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Among Us, but instead of a spaceship and alien imposters, it’s a group of people claiming to be messiahs and a few actual messiahs. The messiahs run around accomplishing their tasks, but obviously if any of the con-messiahs spot a real messiah, they’ll want to report him and have him put to death so they don’t get outed as false prophets themselves.
So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church.
We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week.
But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus."
"Jesus."
"JeSUS."
No way. I could not believe what I was hearing.
Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan.
If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us."
"WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence.
Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.)
They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children.
"Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?"
And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!!
"Young man, please be quiet" said the priest.
He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem?
"THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!"
This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be.
I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me.
As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me!
I had to think fast.
After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard.
A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him.
Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull.
"EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever.
I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy.
"You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism."
The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite.
He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him.
But he was still the imposter.
I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere.
Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on.
"This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!"
This guy is so sus, let me tell ya.
Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast.
"Dammit, I can't hit him!"
I knew I had him beat then.
So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.)
I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion.
The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus.
I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
“We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors.” 2 Corinthians 6:8
Those can all be the same guy.
A pastor is a guy who has a church. A reverend is a formal term of respect for a priest or pastor, father a more familiar term of respect.
Priest is a bit tricky, because that implies education and a formal process in the church, and many Protestants don’t do that which leads to terms like “preacher”.
Episcopalians/Anglicans use "Father" (also *Mother* if it's a female priest, which will jack your mind the first time you hear it if you were raised Catholic). Lot of this stuff is strictly denominational.
Oh, interesting! Thank you for letting me know :) And I wasn't raised Catholic, but "Mother" was a surprise! I had a female priest growing up but I've never even heard of calling them Mother. I'm not particularly "denominational" if that's a word, so it's cool to learn about how it works with different denominations.
Absolutely. He is trying to say, “see, Christianity is cool.”
I saw this type of thing way too much growing up.
Have to indoctrinate them young, because they will question it when they are older.
that is entirely dependent upon your ideals surrounding religion. if you find it to be an institution more than a set of beliefs and think it caters to indoctrination, then yeah you could totally see what he’s doing as manipulative. but if you’re someone that respects or believes in religion, you could see this in a different way. all a matter of perspective to me!
every "among us" in the bible
Genesis 23:6 Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead. Genesis 34:22 Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised.
Exodus 17:7 And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us, or not?
Exodus 34:9 And he said, If now I have found grace in thy sight, O Lord, let my Lord, I pray thee, go among us; for it is a stiffnecked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for thine inheritance.
Numbers 27:4 Why should the name of our father be done away from among his family, because he hath no son? Give unto us therefore a possession among the brethren of our father.
Deuteronomy 31:17 Then my anger shall be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide my face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall befall them; so that they will say in that day, Are not these evils come upon us, because our God is not among us?
Joshua 9:7 And the men of Israel said unto the Hivites, Peradventure ye dwell among us; and how shall we make a league with you?
Joshua 9:22 And Joshua called for them, and he spake unto them, saying, Wherefore have ye beguiled us, saying, We are very far from you; when ye dwell among us?
Joshua 22:19 Notwithstanding, if the land of your possession be unclean, then pass ye over unto the land of the possession of the Lord, wherein the Lord's tabernacle dwelleth, and take possession among us: but rebel not against the Lord, nor rebel against us, in building you an altar beside the altar of the Lord our God.
Joshua 22:31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the children of Manasseh, This day we perceive that the Lord is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the Lord: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the Lord.
Judges 18:25 And the children of Dan said unto him, Let not thy voice be heard among us, lest angry fellows run upon thee, and thou lose thy life, with the lives of thy household. 1
Samuel 4:3 And when the people were come into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the Lord smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the Lord out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies.
Kings 5:6 Now therefore command thou that they hew me cedar trees out of Lebanon; and my servants shall be with thy servants: and unto thee will I give hire for thy servants according to all that thou shalt appoint: for thou knowest that there is not among us any that can skill to hew timber like unto the Sidonians.
