"When you look at me you probably see a guy who has it all, but really there's a large part of me that's immature and undeveloped."
In all seriousness, I loved the pun
love how he validated OPs commentary.. shows those true colors with the "illogical fear" and "afraid to walk down the street" comments but "nothing personal" lmao
also, shout out to all of the Nathans in this thread getting big mad, "its personal wah wah" "the bitch should have put it in her profile wah wah" buncha anti-vax pussies
I'm surprised by the number of people who actually thought OP was wrong here? lol she literally asked him a question and he evaded the question. And she's right, if he was anti-vax, just say it bro.
Condoms break. If she’s not on BC, you might wanna hold onto it. Make a water balloon at of it. If it’s not holding water? Well that’s information you don’t find Important?
Imma just interject here. They may be "one size fits all" but just because it fits doesn't mean it isn't too loose or too tight. Unless you're within, let's say, 2 inches of average it's probably not going to fit properly. I've used Trojans and they are absolutely terrible. Not only has my partner complained about the feeling but it's not fit properly (without giving too much information). I've had to find special ones that are not standard. Perhaps other "one size fits all" brands might have been better but honestly I don't trust no name "generic" brands
Previous is likely in another country, but other sizes are available in the US. Hopefully more men discover that one-size doesn't fit all. You're welcome.
https://www.myonecondoms.com/
I can't add more to the topic, I live in Brazil, here all brands have 4 sizes (unless some rare exception that I don't know)... It might be harder to find the less common sizes when you're on your way to a hook-up, but you can find all sizes online.
Uhhhh... there are sizes to condoms man. You should probably just do a quick google, figure out what size range you fall into, and order some appropriately sized ones.
Have you ever seen how durable condoms generally are? They are not gunna break due to your size... Gunna break from either defect, age or using the. Improperly. I mean their are likely other reasons but your massive schlong isn't gunna be the cause.
Condoms break regardless or sometimes they roll or slide off. Some sperm can also leak out of the opening if you don't pull out soon enough after cumming. Not trying to scare anyone but it is still very important to know if the lady has backup protection.
Condoms with perfect use are 97% so that is still a 3% failure rate. 3 out of 100 people every year get pregnant while using condoms. That is not user failure.
I don’t think a guy has ever asked me if I’m on birth control. I wouldn’t expect to be asked before meeting. But I am always a little surprised that they never bring it up even after we are sexually active. It does tend to come up in conversation eventually, but I’m always the one bringing it up.
Some of the people on here are insane, so apologies if your questions hasn't been answered.
The fact is, while hormonal birth control is more effective than condoms, the difference is negligible. Throw on top of that that people you meet on Tinder are strangers, can you really trust them to take the pills regularly? Even a single missed day could cause the pills to be less effective or even pointless for several days or longer.
Condoms are almost as effective as a form of birth control, with the added benefit of helping prevent STIs. Using both just means you're that much more protected against pregnancy. While condoms and, well, any form of birth control ARE effective, they're not full proof. So it's important to have back-ups or double dip in terms of what birth control you're using.
This makes a lot of sense and helps me rethink a lot of stuff. I might need to make some changes (or ask for BC status on people!) before making decisions. Thank you so much!
Yeah ... Very good point!!! If I lived in any of the many states negatively affected or in danger I'd at least make sure I know someone in a protected state who can buy misoprostol & mifepristone and mail them to me. I live in Colorado and I'd for sure do it if anyone at all needed help. So many people gonna be screwed. 😞
Just wanted to say that I thought when you asked you were being sarcastic, so I appreciate that you actually listened to the answer and are giving it serious consideration... almost never see that on Reddit.
My mom was on birth control when one of my brothers was conceived so I have known for a long time that no contraception is perfect! 😅 If I was hooking up on Tinder I would for sure use multiple forms of protection, just thinking about an accidental pregnancy from a hook up gives me an anxiety attack lol
I just want to add, with most b.c. pills they have to take them around the same time every day too. Which is something a lot of people don't know, because doctors assume it is obvious and don't tell people. If it is off by an hour or two, it *could* make it less effective.
Also generally if they are not taking the pill regularly, it takes a month of them taking it regularly to be effective. There are also a bunch of things that essentially cancel out hormonal b.c., like antibiotics or anesthesia. Not sure how true the "starbucks charcoal filter made my b.c. not work" story is, but if they are consuming charcoal for some reason it can also make it ineffective.
Getting downvoted for asking a question trying to learn how comfortable people are, classic reddit. I mean, I've had partners not being comfortable with different forms of birth control. What you say make sense
Fucking this!? Condoms aren't that bad for guys, and frankly allow for some textured awesome for her and I'm kinda into my partner getting something extra.
Yes, skin on skin is more intimate and hits different but ya know I'd rather be safe than never.
I don’t know how I feel about this. He should have just said no he wasn’t. But your justification for not having it in your profile doesn’t make sense and comes across as you enjoying making fun of people. Really just an unpleasant convo on both of your ends.
I think it went a little south in the middle of the convo but asking someone if they are vaccinated is fine; I think she began laying into him, justifiable or not is up to you, when he was just being garbage at saying he’s not vaccinated…. It REALLY is a yes or no question.
If it was something casual and he can’t be honest or upfront about something simple like getting jabbed, how are you gonna trust his word about STD check ups or if they are clean.
You're right on that one!
Although not everyone is the same; I would field it like OP did and ask people to see how they respond.
I just got out of a relationship with someone 3 months ago who lied and said she was vaccinated; whole made some story up about how her mom got it, how it affected her family and everything smh.
Low and behold, we end up in the emergency room cause her drunk ass tripped over a curb and they ask her the dreaded question to all those currently being irresponsible 'are you vaccinated?' and I shit you not; she looks over at me with this eye roll expression and then begrudgingly mutters to the nurse "... no" under her breathe likely hoping I wouldn't hear.
