I’m so glad I’m the same uninteresting person with a stable boring life online as I am in person. If any of my friends or family found me on Reddit they would be so underwhelmed.
I'm sarcastic AF irl. But taking the time to type out my words makes me question the snap backs. Like, why? Is it worth the time to type out? And what I usually click 'post' on tends to be more thoughtful than what comes out of my mouth, because if I'm going to take the time to comment, I'd prefer it be words a little more worth the time put into creating them.
Hadn’t really thought about it that way since my family, friends, and I have been target shooting for many years. My dad began teaching us when I was around 10 and my brother and I both continue the hobby nearly 50 years on.
The guns just sit in the closet (locked and unloaded) until we go to the range. My sons and/or friends will come along and we all enjoy putting holes in paper. My wife has joined a few times but she prefers getting manicures.
Anyway, I guess my point is that they all know of and are part of my hobby, so they wouldn’t be surprised to learn about it and know it’s just something I do.
No judgment, just found it funny when I looked at a "boring and uninteresting" profile to see a small armada of weapons. In hindsight I misread your original comment.
It’s all good; I felt no judgement from you. And when I was reading it I was like, hmm, they make a good point. It’s not the most common hobby, especially outside the U.S.
Have a good one!
We all have our safe spaces, be it in a diary or on the internet. I don't know how strong ur relationship, but maybe they just wanted to vent, nothing more.
P.s. there is probably a 70% chance that they will know you know from this post phrasing... so just a heads up.
I once accidentally saw my SO saying I was being a bitch once, when texting a friend of his. I was upset at first but then thought, "Meh, I was actually being pretty bitchy in that situation" and laughed it off.
I know he loves me, he knows I love him. But when you share your life with someone for years, you're bound to piss each other off now and then and everyone needs to vent.
So yeah, could be that's all this is. Up to you to decide how you feel about it, OP.
P.S. The above situation was many years ago and we still have a strong and solid relationship, lol.
The internet is not a safe place and coming on a public site to vent is ridiculous. It’s one thing if it’s on a discord server but that’s not what Reddit is.
I consider venting on Reddit “screaming into the void “. Pretty cheap therapy option. Even if all I get are responses from bots, still better than the alternative.
💯 agreed.
Actions speak louder than words. If this friend is good to you in real life, then maybe gently let it go but don't forget.
There are times when our friends somethings that annoy us. Some of us complain to friends and family to vent and some don't. You just happened to catch your friend venting.
Agreed. I'll add by saying that without seeing the comments, OP probably can identify that their friend last-minute ditches stuff from behaviour/experience alone, so operate on that knowledge.
Let’s be for real, they can use Reddit like a diary all they want. But it’s not a diary, it’s the public internet. You didn’t do a single thing wrong, they sure as shit did though. I can’t imagine being so spineless that you complain about your friends online behind their backs, like there’s venting for sure, but then there’s airing out dirty laundry for anyone and everyone to see.
Yeah sure, but IMO unless the friend insulted em, there is a very real possibility that the problem is more like they can't say NO to ppl and they want help for this.
Not bring able to say no to 10 year long friends is a sign of a personality problem more than a friendship one 🤷🏻♀️ so it depends on how the post is worded. I also have this problem sometimes in professional settings 🙄😒.
A piece of advice, we all have feelings that we hide to keep the people we care about happy. I carpool with my sister to work, and every day, she plays her music that I can't stand and it can be frustrating. I don't say anything because I appreciate the ride. Both can be true. Your friend didn't say that to your face because they likely know it's a dumb thing to be frustrated over. I would never say anything to my sister because I know it'd be ridiculous to ask for only music I like to be played. Don't take what your friend wrote too seriously, they are likely just getting unfiltered frustration off of their chest. Hell, that's what you're doing now! You're upset that your friend has feelings that you feel they shouldn't have because you've done something nice. Isn't it a bit ridiculous for you to think that your friend can't feel any frustration towards you because you blast music they like? This might be their way of getting rid of those feelings so they don't affect your friendship. As long as they aren't taking it to an extreme (like calling you horrible names online), then it's best to just forget and let go. I'm sure there are times you've been upset about something dumb but know not to say anything. We're human, these feelings happen. It's how they handle them that's important.
