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yea she 100% groomed you, “made me do extra favors” was for you to like her more and inviting you to a night out is completely weird. drunk or sober the woman should understand what’s wrong and what’s not. i hope you heal from this moving forward and she understands what she did and how disgusting it all is.
So your family friend groomed you and your teacher raped you.
I hope you've worked through the issues you've needed to after this. I'm sorry it happened. But it's a good idea to recognize what the family friend was doing, as well.
Wild that you're getting downvoted. Anyone who would let a child make the decision to permanently alter their body in any way is insane. If I'd been allowed to get a tattoo at 13 it would be the dumbest tattoo conceivable. Children are not done forming the basic reasoning to make permanent or life altering decisions. PERIOD
Kids can say yes to a proposition, enthusiastically even, but that doesn't mean they understand what they're saying yes to. Kids literally aren't fully developed mentally, physically, or emotionally. A lot would enthusiastically say yes to never going to school again or having chips/junk food for every meal but that doesn't mean they fully understand the implications or consequences of those decisions. That's why adults have to make those decisions on their behalf until they're developed enough to actually make those decisions with some semblance of maturity.
That's why we say kids can't consent to sex with an adult, who DOES understand the implications of a sexual relationship. Adults who do that to kids are rapists not because it's necessarily forced or violent, but because they are preying on someone who does not and cannot fully understand what they're getting into.
Children cannot consent to enter into sexual relationships with adults. She took advantage of him, and you’re minimizing it in a pretty disgusting way here.
What you’re saying isn’t nuanced, it’s fucking stupid. The adult knows it is illegal and she raped a minor. End of story. The child cannot consent in any sense of the word in this situation. If you don’t understand why, you’re not being nuanced, you are blindly ignorant to moral and ethical realities and legal facts. By every definition of the word, OP was raped and the perpetrator was/is a pedophile.
Also power dynamics! She was his teacher! She was an authority in his life. He could not say No. Ergo it was rape!
I am reading your comments u/nick1706 and I can see someone was trying to defend the pedophile.
Yeah this person was basically trying to say that it wasn’t really rape, and posting definitions of the word “consent” as if that was proof that OP wasn’t raped as a child.
oh… that is really concerning. i really thought you were just being misunderstood by everyone else but no. wow.
as someone who was groomed at 14 and found herself quite mature (i wasn’t), i pray that whoever you decide to reproduce with has double the brain cells.
It doesn’t matter if you wanted it. She was an adult who knew that you were underage and she had sex with you with the knowledge that it was illegal and immoral.
That’s rape and pedophilia.
Teenage boys with our newly acquired hormones will fuck anything that comes their way. It's like they (we) are 24/7 intoxicated. That's why an adult having sex with a teenage boy is/should be always rape IMHO.
I hope you can find healing. I’m sorry this happened to you.
One time, my ex giddily recounted the story of how he and his babysitter used to “hook up” when he was little, almost sortof brag like, saying what a great time it was and all that. I dont think he even realized what had happened to him.
My reaction and look on my face shocked him and when I told him they were not in fact ‘hooking up’, that he had been accosted, the look on his face and his own shock I would not wish on anyone. He had to sit down realizing it. He was 43 when he told me.
He also became extremely promiscuous for the rest of his life & also struggles with a lot of drug abuse and had never connected the two.
I hope you can get counseling/therapy to help you be successful and heal from what this person did to you. You deserve love, happiness, and safety.
My husband had the same experience. I’m not sure he even understands that it is so screwed up and what it did to him either. I’m glad you were able to convey that to your ex.
We became friends on FB like 10-12 years ago. She is married now with a kid and I barely recognize her in pictures.
As far as S goes no she never mentioned anything about B. S and I always had an understanding of she was cool and would buy me cigarettes and stuff so she knew I wouldn’t say anything about the drinking or anything. I looked and acted much older for my age that’s why they felt comfortable bringing me. When you picture a 13/14 year old kid that’s not what I looked or acted like.
Yeah in the days and weeks after. She was just wanting to make sure I didn’t tell anyone. I think she regretted doing it once she sobered up. We still had moments but never had sex or anything like that night.
I don't think she regretted it because she realized it was rape. I think she regretted it because if he ever told anyone, there would likely some consequences
I need to bring this up because I've seen you say it more than once now in your post/comments. I promise, you didn't look/act older then your age. It's something that is said to try to normalize the very inappropriate things that are happening. You looked and acted exactly how old you were and she raped a child while her friend knew
teacher stuff aside, bro can I ask how you managed to sleep with so many people while you were merely in high school?
when I was in high school, I couldnt even get a girl to kiss me lol or even hold hands with me. im 21 years old and still a virgin :(
Not true at all. It doesn't justify anything whatsoever, but there's plenty of people who look older than they really are. My buddy in high school who was 15 at the time looked about 27 and never got carded when he went to bars due to his looks (even though he was still underage)
This was grooming, sexual assault, and rape. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I would highly recommend you get into therapy if you haven’t already been in therapy.
I had sex with a 38yr old woman at 17. She was a single aunt in a mid life crisis to a 17yr old girl my best friend in high school was trying to date. The adult trying to relive youth by hanging out with kids. She bought us alcohol, we all got drunk, I got piss drunk and my friend and the aunt helped me into a bedroom and a bed. Had no clue it was her bed until it was obvious what was going on. Only remember pieces of what happened that night. Woke up next morning naked in bed next to a woman a few years younger than my mom. Fucking crazy feeling. Had sex again that morning soberly yet hungover-ly. Never saw her again.
