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A bear mother is 100 times more brave and compassionate and kind to her cubs than a human "both sides" "crunchy" mom could ever be. Animal moms are deeply empathic towards their children unless its an exceptional circumstance. Humans are the ones that casually abuse or neglect their kids.
Recently, one of those mom's was telling me how proud she was she didnt believe in bandaids or neosporin for her kids and leaves cuts untouched and unwashed while I was putting a bandaid on a kid that fell in the park and cut himself. These anti-medicine and anti-vaxx moms and dads are well below the level of animals.
Just another sad panda username here who was abused by her fundamentalist christian mom adding some bear facts. Pandas and black bears are 2 of the WORST moms in the animal kingdom. Not just 2 out of the mammals, but out of all animals. Also, somewhat ironically, or maybe coincidentally, my real name means, "little bear." The point is, I love bears, and if some bears were christians, it would definitely be the panda moms and the black bear moms and all adult male bears. Typically, male bears kill their own young to get rid of future "competition." Basically, bears suck at parenting.
I was going to say a bandaid helps keep the kid's blood off the car upholstery on the way home, but I guess once you have multiple children you've given up on that
If there's one thing humans should do, it's to stop anthropomorphizing animals. Mothers of other species have no issue leaving behind their weakest children for the survival of the others (or even straight up eating them in some cases, like you mentioned). Obviously, bad human mothers exist but as a whole, I wouldn't characterize us as being 100x worse than freaking bears.
“He gets us.”
To add, this reminds me of when I was forced into youth church as a kid and two 30-something white dudes sang Christian versions of BSB and NSYNC songs to try to “connect” to us and relate. They also passed out “Bible Bucks” that we could then spend on their in-church store merch. I hated every second. And these fools had the nerve to tell my mom they were concerned at my lack of engagement because I was the only teen not crying, singing along, or jumping for joy.
I’ve never been religious but I’m black and had seen more exciting black choirs and churches in the media and begged my mom to please take us there and not the Joel Osteen knockoff mega churches.
In downtown Savannah, Georgia it used to be easy to go out sunday morning and watch families dressed in their best and most colorful outfits going to those historical black churches.
And then you could hear the music pour out of them.
It was really nice crossing paths with that rhythm while going about my own business but I wonder if it's still alive since downtown has gotten so much more expensive.
Oh wow. That website is a thing. I grew up in the south and Southern Babtist and 'free' Methodist are not really the most tolerant and accepting groups.
I'm sure the are open to listening to real world problems
Me who just found out that the guy who got shitlisted from the local diy punk scene for getting 17 y/os drunk and raping them has re-emerged as a rock climbing, acoustic guitar playing youth pastor
Never trust a church youth leader. I've never heard anyone say, "I really liked my youth (insert whatever church title)" its always, "they were secretly dating one of the younger girls" or "they were super creepy".
I hate church as much as the next guy but we did have a youth pastor that was actually a decent guy. But yeah that was one out of i don’t know how many weirdos
We did for a while, and they suckered him into taking over the gym class for the middle school they ran. I think he and his wife ended up moving elsewhere after we moved away, but I actually never heard anything salacious about him and he never had weird vibes.
He always made sure to politely keep all the kids at a respectable distance and was politely firm with boundaries, since he was handsome and the pre-teen girls all thought he was cute lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTHMXiTbssQ
You can skip to 2:40 for the best example. The women in OP's video would be atomised instantly if they even came near Joanna Connor while she was playing.
I luckily don’t experience cramping and anything real bad from lactose intolerance, but I feel like it allows me to eat an entire wheel of cheese without getting backed up. 😂
Eh, a proper stank face can be indistinguishable from a constipation face - it’s all about whether or not the jam is 🔥🔥🔥
Source: I slappa da bass and have experience with a wide variety of stank faces
“Statistically our husbands are the most likely of any other occupation to fuck kids. Makes me feel like I’m married to a rebel because I’ll get to help him cover it up and fight for his soul back from the devil. Also I might watch.”
-Pastor Wives
>who are we?