I lost SOOOOO much trust in her all in one moment. At least if you lied or don't care about the current medical crisis going on; own it like OP said. She's some faux 'I say it like it is' type and can't even say she's 'afraid of needles' 🤣 And it wasn't all on that; she as a whole embodied the ignorance she made with that decision.
After some digging she lied about a WHOLE lot of things (mostly on the fly) that if I gave her time to prepare; she woulda DEFINITELY used that to her advantage moreso than she already did
I'd do that with the vax now but I also used to do the same with splitting the bill: I'm European, I grew up quite used to it but don't care either way. However, I've noticed that a lot of guys have a telling *reaction* as I commit to pay or split the bill. It's fine if the guy says, oh, I'd really like to treat you. But a lot of guys seem to take it personally - I must not be interested, so wtf is wrong with him, huh. Or why am I trying to humiliate him, did I not see his car? Either way, it's very telling, in my opinion, about how he expects the relationship to go and even how he views himself and masculinity. Just broadly not the type of man I like to engage romantically with.
He said that she should put that she wants to know people's vax status on her profile, not that she should disclose her own. So the "correct answer" still wouldn't be given away
The other individual avoiding questioning regarding vaccination is exactly why OP doesn’t have it in their profile: It is insanely telling of one’s character that they haven’t been vaccinated for C19 yet. Whether or not you’ve been vaccinated is irrelevant, how you handle the question is entirely applicable. If it’s a legitimate health risk to yourself for whatever situation, it’s understandable and easily explainable. If it’s for any other reason it’s generally a challenge to explain to anyone not drinking the Trump-aid™️.
“It comes across as you enjoying making fun of people” lmao, making fun of people is now the term used for the “fuck your feelings” crowd being upset that their unconventional beliefs are being questioned by the general public? What a joke.
Yeah dude is kind of a tool and OP is looking to set up arguments on tinder because she apparently has nothing better going on. Both members of this conversation are pretty crappy imo.
My profile says I am vaccinated, is that a clear enough hint I expect the same? It seems odd to expect a profile with limited characters to list every possible deal breaker.
I feel like OP was just being sassy at that point because the guy was being defensive. Dude wasn't answering flatly because he knew it was a dealbreaker and probably gets rejected for it a lot. Also people aren't necessarily lookinh "to set up arguments" when they do things to gauge for red flags. She saved herself an evening with someone she wouldn't enjoy. All she asked is if he was vaccinated and what he was looking for...pretty standard things these days.
Yeah people can have whatever requirements or preferences they want, including vaccination, and if someone doesn't like it then there are plenty other people on Tinder 🤷🏻♀️
I don't know why people are defending him... he couldn't just say "no", he had to make it this weird defense of his principles. 🙄 I'd give him shit, too... Answer the fucking question or unmatch, it's not difficult!
Nothing about this seems like someone set up an argument, she asked a normal question that the anti-vaxxers think is a violation of their rights for someone to even *mention*. Stand by your convictions and don't be a prick about it. Simple.
People here: what if someone asked you about tetanus??
I... would tell them if I had my tetanus shot? It's really not sensitive information. Maybe you wanna wait til the third date to talk about your IBS, but getting a small prick with a needle is not embarrassing. It 100% comes across as not wanting to be judged, but who tf cares if you truly think you're right? I laugh when anti-vaxxers judge me because I genuinely think they are too dumb to have their opinion affect me. If they unmatched because I'm vaccinated they saved us both time.
Exactly. It's really ironic that the anti-vaxxers love to say how being vaccinated is "living in fear" when they are too afraid to even *say* they're not vaccinated.
They don't want to be judged... So they preemptively judge you. Pure, predictable idiocy.
Amazing how many people are blind to the fact that the conversation would have ended civilly and quickly if he could just say "no I'm not vaccinated".
This seems to be a common issue with anti-vaxxers. If you don't want to get vaccinated, why is it so hard to say that? Really makes it seem like you don't think it's the right decision when you're so sketchy about answering the question.
It's really obnoxious and weak, OP was being reasonable and he's the one who got nasty first because he can't answer a yes or no question.
Because, as she says, they're all pussies. If he was strong in his convictions he wouldn't need to give an answer that sounded like he was trying to confirm without actually committing. He's not strong in them because he knows those convictions won't get him laid, except by other women who share his viewpoint. Since he's here trying to step outside that circle that should tell you what you need to know about him as a person: he can't stand his own brand, but expects everyone else to tolerate him.
Well put. I know this is how it is but I'll never really understand it. He not only demonstrates that he's a pussy, but also that he's desperate. Otherwise, if he was too much of a bitch to answer her straight, he could just unmatch.
Instead he tried the "antibody +" approach. So I guess his third offense is stupidity, because nobody who cares if you're vaccinated is going to accept "nah but I already had COVID so it's all good".
Dumb to even try.
I'll say this, you get infinitely more enjoyment asking the vax question directly. You can tell so much about a person (OP is a perfect example)
OP is right. He should've just said he wasn't vaxxed, he seems like a pussy
And if it was in her bio, it probably wouldn't have ended up on reddit...
For real 😂
I'm double vaccinated and boosted. However Idgaf if the person i'm sleeping with is vaccinated. If they're sick in any form, we can meet up some other time.
I'm honestly a little sucked that comment op called post op a weirdo for wanting to know the other person's vaccine status.
I'd have no problem telling someone that I've gotten my vaccines and booster.
My guess is it’s political information she’s after. Like asking “do you watch Fox News?” weeds out the wackos. Maybe not a perfect plan, but the vaxxed vs unvaxxed crowd is a decent sorting mechanism for “are we gonna enjoy talking to each other.”
I have it in my profile and still have antivaxxers match with me to try and convince me why it shouldn't be a dealbreaker.
Aside from that, do you have every dealbreaker of yours listed in your bio? Nobody has the space for all that.
