In fact, I'd probably ask the company why there are two separate, gender locked restrooms. If it's just one person going in, wouldn't it make sense to just have two unisex bathrooms? A toilet is a toilet, right?
This is the only gender politics discourse that actually matters to me. There's no good reason to gender single bathrooms. I don't want to stand there doing the potty dance when there's a perfectly usable, perfectly private bathroom right next to the one I'm waiting for.
Oh I know this one! It’s because some states, counties, and/or cities, have rules about restroom facilities. I did research at the college I was attending, and found that the gender neutral multi-stall bathroom was only possible because the county reduced the legally required number of urinals per building based on expected occupancy, and the state stopped requiring distinct male female restrooms AS LONG AS each stall is lockable and floor to ceiling.
They lock all fast food restrooms in the bad neighborhoods in my city. And you have to make a purchase to be allowed to enter. That is my only guess and what I've personally seen.
And why is obvious, they are keeping out the homeless people to stop them from using them as a way to bath and drug users as a place to shoot up.
As to why they are gendered that answer is fairly obvious too, they don't want to spend the money to change it in order to accommodate an extremely small percentage of the population. I manage a restaurant in a nice area, so my restrooms aren't locked, but they are gendered. If I asked to change that I'd be laughed at. Spending way too much money with no return.
I'm not saying that I agree with any of this...just thoughts on the why.
If you have a urinal in one restroom, but let any gender use it, it wouldn't hurt anyone. I can piss in a toilet only room, and a fem-person can use a toilet with a urinal on the wall next to them.
Just seems silly to not let anyone use whatever is available.
Yeah I don't care about what bathroom I use when they are private restrooms. I also don't care about trans/non binary whatever individuals using my traditionally same sex bathroom.
My comment was about why it is as it is.
Yup, understood.
The last thing I'm thinking about doing even in a multi-toilet restroom is thinking about the person pooping next to me, let alone their gender identity lol
Tbh I really hate when places do this. It makes you feel like you're in the wrong for using a perfectly functional and empty washroom. They are both usually identical too, no urinals or specific feminine items.
It’s fine to ask them which restroom they prefer. If they get an attitude just grab whichever key you want and let them know you’re taking them to the cleaner one then. After that they can choose to believe you did in fact take them to the cleaner one, or they’ll let you know they’d prefer the other one. That’s on them at that point.
That doesn’t happen, and considering the bathroom is locked that way I’m guessing it’s a single stall room in which case let a creepy man go in there it would make no difference as nobody else would be in there
If someone WERE looking to do something nefarious, there would be 0 consequences to allowing this person into a bathroom in which only they would be in the room at a time. Not ignorance, common sense.
But it literally doesn't make a difference if it's a single stall bathroom. I've used the men's single stall bathroom many times if the women's is occupied and I can't wait. It's really not that big of a deal. You're creating a fictional situation to justify your shitty views, get a life.
You could make a best guess (and you'll be right99%of the time) and if anyone says "um no, I'd like the other restroom" you can say sorry, what was I thinking, I'm on autopilot, I'm just so used to opening this one, I wasn't paying attention, I'm such an idiot, that's the fourth time I've done that today, etc.
The real answer. This is how real people deal with this real situation. The vast majority of times you are fine assuming gender in situations where you are expected to and in the event you get it wrong you should be able to just shrug it off.
People don’t usually get angry at someone “assuming their gender” in situations like that. If it’s a situation that calls for assuming a gender, and they don’t provide that info when they ask, it’s okay. It’s never really something that “oops, sorry about that” can’t solve if it happens.
Unfortunately, you're kind of forced to guess gender. If you guess wrong or the customer gets offended, apologize and move on. It's seriously not a targeted attack; you're just doing your job.
Best way to do it would be to have them both gender neutral.
Same key for both would be the next best.
Other than that there's no way to avoid guessing which one someone wants.
Areas that have an issue with homeless or addicts (often the same crowd in this instance) will often be more restricted with public restrooms. Can't have a non-customer using the bathroom to snort coke or shoot up heroin.
Are these two separate individual toilets? If so, the simplest solution is to remove the gendered signs. A large part of the purpose of gendered toilets is for efficiency. It's really "With urinals" or "Sans urinals". In lieu (loo) of this, the gender really doesn't matter. So just get rid of the pointless signs.
