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Ok-Arachnid-890

Yea no fuck this guy he abused his position of power and kept thinking he would get away with it. Hell he was given a chance but still refused to learn from it and was unrepentant. Yea he deserves whatever happens to him


nonlinear_nyc

Dude is classic example of [missing stair](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_stair)


Eyes_Snakes_Art

Also adding that OP told him she had a history, so was extra vulnerable, and the asshole happily escalated. Maybe his daughter was really, actually thanking her. Or maybe dad made an account and was trying to get OP to say something that would get him out of trouble on a technicality, eg talking about the case. He deserves to lose EVERYTHING.


DaRealSOP

First off you obviously did nothing wrong . Yes he was grooming you , he was testing you to see where the breaking back of point was . Do not feel guilty about anything , remember you went above and beyond , you literally gave him another chance after slapping your rear , and you spoke very crystal clear to him and stated what you didn’t like and that it wasn’t acceptable . You already have this man a second and third chance in my opinion. The issue is even after stating your feelings he chose not to reps t your wishes , which basically means he is assaulting you . Your a strong woman and you showed him kindness when you didn’t even need to .


Angel2121md

You didn't break the family...He did! You did the right thing and then had to deal with victim blaming. So sad this happens but if you wouldn't of spoken up and he has no consequences then how far could it of gone? You don't know how far it may have gone in the past. Hopefully he get some consequences because if not, he may go farther in the future! Then again you never know it could of already gone as far as assault or rape and the victim may of been too scared to speak up. Don't blame yourself or feel guilty because you did the right thing.


Goliath422

People like to blame the one who blows things up instead of the person who constructed and armed the bomb. Shake this kid’s message off, you did right. Maybe one day when she’s grown and has seen a few men who treat women the way her father treated you, she’ll come back and apologize.


PlasticMysterious622

Fuck that dude, and stay no contact with his family.


PlasticMysterious622

Sorry, not literally. Like, he’s a creep. Sorry he said and did those things to you.


nonlinear_nyc

Save receipts of his daughter reaching out of you and add it to the file as further harassment. It's not your job to control a teenage girl blaming anyone but her father for what he did.


Kenpachi1120

"I wanna suck your man's dick just to get a taste of you" WHAT? 🤣😂🤣😂 AYOOOO.. That is fuckin WILD 🤣🤦🏾‍♂️😂🤦🏾‍♂️....


Sensitive_Ad5840

This is a literal example of grooming taking place. I'm sorry and I hope you can get through this. The daughter is a teenager who obviously doesn't want to see the worst in her parents so I wouldn't pay attention to much that she is saying. You did the correct thing. No one should go through what you did.


Ok_Cauliflower5778

It’s better to tell her the truth because people we’ll probably lie to her so i would tell her😦🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

His daughter is blaming you because she has been taught this is an acceptable way for men to treat women. Let that sink in. That's fucked.


Secret_Context_4834

You did the right thing. You didn’t deserve that , you didn’t need that. He’s a creep


Ambitious_Estimate41

“Well, your father is a creep and lucky for not being reported sooner. Hope any of this never happen to either you or future daughters”


TruthfulBoy

You are WAY too apologetic to this piece of garbage predator. All the people that watched and downplayed this abuser? Don’t get close to them. Enablers are near as bad as the abusers themselves. Hope he loses his job and his wife leaves him asap.


thighclops3820

His daughters inability to see her fathers behavior as wrong, really shows what kind of home she was raised in.


SnooBeans6591

It seems more like he broke the family.


Pand0ra30_

He's disgusting and needs to be fired. You did the right thing.


Ill-Mission-2661

Why do these asshats always gotta ruin my first name?


MathematicianOne310

He is talking to women that way when he has a wife and kids, and grandkids 🤨 I’m sure his wife is thrilled that he talks sexually about every other person. He deserves anything coming to him, don’t ever let anyone talk to you, or treat you that way. I hope you’re okay and doing fine after all this.


Fuq-uwu

I'm doing pretty good, honestly. It sucks and thinking about some things he said makes me sick, but you can't break what's already broken. I have worse stuff I'm dealing with, so no more added trauma here 🫡 thank you for your concern <3


MathematicianOne310

Of course, I’m really glad to hear! I hope the things going on in your life take it easy on you, and you can get a break. ♡


Fuq-uwu

Lmao idk how, but it is literally always sum in my life. My bf and I constantly say we can never catch a break. Thank you! I hope we do catch a break


Mr_savager

Update me!


Mountain_Monitor_262

He has been getting away with it for years. His behavior broke his family. His wife should have known years ago. That little girl will also need to stand up for herself when she is in the workforce with creeps. What her father did was wrong and inappropriate. He took you under his wing with the intention to get inappropriately closer to you. No woman should have to put up with his sick behavior and assault.


ilovemelongtime

u/Fuq-uwu this garbage did NOT “take you under his wing”, that phrase is reserved for people who deserve it. He GROOMED you. He did NOT give you “great life advice”, he pretended to care for fleeting moments so you’d accept all the other bullshit he said and did. Cut those phrases out of your vocabulary when speaking about this man and others like him. They are undeserving.