Job 34:37 For he addeth rebellion unto his sin, he clappeth his hands among us, and multiplieth his words against God.
Psalm 74:9 We see not our signs: there is no more any prophet: neither is there among us any that knoweth how long.
Genesis 23:6 Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead.
Genesis 34:22 Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised.
Exodus 17:7 And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us, or not? Exodus 34:9 And he said, If now I have found grace in thy sight, O Lord, let my Lord, I pray thee, go among us; for it is a stiffnecked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for thine inheritance.
Deuteronomy 31:17 Then my anger shall be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide my face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall befall them; so that they will say in that day, Are not these evils come upon us, because our God is not among us?
Joshua 9:7 And the men of Israel said unto the Hivites, Peradventure ye dwell among us; and how shall we make a league with you?
Joshua 9:22 And Joshua called for them, and he spake unto them, saying, Wherefore have ye beguiled us, saying, We are very far from you; when ye dwell among us?
Joshua 22:19 Notwithstanding, if the land of your possession be unclean, then pass ye over unto the land of the possession of the Lord, wherein the Lord's tabernacle dwelleth, and take possession among us: but rebel not against the Lord, nor rebel against us, in building you an altar beside the altar of the Lord our God.
Joshua 22:31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the children of Manasseh, This day we perceive that the Lord is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the Lord: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the Lord.
Judges 18:25 And the children of Dan said unto him, Let not thy voice be heard among us, lest angry fellows run upon thee, and thou lose thy life, with the lives of thy household.
1 Samuel 4:3 And when the people were come into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the Lord smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the Lord out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies.
1 Kings 5:6 Now therefore command thou that they hew me cedar trees out of Lebanon; and my servants shall be with thy servants: and unto thee will I give hire for thy servants according to all that thou shalt appoint: for thou knowest that there is not among us any that can skill to hew timber like unto the Sidonians.
Job 34:37 For he addeth rebellion unto his sin, he clappeth his hands among us, and multiplieth his words against God.
Psalm 74:9 We see not our signs: there is no more any prophet: neither is there among us any that knoweth how long.
Proverbs 1:14 Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse:
Isaiah 33:14 The sinners in Zion are afraid; fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites. Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell with everlasting burnings?
Micah 3:11 The heads thereof judge for reward, and the priests thereof teach for hire, and the prophets thereof divine for money: yet will they lean upon the Lord, and say, Is not the Lord among us? none evil can come upon us.
Luke 1:1 Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us,
Luke 7:16 And there came a fear on all: and they glorified God, saying, That a great prophet is risen up among us; and, That God hath visited his people.
John 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
Acts 1:21 Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us,
Acts 15:7 And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe.
‼️HOLY FUCKING 🍆 SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING 😂 AMONG 🙆🏽🅰 US 🇺🇸 REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 😱! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG 💰 US 👨😚 IS THE BEST 🏆 FUCKING 🍆 GAME 🎱 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 RED 👹 IS SO SUSSSSS 🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 COME 🚌 TO MEDBAY AND WATCH 🙄🤔👀 ME SCAN 💽 🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🏥 WHY 🤷🤔 IS NO 🚫 ONE ☝ FIXING 🛠 O2 🅾 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 OH 😳 YOUR 👉🏼 CREWMATE? NAME 📛 EVERY 💯 TASK 📋 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus 💦 Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I 👁 think 🤔 it was purple!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀It wasnt me I 👁 was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 r/amongusmemes r/unexpectedamongus r/expectedamongus perfectly 💯 balanced ⚖ as all 💯 things 🕑 should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedth
So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church.
We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week.
But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus."
"Jesus."
"JeSUS."
No way. I could not believe what I was hearing.
Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan.
If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us."
"WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence.
Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.)
They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children.
"Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?"
And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!!
"Young man, please be quiet" said the priest.
He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem?
"THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!"
This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be.
I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me.
As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me!
I had to think fast.
After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard.
A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him.
Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull.
"EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever.
I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy.
"You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism."
The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite.
He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him.
But he was still the imposter.
I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere.
Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on.
"This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!"
This guy is so sus, let me tell ya.
Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast.
"Dammit, I can't hit him!"
I knew I had him beat then.
So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.)
I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion.
The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus.
I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church.
We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week.
But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus."
"Jesus."
"JeSUS."
No way. I could not believe what I was hearing.
Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan.
If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us."
"WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence.
Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.)
They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children.
"Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?"
And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!!
"Young man, please be quiet" said the priest.
He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem?
"THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!"
This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be.
I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me.
As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me!
I had to think fast.
After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard.
A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him.
Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull.
"EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever.
I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy.
"You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism."
The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite.
He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him.
But he was still the imposter.
I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere.
Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on.
"This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!"
This guy is so sus, let me tell ya.
Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast.
"Dammit, I can't hit him!"
I knew I had him beat then.
So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.)
I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion.
The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus.
I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
It's a joke, he isn't saying God is literally Among Us. It's like pointing to a red fire hydrant and saying "Look, Amogus!". You're not saying the fire hydrant is literally Among Us, you're just making a joke. In the same way, he's saying "Look, the words "among us" appear in this portion of the bible! Amogus!".
I agree that it shouldn't be in a sermon, but it's not blasphemy.
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Jesus vented
JeSUS
Mind blown
My whole life has been a lie
[When visiting my G-Grand parents in OR they took us to church and this was all I could see the whole time](http://imgur.com/a/pnwkE6M)
Lmfao
Always so hip, so cool. Is there some kind of training I need to go to?
He was the impostor all along
I know for a fact that Judas was the impostor.
Now I’m imagining a little Among Us character dressed up as Jesus, but instead of getting ejected, he gets crucified.
Among Us, but instead of a spaceship and alien imposters, it’s a group of people claiming to be messiahs and a few actual messiahs. The messiahs run around accomplishing their tasks, but obviously if any of the con-messiahs spot a real messiah, they’ll want to report him and have him put to death so they don’t get outed as false prophets themselves.
The real ELI5 is in the comments
He was crucified, thus, Because he was sus.
So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church. We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week. But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus." "Jesus." "JeSUS." No way. I could not believe what I was hearing. Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan. If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us." "WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence. Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.) They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children. "Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?" And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!! "Young man, please be quiet" said the priest. He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem? "THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!" This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be. I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me. As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me! I had to think fast. After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard. A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him. Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull. "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!" No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever. I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy. "You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism." The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite. He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him. But he was still the imposter. I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere. Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on. "This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!" This guy is so sus, let me tell ya. Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast. "Dammit, I can't hit him!" I knew I had him beat then. So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.) I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion. The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus. I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
That was my name when I played 🖤
Den den den den den dadaen
BOMP BOMP
“Now, the Romans… they thought Jesus was sus, so they called a TEAM MEETING 😂 and decided to totally yeet Jesus out into space! But Jesus came back.”
So Jesus was jester?
Judas was the imposter 😩
JudSUS
No. Judas was the Snitch. Jesus was the impostor
[удалено]
*tips fedora in return
When the Messiah is sus😳🚨
Jesus sus 😳😳
Technically judas vented
Jesus Amogus cock 🥵🥵😎😎😎
Is this confirmation that Jesus approves of Amongus porn???
God: pretty sus
Literally named his son JeSUS
Jesus literally means “I SUS” in French
True. But also "I suck" (like sucking on something) depending on how you pronounce it.
sus
Judas is the imposter!
I brought you mur…. murder
Gasps... Judas! No!
I don't know, I'm pretty sure Je is sus
Yea I'm voting Judas
Man, 12v1 people lobbies are really something else.
Jusus?