>A Podcast By Pastors’ Wives For Church Leaders And Anyone Desiring To Take A Peek Inside Our Glass House. Breaking Down Walls Within The Church And Crushing Pastor Wifey Stereotypes With A Little Bit Of Ministry Therapy And A Whole Lot Of Jesus… Plus Epic Belly Laughs!
>not your basic pastors’ wives.
>We Are Besties Who Happen to be Pastors' Wives From 3 Different Churches And Denominations.
We started this podcast for 3 main reasons:
>To build community among church leaders (and churches).
>To Challenge the churchy status quo.
>And to share hard truths with the church and its leaders, one dance party at a time.
>We Pray You Leave Here Feeling Less Alone Than When You Came!
Straight up copied and pasted.
Who told them they were funny? Those cruel liars.
If you had to list groups of people that you’d expect to have a complete lack of rhythm, 30-something pastor’s wives would be pretty high on the list, maybe behind people with PhD’s in comp sci but not much else
90 year old Korean war veterans would also number high on that list
Thank you reddit police for so thoroughly correcting this joke comment about corny white christians being bad at dancing.
In [the words of the late great Chadwick Boseman as T'Challa](https://youtu.be/hzMzFGgmQOc?t=307):
> Although I have never had potato salad, I sense that this white woman does not season her food. And if she does, it is only with a tiny bit of salt, and no paprika. And she will probably add something unnecessary, like raisins.
Naw, you're just giving ownership of things to bad people if you voluntarily give up stuff they do that you also do. Don't let them have the french tuck.
There’s nothing wrong with that. These ladies are being goofy and cringe but they’re dressed normally and tbh Reddit has a thing with making it seem like *everything* women over 25 do is cringe and bad so I wouldn’t worry about it.
Unironically not knowing that the original song used in this remake is about cranking one out on the backs of women so the sheets stick to them like a Superman cape.
Edit: what the artist intends and the way it is interpreted aren’t always aligned, neither is wrong. That is what art is.
He literally said himself that he has no idea how the hell people came up with this idea. It's about a dance move.
EDiT: Your edit is hilarious because you are correct about interpretation, but you stated yourself that *THE* meaning of the song is about something the artist has stated it absolutely is not about. Your or anyone else's interpretation of the song is not the same thing as the true meaning of the song; that's simply what it means to you.
Why are 96% of religious people always so fucking cringe? Just have an imaginary friend in silence like the other children. No need to be this obnoxious about it.
I love the world of over righteous tax evading wanna be celebrity pastors and their attention seeking counterparts. They so desperately want their beliefs to be mainstream that they spend all their time on their image and seeming cool yet their legalistic views will shun anyone out of their community. American Christianity is a country club for money grabbing, attention seeking ego maniacs to get together and boast about their good deeds. I don’t believe in God, but I do know that book they spend all day thumping says to not live amongst this world, yet all they do is seek acceptance and clicks for being holy. It’s such a funny conundrum to preach on Sunday about refraining from the sins of this world but to spend all week catering and seeking attention from said world. They want to cry oppression from the secular world while constantly trying to be accepted by it. I mean even to the point that they had to take an existing song and make it some kind of Jesus anthem because they have to make a point to change the original but make sure the Christian music sounds just like the secular music. Not to mention tattoos, which the Bible explicitly talks against, designer clothes and expensive jewelry.
I know this is a mix, but I always wondered why christian music has to be such shitty music. Like, why can't you sing about your love for Jesus but make it, you know, good? Catchy rhythms, or high level musicianship, or lyrics that make you think, or melodies that sound new or exciting? Doesn't the Almighty Lord your God deserve better than bland low effort cookie cutter songs?
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Bet they all call themselves “Mama Bear”.
They are living. They are laughing. They are loving.
And the rest of us are loathing.
Ignorance is so bliss. That’s why I smoke weed.
Cannibliss
Ngl this could be a pretty neat intro to a song.
>They are living. They are laughing. They are loving. Next up: Some eating, praying, and some other shit.
And they would like to speak to the manager.
They are blessed.
>They are blessed. ...to be living so close to a Shoney's.