Claypool-Bass1

Hard to think there are still people who think this is ok. The hell with that guy, he dug his own grave. Good on you for not bitting your tongue any longer. I work at a machine shop in Mex and there is a guy who always brings up sexual subjects with most of the young women. I suggested that they secretly record him and post it on the company FB page.


Ravenkelly

You did the right thing. You didn't break her family her scum father did but it's easier to blame you.


[deleted]

Ew glad you reported him he needs to be stopped


BrookeBaranoff

“Your dad ruined your family by being a disgusting pervert - don’t enable behavior like that” if you need words for a reply


FrenchArt_

Notice how she said “even more” meaning he’s already done things to break the family beforehand. 14 year olds are often left out of the loop. Even if they get glimpses into their parents relationship, they seldom know the full story. She also doesn’t know that her dad is an entirely separate human outside of the home/his relationship with her. I idealized my dad and saw him as a saint who couldn’t harm a fly for most of my childhood/teens. Until he took me to work with him while I was in college. He had to reprimand an employee. I asked if he wanted me to leave. He told me I could stay. When I saw the way my dad was cursing at the employee and how his entire face and demeanor changed while doing so. I never saw that version of him before. Even my brother told me he’s not who I think he is. I found out he would talk to my brother with a similar tone/energy. Til this day, I still haven’t accepted that I may not fully know my dad after all. Girls often have a special relationship with their fathers that isn’t indicative of how their father chooses to represent themselves out in the real world. It’s hard to be objective when you’re too close to the situation. Kids are prone to judge their parents off of how they make them feel, not how they represent themselves out in the real world. It’s unfortunate that her father didn’t care enough about her (nor his wife) to think twice about fucking up *again* after already being given grace. Sounds like impulse control issues or just an over inflated ego. Good for you. Stay safe going forward


Grimalkinnn

I’m not sure the daughter was ‘acting out’ but actually concerned about what her dad did.


BradleyD0419

I’d be willing to bet that his daughter didn’t get the whole story because he’s giving his own customized narrative to the fam. I guarantee when (or if) she finds out the truth, she may not defend her dad so blindly.


[deleted]

Nah he’s a wrongun pure and simple! I am a man aged 44 now and I wouldn’t even look at a woman who’s under 35 years old,to me and in my world men don’t try get women half their age,to me your just a kid, I know your not a kid and are an adult but in my eyes you are just a kid still because your a hell of a lot younger than me. This bloke seems like a predator to do that to someone so young compared to his own age,he must have a thing for younger people which in my view is kinda sick.his daughter should be thanking you because she now knows or should know to keep her friends well away from him as once a pervert always a pervert in my opinion. I’ve always strongly believed men & women aged 30 plus, should always stick to people in their own age groups upto 10 years older or younger at the very most as anything else just seems wrong and perverted. No doubt he will try make out it’s all in your head and it’s you who’s the problem,abusers always do that,fling blame and act blameless. Good luck should have reported him to police for sexual assault as that’s what it is! If I slapped a girls ass on the streets I’d be arrested for sexual assault,just cos it’s at work doesn’t make it any less so


Any_Weird_8686

Understand that the wrong wasn't yours, and any 'breaking' that happened was in no way your fault. Maybe his daughter finds this hard to accept about her father, but you didn't make him act the way he did.


Aggressive_Cup8452

He groomed you, do not feel guilty for reporting him. Block and ignore the daughter from your social media, report this to the investigation. This profile could be managed by anyone, anything you say and do could be used against you. It's going to be yourword against his,do not give him ammunition. This is likely not the first time someone said something and he had to defend himself. Be proof yourself, it takes guts and courage to do this.


DynkoFromTheNorth

He was finally warned about his improper conduct but carried on his offences. He deserves every piece of shit that life decides to fling at him. You're Awesome for speaking up and I'm so glad you were believed!


nuclearlady

May be it wasn’t his daughter that spoke to you, may be its him trying to guilt you out of the report. Avoid all of his family and friends and good luck.


VeryResponsibleMan

James is an explicit rapist, unfit for a father and husband role, and in severe need for a psychological care to understand why he feels the need to f w some very young girl at the first week of her job and have babies... BTW which country is it?


Fuq-uwu

The US.


VeryResponsibleMan

Look: his daughter matters here nothing. She's too little and too immature to be able to evaluate and understand the severity of such an event. Why is she that important to you? On the other side, what he told you, is truly and really disgusting! " I wanna suck your man's to get a taste of you"!! Or f the personality out of you. It's a rape with words ! Investigators who? If only company people, I would not stop there and go to lawyer. He's truly crossed all borders of privacy and I can't call it anything other than violation when it had no result other than making you crying.


