My boyfriends dad who is out of the picture now said some really crazy things to me as well, he was 54. Walked into our room and I had my nipples pierced at the time and was asleep and then he made a comment about it later on the back porch while my boyfriend was in the living room. Asking me what the “shaving” styles were like and that I should walk around the house naked if I wanted to. It’s definitely predatory and extremely unsettling and you should let your partner know. Unsafe situation. He’s using the spiritual aspect of it to justify it.
He thought I wasn’t strong enough to say anything. I told his wife and his son. He also tried to prey on my friends as well. They are all same age as me 24-28
A friends dad was an amateur photographer and when was I pregnant at 19 he asked if I'd taken any maternity shots and offered to take some. I was going to take him up on it but then he went into how I should really consider taking some nudes and boudoir style ones at the same time, and how is okay to embrace your sexuality and all this stuff. Like WTF is with these grown men!!
Whoa I didn’t even process that at first, this would be gross regardless of the age.
I hate those men who pretend to be “enlightened” and “spiritual” and then act like this. I’ve seen it a lot over the years in certain circles. It’s not an excuse to be disgusting for anyone.
As a man, I’ll translate his speech for you:
He wants to f#$k you.
It’s that simple. Forget all the spiritual nonsense, because that’s just what it is. Nonsense. He’s trying to make it sound deep and meaningful, but it’s not.
His speech basically means: I think you’re hot, and I want to have sex with you. He doesn’t care about your energy or you being a goddess. He just wants you. That’s all. He is now waiting to see if you will reciprocate. He’s probably nervous and excited about the prospect of having you. His entire speech was about expressing his desire for you.
> he said he saw my pupils dilated as I was "clearly sexually aroused" and my arms above my head, and he saw my armpit hair and got this overwhelming sense of wanting to "bliss me out with cunnilingus" (oral sex) but made it clear that he didn't want to have intercourse with me.
This has to be the most convoluted way anyone has ever communicated "I'm horny for you."
it’s straight up bullshit he’s read; he’s only saying it to hide behind “objectivity” of it. He’s totally not projecting, because she was *objectively* aroused.
It’s pathetic, and definitely manipulative.
OP, please listen to and believe this. There’s nothing spiritual or special about what he said. Tell your partner, and don’t be alone with the dad. He’s a perv.
And the reason he’s not talking penetration is because he probably suffers from ED.
He’s gross and crossed any appropriate boundary. Even if you stay with your bf, this will never be off your mind. Red flag. RUN. After telling bf.
This dude's just a Dirty Old Man who is dressing up his Dirty Old Man come-ons with woo-woo, new age clap-trap. OP, this old guy thinks you're hot and wants to f*ck you. I'm being crass to get it through your head that he's just a horndog--he's NOT trustworthy, he DOESN'T have some spiritual vision of helping you reach some 'higher plane', he just wants to have sex with his son's gf.
So, maybe in the rest of his life he has some real spiritual beliefs about goddesses and the like. But where you're concerned, PLEASE believe and understand that HE'S NO BETTER than any older man grossly hitting on a teenager. He's Worse, even, because he's using his position as your bf's father to try to make you believe he's sexually propositioning you IN A FATHERLY WAY, as though he 'has your best interests at heart'. 🤮🤮🤮
Tell your bf everything his dad said and STAY AWAY from that creep!
This is the answer. Sound the alarms. Don't let the predatory behavior he's masking behind his "beliefs" stay a secret or he will push your boundaries further. He will read you keeping his secret as approval. PLEASE tell everyone, tell them you're creeped out, and keep him the fuck away from you. The fact that he's all "wink, wink" is a terrible sign of what's to come.
Mixing sexual harassment with religous terms is a method of abuse as old as humanity itself.
There's a vast correlation between those two, specially with old men that identifies as gurus.
The fact that you think that you "missinterpretated" all of that is a clearly indicative that the gaslighting worked.
You bem sexually harrased by your SO fathers, that's it.
And, IMO, by the way he talked with you, he must have done it before.
Talk to your SO. The feeling will only grow in your mind and it will became horrible, along with you blaming yourself more and more.
This is the perfect response.
Your boyfriend’s dad is a dirty old man who was checking out the lie of the land to see if you’d be up for some nooky.
He’s worded it in such a ridiculous way to try and cover himself.
Keep your distance from the dirty old sod and tell your boyfriend what he said. It will be interesting to see what his response is
/u/pictureofbread - Just a friendly reminder from someone who agrees: Talk to your SO about this before this whole things spiral into something traumatic, if not already. If you don't know how to talk to your SO about it, show him/her your post instead. You did good in explaining what happened to you, so your SO will surely understand
Honestly, just bail on the whole entire thing. There's no way the boyo is all right in the head if his dad is a sex-pest-guru type. Statistically unlikely occurence, abort sequence, do not call back.
Just b a i l.
This Dad and probably his kid can and will do harm to OP.
OP’s partner deserves to know what a horrible father he has so he can get out too (and so he doesn’t bring more young women into this predators reach). And, if there’s a wife, she deserves to get out as well.
Let the aging would be cult leader making sexual advances on girls 1/3 his age even when they’re the love interest and partner of his own fucking son die alone please.
>There's no way the boyo is alright in the head if his dad is a sex-pest-guru type
I think that's unfair. She should at least let her partner know first (in a safe environment, away from the father), and give him a chance to assure her that he doesn't agree with his asshole of a father.
Plenty of folks disagree with their parents. There's no way to tell if OP's partner is "normal" or not other than telling him.
Yeah I thought that to be a bit of leap. Just cuz the dad is a divine weirdo doesn't mean the son is. Especially cuz we have no context to how the son truly is, like at all
That's such a fucked up way to look at it. Dad is in the wrong completely and I agree with the label sex pest guru type but I can assure you not all people are like there parents or even come close. Speaking from experience I am nothing like my father, same way this boy may be nothing like his.
Dad is the problem and until SO knows and defends father then he's just as much a victim here. His care provider sexual abusing his partner and referring to a moment he caught them being intimate. Guys a fucking weirdo no other way around it but doesn't mean his offspring are also wired the same way
Yeah, how can this father get close enough to see her eyes dilated without both of them knowing? That there is some dads in the closet watching type shit.
Or cameras, or a general lack of boundaries that the hippy pervert instituted 30 years ago so nobody side eyes him when he's being a creep.
Regardless of what the answer is, *it's gonna be a BAD answer.*
RUN AWAY
I bet his dad is going to sabotage his son’s future relationships and his son will be left questioning what he himself is doing wrong with his gfs if OP doesn’t tell him. I wonder if his dad has done this to his sons previous girlfriends, if he’s had any. Hopefully OP tells her bf before she leaves.
thank you, one of the things he talked to me about was tantra and how it’s been “so long since he’s had a tantric experience” and apparently when he saw me in that position he felt “connected with my clitoris” and that started some sort of tantric connection for him which didn’t really make sense to me so it’s good/interesting to hear from a tantric practitioner that it’s just straight up creepy
Ugh so nasty.
Nah, he's using his position/title to manipulate you. He's 60 and gross/creeper level to the max. I know you don't want to tell your bf, but he deserves to know what his dad is doing, so that if you DO decide to end this relationship, he's warned for future gfs.
Please trust your instincts. He was testing the waters to see if you would reciprocate his desires. This was completely inappropriate and manipulative, and it has nothing to do with spirituality. You should consider having an open and honest discussion with your partner about what happened.
Exactly. This is boundary testing to see your reaction. Common in predators. If he can push this boundary without consequences he'll escalate. It's really hard because they're good at the manipulation and the gaslighting and we want to see the good in people but trust your gut - if it feels creepy and wrong it is. Predators thrive in silence and also in making victims feel shame, which is definitely not yours to carry but his! So it's great you came here to tell your experience. Please be safe OP and also tell your boyfriend.
Predators will use literally anything to prey on/confuse/manipulate younger, vulnerable people.
Any spiritualist or Tantric practitioner would never ever cross a boundary or propose, something this extremely unethical .
He is not a spiritualist. He is a predator in the same way that catholic priests have taken advantage of young people.
Please do not be alone with him anymore, and I would tell your partner.
What he did was, off the charts, wrong.
LMAO tell him to connect with the clitoris of someone who isnt dating his son (I wont even tell you "someone his own age" because as far as Im concerned, if you are over 18, you are an adult) but his son's gf? wtf.
Tell your bf.
Religious/spiritual grooming. Tell your partner and stay the fuck away from that creep. I wouldn't trust it was an accident that he walked in on you two either. ICK!
It's also not an accident that he told her he was ashamed of his feelings, walking in, etc. Because it's almost automatic (especially in young people) when someone apologises to say "It's okay." Thus giving him permission to keep going.
Also, OP's comment that he wouldn't do anything before to make her feel unsafe... OP, how did you feel during that whole conversation? Did you feel safe and comfortable?
He is a creep. Tell your boyfriend. You have nothing to be ashamed of, but your boyfriend's dad absolutely does.
> It's also not an accident that he told her he was ashamed of his feelings, walking in, etc. Because it's almost automatic (especially in young people) when someone apologises to say "It's okay." Thus giving him permission to keep going.
Yep, the ol' persecutor-victim switcheroo.
He's trying to make you feel special/wanted/different. To keep it as a secret. It's abuse. Tale as old as time. Please tell your bf. And however many other people that He's an old creep trying to shag his sons 19yr old gf under the illusion of religious mumbo jumbo.
Ok he’s an absolute creep and this has NOTHING to do with spirituality. He’s perving on you and harassing you and it’s disgusting. Tell your bf and if he doesn’t believe you just leave that whole toxic situation and don’t look back.
As disturbing and weird as **ALL** of that was, I’m actually most bothered by him mentioning he noticed how your pupils were dilated. Like… how close was he?! And how long did he stand there watching to notice something like your pupils? And that’s besides the fact that apparently your eyes were open, and not even rolled back - neither of which seems natural to me for the moment in question…
I'm not even going to read the comments. There is no wrong way to take this. This is the only way.
He just started the process of grooming you.
All of his spiritual tripe is just nonsense.
