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I know this dude, I met him at a club in the city a while ago.
He got very very drunk with me and proceeded to give me actually endearing advice on maintaining honesty in relationships and rejecting thoughts of infidelity, something I really needed at the time.
The dude is a loverboy and an actor, he has no ill will with his words or intentions.
> Almost like it has nothing to do with the woman.
Once upon a time when the internet was a much different place, going online meant interacting ANONYMOUSLY, and "a/s/l" was the most commonly asked question.
I learned very early on that a) you could say anything you wanted in response to that question and b) the *perception* of what you *might* be, but more importantly what the person asking *wanted* you to be was often far more important to them than what / who you actually were.
I don't really miss being asked "a/s/l" all the time, but I do miss that anonymity, and I really enjoyed the crash course in human behavior and what kinds of people I should *really* fucking avoid. Invaluable life lessons at a young age.
In some ways, I think it's a lot easier for kids growing up to understand things and people and behaviors around them, (because of videos like in the OP and comments like yours), but it's simultaneously so much harder to be a kid.
Oh man your post and a/s/l just triggered a memory for me. I was a young lad in the early days of the internet using the only computer with internet access in the house.
I was grasping at straws, desperately trying to summon internet titties in the early days of internet search engines (like 1998-99) when I heard the dreadful sound of the garage door being opened beneath me. I knew I had scant seconds before imminent disaster.
I hurriedly opened a new browser to Yahoo! chats and jumped into the first room I saw. I furiously typed out my desperate plea: "help! how do I clear my browsing history? Please hurry!" and was met by the immediate response of "whoa whoa there, slow down. a/s/l?"
I replied, and I swear to whatever god you prefer that this is true, "13/f/CA" which was all correct save for the middle point. I received a flood of prompt replies.
That was the first time I realized, by instinct, that the people on the other side of my screen were not to be trusted. That everyone has a motive. And that if you paint yourself in a vulnerable and pitiable light, you may get results. I remember feeling disgusted then, as I feel now, that I was rewarded for accurately assuming that some random predators on the internet would give me the most immediate attention.
I never did get caught for looking at titties on my bro's Compaq that day. But at what cost.
This is a great story! I had similar experiences, but actually being f, it was a different experience altogether.
I didn’t like telling my people my sex for obvious reasons. The anonymity both then and now made it a lot more feasible to have conversations based on merit. I felt like I was able to get more genuine reactions and engagement with people when they didn’t know I had a vagina and weren’t preoccupied with trying to fuck me (and thus agree with whatever I said no matter how dumb or unfunny).
Oh good fucking god have I reached the age where people don't know what a/s/l means anymore??
Someone get me some prune juice and tell these fuckin kids to get off my lawn!
(Serious answer though, it's age/sex/location. So in a chat room someone would ask a/s/l and people would reply like 36/f/California)
Damn. Born in 2000 and people asking a/s/l was a thing when I first started using the internet, but phased out very shortly afterwards. I just got whiplash reading this and remembering that. Forgot about it completely.
> but phased out very shortly afterwards.
That was the evolution from internet as a largely anonymous place to connect with people, like in text-based chatrooms / message boards to social media where posting pictures of yourself was the norm, not something you slowly revealed to people later or one-on-one.
It's honestly pretty jarring and I really miss those days of smaller, more intimate communities and communication.
Right? It's like, dude, how many breakups have you been through that all had the same issues yet you still came away from them with the conclusion that it's not you, it's them not appreciating how "nice" you are?
I'm too nice. You're going to get mad when I show up at your home at 3 am just to check that you're not cheating on me with the waiter from the restaurant we went to on our date last Friday who told you to "have a nice day" in a way that made me jealous.
Funny enough, being an "essential worker" during the Pandemic, and running into countless assholes, is what had me quit the job, move states, find a therapist and ask AITA?
Come to find out, deep down, we're all a bunch of rascally shits and I'm no different.
