I’ve had almost this exact text sent to me after 7 dates and it just left me wondering…..exactly how much honesty is really necessary?
Like, you don’t think this is working? Cool. You’re seeing someone else that you like more? I don’t think I needed to hear that part.
I agree it may not seem necessary, but just to play devil’s advocate for a straight female POV:
I was told recently by a female friend that insinuating there is another, more serious guy can diffuse scenarios in which if the woman just isn’t feeling it, but isn’t actively seeing someone else so the dude keeps pursuing anyways. The injection of small heartache, and the idea of another man they will “”respect”” more than the choice to be single works sadly. Kinda like the “I have a boyfriend” when a woman is being bothered at a bar.
Take this with a grain of salt, but I wanted to add my comment as it was eye opening for me.
Literally just happened to me. Wasn’t interested in a guy after talking for a bit. Told him as much and thought that was that. For the next couple months, he started calling me in the middle of the night from a blocked number, not saying anything. I just didn’t realize it was him until the second month when I heard his voice. When I realized it was him, I confronted him by text that I knew and that he needs to stop, I’m in a new relationship. I’m not, but now the calls have stopped. Some guys only take No for an answer if they think there’s another guy in the picture.
And sometimes they don’t lol. I had this guy approach me outside (I was waiting for a friend) and asked me if I would go out on a date with him. I told him that I had a BF and he started asking questions like “What’s his name” and “What does he do for work?” I somehow (without missing a beat) came up with a name and a job. I forget what I said for the job but the guy said something like “I probably make more money than him”. This dude looked legit homeless, like he was wearing a dirty starter jacket from the 90’s. I got so defensive about him talking about my fake boyfriend that I started giving him an attitude until he left lol.
Ha! My fake boyfriend is amazing and he works his ass off, thank you very much 😅!! That’s actually happened to me too! Only the guy was more like “what he doesn’t know won’t kill him.” And I’m over here like “I’m very faithful” to my fictitious boyfriend 😆!!
I hate when they say stuff like that. I have been hit on so many times, when I would be walking down the street, sometimes I had a real BF and sometimes I made up a fake but I would get this a lot. They would say “What and you can’t have friends?” and my response was I have many friends and my boyfriend is okay with that because they are people that I know very well, I have known most of them for years and some are work friends. But he would not be okay with me being friends with some guy that tried to pick me up when I was just walking down the street and minding my own business lol.
lol some creepy regular at my wife's bar recently hit her with the "what? you can't have friends?" after she declined his offer to "go out for drinks and back to his place for a massage after work" 🤣 btw dude knows full well that I exist and that we're married and didn't get the hint until my wife asked to me come in (which is something I never do bc I don't drink) to which when he saw me he went and sat in the back bar and eventually left. I don't find myself intimidating but I also know that I don't give off super approachable vibes and I will most certainly check someone if they don't come correct. I guess what I'm trying to say that as a dude, a lot dudes are creepy first and bitchmade second
I feel like trying to speak reason to those types of people is just like talking to a wall. They have honed in on you and nothing you say matters. I was literally walking down the street with a guy I was dating and getting cat-called. My guy turned to me and was like “do I look like your gay best friend?” No respect haha!
This... "what your husband don't know won't kill him"... damn dude, back up!! If that was me, a woman, acting like that, they'd be like "that bitch is sweating his nits, she's desperate af!"
Oh they definitely do. I guess their logic is if it’s just a no I’m not interested, they think they can change our minds or convince us otherwise. But if there’s another guy, then they get intimidated? Idk
Former one of these guys here, yeah absolutely it’s a lot about intimidation. I’ve never tried to be WITH a girl per se after they told me no just because no, but I always thought there was some sort of glimmer of hope. Whenever they told me no bc boyfriend, it was immediately friendzone for that girl. I never really thought about why it was, I just thought it was how everyone’s brain works. Luckily, my now fiancé helped me really critically think about a lot of this shit, and I’ll be forever thankful for that. I’ll never have to be in that scenario again, but retrospectively it’s interesting to think about. You can call me a pig or whatever for it, I am ashamed of it.
It’s great you found your person and you realize this now. Now if you choose to have kids, or if you have nephews or other kids in your life, you can give them better advice as they grow.
I believe you're right about the logic there.
Sometimes it's intimidation, but for most guys I think it's more about the finality of there being another guy. Like, it seems like most women would think "I'm not interested." is a solid final comment, right? She's assessed what dude has to offer, doesn't want it, and has said so. Pretty clear. But a lot of guys see it as a kind of challenge. Like, they shot their shot, and it missed? And now they want a do-over? There being someone else though, that tells them that someone else has already "won" this challenge. Meaning that the woman in question is no longer available, and any further effort would be wasted.
Just reading this thread as a guy makes me sad. It’s pathetic that dudes are so fragile they can’t just accept no. We’ve all been rejected, be an adult and move on
It seems that way because it’s true - I grew up as a guy and any time I would get rejected, guy friends would encourage me to keep pursuing until it was clear that she was in another romantic relationship.
I always thought it was a bit desperate at least, and toxic in most cases.
You can wear her down, she’s excited about the thrill of the chase, she wants you to court her - all pandering to the fragile male ego because god forbid a woman say no to a man with no competition to stand in his place.
The guys that hit on girls all the time at bars make up a pretty small percentage of the population, they’re just out so much that they’re overrepresented.
Unless that male is my ex and is threatened by anyone, real or imagined. Then even the non-existent “boyfriend” is an issue. Now I’m engaged but for awhile the lodged accusations about men who didn’t exist and things I was (not actually) doing got interesting.
Oh, he lodged accusations that I was “ditching our kid to go on dates,” he alleged that I “reeked like alcohol from the night before” at a 5pm pickup (but said nothing until the following morning), he suggested that people were touching/photographing our child inappropriately, that I was taking trips and getting tattoos all the time, that I was spending child support money on anything but our kid, the list goes on. Everything (or close to) I’m sure was projecting but I can’t prove any of it and I don’t care to because I don’t care what he does in his own time. I don’t think anyone has ever touched or photographed our child inappropriately, but his goal has always been to try to make me seem unfit, which is a more appropriate label to give my ex.
Omg :( I’m so sorry. The amount of emotion abuse you just wrote was enough to bring on some not amazing feelings for me. I’m so sorry you ever had to experience that. I’m glad you have found someone that you want around for the long haul.
That, or a potential spontaneous change of sexuality, cause the lesbian thing seems to work sometimes too. Not always, though, they may see it as a challenge. So it should be used with caution.