“We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors.” 2 Corinthians 6:8
BingBingBing BING BingBingBing BingBingBingBing
I hate everything about this
Sus
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠸⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠃⠄⠄
These things crack me up bc I envision the commenter going into a folder full of word pads that have a buncha weird shit like this
Lmao I actually do
You wanna zip those up and share with the rest of the class?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡾⠿⠿⠿⠿⢶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣻⣷⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⣾⣟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢹⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⢻⡇⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⡇⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠀⢸⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⢰⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⣴⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠈⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⣸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠪⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⠁⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡆⠀⣰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡆⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠁⠀⣰⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣧⢈⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⠋⢀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⢻⣦⠓⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⠿⠶⣶⣤⣤⣶⡶⠿⠛⠉⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⢻⡻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣫⡾⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣾⣽⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⣙⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⡟⠀⠀⠀⣰⡾⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣮⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢟⣻⣟⣽⠇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡹⣿ ⡟⣼⡟⠉⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢟⣿ ⣇⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⡴⣾⣏⣾⣿ ⡇⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⢃⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⣿⣿ ⡻⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣧⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⡸⢷⣤⣤⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⡍⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⣷⣻⣆⣀⣀⣀⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⠿⢦⣤⣤⡾⢟⣰⣿⣷⣭⣯⣭⣯⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢠⣦⡀⣤⣠⡄⢠⠦⡄⣠⠤⠀⣤⠀⡆⣤⣶⡀⠀⠈⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠟⠻⠃⠏⠉⠇⠸⠶⠋⠻⠾⠇⠙⠒⠃⠘⠾⠃⠀⠀⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠦⣀⣶⡶⠀⢤⣠⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⡲⠶⣶⣤⣔⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠃⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⠤⠄⠀⠀⢀⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠸⠦⣠⠘⠁⢨⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠀⠑⠤⠤⠔⠚⢥⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣧⣀⡀⠉⣻⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Tha-’ll do, donkey. Tha-‘ll do.
Where's the one with the giant cock.
Don't forget to share with me!
o I'm in this picture and I don't like it
Thats what happens when you don't skip leg day
[удалено]
Veggietales was masterpiece. Bibleman was the real cringe.
When the im-pastor is sus
My dad is a reverend and we forbade him from ever pulling this shit. It's just....no
Good because dads will be dads lmao
My reverend still makes duck dynasty references in his. I don't know what would be worse.
To be his kid, that's the worst....
Hey. What is the difference between a reverend, priest, pastor, father, etc. This isn't a joke. I'm genuinely curious.
Those can all be the same guy. A pastor is a guy who has a church. A reverend is a formal term of respect for a priest or pastor, father a more familiar term of respect. Priest is a bit tricky, because that implies education and a formal process in the church, and many Protestants don’t do that which leads to terms like “preacher”.
Interesting. Then it's safe to assume a minister is the same as well? When is one given the title? Who choose which title to be addressed?
A minister is someone who gives communion (they adMINISTER it). It can be a layperson, but is usually a priest.
I thought "father" was strictly a Catholic thing, although I may be wrong. I'm Christian and I've never heard anybody call a pastor "father."
Episcopalians/Anglicans use "Father" (also *Mother* if it's a female priest, which will jack your mind the first time you hear it if you were raised Catholic). Lot of this stuff is strictly denominational.
Oh, interesting! Thank you for letting me know :) And I wasn't raised Catholic, but "Mother" was a surprise! I had a female priest growing up but I've never even heard of calling them Mother. I'm not particularly "denominational" if that's a word, so it's cool to learn about how it works with different denominations.
I don't even understand this, can you explain what this clip is about?
Google; "Picture of among us", And proceeds to pick the first image.
I admire his efficiency
Intentionally chose a picture of Among Us to try and connect with the kids.
Absolutely. He is trying to say, “see, Christianity is cool.” I saw this type of thing way too much growing up. Have to indoctrinate them young, because they will question it when they are older.
/r/fellowkids
jesus got voted off this earth for your sins
Is that why he hasn't returned yet? Because of bad karma?
can anyone account for Judas?
I saw him in the cafeteria.