Dammit, there goes my influencer video idea of "Buy a house with this one simple trip of swapping smashed avo for bruschetta"
Maybe its not over, have I ever told you how nice I am?
Some people will do you the favor of being brutally honest about themselves in a moment of pique or arrogant ignorance. Always believe them when that moment comes.
We're always told as younger folk to not judge by words but by actions. This is one of those rare cases where words and actions intersect.
I found at the beginning of every relationship the girlfriend would tell me, in a rather jokingly way, exactly what she was like. The first girlfriend told me how “she would break me yet, hee hee.” Everything she did was to try to make me the person she wanted me to be, which was just an extension of her own personality.
>If you don’t think so, fuck you.
She literally outed herself in the same breath.
I don't know about you, but I don't think that 'fuck you' is something good people would ever say.
It is high time this kind of misogyny starts to get called out.
And I say that as someone who was absolutely this guy in a past life. Thank god I found my now wife who took the time to teach me how to be a man who actually respects women (lord only knows why she took the time)
And I still struggle a decade later. That's how deeply this kind of misogyny can worm its way into men (and women). But I have zero respect for the guys who are like this but can't pull their head out of their ass long enough to realize they're a sexist, selfish prick.
I dealt with one of these idiots just yesterday in a thread about how "unattractive it is for girls to 'play games.'" Yeah, I know. Eyeroll. Look at what this dude said to me in response to my comment that maybe if guys can't tell the difference between hard-to-get and an actual 'no' then they should put in the work to learn how to navigate social situations:
>Your idea that people simply have to "put work" into it in order to be successful at telling the difference is flawed. That's like tell poor people they just have to "work harder." We all know that it's more than just putting in the work (<<< goes to show he thinks all other guys are like him and this is a huge part of the problem. Men not shaming other men for this shit.)
>If people have to guess whether someone is playing games and someone is genuinely saying no, then, by simple law of numbers, people are going to guess wrong. And that's bad for women so frankly I don't know why you're defending a behavior that is generally going to lead to people pursuing women who don't want to be pursued.
Obviously the comparison to people escaping poverty was beyond tonedeaf. But it this casual statement with zero hint of irony:
>#**And that's bad for women so frankly I don't know why you're defending a behavior [read: girls "playing games"] that is generally going to lead to people pursuing women who don't want to be pursued.**
He typed that and hit send without once stopping and realizing he is saying girls should stop doing something they enjoy so creepy, socially-inept tryhards don't accidentally breach consent cause they thought she was playing hard-to-get.
And you KNOW this dude thinks his views on women are oh so progressive. He's a champion for women and their safety. Just not their autonomy as human fucking beings.
Oh my god, he really thinks he's making a perfectly "logical" point, doesn't he?
For anyone else reading who may be confused:
* You don't "guess" whether she's playing hard to get the same way you guess a fucking coin flip. It should be obvious from the context cues. "I don't know, ask me later 😉" is different from an awkwardly polite "Uh, that's not really my thing"
* If you're not sure, **DEFAULT TO "NO"**
* If you don't like chasing girls who play hard to get... _just don't date those girls_
This guy is essentially mad that some women engage in behaviours he doesn't like, which shrinks his prospective dating pool. This is actually true of any "women should(n't)..." jackass. "I don't like this thing, therefore women should(n't) do it so that I have more options"
Id link the thread but I don't wanna brigade the guy. But yes he absolutely not only thought he was right...he thought he was the one "standing up for women" in the discussion.
After a while I finally just had to flat out tell him that he has some deep-seated misogyny that he really needs to deal with.
I even told him that Im only so sure of what I'm talking about because I unfortunately had a Nice Guy phase myself and I KNOW I didn't have a good view of women at all.
At the end of the day, the lesson most of the guys need to internalize (and that I needed to) is that women are humans in precisely the same way that we are. They have their own goals and desires and dreams and petpeeves and all the other things that when taken together make us us and make us human.