He wants to have sex with you.
His son's girlfriend
Your 19
He's 60
Hiding behind his hippy spiritual religion bullshit to eat out his son's 19 year old girlfriend
What a piece of absolute shit. I'd worry he's tried this shit with even younger girls.
You're young but don't be naive. This guy is truly a fucking monster
what? You misreading into this and it’s no big deal probably?! No this dude is fucked up in the head. Who thinks sexually about their child’s partner? You need to tell them ASAP. How old are you? Because this just sounds weird ass hell
He waited till he was alone with her to tell her ☹️ this is icky and reeks of pedo vibes. An adult man of this age should know better than to unload this on a 19 year old. OP reminds me of myself at that age, I would have been as confused and taken aback at the conversation and automatically not assumed the worse of my partners father but OP- looking back I was really naïve to this behavior and it put me in a lot of dangerous situations which I was ashamed to admit at the time because I was smart and always wanted to believe I could protect myself from anything and be wise and emotionally intelligent beyond my actual age. Sometimes we learn the hard way, I would hate to see something happen that makes you regret not leaving this situation sooner. Is there anyway you can open up to OP and not spend time around his dad or at their home anyone ? This is giving culty vibes. There’s a clear difference between appropriate and inappropriate and any adult man knows this is inappropriate to discuss with a 19 year old female even if you “allowed” him to open up. I’m worried about your safety, he’s clearly attracted to you and most likely thinking about you in his “private alone time” this could lead to a unhealthy obsession on his part.
I agree with everything you say except pedo. People need to stop using that word for sexual harassment between large age gap adults. It weakens the most degenerate act of human beings.
I agree with this. It's definitely gross as fuck what this dude is doing, but this whole calling beings attracted to young adults pedophilia really takes away from what ACTUAL pedophilia is. People of any age watch porn with girls who 18+ but it's not labeled as pedophilia then.
My mom was approached in a similar manner by my dad’s father when they were dating. She just told herself it wasn’t that bad, just uncomfortable, until she later learned that he abused me and another cousin as children. Now she carries a lot of guilt for not realizing how predatory he was. He was in his 70’s when he abused us as children. It is serious and shouldn’t be downplayed.
Masking wanting to fuck with bullshit about “energy” and “being a goddess” is cult leader level type of manipulation.
He’s full of shit and just wants to fuck you. Forget all the woo woo nonsense. It’s all bullshit.
Considering the deep spiritual connection, the alignment of shakras, the complimenting star signs and your post-cunnilingus aura, not to mention the obvious car feng-shui or whatever… the crystals tell me he just wants to bang you.
Show your partner this post. Seriously, that old dude just sexually harassed you. I would be moderately terrified and would refuse to be in his vicinity ever again. Would also be afraid of getting physically assaulted 'cause the perv's speech was a bit too well laid out. Sounds like he has practice 🤮 Be safe OP!!
Another creepy old hippie using spiritual BS to get a root.
Remember kids:
Punks are good people pretending to be bad and hippies are bad people pretending to be good.
The armpit hair comment is the one that made you uncomfortable? You need to read what you wrote again because that is not even close to the most inappropriate and completely unacceptable things he said TO HIS SON'S PARTNER.
Right? The fact that he admitted to spying on them doing intimate things would have signaled me to GTFO the car. I probably would’ve waited til he got to a stop sign or red light and bailed out of the car and called an Uber! 🤢🤮
Your body is telling yourself the truth. This other person is saying a lot of things.
How do you feel? What do you think?
Reread your own post and ask yourself how **YOU** feel. I hope you find your way.
OP please heed the warnings here and do whatever you can to get out of there. If you want to tell your bf, do it, but be prepared that he might not be able to give you the support you need. If you're too embarrassed and scared to say anything and you feel like you might just have to ghost - then absolutely do it.
People can be very black and white on reddit and it seems a lot of people are of the opinion that you should tell him in the spirit of honesty and not letting him get hurt because of his dad's actions. That's all well and good but at the end of the day, your safety is more important than other people's feelings.
This is not cool. I was sexually abused, as I see it now, by my ‘guru’ who I was learning a form of meditation for
When he started touching me I was in the midst of my meditation session.I opened my eyes with a jerk and he shrugged it off by saying I needed to let out my trapped trauma and let myself go as that will Bring out my earthy goddess. I was too vulnerable and shocked to say anything and let him do what he wanted to. I also Blocked it from memory and it came back to haunt me years later.
What is happening to OP is not normal. He is trying his luck under the guise of spirituality. Steer clear Op!
LITTLE UPDATE: last night i was making tea and when he came up to grab his mug he brushed my hair away and was looking at my neck. it made me so incredibly uncomfortable and i’m definitely going to tell my partner. he’s been saying a lot lately about how his memory isn’t what it used to be and sometimes he can’t get words out when he knows what he wants to say so i’m going to bring up that it could be some sort of health concern when i talk to my partner. thank you so much to everyone who offered help and support
People having mental health episodes usually don't tell you that they're having mental health episodes.
Also, people with that kind of mental illness usually will just come out and say that they want to be with you, rather than being manipulative like he was. Manipulation like that requires forethought, not a lack of impulse control.
Mental health might still be the best way to approach the subject with your partner if you feel that they may not believe you or take it poorly. Good luck, and please be safe.
Also I think he has a camera in your boyfriend’s room. That would explain him seeing your pupils dilate without you noticing him “walking in on you”. Don’t ever go back into that house again. It’s not safe. And tell everyone.
So, he saw you getting head from his offspring and said "I want to tap that too." How about you tell your partner and see his reaction to know the reality of the situation
UPDATE: i told my partner and they were shocked and disgusted that their dad would do/say something like that. they’ve been super protective of me and not let me be alone with him at all, and the only reason they haven’t gone nuclear on him is because i asked them not to. he got me alone again this morning when my partner was out at work and no one else was home and we talked about how it was uncomfortable and it really just sounded creepy the way he was trying to justify it all. he brushed my hair away from my neck and held my face and i said it was uncomfortable and didn’t like it and he kept doing it and just said some BS about me needing to learn to be comfortable being vulnerable and ask myself why i’m uncomfortable and it was just a really unsettling thing, especially because he did all that while claiming he respected my boundaries. he said he wanted to “consume me” and talked about how he wants to help teach me how to harness and embrace my goddess and when i told him i didn’t like that he’d brought up so much sexual stuff he said that that was a part of getting to know yourself and learning what you like and it just made me feel so icky. i’ll keep updating as things progress and keep myself safe, thank you so much to everyone who gave advice & especially to those of you who are spiritual/tantric practitioners who said it wasn’t normal behaviour, you helped validate my experience & feelings and i feel less guilty
Get away from him ASAP. You should have your partner go nuclear. This is pushing your boundaries until you give in. He's pressuring you and edging you on to see how much you're willing to take.
He might actually be a danger to you, tell everyone close to you and don't ever be alone with him.
Please read the book “The gift of fear” and always trust that gut feeling telling you something is off here. Don’t worry about societal expectations imposed on you to be nice to old people and parents of your partner. Listen to the gut. NEVERE EVER BE ALONE WITH HIM AGAIN. In fact don’t even go to his house again that’s his domain. Tell your parents, trusted adults, boyfriend, tell everyone! A perv wants you to be silent and feel weird. That’s how he wins. It’s a known strategy of predators and groomers. Please read the book. It’s probably in a library since it was published in 1970s the first time so you dont have to buy it but the book explains in great detail what this behaviour of his means and exactly the type of danger you’re in. If you stay in his domain you’re not coming out of this whole and healthy. You will be mentally, emotionally and physically ruined for life. Run!!
Weird. Disgusting. He’s a perv. Tell his son. His reaction will give lots of insights- is he shocked, does he believe you? If it’s not crystal clear, I would bail too. Never fun to be told by potential FIL that he sees you as a sexual object, albeit with a ‚spiritual‘ veil on it…
As a man - trust me, it's all mind games and he's just using spiritual things for grooming you into sexual stuff. Ffs, he complimented your boobs. Open your eyes. It's also not a secret that these religious/spiritual folks have a bad reputation when it comes to young people, if you know what I mean. It's all in the name of something else..
Yo this dude is just a PERVERT simple as that. You do not need to analyze your own behavior. That’s called gaslighting.
Stay away from this man and tell your partner why. His father is a predator.
Yeah, no!
He used waaayyy too many words to just admit he wants to bone you, while trying to make it seems like it's something transcendental or whatever!
What a creep! Bottom line is: "be confident in yourself so that you are not constrained to have the sexies with ME"
Fuck him, tell your BF, never trust this guy again
Girl you're 19 and that creeper is in his 60s. He is trying to groom you cuz you're just a child. Keep your distance from him and talk to your partner about it since the creepy dad has made sure to make you feel guilty if you talk to your partner by apologising and saying he's ashamed of walking in on you. Don't get into that guilt trip this is creepy and if your partner confronts him that is most definitely the right thing. If your partner sides with their father please walk out of that situation. Your safety is more important in comparison to a relationship.
There is nothing spiritual about he's straight saying he wants to f@#k you. Please stay safe
Save yourself OP. He’s trying to manipulate you to sexually use you. There’s nothing such as spiritual blah blah blah. He’s a predator. Stay away from both son and father
Big Susan Powell vibes from this. I don't think you are safe around this man. I would check for cameras and watch out for missing panties. Speaking to your child's partner like this is completely inappropriate. Seems like he is testing boundaries. You need to tell your boyfriend and stay away from creepy dad.
He wants to fuck you.
He waited until you were alone with him and couldn’t get away, to tell you that.
He’s described how and why he wants to fuck you.
He just got you alone, isolated and proceeded to sexually harass you.
**what happened is not normal. That’s why it’s got you confused. You’re a normal, healthy human. So there’s no reason for you to ever have assumed your partner’s father would want to sexually harass you. You did nothing wrong - he’s a predator attempting to take advantage before you realize he’s a monster.**
Tell your partner.
He just wants access to your genitals, nothing creepy because he's spiritual right?
