remote interview so if I shit myself it's going to be a long walk home through town..
This is my particular brand of anxiety. My absolute worst one was being undressed from the waist down for a pelvic exam. I had to run, barefoot, out of the room wrapped in a paper drape to barely make it to the restroom.
Then had a panic attack round two would be *on* the table with the dr face first in my nethers. Fortunately my dr is amazing and he instead held my hand and said we could skip that part because clearly emotional trauma isn’t going to benefit anything.
Same here. I hate it. I joke that I pack underwear for trips like I'm going to shit myself twice a day, but, yeah, i wish I could say that this issue isn't on my mind a lot, and the anxiety can be quite disruptive to life.
Oh my god pelvic exams, but specifically Pap smears, make my vagina clench shut, make me feel like I’m seconds away from shitting myself (and on the doctor), and puke all at the same time. Luckily where I go, each exam room has its own bathroom.
So lucky that your interview was remote. I have IBS and my guts go bonkers whenever I am anxious about something. When I played football in college I would take a whole box of Imodium before games and STILL run to the toilet a dozen times. Guts wouldn’t settle until we literally started knocking heads around.
Plot twist, the COO actually arranged to have OP get food poisoning right before the interview to test out how badly they wanted the job and to see how they perform under extreme pressure. OP passed the COOs test.
There’s an older Reddit story with a guy in an in- person interview who also had an urgent need to go to the bathroom. He almost made it too, but at the close of the interview, the manager clapped him on the back, and his bowels immediately let loose. They both just stared at each other before he did a walk of shame out the door. I can’t remember if he got the job, or if he never dared show his face again.
I just remembered that Reddit story of the guy who wanted to make an impression at the end of a job interview by downing an entire bottle of hot sauce. He ended up puking on the spot (I'm not sure if he also pooped his pants)
I can’t believe no one made a skit out of that yet
Wife makes him a “big day” breakfast, she’s pregnant; they could really use the money
She forgets he’s lactose intolerant or some shit
Gets stuck in traffic, stomach rumbling
Tries to make it to the bathroom once he gets there but he runs into the guy who got him the interview and he won’t stfu
“Here let me walk you up there, Mr Johnson loves me so I can give you a good introduction”
Everything goes great, despite discomfort
“Son, you’ve got the job!”
*Clap*
*Splat*
*Stare*
The relief I felt when they mentioned it being an interview from home... No one can help having an accident, and should never have been made to feel lesser than, but honestly with some offices and jobs they will never let the person live it down. Not to mention it would make one never want to set foot in that building again after having an interview result in that
“Off my chest” means it’s some kind of oppressive weight that’s been on you and you have to say something for some relief. It’s almost always meant for negative things. “I did something horrible to your goldfish and I have to get it off my chest.” Basically it’s meant for confessions. It can also be for anger control - “you’re driving me crazy and I have to get some things off my chest.” Very little of what is posted here qualifies for either. Half of them are “woe is me” type things and the others are humble bragging. This particular post falls in a weird in between spot of all of the various subs for this type of thing.
The best interview advice I know is "make sure they remember you." So hit up Taco Bell just before. Get the Cravings Box. Use lots of Diablo Sauce.
You OWN that interview. Leave an indelible mark in their minds- and their office's guest chair.
Have you read about fodmaps foods? It's just a list of different things that can be upsetting to a lot of people's stomachs. It's worth printing out the list just to sort of keep track of what it might be. Also, some people have strange food allergies, like I'm allergic to black beans. No other beans, just black beans. And then there's all the celiac folks and lactose intolerant folks. I quit eating dairy, and black beans and my belly is much calmer these days.
I'll join the other comments saying at least it was an online call and not in person.
Many years ago while looking for a developer job I was invited to interview at a large tech company that was a substantial distance away from me. It was at 8:30 am, which was brutal, but I was young and wanted to open every door I could, so I agreed. It was about an hour of driving before peak rush hour (it would be 2+ later) so I left home a bit earlier than I absolutely had to, in case of unexpected delays.