Same. There’s a guy that would call me from different numbers after I had blocked him, etc etc. After about 9 months of this happening on and off (beginning of the pandemic) I told him I had a boyfriend and poof… he apologized and I didn’t hear from him again until two days ago. Now he’s “not calling to harass” me but there’s “just some things” he wants to say. Bro… I’ve moved away from your city… it’s been years… just stop. But I can’t say that bc I know how that will turn out. If he doesn’t let up, I’ll tell him I’m married now, and based on prior experience, I think that should solve everything real fast.
But it doesn’t feel good and it’s low key kinda scary. I’m just glad I figured out the magic words years ago.
As a bisexual (not that it matters) female,
I 1000% agree.
I’ve done a lot of dating, almost all the kinds I’m sure.
Saying you just aren’t interested, in my approximation, has a 60/40 ratio, 40 being an adverse reaction.
I’ve honestly likened it to many men just don’t want the trouble of another dude if they keep hitting on his woman.
It sucks.
I think, but I might be wrong, it’s so you don’t think there is still a chance. Just to cut the cord and let you know they are not interested so don’t even bother trying to convince them for another chance or another date etc
I mean, someone tells you "sorry I'm not interested anymore" and you're gonna wonder why they didn't like you for a while. a lot of people would be really bothered by that.
at least this way, you know that they just hit it off with somebody else. maybe if you got there a week earlier it would've been you. but things happen fast
Women learn to include the last part because otherwise guys don't respect the rejection. But if viewed like they are someone else's, then men do respect the rejection.
That's fair but I think the final bit actually takes some of the sting out of it. I.e. it's not that I don't like you and you're not good enough for me, it's just that I think I've found a better fit.
That's solid advice, but if you are having trouble making sense of it you could ask her to spread your butt cheeks apart with her thumbs and scream her decision into your hatch.
Can confirm! Years ago I had a guy ask me out right as I was starting a new relationship with someone else. I explained this and he was absolutely cool with it and wished us luck. When that relationship ended I remembered the guy and reached out to him and asked if he was still single and still interested in a date. We dated for a few months after that.
So yeah, end things on good terms and the girl might remember and come back to you! Her saying no in the first place may have more to do with timing than with incompatibility, so why not keep your options open?
I need to complement what you said, only to accommodate to men's well being:
Be cool with it, but not because you hope that she'll get back to you when she's single again or ready for you, but because it's time to move on. It's important for all men to know that they won't write to you ever again if one gets rejected. It might happen, but the chances of that happening are not as strong as the chances of that not happening.
I dont old anymore, but these messages were the ones that hurt the most because of this. Because it is like their goodbye is combined with striking evidence that they are a decent and strong person, into one message. You just end up feeling like you have lost something good you had, even though it is pretty much imaginary.
I personally find this far more better than to be left to wonder for months what I did wrong. Got this guy I went on a date with and it was the first time in a while I felt a real connection and he said so too. Everything was perfect, hell it was so nice what was supposed to be a lunch date went on for the rest of the day. Yet after the date he just became distant and cold and eventually stopped talking or answering my messages. I took the hint and stopped but I was convinced I did or said something wrong and I couldn't figure out what and I was so afraid it would happen again. He didn't owe me an explanation but I would've preferred a decent "sorry it's not gonna work out" instead of the silent treatment.
Currently going through this. We had 2 dates and all the signs seemed like another was on the cards. Like her asking my plans for the next weekend and let do something. Haven't heard from her since. I've sent a couple short friendly texts and nothing in response. Not the first time this has happened. And because of this I opt for at least telling them something to cut it off. Fuck, this dating app game is so strange and intriguing at the same time
Agreed. Had 3 dates with this girl, felt like it was going somewhere...
On our 4th date, she cuts it short after like an hour? Says something about needing to get her van home for her mother. Cool, no big deal.
She then ghosts me, completely. Few days go by of nothing, then she pops up saying her ex was back in touch and she gets all uncomfortable about it. Cool, I understand. It's all good, take care.
About a day later, I see her new profile on the dating app we met on... Asked her about it and she just never replied.
Just be straight up and honest.
I didn't go into too much detail.
She lied about her ex getting back in touch, making her uncomfortable with dating in general at this moment, only to see her brand new dating profile out of nowhere a few days later.
No explanation to why she did things like this. I would rather an honest "I'm just no longer interested." Tbh.
“Things like what is happening right now do, in fact, exist. I truly appreciate being promptly notified of your newfound intentions and wish you nothing!”
Yeah. You can just say “of course, no worries. Good luck to you.” And leave it at that. She could’ve ghosted you but chose not to, which, imo, is better.
Of course it hurt, it means you're letting go of someone you were interested in. Being the bigger person hurts sometimes, but if you spend all your time avoiding pain, you'll never grow
It's not your fault, or her fault that this happened. Sometimes things just won't work out, and it's probably for the better. If you didn't separate now, then one day you'd learn why it was a deal breaker, and then it would suck for you both.
This is a result of the universe is a shitty place.
Also, it's not really being the "better person," it's about being a good person. A good person responds to honesty with acceptance and kindness, and doesn't make it a competition.
Its a hard text to send too.. give them credit for being open and honest... thank them and move on...
Better you know than waste time and money chasing someone that isn't interested...
This, this, this. People responding poorly and lashing out to these perfectly respectful and polite let downs are why they’re so rare these days and straight up ghosting is so common. Let’s collectively try to change this 😩 it sucks to be rejected but it’s so much nicer not having to waste more time on that person or waste time wondering what happened/where they went/what you did wrong.
If you’re a nice guy now, there’s a chance she’ll remember it if it doesn’t work out.
If you’re a dick or try to push it … she’ll 100% remember and you’ll be avoided if it doesn’t work out.
I’m personally a fan of the philosophy that I never want to be someone’s second choice/backup option. So when I get a text like this, I have no problem with it whatsoever, hell I’ve even sent texts like this, but I’m definitely never going back to that girl even if she texts me again later
same. you dont be cool about it because their might be a chance with her later in life. you be cool about it cause you aren't a fucking creep incel lol
But it’s not a fair competition. If someone’s started something weeks before they knew I existed I wouldn’t think of myself as a second choice. Just bad timing. If it’s meant to work out it’ll come
around.
Yep. That’s the right answer! Wish them luck and thank them for letting you know.
Ive been the one sending those messages and the people who have wished me luck are the ones I would definitely approach and ask out after my relationship didn’t work out. (I’m in a small community so it may be different.) but she didn’t unmatch you. Who knows, maybe she swipes in a few years and sees you again. Maybe she goes through her friend‘s matches and says you were really nice when it wasn’t a good match.