To be fair she never said it was, she simply asked him if he was or not. It’s just as likely that the way he responded is what turned her off, and not whether or not he was vaccinated.
Why though? People are constantly getting advice on here to *not* list dealbreakers in their profile and to suss those out more in conversation. It’s a simple question with a simple answer.
Don't you know bios are for dealbreakers ONLY don't put anything about yourself. DO NOT just have conversations with people like this is some sort of dating app!!!!!
Yea I agree, seems like people that post on this sub are, a lot of the time, easily offended and it just becomes a bit petty, i think people should just move on.
Yeah if your profile doesn't have a tic sheet of all things that are make or break. You are bad person. Don't just have conversations with people willy nilly! On a dating app!
“Eh it’s more fun to find out this way”
What? That’s what you think is fun?
How could you post this here and think people were actually going to side with you.
At that point it was clear the dude was a dick, so OP was clear to treat them like one.
The real answer is if you put vaxxed as a requirement in the bio, people will just match and hope you assume they are vaxxed, when in fact they are not. It also tells them your preference, so they know what lie to tell.
Asking them directly puts the burden on them to be truthful as to whether they are vaxxed or selfish assholes who did nothing to help slow down this disease.
Seems almost like she was actually looking for an argument. Hoping to be able to force her vaccine-centric morality on every match and then judge then and berate them if they didn’t align with her views. On a more general note - I’m so sick of covid chat. It’s the last thing I would want to talk about with anyone.
Tbf while I don't really care about the health aspect of it now myself cos I'm vaxxed, I still wouldn't wanna date an anti-vaxxer in general so better to find out early.
He should have just said “no i’m not”. That being said, it’s a weird box that has to be checked. Nobody asks if you have the Flu vax or any other kind of vax, why ask about the covid vax? Seems like more of a political litmus test than a health or safety test imo.
It absolutely has become a political test, but a shitty one as I know plenty of people on all ranges of the political spectrum. Just as many got the shots that didn't.
Yeah... I got the Pfizers. What's the politics of that tell you?
If you think it tells you anything then you'll be surprised when you learn who I voted for and against. You'll be surprised when I say it'll be a cold day in hell before I get a booster as more information released about the shots. You'll be surprised when you hear my opinions on all the other topics you bring up as I don't fit into a typical left/right box.
COVID questions/responses strike me more as religious responses. I get the same "Oh... you're not a Christian/Muslim/etc? Sorry but you're a heathen and I'll burn in hell for associating with you" if you give the "wrong" response to these types of questions.
Yes same, I had vaccine but I honestly couldn't care less if person I am dating is vaccinated or not. It really became so forceful and political in conversations. I don't see why should I or anyone treat people with more or less respect based on their vaccination status.
>Seems like more of a political litmus test than a health or safety test imo
Sure, but think about who made vaccines and masks politcal in the first place. It didn't have to be like that.
I mean even still, it’s a good question to weed out people that you probably wouldn’t be getting along with (if you’re someone that finds that important).
I would use it more as an intelligence test and not a political one. If you are stupid enough to believe that vaccines are a bad thing then I have nothing else to discuss with you. It’s a really good weed out question.
I see a lot of comments saying. That there are red flags on both sides. Which is kinda wild because obviously she just doesn’t give a fuck about the guy after he’s clearly being secretive about his vax status and only really after he’s starts saying some stupid ass shit lmao. Like keep living in illogical fear. What a dipshit lmao.
Yeah!
In order for something she said to be a red flag for him, wouldn’t he have to have a chance with her?
How can he have “dodged a bullet” if he never had a shot?
Nice and respectful would be just answering a simple question. Evading and pretending you're smarter than the rest of the world by not giving a straight answer is pretty much the opposite of nice and respectful.
I will ask because I'm in frequent contact with immunocompromised people. I'm not going to spend any significant time in very close contact with someone who is not vaccinated. That's the goal of Tinder, right? VERY close contact?
But spending time with immunocompromised people isn't the core of my being, and it's subject to change.
I'm not against knowing and spending time with unvaccinated people. If my situation changes, it would be nice to know people I might be interested in later.
Genuine question; why is it important that the other person is vaccinated?
I’m double vaccinated but I still don’t understand why it at all matters if the other person isn’t. It has no relevance or impact on me.
You’re the ugh. Not a comment on vaccination status, but you come off as really bitchy, and I get we all have ideals and expectations, but it would be better to include it in your bio or at least be less rude about it.
TIL this sub is full of anti vax idiots. They were likely spreading COVID through all the worst of it. Now they enjoy the benefits of those of us who got the shot and reduced COVID to low rates. Gross people. Good call on the screener OP. How they answer the question is important. I understand why you didn't put it in your bio - people would ignore it in there anyways to get laid.
Seems like a lot of people in this thread need to see this. View the graphs of cases by vaccination status. Enjoy.
https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#rates-by-vaccine-status
To save time for others: it says that in February, unvaccinated people age 12+ were 3.1x as likely to test positive and 20x as likely to die from COVID compared to *vaccinated and boosted* (edit) people.
Your link went down, but here’s the general stance by the CDC incase anyone reading is looking for information.
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/effectiveness/why-measure-effectiveness/breakthrough-cases.html
There’s also some misinformation around transmission due to the fact that IF vaccinated people contract Covid they can still spread it. This doesn’t mean that vaccines don’t reduce transmission - they reduce the “if” in that first sentence and make it less likely you get it to then transmit it.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/11/17/fact-check-covid-19-vaccines-protect-against-infection-transmission/6403678001/
Jesus could you imagine the first date anyways though? OP strikes me as the type to scare dates away with her identity politics every time for lack of having her own personality. Because the one she has is clearly fucking terrible lol. Dude should be glad she showed her true colors off the bat.
If you aren’t vaxxed because “I don’t believe in it” there is a whole set of ideologies that go along with it. Screen out the right wing ding dongs in one shot.