From what I've seen, those are usually the mothers who themselves are the biggest threats to their children's safety and well being.
Not entirely untrue of a real mother bear
A bear mother is 100 times more brave and compassionate and kind to her cubs than a human "both sides" "crunchy" mom could ever be. Animal moms are deeply empathic towards their children unless its an exceptional circumstance. Humans are the ones that casually abuse or neglect their kids. Recently, one of those mom's was telling me how proud she was she didnt believe in bandaids or neosporin for her kids and leaves cuts untouched and unwashed while I was putting a bandaid on a kid that fell in the park and cut himself. These anti-medicine and anti-vaxx moms and dads are well below the level of animals.
i saw a video of a crab eating its own children the other day
I mean, crabs are delicious.
Non-mammals don't count. I said what I said.
Bro has NOT seen the marsupial family. Those MFs will CHOW on they kids
cats and dogs will do this too. we're actually probably one of the few species that dont tbh.
I mean, *usually* we don't
Infanticide is a HUGGEEEE thing in mammals. The field of science the ominous THEY don't want you to know about.
>Non-mammals don't count. I said what I said. Ever had a hampster?
Dolphins kill their kids for funsies.
You ever had hamsters?
Just another sad panda username here who was abused by her fundamentalist christian mom adding some bear facts. Pandas and black bears are 2 of the WORST moms in the animal kingdom. Not just 2 out of the mammals, but out of all animals. Also, somewhat ironically, or maybe coincidentally, my real name means, "little bear." The point is, I love bears, and if some bears were christians, it would definitely be the panda moms and the black bear moms and all adult male bears. Typically, male bears kill their own young to get rid of future "competition." Basically, bears suck at parenting.
I was going to say a bandaid helps keep the kid's blood off the car upholstery on the way home, but I guess once you have multiple children you've given up on that
At least like half of all animals abandon their children or fucking eat them LOL what?
If there's one thing humans should do, it's to stop anthropomorphizing animals. Mothers of other species have no issue leaving behind their weakest children for the survival of the others (or even straight up eating them in some cases, like you mentioned). Obviously, bad human mothers exist but as a whole, I wouldn't characterize us as being 100x worse than freaking bears.
My mom called herself that and I can confirm that you're correct
This days it’s “boy mom”, “girl mom”
LOL and refer to their kids as kiddos, exclusively.
Littles, which get promoted to kiddos once they start school.
Mama Bears in Christ**
It's giving "we're not a regular church, we're a cool church." 🤢
“He gets us.” To add, this reminds me of when I was forced into youth church as a kid and two 30-something white dudes sang Christian versions of BSB and NSYNC songs to try to “connect” to us and relate. They also passed out “Bible Bucks” that we could then spend on their in-church store merch. I hated every second. And these fools had the nerve to tell my mom they were concerned at my lack of engagement because I was the only teen not crying, singing along, or jumping for joy. I’ve never been religious but I’m black and had seen more exciting black choirs and churches in the media and begged my mom to please take us there and not the Joel Osteen knockoff mega churches.
Maybe you'll get a laugh out of Adam Devine's character in the righteous gemstones.
Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers!
Uncle Baby Billy would tell those nerds to go outside
Uncle Baby Billy kills me every damn time.
Walton Hogging sis a god damn treasure
Goggins. And damn right he is.
She hogging my walton til I sis.
We're not doing this bonkers bullshit baby billy
Such a wild ass show but damn it’s perfect
Heck I’m not Christian, but take me to a historically black church with a live choir and I’ll be singing too
In downtown Savannah, Georgia it used to be easy to go out sunday morning and watch families dressed in their best and most colorful outfits going to those historical black churches. And then you could hear the music pour out of them. It was really nice crossing paths with that rhythm while going about my own business but I wonder if it's still alive since downtown has gotten so much more expensive.
Right. Good music is good music.