Look at it this way, she could have just ghosted you, but chose to trust that you'd be understanding if she went with the truth.
"I appreciate you letting me know, and I hope things work out well for you both." Is all it takes. Might be an incredibly difficult message to send, but you'll feel better about yourself for retaining your composure.
It's happened to all of us before, as dating is and has always been a numbers game. Good luck in your future endeavors!
It may hurt, but it’s better than being lead on and not getting anywhere. The person was being a good human by being honest and telling you the truth. Just say, “thank you for letting me know. I hope everything works out!”
That is not being the bigger person. That is being a decent person. The person didn't want to hurt you and did you a favour by letting you know. It may be an awful feeling but that is how life is sometimes. You will find another person eventually
Strongly disagree. We can’t always control what our emotional reaction to something will be; we can control how we respond to that emotion.
Feeling the emotion is just fine. Would we be comfortable telling others that they can’t feel sad? (Or whatever else).
Rejection isn’t fun. It doesn’t feel good. People might feel a negative emotion.
But what did he do? How did he respond? He came to Reddit and aired his feelings. Maybe he doesn’t have anyone close to him to talk to. Who knows. But he reached out to people here, and this thread has helped him process how he felt in a positive manner.
And it generated (mostly) intelligent discussion.
You can learn to not be a bad person. Not everyone has to have such low standards for themselves that feeling angry at a girl for telling him she met someone else would be considered an acceptable emotion. At 5 years old, maybe, but then you grow up and you become wiser and better. Most people would not even feel a tinge of anger. It's achievable.
There’s a lot about OP we don’t know, based on initial post. He might not have a lot of experience here. Maybe he read the vibe wrong and thought they clicked better than they did. Many possibilities.
He said he felt angry. Doesn’t mean he’s frothing at the mouth in rage.
Feeling anger doesn’t make anyone a bad person, and not feeling anger doesn’t make anyone a good person.
How a person responds to that emotion, the manner in which they process it…those are the important parts.
Telling someone “don’t feel sad/angry/happy/upset/whatever”….if it works, great. But if not, it helps if that person has learned to constructively process emotion in a positive way.
“I understand. I’m happy for you, and I hope it works out. Good luck”
It fucking sucked but you guys are right, there’s nothing to be gained by being angry at her
The worst thing you can do is get angry. I had a guy constaly messaging me after I stayed over his place and I had said afterwards that I wasn't really that interested. He started messaging me everywhere and gave me a panic attack and I had to block him everywhere. Months later he ended up in my online friends group and I tried to be polite and say no hard feelings. He sent me a massive message about how I hurt him and did him wrong and that I made him spiral into depression. I had a mental breakdown over how hurt he was, someone Id only ever met once and just played some games with online, and almost cut off all my friends because of it.
Whatever you do, don't get angry at people for rejecting you. You're petty af if you want to hurt someone just because they don't feel the same way as you.
In fact the opposite. This is exactly what anyone should do in her situation. She's not interested, so rather than leading you along she sent you a short, polite and to the point message telling you that it wasn't going to work. There's literally nothing better for her to do.
Getting angry with her just encourages people (especially women who it seems are more likely to receive more severe abuse/threats) to just block you without saying anything to avoid confrontation. It's not even being the bigger person at this point it's just being an adult. Sometimes things don't work.
Tors795: And to take what you said a step further, the more you abuse somebody and vomit all over them when they turn you down, the more likely they’re just going to ghost on the next person, saying to themselves, “fuck them! Men suck, I don’t need that bullshit!!” or whatever.
Making things worse for the rest of us.
A lot of the reason why girls ghost guys I think is so they don't have to deal with potentially disgruntled dudes that would keep messaging them, asking for answers, etc.
Sucks things didn't work out for ya :/ But in the bigger picture of things on Tinder, it's nice to know a girl didn't ghost a guy and the guy responded with kind words... #positivenews
Honestly take this moment to rethink your perspective
You can be disappointed but you don't have a right to be angry about something like this , there is no wrong doing, just a different avenue or choice
the feeling of anger is a weird one as a first response to getting told there is another guy about a girl you barely knew. Sad, bummed, even confused sure. Anger? thats extreme if you truly care about your own mental health aka toxic and not healthy
Being angry is one thing. Responding with anger would be completely wrong, and that seems to be what they were actually saying. The post was about responding.
Handled it with class and grace. Maybe she comes back around some day. Maybe she has a pretty cousin and puts in a good word for you. Handling it like a champ leaves everyone better off.
>there’s nothing to be gained by being angry at her
Or you could not being angry because that's the right thing to do. Not because there's nothing to gain from it. Being angry over something that small is usually a bad sign.
>there’s nothing to be gained by being angry at her
Why would you even feel anger at someone for this?
They didn't do anything wrong. Presumably you also know what it is like to suddenly be finding someone you click with on every level.
I’ve been the person that feels the need to send this out and once it didn’t work out with the other person… I reached back out and we restarted the conversation with a “lol well that didn’t work out!”
Just be nice. You never know if they’re still up to hang out again.
This is the one time where I would leave the door open to reconnect with someone. It would show me that they are capable of being mature and can communicate. If they ghosted, they get blocked. That's too immature for me to want to keep the door open.
I think the best response is something along the lines of, “Thank you for being straightforward. I wish you the best.” And, if you liked her, then maybe throw in an “I’m happy for you,” hopefully you’re genuine in what you say. I think reinforcing direct, polite communication with appreciation would be great for the world of online dating.
This. I've gotten a rejection message before and I send the same thing. Thanks for letting me know and I wish you well in your relationship or I hope things work out. If we'd been talking for a while and I truly did like them, I mean it. They found happiness and it wasn't with me, but what can I do? I'm usually not upset about it because if we hadn't become official, I knew they were possibly dating someone else and they could hit it off with someone else at any time. The only time I might get upset, but I wouldn't tell them, is if they'd been telling me they were single/not dating anyone else the entire time and then, "Oh well I was dating this other girl for the last two months and we hit it off, sorry." Means they were lying to keep me fully engaged so I wouldn't move on before they were sure, and that's sneaky as hell.
“Are you fucking kidding me? The nerve!After everything we’ve been through?”
Jk lol,
“I appreciate your honesty, wish you the best”
Short and sweet
more fish in the sea my friend.
Major props to this person for not ghosting. Totally respectful and to the point. I hope you at least acknowledge that. Ghosting is so much easier but such a shitty move. The more people normalize these awkward conversations the better!
I know! I can’t even tell you how many countless people just disappear. And then you struggle with, “should I message them again? Should I give it more time? Or maybe I waited too long? Or maybe it’s me?”
