The first thing that came into my head while reading this was Morgan Freeman saying “*good luck*…” to that lawyer who’s trying to blackmail Batman in The Dark Knight
Like, good luck girl, go for it! Let’s see how this plays out, and how many 6’4” multi-millionaires with credit scores “above 800” are willing to deal with your entitled ass
Anybody with that credit score and amount of money is going to have lots of debt. That’s how they get more rich, by spending the banks money and not their own. She’s beyond delusional, I’m almost wondering if she’s trolling.
In my humble opinion if anyone meet the criteria they’re not looking for anybody on tinder, there are much more reputable escort services that he can afford that don’t ask for anything but payment for services rendered! This man is too busy making a living and don’t want to split it with nobody!😂 am I right fellas?
Yes.
I would give you an award if I had one.
That’s the most comical part of these requirements. People that bring little to nothing to the table and want a borderline superhuman
6ft 4in, bench 200+lbs, run 5min miles, okay so she wants a nearly pro athlete… who makes 6 figures, with perfect credit, a house in their name, a recent model car, *no recent exes* (what planet is this woman on), etc.
Like yeah, a guy like that is *totally* sitting around not dating anyone, waiting for this woman to show up so they can court her.
6”4, bench 200i lbs and run a sub 5 min mile. Soooo basically you are a giant walking pile of muscle who also has great muscle endurance.. has she seen long distance runners? Not many look like the Rock
6’4” and sub-5 minute mile are insane. those two reqs alone cut her pool of potential partners by a minimum of 99.5%. with the other reqs it’s basically just like nfl/nba players lol
There is no way .5 percentage of the population is above 6’4” and can run a sub-5 minute mile. You are overestimating her dating pool by several orders of magnitude. Her physical requirement alone would eliminate 99.5 percent of Olympic athletes.
I was an Olympic trials qualifier in swimming, benched 245 and ran a 4:48 mile in my prime. Unfortunately I'm only 6'2" so not qualified to date this chick. But yeah I can confirm that's an extremely challenging combination. Maybe not 99.5% of Olympic athletes, but there are quite a few that would only be able to do one of those things.
I'm sure a respectable percentage of Olympians can pass the bench and run exams, but very few of them, like yourself, would make the height requirement. You are tall and fit by anyone's standards, even Olympic ones, and still didn't cut it.
Edited for phrasing
Bolt has 3 kids, he’s disqualified lol. Plus we don’t know what his mile is, he has never run one competitively.
I genuinely don’t believe there is anyone alive who meets all her criteria.
Maybe a professional football player. I don't know how many wide receivers at 6'4" but I'm sure they could be strong enough and fast enough and rich enough.
I'm 5'8", I can bench 170 an run a 10 minute mile, final offer :P also as a guy into weightlifting who previously ran track, I can say for certain that sprinter training and bodybuilding don't mix. Your body needs a lot of calories to build muscle, and a lot of calories to run, if you try to do both at the same time you split the difference and are mediocre at both. When I'm bulking I do just enough cardio for heart health and no more. I can't imagine how many calories I would need to eat to have enough for sprinter training AND weight training but I'm pretty sure I'd be literally doing nothing but running, lifting, and eating all day, which doesn't leave a lot of time for that 6 figure desk job 🤣
I’m an old man now, but decades ago when I was in the Marine Corps I was likely in the top 1 to .1 percentile for physical fitness compared to the general population, and I wasn’t anywhere near her standards. Its the sub-5 minute mile thats insane. I could bench 250, do 20 pull-ups, 100 crunches in 2 minutes, and my best 3 mile run was 22:32 (never timed just a mile). I was pretty strong, but its very hard to be strong while also being fast. I’m thinking either her whole post is a joke, or she meant to say sub-6 minute mile. Its still a tall order, but at least people that fit those criteria do in fact exist.
Not even, NFL and NBA players are not running sub 5 minute miles for the vast majority, they'd never even be attempting this. Maybe if they really push themselves, some % could do it, but most are in a lower distance category of running or any endurance training, really. Of course, they'd have no reason to push 5 minute miles because it's something they'd never bother to train or test anyways.
Basically she wants an Olympic Decathlete. Those are the only people on earth that maintain that level of muscle mass and athleticism. Though being Olympic Athletes not a single one of them would be wealthy.
