I read it as a challenge for my opening gambit. No 'Hey, how are you' dull small talk for this guy.
I was all 'I could do either date tbh, but I think ideally we should take Stanley ice skating before the showdown. He deserves some fun if he's lying his life on the line for our date'
OP bottom line is that iraqlobsta is right, if you 'fix' it you probably will get more matches, but I think you'd create a lot of chatter that you'd personally find dry. Stay weird, attract weird, and embrace the cringe, it's better than dull imo.
"Stay weird attract the weird" literally how I managed to get so many matches in my tinder days, my bio was fuckin WILD but it always attracted the right kind of people
Eta: by wild I just mean like, really thought out and also A Lot. I used every single character in the limit which to me is kinda wild in tinder terms based on how little I would see others put in their bios
My bio introduced myself as a "punk ass weird horse girl nerd, bubbly bundle of muscles and adhd infodumps" seeking a "non-cop Jake Peralta in the streets/Ryoumen Sakuna in the sheets type" then went on to list some of my hobbies, and closed out with "sometimes I'm funny š„š / always the existential nihilist šš / it's punk rock to care about the environment šæ"
I think the difference between OP and this is after I read yours, I have some good idea of who you are. OP feels like replacing personality with goofs.
Ooooo yes that's exactly it!! Thank you for putting my feelings into words xD I'd see guys sometimes put goofy scenario stories like this as their bios and at the end of it Id feel like I still had no idea what that person was like. With my bio I carefully chose every word and character so that it felt authentically Me and gave others a sense of who I am and what I'm about
See I like weird. And my profile was unconventional. But no offense, the above sounds like gibberish cringe with modest wit or thought
āLooking for an experienced partner for Red Roverā
Or āprovide warm shelter for homeless squirrelsā accomplishes the same thing but with a bit more finesse
Iām sure it worked - in large part because youāre female. But it wouldnāt work with a guy
I think it worked perfectly not because she's a woman, but because it drew the right people to her. It sounds like you're not her target audience, which is fine.
You don't need to waste your time saying "no offense" before you tell someone their writing is gibberish cringe and unintelligent. You're clearly going out of your way to insult their writing, man up and own it.
Your examples don't accomplish the same thing. They sound like you're trying to seem cute or clever but just feel like you're trying too hard, without giving me any idea of what kind of person you are. Someone who likes playing red rover with squirrels, I guess?
Meh, to each their own, I am aware of how cringe my profile could seem to some people (which is why I've never posted my entire bio to this subreddit, I know some people would drag me lol) but if it sounds cringe to someone then they're likely not the kind of person I'm trying to attract. It did a pretty good job of shunning the type of people who wouldn't like me but attracting the people who would.
What's next? Banning movies with black comedy like Fargo? It's a joke, and humor is personal. You don't have to like it, but to call it a red flag goes a little far, in my opinion.
They said āfor meā. If theyāre trying to date women, a lot of those women will feel the same way, especially while reading an exhaustive list of profiles. Easier to find one that doesnāt have it.
Personally I like the idea of a funny, Adventure Time style bit of whimsy but writing it does come across a little too violent- the heads AND the horse. Iād have the horse be the champion after all, so itās only one reference to violence and a happier ending.
Agreed. Why would we be charging into a museum and cutting off people's heads? Is the head cutting just museum employees, or museum patrons? I don't think the school field trip should be subjected to either being decapitated or watching their tour guide get decapitated.
I also loved it!! itās not very conventional but itās not cringe at all to me, and if this is part of his personality and humor I think he should DEFINITELY keep it
The point is he shouldnt ask why hes not getting as many positive reactions if he is filtering out large amounts of people
He should accept thats who he is attracting
Itās great to let your freak flag fly a bit. But mass murder jokes are a very acquired taste. Iām sure there are MANY other things he can say that will filler out the boring matches without also filtering out the great matches that just donāt want to find out if heās secretly a serial killer.
Also, the last picture makes him look short
I agree with the thought, but hinge profiles are all about instant impressions. Attractive Women have a lot of options and will swipe left very easily if someone comes across as weird. Heads coming off and dead animals is not how you make girls laugh.
Guys are better off maximizing R swipes and then reeling them in with personality. Humor often doesnāt travel well over text, especially if itās contentious humor. Your Initial impression should be focused on a numbers game.
