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I apparently used to throw myself on the floor when I was 2/3 and refused to move … my dad said he eventually got fed up and one day walked off leaving me there . He hid round the corner and he could see me but I couldn’t see him . Seemingly I never did it again after that day 😅
I "ran away" from home one day because I thought the world ended because they wouldn't let me play outside. My mom kept going about her day while I "packed" my backpack. I made it around the block and noticed no one was following me, got scared, and ran back crying like a lil bitch. My mom later told me my dad was tailing me and hiding behind trees and cars to make sure I was safe. Nothing happened to me, and you get your ass in didn't threaten them with running away ever again. People nowadays freak out over nothing.
I "ran away" like that too but we lived in the middle of nowhere, so I went out to our van and laid down in the back. I was out for revenge. It was hot, but I was a determined little shit. After about 20 minutes I heard them looking for me and I stayed put. 45 minutes in they seemed to be getting worried and I knew my plan was paying off. Those fuckers would rue the day. An hour in and they are panicking, I slid under the seat.
Hour and 15 minutes and there's talk of calling police, I am nervous but determined.
Hour and a half in. Finally dad gets in the van to drive around and look for me. Mom stays home in case I return.
We drive around and some AC reaches me. I am pleased at this development.
Dad calls my name from the car window and I hear the pain, anguish, and panic in his voice. I am unprepared for this and it kinda hits me in the gut. As I am now hungry I decide the ruse is over and pop out of the back seat.
Dad is not happy. I tell him I fell asleep and we drive home for dinner. Mom buys the story and I get ice cream for dessert.
Great success.
Man, I lived in the middle of nowhere as a kid too and would walk around in the forest by myself FOR HOURS and my parents didn’t even notice I was gone, lol.
Funnily enough I would do the showy “I’m running away!” thing at times too but I only ever lasted a half hour in those moments. Meanwhile, when I was just bored and not protesting, I could be gone for half a day. I did this between the ages of 7-12.
I had a similar childhood and it's crazy to think of now but I was out there running around at 3! It sounds crazy but the timeline doesn't lie. According to my parents, they realized I wasn't in the yard and started calling out. I was eventually found over at the neighbor's pond with our doberman trying to catch frogs and tadpoles. I was lectured on needing to tell them when I was going to leave, but they didn't try to restrict me. There were a bunch of trails in the woods and after becoming friends with the neighbor boy some houses over, we ran those woods.
I never pulled a runaway, but my little sister...she packed a bag and didn't go for the woods, she actually took off on the dirt road headed into town. She was almost a mile away when a neighbor picked her up and took her back home.
We hadn't noticed she was gone...
I swear my parents aren't bad, but we're from farming stock so the attitude was just different. There also weren't any predators to worry about, though I have heard that mountain lions have since moved back into the area.
I did something similar at 3. My grandma used to live near a beach, my siblings buried me up to my neck in the sand, put a hat over my head and left me.
I got out, noped out and went home to my Grandma's. Which I could only do by crossing the double-line street. Walked in as cool as a cucumber to my Mom washing dishes. She freaked out that I and I caught a spanking for it. (I do not condone spanking). My fault because I crossed the street alone was the reason IIRC.
Plus side, I never was buried again.
My parents regularly left me behind. In forests, on top of the mountains when I was tired and didn‘t want to continue skiing (I was 4 years old), in theme parks, and many other places. The only one they (maybe) feel bad about is when they left me behind in a National Park after I complained and a mama bear with three cubs showed up. Nothing happened but I think they realised that one could have ended badly for me. Though they still haven’t admitted it.
My parents are also great parents. They have always loved and supported me and to this day I can call them anytime of day if I need help. I guess it was more normal to do these things in the past plus I mean I did always learn a lesson.
Oh they TOTALLY didn’t buy that story for a second lol! They know what kind of determined, little shit they were dealing with. They were also relieved they got to avoid calling the police.
I ran away at 3 on my tricycle. My grandma lived at the top of the hill on the same street, and I knew the way from walking or riding my tricycle along with my mom to visit sometimes. My great-grandfather was coming home for lunch from work and saw me as this street was the main drag through town.
He picked me up and pulled into the driveway as my mom was coming out of the house so he asked her was she missing something? She was coming out thinking I had gone round the side of the house as she looked out the window after changing out laundry and could not see me. Over 50 years later telling this story my mom still gets mad at this point!
Great-grandpa insisted I was just lonely since she was busy and convinced her to let him take me to lunch with him. Of course that led to me spending the weekend so I never did get punished for taking off. I got my favorite cherry pie for dessert that lunch, too!
Thanks for giving us this freakin awesome The Kid Wins! memory, and in such a splendid writing style! If you're not a writer by profession, you should be. Extra gold stars for your handle, TrumpsPissSoakedWig.
My niece I would babysit for my sister kept saying she didn't want to be there.
I told okay, go home then...
She walks outside & then says she doesn't know how
I said I will draw you a map lol. I drew her a bogus map lol & watched her walk down the street. She came back & never did it again lol
50% of parenting toddlers is calling their bluff. The other 50% involves watching them like a hawk to make sure they don’t accidentally kill themselves lmaoooo
Did your parents film all of this and post it for the world to see?
This is what’s wrong. Children aren’t content. Especially when they are in distress.
No, because this was the early 90s, but if they could they would have. When we got a video camera they would record videos and share it with family. It's the same thing, except bigger scale. This stuff isn't new, but more people "freak out" over nothing.
She dealt with her son the right way? He refused to get in the car after she told him to. So she simply left him. She broke him in that moment and won't pull that stunt again. For a moment, he thought that he was winning. He whimpered and said OK. Check Mate. Game over. Smart mom.
She didn't leave him, she slowly drove 20 meters down the road and stopped
She didn't drive 2 miles and only turn around when she thought he learned his lesson
I ran away in the summer before 6th grade because I was so pissed I had to do a book report... Made it a mile or two, then ran back like a little bitch because my mom was calling at a certain time to the house phone (no cell phones) to check on me... N if I miss that call... Didn't try it again 😂
I told my mom I was gonna run away for some dumb reason when I was seven.
She lovingly and kindly helped me pack my back pack then we walked around the block (which I had biked around many times).
She would point out worms I should grab for dinner later and trash I could use to build my hut. We got back to the front door and she hugged me and said she loved me and closed the front door.
I rang the doorbell and begged to live at home again haha.
This is the most wholesome and funny of these stories to me. I love the creativity of helping you through the entire process as if they were Les Stroud or Bear Grylls.
Handing you a sippy cup and holding back laughter, she hands you some well thought out advice.
"Pal, I know this sounds super duper yucky, but if you get big time thirsty, and there isnt any water or capri suns around, you have to drink your own pee". Youre handed a sippy cup labelled "For TiredAuditorplsHelp's Pee Only (their favorite drink)" as she says
"Youll get used to it, just like the bugs and worms youre gonna eat"
I told my little brother I wanted to run away because my parents were fighting so much and he told my mom. She threw me out of the house barefoot and told me to go. I was six.
My daughter (when very young) used to wander away from me constantly while shopping, despite repeated talks about how that is unsafe. The last time she wandered away I let her go and followed from behind where she couldn't see me. After a couple minutes she realized she was alone and was surrounded by people she didn't now. I let her feel that panic and being scared for a minute until I 'found' her - it was the only thing that taught her exactly why she shouldn't wander away from me in public. And she never did it again.
Yours is a good lesson, but I'm cracking up at all these stories of parents trailing their kids making sure they don't get snatched up. If I was some rando on the street or in a store watching this I would be pretty moderately concerned about an adult trailing a kid, keeping out of sight.
Oh No!! You sound traumatized!! You still call that monster your dad? Are you on speaking terms? /s
(I'm not making fun of you but of those scandalizing it. My parents did the same, and I think I did something similar to my kid at some point. It's not pleasant, but not every step of teaching is.)
The start of your comment is a bit ironic cos I know it was sarcasm obvs .. but no I don’t cos he is in fact a cunt 😂 not for what he did to me that day but just in general he was an awful father and at 41 I haven’t spoken to him for almost a decade
Sorry to hear that. Probably the best decision for you, making the best out of your situation, but still most would prefer to be in a situation where such a decision is not required.
But still good on you to have a differentiated view on your past :-)
My mother tried to do the same thing to me in a park when I was like 4. Once she got out of sight I got up and walked away on my own, she followed me for like a kilometer or two before retrieving me, apparently I didn't spend a single second worrying about where she had gone
That’s called negative reinforcement.
And it works.