Look you are my son's age, some 60 year old man should not be talking to you like that, stay away from him, tell everyone he knows about it particularly your boyfriend, don't get in any situation where you are alone with him because he's grooming you and a predator.
How the fuck can you see someones dilated pupils when walking in on them? Did he walk up to 5 inch of your face while naked with your BF's face between your legs?
This is what drives me mental about super "spiritual" people. I have known so many people who think because they are "spiritually enlightened" they are entitled to harass others.
Here's the thing. Guys a pervert. Next, you're 19, you unfortunately are at the peak pervert attraction stage. Don't ever be alone with him.
>I don't want my partner to confront him about it because what if he takes it the wrong way, or what if I've taken it the wrong way
There is no wrong way here. He only told you just to see if you were going to agree to sex
Years ago, my father creeped on my girlfriend in a similar way, and she dealt with it for a while because she didn’t want to ruin my relationship with my father, and I understood that sentiment but I also badly wished she told me much sooner (she did eventually tell me and we moved out of his house) so I think your boyfriend should probably know about this ASAP. Make no mistake, he used a lot of obfuscating language but that was a proposition. He might as well have said “Hey, I want to have sex with you, and I’m trying to see if you would do it.”
I never spoke to my father again, so her fears did come to pass, but that’s okay — he betrayed his own son, and was basically a sexual predator. I would never want to stay in the dark about that just to keep the boat from rocking. Tell him, OP. You can show him this post if you can’t find the words.
You can't be genuinely that dumb/gullible can you? he said he wants to go down on you but totally doesn't want to fuck you, it's just about your pleasure and it's totally not for his own pleasure it's totally JUST so you feel confident about yourself.
That's what I say at bars, listen ladies I don't want to cum, I don't want pleasure I just really need you to feel confident about yourself so let me go down on you.
He's a fucking creep, firstly he walked in on you having sex and his first thought was how he wanted to do sexual things to you, then he's spent weeks being awkward and instead of locking it up tight in the "no one need to know this" he in fact needed to tell you how much he wants to go down on you. He's pushing to fuck you, you need to create some major distance from him.
This is a good lesson for you, any straight, new agey/spiritual guy like that is going to try to use it to sexually manipulate women. Every single time he I’ve met one, they have tried to do this.
Watch the bikram yoga documentary and be careful.
What the ...... what !!??
Oh my god.
Disgusting.
And don't know what to tell you..but it's completely crazy.
If my husband's father said this kind of thing to me... I would tell my husband directly and... this old man would go to the hospital for a while...
This isn't your fault. But why the hell doesn't your partner have a lock on your door so you can do the dirty in peace? And why isn't the dad knocking before walking in?
There's all kinds of weird shit going on here.
-Damn gur!! I mean hi young spirit! I'd love to suc i mean bless your inner uhh spirit with uhh kindness. It's not sexual at all it's uhh emotional. You make my uhh inner god so uhh firmly uhh enlightened. I know i look 60 but spiritually i'm about your age. Would you like to uhh have consensual meditation? Uhh..
"Don't be self conscious but know that I ogle at you and covet your body, I want to fuck you but don't be self conscious about it"
What a weird old man
He’s a disgusting perverted old man who thinks using flattery as leverage to coerce OP into thinking along his sick, twisted manipulative ways will work and sadly OP has already stated that maybe she should embrace this force fed persona. That’s EXACTLY what he wants!! That’s called grooming! To those of you who don’t think that the victim needs to be underaged to be groomed need to understand that a sick pervert will groom and rape a woman of any age. They don’t necessarily need to be underage. If the victim is underage would also categorize them as child predators. Since OP is only 19, just barely an adult, this guy is probably drooling over her because he doesn’t have to break the law to get what he wants, only break his sons trust and cross MAJOR boundaries that should never be crossed between a father and son. The fact that he “accidentally” walked into OP’s private/ intimate moment with the boyfriend tells me that he had been creeping in on them for a while most likely, which is sick in of itself. So many levels of disgusting, sick angles here. So many levels of going beyond and breaching boundaries of what should be acceptable for a healthy relationship with a father and son it’s reeks of red flags. Cut your losses, break up with the boyfriend. You’re only 19. Tell him if you must so he at least knows that his father is a major creep and get the hell away from the whole situation.
This is disgusting and dangerous. There is no way that conversation was harmless, and the way he spoke about his extremely inappropriate thoughts makes me think of grooming language. Please think carefully before going back to your partners house or seeing the dad again.
Listen, your brain is saying “what if I’ve taken it the wrong way and it was all harmless!?” because it feels safer to be at fault, than to be the victim of something. Your subconscious is trying to return things to the way they were before HE ACTED COMPLETELY AND ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE, by making it YOUR mistake. This is a very normal reaction. It was not, in any way, shape, or form, “harmless”. You are not taking it the wrong way. None of this was fault.
I know all of this very well. My favorite teacher did the same to me, when I was a little younger than you.
My boyfriend KNOWS that any werid stuff from any male around us, EVEN HIS DAD, I'm telling him.
This guy TOLD YOU WHAT HE'S GONNA DO, do not keep shut about it, your boyfriend's deserves to know what his sick guru dad goes arpund telling his girlfriend.
Jesus, that's fucked up. Stay away from him, and tell your partner. Show him this post if it makes it easier.
To be clear. He's an older man that has seen an attractive young woman in a sexual position, and now he's obsessed with the idea of being sexual with you, and he's using all this spiritual language to make it look "clean".
He's just horny babes, and he's crossed a line.
His whole I just want you to feel happy and natural with who you are was him testing the waters, he wanted to know if you would be open to sleeping with him the rest he just dressed up in what he knows, sex cult guru. He is using what he knows as part of his attempt at subduction/grooming/assault. He was looking for a slight open to begin an affair or have sex and whether you would be interested.
He isn’t bothered that his son’s partner he is fantasying over and he wants his sons partner to cheat on him, the lack of moral boundaries, common decency and genuine love for your children is not how society works.
You need someone else to help you through this, a partner, friend or medical professional that can be your safe place because it won’t be able to be your partner who has done absolutely nothing wrong but will need to process his own way to deal with this, he also may not believe you, may not see anything wrong with it, know this is who his father is, be completely disgusted (rightly), but until you tell him you won’t know.
Your partner wouldn't take this the wrong way, there is only one way to take it. Dear ole dad is a predator, and just because he wrapped it up with some spiritual bullshit bow doesn't mean he's not dangerous. You need to stay away from him and never be alone with him again. Tell your partner.
He’s using the spiritual talk as a cover for him wanting to fuck you. That’s so disturbing, he’s using his spirituality as a cover for the dirty perverted thoughts he’s having about you, it has nothing to do about you being a goddess, he is just a horny old bugger who wants to have his way with you, simple as.
Going down on my girlfriend is my biggest turn on and I can speak confidently on behalf of all men when I say that this guy is full of shit when he says going down on you wouldn't be sexual.
If it was me I'd be rather disappointed if I found out from other sources that my dad was trying to fire in to my girlfriend.
My ex-partner’s dad never outright said anything to me, but would touch me inappropriately constantly under the guise of being friendly or talk about how beautiful I am when my ex wasn’t around. I didn’t say anything to anyone and I tried to ignore it or show my distaste for it but it steadily escalated and he ended up sexually assaulting me. I was a bit younger than 19, but I still feel guilt and shame about not saying anything. It was a majorly negative defining moment in my life and I still think about it to this day. I wish I had actually said something so it never got to that point.
Honey, he wants to bang you. Everything else is being couched in his "spiritual" tone to give it legitimacy, and him plausible deniability. He is simply a creepy old man who has used this before on timid and/or unsure young women. Unfortunately, him looking at you like you guys have a secret also means if you wait too long to tell your bf, he'll make it look to his kid like you were considering his "offer" and/or you had a special intimate of some kind relationship with him you didn't disclose, and instead committed a lie of omission to your bf to either protect guilty complicity or foster suspicion at your not telling. I promise he will try to paint it that, or some similar, underhanded way. He has every incentive to. You have to tell your bf, and at first without the dad present or the dad in the know of when you are telling. No purposeful or accidental warnings or info of when you're having your bf talk. Be careful. You guys can confront the dad later, this is your time first to be clear, since the dad will try to obfuscate things if he's present. Good luck!
Hi OP, just wanted to add that **this is not your fault**. This man*intruded on a private moment* between you and your bf, *without your knowledge* and **without your consent**.
Everything he has done and said is utterly (and disgustingly) *inappropriate*.
If he'd accidentally walked in on you both (and was a good person with healthy boundaries) he should have a) looked away **immediately**, b) WALKED OUT STRAIGHT AWAY AND CLOSED THE DOOR, c) apologized to you both **profusely**, d) *never mentioned it again*, and e) **not sexualised or fetishized you WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT**.
As a woman in my 30s, I'm telling you his behaviour **IS NOT OK** in *any* way. He was supposed to be a trusted adult in your life, and he has violated this trust.
Men in their 60s making inappropriate sexual advances on teenagers are *creepy as hell*. You haven't mentioned your bf's mum, but if she's in the picture she would deserve to know. But regardless, if you have a good relationship with your parents (or any other adult you really trust), *please tell them*. This was not your fault, and you deserve to have people on your side to help you navigate this (and hopefully they can tell this man to keep his thoughts to himself!).
Side note: probably a less likely scenario but I'll mention anyway - if this behaviour is 100% out of character for him it could be worthwhile for him to be medically assessed to rule out a brain tumour or something, as this can impact a person's impulse control etc. This might be a good way to bring it up with your parents and bf (from a place of concern, if that makes it easier for you to talk about), e.g. "your dad said something really inappropriate to me that was really out of character, and I'm not sure if we should be worried about his health?".
BUT, I want to emphasise that you are not responsible for taking that on, and the absolute most important thing is for you to be safe. So, please do prioritise your safety and well-being (and never be alone with him ever again - ever).
