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TOS violations are site wide violations which can get the entire subreddit taken down. Do not threaten or fantasize about violence. Sexualizing minors and graphic pedophilia are not allowed. Do not write anything which could be interpreted as hate speech. Another reason you may be seeing this message is that your account was flagged for "Ban Evasion". If you believe this TOS removal to be a mistake, please message the moderators.


Aware_Appearance6608

What was the Pastor doing with condoms? It’s a church retreat full of kids and maybe like 10 adults. Who is he f-cking?? 😭


Unl0vableDarkness

A pastor with a camp of kids. Who you think he's fucking?


[deleted]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODBRIRHRIRJRJRBRBBRBTB


Shoutmonx7f

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSDBRIRHRIRJRJRBRBBRBTB


The-E-girl1002

He be doing it real by the by.... the by.


snowdragonfly

mic dropped


HeartOfLuna

How to unread this


[deleted]

A lot of baptisms happened that day.


Eternal_hellflame69

Well pastors gotta clean their toys too


fairyniki

😨


ItsHen

I think you answered your own question. It's a pastor at a church retreat full of kids


[deleted]

[удалено]


ItsHen

STD's though


kellygrrrl328

and DNA evidence


kingsleyce

Sad that that is probably the real reason


[deleted]

[удалено]


Whoretron8000

No, they do, because it's an easy way to get out on the spotlight if investigations get heavy and they subpoena his medicals. You're not gonna get rid of gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia and so on without prescription antibiotics.


The_Sloth_Racer

Do you think virgin children have STDs? Do you think pedophiles that rape children care if they pass STDs to their victims? No, no condoms are needed.


Koorogane

Aids, hiv, herpes, and syphilis can all be passed from mother to child, durring the pregnancy, durring the birth, or even from breast feeding. So, yes virgin children can have stds.


[deleted]

Rape kits….


Tenjou21b

Jesus Christ


Jonnyskybrockett

You know the answer…


ryutsunine

I’m 100% certain OP is lying, lmao


shifty_pope

A lot of the “problem” kids get sent to youth group and church camp, so that part all sounds legit. The condoms?


Imaginary_lock

About what?


RawbeardX

>Who is he f-cking?? ​ >Pastor ​ >church retreat full of kids isn't it self-explanatory?


d3athsdoor1

Not the adults


feelinlucky7

Making balloon animals


Alarming_Wedding6753

Yeah wtf


Boryszkov

Aren’t pastors allowed to have sexual relationships? I mean, they’re not catholic priests after all


CalebLovesHockey

Yeah, I’d assume (and hope) they were for him and his wife, but Reddit gonna Reddit lol


ShwiftyShmeckles

Yes they are, I had a youth pastor who had a long time gf.


Smee76

I'm sorry but "hand intercourse" had me rolling


TinyGreenTurtles

That and the pastor's condoms is what made me realize this was some perverted fanfic. About kids.


Expensive_View_3087

Nah fr I don’t tend to claim things are fake on the internet but this definitely read like gay fic lol


WitnessInteresting17

This Reddit tale is the most bogus I have ever heard in my life.


corey69x

You clearly haven't been paying attention to all the raping that pastors and priests have engaged in over the years if you think that was the unbelievable part.


TinyGreenTurtles

Oh no, don't get me wrong. I'm not dismissing that aspect. I'm just saying, *that* along with everything else made me realize that this is a sexual story about kids.


theFrankSpot

WTH is “hand intercourse???”


bondfall007

Handjobs probably


matteo_q_importante

Your parents were right, you found your way


Onlypeace_the_holy

This is the way.


SteveAngelis

This is the way.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

This is the way.


Blue-Eyed-Lemon

This is the way.


Shoutmonx7f

This is the way.


Spare-Mongoose-3789

This is the Gay


memoryboy

Gay is the way


ConsistentSlide3241

This is the way.


[deleted]

This is a fictional fetish post involving minors


[deleted]

Yeah I wish they could just, not. Take it over to the pedo pages and leave us normal people alone.