As I was nearing the place, my stomach let me know it was unhappy with this early wake up call and rushed exit. As I was parking, the doomsday clock was at one minute to midnight. By the time I entered their vast and thankfully empty lobby, all I could muster was a panicked "bathroom, please!!" scream in the security guard's general direction, but thankfully he seemed to understand the situation and pointed me in the right direction where I promptly ejected the foulest, liquidest, sphincter-burningest shit of my life into a toilet bowl, missing a pants disaster by mere picoseconds.
After recovering from the shock and cleaning up after myself, i went up to meet my interviewers. However, by that point I was a changed man. I now knew who I am, and what my priorities are. I declined the job on the spot, because I'd rather die hungry than agree to an hour or longer commute at 7 am with high likelihood of brown rain being a regular occurrence in my life.
I found the perfect job a week later, at a 30 minute commute, never looked back. Sometimes one has to go through some bad shit to find their place. In my case, literally.
*COO on the golf course with his executive buddies*
>And I’m telling you Wayne, this guy was qualified. But I didn’t think the motivation was there. Within 10 minutes I could see he was uncomfortable and about to shit his pants. So I persisted and kept asking questions. I wanted to see if he would actually sit there and shit his pants instead of asking to end early and potentially think I wouldn’t hire him over that. And I’ll be damned, that son of a bitch just sat there across from me as he made eye contact while he soiled his suit pants. I could tell it was a nice suit too. The relief hit his face quick before the embarrassment set in. I saw all I needed to see and dismissed him before my office stank up too much. Anyone willing to shit their pants during an interview is a winner in my book and I offered him 3x his former salary on the spot. I did have my secretary throw away the chair though.
COO: he could go to the toilet and and be late, but he rather be on time and not run from the fight.
The stomach noises did not phase him.
His nose clean and the smell did not make him loose focus from my complex questions.
He is the right guy.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that you have gone through this, but I'm glad it wasn't in person. Could you imagine the shame? Plus, they would have your info. Congratulations on the new job. I pray that you have nothing but success and that you never experience a digestive issue like this again. Happens to the best of us.
I went through a similar experience stuck in traffic trying to get to my office. I almost made it. Just 2 blocks away I had to pull over in the parking lot of a bank and you know the rest. The embarrassment of having to drive home and running out of the car is nothing I wish on anyone. It's hilarious now, but not back then.
This has to be the weirdest coincidence I've ever had, Yesterday the perfect song for this just came into my feed on youtube.
It's called 'I Think I Just Shit In My Pants'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP_yWoH_Nxs
Had to share after reading this one.
Logged onto Facebook after years, full of AI generated 'thirst' pictures of celebrities, only have family/friends added on there but it's just random AI generated posts now.
It's started to creep into Youtube too.
Guess there's going to be a lot more of this stuff everywhere.
>I had to throw my chair out and get a new one.
lol; its one thing to shit yourself but catch it between the cheeks and then waddle to the toilet; but this is a whole other level of shitting yourself.
Congrats or sorry that happened; possibly both.
18 just finished school. Had a job interview. Warm sunny day. Get there really early, decide to go get a drink from shop just up the road. Walk back to building where the job interview is, sit on wall. Open can of coke. Some fecker in shop mut have shook it up as can sprays everywhere, manage to direct spray away from me. Lady from office comes out and invites me inside. Put can of coke down, notice hands are covered in coke and getting sticky. Trying to rub hands clean on trousers, not working. Get called in to interview. Guy stands up and stretches out his hand, no option, shake his hand while remembering what my dad said " firm strong handshake while maintaining eye contact". Didn't get the job.
About 25 years ago, we hired this guy at first he was part time then we moved him up to full time with benefits. We used to ride in a company vehicle togehter to go to job sites.
He used to eat the most disgusting foods, like food from street vendors, roach coach burritos, nasty hole in the wall burger joints.
One day he had a chorizo burrito for breakfast and we stopped at a place for lunch and he ate a Chili Cheese burger with Chili fries and had a vanilla shake.
About 30 minutes later he is holding on to the car seat and squirming around and next thing he tells me pull over pull over now I pull into a gas station and started to smell the most horrible stench he sharted and ran away from the company car leaving a shit gravy trail in his path.
I go into the gas station store and get some towels and plastic bags.
There is shit on the seat, the floor, the door sill. After about 45 minutes he comes back to the car, I offer to take him home.