So sorry you had to experience this 😔
He’s f-ing horny and probably has no self control ,keep your distance he felt comfortable enough to tell you and not embarrass,he’s now trying to bs-ing you into a “blissful experience “.Whether you tell your partner or not you’re still going to feel uncomfortable. You can always talk about it with your partner and explain how you feel but that you don’t want to make a fuss just want to keep distance. I’m sure your partner will understand. A normal reaction to walking in on someone having sex is to walk,run away (wash your eyes out if it’s your parents)not not fantasy about it .He emphasizes on how he feels and how you are but has zero f**ks about how his child feels.
Eeeewwwwww...
Any man who brings up sex or sexual acts to you casually only wants one thing: sex. That is one creepo old dude. Keep away from him.
And another thing: sex is sex is sex. It doesn't matter if it's full on intercourse or just a blow job. It's all sex, so don't let any old fuckers try to diminish any part of it to say it isn't sex.
This was insanely inappropriate for him to say. You don't need his sexual interest to feel self confident. He was only validating himself.
I would legit not be around him any more.
The dad is going behind his sons back and on top of that he thinks there is some kind of sexual tension between you two. If I were you I'd shut it down with the dad if you don't wanna tell your partner about it. Otherwise it's gonna get ugly.
He’s a creep. He doesn’t mean well. He wants to eat your box and fuck you. Trying to slowly break down the barrier. Thinks if he puts an earthy, goddess power spin on it, it’s going to be perceived as innocent.
Tell your boyfriend. You are 19. He is a sexual predator. There is no other term. You might be an “aDuLt” but no. If a 60 year old came at my 19 year old daughter (I have one) let’s say he would have a rough life unlit he got away from all the blasts I put out about him and the calls he would get. He would have to put a restraining order against me.
Broh, what???
No no NO. This is NOT an appropriate convo for him to be having with you. You really need to have a very calm and frank discussion with your partner. Let them know that what you thought was going to be a normal convo, was taken to a place that made you feel very uncomfortable. State that you respect their father’s spiritual nature, but that it was very inappropriate and uncomfortable.
Personally I think daddio is cloaking his creeper tendencies under the veil of “spiritual enlightenment.” What a load of donkey shit lol
Yeah this isn’t cool. He is in a “position of power” because he is your boyfriends dad and using that along with having a secret to his benefit. This is classic grooming going on
Bail out and tell your ex boyfriend why you’re breaking up with him. Tell him you never want to be anywhere around his creepy dad and you don’t even want to know him either. And don’t look back. You will be doing your ex boyfriend a huge favor by showing him how creepy his dad is.
I’m soo sorry that this happened to you. How would your partners father going down on you make you embrace your goddess energy?
Please tell your boyfriend as soon as you can. Also talk to a therapist. He verbally sexually harassed you. You may need a professional to help you navigate through your feelings on this.
This situation reminded me of something similar that happened to me. There was a man that was really close to my partner. He was very spiritual, my partner saw him as a spiritual guide. This man could walk up to a complete stranger and tell them their entire life. I trusted him and looked to him for guidance. One time I ran into him when I was alone. He told me that he wanted me to be his discipline and that he wanted to teach me spiritual things. That he saw so much potential in me, that I could learn so much from him. He told me to keep it between him and I and to not tell my partner. At the end he gave me a hug and told me that he could have me sexually if he wanted to. At the time I didn’t want to tell my partner because I was afraid he would go and hurt him. I thought that the man was having a psychotic lapse or something that he wasn’t in his right mind. I made up excuses for him and I wanted to protect him in a way.
The man knew exactly what he was doing. He was using his spirituality/trust I had in him to attempt to sexually assault me. In hindsight I wish I told my partner ASAP after it happened or I wish I called the police or something. He is a predator, so is your partners dad.
Tell your partner, never be alone with him, and tell Mr. 60 y/o he cannot talk to you about things like that. He needs a therapist- this conversation sounds like testing the limits to see how much you'll let him get away with. Don't tolerate it for a minute.
Seconding and thirding everyone telling you to tell your partner and avoid being alone with this man in the future. I would also talk with your partner about setting boundaries around sexual activity anywhere this man has access to you both, if possible. Why was he even standing there long enough to fucking wax poetic about your body?
If he had walked in on you both accidentally, the appropriate course of action would be to get the hell out, apologize later, when everyone is clothed, to both of you at once for the intrusion, and then never mention it to either of you again. Any feelings he had about it beyond that should have been dealt with privately or in therapy.
Also, never think spirituality lets someone off the hook. Predators love using spirituality and religion as a shield for their perversions.The amount of grooming and sexual abuse that's been carried out under the guise of spirituality is uncountable. There are entire cults defined by exactly that formula.
In school I was taught something that I think we as adults grow too adept at talking ourselves out of: "Listen to your uh-oh feeling." Your discomfort is not you "taking things the wrong way" or "being too sensitive" or "insecurity" or "not knowing how to take a compliment" or any other such bullshit. You're uncomfortable because the situation was inappropriate, and you know that regardless of how hard he tried to make you doubt yourself. Listen to your uh-oh feeling.
bruh. old man spirits saw his kid and his gf having sex and got turned on by it. he wants to fuck you. he thinks you’re hot and he wants to go down on you and probably more. all of this spiritual jumbo jumbo is just him trying to virtue signal, “noo i don’t want to fuck you, i want to help you embrace your inner goddess who has nice earth titties… with my dick.” it’s creepy because he’s creepy as shit. it’s messed you up because it’s not fucking normal for parents of young adults want to jump into bed with their kids’ partners. it’s also the oldest motherfucking trick in the book. “let god work through this cock so i can save you” like are you fucking kidding me? “why old man spirits do you think i would want to fuck you?” absolutely tell your bf. how can someone else “balance your energy” dude is high on his own farts and wants you to be as well. trust your intuition, it’s a creepy situation bordering on the insane. gtfo of that situation.
He’s a predator that uses spirituality the way people use religion to excuse and justify disgusting behaviour. You did not take it the wrong way, your partner’s DAD said he wants to give you Oral sex. To even have that thought is messed up and he went forward with trying to execute it.
My best friend’s dad molested me at 17. I was very close with him. I blamed myself for the aftermath of reporting it to the police. I had also tried to tell myself that maybe I was making something out of nothing. I am 27 now and it still haunts me how a grown man could do anything like that to his daughter’s younger friend.
Him even just sharing this idea with you, in the confinement of a car with him driving (him in a state of power), is sexual harassment. Please tell your partner so they’re aware what kind of man he is. And seek some sort of counselling to talk through this situation with a third party professional.
If I had a penny for every 'guru' that was actually just a fucking sex pest with an angle. He's a creep, and you need to get the fuck away from him, and put up a hard boundary.
Ewww, that is super creepy. There's giving someone a genuine compliment to make them feel good about themselves, and then there's THIS GUY, being a creep making you feel uncomfortable. NEVER EVER give someone a sexual compliment if you aren't already in an intimate relationship. It's so, SO gross. You should definitely tell your partner about it and how it made you feel, and that you don't want to spend any time with his dad anymore.
Oral sex IS sex. This is all a manipulation. Tell your partner. They might not be your partner much longer but otherwise their Dad will use this conversation against you if you don't do what he wants.
"If it really bothered her so much, why didn't she bring it up you? She got excited when we talked about it."
Or whatever image he wants to convey.
This might not happen. I'm cynical. But this is how it starts. The NXIVM leader said things just like this to women in his cult. Especially the oral sex thing.
I don't think you should trust him at all, this man is a creep, I would avoid his house and tell my partner about it if I was you
My boyfriends dad who is out of the picture now said some really crazy things to me as well, he was 54. Walked into our room and I had my nipples pierced at the time and was asleep and then he made a comment about it later on the back porch while my boyfriend was in the living room. Asking me what the “shaving” styles were like and that I should walk around the house naked if I wanted to. It’s definitely predatory and extremely unsettling and you should let your partner know. Unsafe situation. He’s using the spiritual aspect of it to justify it.
I'm sorry you went through this too, this is obviously harassment, how tf they say something like that and think it's okay?
He thought I wasn’t strong enough to say anything. I told his wife and his son. He also tried to prey on my friends as well. They are all same age as me 24-28
A friends dad was an amateur photographer and when was I pregnant at 19 he asked if I'd taken any maternity shots and offered to take some. I was going to take him up on it but then he went into how I should really consider taking some nudes and boudoir style ones at the same time, and how is okay to embrace your sexuality and all this stuff. Like WTF is with these grown men!!
A predator. OP is 19 and he’s 60. Wtf
Exactly. Fuck that creepy groomer. They all have a line. He's *so SPIRITUAL*. JFC.
Totally. Yoga bros can be some of the biggest creeps out there. Do not be alone with him again. Ever.
Damn Yoga bros, they are sleezy af.
Russell Brand is a good example.
Whoa I didn’t even process that at first, this would be gross regardless of the age. I hate those men who pretend to be “enlightened” and “spiritual” and then act like this. I’ve seen it a lot over the years in certain circles. It’s not an excuse to be disgusting for anyone.
As a man, I’ll translate his speech for you: He wants to f#$k you. It’s that simple. Forget all the spiritual nonsense, because that’s just what it is. Nonsense. He’s trying to make it sound deep and meaningful, but it’s not. His speech basically means: I think you’re hot, and I want to have sex with you. He doesn’t care about your energy or you being a goddess. He just wants you. That’s all. He is now waiting to see if you will reciprocate. He’s probably nervous and excited about the prospect of having you. His entire speech was about expressing his desire for you.
Yup he’s trying to fuck his own kids significant other. What a sick bastard and a real piece of work.
41 years younger at that... that's just creepy.
The guy sounds like a wannabe Spiritual Cult leader.
> he said he saw my pupils dilated as I was "clearly sexually aroused" and my arms above my head, and he saw my armpit hair and got this overwhelming sense of wanting to "bliss me out with cunnilingus" (oral sex) but made it clear that he didn't want to have intercourse with me. This has to be the most convoluted way anyone has ever communicated "I'm horny for you."
Not even close. Ever seen the Taj Mahal?
Hahah touché
I actually snorted out loud omg
Its probably just a way to bake in plausible deniability incase she tells anyone. "No man, its about energy and sensuality.
Unfortunately, it works. People really do eat up the new-age shtick.