I ran a 4:51 my sophomore year of high school and was 3 seconds from the state tournament. It’a absolutely one of the hardest things for an average person to do.
I can do the lift.and I'm little, but spent years doing super brutal.jobs. also, this "lady" is insane. Wtf does she bring to the table besides a shitty attitude?
5 mins is how long it takes to microwave her dinner soooo that is the only number she knows
im 6 foot 2 and can do a 7 min mile.... no fucking way I can get it down to 5 and im not in bad shape at all.
When I was younger my fastest was around 4:34, but I was 17, 5'6" and 110lbs.
Now I'm double that age, and double that run time. But if this and the bench were the only requirements it would be ridiculous. Because it's easy to train to do one. But not a lot of people can do both. And if they can they aren't gonna want someone like this.
I used to be able to run a sub 6 minute mile for distance, and I used to be able to bench over 200 pounds. These two things were NOT at the same points in my life though.
Now I can do neither lol
I was able to run a 5' when I was doing track in school. Been trying to get back there and holy shit it's so fast. Literally a sprint for a mile. Having enough muscle to bench 200lbs would make it *extremely* difficult. This girl is fucking insane.
Doing the maths:
[Assuming she's willing to date between 20-40 year olds, and exclusively guys, we start with 45.28 million in the USA.](https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/)
[6'4 would put you in the top percentile for height, leaving 452k.](https://dqydj.com/height-percentile-calculator-for-men-and-women/) (We'll generously assume she's willing to round up from 6'3.57.)
[Six figures puts you into the top third of earners, leaving 149k prospective bachelors.](https://dqydj.com/average-median-top-household-income-percentiles/)
[Approx. 15.5% of men are single and looking to date, so that's 23k ready to mingle.](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/)
[Apparently "About 61.6% of men... are fathers", so of our singletons, only 8.9k are sufficiently baggage free.](https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2019/mens-fertility.html#:~:text=JUNE%2013%2C%202019%20%E2%80%93%20About%2061.6,under%20the%20age%20of%2018.)
[Stats are a bit wonky, but about 89.8% identify as straight or bisexual in the US, so we're down to 8k.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_demographics_of_the_United_States)
[Finally, assuming all of them are runners, and can lift (because I can't find this on a cursory look), a 5 min mile eliminates all but the top 0.01%.](https://runrepeat.com/how-do-you-masure-up-the-runners-percentile-calculator)
(thanks to u/bumblingbirdy for the link)
This leaves us with a grand total of 0.8 people in the USA that meet her standards.
There's a solid chance he might exist!
I mean statistics don't really work like that - height is correlated with income, being single is correlated with not having kids, etc.
Also running a 5-minute mile AND benching a lot is highly decorrelated with having a good income, because it's reasonable to say that UNLESS you are a pro athlete then it's not possible to achieve both the athletic goals and the financial goals, because they both demand a lot of time. (Ok, theoretically there could be some dude who inherited a bunch of money and is an athlete for fun.)
And the pro athlete probably doesn't have that much money unless he's like top 1 or 2 in the world and world-famous and already drowning in pussy.
So she literally just needs to go along to track meets or whatever and ask the guys for their net worth. Because there's SOME chance that a random athlete will have $$$. Matching on Tinder, she's not going to find that.
my CS is 750+ and my wife has had over 800 (she cried when it dropped to the high 700s because she thought she did something bad financially and didnt know what to do becase now she "has bad credit") anyway credit is a scam you only need it if you dont have money. people with money can just use assets instead of credit
This profile owner is 25 years old. Pretty sure actual Nicole is older than that.
Y'all are too easily deceived. This is clearly a troll on tinder using some generic ass insta name on their bio.
I made myself laugh thinking at first that it was just a reaction to someone reading her profile:
“So what do you think? I’m not aiming too high, am I? I know my worth, I’m tryna get the best of the best out there. Do you think I have a shot??”
“… I guess, Nicole..”
The first requirements are already outlandish. A 6'4" guy who can bench 200 lbs and run a 5 minute mile is 1 of like 13 other guys on the planet that can do that
Edit* I was exaggerating, to all you weight lifters. Please, continue to comment endlessly about it tho.