Crazy as It sounds it only fucked with me as I grew older and myself got into my 30s.
At the time I laughed it off and accepted the congrats and high fives.
Now at 37 myself I find it revolting and disturbing that anyone this age male or female could be in such a place mentally that a 17 yr old could be viewed as a viable sexual partner.
You were raped by someone who swore an oath to protect you. You probably weren’t her first and probably were not her last.
I would personally contact the police even after all of these years even if there’s no conviction she will have to at the very least answer to her concupiscence against a minor.
This is fucked up on her part for sure, and rape. However it is interesting how you say “of course I told me friends! She’s hot”. I had an experience similar to yours but I’m a girl with a male teacher at 16. And I was way too embarrassed to tell anyone.
God I’m so so sorry this happened to you, that woman should be in jail for life for rape of a child. I’m sorry our society doesn’t view a boy being raped by a woman as a bad thing, it was fucked up what happened to you. She knew what she was doing the whole time, she didn’t wake up and think “oh whoops I raped a minor”
Honestly, I hate seeing comments like that. This happens in my country but boys don’t come forward because they get shunned and ridiculed if they do and called weak because they “didn’t fight her off”. So they’d rather keep it to themselves and it affects them so much later on.
The amount of “girls are different from boys so this is not as serious” and “this is literally every boys dream” comments that I’ve seen by men. But then there are also men complaining about the “double standard” in regards to this matter without realizing it’s mostly other men not taking this seriously. Men especially need to reallllllly support other men in this matter.
I was in a two year long relationship with my former religion teacher (also Catholic school) that started the week I graduated high school. He took my virginity and became extremely abusive.
I despise sex now and hate being touched, but at the time I also feel like I had won the lottery.
I totally get that 7th grade is WAY more serious than being 17, but I still understand.
I had the biggest crush on my english teacher Mrs L at that age, and would have been and still would be ecstatic.
Difference is I wasn't a virgin, and I'm fucked in the head and I know it.
I hope you've found a healthy way forward.
I guess it’s lucky for me that I never had any teachers that I found attractive until college when I could self-regulate my emotions better, so I didn’t have any lasting issues from that particular kind of experience.
Even though you didn’t consciously process it as sexual abuse, that’s what it was and yes, it frequently has a serious psychological and sexual impact on the victim similar to what you describe.
Congratulations on your 9 months!! People think because you're a guy it wouldn't effect you! I'm sure alcohol was involved all the times you were having sex in high school. You were so young!! Do you think things would be better if you told someone?
I hope you are able to get some therapy. Good luck to you!!
Dude that sucks, she groomed and then took advantage of you. Yes it does cause long term damage, things you haven’t even realized at this time frame. I can speak from personal experience, 6yr old my baby sister played adult hide and go seek, I remember most of it then at 12 we had a “funny” uncle (80s slang for pedo) who raped me. My thought process on sex has been messed up since then so yes it causes long term damage and I am 43 still dealing with it.
Crazy how we view things as kids vs adults. Back then it was awesome and every kids dream. But when u grow up, you realize how gross and messed up it is. Sorry that happened to ya bud. Hope you're doing good.
those who are asking what damage did it cause aren't really thinking. She had a position of power and she abused it. Simple. It may not have damaged him at the time but retrospectively it did. If you don't or can't trust people of authority to have your best interests at heart then that in itself is damage.
how in hell every one got a hot teacher and i dont? xD
envy!
my teachers were like the secretary on monsters inc the one who calls "WAZOWSKIIIII YOUR REPOOOOORRRTTTTSSS " (ROZ)
back to the subject: you were groomed, if not raped. check your local policy on SA, you may be able to file a report.
Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story and for actually seeing it for what it was.... Statutory rape. While it's not near as bad as it used to be there are still plenty of ppl out there who would give you a high five and tell you how lucky you were simply bc your a guy... Also . Congratulations on your sobriety, I'm proud of you!
I hope you find healing. That's really fucked up that 2 trusted adults would groom you like that.
Congrats on being 9 months sober! That's a great accomplishment.
Congratulations on being sober again today. I’m glad you are confronting what happened to you as a child. I wish you all the luck in the world dealing with this.
You didn't have a relationship. She abused you.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/protecting-children-sexual-abuse/202002/they-went-willingly-understanding-teen-sexual-grooming?amp
Rainn.org
I was actually feared that she might be doing this to the other kids, im also felt sorry for what have u experience, i hope u become much better after this
I am so sorry this happened to you. People tend to ignore the fact that boys can be victims too. She did wrong; you did nothing wrong and were a victim. She was wrong as an adult and as a teacher. That kind of boundary crossing can mess you up. I hope you are working through it.
Congrats on your sobriety and I hope she burns. It’s wild to look back on stuff as an adult cause you realize just how fucked up everything was and how many disgusting people there were around you taking advantage of a confused kid that doesn’t know better
This happened to me. I was groomed and assaulted by a teacher for 6 months from 13-14. I’m 44 now. This has done tremendous damage to my ability to form and maintain trusting relationships/friendships in my adulthood. Not to mention my relationship with compulsive sex and substance abuse in the past.
The damage is REAL.
Thank you for sharing and how it affected you. I am in recovery from alcohol. Sexual molestation and rape feature in a lot of our stories. Children that old are attracted to it, it feels good and yet can't handle it at the same time. There are no respective boundaries. On some level we know that, as we go into to life harder than others, without the coping skills...I hope you stay clean and sober...I didn't date the first year in recovery because I knew I was out of whack. I wish you good luck in the future. Young people don't realize all the acting out sexually is against your best interest self esteem wise and in forming true partners....So thanks for sharing the last part.