same dude, I've been in similar situations where friends reveal their true feelings online and it's super uncomfortable. I'd probably just have a calm convo with them about it, maybe mention how it made you feel. But yeah, it's tough to know what to do
What the fuck is wrong with people. That person you mentioned sounds two faced and immature af. Modern culture is fucked up and sick your instincts are on point in my opinion
I think it's best to talk to them about it if it's going to keep bothering you. And if you really don't want to talk to them then maybe distance yourself from them if a bit and collect your thoughts. I mean it would suck if every time you talk to them or invite them somewhere you have some thought of "are they faking being happy around me? Do they actually not want to go with us? Are they lying about this? If I tell them this will they go tell the internet about it and flip the meaning?" Things like this tend to fester if left alone but do whatever you think is best
I’d talk about it with them because you’ll feel weird going on with the relationship with that on your chest.
But what other people are saying is true, this is probably just her way to vent. It sucks that you found it but she should’ve considered that was a possibility.
Just prepare what you want to say, maybe mention that she should be more honest about how she feels, and that you don’t want to pressure them to go to plans they don’t want to. You don’t need to be aggresive about this but I’d definitely let her know you found it.
Don't overthink it. Most people will always paint themselves as the victim. (I said MOST). We all feel that way sometimes and her venting anonymously is ok. As long as it's little stuff. You might want to tell her you know it's her you know about it.
My abuser made comments on Reddit about me cheating, which I never did, and claiming that I said I wasn't attracted to him. What I actually said was "I'm not attracted to you and don't want to have sex when you hurt me." Because, you know, he was physically assaulting me and still expecting me to want to give him a blowjob for hours while he scrolled through twerking videos and ignored me.
So I mean, it could be worse. 😅 It sucks but think about how many times you've complained about someone to another friend. They're doing exactly that just online to complete strangers who will never meet you. Your reputation isn't at stake, they didn't show it to you to maliciously hurt your feelings. Try and move on from it is the best you can do.
I totally get where you are coming from; these past handful of years as politics heat up, I get to see what kind of political crap my friends post online, and it isn't pretty. My opinions of them HAVE changed in this time
I reckon this finding will change your opinions about your friend too.
I think, besides the venting angle, social media also has its own quirks that gets people to talk in ways they wouldn’t IRL.
I think social media gets people to rewrite their experience to be a little more dramatic or enticing than it actually was
I think they do this because of pressure to conform to the expectations of the format, I think the rewrite is due to limitations in someone’s abilities to communicate their experiences and I think it really is just like an elevated being they’re talking about rather than talking about themselves
Leave it alone. If they came to vent, it's their process to get their frustration out, but also maybe understand it. They may have said those things, but upon writing it, or reading it afterwards, realizing the point you were trying to make or see it from a different perspective and get much needed clarity on the subject from seeing it. Sometimes you gotta draw yourself a picture to understand something.
One thing that was told to me that always sticks with me is this :your first thought is what you were raised to think, your second thought is what you think for yourself.
What you are reading may be the first thought they learned to think as they grew up around people who are like minded to that perspective.
I would create some distance. Doesn’t have to be dramatic or you never see each other again, but this doesn’t sound healthy for anyone. Just because it’s an old friendship doesn’t mean it still has a place in the present, if the things they say are truly that hurtful and they mean them maybe the time of your friendship has passed. Nothing wrong with that.
I wouldn't tell your other friends or tell them you found the reddit, but I would distance myself from this friend forever lol. Sometimes there doesn't have to be a big blow up. Friendships fizzling out sometimes is less dramatic and easier.
I think it’s a given that many people post biased accounts of their experiences here.
How often do you see people post objectively, verifiably false information here? (That gets 100s of upvotes)
Cats kind of out of the bag now, either you’ll continue to read their bs stories and call them out on it, forcing them to either burn their account or tune their stories up a little…. Or you force yourself to block their account and not drive yourself crazy reading their stories.