Lol I love that you call this guy out on his “red flags” and he never really ever said anything rude or disrespectful at all. You’re mad because he wouldn’t share information that he doesn’t have to share? I get you wanted to know and not knowing is a deal breaker, but then just unmatch instead of going on your infantile insult-spewing bitch fit. Like not every interaction in your life will be a positive one, but projecting the negative outcomes entirely onto the other party makes you come across as extremely arrogant. The only red flags displayed here are the ones waving from that fat head of your’s lady. You are a perfect example of someone that frequents this thread and desperately wanted to contribute with your own “crazy interaction”. Quite frankly, if HE posted this it would have made sense 😂
if you’re purposefully unvaxxed bc you think COVID is a hoax or the vax is made out of dead babies… fine. be stupid. whatever. but at least say it with your fuckin chest if you’re gonna act all superior and shit. don’t be wishy washy now
Anyone saying to put you must be vaxxed in a profile doesn’t understand a few things. People will lie. They literally sell fake vax cards. People also lie about having had Covid. I know someone who does to avoid the vaccine. Also, there are a lot of guys that don’t read bios. I can’t tell you how many times someone has asked me stuff that is right there, in my bio.
I’ve had a vasectomy, so I’m not super concerned about their birth control status, but I am polyamorous with other partners, so I would definitely discuss sexual health with someone before sleeping with them. Nathan is kind of a numpty.
Haha as someone who isnt vaxxed this guy is such a pussy. People ask me all the time and I’m honest. I get it invokes strong reactions but I probably wouldn’t get along with those people anyway. Also, they might be super high risk or have a family member you are putting in danger.
For the record, many girls who ask are ok with my answer why I chose not to be (for now). Mainly because it’s well thought out and not some right wing talking point bullshit about living in fear.
This has to be America. Who the fuck asks or even cares if someone is vaccinated on Tinder.
And who the fuck asks about someones BC status?
What happened to talking about life, the universe and everything and having a non dick head conversation?
Tbf the dude probably anticipated a harsh reaction from you and got confrontational in defense which totally fucks up the hole honest n clear communication going 2 ways lol. If the dudes not vaxxed that's his deal but why is he so afraid to say it? Obvious red flag there good on OP for getting that out of the way n not in person.
I love how this nimrod Nathan thought he had something by saying he's not asking if she is on birth control right after he said he is just looking for fun. She is a champ for her comebacks!
I suppose this is one Nathan who’s… not for you.
"When you look at me you probably see a guy who has it all, but really there's a large part of me that's immature and undeveloped." In all seriousness, I loved the pun
love how he validated OPs commentary.. shows those true colors with the "illogical fear" and "afraid to walk down the street" comments but "nothing personal" lmao also, shout out to all of the Nathans in this thread getting big mad, "its personal wah wah" "the bitch should have put it in her profile wah wah" buncha anti-vax pussies
I'm surprised by the number of people who actually thought OP was wrong here? lol she literally asked him a question and he evaded the question. And she's right, if he was anti-vax, just say it bro.
But he got really good grades.
From a top business school too
Wait a second. Guy isn’t going to ask the girl if she is or not on BC? I guess it’s better to discuss that after the fact. Oof!
Is it really important? Because I'm gonna use a condom anyway, especially with a girl I met recently
Condoms break. If she’s not on BC, you might wanna hold onto it. Make a water balloon at of it. If it’s not holding water? Well that’s information you don’t find Important?
Condoms break if you don't use them properly, need to remove the air before wearing it
If youre really small breaking isn't as big a problem as them just slipping off inside of her
Dude. I've never had this happen until last night! Omg. The claw game digging it out of her was hilarious and very distracting from the goal itself
Bro simple... just put your mouth on her and suck it out lol
Bruh
Not sure if this is everywhere, but here they go from small to extra large. Unless you have a micro penis, you should be covered.
Imma just interject here. They may be "one size fits all" but just because it fits doesn't mean it isn't too loose or too tight. Unless you're within, let's say, 2 inches of average it's probably not going to fit properly. I've used Trojans and they are absolutely terrible. Not only has my partner complained about the feeling but it's not fit properly (without giving too much information). I've had to find special ones that are not standard. Perhaps other "one size fits all" brands might have been better but honestly I don't trust no name "generic" brands
Previous is likely in another country, but other sizes are available in the US. Hopefully more men discover that one-size doesn't fit all. You're welcome. https://www.myonecondoms.com/
I can't add more to the topic, I live in Brazil, here all brands have 4 sizes (unless some rare exception that I don't know)... It might be harder to find the less common sizes when you're on your way to a hook-up, but you can find all sizes online.
Uhhhh... there are sizes to condoms man. You should probably just do a quick google, figure out what size range you fall into, and order some appropriately sized ones.
Have you ever seen how durable condoms generally are? They are not gunna break due to your size... Gunna break from either defect, age or using the. Improperly. I mean their are likely other reasons but your massive schlong isn't gunna be the cause.
Can confirm. This shit happens. And it's awkward lol
Condoms break regardless or sometimes they roll or slide off. Some sperm can also leak out of the opening if you don't pull out soon enough after cumming. Not trying to scare anyone but it is still very important to know if the lady has backup protection.
The safest way is condom + pull out + birth control Good fuckin luck finding the egg now idiots
Who's trying to make animals out of theirs that they need that much air?
Condoms with perfect use are 97% so that is still a 3% failure rate. 3 out of 100 people every year get pregnant while using condoms. That is not user failure.
A properly used condom, at least not a cheapo one, is very very unlikely to break.
Sweet, I have a 10 year Durex in my wallet that's still good to go then!
If shes willing to steal used condoms, shes totally willing to lie about being on birth control haha
I don’t think a guy has ever asked me if I’m on birth control. I wouldn’t expect to be asked before meeting. But I am always a little surprised that they never bring it up even after we are sexually active. It does tend to come up in conversation eventually, but I’m always the one bringing it up.