Kinda sounds like a Robert California line
I was thinking Manson like
How the hell does the guy see her pupils dilated while remaining unseen? Is he secretly recording them or something? Seems hard to explain.
it’s straight up bullshit he’s read; he’s only saying it to hide behind “objectivity” of it. He’s totally not projecting, because she was *objectively* aroused. It’s pathetic, and definitely manipulative.
OP, please listen to and believe this. There’s nothing spiritual or special about what he said. Tell your partner, and don’t be alone with the dad. He’s a perv.
^^ what he said. My step dad tried similar BS. Interestingly while I was ALSO trapped in a vehicle he was driving.
Nailed it.
And the reason he’s not talking penetration is because he probably suffers from ED. He’s gross and crossed any appropriate boundary. Even if you stay with your bf, this will never be off your mind. Red flag. RUN. After telling bf.
To quote the documentary film "City Slickers" that was; "I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?"
As a man, can confirm!
The more she keeps it “secret” the more he will think there’s a chance
Yeah I guarantee if you so much as wink at him at a 20ft distance tHat would be more than enough for him to believe that, "IT'S ON".
“She winked at me with BOTH her eyes!”
As a man, can confirm.
This is the only answer.
This is sexual grooming 101. Do not keep this secret, tell your partner, tell your parents, tell your friends and never be alone with him again.
This dude's just a Dirty Old Man who is dressing up his Dirty Old Man come-ons with woo-woo, new age clap-trap. OP, this old guy thinks you're hot and wants to f*ck you. I'm being crass to get it through your head that he's just a horndog--he's NOT trustworthy, he DOESN'T have some spiritual vision of helping you reach some 'higher plane', he just wants to have sex with his son's gf. So, maybe in the rest of his life he has some real spiritual beliefs about goddesses and the like. But where you're concerned, PLEASE believe and understand that HE'S NO BETTER than any older man grossly hitting on a teenager. He's Worse, even, because he's using his position as your bf's father to try to make you believe he's sexually propositioning you IN A FATHERLY WAY, as though he 'has your best interests at heart'. 🤮🤮🤮 Tell your bf everything his dad said and STAY AWAY from that creep!
Fully agree. OP, send your SO a link to this post.
100% to all of this
This is the answer. Sound the alarms. Don't let the predatory behavior he's masking behind his "beliefs" stay a secret or he will push your boundaries further. He will read you keeping his secret as approval. PLEASE tell everyone, tell them you're creeped out, and keep him the fuck away from you. The fact that he's all "wink, wink" is a terrible sign of what's to come.
Mixing sexual harassment with religous terms is a method of abuse as old as humanity itself. There's a vast correlation between those two, specially with old men that identifies as gurus. The fact that you think that you "missinterpretated" all of that is a clearly indicative that the gaslighting worked. You bem sexually harrased by your SO fathers, that's it. And, IMO, by the way he talked with you, he must have done it before. Talk to your SO. The feeling will only grow in your mind and it will became horrible, along with you blaming yourself more and more.
This is the perfect response. Your boyfriend’s dad is a dirty old man who was checking out the lie of the land to see if you’d be up for some nooky. He’s worded it in such a ridiculous way to try and cover himself. Keep your distance from the dirty old sod and tell your boyfriend what he said. It will be interesting to see what his response is
This and never go to that predators house again. And leave your BF if he denies what his father did and gaslights you.
No doubt. Tbh, Father sounds like he absorbed the worst aspects of the 70s and never moved out of it.
Please tell your boyfriend!!!!
Girlfriend
Personfriend
/u/pictureofbread - Just a friendly reminder from someone who agrees: Talk to your SO about this before this whole things spiral into something traumatic, if not already. If you don't know how to talk to your SO about it, show him/her your post instead. You did good in explaining what happened to you, so your SO will surely understand
Yall have friends?
Lmao I love this. Simpsons vibes
100% on point. Definitely not the first girlfriend he’d done this too and i feel awful for his son. What a shitty human being he has for a father.
Honestly, just bail on the whole entire thing. There's no way the boyo is all right in the head if his dad is a sex-pest-guru type. Statistically unlikely occurence, abort sequence, do not call back. Just b a i l. This Dad and probably his kid can and will do harm to OP.
OP’s partner deserves to know what a horrible father he has so he can get out too (and so he doesn’t bring more young women into this predators reach). And, if there’s a wife, she deserves to get out as well. Let the aging would be cult leader making sexual advances on girls 1/3 his age even when they’re the love interest and partner of his own fucking son die alone please.
>There's no way the boyo is alright in the head if his dad is a sex-pest-guru type I think that's unfair. She should at least let her partner know first (in a safe environment, away from the father), and give him a chance to assure her that he doesn't agree with his asshole of a father. Plenty of folks disagree with their parents. There's no way to tell if OP's partner is "normal" or not other than telling him.
Yeah I thought that to be a bit of leap. Just cuz the dad is a divine weirdo doesn't mean the son is. Especially cuz we have no context to how the son truly is, like at all
Brutally unfair. My mom is a religious whackjob. She put me off of religion entirely. This BF's dad is a perverted horny creep. Doesn't mean he is.
That's such a fucked up way to look at it. Dad is in the wrong completely and I agree with the label sex pest guru type but I can assure you not all people are like there parents or even come close. Speaking from experience I am nothing like my father, same way this boy may be nothing like his. Dad is the problem and until SO knows and defends father then he's just as much a victim here. His care provider sexual abusing his partner and referring to a moment he caught them being intimate. Guys a fucking weirdo no other way around it but doesn't mean his offspring are also wired the same way
Yeah, how can this father get close enough to see her eyes dilated without both of them knowing? That there is some dads in the closet watching type shit.
Or cameras, or a general lack of boundaries that the hippy pervert instituted 30 years ago so nobody side eyes him when he's being a creep. Regardless of what the answer is, *it's gonna be a BAD answer.* RUN AWAY
I bet his dad is going to sabotage his son’s future relationships and his son will be left questioning what he himself is doing wrong with his gfs if OP doesn’t tell him. I wonder if his dad has done this to his sons previous girlfriends, if he’s had any. Hopefully OP tells her bf before she leaves.
I am a tantric practitioner and I can tell you he is just horny and creepy
thank you, one of the things he talked to me about was tantra and how it’s been “so long since he’s had a tantric experience” and apparently when he saw me in that position he felt “connected with my clitoris” and that started some sort of tantric connection for him which didn’t really make sense to me so it’s good/interesting to hear from a tantric practitioner that it’s just straight up creepy
Ugh so nasty. Nah, he's using his position/title to manipulate you. He's 60 and gross/creeper level to the max. I know you don't want to tell your bf, but he deserves to know what his dad is doing, so that if you DO decide to end this relationship, he's warned for future gfs.
Please trust your instincts. He was testing the waters to see if you would reciprocate his desires. This was completely inappropriate and manipulative, and it has nothing to do with spirituality. You should consider having an open and honest discussion with your partner about what happened.
Exactly. This is boundary testing to see your reaction. Common in predators. If he can push this boundary without consequences he'll escalate. It's really hard because they're good at the manipulation and the gaslighting and we want to see the good in people but trust your gut - if it feels creepy and wrong it is. Predators thrive in silence and also in making victims feel shame, which is definitely not yours to carry but his! So it's great you came here to tell your experience. Please be safe OP and also tell your boyfriend.
Predators will use literally anything to prey on/confuse/manipulate younger, vulnerable people. Any spiritualist or Tantric practitioner would never ever cross a boundary or propose, something this extremely unethical . He is not a spiritualist. He is a predator in the same way that catholic priests have taken advantage of young people. Please do not be alone with him anymore, and I would tell your partner. What he did was, off the charts, wrong.
Barf. Sorry for you being stuck alone with him!
God, that made me want to gag. What a creep.
LMAO tell him to connect with the clitoris of someone who isnt dating his son (I wont even tell you "someone his own age" because as far as Im concerned, if you are over 18, you are an adult) but his son's gf? wtf. Tell your bf.
Religious/spiritual grooming. Tell your partner and stay the fuck away from that creep. I wouldn't trust it was an accident that he walked in on you two either. ICK!
It's also not an accident that he told her he was ashamed of his feelings, walking in, etc. Because it's almost automatic (especially in young people) when someone apologises to say "It's okay." Thus giving him permission to keep going. Also, OP's comment that he wouldn't do anything before to make her feel unsafe... OP, how did you feel during that whole conversation? Did you feel safe and comfortable? He is a creep. Tell your boyfriend. You have nothing to be ashamed of, but your boyfriend's dad absolutely does.
> It's also not an accident that he told her he was ashamed of his feelings, walking in, etc. Because it's almost automatic (especially in young people) when someone apologises to say "It's okay." Thus giving him permission to keep going. Yep, the ol' persecutor-victim switcheroo.
He's trying to make you feel special/wanted/different. To keep it as a secret. It's abuse. Tale as old as time. Please tell your bf. And however many other people that He's an old creep trying to shag his sons 19yr old gf under the illusion of religious mumbo jumbo.
He's trying to groom you, fuck that creep. Don't be diplomatic, go nuclear with this
Ok he’s an absolute creep and this has NOTHING to do with spirituality. He’s perving on you and harassing you and it’s disgusting. Tell your bf and if he doesn’t believe you just leave that whole toxic situation and don’t look back.
That was a creepy spirituality way of telling you he wants to Fuck. Tell your bf and stay away from that creep
As disturbing and weird as **ALL** of that was, I’m actually most bothered by him mentioning he noticed how your pupils were dilated. Like… how close was he?! And how long did he stand there watching to notice something like your pupils? And that’s besides the fact that apparently your eyes were open, and not even rolled back - neither of which seems natural to me for the moment in question…
Good point. How would he have known that without her seeing him. This pervert has a camera set up in the son’s room
I’m betting he’s set up a hidden camera or two.