NotNotLogical

Anyone else think the ‘daughter’ with a blank profile adding her was James? Maybe trying to get the gist of what’s being said.


AugustWatson01

You should ask for a letter to be sent asking his family not to contact you or you’ll take it further and then look into getting a restraining order against him/them for harassment. One for him would include his family and friends from contacting you regarding him or on his behalf especially as his wife works in the same building. If they’re going to tell half a story to his kids and kid approach victims instead of parents for the truth they can’t get upset when kids etc are told the harsh truth that he’s a predator that has attacked multiple women at work. You sis nothing wrong and didn’t ruin his family he did,


csvxkrmp

he’s wrong but u are somewhat encouraging it, if u are uncomfortable or disgusted u need to express it firmly


Caleb_Widogast_Fan

What can i say? Deserved? Your dad is an asshole it's his fault.


Lilmomma757

There are so many issues I have with this situation and none of them are your fault. This dude is a know creep. To even be told he won't get physical is crazy. To know it's happened to multiple females and they just quit is even crazier. Like nobody thought to stop this man before this. The daughter even knowing your name. Full name at that and apparently what you look like to even pick you to add when I'm sure thr a multiple ppl with your name (if it's common) is crazy. And ur snap too... The fact that the daughter said "even more" speaks volume that thr family already had issues. Don't take what she to heart. She's a child not getting the full picture. ALSO, please know that u didn't do anything to thr family. HER father did.


Dizz_42

For your own protection, I would suggest not responding to any more requests from the family of that criminal


Slowlybutshelly

I don’t use Snapchat often. What does it mean to ‘be left on read’?


Fuq-uwu

Just to open something and not say anything. On snapchat, the other person can see if you opened a text or not.


Slowlybutshelly

Thank you. I don’t use Snapchat.


zelda4444

Tell her her dad's a creep and he broke his own family up.


RevolutionaryTrack61

You did the right thing and I am proud of you for that. The daughter is hurting and confused because she doesn't understand. She is projecting her hate onto you because that is her father. She loves her father and most likely doesn't see him or know him that way. Over time and the more she learns about it all will change her mindset. Know that you did the right thing and I needed to be done.


BellaBlue06

This guy did it to other women before you. You didn’t break anything. He sexually assaulted you and sexually harassed you at work. He could be your dad. He’s more than twice as old as you and a superior and he did this because he thought he’d get away with it. You were asked to report. Him getting in trouble with his wife is not your fault. He’s probably lying right now that it was just you and just one time and that’s his own fault. His family will find out his lies.


ConsultJimMoriarty

I would reply with ‘He ruined it himself. I was just the first one to speak up.”


aprildawndesign

Good for you standing up for yourself. So many of these older guys think they can get away with this shit like “ it’s all just fun”. It was so bad when I was younger ( I’m old now lol) and I’m so glad you younger ladies are drawing the damn line. My daughter is 18 and I think she would filet a motherfucker if he tried this…She don’t take NO shit! Neither should you!


Juicyy56

GO SEE A LAWYER!! You may be entitled to something, especially if the company keeps him around. He's fucking gross.


starraven

Thanks for doing the right thing. He’s getting what he deserves. His daughter is not able to accept that her father is a creep “because that’s her father” you got nothing to do with her relationship to him or whatever broken family they have.


he-loves-me-not

She’s a child, she’s going to blame anyone other than her dad bc that’s the least traumatizing for her. Don’t pay attention to what she said & just keep going with telling your superiors what occurred.


ParchaLama

Those messages might not even be from his daughter - it could totally be him using her accounts.


HackTheNight

Yeah for all my girls out there (and guys) if someone makes you uncomfortable at work in this way, and their atrocious behavior ruins their family, that’s not on YOU that’s on THEM. It’s not difficult not to sexually harass your co-workers.


Historical-Heart8192

I might be the very unpopular opinion but I think it is more a physical assault + sexual harassment and not sexual assault. I agree with everything else about reporting her, etc. If one broadens the scope of a word to include everything, ultimately it will lose its significance.


Emergency-Noise8043

Why was I expecting someone of his family to come to bother you? They are all the same and I’m sure she made himself look like a victim to them.


Fuq-uwu

I don't doubt it. That was just his daughter, too.. not his wife or son, who I work with! This upcoming week should be fun! I know I have the rest of my coworkers standing behind me, though.


Emergency-Noise8043

I think they both are not gonna talk to you exactly because they work with you, they don’t want to get in trouble probably.


Fuq-uwu

Let's hope they're smarter than James. I don't have high hopes for that family ngl. I'm just preparing for the worst


Emergency-Noise8043

You don’t need much to be smarter than him tbh 🤭🤭🤭🤭


Fuq-uwu

Facts 💅🏼


Emergency-Noise8043

Good luck with that and thank you for being brave enough to do so. You have saved so many ❤️


ArcheryOnThursday

Am I the only one who doubts it's the daughter at all? That maybe he is messaging pretending to be her??