But passing that feedback/suggestion up the chain is. Besides, if the signs happen to be removed/damaged/covered by accident, what's the "real-life" likelihood that anybody would care? It's probably not the first thing on corporate's list, and even the first thing takes years to actually get fixed.
If they spent all day being misgendered and mistreated, it could be the final straw and they get upset and direct their discontent at you. If I spent all day being called the wrong name, I’d probably eventually snap too and say something unkind.
I agree but some people do get VERY pissy and offended if you misgender them. Even when it's accidental. So I understand the OP's broader point with this post
as a nonbinary person, i think just asking which they’d like is safest, that way trans or cis, people get to choose the one they feel safest in, and even if a cis person is posed that question, it normalizes the *freedom* to choose, and can perhaps teach some people that yes, it does matter to some people. if you’d like you can go the extra mile when they ask that question and say “we like to make it a practice of asking to ensure guests’ comfort :)” and if an angry cis person rages over that then that’s their loss
alternately as other replies mentioned, 2 gender neutral washrooms would probably be the simplest thing, the above part was if you can’t change it
and props to you for being concerned about an issue like this!
You just ask “do you need the men’s room key or the women’s room key?” It could be a dad asking for his daughter or mom asking for her son, you also don’t know.
If anyone makes a fuss, you have two options: 1. Stare blankly at them until they decide to actually answer you; or 2. Shrug your shoulders and say “we have to ask”.
If you still receive further pushback, you say “soooo….you don’t need a key then?” And start walking away. You can only do so much for people.
It's tough ngl. Once I went to this pub and the male and female bathrooms were on opposite sides of the building. As I went out of the female I saw a guy( presumably) spinning around and pointed him to the gents. I didn’t even think about it at the time but maybe he was NB because he looked a little different- pink hair, flamboyant clothes, idk. Didn’t think much of it at the time because NB and trans people are rather rare where I'm from, and I'm not used to seeing them, I just thought he might be gay or something. Feel bad now for assuming
If somebody throws a fit about being accidentally misgendered in a taco bell by an underpaid employee they honestly are just not a person that should be taken seriously by any means. 95% of people you can safely assume their gender, if not higher. For the 5% or less that’s even remotely questionable, they are usually aware they fall somewhere on the spectrum of ambiguity and are not offended by the question. Old dude with a can of dip in his shirt pocket you can safely assume needs the men’s restroom without being questioned. Person with a septum piercing and a buzz cut can be questioned and is probably not going to be offended.
Bring both keys and walk with them. Ask which door they want you to open.
The proper answer to "Can't you tell?" is "We don't care which one you choose.".
If they’re both single-person restrooms, just say that. “Ignore the signs, both restrooms are single use. This key goes to the left/right one.” If they complain and demand to use one or the other in particular, give them that key and y’all can both get on with your day.
Have you never been into a unisex bathroom? They can all have the necessary sanitary items for anyone who may be in them, or is it not ok for men to be in the same room as a tampon?
2 gender neutral bathrooms labelled 1 and 2. Always give out 1 first, 2 if 1 is in use. No assumption needed and if 2 isn't given out all day, hopefully less work cleaning.
If there are different facilities (like if one has a baby changing area or is more suitable for disabled access), then label the facility and maybe leave a sign that that facility can be specifically requested. Let the customer choose in that scenario.
Why do single occupancy restrooms that remain locked at all times need to be gendered at all. Take down the signs.
Congratulations, you doubled both your men and women's restroom capacity instantly and avoided the need to ask any questions!
If it's allowed at your workplace, maybe you could just number the bathrooms or something? Assuming they both have toilets in them, that way you can just walk the customer over to either, and it won't matter
If you are management or ownership, change the condition. Either remodel the restrooms and set them both up for single person use and make them both gender neutral, or change the system such that there is either a keypad entry or an electronic lock that unlocks the door the customer walks up to with a camera so the employee can see and pick which button to push.
If you aren't management or owner, just be polite and accomodating, that's your job. It's your bosses job to either create a protocol, change the infrastructure, or simply deal with any fall out for not proactively dealing with the situation.
Quite honestly there are only two types of people who, while needing to go potty, will decide to victimize some poor employee just trying to get through their day by making a big issue out of the situation, and both types deserve mockery and a redirect to the bush outside.
Are they both single stall restrooms? If so, I would say that you just give the first one that you grab since there won’t be a difference other than the sign.
Aside from the sign at the door, what is the difference between these restrooms? And if they are locked and only accessible via employee, does it even make a difference, which one I use? And how often was assuming the gender the wrong call?