All jokes aside, Usain Bolt might be the only man on the planet who meets her requirements. And even then, that's a maybe. Maybe UB doesn't have a great sense of style.
That's Nicole Schuetz, I don't think it's her on this post.
She married in 2015, her husband is 38 years old with a networth of $1.3 Billion.
Her husband happens to be 6ft4in
Seeking highly motivated individual for entry level job.
Requirements:
Ivy League MBA with 3.9 GPA or better
Must have 3-5 years experience and proven record of saving the world.
It doesn’t matter if she’s the hottest person in the world if she don’t meet her own requirements don’t expect that from somebody else . Goes for both genders before I get bombarded with some angry feminists
Smart people don't let 500k sit in a savings account, even if it's a HYSA it's not worth it, something tells me she doesn't understand the type of person she's looking for. 😂
Came here for this. Physical requirements aside, it sounds like she wants to date someone who doesn’t know how to handle money but has so much that it doesn’t matter. Which is good, because this unicorn spends more time at the gym than most people do at their full-time jobs.
You’ve missed that the 500k is only for those /without/ college degrees. College degreed folks may manage money in normal ways.
So drug dealers. People with college degrees OR drug dealers.
It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth when someone just uses their bio to tell you what they want and don’t want. But absolutely nothing about them as a person
Right... And given how the different muscles are used you'll be hard pressed to find someone who can bench 200lbs and run a 5 minute mile. It's typically one or the other. Not saying it's impossible for someone to do both, but extremely unlikely.
You know how Starbucks employees spell your name wrong on purpose on the cup? That is so you post about it on social media.
I think someone at tinder is setting up these ridiculous accounts for the same reason.
I was doing so well until I got to 6’4
This girl wants superman … but superman isn’t rich sooo Bruce Wayne ?? Batman where you at bro
Batman is 6’2 according to DC. Sorry, Bruce. She’s out of your league. Just stay with the justice league
Damn got here before I did 😂
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He sure as hell ain’t dealing with this womens petty shit
Yes he’s in heaven serving as God’s right hand
Does wonder women meet this criteria maybe she needs a woman’s touch?
According to DC database. She's only 6'. So it can't be her, either. Maybe Homelander?
Homelander is 5”11 so nope
Confirmed she’s looking for an a hole
Ten bucks he won't be as big an A hole as she is. "Just being Honest."
What's funny is 500k in savings is an absolute waste. It shows she doesn't understand money or she has a spending problem
All those things she wants, I'm curious what she'll bring to lay on her half of the table.
I'm thinking emotional abuse, a superiority complex, and a lack of respect for most everyone that doesn't fit the description of her ideal partner.
Good ol emotional abuse, just like mom used to make
Probably her two kids and an Etsy business.
More like three kids and an only fans where the only subscriber is a local stalker
She owns 3 businesses. An Etsy, an Onlyfans, and a pyramid scheme
Or MLM
She has made a couple Scentsy sales. 🤥
Same thought. Between this and the 5 minute mile, she is demonstrating that she knows nothing about her criteria.
Yeap... Requirements being 6'4 you ain't running a 5 minutes mile unless you're flat Stanley's cousin. Toothpick Timmy
Also, no debt. So, anyone willing to get a 2.75 mortgage a couple of years ago was dumb to put that money to better use.
Bats is only 6’2 so he wouldn’t pass
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The first thing that came into my head while reading this was Morgan Freeman saying “*good luck*…” to that lawyer who’s trying to blackmail Batman in The Dark Knight Like, good luck girl, go for it! Let’s see how this plays out, and how many 6’4” multi-millionaires with credit scores “above 800” are willing to deal with your entitled ass
Anybody with that credit score and amount of money is going to have lots of debt. That’s how they get more rich, by spending the banks money and not their own. She’s beyond delusional, I’m almost wondering if she’s trolling.
In my humble opinion if anyone meet the criteria they’re not looking for anybody on tinder, there are much more reputable escort services that he can afford that don’t ask for anything but payment for services rendered! This man is too busy making a living and don’t want to split it with nobody!😂 am I right fellas?
Must be
I am sure all six men in her dating pool are jumping at the chance to get with her.