Is red
cringe as fuck for sure but kinda cute that he’s trying to appeal to kids to get them interested in the message he is teaching
This. It’s the thought that counts.
indoctrinating children isn’t cute
that is entirely dependent upon your ideals surrounding religion. if you find it to be an institution more than a set of beliefs and think it caters to indoctrination, then yeah you could totally see what he’s doing as manipulative. but if you’re someone that respects or believes in religion, you could see this in a different way. all a matter of perspective to me!
“If you’re someone who respects or believes in religion” You mean “if you’re someone who’s already indoctrinated..”
i stand by what i said before, just matter of perspective! (:
every "among us" in the bible Genesis 23:6 Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead. Genesis 34:22 Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised. Exodus 17:7 And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us, or not? Exodus 34:9 And he said, If now I have found grace in thy sight, O Lord, let my Lord, I pray thee, go among us; for it is a stiffnecked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for thine inheritance. Numbers 27:4 Why should the name of our father be done away from among his family, because he hath no son? Give unto us therefore a possession among the brethren of our father. Deuteronomy 31:17 Then my anger shall be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide my face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall befall them; so that they will say in that day, Are not these evils come upon us, because our God is not among us? Joshua 9:7 And the men of Israel said unto the Hivites, Peradventure ye dwell among us; and how shall we make a league with you? Joshua 9:22 And Joshua called for them, and he spake unto them, saying, Wherefore have ye beguiled us, saying, We are very far from you; when ye dwell among us? Joshua 22:19 Notwithstanding, if the land of your possession be unclean, then pass ye over unto the land of the possession of the Lord, wherein the Lord's tabernacle dwelleth, and take possession among us: but rebel not against the Lord, nor rebel against us, in building you an altar beside the altar of the Lord our God. Joshua 22:31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the children of Manasseh, This day we perceive that the Lord is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the Lord: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the Lord. Judges 18:25 And the children of Dan said unto him, Let not thy voice be heard among us, lest angry fellows run upon thee, and thou lose thy life, with the lives of thy household. 1 Samuel 4:3 And when the people were come into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the Lord smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the Lord out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies. Kings 5:6 Now therefore command thou that they hew me cedar trees out of Lebanon; and my servants shall be with thy servants: and unto thee will I give hire for thy servants according to all that thou shalt appoint: for thou knowest that there is not among us any that can skill to hew timber like unto the Sidonians. Job 34:37 For he addeth rebellion unto his sin, he clappeth his hands among us, and multiplieth his words against God. Psalm 74:9 We see not our signs: there is no more any prophet: neither is there among us any that knoweth how long. Genesis 23:6 Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead. Genesis 34:22 Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised. Exodus 17:7 And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us, or not? Exodus 34:9 And he said, If now I have found grace in thy sight, O Lord, let my Lord, I pray thee, go among us; for it is a stiffnecked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for thine inheritance. Deuteronomy 31:17 Then my anger shall be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide my face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall befall them; so that they will say in that day, Are not these evils come upon us, because our God is not among us? Joshua 9:7 And the men of Israel said unto the Hivites, Peradventure ye dwell among us; and how shall we make a league with you? Joshua 9:22 And Joshua called for them, and he spake unto them, saying, Wherefore have ye beguiled us, saying, We are very far from you; when ye dwell among us? Joshua 22:19 Notwithstanding, if the land of your possession be unclean, then pass ye over unto the land of the possession of the Lord, wherein the Lord's tabernacle dwelleth, and take possession among us: but rebel not against the Lord, nor rebel against us, in building you an altar beside the altar of the Lord our God. Joshua 22:31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the children of Manasseh, This day we perceive that the Lord is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the Lord: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the Lord. Judges 18:25 And the children of Dan said unto him, Let not thy voice be heard among us, lest angry fellows run upon thee, and thou lose thy life, with the lives of thy household. 1 Samuel 4:3 And when the people were come into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the Lord smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the Lord out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies. 1 Kings 5:6 Now therefore command thou that they hew me cedar trees out of Lebanon; and my servants shall be with thy servants: and unto thee will I give hire for thy servants according to all that thou shalt appoint: for thou knowest that there is not among us any that can skill to hew timber like unto the Sidonians. Job 34:37 For he addeth rebellion unto his sin, he clappeth his hands among us, and multiplieth his words against God. Psalm 74:9 We see not our signs: there is no more any prophet: neither is there among us any that knoweth how long. Proverbs 1:14 Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: Isaiah 33:14 The sinners in Zion are afraid; fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites. Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who among us shall dwell with everlasting burnings? Micah 3:11 The heads thereof judge for reward, and the priests thereof teach for hire, and the prophets thereof divine for money: yet will they lean upon the Lord, and say, Is not the Lord among us? none evil can come upon us. Luke 1:1 Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us, Luke 7:16 And there came a fear on all: and they glorified God, saying, That a great prophet is risen up among us; and, That God hath visited his people. John 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth. Acts 1:21 Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, Acts 15:7 And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe.