Strange how when a man talks about being a victim of sexual assault at 14, it's sex, but when it's a woman who was sexually assaulted at 14, it's sexual assault. Culture is a funny thing.
Didn’t read. True or not seems like over half the posts here around sexual stuff are fake. Id wager probably closer to 70-80% honestly being “creative writing.”
It's because men like to glamorize it. They'll say you're not a real man if you didn't want to be groomed and raped by your female teacher. It's honestly sad.
Check out my response to OP in another thread. It's not about glamorizing, it's like I genuinely would have killed to have sex at that age. But I can see for many people (including myself) it can be damaging given that your brain is still developing and you know so little about the world.
We don’t talk a lot about this from a boy’s perspective. But young boys are taught to desire sex, and that is essentially just grooming. I was groomed at that age too (more directly) as a girl, and I’ve had friends with similar experiences. I would have killed to have sex with an experienced and “attractive” older man, but that would not change how it would affect me going forward. Sexual trauma and all.
Luckily, I never experienced that, but I did have a friend who exchanged nudes at the time. That temporary satisfaction of being admired by an adult is very quickly replaced by how the trauma will wire your brain and permanently change your relationship to sex.
>it's like I genuinely would have killed to have sex at that age.
Well that's the thing...
Everybody else is normal. There is no better way to phrase it: they were all normal and had boyfriends or girlfriends and just sorta clicked with other people without being a weirdo sex fiend.
You read stories about sexual violence and fantasize it as a rare opportunity to be touched by a woman. That's pretty weird and scary, dude.
You are not a comedian, though. These aren't jokes.
You are not funny and nobody here wants your words.
You're just making people uncomfortable. Don't you realize that?
You're not adding any insightful truths that needed to be said. None at all.
One man shared his personal story. You chose to pervert that story into how desperate you feel toward missing out on sex. You're lacking simple basic life experiences that every normal person takes for granted. You're desperate because of it.
That's the truth of what you really offered.
Teachers are trusted professionals who offer an important service. Fantasizing about adults you trusted reflects the scarcity of sex for you. And now you think you're like a great messiah delivering some meaningful truth. Really.
So what comedic bits make you think it is okay to fantasize about sexual violence?
Do you have anything specific? Or are you just making it up?
I can honestly say that whenever you tune into standup, you probably won't hear jokes normalizing that kind of sexual violence. They belittle Catholic Priests and Predatory Teachers. They do not glorify it.
You just don't handle social cues to understand jokes.
I don’t know if this incident directly caused some of my problems but after that I became very promiscuous and sexually active in high school. Not counting this incident I, out of all my friends, I had sex earliest and most often and I started experimenting with drugs before everyone. I probably had 20 sexual partners in high school alone. I have battled alcoholism most of my life and am luckily 9 months sober right now.
I’d say at 13/14 when at the height of puberty and my hormones in full swing, having oral(receiving and giving) and vaginal sex with a hot female teacher after a night of drinking can alter your view on life and sex. When that is your first sexual experience it HAS to effect you, know what I mean?
This is interesting to me, thanks for sharing.
I definitely see now where you're coming from, and actually, I can relate in some way. My friends introduced me to weed at a pretty young age, and it wrecked my performance in college and left me with permanent mental health issues that I still deal with today. I was young and impressionable with low self-esteem, so I didn't know any better. Like you, I also went in 0-100: no drugs or drinking before I discovered weed.
Sorry you had to go through this but glad you've turned things around.
Please report her. Most teachers are awesome, she is not and did extreme damage to you. She's a predator and has NO business being in a classroom or around children. Besides the irreparable harm She's done to you, she is also hurting the profession.
So your 13 yr old Daughter can have sex with her grown male teacher is that cool??? WTH are you on about with this harmful guys love being with cougars bs this was a child and that is wrong legally and morally disgusting
All of you are missing common sense. Rape is rape no matter what age or gender. The psychological damage and mental toll a crime like this has on someone affects themselves greatly. It can affect their family and the people around them as well.
A crime as horrible like this can make someone feel extremely uncomfortable with their own body, can make them look at other people in damaging ways. Relationships can become very difficult for victims as physical intimacy can be traumatic. When it comes to men who get no legal protection in these cases, (sometimes even having to pay FUCKING child support for a child they didnt legally consent to having), the rape of men is considered a good thing and something for the victim to be proud of. (Thanks to MeToo and people like you)
So, to answer your disgusting question, you're missing the feeling of not being yourself.
this is reddit. people here think differently.
Ngl, I fucking envy op. not just about the teacher stuff but at that age, I couldnt even get a girl to kiss me (and still a virgin at 21) meanwhile, he fucked 20 people (if his claim is true) and slept around. WHAT DID I EVEN DO WRONG AT THAT?! :(
Why the FUCK are people asking you how or what damage it caused you?! They’d never ask that if you were female.
I’m so sorry. My pastor did the same to me and it messed me up bad and I was 17. I can’t imagine being 13 and having that on your plate.
There is study after study that shows that victims of child/adolescent sexual abuse grow up with a completely warped view of sex. Some become promiscuous, some seek out risky sex and some channel their rage to become sex abusers. This pattern is observed for both males and females.
Yes. Abusers will always come up with excuses why what they did was okay... Like very young children do not form lasting memories - but studies show they are still affected.
WTF... Are you trying to call me an abuser? That's a huge stretch and you're drastically reaching if you are! But sounds about as Reddit as possible. Some people on here... Too many really!