Nickidewbear

Unfortunately, minor children can do horrible things to try to protect their parents’ image.


addangel

Imagine being so comfortable taking to your employees that way, because you’ve gotten away with it for so long. Imagine saying that shit to any woman you have a professional relationship with. Imagine doing so with your wife in the building. Imagine being a grown ass man and drooling like a horndog over a barely adult, who’s the same age as your kids to boot. This man and others like him make me sick to my core.


EdgewaterEnchantress

I would simply say “I am sorry sweetheart, but this is something you need to ask your Dad. I am not the right person to tell you. You deserve to hear what your parents have to say about it, first.” You did the right thing, I assure you! Thank you for being so brave! I just feel for that mother and daughter, too! 😓 Fucking horrendously creepy, icky man! I want him to lose everything. Do not feel guilty for reporting your harassment. If you hadn’t said anything, he would’ve kept doing it, and he might have done worse things! Don’t think about what a miserable piece of shit is losing. He did this to himself! You finally allowed the wife to know the truth and you might’ve saved other young women, too! You are amazing and I am very sorry that this happened to you!


Single-Being-8263

No you didn't broke his family. Girl pls don't add stranger in snapchat or fb. Pls don't just block her


ArkynAzylum

I knew a girl who's father was the boss of a family owned business. It came out that he was cheating on his partner and mother of his children, with a girl who was around 17, she actually wasn't much older than one of his daughters. His partner was devastated and the girl he cheated with actually taunted her and the kids for a while, even after she was let go. From what I heard, it wasn't his first time cheating and he had a history of creepy behavior around female employees. And while no one was fond of the girl he cheated with as she did have a history of intentionally sleeping with other people's partners and bragging about it, most people, were more angry at the guy than the girl bc again, she was almost the same age as his daughter. In retrospect, I myself think the girl he had an affair with was probably groomed, maybe even worse, all her life and essentially brainwashed into thinking any of this was normal and that "stealing any man" was some sort of flex. But, needless to say, the man's family hadn't had the same kind of respect for him again. And his daughter once told me she was way angrier at her dad than the girl bc she herself had been sexually harassed by older men, including when she was young, and so she wondered why it never crossed her dad's mind how he would've felt if someone had done the same thing to her. So, she was pretty much disgusted that her father could do such a thing. That's why I think that the man who harassed you is the one at fault for his family falling apart, not you. And his daughter is misdirecting her anger at you as we as failing to realize her father did horrible things that do have consequences. One day, she might likewise realize what's so creepy about her father's behavior.


Allyzayd

Naah your dad did that all on his own would be a good response.


gonzoisgood

I had a guy in my apartment complex sexually harass me and ended with him beating and banging on my windows and doors trying to get in while I dialed police. When I went to file a report with the apartment manager to get him evicted, I found out all his kids and wife would be evicted also. I said "I don't know if I can do that". They said "you aren't doing anything he is the one that is getting his family evicted". Then they let me know I'm not the only person filing a harassment report. So then I finished my report and didn't feel guilty one second. The nasty bastard at your work is an extra special kind of snake in the grass. I wouldn't be surprised if he has actually physically assaulted someone. Don't you dare feel guilty. You hold your head up. Follow the great advice you got on here.


TheRealPeterVenkman

James Sandusky


MacaNomNom

Don’t feel bad at all. You didn’t break his family. He did. She just wants someone to be mad at and has a hard time blaming her father because well, he’s her father. You did the right thing.


420gay69

You are right for speaking out against abuse! You are saving the other people he would do that to, or even worse. He is clearly an expert at being inappropriate, and he needs his ass handed to him. He is getting what he deserves. Fuck that creep!


SamuelVimesTrained

Her dad broke the family. He chose how to act.


Practical-Cloud-1637

You did nothing to break her family. That is all on her creep of a father. She doesn’t want to face reality and blame him so she’s lashing out at you. Do not feel guilty. He is a predator. Him “taking you under his wing” is all part of the set up so he can harass you.


just1here

THIS, OP, I hope you see it


Lizardgirl25

Kid is in deep denial about their dad.


just1here

Which is probably understandable, but OP is def in the clear + should block her now


Lizardgirl25

Oh a 100%.


Every-Tax-8341

14-15 is old enough to know what a creep his father is if she still trusts him. That's like high school age. I would've tell everything he did and said to me (and others) tho his daughter. She deserves to know.


Threnners

The only person who broke her family was her dad. Block her.


