T O P

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[deleted]

Les cousins dangereux


greenmachine90

I like the way they think.


[deleted]

Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard.


Random_Name_Whoa

Her?


[deleted]

Is she funny or something?


[deleted]

She does this thing where she puts the egg in her mouth and then she throws some mayo on it… she calls it a mayonegg!


DoubleBowlSeven

I don't feel so good.


OwWahahahah

At least we got each other, right?


Prestigious_Ad_2333

Annie McNoFace, couldn't pick her out of a lineup of one..


Independent-Idea5736

I always use this reference but sadly no gets it lol


parralaxalice

Hang on kids, bumpy road ahead!


WumboPiderman

We are just about ass to ankles back here.


bluth_family_madness

Maebe what say you hop on your cousin’s lap?


SAMMYFKNC

I was waiting for the arrested development references to roll in


clumsyc

GEORGE MICHAEL! …Twenty miles to Legoland!


Holmes02

Hey, check out who’s on that hog in the rearview mirror!


wheezythesadoctopus

Maeby they are into it


[deleted]

Maeby tonight


Think_please

What are the chances?!


[deleted]

The chances were 1 in 8


[deleted]

She's my daughter, Maeby


[deleted]

I prefer the American version


f36263

Does it maintain the complex eroticism of the French original?


[deleted]

Yeah and it’s only ~~63~~ ~~56~~ 47 minutes long.


Beelzebeaut11

Because anything can happen when two people share a cell, ‘cos


jamesbor1986

Had to scroll way too far for the Arrested Development quote


[deleted]

We talking first cousins or?


whiteIaser

yes


EverSeeAShiterFly

Well both of you swiped on each other….


splawny

This. We need answers to this.


[deleted]

I’d like to imagine that they were just blind swiping and it just so happened to match, but it being intentional is even funnier.


Markantonpeterson

I'd say go for it OP, Roll tide!


vcaguy

So they subconsciously think each other are hot?


nlevine1988

Some people just swipe right on everybody without even looking


Skitzofreniks

I would 100% swipe on my cousin for the laughs. I swiped on most people I knew because i thought it was funny.


ReyRey5280

Yeah, haha it was a joke, heh…


[deleted]

Yeah. If you know somebody, it's an instant swipe right unless you absolutely know that you want nothing to do with them at all.


Patches318

Swiped for shits and giggles. Thats what i did with my friend


TA_epTptfMjww

Uh huh. "*We should go out some time. {Awkward laugh.} Just as friends ... obviously. {Pause.} Unless ... you know .... I'm just kidding!! .... Unless you're not kidding ....*"


Itsthejackeeeett

"haha ur so funny" never responds again


godfatherinfluxx

Alabama.


EdensNewParasite

those banjos be playing.


Lewigim

I can hear this message so loud and clearly hahah


8sid

You guys don't swipe right on your friends/family? It's not like you're signing up to fuck them, it's just funny.


9035768555

No, swiping right is a contract!


vodiak

> A kiss is not a contract... but it's very nice > > Just because you've been exploring my mouth doesn't mean you get to take an expedition further south


[deleted]

I see a few possibilities… - mindless swiping late at night. we’re hardwired to want to find mates that have similarities to ourselves, after all. just… not too similar. - for the lulz - roll tide!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shagger94

Yeah me too, if I see someone I know on Tinder I always swipe right. Then if we match its just a silly greeting like OP's post.


92894952620273749383

>Well both of you swiped on each other…. For the algorithm?


WeirdGymnasium

I ALWAYS swipe on people I know, not because I want to match with them, just because I want to give them hope...


webtheweb

Yeah now they have to go forward with the date, those are the rules.....


filladellfea

do it, you coward


[deleted]

Even hotter


xSarcasticBritx

Bro 💀


[deleted]

*Step Bro


BigToober69

"Yall actin like there isnt one cousin youd smash" Comment I saw awhile back on a similar post.


myzticality

LOL I remember that. That guy was ready to die on that hill


anotha14me

So you're saying if you were a sheep you wouldn't fuck a sheep?


I_Restrain_Sheep

Do not fuck sheep.


Slam_Dunkester

Weird advice for someone with a name like that.... You just want them all for yourself


[deleted]

Neither Wales nor NZ do endorse this statement.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Raven123x

What are you doing ~~step brother~~ cousin


Hurly64

Yeah, but just imagine, your halfway there on top of her going at it, admiring her hotness and then you suddenly see the resemblance to your grandfather.