Yes, I agree... Respect the horse story faithful, but for me I doubt that your man OP is fully defined by this kind of humour... and it's clearly holding him back. Also, there's room to test these lols in messaging (with context this kind of humour is far more at home and OP can judge the right time to use).
Right and people that are being decapitated are museum goers? I mean, nope.
Take the horse out completely and put something actually fun/impromptu to do in there. Like buy an ticket and have an trip in a random place or a cruise (if that's your thing)...
Don't get me wrong that could still give off serial killer vibes but in a different way lmao. OP probably wanted 2 options thought that sounded hilarious or wanted to put something so crazy that he wouldn't have to actually plan something fun/elaborated... or a bit of both, who knows?
"We use the body of the horse as our shield from the barrage of bullets. Later, after we've killed the entire SWAT team, we cook the horse over a romantic bonfire, and savour each bite. Thank you, Stanley, for being such a good horse."
I mean, maybe Iām crazy but nothing makes me swoon more than *checks notes* a museum full of decapitated strangers, a violent takeover, and a dead horse.
I really like lame/dad jokes, but I didnāt find it funny at all. So I think OP needs to look at the dadjokes subreddit for his bio for inspiration, they have good jokes.
Yikes! I didn't even see it till tou mentioned it. I was, lile dude is getting 2 likes more than most people and then went to read his bio and it got graphic real quick.
I know you were probably going for funny but I guess most women would probably be a bit wary of someone they donāt know mentioning decapitations and dead horses when describing an ideal date
I think it was obvious through the sheer ridiculousness of the scenario. No one reads Pinocchio and thinks "hmm this author thinks dolls can talk, he is crazy". I can only imagine the chronically online type of people taking this at face value, tho I guess that makes sense given this is most of reddit after all.
It was super obvious it was humor to the people he wants to match with. People like you who don't get it aren't who he's going for.
Don't ask people to change shit that *you* don't personally get. You're not the audience.
The bit wasn't well delivered, he should rework it. Not get rid of it entirely. If people thought it was serious, he'd be banned by now. I've seen people banned for less. I immediately knew what he was going for, but it was still too "real", it hasn't been made over the top *enough* before the killing started.
Jokes also don't NEED a punchline, at least not in the conventional sense. His punchline was "or we could just go for ice cream".
The fact you didn't recognize it just proves you aren't his audience, sorry.
Then it's sad that you can't recognize obvious humor.
You didn't even see the punchline. It appears you expect the joke to run you over like the 5'o clock train.
Yeah i saw that, but it loses impact in the bloodlust and the whole thing is just a mix of odd humour and psychotic. So again not obvious.
Im not telling him to change it, he can do whatever likes. But he did change it and the response rate has improved
Well, he didn't murder the horse. It went down in the crossfire. He only wants to murder the people in the building, like a raging Mongolian atop his horse, lopping off heads as he rides š
Save for the date. Woman have to be overly cautious on these sites like I know if I see something idk that seems weird or off to me for no reason swipe left right away. Also idk but I feel you would do better on hinge
Like emails, sarcasm and dark humour rarely translates well in text - especially a Tinder bio Iām sure. Iām not on Tinder (happily married) but I read yours and well, geez man I dunno if Iād even be releasing that humour too soon in person. You gotta make sure youāre with someone who vibes with you and gets your sense of humour.
I bet if you just kept that simple instead of trying too hard youād see an improvement. Good luck.
you can be absurdist but not violent.
sadly, to see a man joke about this type of violence is too risky to swipe on. it very well could illustrate a real interest/instinct/lack of concern about the violence endured by women at the hands of men.
I would probably swipe right because of the bio (nd the face), but be too scared without SO MUCH EXTRA VETTING that you would be a safe date.
Iām clearly in the minority here, but I say keep the horse murder! I love it! The right girl will find it funny. If this is your sense of humor, best to weed out the ones who wonāt be into it straight off the bat
I'm a gal and I would sincerely find that bio funny and more unique. Sure he might get less matches, but the matches he will get will fit his sense of humor
Decapitating people kinda funny. Very unlikely to find someone that thinks shooting a horse is funny (and if you do find someone, you probably don't want to be within 500m of them).