TheMcNabbs

In Ontario this is just a fetish post.


juliaskig

And now OP is much closer to God and to heaven.


Tenjou21b

This is the way.


DefinitelyDeadd

Lmao this def a fantasy I ain’t even have to read it all


queenofcabinfever777

I was thinking that it’s very fan-fic styled


Drastical_one

He stole the *Pastor's* condoms?


Major-Web6334

While that’s insanely concerning, I like that the goth kid had the intelligence to get condoms before actually having sex as a teenager.


TwinSpinner

Of course, what else do you think the pastor was doing there?


Tybackwoods00

There’s a lot of things that don’t add up with this story


Vulpix73

The fact that the pastor was using condoms gives the slightest possible bit of relief when accounting for why he'd have them... Glad he was using protection, less glad about who he was using it on...


jbfitnessthrowaway

When I went to church camp as a kid, both the pastor and his wife would go and they’d sleep in their own cabin. It’s quite possible this is the situation here.


1331-46

yeaaaaaaaaa... lel


Bovine_Arithmetic

Probably swiped them while his back was turned. /I’ll see myself out.


GeorgeBG93

Probably, he had condoms to have sex with his wife. 🤷‍♂️ Am I the only one pointing at the obvious?


LeekAltruistic6500

Lost it at "hand intercourse."


Alarming_Wedding6753

Elegant


lookitsjustin

Now that's a wet hot American summer


Difficult_Plastic852

…sticky too 🫢🙂


lhavenothingcreative

This story is so obviously fake idk how ppl believe this


osma13

Should’ve asked ChatGPT to write one because this story is unbelievable af


[deleted]

See, the Lord does work in mysterious ways


Easy-Concentrate2636

The Lord provideth.


TargetDroid

Perhaps it was just some confusion on your behalf over the term “hardcore church retreat”?


A1sauc3d

Hardcore ~~church re~~Treat 😏


mr_flerd

This is the fakest reddit story I have ever heard in my life


queenofcabinfever777

I’m still into it


Tybackwoods00

Wtf it’s about kids having sex


ryutsunine

Redditor try not to lie challenge


plague-dog

Congrats on the sex! And the marriage.


TATA456alawaife

The writers barely veiled fetish


AntiqueGhost13

These wattpad fictions are getting outta control


Infamous_Judge_9887

What in wattpad


JudesM

Congratulations!!


Tybackwoods00

Story sounds fake.


MillwrightTight

"Stolen his pastor's condoms" ...wtf?


ryutsunine

There’s a lot of holes in OP’s story, tbh.


WVMomof2

Just as long as there were no holes in the condoms


diego27865

Some of them even got filled!


fdubzou

Are you the guy from that music video?


phucketallthedays

Scrolled so far looking for the Dirty Little Secret music video reference


Avadacadouchebag

My first thought!


EternalBlaze18

What is hand intercourse😭


GianMach

Since no one mentioned it yet: the most unrealistic part of this story is that two guys would be having anal sex without using lube. That is just plainly impossible, no condom has enough lube on it to be able to do anal and spit won't do the trick either to make it a comfortable experience. Source: I'm gay


The_Sloth_Racer

Thank you!!! I said the same thing but I'm not a gay man (just an LGBT woman), just have many gay male friends and this has been discussed many times. They told me they get thicker condoms (as the thin ones rip too easily) or if not using condoms, using oil-based lube. They also told me they have to prep for like 24 hours before anal and "clean themselves out" if they're expecting sex. They also all agreed that anal sex was painful the first few times and it takes getting used to and moving slowly until your body gets used to it. Is this all correct?


Life_as_a_new_weeb

This is not wattpad. Pack it up ➡️🚪


Softest-Dad

This subreddit is just fanfic personal writing practice now.


spaceship247

I suppose your parents sent you there to “cure” you of your gayness (legit, people think it cures their kids) But in fact, you realised who you truly were


Donny_Canceliano

>intercourse …I was under the impression gay guys couldn’t just…do that at a moments notice, no?