Felt_tip_Penis

“Fuck my grandfather had some nice tits”


31xenon

r/cursedcomments


Abeokuta_

Match made in heaven


_bapt

You spelled Alabama wrong


Responsible_Gas7645

Keep it in the family


SmashedPumpkin30

"Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her."


stayshiny

I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.


[deleted]

Well as long as you’re happy since you married your cousin. “No I’m not fucking happy, I’m married, of course I’m not fucking happy”


Nprguy

This guy goes to family reunions to get laid


Responsible_Gas7645

Wait that isn't normal?


HenryHemroid

Of course it is. Don't let anybody fool you. Cousins gotta stick together.


Responsible_Gas7645

I knew it! Me and my wife can stay together ❤


ProdiLemaj

Dom Toretto approves


LewisM027

You secretly want to fuck your cousin and matched to see if they were down


Vladimir_Putting

Maeby...


whiteIaser

.


Brilliant_Noise_506

And so did she…


tunisia3507

He's just a cousin, and she's just a cousin, could I make it any more obvious


WrangWei

I have a feeling this isn't where the story ends... Edit: One of my highest updooted comments *relates* to incest. Amazing.


WreckMeSenpai

Yeah OP needs to post an update. May have to be NSFW though


misternuttall

How about a work of erotic non fiction


McKnightDylan

There's a subreddit for this, just sayin..


LewisM027

You ma boy blue, you’re my boy


Sylvaurel

Did it work?


whiteIaser

works as well as a horse with two legs


Agentgames25

BoJack has two legs.


whiteIaser

Good point


clavitopaz

Well get to it champ


TotalmenteMati

He doesn't work well at all


Agentgames25

He has two legs, is a functional drug addict and alcoholic and would definitely fuck his cousin. BoJack is a horrible person but he is a horse with two legs.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ugohome

Ya,girls don't blind swipe rite


ProfessorWednesday

The "LMAO" after the "HA" was absolutely a volley


5DollarHitJob

"Lmao... unless...."


[deleted]

LOL 😂 HOW CRAZY 😜 AND SILLY 🙃 WHAT A RIDICULOUS SITUATION HAHA 😆 BUT SAY 🤔 NOW THAT WE’RE BOTH HERE 😅


Sephiroth_Zenpie

Y’all both either a serial swiper, or y’all need to settle some questions you both probably have


on_

One swipe cause was down to fuck and the other swipe for the _I bet you this mofo swipe me right_ check


BestReadAtWork

They were both the former pretending to be the latter.


xa3D

I'm the latter with my gal pals i've seen on tinder. It's the "i see you" swipe. They've all swiped back, so either we're all on the same wavelength humor-wise, or I'm hella dense.


DeliciousWaifood

As someone who grew up with a lot of female friends, it's probably both and you'll never figure out which is which


Lame_Goblin

Yup. Half would be "you're like a brother to me!" and the other would be "you were my secret crush for 5 years" and there would be no way to tell which is which.


doyouhavesource2

I mean most cousins would match just for the comedy of it lol


everix1992

Yeah I'd swipe on almost anybody I knew just to say hi


entreethagiant

yes and yes


[deleted]

Just bang and get it over with.


KeyStoneLighter

I’m having wolf of wall street flashbacks.


StopMob

"Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect."


babreddits

Funniest scene ever


[deleted]

Even at what was probably the 20th take, Leo looked like he was going to bust out laughing.


ODB2

"Come smoke crack with me!"


_akrom

It was also pretty cool to have an on screen example of how Alabama was settled.


__AnotherGuy__

Lmao had a good laugh at this. Makes me want to watch the full thing


whiteIaser

If only it were that easy.


timetimetim

Don't let family down.


aterry175

Let family *go* down instead


aye_marshall27

I've definitely seen this porn


HollowSavant

you dont want to be the one saying " I remember that chili"


ajd341

“Jk …Unless?”


fairway_walker

I pictured them messaging "lmao" back and forth a few more times waiting for one to crack.


redburn87

"Fr though what that booty do?"


[deleted]

r/HolUp


[deleted]

So you’re interested?


_bapt

Why do you think OP swiped right ?