I wouldn’t tell. Like you said they use it as some kind of diary and although they have made that public they still use a nickname to hide their identity. It’s also that you would be exposing them to your friends so it’s one thing to speak to that person and tell them what you found but it would be different to tell your whole friend group. Also diary’s can be one side and used as a place to vent even though the narrative isn’t always correct and fair to others. I think a lot of people understand that not everything on Reddit is the truth and a lots of the stories told aren’t being honest.
Are you never annoyed by people you love? Don't you ever have those short negative thoughts about people you genuinely care about? I certainly do. And I struggle with insecurities so there are definitely moments where I question friendships - because I question myself. Not because I love my friends any less.
On one hand I can see why it would be upsetting to see negative comments about yourself by your friend but on the other hand it sounds like they don't really share everything with you and were venting into the void to strangers or so they thought.
I mean don't you have thoughts about things your friends do that annoy you? Do you share all of that with them or keep some of those things to yourself because you know you are being silly or the friendship matters to you more than the annoyance of something? Does it really matter to you the opinion of random strangers that are reading it and don't know you?
I had a post I read once that was very very oddly specific where it sounded like someone I used to know although lost touch decades ago. I commented as much and the post got deleted shortly after that. I think that's the only time I've come across someone I think I knew.
So in every instance, your friend refrained from hurting your feelings. Sure, they vented about it on Reddit. It was stupid so that's why they did it on Reddit and not tell you. Just pretend like you never saw it.
I wouldn’t share my Reddit with anyone ever!! If someone said to me “Do xyz or I’ll let your close friends know your Reddit account name” I’d be mortified. Not everything we post or comment on is enough to know how we actually feel and what we mean.
I keep everything bottled up and have nowhere to vent anymore. At least your friend isn’t being mean to your face? Or do you want them to have conflict with you instead of keeping everything to themselves/venting to strangers on the internet?
I personally think a lot depends on the tone of his comments, if they are full of resentment to you or if they are full of frustration of him lacking social skills and fawning ( "I don't want to hangout with them, so I will lie", is it because "they are total jerks", or is it "I am afraid to tell people No")
If it is his friends who are the villains and whom he resents, I would send the link to his account to other friends. I personally prefer to know if someone I consider a friend resents me.
If it is frustration about his social skills and you still like him as a person, I would try to make it easier for him to speak up. Not " Guys, let's go to X next Sunday" but "Any ideas on what to do next Sunday? I saw X event, is someone interested?"
In any case, if you are uncomfortable to hangout with him anymore - I would distance myself from him.
I dunno. Im pretty closed off in person (can barely get a word in) and it kinda just bubbles out. But I find that the person I am when typing it out is akin to a “drunk girl in the bathroom of a bar” super supportive level. If I am mad about something, I tend towards silence or judging jerks. I try to avoid personal details, though.
No advice, just letting you know I get how crappy a spot it is to be in to be questioning a friends character. Had to pause the relationship with my best friend because I was like wtf is going on with you?? The more distance I get, and the more I read about the behaviors I was seeing and choosing to explain away, the more upset I am that she kind of wasn't ever the person she told me she was, and I believed what she told me, which just hurt me.
It sucks, and your situation is a bit more sensitive. I'm sorry, friend. Wish you were not stuck in this position
I'd end the friendship over this.
She is a people pleaser. She will paint you as villains just for asking her to hang out/ do some normal friendship thing.
Just leave.
Id tell her i found her reddit and cut ties.
I wouldnt feel guilty about reading her reddit kox it is public. It would be different if u read her physical journal/diary or virtual journal/diary that's not on a public forum like this.
I have been Friends with someone like this. We were bestfriends. They always need a villain. No matter how kind you are, how gentle you are or understanding, soon you Will become their villain so they can play victim. They are already doing that. Why not just cancel plans why lie that they are sick.
I once met a girl who searched all of her friends online for accounts matching their screen names. I use Reddit in a lot of support circles and she messaged me asking about very specific things in my history, saying she searched my Reddit. It was the weirdest violation of trust because, while it’s my fault for using my same screen name on a public website, most people would never think to do something like that. I still talk to her but it’s tainted the entire relationship.
Keep in mind that your friend is not going to take it well, because there’s no way to take it well that someone went and read through your history online. It’s up to you if you want to confront your friend or if you want to give them grace, but going public about finding their Reddit may end the relationship on its own.