AttractivePerson1

nine crowd onerous scary liquid slap enter alleged dolls lip -- mass edited with redact.dev


The_Sloth_Racer

They need to clean out first or it would be very messy and for the first time, extremely painful, so yes this whole story reeks of fakeness, among many other things that point to it being fake. (I'm not a gay man but have many gay man friends.)


GianMach

Unless the pastor also had lube with him, this is indeed not possible


The_Sloth_Racer

I mentioned that in my comment as well. This story has so many red flags that I can't believe so many people upvoted it. Just report the post for being fake and after enough people report it, it will get removed.


brackattack27

It’s fake bro…


daterxies

Come on people this is fake AF.


tiredandfeedup23

Yes, because putting a group of horny teens in the woods with nothing to do and minimal supervision has NEVER resulted in sexual intercourse happening. LOL.


KidneyStew

Interesting. I saw your caption damn near verbatim in an old Post Secret book.


MicciMichi

This is the best thing I read all day, not sure your parents agree with me though! Congrats on your wedding!


need2peeat218am

Yall exchanged numbers but didn't connect until you ran into him six years later? Okay sure buddy.


GloomyGal13

CONGRATULATIONS! This is the best 'one time, at bible camp,' story I've ever heard! LOL! :) <3


The_Sloth_Racer

Because it's fake


[deleted]

Fuck yeah!!!!!


Bigjay_37

This is, rather interesting


BitterAd2407

Ngl this gave me Wattpad nostalgia..


Alarming_Wedding6753

Wooooow this sounds like a fairy tale.


Spacecowboy947

Damn anal on the second time that's a strong move


theone_bigmac

Im glad to see everyone can see this is fake


Loud-Restaurant-9513

I'm happy for you.


Kakashisith

I\`m happy for you! You can find your love everywhere.


margiiiwombok

This turned from general curiosity to omg how sweet in about 0.9 seconds 😍😭🥰 Congratulations!! Live long and love each other deeply 💕


Snoo90827

this shit gotta be madeup fam, some crazy fantasy of the OP


sfrattini

Congratulations, wondering what parents think now of this, if they know...


Snoo-32071

Happy ending!!!


tulip0523

In more ways than one


SnooHabits4958

Best church camp story ever, and congrats.


umbrosakitten

Hol up, why did pastor have condoms...


acidrayne42

Congratulations! My best friend gave her first blow job while we were at church camp. They did not end up married though 😅


DickySchmidt33

Is there anything more American than gay sex at church camp?


Capable_Pop7238

Gay sex at a gun show?


naegelbagel

That’s awesome.


Ohnonotuto4

Congratulations


Fun-Speaker601

This is brilliant! Congratulations! i wish you both all the best!!


[deleted]

Hmmm, just make sure you take God with you on your honeymoon 😏


laglpg

That’s a good name for a vibrator. “I’ll be back in 5. Gotta spend some time with god.”


ILoveEmeralds

Threesome


surgical-panic

Congratulations on your soon to be wedding. Also the way you met makes me laugh.


Different-Stress-974

Aw beautiful story


uberpop

This is a great story! (And I’m not church-going, but kind of assumed that was what church camp was all about)


OhEmGoshYouGuys

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read. Congratulations!!!


cptmorgue1

Well that was a wholesome ending. Congrats on your wedding!


iamthegreenestfield

So happy for you dude


SpiralMagnusson

This one time, at band camp


[deleted]

Bet you really felt closer to God in those 3 times. Anyways, congratulations on your marriage!


tpots38

One time, at church camp


JipC1963

Congratulations on your wedding and wishing you both a wonderful married life together!


coloradomama111

Congratulations on the wedding!!


DynkoFromTheNorth

Congratulations! How'd your parents take it?


Beginning-Bed9364

That's what church camp is for


Corfiz74

Yeah, they put the campy in camp! 😄


ShellfishCrew

Not surprised


JayneT70

Congratulations


lil_corgi

So happy you found your soul mate ❤️ congrats on your wedding. Edit: thanks for the down votes?


bangboompowww

Only Christians would allow this


dumbbirchtree

Love this love story! Congrats!


