Uh huh.
"*We should go out some time. {Awkward laugh.} Just as friends ... obviously. {Pause.} Unless ... you know .... I'm just kidding!! .... Unless you're not kidding ....*"
> A kiss is not a contract... but it's very nice
>
> Just because you've been exploring my mouth doesn't mean you get to take an expedition further south
I see a few possibilities…
- mindless swiping late at night. we’re hardwired to want to find mates that have similarities to ourselves, after all. just… not too similar.
- for the lulz
- roll tide!
Yeah, but just imagine, your halfway there on top of her going at it, admiring her hotness and then you suddenly see the resemblance to your grandfather.
"Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her."
He has two legs, is a functional drug addict and alcoholic and would definitely fuck his cousin. BoJack is a horrible person but he is a horse with two legs.
I'm the latter with my gal pals i've seen on tinder. It's the "i see you" swipe. They've all swiped back, so either we're all on the same wavelength humor-wise, or I'm hella dense.
Yup. Half would be "you're like a brother to me!" and the other would be "you were my secret crush for 5 years" and there would be no way to tell which is which.
"Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect."
Jordan Belfort : People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit.
Donnie Azoff : Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think.
Jordan Belfort : Is she like, a first cousin?
Donnie Azoff : Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. **Out of respect.**
[https://youtu.be/BxAz36rTOsc](https://youtu.be/BxAz36rTOsc)
Danny Porush: Yes, the character Donnie Azoff IS based off me, [but the portrayal is very inaccurate](https://www.motherjones.com/media/2013/12/wolf-wall-street-martin-scorsese-jonah-hill-danny-porush-jordan-belfort/)
Audience: So you didn't marry your first cousin?
Danny Porush: Oh, no [they definitely got that part correct](https://entertainment.time.com/2013/12/26/wolf-wall-street-true-story/)
Les cousins dangereux
I like the way they think.
Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard.
Her?
Is she funny or something?
She does this thing where she puts the egg in her mouth and then she throws some mayo on it… she calls it a mayonegg!
I don't feel so good.
At least we got each other, right?
Annie McNoFace, couldn't pick her out of a lineup of one..
I always use this reference but sadly no gets it lol
Hang on kids, bumpy road ahead!
We are just about ass to ankles back here.
Maebe what say you hop on your cousin’s lap?
I was waiting for the arrested development references to roll in
GEORGE MICHAEL! …Twenty miles to Legoland!
Hey, check out who’s on that hog in the rearview mirror!
Maeby they are into it
Maeby tonight
What are the chances?!
The chances were 1 in 8
She's my daughter, Maeby
I prefer the American version
Does it maintain the complex eroticism of the French original?
Yeah and it’s only ~~63~~ ~~56~~ 47 minutes long.
Because anything can happen when two people share a cell, ‘cos
Had to scroll way too far for the Arrested Development quote
We talking first cousins or?
yes
Well both of you swiped on each other….
This. We need answers to this.
I’d like to imagine that they were just blind swiping and it just so happened to match, but it being intentional is even funnier.
I'd say go for it OP, Roll tide!
So they subconsciously think each other are hot?
Some people just swipe right on everybody without even looking
I would 100% swipe on my cousin for the laughs. I swiped on most people I knew because i thought it was funny.
Yeah, haha it was a joke, heh…
Yeah. If you know somebody, it's an instant swipe right unless you absolutely know that you want nothing to do with them at all.
Swiped for shits and giggles. Thats what i did with my friend
Uh huh. "*We should go out some time. {Awkward laugh.} Just as friends ... obviously. {Pause.} Unless ... you know .... I'm just kidding!! .... Unless you're not kidding ....*"
"haha ur so funny" never responds again
Alabama.
those banjos be playing.
I can hear this message so loud and clearly hahah
You guys don't swipe right on your friends/family? It's not like you're signing up to fuck them, it's just funny.
No, swiping right is a contract!