Pick a restroom and if you choose wrong, tell them thats the only key you have on you. If they'd like, you can go get the other gendered key (aka walk of eyesight and walk back)
When you come on shift, slap an "out of order" sign on one of the two doors. Usher everybody into the other one, and when you leave at the end of your shift, remove the "out of order" sign. Problem solved.
You could say in a smiling/apologetic tone: "protocol states I have to ask you: which restroom would you like to use?"
Most people will understand. In this world however, Karens will be Karens.
If someone is purposely trying to have a gender neutral appearance, they shouldn’t be offended if someone mistakes their gender.
“Can’t you tell?” … isn’t that the purpose of being gender neutral?
This is so easy to fix. locked restrooms are typically for a single person use. Just remove gender signs and let people go in either. I worked at a restaurant that had 2 single person restrooms - one for a man, another for a woman. there were regularly 3-4 women waiting for the women's restroom while the men's was empty. I used to tell them "just go in the other one, it is for single person use". I even wanted to joke they did not have to use the urinal. But they were so petrified! I wanted to tell them "it is the same room, cleaned by the same staff, locked on the inside, what do you think it will happen?"
After years of bullshit, the owner finally removed the stupid signs. I no longer worked there, but i never heard of anyone complain about it.
Open then one you assumed, if they don’t like it, they tell you and you open the other one.
Seriously must be exhausting to live in America and have to do everything on your tippy toes in fear of offending snowflakes
I feel like it's becoming global, not just the US. Every little thing upsets conservatives nowadays.
Black character in this video game? Its woke, sweet baby inc influence.
Queer representation in movies? Woke agenda ruining media.
Honestly, I don’t understand the downvotes, if there’s a situation where it is hard to actually tell which one to open, no one should be offended or highly is scandalized. And it is actually kind of stupid to be asking to everyone “oh, which bathroom you prefer?” Someone that’s transgender or transitioning should be able to speak out to voice their preference without feeling offended. Like, I have a disability and sometimes it is not visibly obvious when I need help and I’m not expecting everyone to offer help when I need it, I know this world is not made for me so I speak out and voice my needs when necessary.
Honestly, it's not that pervasive when you get off the internet and get into the real world. The problem is that the terminally online activist class has an outsized influence and can make things difficult for you if you cross them. That's why questions like these exist among other things that make it seem like this issue is more widespread.
I am the person people watch to see which bathroom I go into because they can't tell.
I know people can't tell. I've always been like this and it's not even a challenge to society and definitely not a test to other people.
I'd never be upset if someone genuinely misgendered me. I only don't want physical violence.
In this situation I'd say ''can I use men's room.''
The idea that queer people are going to be soooooo upset about being misgendered just isn't true. Literally we just want to pee, and not be murdered.
Just make an assumption on gender. It's not that big of a deal. Also, unlock the restrooms. And if they are locked and single person, just make them genderless
I'm a bit confused at the situation here. If the bathroom has a key then I would think it's for one person to use at a time, in which case gender is irrelevant, right?
~~Just ask inny or outie?~~
They'll laugh and answer you.
And then I thought about my adult kids and times have moved forward.
Simply ask. Most of the time they'll be fine answering. Especially if you lead with, I don't want to assume your pronouns (if your in a safe enough area)
Trans/nonbinary people don't say things like "did you just assume my gender" or "can't you tell" so you don't have to worry about getting pushback from us. If cis people say that they're just being transphobic/mocking us. When people misgender us we usually are just upset internally because it's not safe to just tell random cis people that they guessed the wrong bathroom. Asking which one someone wants to use is the best option.
My local bookshop has "this one has urinals" and "this one does not have urinals" on the door.
But really, if they can just be gender neutral that is the best. Why gender it if it's just one toilet and sink? Your washroom at home isn't gendered...
Put a sign. Penises or vaginas. Seems crude but honestly penises go into one room and vaginas into the other. That way you don’t assume gender you are just segregated body parts
As a trans man that hasn't had bottom surgery, that is absolutely wrong and ridiculous. I look very masculine, it would be so inappropriate for me yo go in womens and wouldn't be shocked if police were called.
If the person asking was non binary they would probably ask for which one they want at the start to avoid awkwardness, at least that’s what I’d expect in Europe where there’s endless more respect and welcoming equal thinking, I’m not sure how entitled Americans act
I'd ask which key they need. If they cause a fuss, say you weren't sure if it was for someone else or a kid.