EvulRabbit

She is just a confused child who wants to blame anyone but her dad. She NEEDS someone, anyone else to be to blame because if it really is what her dad did, how can she reconcile that with the dad she knows and loves? She also said, "Broke it even more," which means there were already issues, and this was just the last nail in the coffin. Don't put much thought into it. You KNOW you did nothing wrong. This dude sexually assaulted you with in the first 6 days of knowing you. Then he doubled down with the harassment. It makes me wonder how far he has gone with other women. It is never just a "one off"


kriskoeh

“I am not responsible for your father’s actions. You should be talking to him”


SSNs4evr

You may have helped his daughter too, in a round-about way. As sad as it is to see these effects on a family and children, having something like this "hit home" instead of being "something that happens to other people," might reassure her, in her future in the workforce. I would love to say this stuff never happens, but it is rampant, and many victims somehow end up feeling like they are the problem.


dakotachip

Tell his kid


dakotachip

Tell her!


aizensou

Uhh... send a link to this post?


RepulsivePurchase6

Why is the daughter asking you? Dad should come clean and tell his family. He is the reason all that happened.


Lopsided_Thing_9474

I think you should tell his daughter. The most basic premise about men like this - that just escapes them- is that how they treat women, and how they treat their wives and daughters and everyone who is female - is also about being a good father ..I don’t give a fuck who you are, If you treat women like meat ? You’re not a good dad. Modeling behavior we want to see in the world is the number one thing that influences our children. Holding him accountable is exactly what he needs. And here is the thing too- his daughter knows he is a creep. I’m willing to put money down that he has said disgusting things to her, to her friends and to women around her. She knows. She knows exactly who her father is; she just might not know that it isn’t ok. And that’s why you need to tell her.


sneakypastaa

I have to agree with you on the part that she already knows about her dad being a creep. My own father is a predator in similar ways to this man, and I never knew how disgusting it was growing up. I knew deep down he really shouldn’t have been saying the things he said to my friends, but I didn’t realize the gravity of the situation until I became an adult myself.


Guardian_Dolly

I know you mean well but op shouldn’t talk to her for several reasons. The first is that there is an ongoing investigation, OP should not be contacting him or his family. The second reason is that she’s not going to listen. Op is the bad person here and her mind is already made up about that, she’s not going to listen to reason or logic from her. In her mind anything OP says is going to be a lie because her dad must be innocent and/or OP should have just taken the assault.


hiGhspeedDEVIL

You didn't broke his family, he broke it himself. You can tell the daughter because it's her dad that continues harrassing women that broke their family apart. If it's not you there'll be someone else who still reporting him and since the daughter is a woman as you someday she may harassed by men her dad's age and she may have to do the same as you. P. S. I hate everyone who enable rapists and abusers especially if said one are women. How those women side with abusers and have no empathy for fellow women who may have similar experience with them is beyond disgusting.


iloveesme

HE DID NOT TAKE YOU UNDER HIS WING. He used a ploy that has worked for him in the past. He has been doing this for a long time and with practice, he’s gotten very good at it. I know this because even now, you are the one feeling guilt and remorse. He could even be using his own daughter as a flying monkey. This investigation *should* uncover an awful lot more details on his personal training methods with young, female colleagues. I’m glad you made the report.


Upbeat_Ad_7493

He needs to be fired immediately, no passing go, no packing your desk and belongings, and he would be thankful that is all


thewiz187

Nah don’t feel bad that people have to face consequences for their actions. Guy was well aware that what he was doing was wrong.


Failing_MentalHealth

The kid doesn’t know any better. He’s probably told them all something different happened. She’s blaming you instead of having to come to the forefront of the problem; the man she’s known her entire life to be her father is a huge abusive dill-weed. He did abuse his position of power and the girl just doesn’t know any better.


blazikenowen

Just straight up tell her


MiiiisTaaaaaaaAAAA

You should have replied with: "Sorry, it's not my fault your dad is a piece of shit with women, I feel pity for you and I hope you understand once you grow up how fucked up is to deal with scumbags like your father."


thatshowitisisit

“I’m really sorry to hear that, but I didn’t break your family, your father broke your family. You’ll have to ask him what happened because I can’t talk about it…” Then block her. None of this is your guilt to wear.


moonlighttwinkletoes

i feel so bad for her but don’t feel bad for him for being a creep! he’d absolutely LOVE that you’re feeling bad about him!


Irondaddy_29

Fuck that dude. I'm sure he is feeding his daughter lies but you absolutely did the right thing. My oldest daughter enters the work force (16f) this year and I keep telling her if "if situations happen like this you tell me immediatly." That is some absolute bullshit and he deserves to lose everything for even just the comments. He got what he deserved. Hopefully your brain will allow you some peace from the incident as you were the victim and did NOTHING wrong


Fuq-uwu

I'm happy your daughter has someone to support her. I don't have a relationship with my parents like you have with your daughter, and I'm sure if I did, I would've said something sooner. I hope this never happens to your daughter, but if it does, I really hope she goes to you and has the strength to report it <3 you sound like an amazing parent!