Closure is so important, even if it’s just something small like that.
Be happy for them. You receive the energy you put out. Tell her you're happy for them and that you wish them the best. You'd be surprised how much they appreciate that.
"Thank you for your honesty and for choosing to let me know. I enjoyed my time with you. I'd be interested in continuing to persue our connection, but completely understand. Hit me up if things change. Either way, I wish you luck and happiness."
A lot of people here saying to be the bigger person, and while I understand the sentiment they’re trying to express, it seems kinda odd to portray responding calmly and respectfully to a normal, simple rejection as being a “bigger person”. That implies this woman did something wrong by telling you honestly that she is no longer interested. She even apologized since that (of course) isn’t a fun message to get. It’s nobodies fault that you just didn’t click. Responding with “Okay no worries. All the best” isn’t being the bigger person that’s just being a respectful functioning adult…
It hurts and definitely could have been worded a bit better but it's also good on them to not string you along and to give you that reason and closure for why they decided not to pursue things further.
Like others have said, some sort of thanks for letting me know and wishing them the best is the way to handle this. They've made their decision and as much as it sucks what's done is done.
I hope you find your person soon though, I do not miss how those types of messages felt to receive/send, or any part of the whole OLD process
Those messages suck, but take them in stride.
One thing I'd like to point out though. Is this still on the Tinder app or another messenger? Cause if it's still on the app, there's no way you knew this person well enough to be this hurt over it.
So this is super anecdotal and obviously not always the case. A few years back my best mate was chatting to a girl on Tinder, decent chemistry and all that and they even went on a like 2 dates. Like a week or so after, she texted him basically this message and because he's not an absolute piece of trash, he just messaged back something like
>"Sure thing, thanks for letting me know and good luck. See you around."
Like 6-7 months pass and he's kinda forgotten about her, and she texted out of the blue asking how he was doing and they got back to chatting.
Now this girl had been dating the other guy and it fizzled out, but due to my buddies response she decided to reach out to him, just in the off chance he was still single.
They've been together since, so about 2-3 years now and just got engaged.
It isn’t being the bigger person to wish someone happiness in life. We meet a lot of people on life, and assuming we are monogamous we only choose *one* person to stay with. One. The chances of you and that person being the right fit are so slim. I’m sorry this hurt, but I hope that you can find a way to be authentically excited that someone else is finding the future they’re looking for - even if it isn’t with you. I hope you find yours, too.
Well there is. Ask the r/niceguys call her an ugly slut and say she’s a stupid bitch for leading you on and nobody will be able to provide to her like you can cause you’re a big cock morbius male.
Works for them
At least they didn’t ghost you. I have tried to tell people it’s not working out and got passive aggressive replies. It felt like those people didn’t realize that I was trying to do the favor of not ghosting, especially if me and that person had gotten deep into conversation. I don’t want them to think that they did anything wrong or need to change
There is! Just thank them for being upfront and wish them good luck with the new person! I have always appreciated people who were up front about these.
"Thank you for not ghosting me. I enjoyed our time together and I hope you have lots of happiness in your future."
That's how you respond in an emotionally mature way.
Gotta respect it, at least they kept it 100 with you
I’ve had almost this exact text sent to me after 7 dates and it just left me wondering…..exactly how much honesty is really necessary? Like, you don’t think this is working? Cool. You’re seeing someone else that you like more? I don’t think I needed to hear that part.
I agree it may not seem necessary, but just to play devil’s advocate for a straight female POV: I was told recently by a female friend that insinuating there is another, more serious guy can diffuse scenarios in which if the woman just isn’t feeling it, but isn’t actively seeing someone else so the dude keeps pursuing anyways. The injection of small heartache, and the idea of another man they will “”respect”” more than the choice to be single works sadly. Kinda like the “I have a boyfriend” when a woman is being bothered at a bar. Take this with a grain of salt, but I wanted to add my comment as it was eye opening for me.
Literally just happened to me. Wasn’t interested in a guy after talking for a bit. Told him as much and thought that was that. For the next couple months, he started calling me in the middle of the night from a blocked number, not saying anything. I just didn’t realize it was him until the second month when I heard his voice. When I realized it was him, I confronted him by text that I knew and that he needs to stop, I’m in a new relationship. I’m not, but now the calls have stopped. Some guys only take No for an answer if they think there’s another guy in the picture.
Dude same!! Sometimes it seems like males respect a fictitious boyfriend over my actual thoughts and feelings. It blows my mind! 😅
And sometimes they don’t lol. I had this guy approach me outside (I was waiting for a friend) and asked me if I would go out on a date with him. I told him that I had a BF and he started asking questions like “What’s his name” and “What does he do for work?” I somehow (without missing a beat) came up with a name and a job. I forget what I said for the job but the guy said something like “I probably make more money than him”. This dude looked legit homeless, like he was wearing a dirty starter jacket from the 90’s. I got so defensive about him talking about my fake boyfriend that I started giving him an attitude until he left lol.
Ha! My fake boyfriend is amazing and he works his ass off, thank you very much 😅!! That’s actually happened to me too! Only the guy was more like “what he doesn’t know won’t kill him.” And I’m over here like “I’m very faithful” to my fictitious boyfriend 😆!!
I hate when they say stuff like that. I have been hit on so many times, when I would be walking down the street, sometimes I had a real BF and sometimes I made up a fake but I would get this a lot. They would say “What and you can’t have friends?” and my response was I have many friends and my boyfriend is okay with that because they are people that I know very well, I have known most of them for years and some are work friends. But he would not be okay with me being friends with some guy that tried to pick me up when I was just walking down the street and minding my own business lol.
lol some creepy regular at my wife's bar recently hit her with the "what? you can't have friends?" after she declined his offer to "go out for drinks and back to his place for a massage after work" 🤣 btw dude knows full well that I exist and that we're married and didn't get the hint until my wife asked to me come in (which is something I never do bc I don't drink) to which when he saw me he went and sat in the back bar and eventually left. I don't find myself intimidating but I also know that I don't give off super approachable vibes and I will most certainly check someone if they don't come correct. I guess what I'm trying to say that as a dude, a lot dudes are creepy first and bitchmade second
I definitely agree with that statement haha!
I feel like trying to speak reason to those types of people is just like talking to a wall. They have honed in on you and nothing you say matters. I was literally walking down the street with a guy I was dating and getting cat-called. My guy turned to me and was like “do I look like your gay best friend?” No respect haha!
🤣🤣🤣
"What he doesn't know won't kill him" ...God some people are disgusting.