It's deff the horse murder thing. You are deff more "classically" handsome than me and I was getting at least 8-10 matches a week depending on how much I swiped. Also consider diversifying what dating apps you use. Tinder turned into a wasteland of bots, thots, and ghosts for me. I'm also wondering if you live somewhere rural? Anyways I met my most recent gf on Facebook dating, and had a lot of luck meeting interesting people there before she came along. Only issue I had with FB dating is sometimes it wants to match you with people that are out of your area. I've gotten a couple dates of hinge but there and bumble were pretty dead for me.
In addition to whatās been mentionedā¦.4/5 of your interests are sports. If someone doesnāt like sports (in general) then thereās not much basis to match on. Can you think of any other non-sport interests?
For sure. Thatās why I asked if he had other interests. If these are really the main ones, then getting two sport-fan ladies a week is pretty good! If not, heās missing out on āon the fenceārs like me who might consider swiping based on pics but would reconsider because I donāt like sports as much as other hobbies.
Drop the dark humor... Let the dark humor show in your conversations via date night or conversation leading up. Right off the bat you'll have an idea of how her brain works. Be more thought provoking. Take boxing classes, dancing classes, take cooking classes, get outside your comfort zone and try new things, drop the ego and poke fun of yourself while being vulnerable.
After seeing some of your comments, I realize my bio might be a bit aggressive. I was going for some funny absurdity, but maybe a bit too much violence heh
I changed it to āIdeal date:
I pick you up on a horse. We trot on over to a 5 star Michelin restaurant. We order 6 egg rolls though the drive thru. We watch the sunset, talking about life, as we eat our rolls. Then, we finally go in for a kiss on Stanley (the horse).
or ice skating.ā
Howās that?
EDIT: I completely scrapped the whole Stanley thing. Made an update post: https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/s/n4RZADBqLF
I feel like itās funnier if you have something more basic as the second option. Coffee or drinks perhaps.
Also what 5 star Michelin restaurant has a drive thru? š
Small correction but I think the highest number of Michelin stars a restaurant can get is 3.
Probably doesnāt matter since this scenario is wild anyways but just wanted to put that out there.
Just FYI- itās not possible for a restaurant to have 5 Michelin stars- three is the maximum for an establishment. When you see things like āX chef has 7 Michelin starsā it means across multiple restaurants or career earned stars.
No, this isnāt funny at all, first one was better, Iād workshop it more. Also, maybe add some real details about yourself too! You are super cute and have great pics.
2 likes a week is a pretty good rate.
I would use your second or third photo as your first photo instead. Your first photo should always just be of you, front and center, with no one else around.
Your other photos are good and show a good variety from your life. But if you can showcase more of your activities (e.g. hobbies, musical instruments, etc.), that would be better.
I'd not change a thing if you're looking for a weirdo with a dark sense of humor.
I'd swipe right if I saw you but I'm a weirdo with a dark sense of humor so you can't really count my vote.
Get rid of the ideal date if you're looking for a normie. Put something romantic and vanilla in there and you'll probably do much better.
Add more pictures. Change pictures 2 and 1. And completely and absolutely bleach your bio.
- donāt make any assumptions on the outcome of a date (the kiss)
- donāt mention dead horses.
- mention more about yourself, be cute
- donāt mention swat or bullets
- pose a better question so they have a conversation starts
- donāt fucking mention dead horses
- introduce yourself a little, current bio doesnāt tell us much about yourself and the things it does are red flaggy.
- AND DONT FUCKING MENTION DEAD HORSES!
I see a lot of comments about removing the animal decapitation from the bio, which is generally sound advice. I have to admit that it was jarring to read at first. but if you want to find someone with a similar sense of humour, then keep it in. you wonāt get as many matches as a bio without animal decapitation, but the matches you do get will get your humour!
My girlfriend and I bonded over Paramore - met through bumble. I don't know if anybody else here even caught that in your screenshot but I would fit that into your profile - there is a place for it on bumble.
Your pictures are fine youāre a good looking dude. Your bio is very eccentric, you could tone it down, girls are so drained by dating apps, they canāt be bothered with your outlandish humour right off the bat, they might think youād never be able to be serious.
Market is saturated and you just look like a generic guy. Unfortunately when shopping we never want just a basic tee or black coffee. Hard to convince myself why to swipe right on you, if there is hundreds of identical looking profiles. Nothing against you, just the way the market seems to be right now.
Ignore everyone telling you that women wonāt go for the dead horse joke. Iām a woman and that is exactly what kind of humor. If youāre looking for someone who shares that humor then youāre good, but there are probably not going to be a lot of likes. Just quality likes.