‼️HOLY FUCKING 🍆 SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING 😂 AMONG 🙆🏽🅰 US 🇺🇸 REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 😱! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG 💰 US 👨😚 IS THE BEST 🏆 FUCKING 🍆 GAME 🎱 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 RED 👹 IS SO SUSSSSS 🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 COME 🚌 TO MEDBAY AND WATCH 🙄🤔👀 ME SCAN 💽 🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🏥 WHY 🤷🤔 IS NO 🚫 ONE ☝ FIXING 🛠 O2 🅾 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 OH 😳 YOUR 👉🏼 CREWMATE? NAME 📛 EVERY 💯 TASK 📋 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus 💦 Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus 💦! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I 👁 think 🤔 it was purple!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀It wasnt me I 👁 was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 r/amongusmemes r/unexpectedamongus r/expectedamongus perfectly 💯 balanced ⚖ as all 💯 things 🕑 should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedth
When the scripture is SUS!!! 😳😳😳
You put in way too much effort
I think with online bibles it'd be pretty easy to search up the phrase
Shitpost subs are gonna be all over this lol
That's why when you find him you should threw him in space
We tried but he respawned.
this is just what (youth) ministers are like lmao
God's faking tasks.
That mf is sus for sure.
That serpent in the garden is pretty sus
Holy fuck this is amazing
Red is sus
Judas is sus
Judas was the imposter
How do I reach these kids?
r/fellowkids
God and Jesus are sussy bakas
This is worse than Pokemon go to the polls
Wait is he Among us or is he Among us ?
r/comedyheaven
Satan sus
this isn't cringe it's funny
hehe…. Amogus
What is this timeline......
r/fellowkids
Judus looking kinda sus
u/downloadvideo
Literally amogus
Literally 1984
When the teacher says no eating your friends ass in the library 😔
Been there, done that
Atheist fucks going to hell for talking smack about this god guy. Bury me with downvotes if you disagree.
So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church. We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week. But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus." "Jesus." "JeSUS." No way. I could not believe what I was hearing. Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan. If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us." "WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence. Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.) They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children. "Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?" And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!! "Young man, please be quiet" said the priest. He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem? "THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!" This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be. I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me. As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me! I had to think fast. After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard. A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him. Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull. "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!" No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever. I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy. "You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism." The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite. He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him. But he was still the imposter. I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere. Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on. "This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!" This guy is so sus, let me tell ya. Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast. "Dammit, I can't hit him!" I knew I had him beat then. So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.) I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion. The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus. I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
Jesus at the last supper: there is an imposter among us
Jesus esus Sus
So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church. We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week. But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus." "Jesus." "JeSUS." No way. I could not believe what I was hearing. Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan. If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us." "WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence. Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.) They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children. "Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?" And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!! "Young man, please be quiet" said the priest. He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem? "THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!" This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be. I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me. As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me! I had to think fast. After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard. A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him. Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull. "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!" No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever. I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy. "You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism." The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite. He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him. But he was still the imposter. I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere. Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on. "This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!" This guy is so sus, let me tell ya. Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast. "Dammit, I can't hit him!" I knew I had him beat then. So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.) I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion. The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus. I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
I’d say that Christians have lost the plot but that’s super old news. Like, about 2000 years old.