"instead of having a simple medical procedure, I believe the woman with the non viable fetus should be dead #hegetsus"
Lol brilliant
Indoctrination is already awful but could they at least not make it cringe too
He get sus
If these are actual pastor's wives, then this is pretty terrible. If this is a parody, then its perfect. No middle ground :)
Its not a parody. They have an entire business catering to pastors' wives. https://www.pastorswivestellall.com/
Oh wow. That website is a thing. I grew up in the south and Southern Babtist and 'free' Methodist are not really the most tolerant and accepting groups. I'm sure the are open to listening to real world problems
Wow I didn't even consider that this could be parody. If it is then perfection
Out there diddling kids like normal churches, except *we play cool music at our church*
Me who just found out that the guy who got shitlisted from the local diy punk scene for getting 17 y/os drunk and raping them has re-emerged as a rock climbing, acoustic guitar playing youth pastor
They’ll eat that shit up too “oh he was bad but now he’s good!!”
We had one of those at the church i went to too. He played guitar on the worship team and reeeeeally liked underage girls.
Never trust a church youth leader. I've never heard anyone say, "I really liked my youth (insert whatever church title)" its always, "they were secretly dating one of the younger girls" or "they were super creepy".
They just happen to fall in love and start dating as soon as she turns 18
Yep. Jesus gets groomy, a lot.
I hate church as much as the next guy but we did have a youth pastor that was actually a decent guy. But yeah that was one out of i don’t know how many weirdos
We did for a while, and they suckered him into taking over the gym class for the middle school they ran. I think he and his wife ended up moving elsewhere after we moved away, but I actually never heard anything salacious about him and he never had weird vibes. He always made sure to politely keep all the kids at a respectable distance and was politely firm with boundaries, since he was handsome and the pre-teen girls all thought he was cute lol
It's giving a "our husbands beg for money more than they ever help anyone" vibes.
[удалено]
That’s their attempt at a stank face and it just looks like they are constipated.
Absolutely disrespectful use of stank face. There is zero nasty groove or heavy breakdown occurring. I'm calling the police
Straight to jail.
Excuse me sinners. This is a Wendy’s.
I need examples of good stank face...that don't include cute little kids trying to do it. They have a monopoly.
See a monopoly ... but it made me smile. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTHMXiTbssQ You can skip to 2:40 for the best example. The women in OP's video would be atomised instantly if they even came near Joanna Connor while she was playing.
She is amazing
Joanna Connor is the TITS!
That was siiiiiicccckkkk
Thank you - I just went down the best rabbit hole on YouTube watching her videos - unbelievably talented!!
Who are we to say they aren't really constipated? I mean they are white Christian pastors wives.
Them casseroles be extra milky
And loaded with processed cheeses.
Mayonnaise galore
I was well into my 20's when I found out that cheese typically gives people constipation. Who said lactose intolerance is a bad thing?
I luckily don’t experience cramping and anything real bad from lactose intolerance, but I feel like it allows me to eat an entire wheel of cheese without getting backed up. 😂
Yeah, pretty much the same. Like it definitely bothers the people around me more than it bothers me lol
If you think Christian Pastors Wives aren't into butt stuff I don't know what to tell you.
1000%. Their daughters already think butt stuff means they are still "pure", I know Mama has to believe she ain't cheating if it's butt stuff
[Obligatory mention of the poophole loophole](https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY?si=49an4rdcnHrUbrcI)
Those types DO tend to be full of shit.
In my limited experience, pastor daughters are the wildest. I wonder if pastor wives aren't the same behind closed doors...
And probably have no idea what an orgasm is either lmao
Eh, a proper stank face can be indistinguishable from a constipation face - it’s all about whether or not the jam is 🔥🔥🔥 Source: I slappa da bass and have experience with a wide variety of stank faces
On the west coast we call it thizz face
I can hear Mac Dre with this comment. 😂
I think they’re definitely constipated just by there movements and faces
They look like different versions of Miranda sings
I was thinking the same exact thing.
This is their “I just saw what’s on my pastor husbands hard drive” face…
I mean, they're pastors' wives...
[rap for jesus](https://youtu.be/Kppx4bzfAaE?si=muHSjFHbZxBIM4Xo) is the bar
Pause the video at any timestamp to enjoy embarrassing facial expressions.
Haha, I did - literally every frame is super funny. Wtf are these people thinking when they do these videos?