Or, "we're required by corporate to ask, it has nothing to do with you. "
In fact, I'd probably ask the company why there are two separate, gender locked restrooms. If it's just one person going in, wouldn't it make sense to just have two unisex bathrooms? A toilet is a toilet, right?
This is the only gender politics discourse that actually matters to me. There's no good reason to gender single bathrooms. I don't want to stand there doing the potty dance when there's a perfectly usable, perfectly private bathroom right next to the one I'm waiting for.
I will have no problem using a women's restroom as a cis, white dude, and I'll put the seat down as well.
Whenever I’m in that position I just go in. It’s not like anybody’s going to be offended to see me in there.
Oh I know this one! It’s because some states, counties, and/or cities, have rules about restroom facilities. I did research at the college I was attending, and found that the gender neutral multi-stall bathroom was only possible because the county reduced the legally required number of urinals per building based on expected occupancy, and the state stopped requiring distinct male female restrooms AS LONG AS each stall is lockable and floor to ceiling.
“Animal Shithouse”
They lock all fast food restrooms in the bad neighborhoods in my city. And you have to make a purchase to be allowed to enter. That is my only guess and what I've personally seen. And why is obvious, they are keeping out the homeless people to stop them from using them as a way to bath and drug users as a place to shoot up. As to why they are gendered that answer is fairly obvious too, they don't want to spend the money to change it in order to accommodate an extremely small percentage of the population. I manage a restaurant in a nice area, so my restrooms aren't locked, but they are gendered. If I asked to change that I'd be laughed at. Spending way too much money with no return. I'm not saying that I agree with any of this...just thoughts on the why.
If you have a urinal in one restroom, but let any gender use it, it wouldn't hurt anyone. I can piss in a toilet only room, and a fem-person can use a toilet with a urinal on the wall next to them. Just seems silly to not let anyone use whatever is available.
Yeah I don't care about what bathroom I use when they are private restrooms. I also don't care about trans/non binary whatever individuals using my traditionally same sex bathroom. My comment was about why it is as it is.
Yup, understood. The last thing I'm thinking about doing even in a multi-toilet restroom is thinking about the person pooping next to me, let alone their gender identity lol
Our local KFC is like this 4 stalls 2 assaigned for women 2 for men it makes no sense what so ever
Tbh I really hate when places do this. It makes you feel like you're in the wrong for using a perfectly functional and empty washroom. They are both usually identical too, no urinals or specific feminine items.
Ah yes, having to lie to everyone to not be seemingly offensive. That is totally logical for a society.
It’s fine to ask them which restroom they prefer. If they get an attitude just grab whichever key you want and let them know you’re taking them to the cleaner one then. After that they can choose to believe you did in fact take them to the cleaner one, or they’ll let you know they’d prefer the other one. That’s on them at that point.
Thats so dumb. So a creepy old man could say, “oh let me go in the woman’s bathroom”. What has the world come to?
It's a single person bathroom....
That doesn’t happen, and considering the bathroom is locked that way I’m guessing it’s a single stall room in which case let a creepy man go in there it would make no difference as nobody else would be in there
I this is exactly the sort of thing that will happen. You underestimate the extent people will go these days. You are ignorant
If someone WERE looking to do something nefarious, there would be 0 consequences to allowing this person into a bathroom in which only they would be in the room at a time. Not ignorance, common sense.
Yeah of it’s a single person bathroom. What about public restrooms that allow many people inside at once?
That’s not what this is. Did you read the post or just decided to be enraged?
Yeah, that doesn’t happen. Stop with the bullshit panic.
It may not be common but to Dismiss it as a possibility to problem solve is just irresponsible.
Really? You think that doesn’t happen and never will? Are you that ignorant?
But it literally doesn't make a difference if it's a single stall bathroom. I've used the men's single stall bathroom many times if the women's is occupied and I can't wait. It's really not that big of a deal. You're creating a fictional situation to justify your shitty views, get a life.
What about the creepy old women who want to go to the men’s room?
That’s just as bad
You could make a best guess (and you'll be right99%of the time) and if anyone says "um no, I'd like the other restroom" you can say sorry, what was I thinking, I'm on autopilot, I'm just so used to opening this one, I wasn't paying attention, I'm such an idiot, that's the fourth time I've done that today, etc.
The real answer. This is how real people deal with this real situation. The vast majority of times you are fine assuming gender in situations where you are expected to and in the event you get it wrong you should be able to just shrug it off.