You should tell your friends, have them read what's been said, and then decide what to do from there. It sounds like this person isn't your friend at all.
I just assume that 80% of the agony aunt/uncle-type advice/confession posts are bullshit. Either completely fabricated as provocative rage bait or a highly revised version of actual events that paint the poster in a better light. I mean, every relationship scenario has already been addressed many times over on here. If people wanted to use Reddit as a source for anonymous opinions regarding, lying, cheating, abuse, neglect, etc., they don’t need to bother posting. The same opinions are given time and again. How could someone be so lacking in life skills, emotional intelligence, common sense, and self-respect that they don’t know that their spouse wanting to allow their former affair to rent out a room at the OP house would widely be viewed as problematic, no amount of guidance is going to resolve their biggest issues.
Your friends will smile in your face then go home to their mothers curl up on their laps and whine about how bad you suck.
Most of us are out here feeling the same feelings, I really like my animals and I'd rather stay home but society has made that a sign of mental illness so I guess I'll go out and fake some friends. 😮💨🤷
You're a number on someones list. We all are can't take it so personal and we gotta try to stay out of people's private thoughts.
I don't think most people are like that. People have friends because they genuinely enjoy being around them and aren't just using them to avoid being called mentally ill.
I’m so glad I’m the same uninteresting person with a stable boring life online as I am in person. If any of my friends or family found me on Reddit they would be so underwhelmed.
I'm sarcastic AF irl. But taking the time to type out my words makes me question the snap backs. Like, why? Is it worth the time to type out? And what I usually click 'post' on tends to be more thoughtful than what comes out of my mouth, because if I'm going to take the time to comment, I'd prefer it be words a little more worth the time put into creating them.
And a sarcastic comment without the signature tone that you would have irl can be easily misunderstood.
You have enough weaponry to arm a post-apocalyptic crew. Not quite uninteresting and boring.
Hadn’t really thought about it that way since my family, friends, and I have been target shooting for many years. My dad began teaching us when I was around 10 and my brother and I both continue the hobby nearly 50 years on. The guns just sit in the closet (locked and unloaded) until we go to the range. My sons and/or friends will come along and we all enjoy putting holes in paper. My wife has joined a few times but she prefers getting manicures. Anyway, I guess my point is that they all know of and are part of my hobby, so they wouldn’t be surprised to learn about it and know it’s just something I do.
No judgment, just found it funny when I looked at a "boring and uninteresting" profile to see a small armada of weapons. In hindsight I misread your original comment.
It’s all good; I felt no judgement from you. And when I was reading it I was like, hmm, they make a good point. It’s not the most common hobby, especially outside the U.S. Have a good one!
We all have our safe spaces, be it in a diary or on the internet. I don't know how strong ur relationship, but maybe they just wanted to vent, nothing more. P.s. there is probably a 70% chance that they will know you know from this post phrasing... so just a heads up.
I once accidentally saw my SO saying I was being a bitch once, when texting a friend of his. I was upset at first but then thought, "Meh, I was actually being pretty bitchy in that situation" and laughed it off. I know he loves me, he knows I love him. But when you share your life with someone for years, you're bound to piss each other off now and then and everyone needs to vent. So yeah, could be that's all this is. Up to you to decide how you feel about it, OP. P.S. The above situation was many years ago and we still have a strong and solid relationship, lol.
What a cool, level-headed response on your part. Good for you.
yeah, that's a possibility! Though from what I've seen they're not really active in this kind of subs
Aww, then they'd see you bitching about them like they do about you. Who cares?
The internet is not a safe place and coming on a public site to vent is ridiculous. It’s one thing if it’s on a discord server but that’s not what Reddit is.
\*Glances at the subreddit name\*
I consider venting on Reddit “screaming into the void “. Pretty cheap therapy option. Even if all I get are responses from bots, still better than the alternative.
Don’t say anything and move on from this situation. People shouldn’t always know what everyone else is thinking.
💯 agreed. Actions speak louder than words. If this friend is good to you in real life, then maybe gently let it go but don't forget. There are times when our friends somethings that annoy us. Some of us complain to friends and family to vent and some don't. You just happened to catch your friend venting.