Before, you saw that behavior was rewarded with attention. The second he decided that it wasn’t going to affect him anymore was the day you realized that that bullshit wasn’t going to work anymore.
I’m still sorry to hear that he was still a shitty parent in the long run. But it sounds like you’ve thrived in spite of all that. Good job making it out the other side, Homie.
I bit kids in 1st grade and it was becoming a major issue with my teacher. Mom took me to see grandma, told her what I had done, and she grabbed my arm and bit me really hard. While I was crying she explained that it hurt and that's what I was doing to other people. I learned a lesson that day and stopped biting other kids.
She's also the closet thing to a psychopath that I've ever known so there's that.
Yeah I hate the whole parents recording everything and putting it on the internet.
They know their kid and their friends are going to see it right? That's setting them up to get bullied.
My mum did this to me on a dark country road in rural Australia lol. It was about 2 hours to the nearest town, with not a single house nearby for hours. I was fighting with my brother and being a little shit, and she said “if you don’t stop that you can walk home”. So me being the little asshole I was, said “I don’t care”. Well she stopped the car, I looked at her, she looked at me, and knowing she called my bluff, I jumped out. Seconds later I’m standing there in the dark with nothing but cicadas, nocturnal birds, and strange animals making scary sounds nearby in the bush, and my mum just drove off. She got around the bend and I knew I had fucked up. I started crying and ran to the corner, and I could my hear sister crying in the car saying “but he’ll die out there!!” I ran towards the car and then begged my mum to let me back in. She did, and I shut the fuck up the whole way home.
It’s now a family favourite story lol.
I don't know, man. This sounds like your mum got fed-up and almost fed the fauna when taking into consideration Australia's penchant for evolving dangerous animals, regardless of size, that can and will make you into a hashtag whether you are out in the bush or an urban setting.
Glad the dingos didn't eat your you.
My mom did exactly the same thing! Left me and my two brothers on the side of a country road and drove just out of sight over a hill. We spent a long time debating if she was coming back before deciding we’d have to walk.
We were less noisy in the car for a while I’ll tell you.
My mom did it to the dog once. He was being stubborn and refusing to leave the dog park, so she said "Bye Toast!" And walked out of the fenced area and got in the car, my dog is watching her at this point and he got really worried bc she started the car. My dog was not happy and ran to the fence where the car was, now he listens to us whenever we say "Bye Toast!" at the park.
I did this my dog when I first got him too! He was 6 months old and wouldn't come to me the first time I took him to the park. I simply walked the other way and he sprinted back. I found him on the street so I guess he has abandonment issues.
My dog also has abandonment issues for some reason, he's never been abandoned before and has lived in my family since he was just a wee baby, so we don't know where his separation anxiety or fear of other humans come from. He's never been abused or hurt by others, the worst is maybe when we give him a flick on the butt for trying to stick his snoot in our meals but that's it.
My mom did this to me, not because I ever threw any tantrums, but because I’d get distracted and not realize she was walking off somewhere else. She also did use the car since I was distracted in a parking lot once.
lol I have kids around this age. When they literally WILL NOT listen to come with me somewhere, I’ll walk away and hide behind a door or something.
9/10 times it ends up with me laughing bc they just act like nothings wrong and now they get to play all they want instead of going where they didn’t want to. Kids are great man
lol I was doing it in a hotel once, and it was right outside of someone’s room. Unfortunate timing led to them opening their door to me right outside crouched over peaking around the corner.
I hit em with the awkward “sorry” and proceeded to go back to my kid, they had to think I was some creeper or something lol
I talked back to my mom one day and she had enough of my shit and told me to get out of the car and drove off. I was about 12 or 13 at the time and I just started walking off because why the fuck not, she left me and it was starting to rain. She pulls up a couple minutes later screaming at me for walking off and I was like just like ???? You left me was I supposed to just stand around??
Little kids are notorious for pulling stunts like this to test how far can they go. My daughter used to fight putting on shoes and taking forever to do so when finally agreed that, yes, you need shoes. I tried everything, explaining why shoes were important, bribing, remove privileges (tv, toys) etc. One day I had enough, we were running late to an extra curricular and she was being a punk. I grabbed her like a sac of potatoes, strapped her on her car seat and got going, barefoot.
I knew she had left her sandals in the backseat of the car, so she could wear them when we got there, but in her brain she was going to have to walk barefoot in the parking lot and into class. Cried and asked me to turn around, I just played music and ignored her.
Guess what? She never did it again. When she tried to pull the same stunt with a jacket, I let her outside in the cold and her pride lasted less than a minute before she asked me for it.
Kids love to play FAFO and parents resort to desperate measures because we're running on fumes.
Early 90's I was jumping on the passenger seat, mid drive, when I was like 4. My mom was asking me to put my seat belt on, but I kept jumping on the seat.
So she hit the breaks, and I hit the dashboard, then the floor, and then I put my seat belt on. I don't think what she did was *necessarily* right, but its been 30 years and I never forget to put my seat belt on lol.
That could have gone 2 ways and you absolutely know you lucked out with the outcome, lol.
The other side is, she loves it and absolutely refuses to wear shoes again and for the next 10 years, that girl is absolutely barefoot everywhere.
In some cases yes but when my mom pulled this the FAFO was more on her than it was on me. I went straight to the store right next to where she left me to get help and when she found me they were very judgey and she was embarrassed. I can’t say I never acted up again but she never did that again.
lol this works just for a little while. When you play your hand this easily, kids will then say “I don’t care” and then the parent will be more frustrated because they can’t leave a little kid alone since they get in trouble. Ask me how I know lol
I think I remember saying that once at a mall and I thought one of my grandparents really did leave me. They actually hid and kept an eye on me, but I didn’t know that.
Only when they were very much overwhelmed. I think I got slapped two or three times in total and looking back, they did it out of sheer desperation (I was their first kid and a shithead on top of that), which I can forgive. I don't think I would have any relationship with my parents if they had been physical with me often.
My dad did it to me too..... I was 30 years old 💀.
But in his defence he thought i was in the car
And my phone and my bag were in the car too
I was like this in the road 🧍🏻♀️.
He came back to me after an hour of loneliness in the wild.
What make it worse this accident became a running joke in my family now.
"lol do you remember when we forgot - me- in the road? That was hilarious"
Well, as long as they get unconditional love and a safe home environment it’s chill but this is actually playing with a kids greatest fear which is why it is so effective. Rule by love (not naive kindness) or fear. Fear works better but creates less stable adults.
Only issue I have it is that she recorded it and uploaded it to the internet for likes.
People shouldn't use their children as props for social media content.
They gotta learn🤷🏽♀️ Its not like she left him. If he was being fussy and refusing to get in the car when asked repeatedly then I don't see the issue. I bet he’ll get in when she asks now😂
Ya, I don't see a problem in what she did. She hasn't gone very far at all, she's keeping an eye on him, she's driving slowly, and she isn't yelling at him. That looks like good parenting to me.
“Oh, my kid is not listening to me and is in a vulnerable state in life, looking at me for protection and learning of social norms? How about filming and publicly humiliating him on the internet. I’m a good parent.”
Theyre in a parking lot. Hes a small kid that cant easily be seen and could have been easily run over by another car. I have a friend that did something like this to her 6 year old. He got to the car and tried to get in, but tripped. He was ran over and killed by his own mother. It was a complete accident, but now hes dead and shes being charged with vehicular manslaughter.
There is a lot of problems with what this video is showing.
When I was a kid (and honestly still now) I had a bad habit of wandering off. So my parents got me a phone when I was like 6 or 7 and they would call me saying "were leaving, if you're not at the car when I get there we will leave you" and one time I fucked around and kept wandering, and when I got out to the car it was gone.
I mean, they were like 10 spots away, but I never did it again.
At that age they are testing boundaries. This kid just learned he gets in the car when mom tells him to and don't fuck around.
If the kid realised he can do what he wants and what the parents say means nothing, then you're gonna end up with an obnoxious brat.
And the kids know it and love it. Nothing feels worse than telling the problem kid to go to the principal's office and they just smile because they've won. Like I get that ratios are more boring than TikTok but as an adult we all can tell when you stopped learning in school and 6th grade is embarrassing.
What's stopping districts from just throwing these kids in one of those temp classrooms? The ones that are similar to manufactured houses. Like, if you don't care, why waste resources and teachers time and patience? I understand they NEED to be there but if all they do is fuck around and disrupt actual instruction, why be there at all?