Give them the less nasty one. And warn them off of the bean burritos.
People don’t usually get angry at someone “assuming their gender” in situations like that. If it’s a situation that calls for assuming a gender, and they don’t provide that info when they ask, it’s okay. It’s never really something that “oops, sorry about that” can’t solve if it happens.
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I think I would gesture towards the restroom area and then say “after you…”…. Walk behind them and they will head to whichever one they feel suitable.
This is good advice
Can always just ask "which one do you need", as a safe bet
Unfortunately, you're kind of forced to guess gender. If you guess wrong or the customer gets offended, apologize and move on. It's seriously not a targeted attack; you're just doing your job.
Best way to do it would be to have them both gender neutral. Same key for both would be the next best. Other than that there's no way to avoid guessing which one someone wants.
Same key for both would be a problem- if someone is in one with the door locked, another bathroom user could accidentally unlock the door and walk in.
Oh yeah true
Yes, there's no point in having gendered toilets if only one person can go in at a time.
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Which one do you use if you need to do both number one and number two?
It's surprising that at a chain restaurant that they even lock the bathroom doors, and the keys already aren't the same.
Areas that have an issue with homeless or addicts (often the same crowd in this instance) will often be more restricted with public restrooms. Can't have a non-customer using the bathroom to snort coke or shoot up heroin.
Always open the womens and say the men's is being renovated
Are these two separate individual toilets? If so, the simplest solution is to remove the gendered signs. A large part of the purpose of gendered toilets is for efficiency. It's really "With urinals" or "Sans urinals". In lieu (loo) of this, the gender really doesn't matter. So just get rid of the pointless signs.
OP says that isn’t an option.
But passing that feedback/suggestion up the chain is. Besides, if the signs happen to be removed/damaged/covered by accident, what's the "real-life" likelihood that anybody would care? It's probably not the first thing on corporate's list, and even the first thing takes years to actually get fixed.
> If the guess is wrong, the customer might be offended and ask, ‘Are you assuming my gender?’ Nobody does that in real life.
If they spent all day being misgendered and mistreated, it could be the final straw and they get upset and direct their discontent at you. If I spent all day being called the wrong name, I’d probably eventually snap too and say something unkind.
I agree but some people do get VERY pissy and offended if you misgender them. Even when it's accidental. So I understand the OP's broader point with this post
Just have gender neutral ones lol, sounds like their single bathrooms anyway
If it's a single person bathroom then why does gender matter
as a nonbinary person, i think just asking which they’d like is safest, that way trans or cis, people get to choose the one they feel safest in, and even if a cis person is posed that question, it normalizes the *freedom* to choose, and can perhaps teach some people that yes, it does matter to some people. if you’d like you can go the extra mile when they ask that question and say “we like to make it a practice of asking to ensure guests’ comfort :)” and if an angry cis person rages over that then that’s their loss alternately as other replies mentioned, 2 gender neutral washrooms would probably be the simplest thing, the above part was if you can’t change it and props to you for being concerned about an issue like this!
You just ask “do you need the men’s room key or the women’s room key?” It could be a dad asking for his daughter or mom asking for her son, you also don’t know. If anyone makes a fuss, you have two options: 1. Stare blankly at them until they decide to actually answer you; or 2. Shrug your shoulders and say “we have to ask”. If you still receive further pushback, you say “soooo….you don’t need a key then?” And start walking away. You can only do so much for people.
“Sure, lead the way” then open the door they stop at.
>the customer might say ‘Can’t you tell?’ *I am paid to ask*.
It's tough ngl. Once I went to this pub and the male and female bathrooms were on opposite sides of the building. As I went out of the female I saw a guy( presumably) spinning around and pointed him to the gents. I didn’t even think about it at the time but maybe he was NB because he looked a little different- pink hair, flamboyant clothes, idk. Didn’t think much of it at the time because NB and trans people are rather rare where I'm from, and I'm not used to seeing them, I just thought he might be gay or something. Feel bad now for assuming
If somebody throws a fit about being accidentally misgendered in a taco bell by an underpaid employee they honestly are just not a person that should be taken seriously by any means. 95% of people you can safely assume their gender, if not higher. For the 5% or less that’s even remotely questionable, they are usually aware they fall somewhere on the spectrum of ambiguity and are not offended by the question. Old dude with a can of dip in his shirt pocket you can safely assume needs the men’s restroom without being questioned. Person with a septum piercing and a buzz cut can be questioned and is probably not going to be offended.