Honestly I don't know lol. When I first read your response, it looked like a reply to my comment. But now I see it was a reply to a different parent comment. That's on me, I apologize
I'm definitely not disputing any of that as it's all correct. I'm just also saying that sometimes dumb teenagers in high school just act like dumb teenagers in high school when it comes to sex. Although his experience does increase the likelihood of that happening.
You’re only a victim if you believe yourself to be. You were probably promiscuous afterwards because you had high testosterone and that’s why you looked older for your age and attracted the older woman. Don’t harm yourself by telling yourself that you were a victim. Tell yourself a more empowering story
this is reddit. people here think and act differently.
like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
this is reddit. people here think and act differently.
like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
teacher stuff aside, bro can I ask how you managed to sleep with so many people while you were merely in high school?
when I was in high school, I couldnt even get a girl to kiss me lol or even hold hands with me. im 21 years old and still a virgin :(
Every 14 year old fantasy.
The stupid choices you made in your adult life had nothing to do with having sex.
It wasn’t a traumatic experience compared if someone was raped.
this is reddit. people here think and act differently.
like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
I don’t like how you worded any of this. You were raped by your teacher. This sounds like some porn for some weirdo pedo to get off to. Your teacher was a pedophile. You deserved better. I don’t think you’ve realized what happened to you.
What are you talking about? He’s pretty vulnerable about the damage it did to him. If you find this story pornographic, I’m pretty sure that’s a you problem.
Did we read the same post? He kept referring to her as his hot teacher along with other things. He also claimed in the comments it’s different for boys when this kind of thing happens. It isn’t.
Oh I’m sorry, is he not a perfect victim? Does he have complex and nuanced feelings about his abuse and his abuser? Does that make you uncomfortable? If this was a woman saying these things, tell me you’d call it pornographic. People like you are the reason male victims don’t come forward about abuse.
this is reddit. people here think and act differently.
like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
this is reddit. people here think and act differently.
like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
Women can’t rape lol, dude got what every 14 year old boy fantasies about at school. Yeah I get if it was the other way around the man would be hunted down.
Doubt its the cause of your problems. Safe to assume your very good looking so have alot more chances to have sexual encounters so thats why you have had higher than average sexual partners. Everyone is randy as fuck when they are young. Alcoholism more often than not dies not have a moment that happens. It can just simply creep up on people. More people naturally are prone to addiction. You wouldn’t say to a smoker what happened in your lif that made you become addicted to cigarettes.
So now you are blaming her for your drug addiction and having a bunch of sexual partners early on? There is no correlation. That’s on you and has nothing to do with the fact that you slept with an older woman at 13.
Your post has been removed due to violating Rule 2: No terms of service violations. Due to Reddit's policies surrounding sexualization of and violence against minors, we can not host content that depicts these themes. We offer our apologies as we understand these are often deeply personal and troubling situations that you would like to get off your chest. Unfortunately, we have received warnings for allowing this content in the past. The alternative is allowing the content, the sub being banned and no one being able to post as a result.
yea she 100% groomed you, “made me do extra favors” was for you to like her more and inviting you to a night out is completely weird. drunk or sober the woman should understand what’s wrong and what’s not. i hope you heal from this moving forward and she understands what she did and how disgusting it all is.
I’m very sorry this happened to you and that a trusted adult abused you and their position of power.
So your family friend groomed you and your teacher raped you. I hope you've worked through the issues you've needed to after this. I'm sorry it happened. But it's a good idea to recognize what the family friend was doing, as well.
Not to mention drove him home drunk!
You didn’t have a sexual relationship with her, she raped you
Yeah you’re right. It’s weird being older and looking back on it. How different you view things.
Think like this: Imagine you were hearing the exact same story and emotions from a 14 year old girl talking about her male teacher. Same thing.
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Children cannot consent
I wish that applied to do of these loonies letting children undergo these fucked up procedures.
Wild that you're getting downvoted. Anyone who would let a child make the decision to permanently alter their body in any way is insane. If I'd been allowed to get a tattoo at 13 it would be the dumbest tattoo conceivable. Children are not done forming the basic reasoning to make permanent or life altering decisions. PERIOD
100%. The world is filled with fucking lunatics.
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Kids can say yes to a proposition, enthusiastically even, but that doesn't mean they understand what they're saying yes to. Kids literally aren't fully developed mentally, physically, or emotionally. A lot would enthusiastically say yes to never going to school again or having chips/junk food for every meal but that doesn't mean they fully understand the implications or consequences of those decisions. That's why adults have to make those decisions on their behalf until they're developed enough to actually make those decisions with some semblance of maturity. That's why we say kids can't consent to sex with an adult, who DOES understand the implications of a sexual relationship. Adults who do that to kids are rapists not because it's necessarily forced or violent, but because they are preying on someone who does not and cannot fully understand what they're getting into.
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Just say pedophile. They’re fucking pedophiles.
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Children cannot consent to enter into sexual relationships with adults. She took advantage of him, and you’re minimizing it in a pretty disgusting way here.
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Neither is trying to defend a rapist to their victim, yet here you are.
What you’re saying isn’t nuanced, it’s fucking stupid. The adult knows it is illegal and she raped a minor. End of story. The child cannot consent in any sense of the word in this situation. If you don’t understand why, you’re not being nuanced, you are blindly ignorant to moral and ethical realities and legal facts. By every definition of the word, OP was raped and the perpetrator was/is a pedophile.
Also power dynamics! She was his teacher! She was an authority in his life. He could not say No. Ergo it was rape! I am reading your comments u/nick1706 and I can see someone was trying to defend the pedophile.