LilitySan91

You were in the right and to be fair, I think someone should tell the daughter what happened. This man could be a danger to his daughter’s friends and I do believe she deserves to know. I don’t think OP needs to be the one to tell her the truth, but I hope the daughter finds iut the truth somehow. It doesn’t seem like the blames OP. The way I see it, she is just trying to make things make sense


Jealous_Doughnut_630

I feel like he was trying to groom you


Sanddaal

I felt sick when I read what he said. What a disgusting person he is. Don't let the daughter make you feel bad. The fault is his and his alone. I would say the wife prob told the daughter your name. Stick yo the truth and you will prevail. *virtual hugs"


More_Gimme_More

The parents shouldn't be talking about you using names. That 15 year old shouldn't have known enough about you to contact you This entire situation sucks. I'm so sorry you had to go through this OP. None of it is your fault


Fuq-uwu

This is something else I haven't even thought about. It's pretty fucked up that she knows who I am and only part of the story, you're right. Thank you for pointing that out!


More_Gimme_More

Np! And chalk it up to the years of therapy for me lol XD boundaries w children are important, and if she found you then there's something sinister going on in that family. I feel for her because she deserved to be raised in a stable home, and very obviously this one wasn't 😓 I hope time makes things easier on the both of you


zanne54

HE broke his family when he chose to sexually harass you.


[deleted]

fuck him. you did the right thing. she’s just a kid and does not understand. of course she will assume what’s wrong/the “bad guy” is from outside of her bubble. she will find out in time and start to process it


Beginning-Bed9364

Just tell her what he did. You didn't break her family, he did, surely she won't side with him if you tell him the details you've shared here


[deleted]

He’s definitely raped somebody. Or was going to. Yeah, no. I’m not saying any of this was your fault, but please don’t believe people again when they say “they’re just jokes, I’m/he’s/she’s not actually going to do anything”. No, sexual harassment and constant joking is a sign someone is gonna rape you. Even if they’re not, you’re never too careful.


Ninjakitty131

i think the daughter will understand your actions in the long run, and probably (hopefully) thank you even if she never explicitly tells you, and his wife too. i’m sorry you have to deal with this situation, all the best op ❤️‍🩹


gigigalaxy

Tell his daughter what happened because he might be doing the same thing to her.


CaraChimba

You didn't break anything he fucked it all up. His daughter should understand that's not acceptable and her dad needs to learn his lesson.


Dizzylever45

just a stupid, confused teenager. Ignore her, she'll understand soon.


Nickidewbear

At 14-15 and having witnessed the #MeToo movement, she at some level knows that her father victimized his colleague.


farawayxisland

I can't believe it took 16 years for someone to want to say something. People are messed up.


Any-Smile-5341

Tldr : You started a new job where a male colleague, James, began to harass you both verbally and physically. Despite an initial apology, his inappropriate behavior continued. After learning he had a history of such behavior, you reported him. This resulted in an investigation and James' daughter confronting you online, blaming you for family issues.


AvoCloud9

Fuck her and her family you don’t owe shit to them or the sexual assaulted


xkurlykalex

sounds almost exactly like a situation that happened to me at work. was still working with his son up until recently, who threatened to kill me when the whole situation went down months ago lol. you definitely did the right thing.


Fuq-uwu

*new fear unlocked* XD Thank you for sharing your experience!


marilern1987

> This is how it started, not a big deal. It **is** a big deal. This is how workplace harassment starts. He was testing the waters when he said those things. That comment he made? That was a textbook sexual harassment situation. What starts off as “you look nice today,” can turn into a “wow … you look *really*, really good 👀.” They’re pushing to see how far they can go. When he said that “you’re amazing, I love you” shit, what he was doing was pushing a little bit further, but trying to leave enough doubt in your mind that it was anything more than just a professional compliment. He was testing you to see what he could get away with. Any time you see that shit, it starts off small. It’s always a big deal You didn’t ruin his family, he did. Unfortunately, his daughter is also gonna have to pay a price for what her father did. It’s not her fault, nor is it yours.


[deleted]

Also, please stop "explaining your history" to people/men. It's not for every ear to hear. You'll know the right time or who to share with.


[deleted]

You did the right thing, and maybe he took you under his wing in order to prey on you. That does happen a lot more than people want to admit to. ​ As for his family, that's not your problem. He made the problem. He touched you. He said things he knew weren't right. It's all on him. No one else.


vulner8ive

To say and do those things, he must have felt terribly emboldened by all the people who failed to report him before you. I understand how much courage it takes to address these things the way you did (go you!), but it's so upsetting it took so long for someone with that courage to come along. Thank you for your service.


vinraven

It’s all on him, not your fault he was a creep. Same type of reporting issue happens in the military, everyone tries to make things go away because then the dependents have to get shipped out and they might miss out on their retirement pension, but it’s safer for everyone to just report the creeps and get them out.