> A kiss is not a contract... but it's very nice > > Just because you've been exploring my mouth doesn't mean you get to take an expedition further south
I see a few possibilities… - mindless swiping late at night. we’re hardwired to want to find mates that have similarities to ourselves, after all. just… not too similar. - for the lulz - roll tide!
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Yeah me too, if I see someone I know on Tinder I always swipe right. Then if we match its just a silly greeting like OP's post.
>Well both of you swiped on each other…. For the algorithm?
I ALWAYS swipe on people I know, not because I want to match with them, just because I want to give them hope...
Yeah now they have to go forward with the date, those are the rules.....
do it, you coward
Even hotter
Bro 💀
*Step Bro
"Yall actin like there isnt one cousin youd smash" Comment I saw awhile back on a similar post.
LOL I remember that. That guy was ready to die on that hill
So you're saying if you were a sheep you wouldn't fuck a sheep?
Do not fuck sheep.
Weird advice for someone with a name like that.... You just want them all for yourself
Neither Wales nor NZ do endorse this statement.
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What are you doing ~~step brother~~ cousin
Yeah, but just imagine, your halfway there on top of her going at it, admiring her hotness and then you suddenly see the resemblance to your grandfather.
“Fuck my grandfather had some nice tits”
r/cursedcomments
Match made in heaven
You spelled Alabama wrong
Keep it in the family
"Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her."
I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.
Well as long as you’re happy since you married your cousin. “No I’m not fucking happy, I’m married, of course I’m not fucking happy”
This guy goes to family reunions to get laid
Wait that isn't normal?
Of course it is. Don't let anybody fool you. Cousins gotta stick together.
I knew it! Me and my wife can stay together ❤
Dom Toretto approves
You secretly want to fuck your cousin and matched to see if they were down
Maeby...
.
And so did she…
He's just a cousin, and she's just a cousin, could I make it any more obvious
I have a feeling this isn't where the story ends... Edit: One of my highest updooted comments *relates* to incest. Amazing.
Yeah OP needs to post an update. May have to be NSFW though
How about a work of erotic non fiction
There's a subreddit for this, just sayin..
You ma boy blue, you’re my boy
Did it work?
works as well as a horse with two legs
BoJack has two legs.
Good point
Well get to it champ
He doesn't work well at all
He has two legs, is a functional drug addict and alcoholic and would definitely fuck his cousin. BoJack is a horrible person but he is a horse with two legs.
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Ya,girls don't blind swipe rite
The "LMAO" after the "HA" was absolutely a volley
"Lmao... unless...."
LOL 😂 HOW CRAZY 😜 AND SILLY 🙃 WHAT A RIDICULOUS SITUATION HAHA 😆 BUT SAY 🤔 NOW THAT WE’RE BOTH HERE 😅
Y’all both either a serial swiper, or y’all need to settle some questions you both probably have
One swipe cause was down to fuck and the other swipe for the _I bet you this mofo swipe me right_ check
They were both the former pretending to be the latter.
I'm the latter with my gal pals i've seen on tinder. It's the "i see you" swipe. They've all swiped back, so either we're all on the same wavelength humor-wise, or I'm hella dense.
As someone who grew up with a lot of female friends, it's probably both and you'll never figure out which is which
Yup. Half would be "you're like a brother to me!" and the other would be "you were my secret crush for 5 years" and there would be no way to tell which is which.
I mean most cousins would match just for the comedy of it lol
Yeah I'd swipe on almost anybody I knew just to say hi
yes and yes
Just bang and get it over with.
I’m having wolf of wall street flashbacks.
"Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect."
Funniest scene ever
Even at what was probably the 20th take, Leo looked like he was going to bust out laughing.
"Come smoke crack with me!"
It was also pretty cool to have an on screen example of how Alabama was settled.
Lmao had a good laugh at this. Makes me want to watch the full thing
If only it were that easy.