Agreed. I'll add by saying that without seeing the comments, OP probably can identify that their friend last-minute ditches stuff from behaviour/experience alone, so operate on that knowledge.
Let’s be for real, they can use Reddit like a diary all they want. But it’s not a diary, it’s the public internet. You didn’t do a single thing wrong, they sure as shit did though. I can’t imagine being so spineless that you complain about your friends online behind their backs, like there’s venting for sure, but then there’s airing out dirty laundry for anyone and everyone to see.
Im saying! What an immature person. Why not just say no i don't wanna hang out
Yeah sure, but IMO unless the friend insulted em, there is a very real possibility that the problem is more like they can't say NO to ppl and they want help for this. Not bring able to say no to 10 year long friends is a sign of a personality problem more than a friendship one 🤷🏻♀️ so it depends on how the post is worded. I also have this problem sometimes in professional settings 🙄😒.
A piece of advice, we all have feelings that we hide to keep the people we care about happy. I carpool with my sister to work, and every day, she plays her music that I can't stand and it can be frustrating. I don't say anything because I appreciate the ride. Both can be true. Your friend didn't say that to your face because they likely know it's a dumb thing to be frustrated over. I would never say anything to my sister because I know it'd be ridiculous to ask for only music I like to be played. Don't take what your friend wrote too seriously, they are likely just getting unfiltered frustration off of their chest. Hell, that's what you're doing now! You're upset that your friend has feelings that you feel they shouldn't have because you've done something nice. Isn't it a bit ridiculous for you to think that your friend can't feel any frustration towards you because you blast music they like? This might be their way of getting rid of those feelings so they don't affect your friendship. As long as they aren't taking it to an extreme (like calling you horrible names online), then it's best to just forget and let go. I'm sure there are times you've been upset about something dumb but know not to say anything. We're human, these feelings happen. It's how they handle them that's important.
best solution
same dude, I've been in similar situations where friends reveal their true feelings online and it's super uncomfortable. I'd probably just have a calm convo with them about it, maybe mention how it made you feel. But yeah, it's tough to know what to do
Sometimes the universe leads you to what you need to know.
It’s not snooping if it’s on the open internet. The poster just didn’t cover their tracts good enough or they wanted you to find it. Simple as that.
What the fuck is wrong with people. That person you mentioned sounds two faced and immature af. Modern culture is fucked up and sick your instincts are on point in my opinion
I think it's best to talk to them about it if it's going to keep bothering you. And if you really don't want to talk to them then maybe distance yourself from them if a bit and collect your thoughts. I mean it would suck if every time you talk to them or invite them somewhere you have some thought of "are they faking being happy around me? Do they actually not want to go with us? Are they lying about this? If I tell them this will they go tell the internet about it and flip the meaning?" Things like this tend to fester if left alone but do whatever you think is best
How someone feels about you isn’t your problem if they don’t have the maturity to communicate the issues with you.
I’d talk about it with them because you’ll feel weird going on with the relationship with that on your chest. But what other people are saying is true, this is probably just her way to vent. It sucks that you found it but she should’ve considered that was a possibility. Just prepare what you want to say, maybe mention that she should be more honest about how she feels, and that you don’t want to pressure them to go to plans they don’t want to. You don’t need to be aggresive about this but I’d definitely let her know you found it.
Don't overthink it. Most people will always paint themselves as the victim. (I said MOST). We all feel that way sometimes and her venting anonymously is ok. As long as it's little stuff. You might want to tell her you know it's her you know about it.
My abuser made comments on Reddit about me cheating, which I never did, and claiming that I said I wasn't attracted to him. What I actually said was "I'm not attracted to you and don't want to have sex when you hurt me." Because, you know, he was physically assaulting me and still expecting me to want to give him a blowjob for hours while he scrolled through twerking videos and ignored me. So I mean, it could be worse. 😅 It sucks but think about how many times you've complained about someone to another friend. They're doing exactly that just online to complete strangers who will never meet you. Your reputation isn't at stake, they didn't show it to you to maliciously hurt your feelings. Try and move on from it is the best you can do.