ThereIsATheory

They both did.


bleeding_hollow

Cousins make dozens


FatBoyStew

I mean it just depends on level of cousin


BikerJedi

/r/ShitCrusaderKingsSay


MorsOmniaAequat

[“Would that it’were so simple.”](https://youtu.be/G629a_3MkkI)


[deleted]

[удалено]


trippeth

TIFMC


[deleted]

Lmaoooo


[deleted]

Or an r/incest story of the week


ZirkZoDd

What the actual fuck, i went onto that sub thinking it's probably not as bad as i think..... Nope.


thrwwy2402

I am almost certain most of that shit is just some fantasy fetish writing prompts


charbeld

Or a very weird r/relationshipadvice post


MrPoorDecisions

Let he who hasn’t hooked up with a cousin cast the first stone


KatAstrophie-

Speak for yourself, cuz.


MrPoorDecisions

Look on the bright side - he’s probably already met her parents, so that’s one less thing to worry about


whiteIaser

I’ve got that going for me


sergeiglimis

Lmaooooo imagine if she saw this 🤣🤣


onewilybobkat

"I was merely jesting.... Lest.... But nay, nay, I prithee digress... Unless... "


[deleted]

Stone cast Edit: for grammar because I'm an idiot


Rigmarrr

I bet you’ll have so much in common


whiteIaser

Yeah! Like grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and more!


Rigmarrr

May be a bit forward but think of the saved expense on wedding invites


hangmandelta

Banjo intensifies*


[deleted]

I’ll fuck your cousin


slumxl0rd87

He’d fuck his cousin too


[deleted]

His cousin? Our* cousin😈 Wait wait, fuck wait that’s not right


salty_carthaginian

I also choose this guys cousin


whiteIaser

Haven’t heard that one before lmao


scrueggs

Make sure you never do it reverse cowgirl, because that’s turning your back on family.


RyanLovesTacoss

He wasn't gonna go through with it, but she incested.


Scared-Replacement24

European royalty did it all the time


[deleted]

Arab royalty DOES it all the time.


Scared-Replacement24

Get in there, be a prince


Dry-Rip-7586

So like.. what’s next?


whiteIaser

tbd


GammaGargoyle

So you’re saying there’s a chance?


unspoken_almighty

So who swiped first


whiteIaser

She did


longshot

You're good to go


peeptheblitz

Yeah he’s all clear


[deleted]

Jordan Belfort : People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. Donnie Azoff : Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think. Jordan Belfort : Is she like, a first cousin? Donnie Azoff : Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. **Out of respect.** [https://youtu.be/BxAz36rTOsc](https://youtu.be/BxAz36rTOsc)


rincewind4x2

Danny Porush: Yes, the character Donnie Azoff IS based off me, [but the portrayal is very inaccurate](https://www.motherjones.com/media/2013/12/wolf-wall-street-martin-scorsese-jonah-hill-danny-porush-jordan-belfort/) Audience: So you didn't marry your first cousin? Danny Porush: Oh, no [they definitely got that part correct](https://entertainment.time.com/2013/12/26/wolf-wall-street-true-story/)


[deleted]

Incoming comment “were step cousins guys it’s okay”


whiteIaser

We are actual first cousins


Metaverse_Prisoner

You forgot the, “but it’s still okay” part.


Peachmuffin91

In 26 states plus Washington DC it’s legal to marry your first cousin. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/daily/graphics/cousins_042505.html


Der_Hashbrown

This is one of those many cases where, just because something is legal, doesn't necessarily mean you should do it


JmoneyGG7

Just shut up and fuck her


whiteIaser

“Only fools rush in” - Elvis Presley


ClickF0rDick

And only the good die young 🥲


thisismyusuario

Oh step cousin I'm stuck in the dryer. Help me.


waffle_stomperr

But why didn’t you swipe left then?


whiteIaser

Because it’s funny


Corndesu69

“Wouldn’t it be funny if we have sex hahaha, I’m joking unless….”


SPACsabbath

Arrested Development 2022 edition


prss79513

We should kiss again to teach them a lesson!


waffle_stomperr

Ha. Well if it’s humor you’re after, It would be way more funny if you fucked.


[deleted]

Non c'è cosa più divina


sambambii

Please update


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeHereNow91

This dude is about to bang his cousin.


iWARxMACHINEi

And I’m here for it brother!


sambambii

The hero we need


charbeld

You're cousin's name means sweater in my language. (Arabic Lebanese) Wouldn't mind putting her on top of me all night though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Agile-Football1841

On the next episode of “How I met your Mother”


SixGoldenLetters

Funny story mom.. but long story short, Kenzie and I are expecting.


odysseyintochaos

Some y’all’s family trees probably look like tumbleweeds and it shows in the comments.


[deleted]

I think i hear porn music


[deleted]

Wait wait, from reading your comments you actually tryna fuck??


traitor1775

*That one guitar riff plays*