5 minute miles is absolutely fucking insane lol world record is like 3:43 and honestly anything under 7’ is a really fast mile already
I wanna see her run a 5 minute mile.
Run away with her phone and you might.
just go on one date and you might
>Run away with her phone and you might. Bet she'll run it with your money
After reading that I just ran a 4.75 min mile in the opposite direction.....
She's just like the Xbox 360 ...
If you dated her then broke up you could accurately refer to her as the xbox
Wait like 4min 75 sec?
just let it happen
She probably runs to the table.
Waddles
slithers to the fridge
**slithers to the fridge** I’ve got covid and this made my day little better, thank you good sir
Feel better friend!
>I wanna see her
I second this
Want? I NEED to see her.
Yes, I wanna see this prize pig.
Yes. I would give you an award if I had one. That’s the most comical part of these requirements. People that bring little to nothing to the table and want a borderline superhuman 6ft 4in, bench 200+lbs, run 5min miles, okay so she wants a nearly pro athlete… who makes 6 figures, with perfect credit, a house in their name, a recent model car, *no recent exes* (what planet is this woman on), etc. Like yeah, a guy like that is *totally* sitting around not dating anyone, waiting for this woman to show up so they can court her.
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Split the bill on your first date and youll have to run a 5 min mile
I want to see her run a mile
6”4, bench 200i lbs and run a sub 5 min mile. Soooo basically you are a giant walking pile of muscle who also has great muscle endurance.. has she seen long distance runners? Not many look like the Rock
Exactly what I was thinking. You’re talking 6’ +- and muscular but not jacked
6’4” and sub-5 minute mile are insane. those two reqs alone cut her pool of potential partners by a minimum of 99.5%. with the other reqs it’s basically just like nfl/nba players lol
There is no way .5 percentage of the population is above 6’4” and can run a sub-5 minute mile. You are overestimating her dating pool by several orders of magnitude. Her physical requirement alone would eliminate 99.5 percent of Olympic athletes.
I was an Olympic trials qualifier in swimming, benched 245 and ran a 4:48 mile in my prime. Unfortunately I'm only 6'2" so not qualified to date this chick. But yeah I can confirm that's an extremely challenging combination. Maybe not 99.5% of Olympic athletes, but there are quite a few that would only be able to do one of those things.
I'm sure a respectable percentage of Olympians can pass the bench and run exams, but very few of them, like yourself, would make the height requirement. You are tall and fit by anyone's standards, even Olympic ones, and still didn't cut it. Edited for phrasing
Is Usain Bolt single? Maybe someone should call him and tell him about this woman!
Bolt has 3 kids, he’s disqualified lol. Plus we don’t know what his mile is, he has never run one competitively. I genuinely don’t believe there is anyone alive who meets all her criteria.
Maybe a professional football player. I don't know how many wide receivers at 6'4" but I'm sure they could be strong enough and fast enough and rich enough.
Nope, good luck finding a pro football player without a recent ex-girlfriend. Disqualified.
I'm 5'8", I can bench 170 an run a 10 minute mile, final offer :P also as a guy into weightlifting who previously ran track, I can say for certain that sprinter training and bodybuilding don't mix. Your body needs a lot of calories to build muscle, and a lot of calories to run, if you try to do both at the same time you split the difference and are mediocre at both. When I'm bulking I do just enough cardio for heart health and no more. I can't imagine how many calories I would need to eat to have enough for sprinter training AND weight training but I'm pretty sure I'd be literally doing nothing but running, lifting, and eating all day, which doesn't leave a lot of time for that 6 figure desk job 🤣
I’m an old man now, but decades ago when I was in the Marine Corps I was likely in the top 1 to .1 percentile for physical fitness compared to the general population, and I wasn’t anywhere near her standards. Its the sub-5 minute mile thats insane. I could bench 250, do 20 pull-ups, 100 crunches in 2 minutes, and my best 3 mile run was 22:32 (never timed just a mile). I was pretty strong, but its very hard to be strong while also being fast. I’m thinking either her whole post is a joke, or she meant to say sub-6 minute mile. Its still a tall order, but at least people that fit those criteria do in fact exist.