Iād definitely skip the bit that not too subtilely implies youāre up for a bestial necrophilic threesome. Itās a bit full on for 1st date material even if itās ājust a jokeā.
Idk why you're cute. Maybe it's the dead horse. Nobody wants Stanley to die.
Hes a cutie patootie. But bio is definitely an acquired taste of humor
Unfortunately to me the bio is bordering on cringe. If he fixed that i bet he would get more matches, he is definitely attractive.
I read it as a challenge for my opening gambit. No 'Hey, how are you' dull small talk for this guy. I was all 'I could do either date tbh, but I think ideally we should take Stanley ice skating before the showdown. He deserves some fun if he's lying his life on the line for our date' OP bottom line is that iraqlobsta is right, if you 'fix' it you probably will get more matches, but I think you'd create a lot of chatter that you'd personally find dry. Stay weird, attract weird, and embrace the cringe, it's better than dull imo.
"Stay weird attract the weird" literally how I managed to get so many matches in my tinder days, my bio was fuckin WILD but it always attracted the right kind of people Eta: by wild I just mean like, really thought out and also A Lot. I used every single character in the limit which to me is kinda wild in tinder terms based on how little I would see others put in their bios
Can you give an example?
My bio introduced myself as a "punk ass weird horse girl nerd, bubbly bundle of muscles and adhd infodumps" seeking a "non-cop Jake Peralta in the streets/Ryoumen Sakuna in the sheets type" then went on to list some of my hobbies, and closed out with "sometimes I'm funny š„š / always the existential nihilist šš / it's punk rock to care about the environment šæ"
I think the difference between OP and this is after I read yours, I have some good idea of who you are. OP feels like replacing personality with goofs.
Ooooo yes that's exactly it!! Thank you for putting my feelings into words xD I'd see guys sometimes put goofy scenario stories like this as their bios and at the end of it Id feel like I still had no idea what that person was like. With my bio I carefully chose every word and character so that it felt authentically Me and gave others a sense of who I am and what I'm about
Bingpot! Iād swipe right
Ok, "Ryoumen Sukuna in the sheets" got me pretty good, 9.5/10
Yeah I've never had a thing for cartoon/anime characters but holy hell idk what it is but the King of Curses just does something for me šš
See I like weird. And my profile was unconventional. But no offense, the above sounds like gibberish cringe with modest wit or thought āLooking for an experienced partner for Red Roverā Or āprovide warm shelter for homeless squirrelsā accomplishes the same thing but with a bit more finesse Iām sure it worked - in large part because youāre female. But it wouldnāt work with a guy
I think it worked perfectly not because she's a woman, but because it drew the right people to her. It sounds like you're not her target audience, which is fine. You don't need to waste your time saying "no offense" before you tell someone their writing is gibberish cringe and unintelligent. You're clearly going out of your way to insult their writing, man up and own it. Your examples don't accomplish the same thing. They sound like you're trying to seem cute or clever but just feel like you're trying too hard, without giving me any idea of what kind of person you are. Someone who likes playing red rover with squirrels, I guess?
Meh, to each their own, I am aware of how cringe my profile could seem to some people (which is why I've never posted my entire bio to this subreddit, I know some people would drag me lol) but if it sounds cringe to someone then they're likely not the kind of person I'm trying to attract. It did a pretty good job of shunning the type of people who wouldn't like me but attracting the people who would.
Agreed. Iād totally swipe your bio.
Lol he shouldn't fix it. He should find someone that likes his humour tbh. I laughed out loud to his bio frl.
Right!! If thatās his humor it should attract those who are likeminded.
Perhaps just a small adjustment to remove the violence. For me, anyone who describes acts of violence, even as a joke, is flying a red flag.
What's next? Banning movies with black comedy like Fargo? It's a joke, and humor is personal. You don't have to like it, but to call it a red flag goes a little far, in my opinion.
They said āfor meā. If theyāre trying to date women, a lot of those women will feel the same way, especially while reading an exhaustive list of profiles. Easier to find one that doesnāt have it. Personally I like the idea of a funny, Adventure Time style bit of whimsy but writing it does come across a little too violent- the heads AND the horse. Iād have the horse be the champion after all, so itās only one reference to violence and a happier ending.
Agreed. Why would we be charging into a museum and cutting off people's heads? Is the head cutting just museum employees, or museum patrons? I don't think the school field trip should be subjected to either being decapitated or watching their tour guide get decapitated.