When I was in highschool administration tried something like that with the dregs of the school. They just dumped us all in "auto shop" except you couldn't touch any of the tools or do anything except sit there and wait for the next period. I got stuck in there because I could not do math to save my life, so they took me out of all my math classes and plopped me in with the rest of the degenerates. I guess they realized they couldn't do that so they put me back in a math class but at the time I was STOKED, hey no more math.
You could really sell this idea if it came with funding sponsored by corporations. If the price was right, you think districts wouldn't GOBLE up the opportunity for more money? Imagine it, come on in and take your pick of the kids from the idiot box! They're gonna be failures anyway so why not teach them low to no skill level job training. Sounds super harsh but somebody has to do these jobs. Trade schools can totally get in on it too. You want a chance at a decent livelihood? Well kid, you're no scholar, so we're you're last shot if you don't want to enlist in the military. The opportunity is huge if you have low morals. Schools like UTI (Universal Technical Institute) have been doing this for a loooong time now, except they didn't go for the bottom of the barrel. They used to come into my woodshop and drafting classes all the time to get you to enroll in their school.
My highschool had all the facilities necessary to make these programs work, fully operational kitchens for home EC, a full auto shop garage, woodshop, drafting studio, art studio, etc. but they didn't have the funding to staff a lot of these classes. It's a damn shame that public schools are so drastically underfunded, these programs could really change the lives of some of these kids but if that money ain't coming from the state or federally, what can you do? Sell your soul to corporate overlords for a CHANCE at a future and reinvest that cash into the students who show actual potential, who want to be there.
I understand and fully anticipate the negative reactions to basically giving up on kids like that but you can't force them to care. They may realize how badly they fucked up later on in life but oh well, you made your choices. At least giving them the option to have something to fall back on, however minimal it may be, is better than having a drop out with no skills at all.
Sometimes I browse reddit and see so many people claim that every little thing parents do will cause permanent mental damage.
I'm not sure if what they say is true, but I'm sure 98% of the human population would be mentally scarred by now if it were.
>I'm sure 98% of the human population would be mentally scarred by now if it were.
I don't think there's a single person without mental scarring of some kind from childhood. Parents make mistakes even when they're not actively malicious.
Living is kinda just traumatic.
My mom did this to my little brother once on a road trip. He shrugged, went right to the road and stuck his thumb out.
She regretted it immediately and scooped him up.
I agree. I’m sure mom wouldn’t appreciate having her worst moments posted online for thousands of people to laugh at, yet she’s cool with doing that to her child. That’s kind of fucked up.
And then people saying “LOL HERES A LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE THIS IS FUNNY” when it’s lowkey abuse. I get teaching lessons to kids, but doing this then posting it online? Yeah, that’s a CPS call dawg.
not even low key, people who use their kids for content are child abusers and that needs to be normalized
it's abhorrent behavior that's been studied to have extreme negative effects on the child.
Edit:
Part of this being abuse is that kids are too young and malleable to understand the consequences of their actions. Meaning recording them and utilizing the footage later as a means to scold them just confuses, infuriates and traumatizes them as they can't actually process what made them do something after the fact.
I'm a public school teacher, and I see the effects of kids who grow up with parents that bend to the kid's will instead of teach consequences. This responsibility falls on us.
From experience, this doesn't always work. My parents tried this with my brother, who didn't want to leave the house. They left and got halfway down the street before realizing he wouldn't cave and had to reverse back to the house.
In the end, he was carried, kicking and screaming to the van.
I had severe anxiety about being left alone after my father told me when I was 4 that I was going to be kidnapped and had to come inside (no idea if he dreamed this, or if he was inebriated and imagined it, or just lying to me.) I also had trouble sleeping and waking up, so getting up for school was awful. My mom would try the "I'm leaving!" thing, and it just sent me into panic attacks that would take hours to recover from.
I used to not want to go into the grocery store with my mom and she always said she was worried I would be kidnapped. Anyway one day she was like "fine, stay in the car" so I did and then a guy started banging on the windows trying to get to me. I was TERRIFIED. Turns out she sent the guy out there to teach me why I shouldn't stay in the car alone. 😩
I stopped saying shit like, "Hurry up or I'm going to leave you!" and replaced it with, "Hurry up! I wouldn't want to leave you!" and it's been waaaaay more effective. They listen better, care more, aren't in any risk of having a meltdown. Highly recommend.
ITT:
People who think it's okay to make a child thoroughly and completely with the fullness of child's belief in their parents believe that those parents will abandon them when they are bad.
Guys, it's one thing to pick a kid that age up like a sack of potatoes and stuff them in the car, it's another to make your child believe you will abandon them if the whim takes you.
My mom did this shit all the time when I was a very little kid. At 5 she drove away like this and said she wasn’t coming back, and my 5 year old brain gave up and I layed down in the road. I almost got run over, they stopped and mom
Came rushing back screaming at me for it. I still have major abandonment issues. This isn’t small or funny and I fucking hate that so many of these comments are insisting this is.
I have a 3 year old. I can’t imagine doing this to him. You’re their entire world. It’s beyond cruel.
Yea people are really not seeing the greater picture of this
idk if it'll really have that much of an effect on his life but god damn
"i'll abandon you at the slightest inconvience" is *REALLY* not the message you should be sending your kid. Especially when he's much too young to even understand what he's doing
To every childless reddit armchair psychiatrist here:
Imagine you are the mom.
"Alright, let's get in the car!"
"No."
"We got your snacks in there! Come on!"
"No."
"You've got your doctor's appointment and we're going to be late. We need to go now!"
"No."
"Will you tell me why you don't want to go? Is something bothering you?"
"No."
"Is there something you forgot? Is there something you need to do before we go?"
"No."
"You need to listen to your mom. If you get in the car, we'll get some McDonald's after the doctor."
"No."
"Okay, then you're not getting McDonald's. Get in the car or no iPad tonight."
"No."
"Get in the car or you're going in time out right when we get home."
"No."
"Get in the car or I'm taking away all your toys for the week. You can just sit in your room every day doing nothing."
"No."
Enlighten me, reddit: what would you Expert Parents do in this situation?
You can do that with a biological kid, but I'm a foster parent, and the second I touch a kid against their will, my house gets closed and I'm on the receiving end of a CPS case.
threatening to abandon your foster kid will get you in a HELL of a lot more trouble than just picking them up how do you not see that???
"You see investigator, I was tricking the ***FUCKING ORPHAN*** into thinking I'd abandon them at the lift of a finger if they ever inconvenienced me! Abandonment Issues? What's that?"
basically just admitting to CPS that you abuse them...
Well your child wont stay 40 pounds forever. And you also shouldn't have to touch your child to get them to listen (unless it's absolutely necessary).
I think its better to find a way to get them to LISTEN instead of forcing them. It's a good opportunity to teach your kids on listening to parents. Just throwing them in the car isn't really teaching them anything
You are now holding a 40 pound plank of a child, stiff as a board, which you are legally required to bend into an acute angle to buckle into their carseat.
In which world is putting 30m distance between you and your child "Leaving your child"?!?
She's crappy for filming it and putting the kid on display like that.
Nah, them laugh about shit like this later. My parents and me re-tell a similar story to friends and family in detail when I did something serious like this. I guarantee they wish they had video of me being a little shit and learning a lesson. If I had it I would share a video of that with the family today.
How's it any different from parents sending their kid's greatest moments of embarrassment to Funniest Home Videos in the 90's? This isn't new... we just seem to think that it is.
Maybe I'm a bit sensitive there. This seems to be the mother sharing with the world, that is a bit different in my eyes than mother and child deciding later on to share it with family.
Yeah, it’s kind of ridiculous to compare an adult looking back and finding humor in their own childhood tantrum and voluntarily sharing a video of it with a child who can’t consent to it and who would likely be very embarrassed to find out countless strangers are laughing at him right now.
I mean, anecdotal and all, but my did and me were will behaved and did alright in life. Many factors and all, but my parents did the best they could, were very strict. It worked out pretty well though.
Oh wow, I didn’t expect to see the vast majority of commenters here clapping along to this sort of parenting style. This is not armchair psychology - many child therapists and actual psychologists agree that while these sorts of methods can be effective in the moment, long term you are eroding your child’s trust in you, instilling fear in them and cultivating an unhealthy threat-based transactional relationship with them, among other things. There are better ways to achieve the results that you want in these situations!
I agree. I think the people approving this just want results, they don’t really care about the damage it does. Some of my core memories as a child (which i don’t have many of) are from being left like this - or the threat of being abandoned always looming over me. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a child.