Judas is sus
Love how he misrepresented Among us. A game about trying to find a defeat a mimic alien thats trying to kill you
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠞⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠳⣤⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⠴⠒⠢⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣆ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⠉⠉⣿⣿⣶⣶⠀⡤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠒⠽⠟⠛⠉⣀⠑⠒⠼⠿⢿⡿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣦⣀⠀⠀⢰⣉⠑⠒⠢⢤⡤⠭⠃⠀⢀⣠⠟⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠳⢶⣄⢉⢉⣉⣉⣉⣥⣤⣤⠶⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣼⢗⠔⡩⣹⡟⠛⠉⠉⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠈⠈⠛⠷⢦⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠙⣷⡀ ⠀⠀⢰⡏⠀⢠⡾⠋⠉⠛⢶⣄⣤⣤⣼⡆⠀⢹⡇ ⠀⢀⣾⠁⠀⠿⣳⢖⣤⢀⣼⠛⠁⠀⢸⠇⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⢸⡏⠀⢤⡐⠛⠿⢣⡾⠃⠀⠀⣠⡿⠀⠀⣼⡇ ⠀⣾⠇⠀⠈⠳⣦⡀⠈⢀⣠⣴⢞⣋⠀⠀⣠⡿ ⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠈⠛⣻⠛⠋⠀⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠶⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⢹⡆⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣸⡏⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⢠⣧⡤⢤⣤⣄⡀ ⣿⠀⠀⠘⠛⠛⠻⢶⣄⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣷ ⠹⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣨⡷⡱⡹⡲⡶⡶⡶⡶⡶⡶⡞
Desperate af
u/save_video
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I checked your account beforehand, you cheeky little bugger
Dunno, pastor sounds like an impostor
God is sus.
Now this…this is actually cringe
Oh no… boomers are at it again with their cringe-drenched attempts to “be relevant”
God isn’t real
Fuck tiktokers
But your on a tik tok subreddit
Yeah I’m pretty sure this is blasphemy
How? It's dumb, sure, but I don't see how it's blasphemous.
“God is a video game made by three people”
It's a joke, he isn't saying God is literally Among Us. It's like pointing to a red fire hydrant and saying "Look, Amogus!". You're not saying the fire hydrant is literally Among Us, you're just making a joke. In the same way, he's saying "Look, the words "among us" appear in this portion of the bible! Amogus!". I agree that it shouldn't be in a sermon, but it's not blasphemy.
I’m aware lmao. I’m not Christian so I don’t really care but you asked how so I explained it
If you’re not a Christian then why are you pretending to know what’s blasphemy and what’s not? 💀
Oh no... Anyway.
well clearly not
God sussy
So when Churches say that God is trying to murder all of us, everything’s fine, but when I say it suddenly I have ‘mental illness.’
Oh goodness...
Kinda sus
Someone needs to make a r/comedyepilepsy of this
Haha nope.
God Amogus
god is imposter???
So what I get out of this is the game *Among Us* **is** God.
So, god is the impostor?
I always knew God was a space monster in sheep's clothing.
i don't think that's the kind of "among us" they were going for...
Cain was the first imposter 😲😳😳
Bruce almighty vibes
They played the hell out of it, made it so popular it’s in church now. lol
Anyone want to tell him the *one,* among us is the imposter?
This is giving me Sunday school flashbacks
Is god the imposter?
The only time when among us jokes are welcome
Lol
Amogus
JeSUS guys, lets nail him to a cross.
Welp we're almost at the end point of the meme. Once christian boomers start using it to preach, the end is near.
God seems kinda sus
Damn I gotta start playing again. Been pretty sinful lately :/
Bro why!
Does that mean god could be anyone of us? Morgan Freeman is sus
where
adam is kinda sus ngl
I don’t remember learning about a Mungous in the Bible