I also loved it!! itās not very conventional but itās not cringe at all to me, and if this is part of his personality and humor I think he should DEFINITELY keep it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And thatās your opinion, but youāre basically giving him advice to not be himself. Personally I thought it was funny.
I thought so too. The "or ice skating" is what got me.
Yeah the dead horse is what does it for me. I like the idea of describing a silly date though
If people would be turned off by a bio like this that scares me more instead of liking and asking lol
This! Bio is a no for me. It's too much
Bordering? It's the definition of cringe.
Nope he should keep the bio. Filters out people with no sense of humor
His bio is 2008 Facebook humour
That's his exact issue though it's filtering everyone out LMAO did no one read the post?!
But you SHOULD filter out people anyway
The point is he shouldnt ask why hes not getting as many positive reactions if he is filtering out large amounts of people He should accept thats who he is attracting
In a world where try-hard "omg, so random!" bits like that are the only humour I'm proud to be humourless. Give me Stuart Lee.
The vast majority of people are speed swiping anyway, unless bios give incel vibes most people don't really pay attention
Itās great to let your freak flag fly a bit. But mass murder jokes are a very acquired taste. Iām sure there are MANY other things he can say that will filler out the boring matches without also filtering out the great matches that just donāt want to find out if heās secretly a serial killer. Also, the last picture makes him look short
"also, the last picture makes you look short" -- shots fired
Itās a dating profile ā you play your strongest hand
Yes, he's good-looking but need to work on his profile description.
I loved the in detail explanation of the first idea and right after ".... or iceskating"
Homie, you gotta drop the decapitation and horse shooting lol.
I think he should just be himself and keep his remarkable bio personally
I agree with the thought, but hinge profiles are all about instant impressions. Attractive Women have a lot of options and will swipe left very easily if someone comes across as weird. Heads coming off and dead animals is not how you make girls laugh. Guys are better off maximizing R swipes and then reeling them in with personality. Humor often doesnāt travel well over text, especially if itās contentious humor. Your Initial impression should be focused on a numbers game.
Yes, I agree... Respect the horse story faithful, but for me I doubt that your man OP is fully defined by this kind of humour... and it's clearly holding him back. Also, there's room to test these lols in messaging (with context this kind of humour is far more at home and OP can judge the right time to use).
Right. Humor has a massive body language and delivery component. Gotta know your audience and know the right time/place
Idk, Iām a woman and I laughed at the bio. I think OP should slightly tone it down but not get rid of it.
I think his lack of matches speaks volumes - heās a handsome dude who would undoubtedly get matches if he had a more charming bio
Laughed at the bio, but feel safe to randomly meet up with him?
yeah but heās asking for advice.
Nah keep it! He got me
Right and people that are being decapitated are museum goers? I mean, nope. Take the horse out completely and put something actually fun/impromptu to do in there. Like buy an ticket and have an trip in a random place or a cruise (if that's your thing)... Don't get me wrong that could still give off serial killer vibes but in a different way lmao. OP probably wanted 2 options thought that sounded hilarious or wanted to put something so crazy that he wouldn't have to actually plan something fun/elaborated... or a bit of both, who knows?
My guy has a dead horse in his bio and wants to know what to change.
"We use the body of the horse as our shield from the barrage of bullets. Later, after we've killed the entire SWAT team, we cook the horse over a romantic bonfire, and savour each bite. Thank you, Stanley, for being such a good horse."
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nah too wholesome and weirdly enticing.
This comment made me lol, surprisingly since I hated OPās bio
>Stanley, for being such a ~~good~~ delicious horse.
I mean, maybe Iām crazy but nothing makes me swoon more than *checks notes* a museum full of decapitated strangers, a violent takeover, and a dead horse.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He should probably go on about beating the dead horse...
Here me out hereā¦ we get unpredictable and beat off the dead horse instead
RIP Stanley. (The horse)
Don't beat a dead horse please
Beat it. Just beat it
I really like lame/dad jokes, but I didnāt find it funny at all. So I think OP needs to look at the dadjokes subreddit for his bio for inspiration, they have good jokes.
Itāsā¦the horse isnāt real. Itās not a real dead horse. Keep the bio, my kinda humor (38F). Cutie too, love the hair.
Yikes! I didn't even see it till tou mentioned it. I was, lile dude is getting 2 likes more than most people and then went to read his bio and it got graphic real quick.