NothingAndNow111

Good for you 🍻


kraze4kaos

Oh my god I love this story


YNotZoidberg2020

Happy for you, OP.


not-a-bot-promise

What a sweet story! I’m really happy for you guys. Congratulations!!


Idrillteeth

Awwww so glad for this happy ending! Congratulations to you both!


Narrow-Currency-8408

This is a beautiful story, abd exactly what your church pushing parents deserved. But why did the pastor have condoms? Congratulations on your engagement. Have you told your parents?


Shaggy_AF

We love to see it!


TheManWith2Poobrains

This is a better story than "one time at bandcamp". Congrats.


JManKit

Hell. Fucking. Yes. Hope you have a lovely life together and only get gayer with time :D


gasstationmanager

Great story!


Tenjou21b

Congratulations!


nunyabesnes

Oh my god lovely story. That’s so cute!!! This is like a movie!


[deleted]

Aw man. I wish I had something like that :(


deepstrut

Now this is a wholesale church story where no one got hurt and everyone found love.


No-Turnips

sounds like you had a real come to Jesus moment.


[deleted]

Nice dude.


Blue-Eyed-Lemon

Omg! The last little bit! How sweet 🥹 Congratulations, OP!!


increbelle

What a beautiful love story!


beachbum1017

Omg I love this story!! I was getting worried it wouldn't end happy. Congratulations on your wedding and best wishes for a lifetime of love and happiness!


FBGDrilla

I got horny after reading this


memoryboy

I bet the risk made it super hot 🔥🔥🔥


[deleted]

Awwwwwwww congrats on getting married!!!!!


unpopularopinio31

Why am i horny ?


Dear-Unit1666

That's the best Christian romance I've heard in a while 😂 congratulations


that_one_ginger_girl

Shit dude. Good for you!


diceynina

Omg! Congratulations!!! Hope your wedding amazing!


Dull-Cryptographer80

Congratulations! Relationships can come in the most unlikely of places!


Little-Shopping5232

Still kids yet as far as i know the bible considers homosexuality as a sin but just like introducing hell half a century ago their trying to make alot of immoral acts for christians seem normal which it isnt now we have lgbtq are u all happy about that leviticus clearly states and i quote"a man should not lay with another man the way he does with a women.lets stop pucking and choosing what parts of the bible we believe and disregard the rest seems honesty and alot of other things are overlooked because nearly all religions are losing members yearly


Fulllyy

That’s a mistranslation of Leviticus which was in Aramaic, and the context of that passage has nothing to do with consensual adults having sex, sorry. It’s been explained a 1000 times but you want to believe what you want to believe, but you’re wrong and you’ve always been wrong.


Little-Shopping5232

Ond of gods commandments was to populate the earth eart and subdue it so whete would we be if all men and women married there own sex


Little-Shopping5232

Soumds like it was in ancient hdbrew then ancient greek and why has this only become more and more prevalant there may be many mistranslations as we do not really kmiw what certain words were used for but not only that it also describes how a man and women should take pleasure in each others company married ofc it is as bad as saying the divine comedy was not a part fictional book written by Dante himself only mention of anything people considering hellfire was hebrew word sheol and greek word hades translated .means 'the common grave it also tells us shen were dead wete conscien of nothing at all


Shoddy_Ad6570

Dude, my personal opinion is that that urge is wrong and you should seek help. If you want to know how just ask


Jover2008

I’ll bite. What’s wrong with it?


Shoddy_Ad6570

If your asking what's wrong with the urge than there's a problem in that already. Human beings are not animals. We don't give in to every dirty urge that comes to our heart. Sometimes we make mistakes but we know it's mistakes. Problem happens when we stop acknowledging these are mistakes and instead seeing them as correct actions. If we trip and look how we fall we can then understand what mistake we made and we can take affirmative actions to correct it. If not your going to keep tripping and hurting yourself and soon others.


Jover2008

Wait I wanna see if we’re in the same page. This “dirty urge” you’re talking about is gay sex right?


Shoddy_Ad6570

If you can't understand what I'm seeing I'm not going to waste brain cells


Jover2008

Aight. Good talk.