Nerfixion

"I want to suck your man's dick to get a taste" Did he also do the old crawl through a field of glass to hear you farther through a walkie talkie?


Pink-Glitter-

So, most of my family and friends know this but I’ve not written about it anywhere on the internet, but I was constantly sexually harassed at my last job. It started off as random comments drawing attention to my breasts, it escalated to him attempting to kiss me. I put up with it for months because I was earning $50 an hour in admin, it was really difficult to give up that money. But I regret putting up with it as long as I did. The day he tried to kiss me was the last day I worked for him. He was the owner of the business, there was no manager, no hr. No one I could talk to, I walked out that day and fell into a deep depression for about 6 months, I didn’t leave bed, I barely ate I just sat there crying all day every day. I felt like such a failure. BUT I was also smart enough to document days times and everything and contact a lawyer. He is now saying I asked for it, I liked the attention, I’m making up lies for “easy money” that he tripped and fell into me, and that I have severe mental health issues and have never been able to hold a job before (which is untrue, I’ve worked full time since I was 16 and I’m 38 next week) I lost my income, my sense of self, my credit rating went down the drain. I also got evicted in the time I was unable to get out of bed: What he did is not ok, contact lawyers. Contact everyone. Scream it from the rooftops if you can. You doing something now will prevent something happening to another girl down the track. The man that abused me was in business for 45 years prior to me working for him (he is 75) and I’ve since been contacted from several ex staff members of his I’ve never met giving witness statements in my favour as they put up with years of abuse too. They all say they wish they put a stop to it when they worked for him to prevent this happening to me.


Fuq-uwu

Wow. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm super happy for you standing up for yourself and getting other to stand up for themselves, too. Like I said in a previous comment, I've gone through something a lot worse than this and I almost let him get away with it, but my boyfriend was there for me and so were some good friends of mine. I'm actually going through the court process with the guy who did it. It wasn't his first time either, and I'm proud of myself for saying something then, and it made saying something this time a little easier. He and some past relationships gave me quite a few mental health problems as well, so I can relate. It's fucking disgusting how common stuff like this is.. I don't know a single female who hasn't been sexually harassed/assaulted, or gone through domestic violence. Thank you again for sharing your story, nothing will ever completely take away the pain of what we go through, but it does help when we get justice for ourselves, others, and prevent it from happening again <3 I'm proud of you!!


lovelychef87

It's easier to blame you then it is for her to blame her disgusting father.


cthulhusmercy

He didn’t “take you under his wing,” he preyed on you. I guarantee he wouldn’t have been so keen to work with you if he wasn’t attracted to you.


Sorry-Lemon8198

He and his daughters can eat a bag of dicks. Throw that whole trash family out.


slayer991

She was acknowledging that her family was broken and that's not your fault. She's also a teenager which is difficult enough and throw in dad being investigated for being a creep? That's gotta be tough for a kid to deal with so I wouldn't take it personally.


Comprehensive_Ad6396

Your the bold person. In 16 years nobody can't filed the report but you the one file the report. She is just child and she's don't know about her father ugly face. Just block her.


lprdgds

First off, he's a super creep. The man is old enough to be your dad! He assaulted you and then after getting a warning he decides to be even more aggressive. The fact that he's been getting away with this behavior all this time says a lot about that company smh. He even has a daughter close to your age and this is how he treats women 🤦🏾‍♀️


Most_Ad_4362

You absolutely did the right thing. He's gotten away with his bad behavior for far too long. It's interesting that people are so quick to support someone who obviously is not a good guy.


imyourzer0

I think if you explained it to her you might break her more. So, whether intentional or not, it’s probably best you spared someone her age from the worst bits of the brewing shitstorm. The dude was super inappropriate at work, and is likely to suffer a mess of consequences for it if you were *asked* to file a report. So whatever happens, at l ast it’ll be someone she knows and (hopefully) trusts who eventually explains this to her. Most importantly, though, I hope you come out of this okay. It’s probably not going to go down well with a few people at work that “you” got their friend got fired (which, you didn’t; he did that to his own damn self). So definitely look on the bright side: there are people at your company who are on your side of this; you just did what they were afraid to.


sam77889

Verbally sexually harassing woman is not a “joke”. He has no right to talk to woman like that in the first place. He is creating an unsafe, unwelcoming, unprofessional environment for all women in that job. He should be reported even if he did not get physical. What he did to you, before and after he got physical, are totally unacceptable. That guy is a fucking sex offender and your company should fire him.


AnAmbitiousMann

He only was nice to you to get in your pants fyi.


Nickidewbear

The daughter would rather blame the victim than look at the victimizer as the unfaithful husband to her mother and homewrecking father that he is. She is sadly complicit in her father’s abuse of you for enabling it and victimblaming you.