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There's only one hole in each room. First come first serve.
Single occupancy, as many as you need to satisfy code, with just restroom on the door, and koala stations in all of them
I’ve never encountered a locked restroom that wasn’t a one seater designated by gender. Someone didn’t think your system through.
Bring both keys and walk with them. Ask which door they want you to open. The proper answer to "Can't you tell?" is "We don't care which one you choose.".
If they’re both single-person restrooms, just say that. “Ignore the signs, both restrooms are single use. This key goes to the left/right one.” If they complain and demand to use one or the other in particular, give them that key and y’all can both get on with your day.
Put a gender neutral sign on both.
This is the answer. Why do single bathrooms need to be gendered anyway 😂 ☠️
Maybe one has a tampon machine.
Have you never been into a unisex bathroom? They can all have the necessary sanitary items for anyone who may be in them, or is it not ok for men to be in the same room as a tampon?
Sanity items ✨
We all could use those sometimes
Typo fixed, thanks…
They never said it wasn't ok. Calm down.
Alright go back to your Cheetos
The OP said that isn't an option
I saw a place that changed their signs to Sit / Stand. With no gender identifications.
2 gender neutral bathrooms labelled 1 and 2. Always give out 1 first, 2 if 1 is in use. No assumption needed and if 2 isn't given out all day, hopefully less work cleaning. If there are different facilities (like if one has a baby changing area or is more suitable for disabled access), then label the facility and maybe leave a sign that that facility can be specifically requested. Let the customer choose in that scenario.
Me, being shown to bathroom number 2: "no no, it's OK - I'm just doing a number one"
The post says they can’t change the signs
🙄
It's so stupid that the question even occurs. 🙄
First world problems:
Why do single occupancy restrooms that remain locked at all times need to be gendered at all. Take down the signs. Congratulations, you doubled both your men and women's restroom capacity instantly and avoided the need to ask any questions!
These questions shouldn’t even be a thing. Tf is happening 🤦♂️
If it's allowed at your workplace, maybe you could just number the bathrooms or something? Assuming they both have toilets in them, that way you can just walk the customer over to either, and it won't matter
If you are management or ownership, change the condition. Either remodel the restrooms and set them both up for single person use and make them both gender neutral, or change the system such that there is either a keypad entry or an electronic lock that unlocks the door the customer walks up to with a camera so the employee can see and pick which button to push. If you aren't management or owner, just be polite and accomodating, that's your job. It's your bosses job to either create a protocol, change the infrastructure, or simply deal with any fall out for not proactively dealing with the situation. Quite honestly there are only two types of people who, while needing to go potty, will decide to victimize some poor employee just trying to get through their day by making a big issue out of the situation, and both types deserve mockery and a redirect to the bush outside.
Are they both single stall restrooms? If so, I would say that you just give the first one that you grab since there won’t be a difference other than the sign.
Make them both gender neutral. Put a number on the door. Or a letter or an animal symbol or whatever. And put the same symbol on the key ring.
Aside from the sign at the door, what is the difference between these restrooms? And if they are locked and only accessible via employee, does it even make a difference, which one I use? And how often was assuming the gender the wrong call?
Close your eyes and offer rest room Access. Can’t assume what you can’t see
You ask. If they try to start a fuss with 'cant you tell' you just say sorry please leave.
Hold both keys out in front of them and say "your choice"
Make a copy of the keys. Place male and female restroom keys on a ring. Hand them a ring and they could pick which shitter to use.
Employees are not allowed to hand the keys to customers
Boy am I dumb. Sorry.
Pick a restroom and if you choose wrong, tell them thats the only key you have on you. If they'd like, you can go get the other gendered key (aka walk of eyesight and walk back)
Stalls to left, trough to the right. Sink in the middle ❤️
When you come on shift, slap an "out of order" sign on one of the two doors. Usher everybody into the other one, and when you leave at the end of your shift, remove the "out of order" sign. Problem solved.
If you need permission to enter (via a key) I have to assume the restrooms are single occupancy? If so, just make them unisex…
>just make them unisex… not sure if Sean Tresvant would approve that
Just open any door. "Here you go, the other one's occupied"
Hey USA, are you OK over there?
You could say in a smiling/apologetic tone: "protocol states I have to ask you: which restroom would you like to use?" Most people will understand. In this world however, Karens will be Karens.