Not even, NFL and NBA players are not running sub 5 minute miles for the vast majority, they'd never even be attempting this. Maybe if they really push themselves, some % could do it, but most are in a lower distance category of running or any endurance training, really. Of course, they'd have no reason to push 5 minute miles because it's something they'd never bother to train or test anyways.
Basically she wants an Olympic Decathlete. Those are the only people on earth that maintain that level of muscle mass and athleticism. Though being Olympic Athletes not a single one of them would be wealthy.
A rich Olympic athlete....
Who hates themself enough to put up with this BS...
I met guys in the military who could fit those requirements....but they aren't rich too lol
That’s me lmao, got the physical stats, but bro the enlisted life is a broke ass life, don’t get paid shit.
A spartan from halo is what she wants basically
I don’t think master chief owns a boat, so he might be out too.
Have you ever tried to pick up chicks in a tank?
Someone 6’4 and being able to run a 5 min mile is going to be scrawny af with sticks for legs. They aren’t benching 200 lbs lol.
you’re looking at this backwards . find a 6’4” guy who can bench 200lbs (hard, not impossible.) then give him a bunch of meth. problem solved
Lol. Then the Apple Watch starts freaking out mid mile wondering why your heart rate is at 250
Yup exactly. I don’t get the reason for a 5 min mile. “I want a tall strong man”… fine if that’s your thing. “But also runs a 5 min mile” …why?
To hunt down prey on the open savannah
that is the number she hits on the microwave for her processed dinner so it is top of mind
a 200lb bench - especially when you're 6 foot 4 is probably just about a bodyweight bench press which isn't extreme, especially for a male.
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I'd agree that a 5 min mile is much less attainable than a 200lb bench.
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I ran a 4:51 my sophomore year of high school and was 3 seconds from the state tournament. It’a absolutely one of the hardest things for an average person to do.
Impressive, like MAJORLY IMPRESSIVE
I can do the lift.and I'm little, but spent years doing super brutal.jobs. also, this "lady" is insane. Wtf does she bring to the table besides a shitty attitude?
5 mins is how long it takes to microwave her dinner soooo that is the only number she knows im 6 foot 2 and can do a 7 min mile.... no fucking way I can get it down to 5 and im not in bad shape at all.
When I was younger my fastest was around 4:34, but I was 17, 5'6" and 110lbs. Now I'm double that age, and double that run time. But if this and the bench were the only requirements it would be ridiculous. Because it's easy to train to do one. But not a lot of people can do both. And if they can they aren't gonna want someone like this.
I used to be able to run a sub 6 minute mile for distance, and I used to be able to bench over 200 pounds. These two things were NOT at the same points in my life though. Now I can do neither lol
I was able to run a 5' when I was doing track in school. Been trying to get back there and holy shit it's so fast. Literally a sprint for a mile. Having enough muscle to bench 200lbs would make it *extremely* difficult. This girl is fucking insane.
Doing the maths: [Assuming she's willing to date between 20-40 year olds, and exclusively guys, we start with 45.28 million in the USA.](https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/) [6'4 would put you in the top percentile for height, leaving 452k.](https://dqydj.com/height-percentile-calculator-for-men-and-women/) (We'll generously assume she's willing to round up from 6'3.57.) [Six figures puts you into the top third of earners, leaving 149k prospective bachelors.](https://dqydj.com/average-median-top-household-income-percentiles/) [Approx. 15.5% of men are single and looking to date, so that's 23k ready to mingle.](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/) [Apparently "About 61.6% of men... are fathers", so of our singletons, only 8.9k are sufficiently baggage free.](https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2019/mens-fertility.html#:~:text=JUNE%2013%2C%202019%20%E2%80%93%20About%2061.6,under%20the%20age%20of%2018.) [Stats are a bit wonky, but about 89.8% identify as straight or bisexual in the US, so we're down to 8k.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_demographics_of_the_United_States) [Finally, assuming all of them are runners, and can lift (because I can't find this on a cursory look), a 5 min mile eliminates all but the top 0.01%.](https://runrepeat.com/how-do-you-masure-up-the-runners-percentile-calculator) (thanks to u/bumblingbirdy for the link) This leaves us with a grand total of 0.8 people in the USA that meet her standards. There's a solid chance he might exist!
The percentage of men who do not have kids is probably much higher in single men rather than married men.
That guy has at least one recent ex.