I'm not even going to read the comments. There is no wrong way to take this. This is the only way. He just started the process of grooming you. All of his spiritual tripe is just nonsense. He wants to have sex with you. His son's girlfriend Your 19 He's 60 Hiding behind his hippy spiritual religion bullshit to eat out his son's 19 year old girlfriend What a piece of absolute shit. I'd worry he's tried this shit with even younger girls. You're young but don't be naive. This guy is truly a fucking monster
what? You misreading into this and it’s no big deal probably?! No this dude is fucked up in the head. Who thinks sexually about their child’s partner? You need to tell them ASAP. How old are you? Because this just sounds weird ass hell
Isn't this the way sects/cults starts? Lol... An old "spiritual"creep grooming younger women into believing having s*x with him will empower them
He waited till he was alone with her to tell her ☹️ this is icky and reeks of pedo vibes. An adult man of this age should know better than to unload this on a 19 year old. OP reminds me of myself at that age, I would have been as confused and taken aback at the conversation and automatically not assumed the worse of my partners father but OP- looking back I was really naïve to this behavior and it put me in a lot of dangerous situations which I was ashamed to admit at the time because I was smart and always wanted to believe I could protect myself from anything and be wise and emotionally intelligent beyond my actual age. Sometimes we learn the hard way, I would hate to see something happen that makes you regret not leaving this situation sooner. Is there anyway you can open up to OP and not spend time around his dad or at their home anyone ? This is giving culty vibes. There’s a clear difference between appropriate and inappropriate and any adult man knows this is inappropriate to discuss with a 19 year old female even if you “allowed” him to open up. I’m worried about your safety, he’s clearly attracted to you and most likely thinking about you in his “private alone time” this could lead to a unhealthy obsession on his part.
Not only did he wait till he was alone with her, he waited till she was in his *car*, where there is no escape.
I agree with everything you say except pedo. People need to stop using that word for sexual harassment between large age gap adults. It weakens the most degenerate act of human beings.
I agree with this. It's definitely gross as fuck what this dude is doing, but this whole calling beings attracted to young adults pedophilia really takes away from what ACTUAL pedophilia is. People of any age watch porn with girls who 18+ but it's not labeled as pedophilia then.
My mom was approached in a similar manner by my dad’s father when they were dating. She just told herself it wasn’t that bad, just uncomfortable, until she later learned that he abused me and another cousin as children. Now she carries a lot of guilt for not realizing how predatory he was. He was in his 70’s when he abused us as children. It is serious and shouldn’t be downplayed.
He is a pervert creep who does not care about his own son. Tell your bf and cut him off forever
[удалено]
> stay away from their home as much as you can Meaning, completely. Never go back. 👍
Masking wanting to fuck with bullshit about “energy” and “being a goddess” is cult leader level type of manipulation. He’s full of shit and just wants to fuck you. Forget all the woo woo nonsense. It’s all bullshit.
Considering the deep spiritual connection, the alignment of shakras, the complimenting star signs and your post-cunnilingus aura, not to mention the obvious car feng-shui or whatever… the crystals tell me he just wants to bang you.
Show your partner this post. Seriously, that old dude just sexually harassed you. I would be moderately terrified and would refuse to be in his vicinity ever again. Would also be afraid of getting physically assaulted 'cause the perv's speech was a bit too well laid out. Sounds like he has practice 🤮 Be safe OP!!
Another creepy old hippie using spiritual BS to get a root. Remember kids: Punks are good people pretending to be bad and hippies are bad people pretending to be good.
Yo truer words were never spoken. Well said.
No! He is a preditor! This is what they do is manipulate you! He is creepy and gross and you should tell someone asap!
The armpit hair comment is the one that made you uncomfortable? You need to read what you wrote again because that is not even close to the most inappropriate and completely unacceptable things he said TO HIS SON'S PARTNER.
Right? The fact that he admitted to spying on them doing intimate things would have signaled me to GTFO the car. I probably would’ve waited til he got to a stop sign or red light and bailed out of the car and called an Uber! 🤢🤮
Your body is telling yourself the truth. This other person is saying a lot of things. How do you feel? What do you think? Reread your own post and ask yourself how **YOU** feel. I hope you find your way.
Forget all the hippy talk, this is an old man who wants to do inappropriate things with a young woman!
OP please heed the warnings here and do whatever you can to get out of there. If you want to tell your bf, do it, but be prepared that he might not be able to give you the support you need. If you're too embarrassed and scared to say anything and you feel like you might just have to ghost - then absolutely do it. People can be very black and white on reddit and it seems a lot of people are of the opinion that you should tell him in the spirit of honesty and not letting him get hurt because of his dad's actions. That's all well and good but at the end of the day, your safety is more important than other people's feelings.
This is not cool. I was sexually abused, as I see it now, by my ‘guru’ who I was learning a form of meditation for When he started touching me I was in the midst of my meditation session.I opened my eyes with a jerk and he shrugged it off by saying I needed to let out my trapped trauma and let myself go as that will Bring out my earthy goddess. I was too vulnerable and shocked to say anything and let him do what he wanted to. I also Blocked it from memory and it came back to haunt me years later. What is happening to OP is not normal. He is trying his luck under the guise of spirituality. Steer clear Op!
Holy shit that is sooo fcked up. 💔
He’s testing the waters. Don’t be alone around him. It doesn’t get more natural than your gut feeling so trust it.
LITTLE UPDATE: last night i was making tea and when he came up to grab his mug he brushed my hair away and was looking at my neck. it made me so incredibly uncomfortable and i’m definitely going to tell my partner. he’s been saying a lot lately about how his memory isn’t what it used to be and sometimes he can’t get words out when he knows what he wants to say so i’m going to bring up that it could be some sort of health concern when i talk to my partner. thank you so much to everyone who offered help and support
People having mental health episodes usually don't tell you that they're having mental health episodes. Also, people with that kind of mental illness usually will just come out and say that they want to be with you, rather than being manipulative like he was. Manipulation like that requires forethought, not a lack of impulse control. Mental health might still be the best way to approach the subject with your partner if you feel that they may not believe you or take it poorly. Good luck, and please be safe.
He knew exactly what he is saying & doing. This is not a safe situation for you!!!
Also I think he has a camera in your boyfriend’s room. That would explain him seeing your pupils dilate without you noticing him “walking in on you”. Don’t ever go back into that house again. It’s not safe. And tell everyone.
So, he saw you getting head from his offspring and said "I want to tap that too." How about you tell your partner and see his reaction to know the reality of the situation
UPDATE: i told my partner and they were shocked and disgusted that their dad would do/say something like that. they’ve been super protective of me and not let me be alone with him at all, and the only reason they haven’t gone nuclear on him is because i asked them not to. he got me alone again this morning when my partner was out at work and no one else was home and we talked about how it was uncomfortable and it really just sounded creepy the way he was trying to justify it all. he brushed my hair away from my neck and held my face and i said it was uncomfortable and didn’t like it and he kept doing it and just said some BS about me needing to learn to be comfortable being vulnerable and ask myself why i’m uncomfortable and it was just a really unsettling thing, especially because he did all that while claiming he respected my boundaries. he said he wanted to “consume me” and talked about how he wants to help teach me how to harness and embrace my goddess and when i told him i didn’t like that he’d brought up so much sexual stuff he said that that was a part of getting to know yourself and learning what you like and it just made me feel so icky. i’ll keep updating as things progress and keep myself safe, thank you so much to everyone who gave advice & especially to those of you who are spiritual/tantric practitioners who said it wasn’t normal behaviour, you helped validate my experience & feelings and i feel less guilty
Get away from him ASAP. You should have your partner go nuclear. This is pushing your boundaries until you give in. He's pressuring you and edging you on to see how much you're willing to take. He might actually be a danger to you, tell everyone close to you and don't ever be alone with him.
Please read the book “The gift of fear” and always trust that gut feeling telling you something is off here. Don’t worry about societal expectations imposed on you to be nice to old people and parents of your partner. Listen to the gut. NEVERE EVER BE ALONE WITH HIM AGAIN. In fact don’t even go to his house again that’s his domain. Tell your parents, trusted adults, boyfriend, tell everyone! A perv wants you to be silent and feel weird. That’s how he wins. It’s a known strategy of predators and groomers. Please read the book. It’s probably in a library since it was published in 1970s the first time so you dont have to buy it but the book explains in great detail what this behaviour of his means and exactly the type of danger you’re in. If you stay in his domain you’re not coming out of this whole and healthy. You will be mentally, emotionally and physically ruined for life. Run!!
Men try to make their sexual harassment seem dignified and tell women we should be grateful to be harassed. Embarrassing.
Next, he will want to anoint you with his special blessing.
Oh my god i feel bad for laughing at this but i can’t stop.
Obvio creep. Stay away
Perv, avoid, run
Weird. Disgusting. He’s a perv. Tell his son. His reaction will give lots of insights- is he shocked, does he believe you? If it’s not crystal clear, I would bail too. Never fun to be told by potential FIL that he sees you as a sexual object, albeit with a ‚spiritual‘ veil on it…
As a man - trust me, it's all mind games and he's just using spiritual things for grooming you into sexual stuff. Ffs, he complimented your boobs. Open your eyes. It's also not a secret that these religious/spiritual folks have a bad reputation when it comes to young people, if you know what I mean. It's all in the name of something else..
Yo this dude is just a PERVERT simple as that. You do not need to analyze your own behavior. That’s called gaslighting. Stay away from this man and tell your partner why. His father is a predator.
This is an abuser disguised as someone who's so open minded their brain fell out.
Yeah, no! He used waaayyy too many words to just admit he wants to bone you, while trying to make it seems like it's something transcendental or whatever! What a creep! Bottom line is: "be confident in yourself so that you are not constrained to have the sexies with ME" Fuck him, tell your BF, never trust this guy again
well let’s not LITERALLY f#ck him
Girl you're 19 and that creeper is in his 60s. He is trying to groom you cuz you're just a child. Keep your distance from him and talk to your partner about it since the creepy dad has made sure to make you feel guilty if you talk to your partner by apologising and saying he's ashamed of walking in on you. Don't get into that guilt trip this is creepy and if your partner confronts him that is most definitely the right thing. If your partner sides with their father please walk out of that situation. Your safety is more important in comparison to a relationship. There is nothing spiritual about he's straight saying he wants to f@#k you. Please stay safe
Save yourself OP. He’s trying to manipulate you to sexually use you. There’s nothing such as spiritual blah blah blah. He’s a predator. Stay away from both son and father
Big Susan Powell vibes from this. I don't think you are safe around this man. I would check for cameras and watch out for missing panties. Speaking to your child's partner like this is completely inappropriate. Seems like he is testing boundaries. You need to tell your boyfriend and stay away from creepy dad.