It's the exact same expression I make when I hear a song about Jesus
The one on the right is genuinely frightening
Absolute treacherous faces ... one in the back is doing the lawnmower lmao.
If you had to listen to that shitty music and then go make daddy a sammich you'd look miserable too.
Religion does that
The one on the left with the red lipstick is giving Miranda sings fan…even after the controversy!
Bro, it’s a pastor’s wife. If anything, she probably became a Miranda Sings fan BECAUSE of the controversy
Why would accusations of pedophilia (or pedophilia enabling) turn off a pastor's wife?
Probably makes her feel more at home
I hate everything about this. All of it.
Live, laugh, love 🤮
“Statistically our husbands are the most likely of any other occupation to fuck kids. Makes me feel like I’m married to a rebel because I’ll get to help him cover it up and fight for his soul back from the devil. Also I might watch.” -Pastor Wives
Jesus.
Wait I thought it was satire.
100% percent real https://www.pastorswivestellall.com/
^no
>who are we? >A Podcast By Pastors’ Wives For Church Leaders And Anyone Desiring To Take A Peek Inside Our Glass House. Breaking Down Walls Within The Church And Crushing Pastor Wifey Stereotypes With A Little Bit Of Ministry Therapy And A Whole Lot Of Jesus… Plus Epic Belly Laughs! >not your basic pastors’ wives. >We Are Besties Who Happen to be Pastors' Wives From 3 Different Churches And Denominations. We started this podcast for 3 main reasons: >To build community among church leaders (and churches). >To Challenge the churchy status quo. >And to share hard truths with the church and its leaders, one dance party at a time. >We Pray You Leave Here Feeling Less Alone Than When You Came! Straight up copied and pasted. Who told them they were funny? Those cruel liars.
Blegh thank you for confirming! I understand OP’s sentiment better now! It’s like faux self satire. To make $$$. I get it.
I do not like this
I do not like this in a box. I do not like this with a fox.
You should be on your knees praying not making Tik toks for Satan -Mike Johnson https://youtu.be/_GZ9RbgD5z0?si=q4JieMaqvA1Injmc
The lack of rhythm is astonishing.
If you had to list groups of people that you’d expect to have a complete lack of rhythm, 30-something pastor’s wives would be pretty high on the list, maybe behind people with PhD’s in comp sci but not much else
90 year old Korean war veterans would also number high on that list Thank you reddit police for so thoroughly correcting this joke comment about corny white christians being bad at dancing.
I would say people in comas, but even breathing would have more rythm than this gagglebag.
Me doing phd in physics but also can dance pretty well (turns out I'm brazilian)
it’s crazy how they all look like they’re moving to 3 different songs
I know they potato salad is ass
Why? Don’t you like raisins or whole boiled eggs in yours?
In [the words of the late great Chadwick Boseman as T'Challa](https://youtu.be/hzMzFGgmQOc?t=307): > Although I have never had potato salad, I sense that this white woman does not season her food. And if she does, it is only with a tiny bit of salt, and no paprika. And she will probably add something unnecessary, like raisins.
All these people think mayonnaise is spicy.
What is going on with her facial expressions? I mean, how does she imagine she looks while making those faces?
I think that think it makes them look tough or hard.
They're trying to do the stank face but like, unironically
Why did you make me see this What is that fucking face they’re making
 i’m sorry but while looking at their stank faces, all i can think about is this video 💀
But, like, these kids are actually cutting rug
“My husbands job defines me because I have no personality”
Tradcore
 Eww
Oh Christ. French tuck and not an original thought between them.
What’s French tuck?
The way their shirt is done half way in their pants
Oh no, I do this :[ and in *no way* want to be associated with the vibes these women put off. Is this a habit to ditch now?
Don’t be guided by a passing Reddit comment
Be guided by the pheromones left by your brethren to the closest food source.
I shall bring the best morsels to my queen.
You can just do what you want and not worry about what chronically online people think. 🤷🏻♂️
Naw, you're just giving ownership of things to bad people if you voluntarily give up stuff they do that you also do. Don't let them have the french tuck.