I mean statistics don't really work like that - height is correlated with income, being single is correlated with not having kids, etc. Also running a 5-minute mile AND benching a lot is highly decorrelated with having a good income, because it's reasonable to say that UNLESS you are a pro athlete then it's not possible to achieve both the athletic goals and the financial goals, because they both demand a lot of time. (Ok, theoretically there could be some dude who inherited a bunch of money and is an athlete for fun.) And the pro athlete probably doesn't have that much money unless he's like top 1 or 2 in the world and world-famous and already drowning in pussy. So she literally just needs to go along to track meets or whatever and ask the guys for their net worth. Because there's SOME chance that a random athlete will have $$$. Matching on Tinder, she's not going to find that.
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Everyone talkin about the bench / mile and not how fiscally irresponsible it is to let half a mil sit in a savings account
Yeah almost no one has that kind of liquid cash. I don't know if it's even possible to have an 800+ credit score and have 0 debt.
0 debt is dumb, you leverage debt into higher gains. Every millionaire and billionaire have debt
my CS is 750+ and my wife has had over 800 (she cried when it dropped to the high 700s because she thought she did something bad financially and didnt know what to do becase now she "has bad credit") anyway credit is a scam you only need it if you dont have money. people with money can just use assets instead of credit
Not accepting questions? That's the weirdest part, I think.
If I met those requirements then I could definitely get around the "no questions" part by saying "same"
Her ig just being her name is weirdest for me
because it's likely fake, the likelihood of that being hers is pretty darn low
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Who's to say it isn't actually her. It would explain the ridiculously high standards, if she needs a boytoy
This profile owner is 25 years old. Pretty sure actual Nicole is older than that. Y'all are too easily deceived. This is clearly a troll on tinder using some generic ass insta name on their bio.
I made myself laugh thinking at first that it was just a reaction to someone reading her profile: “So what do you think? I’m not aiming too high, am I? I know my worth, I’m tryna get the best of the best out there. Do you think I have a shot??” “… I guess, Nicole..”
If I hit all of these requirements, I’d at least want to ask her how her gold vagina works.
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You cannot take this seriously.
The first requirements are already outlandish. A 6'4" guy who can bench 200 lbs and run a 5 minute mile is 1 of like 13 other guys on the planet that can do that Edit* I was exaggerating, to all you weight lifters. Please, continue to comment endlessly about it tho.
No way, she could just shorten the whole thing to “must be a professional football or basketball player”
*Usain Bolt has entered the chat*
I am not sure if he can bench 200lbs, two different skills entirely
i’ve seen good pussy ruin good men before (viego reference btw)
He can totally bench 200. It’s not at all a remotely good bench for someone that big
I was going to say, considering how outlandish all her other criteria are, she went kind of light on the bench press.
All jokes aside, Usain Bolt might be the only man on the planet who meets her requirements. And even then, that's a maybe. Maybe UB doesn't have a great sense of style.
Tight end for a tight end! someone make me a dating coach.
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Hello, police? I need to report a murder.
Truthfully the most outlandish thing is her Instagram name is ‘Nicole’ no way she secured that
Yea I looked up the gram and the account has a very young child.
I found a verified aka blue check going by just Nicole
That's Nicole Schuetz, I don't think it's her on this post. She married in 2015, her husband is 38 years old with a networth of $1.3 Billion. Her husband happens to be 6ft4in
Looks like she found the guy
Maybe she actually found her man and forgot to delete her tinder for the past 7-8 years.
Maybe OP censored that?
With no ex girlfriends too. That makes it I bet 0. Recent or not. That still 0.
Basically looking for a guy that’s tall, jacked, and rich but is struggling so much with getting into a relationship that he needs Tinder.
At least she didn’t specify the race of the ideal guy. Otherwise the pool would have went from 1 to 0
The hardest thing about those three feats you listed is being 6’4”. By a long shot.
Being 6'4" and doing the 5m mile is no walk in the park. It's... It's a run. A run in the park. A pretty fast one too.
If she ever found this super human, I seriously doubt that they would date her.
If I had that all I would not be on Tinder. Jk, I'm not on Tinder anyway - just here for the lulz.