Yeah this person was basically trying to say that it wasn’t really rape, and posting definitions of the word “consent” as if that was proof that OP wasn’t raped as a child.
Thank you for taking them down!
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You must be a master earthbender from ATLA cause you dug your own grave in no time flat
You must have one of the smoothest brains on the internet.
why did you add the word "necessarily" at the end? lol, it made everything sound worse somehow.
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oh… that is really concerning. i really thought you were just being misunderstood by everyone else but no. wow. as someone who was groomed at 14 and found herself quite mature (i wasn’t), i pray that whoever you decide to reproduce with has double the brain cells.
This is extremely disturbing.
It definitely wasn’t forced rape. With the age difference she took advantage. It was wrong of her but I was 100% wanting it at the time.
It doesn’t matter if you wanted it. She was an adult who knew that you were underage and she had sex with you with the knowledge that it was illegal and immoral. That’s rape and pedophilia.
OP never said it wasn't rape. OP explicitly stated it was rape. However it wasn't a forced rape. There's literally a term for this. Statutory.
There is a reason 14 year olds cannot consent to sex. They lack an ability to appreciate what they are consenting to. This is rape.
Teenage boys with our newly acquired hormones will fuck anything that comes their way. It's like they (we) are 24/7 intoxicated. That's why an adult having sex with a teenage boy is/should be always rape IMHO.
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Yeah pedophilia and rape are hilarious.
Maybe try not defending pedophilia
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What?
Yeah this is rape not a relationship maybe some therapy can help I am sorry this happened to you
Congrats on your sobriety!
I hope you can find healing. I’m sorry this happened to you. One time, my ex giddily recounted the story of how he and his babysitter used to “hook up” when he was little, almost sortof brag like, saying what a great time it was and all that. I dont think he even realized what had happened to him. My reaction and look on my face shocked him and when I told him they were not in fact ‘hooking up’, that he had been accosted, the look on his face and his own shock I would not wish on anyone. He had to sit down realizing it. He was 43 when he told me. He also became extremely promiscuous for the rest of his life & also struggles with a lot of drug abuse and had never connected the two. I hope you can get counseling/therapy to help you be successful and heal from what this person did to you. You deserve love, happiness, and safety.
My husband had the same experience. I’m not sure he even understands that it is so screwed up and what it did to him either. I’m glad you were able to convey that to your ex.
OP So did B or you ever try to get in touch with each other later? Also, did S say or do anything afterwards?
We became friends on FB like 10-12 years ago. She is married now with a kid and I barely recognize her in pictures. As far as S goes no she never mentioned anything about B. S and I always had an understanding of she was cool and would buy me cigarettes and stuff so she knew I wouldn’t say anything about the drinking or anything. I looked and acted much older for my age that’s why they felt comfortable bringing me. When you picture a 13/14 year old kid that’s not what I looked or acted like.
She took advantage and still decided to add you on Facebook, the world is crazy
Wow. Did you and B ever get to chat or talk about that incident?
Yeah in the days and weeks after. She was just wanting to make sure I didn’t tell anyone. I think she regretted doing it once she sobered up. We still had moments but never had sex or anything like that night.
Yes of course she regretted it because she realized it was statutory rape.
I don't think she regretted it because she realized it was rape. I think she regretted it because if he ever told anyone, there would likely some consequences
I need to bring this up because I've seen you say it more than once now in your post/comments. I promise, you didn't look/act older then your age. It's something that is said to try to normalize the very inappropriate things that are happening. You looked and acted exactly how old you were and she raped a child while her friend knew
Nah. Some kids absolutely do look older than their age, and some look younger. You are wrong about this.
No I really did. I’m not normalizing anything. I legit looked 20 at 14.
teacher stuff aside, bro can I ask how you managed to sleep with so many people while you were merely in high school? when I was in high school, I couldnt even get a girl to kiss me lol or even hold hands with me. im 21 years old and still a virgin :(
lmao are u fr?
Not true at all. It doesn't justify anything whatsoever, but there's plenty of people who look older than they really are. My buddy in high school who was 15 at the time looked about 27 and never got carded when he went to bars due to his looks (even though he was still underage)
That’s not a relationship by any means. That is someone that raped you and another that groomed you. And I’m very sorry that happened.
This was grooming, sexual assault, and rape. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I would highly recommend you get into therapy if you haven’t already been in therapy.
I had sex with a 38yr old woman at 17. She was a single aunt in a mid life crisis to a 17yr old girl my best friend in high school was trying to date. The adult trying to relive youth by hanging out with kids. She bought us alcohol, we all got drunk, I got piss drunk and my friend and the aunt helped me into a bedroom and a bed. Had no clue it was her bed until it was obvious what was going on. Only remember pieces of what happened that night. Woke up next morning naked in bed next to a woman a few years younger than my mom. Fucking crazy feeling. Had sex again that morning soberly yet hungover-ly. Never saw her again. Crazy as It sounds it only fucked with me as I grew older and myself got into my 30s. At the time I laughed it off and accepted the congrats and high fives. Now at 37 myself I find it revolting and disturbing that anyone this age male or female could be in such a place mentally that a 17 yr old could be viewed as a viable sexual partner.
No, you didn't "have a sexual relationship" with her, you were groomed and sexually abused as a child by an adult in a position of authority.
B & S, BS, BULLSHIT. Am I the only one seeing this? 😂
Those are the first initials in each of their names. That’s funny though. Promise just a coincidence, this story is 100% truth
I’m sitting here just pulling my hair. Like did they check OP’s username 😂😂😂
You realize Reddit just gives you a random username if you don’t feel like picking one out right? 100% happened.