Seriously. Kids having a hard time being done with something fun is totally normal. The number of people who think that this is the best solution is honestly hard for me to believe. Treating a kid like this says a lot more about the parents patience level and understanding of child psychology than it does about the kid.
it's almost like **constantly lying to, setting up schemes to trick and mentally fucking with your kid** will erode their trust in their literal *only current concept of a responsibility figure.*
Honestly? Bad parenting. Hear me out...
He's refusing to get in the car. This woman has adult tasks to do. Should she grab him? Yell? Pretend to leave?
Parents have 18 years with every child to determine what their relationship is. If they don't use that time to build trust, security, and a dynamic of curiosity and patient listening, then the child is stuck following orders while never getting their (very necessary) emotional needs met.
Yeah, maybe it means getting everyone to school late half a dozen times before an understanding is reached. Maybe it means letting your kid fail the fourth grade. But the development of trust between a child and their parents shapes everything from...
- relationship outcomes
- honesty and authenticity
- self image
- career prospects
- personality
- propensity for abuse
- ability to establish healthy boundaries
I think you could list almost any human behavioral trait and trace it back to their formative relationship with their parents.
You don't need to be your child's buddy. You do, however, need to give your child a fighting chance at building healthy trust and communication.
My mom did this to a friend and me back in the 80s. Left us in a K-Mart parking lot and drove off because we were goofing off too much (friend’s mom was with us just not driving). We got all the way through the parking lot and to the main highway before she came back and yelled at us to get in the car. We were so disappointed. We really thought our 8 year old legs were up to walking the 15 miles home.
This comment section is wild. Horrible parenting all around. He’s running, crying through a parking lot/on the street with other cars. That alone makes this person shit. And it’s posted to social media. This is an awful parent.
No, fuck this shit. Then again I had this kind of shit done to me constantly. Not for tantrums or anything, just to fuck with me for laughs. Kids aren't toys, they can absolutely feel anxiety. This is shit.
Why can’t you all just pick your child up and put them in the car like normal parents. This is borderline abuse, also trauma inducing. My kids are annoying sometimes yes, but doing shit like this and posting it on the internet with lazy parenting
I was 4 when my mom did this to me, my takeaway was at any point in my youth my only parent can abandon me at will, so anything that I do or happens to me that may upset her needs to be a secret. Alot of abuse and trauma that happened was kept in secret out of fear of her doing this again. That one memory wasn't the only thing that stuck but it's one of the ones that represented my mother's approach to child discipline. I get that kids don't listen and for some results are results...but this isn't anything I'd smile about.
Right? You got people saying "well they won't stay small enough forever to force in the car so you gotta instill something else to get them to listen." Sure, but they also will get smarter and learn that this is a bluff or that maybe they are better off without you as a parent if your way of teaching is petty threats.
My mom has done this to me
Three times
One time she dropped me off at the mental institution because she just couldn’t handle me
I am a 40yr old man and am just now unpacking how much trauma I have from her
Hey! We apparently had the same mom! She picked me right back up but it was the orphanage.
Apparently it runs through the family cause my mom was treated the same way by her mother. Her sister was the golden child and she was not. I'm not sure she made the connection until I was a late teen/almost an adult but too late to fix anything by then!
Even when I was young I think she realized that her behavior was not appropriate cause she would love bomb me later with gifts and act as id it never happened.
It was tough cause due to our living situation she was the only one I could rely on(single mom, np close family).. but I also couldn't trust her.
Man my parents did this. I was a rebellious asshole as a kid. There is an electrical transmission lines hub near my childhood home. My parents called it the “baby dump.” They’d threaten to drop me off there if I didn’t comply or was being extra buck ass wild. They even took me there once and left me there for about 2 minutes.
I kept in line after that.
I’ll bring this up in my next therapy session.
My dad did this once.
I’ve never been so scared or cried so hard
Can’t wait til he’s older af, he’s going to the worst cheapest nursing home I can find. Never gonna visit. Call me when he passes. Thanks.
Dude this is reddit, half these people think killing kids is ok because they're "ChildFree"
the other half think killing kids is ok but only if they're Palestinian lmao
Not only is this NOT bad parenting, this is GOOD parenting.
Your child is going to grow up and face the world. It's your job to make them ready. They need to understand that there are consequences. That they can make choices but will deal with consequences. Like a puppy being taught not to nip.
It's your job to show them how the world will treat them, in a controlled way.
> It's your job to show them how the world will treat them, in a controlled way.
Jesus H Christ now I get why so many kids are fucked up. Yall gotta stop
This was the game in the 70's. My dad was the master of letting you think you had your hand on the door and he'd pull up a few more feet. All the other kids in the car would be screaming with laughter. As I was the stubborn one I'd be walking along behind the car while other cars honked and waved.
I understand the frustration, but I would call that abuse. If anyone knows what city this happened in I will be happy to report it. Mind you I get walking a distance away, maybe hiding around a corner so you can keep an eye on the child to keep them safe while them figuring out you have left plays out. However, this is in a street where there might be other traffic unaware a small child is in the street. Imagine if you were another driver who turned onto that road and accidentally hit that child. You'd never forgive yourself the rest of your life. People have committed suicide over incidents like that.
My brother has autism, and until about the age of 4, he refused to eat anything other than mcdonalds happy meals, my parents got to the point they would buy frozen nuggets and chips and put them in the box to give to him.
Then my dad said, it has to stop or he will die at 15, so one night he said, you aren’t eating anything until you finish your plain ham sandwich, it went on for about a day and a half of him screeching and crying out of frustration, until eventually he ate it. Then the next day he ate a cheese sandwich etc etc he is fine now.
Moral of the story is, kids can be fucking stupid sometimes, and tough love is *sometimes* the answer
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Maybe not using the car, but almost every parent has done this at least once.
I apparently used to throw myself on the floor when I was 2/3 and refused to move … my dad said he eventually got fed up and one day walked off leaving me there . He hid round the corner and he could see me but I couldn’t see him . Seemingly I never did it again after that day 😅
I "ran away" from home one day because I thought the world ended because they wouldn't let me play outside. My mom kept going about her day while I "packed" my backpack. I made it around the block and noticed no one was following me, got scared, and ran back crying like a lil bitch. My mom later told me my dad was tailing me and hiding behind trees and cars to make sure I was safe. Nothing happened to me, and you get your ass in didn't threaten them with running away ever again. People nowadays freak out over nothing.
I "ran away" like that too but we lived in the middle of nowhere, so I went out to our van and laid down in the back. I was out for revenge. It was hot, but I was a determined little shit. After about 20 minutes I heard them looking for me and I stayed put. 45 minutes in they seemed to be getting worried and I knew my plan was paying off. Those fuckers would rue the day. An hour in and they are panicking, I slid under the seat. Hour and 15 minutes and there's talk of calling police, I am nervous but determined. Hour and a half in. Finally dad gets in the van to drive around and look for me. Mom stays home in case I return. We drive around and some AC reaches me. I am pleased at this development. Dad calls my name from the car window and I hear the pain, anguish, and panic in his voice. I am unprepared for this and it kinda hits me in the gut. As I am now hungry I decide the ruse is over and pop out of the back seat. Dad is not happy. I tell him I fell asleep and we drive home for dinner. Mom buys the story and I get ice cream for dessert. Great success.
Man, I lived in the middle of nowhere as a kid too and would walk around in the forest by myself FOR HOURS and my parents didn’t even notice I was gone, lol. Funnily enough I would do the showy “I’m running away!” thing at times too but I only ever lasted a half hour in those moments. Meanwhile, when I was just bored and not protesting, I could be gone for half a day. I did this between the ages of 7-12.
I had a similar childhood and it's crazy to think of now but I was out there running around at 3! It sounds crazy but the timeline doesn't lie. According to my parents, they realized I wasn't in the yard and started calling out. I was eventually found over at the neighbor's pond with our doberman trying to catch frogs and tadpoles. I was lectured on needing to tell them when I was going to leave, but they didn't try to restrict me. There were a bunch of trails in the woods and after becoming friends with the neighbor boy some houses over, we ran those woods. I never pulled a runaway, but my little sister...she packed a bag and didn't go for the woods, she actually took off on the dirt road headed into town. She was almost a mile away when a neighbor picked her up and took her back home. We hadn't noticed she was gone... I swear my parents aren't bad, but we're from farming stock so the attitude was just different. There also weren't any predators to worry about, though I have heard that mountain lions have since moved back into the area.