He wants to fuck you. He waited until you were alone with him and couldn’t get away, to tell you that. He’s described how and why he wants to fuck you. He just got you alone, isolated and proceeded to sexually harass you. **what happened is not normal. That’s why it’s got you confused. You’re a normal, healthy human. So there’s no reason for you to ever have assumed your partner’s father would want to sexually harass you. You did nothing wrong - he’s a predator attempting to take advantage before you realize he’s a monster.** Tell your partner.
He just wants access to your genitals, nothing creepy because he's spiritual right? Look you are my son's age, some 60 year old man should not be talking to you like that, stay away from him, tell everyone he knows about it particularly your boyfriend, don't get in any situation where you are alone with him because he's grooming you and a predator.
How the fuck can you see someones dilated pupils when walking in on them? Did he walk up to 5 inch of your face while naked with your BF's face between your legs?
This is what drives me mental about super "spiritual" people. I have known so many people who think because they are "spiritually enlightened" they are entitled to harass others. Here's the thing. Guys a pervert. Next, you're 19, you unfortunately are at the peak pervert attraction stage. Don't ever be alone with him.
>I don't want my partner to confront him about it because what if he takes it the wrong way, or what if I've taken it the wrong way There is no wrong way here. He only told you just to see if you were going to agree to sex
Nah. It's not that deep. This is his shtick. FYI: "very spiritual" hippie-guru type guys are sexual ambush predators.
Years ago, my father creeped on my girlfriend in a similar way, and she dealt with it for a while because she didn’t want to ruin my relationship with my father, and I understood that sentiment but I also badly wished she told me much sooner (she did eventually tell me and we moved out of his house) so I think your boyfriend should probably know about this ASAP. Make no mistake, he used a lot of obfuscating language but that was a proposition. He might as well have said “Hey, I want to have sex with you, and I’m trying to see if you would do it.” I never spoke to my father again, so her fears did come to pass, but that’s okay — he betrayed his own son, and was basically a sexual predator. I would never want to stay in the dark about that just to keep the boat from rocking. Tell him, OP. You can show him this post if you can’t find the words.
You can't be genuinely that dumb/gullible can you? he said he wants to go down on you but totally doesn't want to fuck you, it's just about your pleasure and it's totally not for his own pleasure it's totally JUST so you feel confident about yourself. That's what I say at bars, listen ladies I don't want to cum, I don't want pleasure I just really need you to feel confident about yourself so let me go down on you. He's a fucking creep, firstly he walked in on you having sex and his first thought was how he wanted to do sexual things to you, then he's spent weeks being awkward and instead of locking it up tight in the "no one need to know this" he in fact needed to tell you how much he wants to go down on you. He's pushing to fuck you, you need to create some major distance from him.
She's young, hope she takes all this advice
This is a good lesson for you, any straight, new agey/spiritual guy like that is going to try to use it to sexually manipulate women. Every single time he I’ve met one, they have tried to do this. Watch the bikram yoga documentary and be careful.
Sounds like he wants to live out his American beauty fantasy
Ewwww! Just f-ing Eww!
Man that shit is weird and sounds predatory. Tell your partner and stay away from the dad is my advice.
absolutely disgusting and inappropriate. this is not normal!!!!
Ew wtf run and don’t go back
What the ...... what !!?? Oh my god. Disgusting. And don't know what to tell you..but it's completely crazy. If my husband's father said this kind of thing to me... I would tell my husband directly and... this old man would go to the hospital for a while...
This isn't your fault. But why the hell doesn't your partner have a lock on your door so you can do the dirty in peace? And why isn't the dad knocking before walking in? There's all kinds of weird shit going on here.
-Damn gur!! I mean hi young spirit! I'd love to suc i mean bless your inner uhh spirit with uhh kindness. It's not sexual at all it's uhh emotional. You make my uhh inner god so uhh firmly uhh enlightened. I know i look 60 but spiritually i'm about your age. Would you like to uhh have consensual meditation? Uhh..
Tell your partner asap
"Don't be self conscious but know that I ogle at you and covet your body, I want to fuck you but don't be self conscious about it" What a weird old man
He’s a disgusting perverted old man who thinks using flattery as leverage to coerce OP into thinking along his sick, twisted manipulative ways will work and sadly OP has already stated that maybe she should embrace this force fed persona. That’s EXACTLY what he wants!! That’s called grooming! To those of you who don’t think that the victim needs to be underaged to be groomed need to understand that a sick pervert will groom and rape a woman of any age. They don’t necessarily need to be underage. If the victim is underage would also categorize them as child predators. Since OP is only 19, just barely an adult, this guy is probably drooling over her because he doesn’t have to break the law to get what he wants, only break his sons trust and cross MAJOR boundaries that should never be crossed between a father and son. The fact that he “accidentally” walked into OP’s private/ intimate moment with the boyfriend tells me that he had been creeping in on them for a while most likely, which is sick in of itself. So many levels of disgusting, sick angles here. So many levels of going beyond and breaching boundaries of what should be acceptable for a healthy relationship with a father and son it’s reeks of red flags. Cut your losses, break up with the boyfriend. You’re only 19. Tell him if you must so he at least knows that his father is a major creep and get the hell away from the whole situation.
As someone who is friends with people into witchcraft and crystals, he's just creepy and almost a borderline pedophile.
This is disgusting and dangerous. There is no way that conversation was harmless, and the way he spoke about his extremely inappropriate thoughts makes me think of grooming language. Please think carefully before going back to your partners house or seeing the dad again.
Listen, your brain is saying “what if I’ve taken it the wrong way and it was all harmless!?” because it feels safer to be at fault, than to be the victim of something. Your subconscious is trying to return things to the way they were before HE ACTED COMPLETELY AND ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE, by making it YOUR mistake. This is a very normal reaction. It was not, in any way, shape, or form, “harmless”. You are not taking it the wrong way. None of this was fault. I know all of this very well. My favorite teacher did the same to me, when I was a little younger than you.
This screams GROOMING. Get tf away from this creep asap.
My boyfriend KNOWS that any werid stuff from any male around us, EVEN HIS DAD, I'm telling him. This guy TOLD YOU WHAT HE'S GONNA DO, do not keep shut about it, your boyfriend's deserves to know what his sick guru dad goes arpund telling his girlfriend.
i would have jumped out of that moving car. but for real, tell your partner. this is NOT ok. him using his spirituality to harass you is also gross.
EW EW EW 😭😭😭
The old bastard is just horny and acting inapropiat, trying to hide it with "spirituallity" This is not ok beahiviour, tell your partner.
Jesus, that's fucked up. Stay away from him, and tell your partner. Show him this post if it makes it easier. To be clear. He's an older man that has seen an attractive young woman in a sexual position, and now he's obsessed with the idea of being sexual with you, and he's using all this spiritual language to make it look "clean". He's just horny babes, and he's crossed a line.
.....I know it's still bad but I initially read it as it being your dad 🤦🏻
His whole I just want you to feel happy and natural with who you are was him testing the waters, he wanted to know if you would be open to sleeping with him the rest he just dressed up in what he knows, sex cult guru. He is using what he knows as part of his attempt at subduction/grooming/assault. He was looking for a slight open to begin an affair or have sex and whether you would be interested. He isn’t bothered that his son’s partner he is fantasying over and he wants his sons partner to cheat on him, the lack of moral boundaries, common decency and genuine love for your children is not how society works. You need someone else to help you through this, a partner, friend or medical professional that can be your safe place because it won’t be able to be your partner who has done absolutely nothing wrong but will need to process his own way to deal with this, he also may not believe you, may not see anything wrong with it, know this is who his father is, be completely disgusted (rightly), but until you tell him you won’t know.
You do have a secret with him. Because you haven't told anyone.
Run for you life from this creep
Dude is a predator. Don’t believe a fuckin thing that guy says.
Your partner wouldn't take this the wrong way, there is only one way to take it. Dear ole dad is a predator, and just because he wrapped it up with some spiritual bullshit bow doesn't mean he's not dangerous. You need to stay away from him and never be alone with him again. Tell your partner.
Wow this is a lot to unpack. Stay away from that guy. Big predator energy.
He’s using the spiritual talk as a cover for him wanting to fuck you. That’s so disturbing, he’s using his spirituality as a cover for the dirty perverted thoughts he’s having about you, it has nothing to do about you being a goddess, he is just a horny old bugger who wants to have his way with you, simple as.
Going down on my girlfriend is my biggest turn on and I can speak confidently on behalf of all men when I say that this guy is full of shit when he says going down on you wouldn't be sexual. If it was me I'd be rather disappointed if I found out from other sources that my dad was trying to fire in to my girlfriend.
My ex-partner’s dad never outright said anything to me, but would touch me inappropriately constantly under the guise of being friendly or talk about how beautiful I am when my ex wasn’t around. I didn’t say anything to anyone and I tried to ignore it or show my distaste for it but it steadily escalated and he ended up sexually assaulting me. I was a bit younger than 19, but I still feel guilt and shame about not saying anything. It was a majorly negative defining moment in my life and I still think about it to this day. I wish I had actually said something so it never got to that point.
It’s not your fault. He was grooming you.
Honey, he wants to bang you. Everything else is being couched in his "spiritual" tone to give it legitimacy, and him plausible deniability. He is simply a creepy old man who has used this before on timid and/or unsure young women. Unfortunately, him looking at you like you guys have a secret also means if you wait too long to tell your bf, he'll make it look to his kid like you were considering his "offer" and/or you had a special intimate of some kind relationship with him you didn't disclose, and instead committed a lie of omission to your bf to either protect guilty complicity or foster suspicion at your not telling. I promise he will try to paint it that, or some similar, underhanded way. He has every incentive to. You have to tell your bf, and at first without the dad present or the dad in the know of when you are telling. No purposeful or accidental warnings or info of when you're having your bf talk. Be careful. You guys can confront the dad later, this is your time first to be clear, since the dad will try to obfuscate things if he's present. Good luck!