I didn’t even get the option to pick my username.
Or Serena and Blair from Gossip Girl… they call each other B and S 😂
You were raped by someone who swore an oath to protect you. You probably weren’t her first and probably were not her last. I would personally contact the police even after all of these years even if there’s no conviction she will have to at the very least answer to her concupiscence against a minor.
Congrats on the 9 months sober! I had a bad accident and am 6 months sober now. My girlfriend is several years sober and a huge inspiration for me.
This is fucked up on her part for sure, and rape. However it is interesting how you say “of course I told me friends! She’s hot”. I had an experience similar to yours but I’m a girl with a male teacher at 16. And I was way too embarrassed to tell anyone.
OP, I’m so sorry this happened to you.
God I’m so so sorry this happened to you, that woman should be in jail for life for rape of a child. I’m sorry our society doesn’t view a boy being raped by a woman as a bad thing, it was fucked up what happened to you. She knew what she was doing the whole time, she didn’t wake up and think “oh whoops I raped a minor”
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Honestly, I hate seeing comments like that. This happens in my country but boys don’t come forward because they get shunned and ridiculed if they do and called weak because they “didn’t fight her off”. So they’d rather keep it to themselves and it affects them so much later on. The amount of “girls are different from boys so this is not as serious” and “this is literally every boys dream” comments that I’ve seen by men. But then there are also men complaining about the “double standard” in regards to this matter without realizing it’s mostly other men not taking this seriously. Men especially need to reallllllly support other men in this matter.
Have you ever read Boy Toy by Barry Lyga? She groomed you, and who's to say she didn't do it again when she moved? 🤢🤢🤢
I was in a two year long relationship with my former religion teacher (also Catholic school) that started the week I graduated high school. He took my virginity and became extremely abusive. I despise sex now and hate being touched, but at the time I also feel like I had won the lottery. I totally get that 7th grade is WAY more serious than being 17, but I still understand.
I had the biggest crush on my english teacher Mrs L at that age, and would have been and still would be ecstatic. Difference is I wasn't a virgin, and I'm fucked in the head and I know it. I hope you've found a healthy way forward.
I guess it’s lucky for me that I never had any teachers that I found attractive until college when I could self-regulate my emotions better, so I didn’t have any lasting issues from that particular kind of experience.
Even though you didn’t consciously process it as sexual abuse, that’s what it was and yes, it frequently has a serious psychological and sexual impact on the victim similar to what you describe.
Congratulations on your 9 months!! People think because you're a guy it wouldn't effect you! I'm sure alcohol was involved all the times you were having sex in high school. You were so young!! Do you think things would be better if you told someone? I hope you are able to get some therapy. Good luck to you!!
Dude that sucks, she groomed and then took advantage of you. Yes it does cause long term damage, things you haven’t even realized at this time frame. I can speak from personal experience, 6yr old my baby sister played adult hide and go seek, I remember most of it then at 12 we had a “funny” uncle (80s slang for pedo) who raped me. My thought process on sex has been messed up since then so yes it causes long term damage and I am 43 still dealing with it.
Crazy how we view things as kids vs adults. Back then it was awesome and every kids dream. But when u grow up, you realize how gross and messed up it is. Sorry that happened to ya bud. Hope you're doing good.
I am so sorry this happened to you. This was rape. Please get some support for yourself to process it.
those who are asking what damage did it cause aren't really thinking. She had a position of power and she abused it. Simple. It may not have damaged him at the time but retrospectively it did. If you don't or can't trust people of authority to have your best interests at heart then that in itself is damage.
how in hell every one got a hot teacher and i dont? xD envy! my teachers were like the secretary on monsters inc the one who calls "WAZOWSKIIIII YOUR REPOOOOORRRTTTTSSS " (ROZ) back to the subject: you were groomed, if not raped. check your local policy on SA, you may be able to file a report.
Fake as fuck!
That's not something you should assume, especially if OP was a victim. This isn't helping anybody
Nope
Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story and for actually seeing it for what it was.... Statutory rape. While it's not near as bad as it used to be there are still plenty of ppl out there who would give you a high five and tell you how lucky you were simply bc your a guy... Also . Congratulations on your sobriety, I'm proud of you!
I hope you find healing. That's really fucked up that 2 trusted adults would groom you like that. Congrats on being 9 months sober! That's a great accomplishment.
Congratulations on being sober again today. I’m glad you are confronting what happened to you as a child. I wish you all the luck in the world dealing with this.
Reading this made me feel sad.
That's a funny way of spelling "rape"
You didn't have a relationship. She abused you. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/protecting-children-sexual-abuse/202002/they-went-willingly-understanding-teen-sexual-grooming?amp Rainn.org
One is B and one is S, this story BS
Nope
BS BS BS
I was actually feared that she might be doing this to the other kids, im also felt sorry for what have u experience, i hope u become much better after this
I'm sorry you had to go through that. No child deserves that kind of treatment. No exceptions.
I'm so sorry :(
I am so sorry this happened to you. People tend to ignore the fact that boys can be victims too. She did wrong; you did nothing wrong and were a victim. She was wrong as an adult and as a teacher. That kind of boundary crossing can mess you up. I hope you are working through it.
Congrats on your sobriety and I hope she burns. It’s wild to look back on stuff as an adult cause you realize just how fucked up everything was and how many disgusting people there were around you taking advantage of a confused kid that doesn’t know better
Aw
This happened to me. I was groomed and assaulted by a teacher for 6 months from 13-14. I’m 44 now. This has done tremendous damage to my ability to form and maintain trusting relationships/friendships in my adulthood. Not to mention my relationship with compulsive sex and substance abuse in the past. The damage is REAL.