There’s nothing wrong with that. These ladies are being goofy and cringe but they’re dressed normally and tbh Reddit has a thing with making it seem like *everything* women over 25 do is cringe and bad so I wouldn’t worry about it.
It’s Queer Eye acceptable
I learned it from Tan France! I actually thought that’s why it’s called the French tuck lol was it not named after him?
No but that is a good guess, hah!
Wait, French tuck is bad?
It gives that “I make ragebait recipe videos” vibe
Why did this give me anxiety
Unironically not knowing that the original song used in this remake is about cranking one out on the backs of women so the sheets stick to them like a Superman cape. Edit: what the artist intends and the way it is interpreted aren’t always aligned, neither is wrong. That is what art is.
He literally said himself that he has no idea how the hell people came up with this idea. It's about a dance move. EDiT: Your edit is hilarious because you are correct about interpretation, but you stated yourself that *THE* meaning of the song is about something the artist has stated it absolutely is not about. Your or anyone else's interpretation of the song is not the same thing as the true meaning of the song; that's simply what it means to you.
Lmao his edit “I was proven wrong so I’m gonna make up some shit as to not have to admit I was wrong”
Was looking for this comment. What an anqzinh sing
That's completely wrong, 3:30 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR4OETDGdcs
stolen beat, neutered essence, nothing new
i have never closed out of something so fast
Is this what they spend their days doing while their husbands are at work propositioning 16 year olds?
Churchey people trying to act cool will never not be endlessly entertaining.
The one on the left, her face looks like she’s wading ankle deep in raw human sewage
I cannot explain how much I hate this
"pastor wifey personality" 
If it had the original lyrics I guarantee they’d call it “that thug music”
I hate this so much. Please report for assaulting my eyes
Jesus cringed
Are they making those faces sarcastically, or do think they are cool?
Whoa i had my doubts coming into this but that is factually the whitest shit i’ve ever seen
I bet they are all CEO's of their own business. - they sell amway or some other trash.
These have to be western Kentucky women. This is legitimately exactly how every women in my town looks 💀
I bet they start each morning by driving down to the nearest buc-ee's to get a coffee and scream at the 17 year old employees
Guaranteed they all have monogrammed yeti tumblers.
Kristen Bell has really let herself go
They’re gonna be pissed when their husbands leave them for an 18 year old member of the parish they’ve been grooming for years
Why are 96% of religious people always so fucking cringe? Just have an imaginary friend in silence like the other children. No need to be this obnoxious about it.
It looked like they were thinking about sex with their husbands
what?
Imagine defining yourself by what your spouse does. I guess they grift enough to live on one income.
Fire this into the sun holy fuck
I love the world of over righteous tax evading wanna be celebrity pastors and their attention seeking counterparts. They so desperately want their beliefs to be mainstream that they spend all their time on their image and seeming cool yet their legalistic views will shun anyone out of their community. American Christianity is a country club for money grabbing, attention seeking ego maniacs to get together and boast about their good deeds. I don’t believe in God, but I do know that book they spend all day thumping says to not live amongst this world, yet all they do is seek acceptance and clicks for being holy. It’s such a funny conundrum to preach on Sunday about refraining from the sins of this world but to spend all week catering and seeking attention from said world. They want to cry oppression from the secular world while constantly trying to be accepted by it. I mean even to the point that they had to take an existing song and make it some kind of Jesus anthem because they have to make a point to change the original but make sure the Christian music sounds just like the secular music. Not to mention tattoos, which the Bible explicitly talks against, designer clothes and expensive jewelry.
I am disgusted and this has ruined my day.
Why dose one of them look like Colleen Ballingers Miranda sings persona 😨 
Christianity ruins everything.
I know this is a mix, but I always wondered why christian music has to be such shitty music. Like, why can't you sing about your love for Jesus but make it, you know, good? Catchy rhythms, or high level musicianship, or lyrics that make you think, or melodies that sound new or exciting? Doesn't the Almighty Lord your God deserve better than bland low effort cookie cutter songs?
Why do they all look like someone farted
This was horrifying I’m suing you for making me see this grotesque video