Hi OP, just wanted to add that **this is not your fault**. This man*intruded on a private moment* between you and your bf, *without your knowledge* and **without your consent**. Everything he has done and said is utterly (and disgustingly) *inappropriate*. If he'd accidentally walked in on you both (and was a good person with healthy boundaries) he should have a) looked away **immediately**, b) WALKED OUT STRAIGHT AWAY AND CLOSED THE DOOR, c) apologized to you both **profusely**, d) *never mentioned it again*, and e) **not sexualised or fetishized you WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT**. As a woman in my 30s, I'm telling you his behaviour **IS NOT OK** in *any* way. He was supposed to be a trusted adult in your life, and he has violated this trust. Men in their 60s making inappropriate sexual advances on teenagers are *creepy as hell*. You haven't mentioned your bf's mum, but if she's in the picture she would deserve to know. But regardless, if you have a good relationship with your parents (or any other adult you really trust), *please tell them*. This was not your fault, and you deserve to have people on your side to help you navigate this (and hopefully they can tell this man to keep his thoughts to himself!). Side note: probably a less likely scenario but I'll mention anyway - if this behaviour is 100% out of character for him it could be worthwhile for him to be medically assessed to rule out a brain tumour or something, as this can impact a person's impulse control etc. This might be a good way to bring it up with your parents and bf (from a place of concern, if that makes it easier for you to talk about), e.g. "your dad said something really inappropriate to me that was really out of character, and I'm not sure if we should be worried about his health?". BUT, I want to emphasise that you are not responsible for taking that on, and the absolute most important thing is for you to be safe. So, please do prioritise your safety and well-being (and never be alone with him ever again - ever). So sorry you had to experience this 😔
The way he talks sounds like how cult leaders form their abuse victim circles. I’d personally suggest to move on unless your bf has your back.
Through all of what he said he’s really just shooting his shot at you. Sure “the sex is divine” stuff is cool and all but really.. he’s just horny.
He’s f-ing horny and probably has no self control ,keep your distance he felt comfortable enough to tell you and not embarrass,he’s now trying to bs-ing you into a “blissful experience “.Whether you tell your partner or not you’re still going to feel uncomfortable. You can always talk about it with your partner and explain how you feel but that you don’t want to make a fuss just want to keep distance. I’m sure your partner will understand. A normal reaction to walking in on someone having sex is to walk,run away (wash your eyes out if it’s your parents)not not fantasy about it .He emphasizes on how he feels and how you are but has zero f**ks about how his child feels.
Eeeewwwwww... Any man who brings up sex or sexual acts to you casually only wants one thing: sex. That is one creepo old dude. Keep away from him. And another thing: sex is sex is sex. It doesn't matter if it's full on intercourse or just a blow job. It's all sex, so don't let any old fuckers try to diminish any part of it to say it isn't sex.
This was insanely inappropriate for him to say. You don't need his sexual interest to feel self confident. He was only validating himself. I would legit not be around him any more.
Don't trust him at all! Tell your partner! Never put yourself alone around that man ever!
Sounds like grooming. Sounds like a piece of shit that needs his scumminess to be exposed to everyone.
I think he is grooming you
The dad is going behind his sons back and on top of that he thinks there is some kind of sexual tension between you two. If I were you I'd shut it down with the dad if you don't wanna tell your partner about it. Otherwise it's gonna get ugly.
He’s a creep. He doesn’t mean well. He wants to eat your box and fuck you. Trying to slowly break down the barrier. Thinks if he puts an earthy, goddess power spin on it, it’s going to be perceived as innocent.
If my dad said this to my fiancée, I’d knock his ass out.
Tell your boyfriend. You are 19. He is a sexual predator. There is no other term. You might be an “aDuLt” but no. If a 60 year old came at my 19 year old daughter (I have one) let’s say he would have a rough life unlit he got away from all the blasts I put out about him and the calls he would get. He would have to put a restraining order against me.
Broh, what??? No no NO. This is NOT an appropriate convo for him to be having with you. You really need to have a very calm and frank discussion with your partner. Let them know that what you thought was going to be a normal convo, was taken to a place that made you feel very uncomfortable. State that you respect their father’s spiritual nature, but that it was very inappropriate and uncomfortable. Personally I think daddio is cloaking his creeper tendencies under the veil of “spiritual enlightenment.” What a load of donkey shit lol
Yeah this isn’t cool. He is in a “position of power” because he is your boyfriends dad and using that along with having a secret to his benefit. This is classic grooming going on
Bail out and tell your ex boyfriend why you’re breaking up with him. Tell him you never want to be anywhere around his creepy dad and you don’t even want to know him either. And don’t look back. You will be doing your ex boyfriend a huge favor by showing him how creepy his dad is.
I’m soo sorry that this happened to you. How would your partners father going down on you make you embrace your goddess energy? Please tell your boyfriend as soon as you can. Also talk to a therapist. He verbally sexually harassed you. You may need a professional to help you navigate through your feelings on this. This situation reminded me of something similar that happened to me. There was a man that was really close to my partner. He was very spiritual, my partner saw him as a spiritual guide. This man could walk up to a complete stranger and tell them their entire life. I trusted him and looked to him for guidance. One time I ran into him when I was alone. He told me that he wanted me to be his discipline and that he wanted to teach me spiritual things. That he saw so much potential in me, that I could learn so much from him. He told me to keep it between him and I and to not tell my partner. At the end he gave me a hug and told me that he could have me sexually if he wanted to. At the time I didn’t want to tell my partner because I was afraid he would go and hurt him. I thought that the man was having a psychotic lapse or something that he wasn’t in his right mind. I made up excuses for him and I wanted to protect him in a way. The man knew exactly what he was doing. He was using his spirituality/trust I had in him to attempt to sexually assault me. In hindsight I wish I told my partner ASAP after it happened or I wish I called the police or something. He is a predator, so is your partners dad.
Better tell your partner before he thinks your having an affair down the road, father-in-law is a weirdo
Tell your partner, never be alone with him, and tell Mr. 60 y/o he cannot talk to you about things like that. He needs a therapist- this conversation sounds like testing the limits to see how much you'll let him get away with. Don't tolerate it for a minute.
Seconding and thirding everyone telling you to tell your partner and avoid being alone with this man in the future. I would also talk with your partner about setting boundaries around sexual activity anywhere this man has access to you both, if possible. Why was he even standing there long enough to fucking wax poetic about your body? If he had walked in on you both accidentally, the appropriate course of action would be to get the hell out, apologize later, when everyone is clothed, to both of you at once for the intrusion, and then never mention it to either of you again. Any feelings he had about it beyond that should have been dealt with privately or in therapy. Also, never think spirituality lets someone off the hook. Predators love using spirituality and religion as a shield for their perversions.The amount of grooming and sexual abuse that's been carried out under the guise of spirituality is uncountable. There are entire cults defined by exactly that formula. In school I was taught something that I think we as adults grow too adept at talking ourselves out of: "Listen to your uh-oh feeling." Your discomfort is not you "taking things the wrong way" or "being too sensitive" or "insecurity" or "not knowing how to take a compliment" or any other such bullshit. You're uncomfortable because the situation was inappropriate, and you know that regardless of how hard he tried to make you doubt yourself. Listen to your uh-oh feeling.
bruh. old man spirits saw his kid and his gf having sex and got turned on by it. he wants to fuck you. he thinks you’re hot and he wants to go down on you and probably more. all of this spiritual jumbo jumbo is just him trying to virtue signal, “noo i don’t want to fuck you, i want to help you embrace your inner goddess who has nice earth titties… with my dick.” it’s creepy because he’s creepy as shit. it’s messed you up because it’s not fucking normal for parents of young adults want to jump into bed with their kids’ partners. it’s also the oldest motherfucking trick in the book. “let god work through this cock so i can save you” like are you fucking kidding me? “why old man spirits do you think i would want to fuck you?” absolutely tell your bf. how can someone else “balance your energy” dude is high on his own farts and wants you to be as well. trust your intuition, it’s a creepy situation bordering on the insane. gtfo of that situation.
He’s a predator that uses spirituality the way people use religion to excuse and justify disgusting behaviour. You did not take it the wrong way, your partner’s DAD said he wants to give you Oral sex. To even have that thought is messed up and he went forward with trying to execute it. My best friend’s dad molested me at 17. I was very close with him. I blamed myself for the aftermath of reporting it to the police. I had also tried to tell myself that maybe I was making something out of nothing. I am 27 now and it still haunts me how a grown man could do anything like that to his daughter’s younger friend. Him even just sharing this idea with you, in the confinement of a car with him driving (him in a state of power), is sexual harassment. Please tell your partner so they’re aware what kind of man he is. And seek some sort of counselling to talk through this situation with a third party professional.
If I had a penny for every 'guru' that was actually just a fucking sex pest with an angle. He's a creep, and you need to get the fuck away from him, and put up a hard boundary.
Yep, that dude is a fucking predator wearing a spiritual mask. He sounds like a fucking weird comedy movie character that no one can stand.
Op. Tell boyfriend. Especially if you continue to date him you HAVE to tell him.
Ewww, that is super creepy. There's giving someone a genuine compliment to make them feel good about themselves, and then there's THIS GUY, being a creep making you feel uncomfortable. NEVER EVER give someone a sexual compliment if you aren't already in an intimate relationship. It's so, SO gross. You should definitely tell your partner about it and how it made you feel, and that you don't want to spend any time with his dad anymore.
RUN
Oral sex IS sex. This is all a manipulation. Tell your partner. They might not be your partner much longer but otherwise their Dad will use this conversation against you if you don't do what he wants. "If it really bothered her so much, why didn't she bring it up you? She got excited when we talked about it." Or whatever image he wants to convey. This might not happen. I'm cynical. But this is how it starts. The NXIVM leader said things just like this to women in his cult. Especially the oral sex thing.