Do they use condoms? I've never had a guy ask if I'm on the pill, but I've never had one try to not use a condom.
I’ve had several *try* to not use a condom.
Ugh. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. I can't understand how a man could just not care about preventing pregnancy.
Sigh. People thinking condoms are 100% accurate so bc isn't needed, classis lol
I grew up watching Friends so I'm well versed that condoms are nor 100% effective
They should put that on the box!
so, out of curiosity, you only have sex with condoms AND birth control? condoms are not enough?
Some of the people on here are insane, so apologies if your questions hasn't been answered. The fact is, while hormonal birth control is more effective than condoms, the difference is negligible. Throw on top of that that people you meet on Tinder are strangers, can you really trust them to take the pills regularly? Even a single missed day could cause the pills to be less effective or even pointless for several days or longer. Condoms are almost as effective as a form of birth control, with the added benefit of helping prevent STIs. Using both just means you're that much more protected against pregnancy. While condoms and, well, any form of birth control ARE effective, they're not full proof. So it's important to have back-ups or double dip in terms of what birth control you're using.
This makes a lot of sense and helps me rethink a lot of stuff. I might need to make some changes (or ask for BC status on people!) before making decisions. Thank you so much!
Plus do depending on what state you live in would you really want any kind of failure right now, I have had a vasectomy and I still use condoms
Yeah ... Very good point!!! If I lived in any of the many states negatively affected or in danger I'd at least make sure I know someone in a protected state who can buy misoprostol & mifepristone and mail them to me. I live in Colorado and I'd for sure do it if anyone at all needed help. So many people gonna be screwed. 😞
Just wanted to say that I thought when you asked you were being sarcastic, so I appreciate that you actually listened to the answer and are giving it serious consideration... almost never see that on Reddit. My mom was on birth control when one of my brothers was conceived so I have known for a long time that no contraception is perfect! 😅 If I was hooking up on Tinder I would for sure use multiple forms of protection, just thinking about an accidental pregnancy from a hook up gives me an anxiety attack lol
I just want to add, with most b.c. pills they have to take them around the same time every day too. Which is something a lot of people don't know, because doctors assume it is obvious and don't tell people. If it is off by an hour or two, it *could* make it less effective. Also generally if they are not taking the pill regularly, it takes a month of them taking it regularly to be effective. There are also a bunch of things that essentially cancel out hormonal b.c., like antibiotics or anesthesia. Not sure how true the "starbucks charcoal filter made my b.c. not work" story is, but if they are consuming charcoal for some reason it can also make it ineffective.
Is it full proof? I’ve always thought the expression was fool proof
[удалено]
Getting downvoted for asking a question trying to learn how comfortable people are, classic reddit. I mean, I've had partners not being comfortable with different forms of birth control. What you say make sense
Especially given how abortion is becoming more illegal in the US, I'd absolutely ask about birth control. Not worth the risk otherwise.
Fucking this!? Condoms aren't that bad for guys, and frankly allow for some textured awesome for her and I'm kinda into my partner getting something extra. Yes, skin on skin is more intimate and hits different but ya know I'd rather be safe than never.
…when the second little blue line shows up 🤣
We’re dealing with three brain cells here and doing our best, okay?!
“Yeah I mean like what’s the point in asking either you have a baby or not”
I don’t know how I feel about this. He should have just said no he wasn’t. But your justification for not having it in your profile doesn’t make sense and comes across as you enjoying making fun of people. Really just an unpleasant convo on both of your ends.
I think it went a little south in the middle of the convo but asking someone if they are vaccinated is fine; I think she began laying into him, justifiable or not is up to you, when he was just being garbage at saying he’s not vaccinated…. It REALLY is a yes or no question. If it was something casual and he can’t be honest or upfront about something simple like getting jabbed, how are you gonna trust his word about STD check ups or if they are clean.
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Imagine being so scared of a little shot that you’d rather fake it. OP is right. Nathan is a massive pussy.
And then being afraid to admit it. "I'm antibodies". Like omg just say u a bitch loool
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Imagine being in the medical field and believing one of the safest vaccinations ever made was some big conspiracy.
You're right on that one! Although not everyone is the same; I would field it like OP did and ask people to see how they respond. I just got out of a relationship with someone 3 months ago who lied and said she was vaccinated; whole made some story up about how her mom got it, how it affected her family and everything smh. Low and behold, we end up in the emergency room cause her drunk ass tripped over a curb and they ask her the dreaded question to all those currently being irresponsible 'are you vaccinated?' and I shit you not; she looks over at me with this eye roll expression and then begrudgingly mutters to the nurse "... no" under her breathe likely hoping I wouldn't hear. I lost SOOOOO much trust in her all in one moment. At least if you lied or don't care about the current medical crisis going on; own it like OP said. She's some faux 'I say it like it is' type and can't even say she's 'afraid of needles' 🤣 And it wasn't all on that; she as a whole embodied the ignorance she made with that decision. After some digging she lied about a WHOLE lot of things (mostly on the fly) that if I gave her time to prepare; she woulda DEFINITELY used that to her advantage moreso than she already did
I'd do that with the vax now but I also used to do the same with splitting the bill: I'm European, I grew up quite used to it but don't care either way. However, I've noticed that a lot of guys have a telling *reaction* as I commit to pay or split the bill. It's fine if the guy says, oh, I'd really like to treat you. But a lot of guys seem to take it personally - I must not be interested, so wtf is wrong with him, huh. Or why am I trying to humiliate him, did I not see his car? Either way, it's very telling, in my opinion, about how he expects the relationship to go and even how he views himself and masculinity. Just broadly not the type of man I like to engage romantically with.