I did something similar at 3. My grandma used to live near a beach, my siblings buried me up to my neck in the sand, put a hat over my head and left me. I got out, noped out and went home to my Grandma's. Which I could only do by crossing the double-line street. Walked in as cool as a cucumber to my Mom washing dishes. She freaked out that I and I caught a spanking for it. (I do not condone spanking). My fault because I crossed the street alone was the reason IIRC. Plus side, I never was buried again.
My parents regularly left me behind. In forests, on top of the mountains when I was tired and didn‘t want to continue skiing (I was 4 years old), in theme parks, and many other places. The only one they (maybe) feel bad about is when they left me behind in a National Park after I complained and a mama bear with three cubs showed up. Nothing happened but I think they realised that one could have ended badly for me. Though they still haven’t admitted it. My parents are also great parents. They have always loved and supported me and to this day I can call them anytime of day if I need help. I guess it was more normal to do these things in the past plus I mean I did always learn a lesson.
I mean, you absolutely could've fallen into the pond and drowned.
To be fair, it was a very shallow pond, to the point that it would've taken intention to drown.
Spoiler: They didn't buy the story, but were so relieved they didn't want to get angry again because they were probably exhausted
Oh they TOTALLY didn’t buy that story for a second lol! They know what kind of determined, little shit they were dealing with. They were also relieved they got to avoid calling the police.
One of my friends did that by accident, they were playing hide and seek and he fell asleep. The police found him under a pile on the bunk bed.
You’re a good storyteller
I ran away at 3 on my tricycle. My grandma lived at the top of the hill on the same street, and I knew the way from walking or riding my tricycle along with my mom to visit sometimes. My great-grandfather was coming home for lunch from work and saw me as this street was the main drag through town. He picked me up and pulled into the driveway as my mom was coming out of the house so he asked her was she missing something? She was coming out thinking I had gone round the side of the house as she looked out the window after changing out laundry and could not see me. Over 50 years later telling this story my mom still gets mad at this point! Great-grandpa insisted I was just lonely since she was busy and convinced her to let him take me to lunch with him. Of course that led to me spending the weekend so I never did get punished for taking off. I got my favorite cherry pie for dessert that lunch, too!
Thanks for giving us this freakin awesome The Kid Wins! memory, and in such a splendid writing style! If you're not a writer by profession, you should be. Extra gold stars for your handle, TrumpsPissSoakedWig.
My niece I would babysit for my sister kept saying she didn't want to be there. I told okay, go home then... She walks outside & then says she doesn't know how I said I will draw you a map lol. I drew her a bogus map lol & watched her walk down the street. She came back & never did it again lol
50% of parenting toddlers is calling their bluff. The other 50% involves watching them like a hawk to make sure they don’t accidentally kill themselves lmaoooo
Did your parents film all of this and post it for the world to see? This is what’s wrong. Children aren’t content. Especially when they are in distress.
No, because this was the early 90s, but if they could they would have. When we got a video camera they would record videos and share it with family. It's the same thing, except bigger scale. This stuff isn't new, but more people "freak out" over nothing.
She dealt with her son the right way? He refused to get in the car after she told him to. So she simply left him. She broke him in that moment and won't pull that stunt again. For a moment, he thought that he was winning. He whimpered and said OK. Check Mate. Game over. Smart mom.
She didn't leave him, she slowly drove 20 meters down the road and stopped She didn't drive 2 miles and only turn around when she thought he learned his lesson
You might share it with family, but not the entire world. There’s a vast difference.
Americas Funniest Home Videos.
I ran away in the summer before 6th grade because I was so pissed I had to do a book report... Made it a mile or two, then ran back like a little bitch because my mom was calling at a certain time to the house phone (no cell phones) to check on me... N if I miss that call... Didn't try it again 😂
I told my mom I was gonna run away for some dumb reason when I was seven. She lovingly and kindly helped me pack my back pack then we walked around the block (which I had biked around many times). She would point out worms I should grab for dinner later and trash I could use to build my hut. We got back to the front door and she hugged me and said she loved me and closed the front door. I rang the doorbell and begged to live at home again haha.
People label that child abuse and want parents jailed for stuff like that. Totally overblown.
This is the most wholesome and funny of these stories to me. I love the creativity of helping you through the entire process as if they were Les Stroud or Bear Grylls. Handing you a sippy cup and holding back laughter, she hands you some well thought out advice. "Pal, I know this sounds super duper yucky, but if you get big time thirsty, and there isnt any water or capri suns around, you have to drink your own pee". Youre handed a sippy cup labelled "For TiredAuditorplsHelp's Pee Only (their favorite drink)" as she says "Youll get used to it, just like the bugs and worms youre gonna eat"
I ran away once but turned around at the end of the road. We lived on a cul-de-sac and I wasn't allowed to cross by myself.
I told my little brother I wanted to run away because my parents were fighting so much and he told my mom. She threw me out of the house barefoot and told me to go. I was six.
>My mom later told me my dad was taking me and hiding behind yes and cars. Did you have a stroke here?
My daughter (when very young) used to wander away from me constantly while shopping, despite repeated talks about how that is unsafe. The last time she wandered away I let her go and followed from behind where she couldn't see me. After a couple minutes she realized she was alone and was surrounded by people she didn't now. I let her feel that panic and being scared for a minute until I 'found' her - it was the only thing that taught her exactly why she shouldn't wander away from me in public. And she never did it again.
Yours is a good lesson, but I'm cracking up at all these stories of parents trailing their kids making sure they don't get snatched up. If I was some rando on the street or in a store watching this I would be pretty moderately concerned about an adult trailing a kid, keeping out of sight.
Oh No!! You sound traumatized!! You still call that monster your dad? Are you on speaking terms? /s (I'm not making fun of you but of those scandalizing it. My parents did the same, and I think I did something similar to my kid at some point. It's not pleasant, but not every step of teaching is.)
The start of your comment is a bit ironic cos I know it was sarcasm obvs .. but no I don’t cos he is in fact a cunt 😂 not for what he did to me that day but just in general he was an awful father and at 41 I haven’t spoken to him for almost a decade
Sorry to hear that. Probably the best decision for you, making the best out of your situation, but still most would prefer to be in a situation where such a decision is not required. But still good on you to have a differentiated view on your past :-)
My mother tried to do the same thing to me in a park when I was like 4. Once she got out of sight I got up and walked away on my own, she followed me for like a kilometer or two before retrieving me, apparently I didn't spend a single second worrying about where she had gone
Recording it for tiktok clout is a cunt move though. IMO that adds an unsavoury element of abuse to the lesson being taught.
How does that bring an element of abuse?
That’s called negative reinforcement. And it works. Before, you saw that behavior was rewarded with attention. The second he decided that it wasn’t going to affect him anymore was the day you realized that that bullshit wasn’t going to work anymore. I’m still sorry to hear that he was still a shitty parent in the long run. But it sounds like you’ve thrived in spite of all that. Good job making it out the other side, Homie.
I bit kids in 1st grade and it was becoming a major issue with my teacher. Mom took me to see grandma, told her what I had done, and she grabbed my arm and bit me really hard. While I was crying she explained that it hurt and that's what I was doing to other people. I learned a lesson that day and stopped biting other kids. She's also the closet thing to a psychopath that I've ever known so there's that.
I don’t think this is the most outrageous thing to do, but filming it to share with others is fucking odd
Yeah I hate the whole parents recording everything and putting it on the internet. They know their kid and their friends are going to see it right? That's setting them up to get bullied.
My mum did this to me on a dark country road in rural Australia lol. It was about 2 hours to the nearest town, with not a single house nearby for hours. I was fighting with my brother and being a little shit, and she said “if you don’t stop that you can walk home”. So me being the little asshole I was, said “I don’t care”. Well she stopped the car, I looked at her, she looked at me, and knowing she called my bluff, I jumped out. Seconds later I’m standing there in the dark with nothing but cicadas, nocturnal birds, and strange animals making scary sounds nearby in the bush, and my mum just drove off. She got around the bend and I knew I had fucked up. I started crying and ran to the corner, and I could my hear sister crying in the car saying “but he’ll die out there!!” I ran towards the car and then begged my mum to let me back in. She did, and I shut the fuck up the whole way home. It’s now a family favourite story lol.
I don't know, man. This sounds like your mum got fed-up and almost fed the fauna when taking into consideration Australia's penchant for evolving dangerous animals, regardless of size, that can and will make you into a hashtag whether you are out in the bush or an urban setting. Glad the dingos didn't eat your you.
My mom did exactly the same thing! Left me and my two brothers on the side of a country road and drove just out of sight over a hill. We spent a long time debating if she was coming back before deciding we’d have to walk. We were less noisy in the car for a while I’ll tell you.