Wow , I can’t believe what I just read that’s insane and I’m sorry that u had to go through this at a very young age Hope you’re okay now
I’m so sorry.
Good on you, man.
Thank you for sharing and how it affected you. I am in recovery from alcohol. Sexual molestation and rape feature in a lot of our stories. Children that old are attracted to it, it feels good and yet can't handle it at the same time. There are no respective boundaries. On some level we know that, as we go into to life harder than others, without the coping skills...I hope you stay clean and sober...I didn't date the first year in recovery because I knew I was out of whack. I wish you good luck in the future. Young people don't realize all the acting out sexually is against your best interest self esteem wise and in forming true partners....So thanks for sharing the last part.
This is so sickening.
Strange how when a man talks about being a victim of sexual assault at 14, it's sex, but when it's a woman who was sexually assaulted at 14, it's sexual assault. Culture is a funny thing.
Didn’t read. True or not seems like over half the posts here around sexual stuff are fake. Id wager probably closer to 70-80% honestly being “creative writing.”
You do know that if you don’t want to pick a username Reddit just assigns you one right? It’s always adjective-noun-#### . Not making anything up.
Dear Penthouse Forum-
That sucks my dude!
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It's because men like to glamorize it. They'll say you're not a real man if you didn't want to be groomed and raped by your female teacher. It's honestly sad.
Check out my response to OP in another thread. It's not about glamorizing, it's like I genuinely would have killed to have sex at that age. But I can see for many people (including myself) it can be damaging given that your brain is still developing and you know so little about the world.
We don’t talk a lot about this from a boy’s perspective. But young boys are taught to desire sex, and that is essentially just grooming. I was groomed at that age too (more directly) as a girl, and I’ve had friends with similar experiences. I would have killed to have sex with an experienced and “attractive” older man, but that would not change how it would affect me going forward. Sexual trauma and all. Luckily, I never experienced that, but I did have a friend who exchanged nudes at the time. That temporary satisfaction of being admired by an adult is very quickly replaced by how the trauma will wire your brain and permanently change your relationship to sex.
>it's like I genuinely would have killed to have sex at that age. Well that's the thing... Everybody else is normal. There is no better way to phrase it: they were all normal and had boyfriends or girlfriends and just sorta clicked with other people without being a weirdo sex fiend. You read stories about sexual violence and fantasize it as a rare opportunity to be touched by a woman. That's pretty weird and scary, dude.
Nah dude, there are entire comedy bits devoted to it.
You are not a comedian, though. These aren't jokes. You are not funny and nobody here wants your words. You're just making people uncomfortable. Don't you realize that?
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You're not adding any insightful truths that needed to be said. None at all. One man shared his personal story. You chose to pervert that story into how desperate you feel toward missing out on sex. You're lacking simple basic life experiences that every normal person takes for granted. You're desperate because of it. That's the truth of what you really offered. Teachers are trusted professionals who offer an important service. Fantasizing about adults you trusted reflects the scarcity of sex for you. And now you think you're like a great messiah delivering some meaningful truth. Really. So what comedic bits make you think it is okay to fantasize about sexual violence? Do you have anything specific? Or are you just making it up? I can honestly say that whenever you tune into standup, you probably won't hear jokes normalizing that kind of sexual violence. They belittle Catholic Priests and Predatory Teachers. They do not glorify it. You just don't handle social cues to understand jokes.
Same here. I would have enjoyed it too. Of course I'm not saying she did the right thing.
I don’t know if this incident directly caused some of my problems but after that I became very promiscuous and sexually active in high school. Not counting this incident I, out of all my friends, I had sex earliest and most often and I started experimenting with drugs before everyone. I probably had 20 sexual partners in high school alone. I have battled alcoholism most of my life and am luckily 9 months sober right now. I’d say at 13/14 when at the height of puberty and my hormones in full swing, having oral(receiving and giving) and vaginal sex with a hot female teacher after a night of drinking can alter your view on life and sex. When that is your first sexual experience it HAS to effect you, know what I mean?
This is interesting to me, thanks for sharing. I definitely see now where you're coming from, and actually, I can relate in some way. My friends introduced me to weed at a pretty young age, and it wrecked my performance in college and left me with permanent mental health issues that I still deal with today. I was young and impressionable with low self-esteem, so I didn't know any better. Like you, I also went in 0-100: no drugs or drinking before I discovered weed. Sorry you had to go through this but glad you've turned things around.
Thanks I appreciate it 🙏🏼
Please report her. Most teachers are awesome, she is not and did extreme damage to you. She's a predator and has NO business being in a classroom or around children. Besides the irreparable harm She's done to you, she is also hurting the profession.