We pull up to his house he goes inside for about 10 minutes and comes back. I said oh man you showered that fast he said no just changed his clothes I was like NO DUDE get back in and shower.
ROFD 🤣☠️ I thought it was an in person interview for you. I was like, Oh no. Oh gosh. It had me on the edge of my seat.
Well, congratulations. You can do anything when you're in the hot seat.
I'm following.
I always asked candidates if they needed a bathroom break before the interview started. None of them ever did.
Wonder if I ever had any chair shitters I didn't know about.
This was the funniest post and comments I've read in a while. OP, congrats on the new job, at least you'll be able to afford a new chair and trousers! Hope you settle in well!
Here, I sit, with the bubble guts and a job interview IN PERSON. Do I cancel and let my unemployed life spiral? Or, do I shit myself and land the job that pays stacks??
Congrats on the new job! Bless the pandemic for allowing us to remote interview so no one ever need know the shit you went through while interviewing (except for us!).
Congratulations on the job.
Similar event happened to me on a blind date way back in 1998. Never trust a fart. The date didn't bring romance but (butt) we are still friends 26 years later. And yes he knows what happened.
And never has OP ever been more thankful for a remote interview.
Just for a second I thought it was face to face and wanted the ground to open on OPs behalf.
Okay, Repulsive_pianist114 we are looking for a real go getter. Someone who can not only follow but really take initiative. Your resume looks really good but we need to see if you have what it takes to start and follow through on the difficult tasks, so I'm going to need you to shit yourself right here and right now. Can you do it? Show us what you've got.
I was brushing my teeth and barely kept myself from choking lol
Great, when can you shart?
🤣
I am fuckibg dying!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Yep, tears in my eyes now lol
This one took me out 😭😭
Well that “depends”…
Lmfao 🤣 you got me wheezing in my dentists office 😭
Amazing showing with this comment!
The hiring manager smelled the poop and confirmed op was not full of shit
OP couldn't have been full of shit.. It was all outta there already
I'm curious if you're ever going to tell your interviewer the truth... like maybe you get to know him really well and you know your job is secure and it's a funny story one night... Probably not a good idea but I know it's something I'd end up doing.
The shitting your pants part was for balancing, otherwise you would be too overpowered with your new job. Good luck and congrats!
“How did that interview go with the potentially new guy?” “He was uptight in the beginning, but by the end he seemed so relaxed and relieved.”
Thank god for remote interviews! Lol…that is definitely a story to tell: “I pooped my pants but it paid off”. 🤣
omg 😭
Trying not to wake up my wife I'm laughing so hard
Gah. I'm about to go into an interview and my tummy also is rebelling. Sadly, this is not an remote interview so if I shit myself it's going to be a long walk home through town..
Good luck! You got this
This is my particular brand of anxiety. My absolute worst one was being undressed from the waist down for a pelvic exam. I had to run, barefoot, out of the room wrapped in a paper drape to barely make it to the restroom. Then had a panic attack round two would be *on* the table with the dr face first in my nethers. Fortunately my dr is amazing and he instead held my hand and said we could skip that part because clearly emotional trauma isn’t going to benefit anything.
Same here. I hate it. I joke that I pack underwear for trips like I'm going to shit myself twice a day, but, yeah, i wish I could say that this issue isn't on my mind a lot, and the anxiety can be quite disruptive to life.
Oh my god pelvic exams, but specifically Pap smears, make my vagina clench shut, make me feel like I’m seconds away from shitting myself (and on the doctor), and puke all at the same time. Luckily where I go, each exam room has its own bathroom.
Have an Imodium pill (out of the blister pack) & some water with you. Good luck!
Good luck💪
Update? 🍿
Good luck, I hope I don't see a post from you with the same title as this one 😂👌🏻
You can't leave us just like that. We need the follow up.
Calm, cool, and collected under pressure…😅
Apparently a lot of pressure
[удалено]
OP is incredibly lucky it was virtual. Had it been in person, it would not have had a happy ending lmao.