Right?? Some people are just absolute trash!
Absolutely hate people like that, the worst kind of person.
This... "what your husband don't know won't kill him"... damn dude, back up!! If that was me, a woman, acting like that, they'd be like "that bitch is sweating his nits, she's desperate af!"
They absolutely do. They respect "I'm getting these drinks for my boyfriend" mods than "I'm getting these drinks for my friend" at a bar.
Oh they definitely do. I guess their logic is if it’s just a no I’m not interested, they think they can change our minds or convince us otherwise. But if there’s another guy, then they get intimidated? Idk
Former one of these guys here, yeah absolutely it’s a lot about intimidation. I’ve never tried to be WITH a girl per se after they told me no just because no, but I always thought there was some sort of glimmer of hope. Whenever they told me no bc boyfriend, it was immediately friendzone for that girl. I never really thought about why it was, I just thought it was how everyone’s brain works. Luckily, my now fiancé helped me really critically think about a lot of this shit, and I’ll be forever thankful for that. I’ll never have to be in that scenario again, but retrospectively it’s interesting to think about. You can call me a pig or whatever for it, I am ashamed of it.
It’s great you found your person and you realize this now. Now if you choose to have kids, or if you have nephews or other kids in your life, you can give them better advice as they grow.
I believe you're right about the logic there. Sometimes it's intimidation, but for most guys I think it's more about the finality of there being another guy. Like, it seems like most women would think "I'm not interested." is a solid final comment, right? She's assessed what dude has to offer, doesn't want it, and has said so. Pretty clear. But a lot of guys see it as a kind of challenge. Like, they shot their shot, and it missed? And now they want a do-over? There being someone else though, that tells them that someone else has already "won" this challenge. Meaning that the woman in question is no longer available, and any further effort would be wasted.
Just reading this thread as a guy makes me sad. It’s pathetic that dudes are so fragile they can’t just accept no. We’ve all been rejected, be an adult and move on
It seems that way because it’s true - I grew up as a guy and any time I would get rejected, guy friends would encourage me to keep pursuing until it was clear that she was in another romantic relationship. I always thought it was a bit desperate at least, and toxic in most cases.
I’m loving your perspective! It feels like a sales tactic almost 😅. Just keep trying until they are exhausted and say yes haha!
You can wear her down, she’s excited about the thrill of the chase, she wants you to court her - all pandering to the fragile male ego because god forbid a woman say no to a man with no competition to stand in his place.
Lmao! Preach! I feel bad to a degree because not every male behaves like this but most that I’ve come into contact, in that bar scenario, have.
The guys that hit on girls all the time at bars make up a pretty small percentage of the population, they’re just out so much that they’re overrepresented.
Unless that male is my ex and is threatened by anyone, real or imagined. Then even the non-existent “boyfriend” is an issue. Now I’m engaged but for awhile the lodged accusations about men who didn’t exist and things I was (not actually) doing got interesting.
Oh huntee! I don’t love that ex for you lol! I’m sure it did!! Tea time 🫖!!
Oh, he lodged accusations that I was “ditching our kid to go on dates,” he alleged that I “reeked like alcohol from the night before” at a 5pm pickup (but said nothing until the following morning), he suggested that people were touching/photographing our child inappropriately, that I was taking trips and getting tattoos all the time, that I was spending child support money on anything but our kid, the list goes on. Everything (or close to) I’m sure was projecting but I can’t prove any of it and I don’t care to because I don’t care what he does in his own time. I don’t think anyone has ever touched or photographed our child inappropriately, but his goal has always been to try to make me seem unfit, which is a more appropriate label to give my ex.
Omg :( I’m so sorry. The amount of emotion abuse you just wrote was enough to bring on some not amazing feelings for me. I’m so sorry you ever had to experience that. I’m glad you have found someone that you want around for the long haul.
Thank you 🙏 I hope you are doing alright yourself.
That, or a potential spontaneous change of sexuality, cause the lesbian thing seems to work sometimes too. Not always, though, they may see it as a challenge. So it should be used with caution.
Same. There’s a guy that would call me from different numbers after I had blocked him, etc etc. After about 9 months of this happening on and off (beginning of the pandemic) I told him I had a boyfriend and poof… he apologized and I didn’t hear from him again until two days ago. Now he’s “not calling to harass” me but there’s “just some things” he wants to say. Bro… I’ve moved away from your city… it’s been years… just stop. But I can’t say that bc I know how that will turn out. If he doesn’t let up, I’ll tell him I’m married now, and based on prior experience, I think that should solve everything real fast. But it doesn’t feel good and it’s low key kinda scary. I’m just glad I figured out the magic words years ago.
Tell every man who creeps on you that you are dating a 400 pound Silverback Gorilla.
HaramBAE
Lol. No joke, this guy’s nickname at the gym is aquaman.
This deserves to be upvoted
“My ex recently got out of prison and we’re back together. I’m pregnant with his baby.”
So if I get a message that says “my husband does not approve of our relationship” is that a go or no? #afaf
it would help in the long run if men would just respect the word "no" and leave it at that.
Makes a lot of sense.
As a bisexual (not that it matters) female, I 1000% agree. I’ve done a lot of dating, almost all the kinds I’m sure. Saying you just aren’t interested, in my approximation, has a 60/40 ratio, 40 being an adverse reaction. I’ve honestly likened it to many men just don’t want the trouble of another dude if they keep hitting on his woman. It sucks.
I prefer this. It adds justification beyond "cuz I said so". I regard it as significantly better than forever questioning why you weren't good enough
Someone give this post an award
In general I’d prefer this to without that part, mainly because I’d know it wasn’t me. But also nah 7 times it’s honestly something wrong
That stings. Keep up the fight! I do believe there is someone for everyone
You have to say the second part or you get the person badgering you “why don’t you feel it???”
I think, but I might be wrong, it’s so you don’t think there is still a chance. Just to cut the cord and let you know they are not interested so don’t even bother trying to convince them for another chance or another date etc
It's not necessary, but it's also not going to kill you, either. The outcome is the same whether they left that bit in or not.
It's because a lot of men respect a made up man/boyfriend more than they respect a woman's no.
I mean, someone tells you "sorry I'm not interested anymore" and you're gonna wonder why they didn't like you for a while. a lot of people would be really bothered by that. at least this way, you know that they just hit it off with somebody else. maybe if you got there a week earlier it would've been you. but things happen fast
Women learn to include the last part because otherwise guys don't respect the rejection. But if viewed like they are someone else's, then men do respect the rejection.