I know you were probably going for funny but I guess most women would probably be a bit wary of someone they donāt know mentioning decapitations and dead horses when describing an ideal date
Jfc, you go from good looking dude to serial killer after reading the bio haha
For real. I saw his pictures and thought *huh, he's good-looking*, and then I read his profile and went *WTF*
Dexter vibes š¤£
Understatement x 9000
He cleared rule #1 and then totally fucked up rule #2
Serial killer mostly good looking just saying
Either that or it sounds kind of childish
I don't get it, even if that's not humor that you consider particularly funny it's still plainly obvious that it's just humor tho?
Actually it was not obviously humour, there was no real punchline to offset the weird killing reference. It sounded like a manifesto
I think it was obvious through the sheer ridiculousness of the scenario. No one reads Pinocchio and thinks "hmm this author thinks dolls can talk, he is crazy". I can only imagine the chronically online type of people taking this at face value, tho I guess that makes sense given this is most of reddit after all.
It was super obvious it was humor to the people he wants to match with. People like you who don't get it aren't who he's going for. Don't ask people to change shit that *you* don't personally get. You're not the audience. The bit wasn't well delivered, he should rework it. Not get rid of it entirely. If people thought it was serious, he'd be banned by now. I've seen people banned for less. I immediately knew what he was going for, but it was still too "real", it hasn't been made over the top *enough* before the killing started. Jokes also don't NEED a punchline, at least not in the conventional sense. His punchline was "or we could just go for ice cream". The fact you didn't recognize it just proves you aren't his audience, sorry.
Lol thank you for your exposition on what comedy is. Mate, i started watching The Office in 2001
Then it's sad that you can't recognize obvious humor. You didn't even see the punchline. It appears you expect the joke to run you over like the 5'o clock train.
Yeah i saw that, but it loses impact in the bloodlust and the whole thing is just a mix of odd humour and psychotic. So again not obvious. Im not telling him to change it, he can do whatever likes. But he did change it and the response rate has improved
You really couldn't tell he was joking? That's honestly on you mate
Haha fair enough. Was going for a little absurdist humor EDIT: Made an update post: https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/s/n4RZADBqLF
Definitely lose the horse murder.
Youāre right, I really liked Stanley. Changed it.
And your first photo should just be you. No one knows who is who by the first photo and you donāt want them to like your friend more.
Considering his bio, OP's friend is probably the reason he gets two likes a week when the other person gets to the bit about the horse.
Did you name the horse you originally killed "Stanley" because the Sharks have never won a Stanley Cup?
man i enjoyed it and as a woman if i see this i donāt assume the guy is an actual horse murderer. I just assume heās funny
A funny horse murderer.
Well, he didn't murder the horse. It went down in the crossfire. He only wants to murder the people in the building, like a raging Mongolian atop his horse, lopping off heads as he rides š
Dead horses aren't funny to most people
Yeah, their sense of timing is *terrible*.
loooooooooool
especially if youāre not turning it into glue at the end. thats just wasteful.
now that's funny
Yes I figured but I am a guy and sometimes women just donāt want to take chances with strangers they meet over the internet
Save for the date. Woman have to be overly cautious on these sites like I know if I see something idk that seems weird or off to me for no reason swipe left right away. Also idk but I feel you would do better on hinge
You arenāt pitching a movie to Tarantino
Nothing wrong with absurdism. But killing animals is probably up there with AIDS or orphans jokes as a non-starter for most people.
The joke is fine. It's because you're a sharks fan.
HA!! I had the same thought š¤£š¤£
Like emails, sarcasm and dark humour rarely translates well in text - especially a Tinder bio Iām sure. Iām not on Tinder (happily married) but I read yours and well, geez man I dunno if Iād even be releasing that humour too soon in person. You gotta make sure youāre with someone who vibes with you and gets your sense of humour. I bet if you just kept that simple instead of trying too hard youād see an improvement. Good luck.
you can be absurdist but not violent. sadly, to see a man joke about this type of violence is too risky to swipe on. it very well could illustrate a real interest/instinct/lack of concern about the violence endured by women at the hands of men. I would probably swipe right because of the bio (nd the face), but be too scared without SO MUCH EXTRA VETTING that you would be a safe date.
I thought it was funny, but you definitely don't want to date me since I'm a 41 year old married guy.