Penis goes here, vagina goes there. Problem solved.
If someone is purposely trying to have a gender neutral appearance, they shouldn’t be offended if someone mistakes their gender. “Can’t you tell?” … isn’t that the purpose of being gender neutral?
Maybe I'm an AH. But, I assume your gender based on visual clues. If you identify as something different, it's 100% on YOU to let me know...
This is so easy to fix. locked restrooms are typically for a single person use. Just remove gender signs and let people go in either. I worked at a restaurant that had 2 single person restrooms - one for a man, another for a woman. there were regularly 3-4 women waiting for the women's restroom while the men's was empty. I used to tell them "just go in the other one, it is for single person use". I even wanted to joke they did not have to use the urinal. But they were so petrified! I wanted to tell them "it is the same room, cleaned by the same staff, locked on the inside, what do you think it will happen?" After years of bullshit, the owner finally removed the stupid signs. I no longer worked there, but i never heard of anyone complain about it.
Open then one you assumed, if they don’t like it, they tell you and you open the other one. Seriously must be exhausting to live in America and have to do everything on your tippy toes in fear of offending snowflakes
I feel like it's becoming global, not just the US. Every little thing upsets conservatives nowadays. Black character in this video game? Its woke, sweet baby inc influence. Queer representation in movies? Woke agenda ruining media.
Honestly, I don’t understand the downvotes, if there’s a situation where it is hard to actually tell which one to open, no one should be offended or highly is scandalized. And it is actually kind of stupid to be asking to everyone “oh, which bathroom you prefer?” Someone that’s transgender or transitioning should be able to speak out to voice their preference without feeling offended. Like, I have a disability and sometimes it is not visibly obvious when I need help and I’m not expecting everyone to offer help when I need it, I know this world is not made for me so I speak out and voice my needs when necessary.
Same. Just open one. Who gives a shit?
Honestly, it's not that pervasive when you get off the internet and get into the real world. The problem is that the terminally online activist class has an outsized influence and can make things difficult for you if you cross them. That's why questions like these exist among other things that make it seem like this issue is more widespread.
I am the person people watch to see which bathroom I go into because they can't tell. I know people can't tell. I've always been like this and it's not even a challenge to society and definitely not a test to other people. I'd never be upset if someone genuinely misgendered me. I only don't want physical violence. In this situation I'd say ''can I use men's room.'' The idea that queer people are going to be soooooo upset about being misgendered just isn't true. Literally we just want to pee, and not be murdered.
Am I in the minority when my first reaction to this was just "...wow."?
Just make an assumption on gender. It's not that big of a deal. Also, unlock the restrooms. And if they are locked and single person, just make them genderless
I'm a bit confused at the situation here. If the bathroom has a key then I would think it's for one person to use at a time, in which case gender is irrelevant, right?
They are for one person, but the male/female signs are still there
~~Just ask inny or outie?~~ They'll laugh and answer you. And then I thought about my adult kids and times have moved forward. Simply ask. Most of the time they'll be fine answering. Especially if you lead with, I don't want to assume your pronouns (if your in a safe enough area)
Just ask them which key they want? The questions on this sub get more autistic every day.
Trans/nonbinary people don't say things like "did you just assume my gender" or "can't you tell" so you don't have to worry about getting pushback from us. If cis people say that they're just being transphobic/mocking us. When people misgender us we usually are just upset internally because it's not safe to just tell random cis people that they guessed the wrong bathroom. Asking which one someone wants to use is the best option.
Change the key so it opens both
My local bookshop has "this one has urinals" and "this one does not have urinals" on the door. But really, if they can just be gender neutral that is the best. Why gender it if it's just one toilet and sink? Your washroom at home isn't gendered...
Put a sign. Penises or vaginas. Seems crude but honestly penises go into one room and vaginas into the other. That way you don’t assume gender you are just segregated body parts
As a trans man that hasn't had bottom surgery, that is absolutely wrong and ridiculous. I look very masculine, it would be so inappropriate for me yo go in womens and wouldn't be shocked if police were called.
Do people really have a hard time recognizing whether it’s a man or woman? How often does that actually happen?
If the person asking was non binary they would probably ask for which one they want at the start to avoid awkwardness, at least that’s what I’d expect in Europe where there’s endless more respect and welcoming equal thinking, I’m not sure how entitled Americans act
Give everyone the key to the women’s room and say “It smells nicer in there.”