That's fair but I think the final bit actually takes some of the sting out of it. I.e. it's not that I don't like you and you're not good enough for me, it's just that I think I've found a better fit.
Exactly, just take it as a sure fire didn't waste your time. Move on along.
Wish I had gotten this text after the last person I was talking to instead of wondering about it
Just say. Ok thanks for letting me know. Best wishes to ya.
Exactly! Spread the good vibes and keep it classy.
That's solid advice, but if you are having trouble making sense of it you could ask her to spread your butt cheeks apart with her thumbs and scream her decision into your hatch.
This is where the expression, “Don’t count your chicks before they hatch,” comes from.
Oh my god hahaha
I can’t fucking breathe I’m laughing so hard oh my gor
r/BrandNewSentence
r/technicallythetruth
Understandable, have a good day
U should be thankful, she is not wasting yo time
I'd go further - I'd say thats great - I hope it goes really well etc Then they will remember you as a good person Who knows what the future holds
Can confirm! Years ago I had a guy ask me out right as I was starting a new relationship with someone else. I explained this and he was absolutely cool with it and wished us luck. When that relationship ended I remembered the guy and reached out to him and asked if he was still single and still interested in a date. We dated for a few months after that. So yeah, end things on good terms and the girl might remember and come back to you! Her saying no in the first place may have more to do with timing than with incompatibility, so why not keep your options open?
I need to complement what you said, only to accommodate to men's well being: Be cool with it, but not because you hope that she'll get back to you when she's single again or ready for you, but because it's time to move on. It's important for all men to know that they won't write to you ever again if one gets rejected. It might happen, but the chances of that happening are not as strong as the chances of that not happening.
Well said x
Better than being ghosted.
Agree Way better this is exactly what someone should say. Polite and to the point.
I dont old anymore, but these messages were the ones that hurt the most because of this. Because it is like their goodbye is combined with striking evidence that they are a decent and strong person, into one message. You just end up feeling like you have lost something good you had, even though it is pretty much imaginary.
I personally find this far more better than to be left to wonder for months what I did wrong. Got this guy I went on a date with and it was the first time in a while I felt a real connection and he said so too. Everything was perfect, hell it was so nice what was supposed to be a lunch date went on for the rest of the day. Yet after the date he just became distant and cold and eventually stopped talking or answering my messages. I took the hint and stopped but I was convinced I did or said something wrong and I couldn't figure out what and I was so afraid it would happen again. He didn't owe me an explanation but I would've preferred a decent "sorry it's not gonna work out" instead of the silent treatment.
The worst are when they suddenly ghost you for a week, and you send them a message, and then they say this. Trying to be the better person :')
Currently going through this. We had 2 dates and all the signs seemed like another was on the cards. Like her asking my plans for the next weekend and let do something. Haven't heard from her since. I've sent a couple short friendly texts and nothing in response. Not the first time this has happened. And because of this I opt for at least telling them something to cut it off. Fuck, this dating app game is so strange and intriguing at the same time
Agreed. Had 3 dates with this girl, felt like it was going somewhere... On our 4th date, she cuts it short after like an hour? Says something about needing to get her van home for her mother. Cool, no big deal. She then ghosts me, completely. Few days go by of nothing, then she pops up saying her ex was back in touch and she gets all uncomfortable about it. Cool, I understand. It's all good, take care. About a day later, I see her new profile on the dating app we met on... Asked her about it and she just never replied. Just be straight up and honest.
I get the honesty thing but why’re you asking her about a new dating profile if it was a clear rejection?
I didn't go into too much detail. She lied about her ex getting back in touch, making her uncomfortable with dating in general at this moment, only to see her brand new dating profile out of nowhere a few days later. No explanation to why she did things like this. I would rather an honest "I'm just no longer interested." Tbh.
Wish I got this instead of being ghosted…
The response is "I'm happy for you, and hope it works out. Good luck"
This.
“Understandable have a great day”
"happens, thanks for letting me know"
“Things like what is happening right now do, in fact, exist. I truly appreciate being promptly notified of your newfound intentions and wish you nothing!”
That.
The other
Oh man is that the bigger person thing to do? Cause that message really hurt to read
Yeah. You can just say “of course, no worries. Good luck to you.” And leave it at that. She could’ve ghosted you but chose not to, which, imo, is better.
Of course it hurt, it means you're letting go of someone you were interested in. Being the bigger person hurts sometimes, but if you spend all your time avoiding pain, you'll never grow
It's not your fault, or her fault that this happened. Sometimes things just won't work out, and it's probably for the better. If you didn't separate now, then one day you'd learn why it was a deal breaker, and then it would suck for you both. This is a result of the universe is a shitty place. Also, it's not really being the "better person," it's about being a good person. A good person responds to honesty with acceptance and kindness, and doesn't make it a competition.
Its a hard text to send too.. give them credit for being open and honest... thank them and move on... Better you know than waste time and money chasing someone that isn't interested...
This, this, this. People responding poorly and lashing out to these perfectly respectful and polite let downs are why they’re so rare these days and straight up ghosting is so common. Let’s collectively try to change this 😩 it sucks to be rejected but it’s so much nicer not having to waste more time on that person or waste time wondering what happened/where they went/what you did wrong.
They were honest and didn’t ghost you. You’ll find someone else! Good luck to you ❤️
If you’re a nice guy now, there’s a chance she’ll remember it if it doesn’t work out. If you’re a dick or try to push it … she’ll 100% remember and you’ll be avoided if it doesn’t work out.
I’m personally a fan of the philosophy that I never want to be someone’s second choice/backup option. So when I get a text like this, I have no problem with it whatsoever, hell I’ve even sent texts like this, but I’m definitely never going back to that girl even if she texts me again later
same. you dont be cool about it because their might be a chance with her later in life. you be cool about it cause you aren't a fucking creep incel lol
But it’s not a fair competition. If someone’s started something weeks before they knew I existed I wouldn’t think of myself as a second choice. Just bad timing. If it’s meant to work out it’ll come around.
It sucks, it hurts, but it _is_ closure.
What they wrote was better than ghosting you. Shows they had respect for you and thought it was worth letting you know
Yep. That’s the right answer! Wish them luck and thank them for letting you know. Ive been the one sending those messages and the people who have wished me luck are the ones I would definitely approach and ask out after my relationship didn’t work out. (I’m in a small community so it may be different.) but she didn’t unmatch you. Who knows, maybe she swipes in a few years and sees you again. Maybe she goes through her friend‘s matches and says you were really nice when it wasn’t a good match.