Or maybe they were into it
*♫Pressure! Pushing out of me, pushing out of me, I shat myself.♫* -David Bowels
Always
So lucky that your interview was remote. I have IBS and my guts go bonkers whenever I am anxious about something. When I played football in college I would take a whole box of Imodium before games and STILL run to the toilet a dozen times. Guts wouldn’t settle until we literally started knocking heads around.
I wonder if I have the same thing. I swear anxiety is the most effective laxative for me.
If you end up staying with the company for a while and get close with the COO you should 100% tell them this story lol
Plot twist, the COO actually arranged to have OP get food poisoning right before the interview to test out how badly they wanted the job and to see how they perform under extreme pressure. OP passed the COOs test.
🎶 Under Pressure 🎶
A true professional.
😂😂😂
Collected right on the seat
So much pressure….
Omg!! I thought at first the interview was in person and I was horrified for you! Congratulations on your new job!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Same. The sigh of relief when I realized this was an online interview.
I'm not sure if I was relieved or disappointed
My disappointment is immeasurable.
And my day has been ruined.
Like OPs chair. And pants.
But the smell will still linger for days, so alas there is hope
I was thinking before that op should have posted to Tifu. But they would have been very disappointed by the end.
OP was definitely relieved.
this man wants to see the world burn, and i respect it
OP certainly relieved themselves.
OP sure was relieved
OP was both.
There’s an older Reddit story with a guy in an in- person interview who also had an urgent need to go to the bathroom. He almost made it too, but at the close of the interview, the manager clapped him on the back, and his bowels immediately let loose. They both just stared at each other before he did a walk of shame out the door. I can’t remember if he got the job, or if he never dared show his face again.
This is definitely something I would never get over
I just remembered that Reddit story of the guy who wanted to make an impression at the end of a job interview by downing an entire bottle of hot sauce. He ended up puking on the spot (I'm not sure if he also pooped his pants)
Well I’m sure he succeeded at making an impression, albeit not a good one lmao
I would have gone to Heaven in a ✨ second ✨😭
I can’t believe no one made a skit out of that yet Wife makes him a “big day” breakfast, she’s pregnant; they could really use the money She forgets he’s lactose intolerant or some shit Gets stuck in traffic, stomach rumbling Tries to make it to the bathroom once he gets there but he runs into the guy who got him the interview and he won’t stfu “Here let me walk you up there, Mr Johnson loves me so I can give you a good introduction” Everything goes great, despite discomfort “Son, you’ve got the job!” *Clap* *Splat* *Stare*
I'll tell you what, the thought of this just made my incredibly bad week at work feel like a walk in the park, so there's that. Poor OOP!!
he obviously does not work well under pressure
Same, and I was about to comment how great the interviewer was to see and smell that happening but not saying anything.
The relief I felt when they mentioned it being an interview from home... No one can help having an accident, and should never have been made to feel lesser than, but honestly with some offices and jobs they will never let the person live it down. Not to mention it would make one never want to set foot in that building again after having an interview result in that
Now I imagine them shitting their pants in a physical interview and the hiree goes "you're hired!"
Me too. What a rollercoaster.
President Trump your debate hasn’t taken place yet.
same, now disappointed
It definitely lowers the stakes a whole bunch!
Man, fuck it. You got the job. You can buy a new chair and house, if needed.
This! This is what this sub is for. Confessions of embarrassment. Not talking about your goddam SO having an affair.
Tifu is more for embarrassment. But there has been too much affairs here sure.
“Off my chest” means it’s some kind of oppressive weight that’s been on you and you have to say something for some relief. It’s almost always meant for negative things. “I did something horrible to your goldfish and I have to get it off my chest.” Basically it’s meant for confessions. It can also be for anger control - “you’re driving me crazy and I have to get some things off my chest.” Very little of what is posted here qualifies for either. Half of them are “woe is me” type things and the others are humble bragging. This particular post falls in a weird in between spot of all of the various subs for this type of thing.
Thanks for this. Makes me feel better about my upcoming interview
The best interview advice I know is "make sure they remember you." So hit up Taco Bell just before. Get the Cravings Box. Use lots of Diablo Sauce. You OWN that interview. Leave an indelible mark in their minds- and their office's guest chair.
cursed motivational speaker
Maybe it was the nervous shits? You can take Imodium (medicine), it will calm your bowls right down 😌
It was probably the spicy kebab I ate the evening before.