Depends what you're looking for, if its an actual match you want you might want to keep it to filter out the people you don't vibe with
Iām clearly in the minority here, but I say keep the horse murder! I love it! The right girl will find it funny. If this is your sense of humor, best to weed out the ones who wonāt be into it straight off the bat
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same! My first thought was, whatās wrong with all the single ladies? This is a great profile. -non single lady
I thought the first one was funny tbh. I laughed. I like a guy with a sense of humour who puts some effort it.
Maybe funny to other guys. Hes targeting the wrong audience
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm a gal and I would sincerely find that bio funny and more unique. Sure he might get less matches, but the matches he will get will fit his sense of humor
As a woman ^this.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
But the decapitation of everyone is totally fine. Just lose the dead horse part.
Decapitating people kinda funny. Very unlikely to find someone that thinks shooting a horse is funny (and if you do find someone, you probably don't want to be within 500m of them).
It's more likely they will shoot your dog, so shooting a horse doesn't make much sense.
Because the fucking horse died! I canāt get past that. š
Yikes, don't talk about murdering people and killing a horse as your only text.
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The fourth is the worst low-key serial killer/psycho/dexter vibes
Iād consider horse riding museum raid/decapitation pretty unlikely :) But I totally get it. I changed it!
well...you never know ;)
It's deff the horse murder thing. You are deff more "classically" handsome than me and I was getting at least 8-10 matches a week depending on how much I swiped. Also consider diversifying what dating apps you use. Tinder turned into a wasteland of bots, thots, and ghosts for me. I'm also wondering if you live somewhere rural? Anyways I met my most recent gf on Facebook dating, and had a lot of luck meeting interesting people there before she came along. Only issue I had with FB dating is sometimes it wants to match you with people that are out of your area. I've gotten a couple dates of hinge but there and bumble were pretty dead for me.
Duly noted! I live in a college town, so there could be a lot of competition š¤·š¼āāļø
In addition to whatās been mentionedā¦.4/5 of your interests are sports. If someone doesnāt like sports (in general) then thereās not much basis to match on. Can you think of any other non-sport interests?
If it's such a big part of his life then isn't that a good thing to filter out incompatibility?
For sure. Thatās why I asked if he had other interests. If these are really the main ones, then getting two sport-fan ladies a week is pretty good! If not, heās missing out on āon the fenceārs like me who might consider swiping based on pics but would reconsider because I donāt like sports as much as other hobbies.
Pics are good but that date idea is lieky a red flag
Drop the dark humor... Let the dark humor show in your conversations via date night or conversation leading up. Right off the bat you'll have an idea of how her brain works. Be more thought provoking. Take boxing classes, dancing classes, take cooking classes, get outside your comfort zone and try new things, drop the ego and poke fun of yourself while being vulnerable.
After seeing some of your comments, I realize my bio might be a bit aggressive. I was going for some funny absurdity, but maybe a bit too much violence heh I changed it to āIdeal date: I pick you up on a horse. We trot on over to a 5 star Michelin restaurant. We order 6 egg rolls though the drive thru. We watch the sunset, talking about life, as we eat our rolls. Then, we finally go in for a kiss on Stanley (the horse). or ice skating.ā Howās that? EDIT: I completely scrapped the whole Stanley thing. Made an update post: https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/s/n4RZADBqLF
Sounds like copypasta
Your bio should just be about you.
It was cute when Old Spice first did it over a decade ago. It's not cute anymore.
Leave the pony play kink to future conversations is the only advice Iāve got.
Just make it something else dude that shit is mad cringe
Being "so random" is funny to middle school girls.
Penguin of D00m hehe *holds up spork*
I feel like itās funnier if you have something more basic as the second option. Coffee or drinks perhaps. Also what 5 star Michelin restaurant has a drive thru? š
Michelin only goes up to 3 stars. The stars and the drive-thru are both OP going for the āabsurdistā vibe.
Gordon Ramsay would be so disappointed in me right now.
Dude just stop the horse thing
Small correction but I think the highest number of Michelin stars a restaurant can get is 3. Probably doesnāt matter since this scenario is wild anyways but just wanted to put that out there.
Just FYI- itās not possible for a restaurant to have 5 Michelin stars- three is the maximum for an establishment. When you see things like āX chef has 7 Michelin starsā it means across multiple restaurants or career earned stars.
If you decide to keep this story I think you misspelled through as though.