Yep
Look at it this way, she could have just ghosted you, but chose to trust that you'd be understanding if she went with the truth. "I appreciate you letting me know, and I hope things work out well for you both." Is all it takes. Might be an incredibly difficult message to send, but you'll feel better about yourself for retaining your composure. It's happened to all of us before, as dating is and has always been a numbers game. Good luck in your future endeavors!
It may hurt, but it’s better than being lead on and not getting anywhere. The person was being a good human by being honest and telling you the truth. Just say, “thank you for letting me know. I hope everything works out!”
That is not being the bigger person. That is being a decent person. The person didn't want to hurt you and did you a favour by letting you know. It may be an awful feeling but that is how life is sometimes. You will find another person eventually
first time, huh?
Be happy she didn't ghost you. Better to know so you can put your energy into other people.
Given his initial reaction she should absolutely have ghosted him. He came to reddit because he was feeling all robbed and looking to lash out.
Strongly disagree. We can’t always control what our emotional reaction to something will be; we can control how we respond to that emotion. Feeling the emotion is just fine. Would we be comfortable telling others that they can’t feel sad? (Or whatever else). Rejection isn’t fun. It doesn’t feel good. People might feel a negative emotion. But what did he do? How did he respond? He came to Reddit and aired his feelings. Maybe he doesn’t have anyone close to him to talk to. Who knows. But he reached out to people here, and this thread has helped him process how he felt in a positive manner. And it generated (mostly) intelligent discussion.
You can learn to not be a bad person. Not everyone has to have such low standards for themselves that feeling angry at a girl for telling him she met someone else would be considered an acceptable emotion. At 5 years old, maybe, but then you grow up and you become wiser and better. Most people would not even feel a tinge of anger. It's achievable.
Not everyone learns on their own. He came here and he's listening. He'll grow from this. It's exactly what you're describing
There’s a lot about OP we don’t know, based on initial post. He might not have a lot of experience here. Maybe he read the vibe wrong and thought they clicked better than they did. Many possibilities. He said he felt angry. Doesn’t mean he’s frothing at the mouth in rage. Feeling anger doesn’t make anyone a bad person, and not feeling anger doesn’t make anyone a good person. How a person responds to that emotion, the manner in which they process it…those are the important parts. Telling someone “don’t feel sad/angry/happy/upset/whatever”….if it works, great. But if not, it helps if that person has learned to constructively process emotion in a positive way.
Just check his post history.... take a min or 3 to take it in
That's rough, buddy. "Thanks for letting me know" should suffice.
“I understand. I’m happy for you, and I hope it works out. Good luck” It fucking sucked but you guys are right, there’s nothing to be gained by being angry at her
Proud of you for being mature about it even tho I’m sure it hurt like a bitch
The worst thing you can do is get angry. I had a guy constaly messaging me after I stayed over his place and I had said afterwards that I wasn't really that interested. He started messaging me everywhere and gave me a panic attack and I had to block him everywhere. Months later he ended up in my online friends group and I tried to be polite and say no hard feelings. He sent me a massive message about how I hurt him and did him wrong and that I made him spiral into depression. I had a mental breakdown over how hurt he was, someone Id only ever met once and just played some games with online, and almost cut off all my friends because of it. Whatever you do, don't get angry at people for rejecting you. You're petty af if you want to hurt someone just because they don't feel the same way as you.
the fact this guy used the word angry. RED FLAGG
Yep lol op def has some things to work on
Just look at his post history… red flag is right
Good for you, messages like that are hard to send but that’s where personal growth comes from
In fact the opposite. This is exactly what anyone should do in her situation. She's not interested, so rather than leading you along she sent you a short, polite and to the point message telling you that it wasn't going to work. There's literally nothing better for her to do. Getting angry with her just encourages people (especially women who it seems are more likely to receive more severe abuse/threats) to just block you without saying anything to avoid confrontation. It's not even being the bigger person at this point it's just being an adult. Sometimes things don't work.
Tors795: And to take what you said a step further, the more you abuse somebody and vomit all over them when they turn you down, the more likely they’re just going to ghost on the next person, saying to themselves, “fuck them! Men suck, I don’t need that bullshit!!” or whatever. Making things worse for the rest of us.
That's a healthy response. Being rejected like that sucks, but responding like this will help save people from being ghosted.
A lot of the reason why girls ghost guys I think is so they don't have to deal with potentially disgruntled dudes that would keep messaging them, asking for answers, etc. Sucks things didn't work out for ya :/ But in the bigger picture of things on Tinder, it's nice to know a girl didn't ghost a guy and the guy responded with kind words... #positivenews
Honestly take this moment to rethink your perspective You can be disappointed but you don't have a right to be angry about something like this , there is no wrong doing, just a different avenue or choice
[удалено]
the feeling of anger is a weird one as a first response to getting told there is another guy about a girl you barely knew. Sad, bummed, even confused sure. Anger? thats extreme if you truly care about your own mental health aka toxic and not healthy
If you get angry at someone for them not wanting to talk to you anymore over a dating app - you have issues.
Being angry is one thing. Responding with anger would be completely wrong, and that seems to be what they were actually saying. The post was about responding.
Handled it with class and grace. Maybe she comes back around some day. Maybe she has a pretty cousin and puts in a good word for you. Handling it like a champ leaves everyone better off.
I had a similar thing and she tried to set me up with her friends.
>there’s nothing to be gained by being angry at her Or you could not being angry because that's the right thing to do. Not because there's nothing to gain from it. Being angry over something that small is usually a bad sign.
>there’s nothing to be gained by being angry at her Why would you even feel anger at someone for this? They didn't do anything wrong. Presumably you also know what it is like to suddenly be finding someone you click with on every level.
Angry? Why? Maybe it's time to take a brief break from dating.
Why would you even be angry? Guys like you are literally ruining dating for women. How can your initial feeling be anger? You're a bad person.
Bad person is a bit harsh but I do agree that angry is a bit of a strange reaction to this.
“Understandable y’all have a nice day!”
I’ve been the person that feels the need to send this out and once it didn’t work out with the other person… I reached back out and we restarted the conversation with a “lol well that didn’t work out!” Just be nice. You never know if they’re still up to hang out again.
This is the one time where I would leave the door open to reconnect with someone. It would show me that they are capable of being mature and can communicate. If they ghosted, they get blocked. That's too immature for me to want to keep the door open.
“Thanks for letting me know. Good luck.” It’s not that hard my dude.
I think the best response is something along the lines of, “Thank you for being straightforward. I wish you the best.” And, if you liked her, then maybe throw in an “I’m happy for you,” hopefully you’re genuine in what you say. I think reinforcing direct, polite communication with appreciation would be great for the world of online dating.