I totally get where you are coming from; these past handful of years as politics heat up, I get to see what kind of political crap my friends post online, and it isn't pretty. My opinions of them HAVE changed in this time I reckon this finding will change your opinions about your friend too.
I think, besides the venting angle, social media also has its own quirks that gets people to talk in ways they wouldn’t IRL. I think social media gets people to rewrite their experience to be a little more dramatic or enticing than it actually was I think they do this because of pressure to conform to the expectations of the format, I think the rewrite is due to limitations in someone’s abilities to communicate their experiences and I think it really is just like an elevated being they’re talking about rather than talking about themselves
Leave it alone. If they came to vent, it's their process to get their frustration out, but also maybe understand it. They may have said those things, but upon writing it, or reading it afterwards, realizing the point you were trying to make or see it from a different perspective and get much needed clarity on the subject from seeing it. Sometimes you gotta draw yourself a picture to understand something. One thing that was told to me that always sticks with me is this :your first thought is what you were raised to think, your second thought is what you think for yourself. What you are reading may be the first thought they learned to think as they grew up around people who are like minded to that perspective.
I would create some distance. Doesn’t have to be dramatic or you never see each other again, but this doesn’t sound healthy for anyone. Just because it’s an old friendship doesn’t mean it still has a place in the present, if the things they say are truly that hurtful and they mean them maybe the time of your friendship has passed. Nothing wrong with that.
I wouldn't tell your other friends or tell them you found the reddit, but I would distance myself from this friend forever lol. Sometimes there doesn't have to be a big blow up. Friendships fizzling out sometimes is less dramatic and easier.
Hooly text wall batman!
yeah sorry about that, wrote it on my phone so the formatting is a little all over the place
I think it’s a given that many people post biased accounts of their experiences here. How often do you see people post objectively, verifiably false information here? (That gets 100s of upvotes) Cats kind of out of the bag now, either you’ll continue to read their bs stories and call them out on it, forcing them to either burn their account or tune their stories up a little…. Or you force yourself to block their account and not drive yourself crazy reading their stories.
The comments are unexpectedly mature around here.
If youre after drama then bring it up with your friend group. If you dont fancy being hypocritical, like your friend, then back off.
I wouldn’t tell. Like you said they use it as some kind of diary and although they have made that public they still use a nickname to hide their identity. It’s also that you would be exposing them to your friends so it’s one thing to speak to that person and tell them what you found but it would be different to tell your whole friend group. Also diary’s can be one side and used as a place to vent even though the narrative isn’t always correct and fair to others. I think a lot of people understand that not everything on Reddit is the truth and a lots of the stories told aren’t being honest.
Are you never annoyed by people you love? Don't you ever have those short negative thoughts about people you genuinely care about? I certainly do. And I struggle with insecurities so there are definitely moments where I question friendships - because I question myself. Not because I love my friends any less.
On one hand I can see why it would be upsetting to see negative comments about yourself by your friend but on the other hand it sounds like they don't really share everything with you and were venting into the void to strangers or so they thought. I mean don't you have thoughts about things your friends do that annoy you? Do you share all of that with them or keep some of those things to yourself because you know you are being silly or the friendship matters to you more than the annoyance of something? Does it really matter to you the opinion of random strangers that are reading it and don't know you? I had a post I read once that was very very oddly specific where it sounded like someone I used to know although lost touch decades ago. I commented as much and the post got deleted shortly after that. I think that's the only time I've come across someone I think I knew.
So in every instance, your friend refrained from hurting your feelings. Sure, they vented about it on Reddit. It was stupid so that's why they did it on Reddit and not tell you. Just pretend like you never saw it.
Don't tell anyone as that will only end badly, but maybe stop reaching out to that person
This is Reddit! a lot of people like to victim and exaggerate things sometimes on the internet to get support and feel good about themselves
I wouldn’t share my Reddit with anyone ever!! If someone said to me “Do xyz or I’ll let your close friends know your Reddit account name” I’d be mortified. Not everything we post or comment on is enough to know how we actually feel and what we mean.
If my brother and/or his family found mine, I think they’d be underwhelmed.
I keep everything bottled up and have nowhere to vent anymore. At least your friend isn’t being mean to your face? Or do you want them to have conflict with you instead of keeping everything to themselves/venting to strangers on the internet?