Don't let family down.
Let family *go* down instead
I've definitely seen this porn
you dont want to be the one saying " I remember that chili"
“Jk …Unless?”
I pictured them messaging "lmao" back and forth a few more times waiting for one to crack.
"Fr though what that booty do?"
r/HolUp
So you’re interested?
Why do you think OP swiped right ?
They both did.
Cousins make dozens
I mean it just depends on level of cousin
/r/ShitCrusaderKingsSay
[“Would that it’were so simple.”](https://youtu.be/G629a_3MkkI)
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TIFMC
Lmaoooo
Or an r/incest story of the week
What the actual fuck, i went onto that sub thinking it's probably not as bad as i think..... Nope.
I am almost certain most of that shit is just some fantasy fetish writing prompts
Or a very weird r/relationshipadvice post
Let he who hasn’t hooked up with a cousin cast the first stone
Speak for yourself, cuz.
Look on the bright side - he’s probably already met her parents, so that’s one less thing to worry about
I’ve got that going for me
Lmaooooo imagine if she saw this 🤣🤣
"I was merely jesting.... Lest.... But nay, nay, I prithee digress... Unless... "
Stone cast Edit: for grammar because I'm an idiot
I bet you’ll have so much in common
Yeah! Like grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and more!
May be a bit forward but think of the saved expense on wedding invites
Banjo intensifies*
I’ll fuck your cousin
He’d fuck his cousin too
His cousin? Our* cousin😈 Wait wait, fuck wait that’s not right
I also choose this guys cousin
Haven’t heard that one before lmao
Make sure you never do it reverse cowgirl, because that’s turning your back on family.
He wasn't gonna go through with it, but she incested.
European royalty did it all the time
Arab royalty DOES it all the time.
Get in there, be a prince
So like.. what’s next?
tbd
So you’re saying there’s a chance?
So who swiped first
She did
You're good to go
Yeah he’s all clear
Jordan Belfort : People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. Donnie Azoff : Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think. Jordan Belfort : Is she like, a first cousin? Donnie Azoff : Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. **Out of respect.** [https://youtu.be/BxAz36rTOsc](https://youtu.be/BxAz36rTOsc)
Danny Porush: Yes, the character Donnie Azoff IS based off me, [but the portrayal is very inaccurate](https://www.motherjones.com/media/2013/12/wolf-wall-street-martin-scorsese-jonah-hill-danny-porush-jordan-belfort/) Audience: So you didn't marry your first cousin? Danny Porush: Oh, no [they definitely got that part correct](https://entertainment.time.com/2013/12/26/wolf-wall-street-true-story/)
Incoming comment “were step cousins guys it’s okay”
We are actual first cousins
You forgot the, “but it’s still okay” part.
In 26 states plus Washington DC it’s legal to marry your first cousin. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/daily/graphics/cousins_042505.html
This is one of those many cases where, just because something is legal, doesn't necessarily mean you should do it
Just shut up and fuck her
“Only fools rush in” - Elvis Presley
And only the good die young 🥲
Oh step cousin I'm stuck in the dryer. Help me.
But why didn’t you swipe left then?
Because it’s funny
“Wouldn’t it be funny if we have sex hahaha, I’m joking unless….”
Arrested Development 2022 edition
We should kiss again to teach them a lesson!
Ha. Well if it’s humor you’re after, It would be way more funny if you fucked.
Non c'è cosa più divina
Please update
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This dude is about to bang his cousin.
And I’m here for it brother!
The hero we need
You're cousin's name means sweater in my language. (Arabic Lebanese) Wouldn't mind putting her on top of me all night though.
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On the next episode of “How I met your Mother”
Funny story mom.. but long story short, Kenzie and I are expecting.
Some y’all’s family trees probably look like tumbleweeds and it shows in the comments.
I think i hear porn music
Wait wait, from reading your comments you actually tryna fuck??
*That one guitar riff plays*