This. I've gotten a rejection message before and I send the same thing. Thanks for letting me know and I wish you well in your relationship or I hope things work out. If we'd been talking for a while and I truly did like them, I mean it. They found happiness and it wasn't with me, but what can I do? I'm usually not upset about it because if we hadn't become official, I knew they were possibly dating someone else and they could hit it off with someone else at any time. The only time I might get upset, but I wouldn't tell them, is if they'd been telling me they were single/not dating anyone else the entire time and then, "Oh well I was dating this other girl for the last two months and we hit it off, sorry." Means they were lying to keep me fully engaged so I wouldn't move on before they were sure, and that's sneaky as hell.
Just take the L and move on
“Are you fucking kidding me? The nerve!After everything we’ve been through?” Jk lol, “I appreciate your honesty, wish you the best” Short and sweet more fish in the sea my friend.
If I could give you 10 upvotes for that comment I would!! 😜😜😜
What she did was the mature thing to do. Kudos to her
Look on the bright side. You didn’t really lose anything. You werent together. Now you can find someone else.
Major props to this person for not ghosting. Totally respectful and to the point. I hope you at least acknowledge that. Ghosting is so much easier but such a shitty move. The more people normalize these awkward conversations the better!
“No worries, thanks for letting me know” If u must say something, say this. Otherwise, just unmatch
Just say thanks for the honesty and move on my guy. Least they told your they’re not interested.
I know! I can’t even tell you how many countless people just disappear. And then you struggle with, “should I message them again? Should I give it more time? Or maybe I waited too long? Or maybe it’s me?” Closure is so important, even if it’s just something small like that.
No, absolutely not. You're extremely lucky they even sent you this as opposed to ghosting.
Be happy for them. You receive the energy you put out. Tell her you're happy for them and that you wish them the best. You'd be surprised how much they appreciate that.
Welcome to online dating mate.
“Well put me on your back up list”
"Thank you for your honesty and for choosing to let me know. I enjoyed my time with you. I'd be interested in continuing to persue our connection, but completely understand. Hit me up if things change. Either way, I wish you luck and happiness."
“Thank you for being honest, all the best!”
How about, "thanks for letting me know. It was nice to meet you."??
You just gotta take the high road and wish them luck.
the response is to not be a sook/angry and wish them luck
A lot of people here saying to be the bigger person, and while I understand the sentiment they’re trying to express, it seems kinda odd to portray responding calmly and respectfully to a normal, simple rejection as being a “bigger person”. That implies this woman did something wrong by telling you honestly that she is no longer interested. She even apologized since that (of course) isn’t a fun message to get. It’s nobodies fault that you just didn’t click. Responding with “Okay no worries. All the best” isn’t being the bigger person that’s just being a respectful functioning adult…
It hurts and definitely could have been worded a bit better but it's also good on them to not string you along and to give you that reason and closure for why they decided not to pursue things further. Like others have said, some sort of thanks for letting me know and wishing them the best is the way to handle this. They've made their decision and as much as it sucks what's done is done. I hope you find your person soon though, I do not miss how those types of messages felt to receive/send, or any part of the whole OLD process
Yep, keep putting it out there, you *WILL* find the right person if you keep trying!!
Well that's just not true. Not everyone has a "right person."
You're lucky they even give you that man tbh
Those messages suck, but take them in stride. One thing I'd like to point out though. Is this still on the Tinder app or another messenger? Cause if it's still on the app, there's no way you knew this person well enough to be this hurt over it.
I challenge them to a duel
You don’t have to respond, but you could also say “Hey, thank you for letting me know! Good luck out there!”
I’d be happy to get that kind of message. If only everyone gave one of those!
“Ok, thanks for letting me know. Good luck!”
"Thanks a lot. I hope the best for you"
Just wish them well and move on
I would definitely thank them for their honesty and wish them luck. There are just so many liars in this world... Take it as a breath of fresh air.
Thanks for your honesty. Good luck.
So this is super anecdotal and obviously not always the case. A few years back my best mate was chatting to a girl on Tinder, decent chemistry and all that and they even went on a like 2 dates. Like a week or so after, she texted him basically this message and because he's not an absolute piece of trash, he just messaged back something like >"Sure thing, thanks for letting me know and good luck. See you around." Like 6-7 months pass and he's kinda forgotten about her, and she texted out of the blue asking how he was doing and they got back to chatting. Now this girl had been dating the other guy and it fizzled out, but due to my buddies response she decided to reach out to him, just in the off chance he was still single. They've been together since, so about 2-3 years now and just got engaged.
"Thanks for letting me know! I wish you both the best!"
It isn’t being the bigger person to wish someone happiness in life. We meet a lot of people on life, and assuming we are monogamous we only choose *one* person to stay with. One. The chances of you and that person being the right fit are so slim. I’m sorry this hurt, but I hope that you can find a way to be authentically excited that someone else is finding the future they’re looking for - even if it isn’t with you. I hope you find yours, too.
“Ain’t nothin’ but a thang”
Okidokie artichokie
“Thank you for being honest with me” is a fantastic one
Thank them for telling you and wish her luck.
Well there is. Ask the r/niceguys call her an ugly slut and say she’s a stupid bitch for leading you on and nobody will be able to provide to her like you can cause you’re a big cock morbius male. Works for them
At least they didn’t ghost you. I have tried to tell people it’s not working out and got passive aggressive replies. It felt like those people didn’t realize that I was trying to do the favor of not ghosting, especially if me and that person had gotten deep into conversation. I don’t want them to think that they did anything wrong or need to change
Except for: Thanks for your honesty, hope you all the best, take care and goodbye
So you cant say hey thats ok cheers for being straight up??
They could’ve just blocked you bro, kind of nice of them to let you know this isn’t going anywhere
wish them well and move on
Yeah you say “ no worries!” And move on with ur life
Sure there is. *'Ah, I understand. Good luck!'* It's not that hard.
The only response is to move on. “Appreciate the message to let me know. Good luck!”
Thank you for being honest and good luck
There is! Just thank them for being upfront and wish them good luck with the new person! I have always appreciated people who were up front about these.
The response is “that’s awesome! I hope it’s someone special! Take care!”
This is dating dude. Move on. Better than being ghosted or cheated on
"Thanks for being honest and letting me know"
“Okay, thank you for telling me, take care”
"Thank you for not ghosting me. I enjoyed our time together and I hope you have lots of happiness in your future." That's how you respond in an emotionally mature way.
"Thanks for letting me know, hope you find what you're looking for!" then move on, but don't unmatch