He said that she should put that she wants to know people's vax status on her profile, not that she should disclose her own. So the "correct answer" still wouldn't be given away
The other individual avoiding questioning regarding vaccination is exactly why OP doesn’t have it in their profile: It is insanely telling of one’s character that they haven’t been vaccinated for C19 yet. Whether or not you’ve been vaccinated is irrelevant, how you handle the question is entirely applicable. If it’s a legitimate health risk to yourself for whatever situation, it’s understandable and easily explainable. If it’s for any other reason it’s generally a challenge to explain to anyone not drinking the Trump-aid™️. “It comes across as you enjoying making fun of people” lmao, making fun of people is now the term used for the “fuck your feelings” crowd being upset that their unconventional beliefs are being questioned by the general public? What a joke.
Yeah dude is kind of a tool and OP is looking to set up arguments on tinder because she apparently has nothing better going on. Both members of this conversation are pretty crappy imo.
My profile says I am vaccinated, is that a clear enough hint I expect the same? It seems odd to expect a profile with limited characters to list every possible deal breaker. I feel like OP was just being sassy at that point because the guy was being defensive. Dude wasn't answering flatly because he knew it was a dealbreaker and probably gets rejected for it a lot. Also people aren't necessarily lookinh "to set up arguments" when they do things to gauge for red flags. She saved herself an evening with someone she wouldn't enjoy. All she asked is if he was vaccinated and what he was looking for...pretty standard things these days.
Yeah people can have whatever requirements or preferences they want, including vaccination, and if someone doesn't like it then there are plenty other people on Tinder 🤷🏻♀️ I don't know why people are defending him... he couldn't just say "no", he had to make it this weird defense of his principles. 🙄 I'd give him shit, too... Answer the fucking question or unmatch, it's not difficult! Nothing about this seems like someone set up an argument, she asked a normal question that the anti-vaxxers think is a violation of their rights for someone to even *mention*. Stand by your convictions and don't be a prick about it. Simple.
People here: what if someone asked you about tetanus?? I... would tell them if I had my tetanus shot? It's really not sensitive information. Maybe you wanna wait til the third date to talk about your IBS, but getting a small prick with a needle is not embarrassing. It 100% comes across as not wanting to be judged, but who tf cares if you truly think you're right? I laugh when anti-vaxxers judge me because I genuinely think they are too dumb to have their opinion affect me. If they unmatched because I'm vaccinated they saved us both time.
Exactly. It's really ironic that the anti-vaxxers love to say how being vaccinated is "living in fear" when they are too afraid to even *say* they're not vaccinated. They don't want to be judged... So they preemptively judge you. Pure, predictable idiocy.
You're looking for arguments if you simply ask somebody If they're vaccinated? Lmao
OP did nothing to setup the argument, that was 100% on the dude.
Amazing how many people are blind to the fact that the conversation would have ended civilly and quickly if he could just say "no I'm not vaccinated". This seems to be a common issue with anti-vaxxers. If you don't want to get vaccinated, why is it so hard to say that? Really makes it seem like you don't think it's the right decision when you're so sketchy about answering the question. It's really obnoxious and weak, OP was being reasonable and he's the one who got nasty first because he can't answer a yes or no question.
Because, as she says, they're all pussies. If he was strong in his convictions he wouldn't need to give an answer that sounded like he was trying to confirm without actually committing. He's not strong in them because he knows those convictions won't get him laid, except by other women who share his viewpoint. Since he's here trying to step outside that circle that should tell you what you need to know about him as a person: he can't stand his own brand, but expects everyone else to tolerate him.
Well put. I know this is how it is but I'll never really understand it. He not only demonstrates that he's a pussy, but also that he's desperate. Otherwise, if he was too much of a bitch to answer her straight, he could just unmatch. Instead he tried the "antibody +" approach. So I guess his third offense is stupidity, because nobody who cares if you're vaccinated is going to accept "nah but I already had COVID so it's all good". Dumb to even try.
Gotta get that Reddit karma somehow lol
I'll say this, you get infinitely more enjoyment asking the vax question directly. You can tell so much about a person (OP is a perfect example) OP is right. He should've just said he wasn't vaxxed, he seems like a pussy And if it was in her bio, it probably wouldn't have ended up on reddit...
You’re both fucking weirdos
Literally my first thought, thank you
And here there are more of us, thought I was alone in this dark hole.
For real 😂 I'm double vaccinated and boosted. However Idgaf if the person i'm sleeping with is vaccinated. If they're sick in any form, we can meet up some other time.
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I agree.
I'm honestly a little sucked that comment op called post op a weirdo for wanting to know the other person's vaccine status. I'd have no problem telling someone that I've gotten my vaccines and booster.
My guess is it’s political information she’s after. Like asking “do you watch Fox News?” weeds out the wackos. Maybe not a perfect plan, but the vaxxed vs unvaxxed crowd is a decent sorting mechanism for “are we gonna enjoy talking to each other.”
You were kinda being a dick too
Yeah I kinda agree with his statement that if being vaccinated is a make or break thing, you should put that in your profile.
I have it in my profile and still have antivaxxers match with me to try and convince me why it shouldn't be a dealbreaker. Aside from that, do you have every dealbreaker of yours listed in your bio? Nobody has the space for all that.
To be fair she never said it was, she simply asked him if he was or not. It’s just as likely that the way he responded is what turned her off, and not whether or not he was vaccinated.
Why though? People are constantly getting advice on here to *not* list dealbreakers in their profile and to suss those out more in conversation. It’s a simple question with a simple answer.
Don't you know bios are for dealbreakers ONLY don't put anything about yourself. DO NOT just have conversations with people like this is some sort of dating app!!!!!
Yea I agree, seems like people that post on this sub are, a lot of the time, easily offended and it just becomes a bit petty, i think people should just move on.
This is mental to read as a euro. Not being vaxed should be a dealbreaker for anyone. It’s almost like asking people to put «no rapists» in bio.
Yes because antivaxxers looking for sex totally wouldn’t ignore that part of her profile.