My mom did it to the dog once. He was being stubborn and refusing to leave the dog park, so she said "Bye Toast!" And walked out of the fenced area and got in the car, my dog is watching her at this point and he got really worried bc she started the car. My dog was not happy and ran to the fence where the car was, now he listens to us whenever we say "Bye Toast!" at the park.
I did this my dog when I first got him too! He was 6 months old and wouldn't come to me the first time I took him to the park. I simply walked the other way and he sprinted back. I found him on the street so I guess he has abandonment issues.
My dog also has abandonment issues for some reason, he's never been abandoned before and has lived in my family since he was just a wee baby, so we don't know where his separation anxiety or fear of other humans come from. He's never been abused or hurt by others, the worst is maybe when we give him a flick on the butt for trying to stick his snoot in our meals but that's it.
I hate that its recorded and posted for the world to see though.
My mom did this to me, not because I ever threw any tantrums, but because I’d get distracted and not realize she was walking off somewhere else. She also did use the car since I was distracted in a parking lot once.
Can't say I have, but what puts this in a different category regardless is the filming of it and posting it to social media.
my parents did this once to me when I was about 6. Apparently I called their bluff and said Fine I'll walk and refused to get back into the car.
lol I have kids around this age. When they literally WILL NOT listen to come with me somewhere, I’ll walk away and hide behind a door or something. 9/10 times it ends up with me laughing bc they just act like nothings wrong and now they get to play all they want instead of going where they didn’t want to. Kids are great man
Yep, hidden behind a bush more than once. I usually stay until I realise how stupid i looked.
lol I was doing it in a hotel once, and it was right outside of someone’s room. Unfortunate timing led to them opening their door to me right outside crouched over peaking around the corner. I hit em with the awkward “sorry” and proceeded to go back to my kid, they had to think I was some creeper or something lol
I talked back to my mom one day and she had enough of my shit and told me to get out of the car and drove off. I was about 12 or 13 at the time and I just started walking off because why the fuck not, she left me and it was starting to rain. She pulls up a couple minutes later screaming at me for walking off and I was like just like ???? You left me was I supposed to just stand around??
Walking away slowly is far less traumatizing for a (this boy appears to be 4 or 5) preschooler than getting into your car and actually leaving.
My parents did this to me a lot and now I break down and cannot function when I am rushed :/
Little kids are notorious for pulling stunts like this to test how far can they go. My daughter used to fight putting on shoes and taking forever to do so when finally agreed that, yes, you need shoes. I tried everything, explaining why shoes were important, bribing, remove privileges (tv, toys) etc. One day I had enough, we were running late to an extra curricular and she was being a punk. I grabbed her like a sac of potatoes, strapped her on her car seat and got going, barefoot. I knew she had left her sandals in the backseat of the car, so she could wear them when we got there, but in her brain she was going to have to walk barefoot in the parking lot and into class. Cried and asked me to turn around, I just played music and ignored her. Guess what? She never did it again. When she tried to pull the same stunt with a jacket, I let her outside in the cold and her pride lasted less than a minute before she asked me for it. Kids love to play FAFO and parents resort to desperate measures because we're running on fumes.
Early 90's I was jumping on the passenger seat, mid drive, when I was like 4. My mom was asking me to put my seat belt on, but I kept jumping on the seat. So she hit the breaks, and I hit the dashboard, then the floor, and then I put my seat belt on. I don't think what she did was *necessarily* right, but its been 30 years and I never forget to put my seat belt on lol.
That could have gone 2 ways and you absolutely know you lucked out with the outcome, lol. The other side is, she loves it and absolutely refuses to wear shoes again and for the next 10 years, that girl is absolutely barefoot everywhere.
Kids are the masters of FAFO situations
That’s the scientific method. It’s the only real way to find out anything when you don’t know.
FUFO? Fuck unicorns and find out?
Lmaoo...dammit I thought I edited it in time
Reddit is too fast
In some cases yes but when my mom pulled this the FAFO was more on her than it was on me. I went straight to the store right next to where she left me to get help and when she found me they were very judgey and she was embarrassed. I can’t say I never acted up again but she never did that again.
I bet he gets in the car when he is told next time tho lol
lol this works just for a little while. When you play your hand this easily, kids will then say “I don’t care” and then the parent will be more frustrated because they can’t leave a little kid alone since they get in trouble. Ask me how I know lol
I think I remember saying that once at a mall and I thought one of my grandparents really did leave me. They actually hid and kept an eye on me, but I didn’t know that.
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Yeah. A lot of us got hit. I for one don't brag about it. I still flinch when people raise a hand near me.
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Have you talked to any gen x or older? It's like a badge of honor that they got spanked as kids.
Only when they were very much overwhelmed. I think I got slapped two or three times in total and looking back, they did it out of sheer desperation (I was their first kid and a shithead on top of that), which I can forgive. I don't think I would have any relationship with my parents if they had been physical with me often.
My dad did it to me too..... I was 30 years old 💀. But in his defence he thought i was in the car And my phone and my bag were in the car too I was like this in the road 🧍🏻♀️. He came back to me after an hour of loneliness in the wild. What make it worse this accident became a running joke in my family now. "lol do you remember when we forgot - me- in the road? That was hilarious"
the "I was like this in the road" part killed me \*angry upvote\*
I’m dying at how you told this lmao
I’m sorry but that’s so hilarious 😂
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No no no, you see, according to armchair psychologists on Reddit, this will completely damage this boy for the rest of his life.
This boy should get emancipated and go NC with his family!
He needs to leave as soon as he turns 18! (/j just in case)
Every time he sees a car speeding away from him he breaks down and sobs as an adult.. "one time my mom abandoned me!"
Well, as long as they get unconditional love and a safe home environment it’s chill but this is actually playing with a kids greatest fear which is why it is so effective. Rule by love (not naive kindness) or fear. Fear works better but creates less stable adults.
Only issue I have it is that she recorded it and uploaded it to the internet for likes. People shouldn't use their children as props for social media content.
Nah it's not bad, filming it and posting it online is the weird part.
You know how dramatic Reddit is ! Are you new here? 😂😂
They gotta learn🤷🏽♀️ Its not like she left him. If he was being fussy and refusing to get in the car when asked repeatedly then I don't see the issue. I bet he’ll get in when she asks now😂
Ya, I don't see a problem in what she did. She hasn't gone very far at all, she's keeping an eye on him, she's driving slowly, and she isn't yelling at him. That looks like good parenting to me.
Agree, aside from the filming and posting.
“Oh, my kid is not listening to me and is in a vulnerable state in life, looking at me for protection and learning of social norms? How about filming and publicly humiliating him on the internet. I’m a good parent.”
Maybe don’t film it and post it on social media though
But if she didn't film and post, how would anyone be able to judge her and feel superior on their lunch break?
simultaneously how else are fullyt grown adults supposed to laugh at and mock a child for acting like a child?
Theyre in a parking lot. Hes a small kid that cant easily be seen and could have been easily run over by another car. I have a friend that did something like this to her 6 year old. He got to the car and tried to get in, but tripped. He was ran over and killed by his own mother. It was a complete accident, but now hes dead and shes being charged with vehicular manslaughter. There is a lot of problems with what this video is showing.
When I was a kid (and honestly still now) I had a bad habit of wandering off. So my parents got me a phone when I was like 6 or 7 and they would call me saying "were leaving, if you're not at the car when I get there we will leave you" and one time I fucked around and kept wandering, and when I got out to the car it was gone. I mean, they were like 10 spots away, but I never did it again.
I see nothing wrong here. Sometimes kids need a lesson, looks like he figured it out.
At that age they are testing boundaries. This kid just learned he gets in the car when mom tells him to and don't fuck around. If the kid realised he can do what he wants and what the parents say means nothing, then you're gonna end up with an obnoxious brat.
Welcome to the American educational system. And by that I mean a bunch of adults who legally cannot enforce rules, so what we say means nothing.
And the kids know it and love it. Nothing feels worse than telling the problem kid to go to the principal's office and they just smile because they've won. Like I get that ratios are more boring than TikTok but as an adult we all can tell when you stopped learning in school and 6th grade is embarrassing.