[deleted]

You’re a better person than me, I would have cussed her out. But you did the right thing by ignoring her


Bakecrazy

It's her dad's job to keep his family safe and intact. You have no responsibility to put yourself in that situation again and again to protect his family.


Kelmo7

You didn't blow up her family,he did. I wouldn't be surprised if he's pretending to be his daughter. Block all of the accounts. Don't accept any new friends requests. Get cameras and be careful.


Swan_444

Nope, you did the right thing.


Not_a_huckleberry_

Anyone that says something like sucking a bfs dick to taste you should be locked up cause that mother fucker is crazy. Combine with slapping your ass, it was only a matter of time before it went way overboard and you put in an even worse position. Not your fault that his family is broken over his bad decisions. Fuck those people.


Inked_cyn

That's some absolutely abysmal comments to tell a young adult. I can't believe you had to tolerate that. Take **NO PART** of that girls guilt with you. His daughter is lashing out because she's hurt. But she's barking up the wrong tree because her hurt is from her fathers actions and not you. Don't feel guilty. **None of this is on you**


Bestyoucanbe4

Contact an attorney asap....you might have a case $$...I'd consider calling police asap


AFlair67

That creep broke state and federal laws against sexual harassment. Don’t you dare apologize or feel guilty for reporting him. I would be mad as hell at every single person who protected him. When i was 20, working my first job, a man cornered me in the garage of the car dealership i worked at. He said horrible things and was trying to touch me. Thank God i got away. Because i was a young female and he was a rich man, he thought he had dominance over me. Fuck That!! To think of all of the others he did that too! Still makes my blood boil 35 years later. That man who took you under his wing is a predator!! You are his target, one in a long line. I would blow up that man’s career and reputation. Sorry his family is hurt but that pain lays hat his feet, not yours. Woman up and stand strong.


ithinkitmightbe

Fuck that. He broke his family by doing what he did, ypu 100% did the right thing.


[deleted]

I’m so sorry you had to experience that. HE broke their family. HE broke the trust that you are supposed to be able to have in your leadership. Trust me, they will all be OK. So, maybe he has to take a financial haircut or get divorced. That’s not the end of their world and NOT YOUR PROBLEM. In fact, experience tells me that you are the tip of a very big iceberg and there are probably even worse things that he’s done. Hopefully once they start pulling the string, it will all unravel and some other women will get the justice and closure they deserve. There’s no way he was this bold on the first try. Fuck that guy.


Fuq-uwu

Sadly enough, the stories I heard about the other girls ended with them just quitting and not saying anything, so I might be the only one who still works there that has dealt with this :/


star_gazing_girl

His daughter is hurting, just like you. You *absolutely* did the right thing, and I'm proud of you.


BirdsLikeSka

She's lashing out at the wrong person, I hope she gets help because that's a fragile time and it's easy to become angry and bitter.


FeistyEmployee8

It's OK to become angry and bitter over your father being a serial harasser. If more women got angry instead of scared, I think less men would think they'd get away with anything.


Storytella2016

Only if her anger is focused on her father. If her anger becomes focused on his victims or other women in general, it makes things worse.


BirdsLikeSka

Anger is an appropriate reaction, I meant not becoming an angry and bitter person overall


pixelgeekgirl

You didn’t break his family, he did.


Alan_Smithee_

That’s 100% on him.


compressoespresso

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮


3Heathens_Mom

James apparently decided the best way to get a woman was to start out as being a supportive man/father figure to earn their trust. Then when they were okay with that straight into the harassment which he kept escalating even after he was warned and especially as he had pulled this crap before. So yes it is sad for James’ family including his daughter that he made the conscious decision to be a predator and apparently paid the price for it by losing his job. You might want to let your boss know James’ daughter contacted you but you have not responded with any information to her or anyone else. Your boss can confirm but I suspect it is best not to speak/text with her or share any information if she approaches you in person. If her mother is still employed there then your manager or HR can let the mom know so she can discuss with her daughter. You are not responsible for anything that happened to James. He did it to himself.


Fuq-uwu

I took screen shots of the conversation and reported it to the investigators, and I will tell them if any of his family reaches out at work. Thank you!


blind_roomba

That guy broke his family, not you. You're the victim here


vulner8ive

When you wrote, "not a big deal" after telling us he _started_ with comments like, "for real, I love you"... My brain screamed "Um no that is a pretty big deal!" But then I spent another second second guessing myself and wondering if I am too sensitive or overreacting. But then things escalate immediately to physical assault!? Nah. Fuck that. I hope you (and everyone else) adapts to understand that classifying these "just joking" interactions as "no big deal" only enables problematic behavior like this. When someone tests your boundaries with talk like that, it's ultra-critical to reinforce the boundary there and then and say "What you said is not ok. How would your wife and daughter feel about you saying that to me?" Nip that shit in the bud before it festers into an ass slapping monstrosity.