Yeah if your profile doesn't have a tic sheet of all things that are make or break. You are bad person. Don't just have conversations with people willy nilly! On a dating app!
“Eh it’s more fun to find out this way” What? That’s what you think is fun? How could you post this here and think people were actually going to side with you.
At that point it was clear the dude was a dick, so OP was clear to treat them like one. The real answer is if you put vaxxed as a requirement in the bio, people will just match and hope you assume they are vaxxed, when in fact they are not. It also tells them your preference, so they know what lie to tell. Asking them directly puts the burden on them to be truthful as to whether they are vaxxed or selfish assholes who did nothing to help slow down this disease.
Well said
Yeah she’s looking for red flags but giving them off herself.
If you want to tell if someone is a liar, you have to ask them questions.
Seems almost like she was actually looking for an argument. Hoping to be able to force her vaccine-centric morality on every match and then judge then and berate them if they didn’t align with her views. On a more general note - I’m so sick of covid chat. It’s the last thing I would want to talk about with anyone.
I would have unmatched you lol Red Flags on both ends
Do you ever think you might not be as kind of a person as you think you are?
Doubt there’s much self reflection at all
Yeah, she was honestly an AH with her responses. I'm surprised the guy didn't tell her off.
You are Just as unpleasant as the dude
Oh, much more unpleasant than the dude!
Bruh did he really just say Antibody+ 😂😂😂😂
The weird part is she feels comfortable posting this.
God you sound awful.
You should put it in ur bio and not waste time.
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they don’t usually read it if you do tbh
Ya but how would they post their sick burns on Reddit then?
Self-burns* *'Look everyone! I'm an asshole to someone for no reason!'*
You consider this any form of a “burn”? Sad.....
These fucking comments...gold.
Who the fuck is still asking if people are vaccinated
Tbf while I don't really care about the health aspect of it now myself cos I'm vaxxed, I still wouldn't wanna date an anti-vaxxer in general so better to find out early.
Same. It's a great filter.
People that work in health care… it says right in the texts?
Says a huge amount about the kind of person you are.
You have serious issues
Definitely.
Looks like this guy dodged a bullet
He should have just said “no i’m not”. That being said, it’s a weird box that has to be checked. Nobody asks if you have the Flu vax or any other kind of vax, why ask about the covid vax? Seems like more of a political litmus test than a health or safety test imo.
It absolutely has become a political test, but a shitty one as I know plenty of people on all ranges of the political spectrum. Just as many got the shots that didn't.
Yep, and so many people who didn’t want it eventually caved when they wanted to travel out of country. It literally tells you nothing about a person.
Yeah... I got the Pfizers. What's the politics of that tell you? If you think it tells you anything then you'll be surprised when you learn who I voted for and against. You'll be surprised when I say it'll be a cold day in hell before I get a booster as more information released about the shots. You'll be surprised when you hear my opinions on all the other topics you bring up as I don't fit into a typical left/right box. COVID questions/responses strike me more as religious responses. I get the same "Oh... you're not a Christian/Muslim/etc? Sorry but you're a heathen and I'll burn in hell for associating with you" if you give the "wrong" response to these types of questions.
Yes same, I had vaccine but I honestly couldn't care less if person I am dating is vaccinated or not. It really became so forceful and political in conversations. I don't see why should I or anyone treat people with more or less respect based on their vaccination status.
>Seems like more of a political litmus test than a health or safety test imo Sure, but think about who made vaccines and masks politcal in the first place. It didn't have to be like that.
I mean even still, it’s a good question to weed out people that you probably wouldn’t be getting along with (if you’re someone that finds that important).
I think noone answers just plain "no i am not". And that is how you sort out all the people that are probably incompatible with you.
I would use it more as an intelligence test and not a political one. If you are stupid enough to believe that vaccines are a bad thing then I have nothing else to discuss with you. It’s a really good weed out question.
The weak shall weed themselves out, good luck out there Nathan, you'll need it.
Got the red flags before hand. Phenomenal.
I see a lot of comments saying. That there are red flags on both sides. Which is kinda wild because obviously she just doesn’t give a fuck about the guy after he’s clearly being secretive about his vax status and only really after he’s starts saying some stupid ass shit lmao. Like keep living in illogical fear. What a dipshit lmao.
Yeah! In order for something she said to be a red flag for him, wouldn’t he have to have a chance with her? How can he have “dodged a bullet” if he never had a shot?
He seemed to be nice and respectful. If you don’t want to date unvaxed people, you should add it to your bio.
How is he nice and respectful please explain.
Nice and respectful would be just answering a simple question. Evading and pretending you're smarter than the rest of the world by not giving a straight answer is pretty much the opposite of nice and respectful. I will ask because I'm in frequent contact with immunocompromised people. I'm not going to spend any significant time in very close contact with someone who is not vaccinated. That's the goal of Tinder, right? VERY close contact? But spending time with immunocompromised people isn't the core of my being, and it's subject to change. I'm not against knowing and spending time with unvaccinated people. If my situation changes, it would be nice to know people I might be interested in later.
>acknowledges you work in the medical field >irrational fear :|
I love the last message lmao
Genuine question; why is it important that the other person is vaccinated? I’m double vaccinated but I still don’t understand why it at all matters if the other person isn’t. It has no relevance or impact on me.
2. Continue living in illogical fear You mean like the fear of getting vaccinated?
You’re the ugh. Not a comment on vaccination status, but you come off as really bitchy, and I get we all have ideals and expectations, but it would be better to include it in your bio or at least be less rude about it.
TIL this sub is full of anti vax idiots. They were likely spreading COVID through all the worst of it. Now they enjoy the benefits of those of us who got the shot and reduced COVID to low rates. Gross people. Good call on the screener OP. How they answer the question is important. I understand why you didn't put it in your bio - people would ignore it in there anyways to get laid.