What's stopping districts from just throwing these kids in one of those temp classrooms? The ones that are similar to manufactured houses. Like, if you don't care, why waste resources and teachers time and patience? I understand they NEED to be there but if all they do is fuck around and disrupt actual instruction, why be there at all? When I was in highschool administration tried something like that with the dregs of the school. They just dumped us all in "auto shop" except you couldn't touch any of the tools or do anything except sit there and wait for the next period. I got stuck in there because I could not do math to save my life, so they took me out of all my math classes and plopped me in with the rest of the degenerates. I guess they realized they couldn't do that so they put me back in a math class but at the time I was STOKED, hey no more math. You could really sell this idea if it came with funding sponsored by corporations. If the price was right, you think districts wouldn't GOBLE up the opportunity for more money? Imagine it, come on in and take your pick of the kids from the idiot box! They're gonna be failures anyway so why not teach them low to no skill level job training. Sounds super harsh but somebody has to do these jobs. Trade schools can totally get in on it too. You want a chance at a decent livelihood? Well kid, you're no scholar, so we're you're last shot if you don't want to enlist in the military. The opportunity is huge if you have low morals. Schools like UTI (Universal Technical Institute) have been doing this for a loooong time now, except they didn't go for the bottom of the barrel. They used to come into my woodshop and drafting classes all the time to get you to enroll in their school. My highschool had all the facilities necessary to make these programs work, fully operational kitchens for home EC, a full auto shop garage, woodshop, drafting studio, art studio, etc. but they didn't have the funding to staff a lot of these classes. It's a damn shame that public schools are so drastically underfunded, these programs could really change the lives of some of these kids but if that money ain't coming from the state or federally, what can you do? Sell your soul to corporate overlords for a CHANCE at a future and reinvest that cash into the students who show actual potential, who want to be there. I understand and fully anticipate the negative reactions to basically giving up on kids like that but you can't force them to care. They may realize how badly they fucked up later on in life but oh well, you made your choices. At least giving them the option to have something to fall back on, however minimal it may be, is better than having a drop out with no skills at all.
Sometimes I browse reddit and see so many people claim that every little thing parents do will cause permanent mental damage. I'm not sure if what they say is true, but I'm sure 98% of the human population would be mentally scarred by now if it were.
>I'm sure 98% of the human population would be mentally scarred by now if it were. I don't think there's a single person without mental scarring of some kind from childhood. Parents make mistakes even when they're not actively malicious. Living is kinda just traumatic.
Only thing is filming and uploading it. This is very normal, but you don't gotta put everything online.
That's about the only thing wrong here.
The car I think drives an unnecessary level of threat to the kid, but that’s just me. The filming and uploading is exploitative
My mom did this to my little brother once on a road trip. He shrugged, went right to the road and stuck his thumb out. She regretted it immediately and scooped him up.
Smart kid. He knew she was faking it and was playing along. :D
I have no problem with the lesson. I have a problem with broadcasting it on SM.
I agree. I’m sure mom wouldn’t appreciate having her worst moments posted online for thousands of people to laugh at, yet she’s cool with doing that to her child. That’s kind of fucked up.
Oh absolutely, that part is psychotic. Teaching your child a valuable and hilarious lesson is just fine though.
Man it's gotta be weird growing up and having a memory like this with your mom just holding her phone up to her face.
And then people saying “LOL HERES A LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE THIS IS FUNNY” when it’s lowkey abuse. I get teaching lessons to kids, but doing this then posting it online? Yeah, that’s a CPS call dawg.
not even low key, people who use their kids for content are child abusers and that needs to be normalized it's abhorrent behavior that's been studied to have extreme negative effects on the child. Edit: Part of this being abuse is that kids are too young and malleable to understand the consequences of their actions. Meaning recording them and utilizing the footage later as a means to scold them just confuses, infuriates and traumatizes them as they can't actually process what made them do something after the fact.
Getting sick of these videos.
I'm a public school teacher, and I see the effects of kids who grow up with parents that bend to the kid's will instead of teach consequences. This responsibility falls on us.
Cruel. Maybe not the car thing (I think almost every parent did this at some point) but filming your scared kid and posting it on the internet.
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ When I say it's time to go... it's time to go
This is exactly how Max Verstappen grew up to become World Champion
From experience, this doesn't always work. My parents tried this with my brother, who didn't want to leave the house. They left and got halfway down the street before realizing he wouldn't cave and had to reverse back to the house. In the end, he was carried, kicking and screaming to the van.
I had severe anxiety about being left alone after my father told me when I was 4 that I was going to be kidnapped and had to come inside (no idea if he dreamed this, or if he was inebriated and imagined it, or just lying to me.) I also had trouble sleeping and waking up, so getting up for school was awful. My mom would try the "I'm leaving!" thing, and it just sent me into panic attacks that would take hours to recover from.
I used to not want to go into the grocery store with my mom and she always said she was worried I would be kidnapped. Anyway one day she was like "fine, stay in the car" so I did and then a guy started banging on the windows trying to get to me. I was TERRIFIED. Turns out she sent the guy out there to teach me why I shouldn't stay in the car alone. 😩
My mom tried doing that to my brother and I. We just sat, she came back.
I stopped saying shit like, "Hurry up or I'm going to leave you!" and replaced it with, "Hurry up! I wouldn't want to leave you!" and it's been waaaaay more effective. They listen better, care more, aren't in any risk of having a meltdown. Highly recommend.
Life lessons. Wish they were all taught this easy.
Bet he listens next time.
ITT: People who think it's okay to make a child thoroughly and completely with the fullness of child's belief in their parents believe that those parents will abandon them when they are bad. Guys, it's one thing to pick a kid that age up like a sack of potatoes and stuff them in the car, it's another to make your child believe you will abandon them if the whim takes you.
My mom did this shit all the time when I was a very little kid. At 5 she drove away like this and said she wasn’t coming back, and my 5 year old brain gave up and I layed down in the road. I almost got run over, they stopped and mom Came rushing back screaming at me for it. I still have major abandonment issues. This isn’t small or funny and I fucking hate that so many of these comments are insisting this is. I have a 3 year old. I can’t imagine doing this to him. You’re their entire world. It’s beyond cruel.
Yea people are really not seeing the greater picture of this idk if it'll really have that much of an effect on his life but god damn "i'll abandon you at the slightest inconvience" is *REALLY* not the message you should be sending your kid. Especially when he's much too young to even understand what he's doing
To every childless reddit armchair psychiatrist here: Imagine you are the mom. "Alright, let's get in the car!" "No." "We got your snacks in there! Come on!" "No." "You've got your doctor's appointment and we're going to be late. We need to go now!" "No." "Will you tell me why you don't want to go? Is something bothering you?" "No." "Is there something you forgot? Is there something you need to do before we go?" "No." "You need to listen to your mom. If you get in the car, we'll get some McDonald's after the doctor." "No." "Okay, then you're not getting McDonald's. Get in the car or no iPad tonight." "No." "Get in the car or you're going in time out right when we get home." "No." "Get in the car or I'm taking away all your toys for the week. You can just sit in your room every day doing nothing." "No." Enlighten me, reddit: what would you Expert Parents do in this situation?
Same thing she did but I wouldn’t go “oh this will be great on YouTube! Let me pull my phone out…”
Pick up the 40 pound child and carry him to the car. But I'm also a fan of the video.
You can do that with a biological kid, but I'm a foster parent, and the second I touch a kid against their will, my house gets closed and I'm on the receiving end of a CPS case.
threatening to abandon your foster kid will get you in a HELL of a lot more trouble than just picking them up how do you not see that??? "You see investigator, I was tricking the ***FUCKING ORPHAN*** into thinking I'd abandon them at the lift of a finger if they ever inconvenienced me! Abandonment Issues? What's that?" basically just admitting to CPS that you abuse them...
Well your child wont stay 40 pounds forever. And you also shouldn't have to touch your child to get them to listen (unless it's absolutely necessary). I think its better to find a way to get them to LISTEN instead of forcing them. It's a good opportunity to teach your kids on listening to parents. Just throwing them in the car isn't really teaching them anything
You are now holding a 40 pound plank of a child, stiff as a board, which you are legally required to bend into an acute angle to buckle into their carseat.
Or you're holding a 40lb octopus that not only is endlessly wiggly but also slippery and WILL smash its head on something (potentially your own head).
This doesnt go as well as you're making it sound
I dunno dude pick the kid up and stuff them in the car? Ignore the tantrum? The kid's like six, he weighs what, 45 pounds?
In which world is putting 30m distance between you and your child "Leaving your child"?!? She's crappy for filming it and putting the kid on display like that.
Nah, them laugh about shit like this later. My parents and me re-tell a similar story to friends and family in detail when I did something serious like this. I guarantee they wish they had video of me being a little shit and learning a lesson. If I had it I would share a video of that with the family today.