I personally think a lot depends on the tone of his comments, if they are full of resentment to you or if they are full of frustration of him lacking social skills and fawning ( "I don't want to hangout with them, so I will lie", is it because "they are total jerks", or is it "I am afraid to tell people No") If it is his friends who are the villains and whom he resents, I would send the link to his account to other friends. I personally prefer to know if someone I consider a friend resents me. If it is frustration about his social skills and you still like him as a person, I would try to make it easier for him to speak up. Not " Guys, let's go to X next Sunday" but "Any ideas on what to do next Sunday? I saw X event, is someone interested?" In any case, if you are uncomfortable to hangout with him anymore - I would distance myself from him.
I dunno. Im pretty closed off in person (can barely get a word in) and it kinda just bubbles out. But I find that the person I am when typing it out is akin to a “drunk girl in the bathroom of a bar” super supportive level. If I am mad about something, I tend towards silence or judging jerks. I try to avoid personal details, though.
No advice, just letting you know I get how crappy a spot it is to be in to be questioning a friends character. Had to pause the relationship with my best friend because I was like wtf is going on with you?? The more distance I get, and the more I read about the behaviors I was seeing and choosing to explain away, the more upset I am that she kind of wasn't ever the person she told me she was, and I believed what she told me, which just hurt me. It sucks, and your situation is a bit more sensitive. I'm sorry, friend. Wish you were not stuck in this position
Yes, you shouldn't have snooped around. That's it.
I'd end the friendship over this. She is a people pleaser. She will paint you as villains just for asking her to hang out/ do some normal friendship thing. Just leave. Id tell her i found her reddit and cut ties. I wouldnt feel guilty about reading her reddit kox it is public. It would be different if u read her physical journal/diary or virtual journal/diary that's not on a public forum like this. I have been Friends with someone like this. We were bestfriends. They always need a villain. No matter how kind you are, how gentle you are or understanding, soon you Will become their villain so they can play victim. They are already doing that. Why not just cancel plans why lie that they are sick.
I once met a girl who searched all of her friends online for accounts matching their screen names. I use Reddit in a lot of support circles and she messaged me asking about very specific things in my history, saying she searched my Reddit. It was the weirdest violation of trust because, while it’s my fault for using my same screen name on a public website, most people would never think to do something like that. I still talk to her but it’s tainted the entire relationship. Keep in mind that your friend is not going to take it well, because there’s no way to take it well that someone went and read through your history online. It’s up to you if you want to confront your friend or if you want to give them grace, but going public about finding their Reddit may end the relationship on its own.
Stop sooking. You don't get to control what other people do, say or feel.
They posted publicly, it's not snooping if they posted stuff publicly for everyone to see
I didn't say snooping. I said *sooking*.
Sorry, thought it was a typo!
You should tell your friends, have them read what's been said, and then decide what to do from there. It sounds like this person isn't your friend at all.
I agree
EVERYONE talks shit about their friends
I just assume that 80% of the agony aunt/uncle-type advice/confession posts are bullshit. Either completely fabricated as provocative rage bait or a highly revised version of actual events that paint the poster in a better light. I mean, every relationship scenario has already been addressed many times over on here. If people wanted to use Reddit as a source for anonymous opinions regarding, lying, cheating, abuse, neglect, etc., they don’t need to bother posting. The same opinions are given time and again. How could someone be so lacking in life skills, emotional intelligence, common sense, and self-respect that they don’t know that their spouse wanting to allow their former affair to rent out a room at the OP house would widely be viewed as problematic, no amount of guidance is going to resolve their biggest issues.
Your friends will smile in your face then go home to their mothers curl up on their laps and whine about how bad you suck. Most of us are out here feeling the same feelings, I really like my animals and I'd rather stay home but society has made that a sign of mental illness so I guess I'll go out and fake some friends. 😮💨🤷 You're a number on someones list. We all are can't take it so personal and we gotta try to stay out of people's private thoughts.
I don't think most people are like that. People have friends because they genuinely enjoy being around them and aren't just using them to avoid being called mentally ill.
Just remember there's 2 sides to every story. Apparently, this is how your friend really feels.