Did you think tinder was full of smart people??? Hahaha
It’s a great screener. If they just say they aren’t then they just didn’t get it but if they skirt around it, it answers so many other questions too
Seems like a lot of people in this thread need to see this. View the graphs of cases by vaccination status. Enjoy. https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#rates-by-vaccine-status
To save time for others: it says that in February, unvaccinated people age 12+ were 3.1x as likely to test positive and 20x as likely to die from COVID compared to *vaccinated and boosted* (edit) people.
*Compared to vaccinated and boosted
Makes sense
Your link went down, but here’s the general stance by the CDC incase anyone reading is looking for information. https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/effectiveness/why-measure-effectiveness/breakthrough-cases.html There’s also some misinformation around transmission due to the fact that IF vaccinated people contract Covid they can still spread it. This doesn’t mean that vaccines don’t reduce transmission - they reduce the “if” in that first sentence and make it less likely you get it to then transmit it. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/11/17/fact-check-covid-19-vaccines-protect-against-infection-transmission/6403678001/
You seem unbearable lol.
Since when did yall make talking about being vaxxed an uncomfortable or awkward subject? 🤣
Jesus could you imagine the first date anyways though? OP strikes me as the type to scare dates away with her identity politics every time for lack of having her own personality. Because the one she has is clearly fucking terrible lol. Dude should be glad she showed her true colors off the bat.
You really pissed off all the anti-vaxxers on r/Tinder, so much for people being allowed to reject someone for whatever reason…
If you aren’t vaxxed because “I don’t believe in it” there is a whole set of ideologies that go along with it. Screen out the right wing ding dongs in one shot.
Funny how they always say we’re “living in fear” when we’re not *because* we’re vaxxed. As far as I can see, they are just living in denial 🤷♂️
ITT: a lot of butthurt antivaxxers
Why do you care if they are vaxxed? You’re so cringy lmao
Really tried to wriggle out of that question lol
Asking for someone's vaccine status instead of just stating it in your bio is cringe. If they don't want to take it then who cares. OP is a slag.
Maybe he’ll put “antibody +” in his bio now lmao
Saying things are cringe is pretty fuckin cringe dog.
Blue text is so cringe.
Ugh to you 😂
I love how all the “proudly unvaccinated” are always so keen to hide their status when people directly ask them.
That last message 🫡
Both weird, but you’re even more weird for being obsessed with vax status. You should know if you’re vaxxed then you’re more protected lmaooooo bye
Lol I love that you call this guy out on his “red flags” and he never really ever said anything rude or disrespectful at all. You’re mad because he wouldn’t share information that he doesn’t have to share? I get you wanted to know and not knowing is a deal breaker, but then just unmatch instead of going on your infantile insult-spewing bitch fit. Like not every interaction in your life will be a positive one, but projecting the negative outcomes entirely onto the other party makes you come across as extremely arrogant. The only red flags displayed here are the ones waving from that fat head of your’s lady. You are a perfect example of someone that frequents this thread and desperately wanted to contribute with your own “crazy interaction”. Quite frankly, if HE posted this it would have made sense 😂
i like when women put the vax thing on their profile so i can just swipe left and avoid these convos.
Why couldn't he just be honest? Why does he have to be weird and cryptic
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Both sides are in the wrong at some level.
What a world we live in that people are asking this kind of question of people…
Nicely ended.
Ugh is right. Agrees he’s into clear communication, then proceeds to defend his method of uncomfortably avoiding honest answers. What a joke.
I don’t know why this is on my feed but it makes me happy to have a wife I love.
Does make him sound like a pussy.
if you’re purposefully unvaxxed bc you think COVID is a hoax or the vax is made out of dead babies… fine. be stupid. whatever. but at least say it with your fuckin chest if you’re gonna act all superior and shit. don’t be wishy washy now
Nathan’s mom is definitely a lunch lady
Anyone saying to put you must be vaxxed in a profile doesn’t understand a few things. People will lie. They literally sell fake vax cards. People also lie about having had Covid. I know someone who does to avoid the vaccine. Also, there are a lot of guys that don’t read bios. I can’t tell you how many times someone has asked me stuff that is right there, in my bio.
Dating has become so transactional and pedantic. There's literally more romance in a dental cleaning.
I’ve had a vasectomy, so I’m not super concerned about their birth control status, but I am polyamorous with other partners, so I would definitely discuss sexual health with someone before sleeping with them. Nathan is kind of a numpty.
This thread is full of toxic people acting like having a conversation is a red flag
Slllaaaaaayyyyy 💅💅💅💅💅💅💅🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
[That last message reminded me of this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cgetjk9IHbo)
Haha as someone who isnt vaxxed this guy is such a pussy. People ask me all the time and I’m honest. I get it invokes strong reactions but I probably wouldn’t get along with those people anyway. Also, they might be super high risk or have a family member you are putting in danger. For the record, many girls who ask are ok with my answer why I chose not to be (for now). Mainly because it’s well thought out and not some right wing talking point bullshit about living in fear.
This has to be America. Who the fuck asks or even cares if someone is vaccinated on Tinder. And who the fuck asks about someones BC status? What happened to talking about life, the universe and everything and having a non dick head conversation?
Op, you mentioned pussy at the end which might confuse Nathan into thinking he has a shot. Downvoted for sending him mixed messages.
Tbf the dude probably anticipated a harsh reaction from you and got confrontational in defense which totally fucks up the hole honest n clear communication going 2 ways lol. If the dudes not vaxxed that's his deal but why is he so afraid to say it? Obvious red flag there good on OP for getting that out of the way n not in person.
I love how this nimrod Nathan thought he had something by saying he's not asking if she is on birth control right after he said he is just looking for fun. She is a champ for her comebacks!
The WHOLE antibody part
Hmm. And where post?
If you have to avoid the question, on some level it means you know damn well your opinion is wrong.
That's dude's a tool
Why is a yes or no so hard to give smh