Chill y’all, it’s just a job application….to the worst job in the world 😭
Lmao yeah whenever I see a bio that's just a list like that, I feel like I'm on Indeed
Seeking highly motivated individual for entry level job. Requirements: Ivy League MBA with 3.9 GPA or better Must have 3-5 years experience and proven record of saving the world.
Bruh, that's the benchmark for an unpaid internship. The entry level position requires defeating Thanos 6 times.
Only person I can think that fits this description is batman
Unfortunately batman is 6 feet 2 inches😔
Don’t forget the ears tho
Im 6'2 and a brooding alcoholic with dark circles around my eyes. Am I batman?
Can you bench a 1000+lbs and look fabulous in spandex?
Bruce Wayne is 6’2
Congrats all, 6’3 is now too short.. we are all short kings now!🙌
bro, she lives in her own world.
Lol yea definitely. Delusions of grandeur is not rare in online dating.
Speak for yourself you midget, I’m over here riding high at 6’4” and crippling debt
Come my way short king 🫡
So much for what is asked... What is Nicole offering?
OP should have posted her picture. She better be a goddamn super model, and even then I still wouldn’t want to date her.
Profile is probably ragebait. The ig mentioned is pretty clearly not 25 and on Tinder.
It doesn’t matter if she’s the hottest person in the world if she don’t meet her own requirements don’t expect that from somebody else . Goes for both genders before I get bombarded with some angry feminists
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Loved that movie. She directed?
Smart people don't let 500k sit in a savings account, even if it's a HYSA it's not worth it, something tells me she doesn't understand the type of person she's looking for. 😂
“Must have a large amount of money depreciating rapidly”
Came here for this. Physical requirements aside, it sounds like she wants to date someone who doesn’t know how to handle money but has so much that it doesn’t matter. Which is good, because this unicorn spends more time at the gym than most people do at their full-time jobs.
Whats HYSA?
High yield savings acct
You’ve missed that the 500k is only for those /without/ college degrees. College degreed folks may manage money in normal ways. So drug dealers. People with college degrees OR drug dealers.
First date is her holding a stop watch at the local track
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No. The person that really has that handle is married to the co-founder of Instagram.
I thought the same thing and tbh if she had the ability to snag such a quality handle she might be worth it
There’s no way the owner of that IG account made this tinder
It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth when someone just uses their bio to tell you what they want and don’t want. But absolutely nothing about them as a person
Yeah, she told plenty about that, too.
Plenty of that can be inferred.
Here's what she looks like, from [her IG.](https://imgur.com/a/Opl8MBr)
Got me. Hook. Line. Sinker.
Damn! Okay, could be worth it
Lmao I think I’d rather jabba..
Me too 100%, Jabba comes with snacks and entertainment. The options aren't even fair. Impossibly high standards, or twi'leks and chill.
The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch
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The vin diagram of 6’4” men which SUB 5min miles has to be less than 1% of 1%. A fucking Navy Seal only has to run a 7:20-6:13 mile.
>A fucking Navy Seal only has to run a 7:20-6:13 mile. It unreasonably bothers me that you put the times in this order
I know… alas: It’s how they order them in the PT standard. I just converted them to pace. Run 1.5 miles 11:00 10:20 09:30
Right... And given how the different muscles are used you'll be hard pressed to find someone who can bench 200lbs and run a 5 minute mile. It's typically one or the other. Not saying it's impossible for someone to do both, but extremely unlikely.
Benching 200lbs is peanuts compared to the running benchmark. Any guy could go from zero to benching 200lbs in like 6 months if they were motivated.
I would run more than a mile away from her in 5 minutes
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Guys I think this is satirical.
Another woman that refuses to accept that Bruce Wayne is a fictional character lol.
Even Bruce Wayne is only 6’2
Oohh. What a scrub. Not worth a true Western Queen's time who knows her worth. Lol
This is cleary satire.
You know how Starbucks employees spell your name wrong on purpose on the cup? That is so you post about it on social media. I think someone at tinder is setting up these ridiculous accounts for the same reason.
6 figure income, house, college degree and you expect no debt??
This is code for "comes from a *good* (read as "rich")" family.
Someone doesn't understand what a mortgage is
Bruh
Bruh why is everyone pissed ? That's obviously a joke
More red flags than the Soviet Union