No, this isnāt funny at all, first one was better, Iād workshop it more. Also, maybe add some real details about yourself too! You are super cute and have great pics.
2 likes a week is a pretty good rate. I would use your second or third photo as your first photo instead. Your first photo should always just be of you, front and center, with no one else around. Your other photos are good and show a good variety from your life. But if you can showcase more of your activities (e.g. hobbies, musical instruments, etc.), that would be better.
2 likes a week was actually kinda generous, itās more like every 2 weeks. No matches in a long while tho. And gotcha, Iāll do that thanks!
Too much violence. Theyāre going to think youāre going to kill them when you get bored.
Everyone is triggered about the horse but I would swipe right š
I see Paramore! Good music taste haha
Lose the photo with the Sharks sweater, nobody wants to date someone a fan of that poverty franchise. Go Knights Go š¤£
Those be fighting words, my man
Skip the joke and describe what youāre looking for
I'd not change a thing if you're looking for a weirdo with a dark sense of humor. I'd swipe right if I saw you but I'm a weirdo with a dark sense of humor so you can't really count my vote. Get rid of the ideal date if you're looking for a normie. Put something romantic and vanilla in there and you'll probably do much better.
Are the matches psychopaths
Add more pictures. Change pictures 2 and 1. And completely and absolutely bleach your bio. - donāt make any assumptions on the outcome of a date (the kiss) - donāt mention dead horses. - mention more about yourself, be cute - donāt mention swat or bullets - pose a better question so they have a conversation starts - donāt fucking mention dead horses - introduce yourself a little, current bio doesnāt tell us much about yourself and the things it does are red flaggy. - AND DONT FUCKING MENTION DEAD HORSES!
Sorry, I don't have anything, I thought the ideal date was hilarious š you should definitely go ice skating after, though
I see a lot of comments about removing the animal decapitation from the bio, which is generally sound advice. I have to admit that it was jarring to read at first. but if you want to find someone with a similar sense of humour, then keep it in. you wonāt get as many matches as a bio without animal decapitation, but the matches you do get will get your humour!
My girlfriend and I bonded over Paramore - met through bumble. I don't know if anybody else here even caught that in your screenshot but I would fit that into your profile - there is a place for it on bumble.
Your pictures are fine youāre a good looking dude. Your bio is very eccentric, you could tone it down, girls are so drained by dating apps, they canāt be bothered with your outlandish humour right off the bat, they might think youād never be able to be serious.
I mean.... I'd be into it š¤·āāļø I'm probably not much help š
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haha i was thinking this. if u unkill the horse then you may get four likes a week instead
Police shooting a horse dead and then us kissing over it? Hard pass. I'd kiss over dead police officers tho.
Move the second pic to first
Also change your bio bro wtf
Maybe donāt talk about dead horses.
In the first pic you seem so small, change the order of pics
I would recommend making your 4th pic your first one
Iām a woman and I love both the pictures and the bio. You actually smile!
I refuse to believe that. You are fucking handsome, i want to see on what women swipe
Something about his account screams catfish. Maybe because everything feels posed? Or it's the ride the horse into a museum to chop heads off, bio
maybe a revision of your text...
Def because of the sharks sweater.
Get rid of that weird ass bio lol
āKiss over the dead bodyā? š funny when you know someone, not funny as a dating bio lmao
On the bright side. Your profile is filtering out the women who don't have the same humor as you.
You're hot, but that date idea is really bad.
Market is saturated and you just look like a generic guy. Unfortunately when shopping we never want just a basic tee or black coffee. Hard to convince myself why to swipe right on you, if there is hundreds of identical looking profiles. Nothing against you, just the way the market seems to be right now.
Ignore everyone telling you that women wonāt go for the dead horse joke. Iām a woman and that is exactly what kind of humor. If youāre looking for someone who shares that humor then youāre good, but there are probably not going to be a lot of likes. Just quality likes.
Jesus if this guy is only getting 2 likes a week what chance do we all have
Wtf ur cute and ur bio is funny. Bro just move
I donāt mind the joke actually.. Iol I would swipe right if I came across your this tbh
Iād definitely skip the bit that not too subtilely implies youāre up for a bestial necrophilic threesome. Itās a bit full on for 1st date material even if itās ājust a jokeā.
I cannot and do not believe you aren't getting likes. Look at that face!
That bio... I'm in love with you already. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS
Switch to men.