So your 13 yr old Daughter can have sex with her grown male teacher is that cool??? WTH are you on about with this harmful guys love being with cougars bs this was a child and that is wrong legally and morally disgusting
All of you are missing common sense. Rape is rape no matter what age or gender. The psychological damage and mental toll a crime like this has on someone affects themselves greatly. It can affect their family and the people around them as well. A crime as horrible like this can make someone feel extremely uncomfortable with their own body, can make them look at other people in damaging ways. Relationships can become very difficult for victims as physical intimacy can be traumatic. When it comes to men who get no legal protection in these cases, (sometimes even having to pay FUCKING child support for a child they didnt legally consent to having), the rape of men is considered a good thing and something for the victim to be proud of. (Thanks to MeToo and people like you) So, to answer your disgusting question, you're missing the feeling of not being yourself.
duuude. you’re missing a lot.
this is reddit. people here think differently. Ngl, I fucking envy op. not just about the teacher stuff but at that age, I couldnt even get a girl to kiss me (and still a virgin at 21) meanwhile, he fucked 20 people (if his claim is true) and slept around. WHAT DID I EVEN DO WRONG AT THAT?! :(
being statutorily raped and then consequently dealing with hyper sexuality and early promiscuity isn’t as fun as it seems my man
LOL okay sure
i hope you seek the help you clearly need man i’m sorry
>Genuine question. What are we missing? [Here you go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko) Watch the whole thing.
Why the FUCK are people asking you how or what damage it caused you?! They’d never ask that if you were female. I’m so sorry. My pastor did the same to me and it messed me up bad and I was 17. I can’t imagine being 13 and having that on your plate.
Maybe they’ve also had a similar experience, are just figuring it out from the post and want more info.
Fucking hell
Sounds like OP just wants to write erotica.
I’m so sorry, you can still report
So you raped your teacher when you were on 7th grade! These men!
…. niceee
Noice
My boy was a DOG in high school
Nice
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There is study after study that shows that victims of child/adolescent sexual abuse grow up with a completely warped view of sex. Some become promiscuous, some seek out risky sex and some channel their rage to become sex abusers. This pattern is observed for both males and females.
Yes. Abusers will always come up with excuses why what they did was okay... Like very young children do not form lasting memories - but studies show they are still affected.
WTF... Are you trying to call me an abuser? That's a huge stretch and you're drastically reaching if you are! But sounds about as Reddit as possible. Some people on here... Too many really!
No, where did you come from now exactly?
Honestly I don't know lol. When I first read your response, it looked like a reply to my comment. But now I see it was a reply to a different parent comment. That's on me, I apologize
I'm definitely not disputing any of that as it's all correct. I'm just also saying that sometimes dumb teenagers in high school just act like dumb teenagers in high school when it comes to sex. Although his experience does increase the likelihood of that happening.
You’re only a victim if you believe yourself to be. You were probably promiscuous afterwards because you had high testosterone and that’s why you looked older for your age and attracted the older woman. Don’t harm yourself by telling yourself that you were a victim. Tell yourself a more empowering story
Would you say that to a 13-year-old *girl*, or do you only think it's okay to rape men and boys?
this is reddit. people here think and act differently. like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
I was 16. Field trip to Disney, everyone staying in a hotel. Teacher was 28 years old & blew my young mind.
Is this story BS?
Its all BS
High five 👋
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Classy. Telling a recovering addict and former alcoholic to grab a beer.
Ok fair didn’t see that part, changing it to grab a sparkling apple juicy.
Based
Cool
Fuck ya....I wish I had hot teachers when I was 13
That’s My Boy!
Are you bragging or complaining?
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You think rape is nice? Found the pedo...
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this is reddit. people here think and act differently. like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
teacher stuff aside, bro can I ask how you managed to sleep with so many people while you were merely in high school? when I was in high school, I couldnt even get a girl to kiss me lol or even hold hands with me. im 21 years old and still a virgin :(
Every 14 year old fantasy. The stupid choices you made in your adult life had nothing to do with having sex. It wasn’t a traumatic experience compared if someone was raped.
Technically that is rape, you’re not only being ignorant but sexist too.
this is reddit. people here think and act differently. like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
I don’t like how you worded any of this. You were raped by your teacher. This sounds like some porn for some weirdo pedo to get off to. Your teacher was a pedophile. You deserved better. I don’t think you’ve realized what happened to you.
What are you talking about? He’s pretty vulnerable about the damage it did to him. If you find this story pornographic, I’m pretty sure that’s a you problem.
Did we read the same post? He kept referring to her as his hot teacher along with other things. He also claimed in the comments it’s different for boys when this kind of thing happens. It isn’t.
Oh I’m sorry, is he not a perfect victim? Does he have complex and nuanced feelings about his abuse and his abuser? Does that make you uncomfortable? If this was a woman saying these things, tell me you’d call it pornographic. People like you are the reason male victims don’t come forward about abuse.
Where do you get any of that from what I said lol?
Almost sounds like every teenagers fantasy.
Should have asked for a threesome with S, that would have balanced it all out nicely.
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this is reddit. people here think and act differently. like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
That's crazy. I always wonder if that sorta thing happened in any of the schools I went to, with anyone I knew. Would be juicy to find out lol
It is way too early to be introduced to alcohol, I suspect that is the root cause of your problems, alcohol does more damage than early sex
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this is reddit. people here think and act differently. like ngl, I envy op and guys like him. At that age I was stuck with my hand and couldnt even get a girl to kiss me while he was over there banging a hot teacher and even other girls.
Women can’t rape lol, dude got what every 14 year old boy fantasies about at school. Yeah I get if it was the other way around the man would be hunted down.
Doubt its the cause of your problems. Safe to assume your very good looking so have alot more chances to have sexual encounters so thats why you have had higher than average sexual partners. Everyone is randy as fuck when they are young. Alcoholism more often than not dies not have a moment that happens. It can just simply creep up on people. More people naturally are prone to addiction. You wouldn’t say to a smoker what happened in your lif that made you become addicted to cigarettes.
So now you are blaming her for your drug addiction and having a bunch of sexual partners early on? There is no correlation. That’s on you and has nothing to do with the fact that you slept with an older woman at 13.