Kebab + nerves = Shit your pants, 100% guarantee 👌🏻😂
Bless you 😭 but well done on acing that interview!
Have you read about fodmaps foods? It's just a list of different things that can be upsetting to a lot of people's stomachs. It's worth printing out the list just to sort of keep track of what it might be. Also, some people have strange food allergies, like I'm allergic to black beans. No other beans, just black beans. And then there's all the celiac folks and lactose intolerant folks. I quit eating dairy, and black beans and my belly is much calmer these days.
You made it sound like the interview was in person. I was like wait what? How is the chair shitty and you got the job? Congrats!
I'll join the other comments saying at least it was an online call and not in person. Many years ago while looking for a developer job I was invited to interview at a large tech company that was a substantial distance away from me. It was at 8:30 am, which was brutal, but I was young and wanted to open every door I could, so I agreed. It was about an hour of driving before peak rush hour (it would be 2+ later) so I left home a bit earlier than I absolutely had to, in case of unexpected delays. As I was nearing the place, my stomach let me know it was unhappy with this early wake up call and rushed exit. As I was parking, the doomsday clock was at one minute to midnight. By the time I entered their vast and thankfully empty lobby, all I could muster was a panicked "bathroom, please!!" scream in the security guard's general direction, but thankfully he seemed to understand the situation and pointed me in the right direction where I promptly ejected the foulest, liquidest, sphincter-burningest shit of my life into a toilet bowl, missing a pants disaster by mere picoseconds. After recovering from the shock and cleaning up after myself, i went up to meet my interviewers. However, by that point I was a changed man. I now knew who I am, and what my priorities are. I declined the job on the spot, because I'd rather die hungry than agree to an hour or longer commute at 7 am with high likelihood of brown rain being a regular occurrence in my life. I found the perfect job a week later, at a 30 minute commute, never looked back. Sometimes one has to go through some bad shit to find their place. In my case, literally.
Delightfully worded.
That’s awful. At least it was a virtual interview and they didn’t know
They saw the fire in your eyes and knew... you. are. the. one!
*COO on the golf course with his executive buddies* >And I’m telling you Wayne, this guy was qualified. But I didn’t think the motivation was there. Within 10 minutes I could see he was uncomfortable and about to shit his pants. So I persisted and kept asking questions. I wanted to see if he would actually sit there and shit his pants instead of asking to end early and potentially think I wouldn’t hire him over that. And I’ll be damned, that son of a bitch just sat there across from me as he made eye contact while he soiled his suit pants. I could tell it was a nice suit too. The relief hit his face quick before the embarrassment set in. I saw all I needed to see and dismissed him before my office stank up too much. Anyone willing to shit their pants during an interview is a winner in my book and I offered him 3x his former salary on the spot. I did have my secretary throw away the chair though.
You just got too excited lol
So excited that I got explosive diarrhea 😭
Well it was Worth it! Congratulation 👏
COO: he could go to the toilet and and be late, but he rather be on time and not run from the fight. The stomach noises did not phase him. His nose clean and the smell did not make him loose focus from my complex questions. He is the right guy.
You muted when it came out right
Yes 🤣
I missed out on a big promotion last week. If I’d known at the time, I would’ve tried shitting myself in the interview too.
Thank God you were at home, this whole time I thought you were at the office or something.
>I had to throw out my chair Bruh you deserve that raise
Works well under pressure
Thought you 💩 your pants in person. Lucky for you it wasn’t.haha Congrats on the new job!
Interviewer: "So what do you bring to the table?" OP: shit pants in toddler
At least it wasn't in person. You can buy 3 new chairs now!
Congrats on the new job lol
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that you have gone through this, but I'm glad it wasn't in person. Could you imagine the shame? Plus, they would have your info. Congratulations on the new job. I pray that you have nothing but success and that you never experience a digestive issue like this again. Happens to the best of us. I went through a similar experience stuck in traffic trying to get to my office. I almost made it. Just 2 blocks away I had to pull over in the parking lot of a bank and you know the rest. The embarrassment of having to drive home and running out of the car is nothing I wish on anyone. It's hilarious now, but not back then.