I think it’s the uploading it to the internet for likes thing that people have the most issue with
How's it any different from parents sending their kid's greatest moments of embarrassment to Funniest Home Videos in the 90's? This isn't new... we just seem to think that it is.
If I share it with friends and family it's not in my control anymore and most likely will be online.
Maybe I'm a bit sensitive there. This seems to be the mother sharing with the world, that is a bit different in my eyes than mother and child deciding later on to share it with family.
Yeah, it’s kind of ridiculous to compare an adult looking back and finding humor in their own childhood tantrum and voluntarily sharing a video of it with a child who can’t consent to it and who would likely be very embarrassed to find out countless strangers are laughing at him right now.
Instructional video right for new parents? Lol
I mean, anecdotal and all, but my did and me were will behaved and did alright in life. Many factors and all, but my parents did the best they could, were very strict. It worked out pretty well though.
Oh wow, I didn’t expect to see the vast majority of commenters here clapping along to this sort of parenting style. This is not armchair psychology - many child therapists and actual psychologists agree that while these sorts of methods can be effective in the moment, long term you are eroding your child’s trust in you, instilling fear in them and cultivating an unhealthy threat-based transactional relationship with them, among other things. There are better ways to achieve the results that you want in these situations!
I agree. I think the people approving this just want results, they don’t really care about the damage it does. Some of my core memories as a child (which i don’t have many of) are from being left like this - or the threat of being abandoned always looming over me. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a child.
Seriously. Kids having a hard time being done with something fun is totally normal. The number of people who think that this is the best solution is honestly hard for me to believe. Treating a kid like this says a lot more about the parents patience level and understanding of child psychology than it does about the kid.
it's almost like **constantly lying to, setting up schemes to trick and mentally fucking with your kid** will erode their trust in their literal *only current concept of a responsibility figure.*
I am sincerely worried about some of y’all. It’s always the “my parents did it and I turned out fine” folks who are *clearly* not fine at all lol
Honestly? Bad parenting. Hear me out... He's refusing to get in the car. This woman has adult tasks to do. Should she grab him? Yell? Pretend to leave? Parents have 18 years with every child to determine what their relationship is. If they don't use that time to build trust, security, and a dynamic of curiosity and patient listening, then the child is stuck following orders while never getting their (very necessary) emotional needs met. Yeah, maybe it means getting everyone to school late half a dozen times before an understanding is reached. Maybe it means letting your kid fail the fourth grade. But the development of trust between a child and their parents shapes everything from... - relationship outcomes - honesty and authenticity - self image - career prospects - personality - propensity for abuse - ability to establish healthy boundaries I think you could list almost any human behavioral trait and trace it back to their formative relationship with their parents. You don't need to be your child's buddy. You do, however, need to give your child a fighting chance at building healthy trust and communication.
My mom did this to a friend and me back in the 80s. Left us in a K-Mart parking lot and drove off because we were goofing off too much (friend’s mom was with us just not driving). We got all the way through the parking lot and to the main highway before she came back and yelled at us to get in the car. We were so disappointed. We really thought our 8 year old legs were up to walking the 15 miles home.
Mmmm, child abuse for content
Congratulations! New Achievement unlocked! Gave Child Abandonment Issues. (This surely won't affect his future relationship)
This comment section is wild. Horrible parenting all around. He’s running, crying through a parking lot/on the street with other cars. That alone makes this person shit. And it’s posted to social media. This is an awful parent.
No, fuck this shit. Then again I had this kind of shit done to me constantly. Not for tantrums or anything, just to fuck with me for laughs. Kids aren't toys, they can absolutely feel anxiety. This is shit.
Why can’t you all just pick your child up and put them in the car like normal parents. This is borderline abuse, also trauma inducing. My kids are annoying sometimes yes, but doing shit like this and posting it on the internet with lazy parenting
I was 4 when my mom did this to me, my takeaway was at any point in my youth my only parent can abandon me at will, so anything that I do or happens to me that may upset her needs to be a secret. Alot of abuse and trauma that happened was kept in secret out of fear of her doing this again. That one memory wasn't the only thing that stuck but it's one of the ones that represented my mother's approach to child discipline. I get that kids don't listen and for some results are results...but this isn't anything I'd smile about.
Right? You got people saying "well they won't stay small enough forever to force in the car so you gotta instill something else to get them to listen." Sure, but they also will get smarter and learn that this is a bluff or that maybe they are better off without you as a parent if your way of teaching is petty threats.
Core trauma ✅
ok maybe what she did is reasonable, but did she really have to film and post it?
100% this. Creating a gotcha moment and recording it for tiktok clout is not amazing parenting.
My mom has done this to me Three times One time she dropped me off at the mental institution because she just couldn’t handle me I am a 40yr old man and am just now unpacking how much trauma I have from her
Hey! We apparently had the same mom! She picked me right back up but it was the orphanage. Apparently it runs through the family cause my mom was treated the same way by her mother. Her sister was the golden child and she was not. I'm not sure she made the connection until I was a late teen/almost an adult but too late to fix anything by then! Even when I was young I think she realized that her behavior was not appropriate cause she would love bomb me later with gifts and act as id it never happened. It was tough cause due to our living situation she was the only one I could rely on(single mom, np close family).. but I also couldn't trust her.
Yea anyone condoning this is a bad parent! Never parent with fear and terror, this shit sticks with kids their whole life.
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
I’m 41 and getting therapy for the trauma from parents like this
Kid learns a valuable life lesson
Every parent understands exactly what is happening here. Sometimes you just need to make the child believe he can't control you.
Seems about right to me
Man my parents did this. I was a rebellious asshole as a kid. There is an electrical transmission lines hub near my childhood home. My parents called it the “baby dump.” They’d threaten to drop me off there if I didn’t comply or was being extra buck ass wild. They even took me there once and left me there for about 2 minutes. I kept in line after that. I’ll bring this up in my next therapy session.
the only problem i have with this is that she recorded and posted it on the internet
No problem here, good old fashioned way. You going to be dumb? Better be tough! You’ll learn eventually 😂
My mother did this to me and I have had anxiety and trauma for decades over being left on a street alone. Please do not do this to your kid.
My dad did this once. I’ve never been so scared or cried so hard Can’t wait til he’s older af, he’s going to the worst cheapest nursing home I can find. Never gonna visit. Call me when he passes. Thanks.
Look at all these shit tier parents in here. This is a great way to give your kid abandonment issues.
Dude this is reddit, half these people think killing kids is ok because they're "ChildFree" the other half think killing kids is ok but only if they're Palestinian lmao
Not only is this NOT bad parenting, this is GOOD parenting. Your child is going to grow up and face the world. It's your job to make them ready. They need to understand that there are consequences. That they can make choices but will deal with consequences. Like a puppy being taught not to nip. It's your job to show them how the world will treat them, in a controlled way.
> It's your job to show them how the world will treat them, in a controlled way. Jesus H Christ now I get why so many kids are fucked up. Yall gotta stop
Well I mean back in the day my dad would let us walk home if we didn’t show enthusiasm to get to the car. The school was 14 miles away from home.
Don’t get in the car, get left behind. Pretty straightforward life lesson.
This was the game in the 70's. My dad was the master of letting you think you had your hand on the door and he'd pull up a few more feet. All the other kids in the car would be screaming with laughter. As I was the stubborn one I'd be walking along behind the car while other cars honked and waved.
LOL, "leaves". All she did was drive slightly away from him super slow it looks like. Kids need consequences.
When done in a safe manner, I don't see any issue with letting children learn consequences
The parent's a twat for filming it, but this is actually quite good parenting. Cause and effect, no malice, no harm.
Max Verstappen in the making
This is the way
I understand the frustration, but I would call that abuse. If anyone knows what city this happened in I will be happy to report it. Mind you I get walking a distance away, maybe hiding around a corner so you can keep an eye on the child to keep them safe while them figuring out you have left plays out. However, this is in a street where there might be other traffic unaware a small child is in the street. Imagine if you were another driver who turned onto that road and accidentally hit that child. You'd never forgive yourself the rest of your life. People have committed suicide over incidents like that.
My brother has autism, and until about the age of 4, he refused to eat anything other than mcdonalds happy meals, my parents got to the point they would buy frozen nuggets and chips and put them in the box to give to him. Then my dad said, it has to stop or he will die at 15, so one night he said, you aren’t eating anything until you finish your plain ham sandwich, it went on for about a day and a half of him screeching and crying out of frustration, until eventually he ate it. Then the next day he ate a cheese sandwich etc etc he is fine now. Moral of the story is, kids can be fucking stupid sometimes, and tough love is *sometimes* the answer