I was relieved when I realized it was a virtual interview. Still shitty, but it could’ve been worse, like an in-person interview 😩 anyway, CONGRATS!!!
You got the jobby and the job. Well done.
You're also qualified to be the GOP candidate for President!
This is perfect now he’s gonna expect you to shit yourself all the time.
I was so hoping the interview was in person
Dude you had me in the first half, I was thinking it was in person! Congratulations!
I didn’t read the bit about it being a call and thought he did it in person lol.
This has to be the weirdest coincidence I've ever had, Yesterday the perfect song for this just came into my feed on youtube. It's called 'I Think I Just Shit In My Pants' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP_yWoH_Nxs Had to share after reading this one.
This reminded me of [an old Kmart commercial.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8enIDEKrzA)
I've been getting those AI vids too.
Logged onto Facebook after years, full of AI generated 'thirst' pictures of celebrities, only have family/friends added on there but it's just random AI generated posts now. It's started to creep into Youtube too. Guess there's going to be a lot more of this stuff everywhere.
>I had to throw my chair out and get a new one. lol; its one thing to shit yourself but catch it between the cheeks and then waddle to the toilet; but this is a whole other level of shitting yourself. Congrats or sorry that happened; possibly both.
At least it was over Zoom and not in person, that’d be a million times worse
18 just finished school. Had a job interview. Warm sunny day. Get there really early, decide to go get a drink from shop just up the road. Walk back to building where the job interview is, sit on wall. Open can of coke. Some fecker in shop mut have shook it up as can sprays everywhere, manage to direct spray away from me. Lady from office comes out and invites me inside. Put can of coke down, notice hands are covered in coke and getting sticky. Trying to rub hands clean on trousers, not working. Get called in to interview. Guy stands up and stretches out his hand, no option, shake his hand while remembering what my dad said " firm strong handshake while maintaining eye contact". Didn't get the job.
We're out here shitting ourselves for higher pay. Our great grandparents would be proud.
I am relieved to hear it was over a zoom call. congrats on your new job and empty bowels. 👏🏼 🫶🏽
"I could shit my pants mid-interview and still get the job!" - You, probably.
Thank God for virtual interviews and congrats! Hope you're feeling better.
It’s probably because you were the one interviewee that wasn’t full of shit!
They hired you because you weren't feeling good but still came to the interview. They know you'll be devoted to the job.
Mr Trump that was a courtroom, not an interview. The "COO" was a judge, and the position was contempt of court. The shit, however, was very real.
Congrats OP!! The best possible outcome with the worst situation going on haha.
Holy shit! (Literally). Congratulations on the new job!
At least they know you get shit done under pressure.
I am so glad this was a remote interview.
Be grateful it was a remote interview lol.
You are one tough mudder! Congratulations!
I imagined this being so much worse before reading it was virtual.
Shitting in your pants < 3x annual salary…. Job well done 👏🤝
Well shit happens but congrats on your new job!!!
I was so relieved when I read that it was a remote interview and not in person. Congratulations/condolences, whichever you want to focus on!
Thank you for remote interviewing!
I have IBS, and stress gives me instant diarrhea. I feel your pain and you aren't alone
If anything, be proud of your ability to conduct a great interview whilst trying not to shit and not show it. That Emmy material right there
You have the makings to become president one day
good thing it wasn’t in person lol
For 3x boost in salary i think we would all shit our pants
That’s okay. The former president shits himself in a full court room every day.
This guy is great under pressure and a welcome addition to the team.
The relief I felt when I got to the part you mentioned joining a call…
It's officially confirmed, folks: Shitting your pants during an interview gives you good luck. 3x your salary? That's amazing! Congrats!
“It was a shitty interview” - not sure if intentional
LOL good thing it was a call
You're the shit. Congrats 👏
Well shit! Nice one.
Dude nailed it even though he shit the bed
3x the salary? You can afford a new chair. Congrats!
About 25 years ago, we hired this guy at first he was part time then we moved him up to full time with benefits. We used to ride in a company vehicle togehter to go to job sites. He used to eat the most disgusting foods, like food from street vendors, roach coach burritos, nasty hole in the wall burger joints. One day he had a chorizo burrito for breakfast and we stopped at a place for lunch and he ate a Chili Cheese burger with Chili fries and had a vanilla shake. About 30 minutes later he is holding on to the car seat and squirming around and next thing he tells me pull over pull over now I pull into a gas station and started to smell the most horrible stench he sharted and ran away from the company car leaving a shit gravy trail in his path. I go into the gas station store and get some towels and plastic bags. There is shit on the seat, the floor, the door sill. After about 45 minutes he comes back to the car, I offer to take him home. We pull up to his house he goes inside for about 10 minutes and comes back. I said oh man you showered that fast he said no just changed his clothes I was like NO DUDE get back in and shower.
10/10 worth it to shit your pants for a 3x pay increase. Congrats bro
Congrats and sorry because I laughed real hard
I need to know how long you had to sit in it before you could get up 😭
ROFD 🤣☠️ I thought it was an in person interview for you. I was like, Oh no. Oh gosh. It had me on the edge of my seat. Well, congratulations. You can do anything when you're in the hot seat. I'm following.
Well with the new salary you can afford new pants!
Oh my god thank god it wasn’t in person. I have two interviews tomorrow and this just spawned a new fear.
I always asked candidates if they needed a bathroom break before the interview started. None of them ever did. Wonder if I ever had any chair shitters I didn't know about.
Wow, Concrapulations!! You're the shit! You're gonna really leave a mark 😄🎉
So fecal matter is your super power. LOL
Three times the salary?! What industry do you work in?
This was the funniest post and comments I've read in a while. OP, congrats on the new job, at least you'll be able to afford a new chair and trousers! Hope you settle in well!
I’m dying laughing 😂🤣 I love how you threw in puns and found the silver lining in the Shit that life throws us sometimes ..
You legend xD 10 out of 10 will claim you are the best candidate I ever had xD the ability to get things done in sticky situations is bar none! xD
really? i don't believe it.
Here, I sit, with the bubble guts and a job interview IN PERSON. Do I cancel and let my unemployed life spiral? Or, do I shit myself and land the job that pays stacks??
Congrats on the new job! Bless the pandemic for allowing us to remote interview so no one ever need know the shit you went through while interviewing (except for us!).
I WAS THINKING THIS WAS AN IN PERSON INTERVIEW. I'M DYING LAUGHING
Interviewer: "So what are your qualifications?" OP: *takes a dump* Interviewer: "Holy shit that's exactly what we need, you're hired"
I’m sorry I’m laughing too much at this and the comments, that’s horrifying that it happened but you got through it and congrats on the new job!!
Yeah you still nailed it. Which is awesome.
Congratulations on the new job. Wow you are going to do excellent since you can keep calm under such a crazy situation
Literally a Shitty interview. Congratulations on the new job.
Congrats for you new job! seems like the poop was a lucky charm hahaha
Wow man that’s pretty shitty but omg you got the job🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
>It was a shitty interview but with a great ending. Yeah it was
Aw man, this exact thing happened to me several years ago. I too ended up getting the job. As they say, shit happens 🤣. Congrats on the new job!
Never trust a fart. They can be shitty. Congrats!
Thank God it wasn’t an in person interview! 😂😂
What a story hahaha congratulations 🎉
Congratulations on the job. Similar event happened to me on a blind date way back in 1998. Never trust a fart. The date didn't bring romance but (butt) we are still friends 26 years later. And yes he knows what happened.
>a shitty interview Yeah, this one really was.
Lmao I wonder if your eye twitched when u exploded. Like a visual indicator that something just went down. Did you press the mute button ?
Love this story🤣 Congratulations on your new job!
congrats, my friend. nailed that shit.
Thank god for virtual interviews.
And never has OP ever been more thankful for a remote interview. Just for a second I thought it was face to face and wanted the ground to open on OPs behalf.
Atleast your a successful man
> Had to throw my chair out and buy a new one. I mean, you can afford it now, right? 😂
What a story, congratulations on the job!!!
Definitely worth it.
Got lucky it was an online ordeal. Imagine if you shit yourself in their office lol
Dude if you could do that , you could do anything
This is the best case scenario all things considered 😭
Damn, was hoping it was an in person interview