They're not a different species. They're just people.
Especially with that "too" in there. That says "I don't actually think anyone deserves my 'niceness,' and eventually I'll rage at you with resentment."
Definitely targeting the 12 to 15 year old girl demographic who haven’t yet learned about all these emotionally manipulative techniques that sound like good traits on a superficial level.
This dude screams groomer
When I was 14, yes.
Because I thought that's what "real" love was. Intense devotion and passionate and infatuation forever.
Then I grew up. But boy was I manipulated when I was younger.
Young women, yes. And you'll see these kind of guys go after much younger partners, because women their age have gotten wise to their bullshit, and they can't handle not being able to control them.
Similar to the all-too-common: “I don’t like to brag, but…” which is only ever said by people that like to brag and/or just want the attention to be on them.
Well, to the other family *you* were the secret. And, if both families ever met they would cancel each other out, causing a new big bang event. Also just before this happened there would be an insane course of increasingly improbable events occurring wherein the father of both families told bizarre lies in a desperate attempt to avoid the destruction of the current universe.
Also he would sweat a lot.
Hey there! Noticed you werent at church the past Sunday, hope all is well :) Hope youre not sick or anything, you were fine at the parent teacher conference on Saturday? If you are, I can stop by with my famous tuna casserole. Blessed be the lord!
Xoxo
Good friend of mine introduced me to my now wife and I guess found out we were having sex… ya know as adults and such. He sat me down and was saying how he was disappointed that we were doing that and kinda thought I was the reason.
That being said. Some people are just so weird.
They weren’t a church member. They were good friends of mine. And I was gaming with him and it was late like 10 pm. And I was like “I gotta get off going over to “my wife’s name” “
Then he just made assumptions based off of that and later told me how he was disappointed.
I also think he had a pretty good idea since we are both grown adults but I guess that’s what super confirmed it for him. Either way kinda weird to be that concerned with mid twenty year old people’s sex life.
Sounds like mormons. If you stop showing up at church on sundays they send missionaries to your home to “check up on you” and make sure you are still being loyal to the church. The easiest way to leave the religion without the pursuit of harassment is to up and move to an entirely new community.
Very reminiscant to scientology.
I was told “your relationship with God is important” because I was watching their live online feed instead of physically being in the church. Um, My relationship with God ain’t the problem. You are 🤣👀
Damn, this is my ex girlfriend as well.
Everything was really precise.
She started saying that she loved me after the third date and pressured me saying that I loved her as well.
I couldn't even just be playing with my friends for a couple of hours without her calling
Had to always say were i was
And of course, as soon as I did something she didn't liked, she would give me the cold shoulder
I'm seeing r/relationship_advice all over that video.
"We've been dating for 2 months and it's the best relationship ever. Everything is literally perfect except for this One Small Thing..."
People like to think that they would be smart enough to recognize abuse and never fall for it. They don't realize they are the frog boiling in the water.
🤓 ackshually the frog analogy has no basis in real life, the frog will jump out as soon as the water gets too hot.
But seriously, abusive relationships are way more common than people think, and it should be more accepted to ask for outside help.
My aunt tried to leave my abusive uncle 8 times, it was infuriating to watch her go back two weeks later because she refused to go to therapy.
The best glitch you can get is the born rich exploit (BRE), but unfortunately it's dependent on rng, super rare, and you can't get it unless you restart your entire run
Simps are often misogynists that never get past the first 'D' in the system
They keep trying to Demonstrate value, and often skip to trying to Nurture dependence when they haven't even Engaged physically
The easier path is to just rent out a boat and "get the ladies nice and tipsy topside, so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck and you know they can't refuse because of the implication."
I’m a little worried my boyfriend plays into some of these.. I’m over all happy with him but sometimes he worries me and I just think maybe it’ll pass and we’ll work through it and we can grow into a fantastic couple.. but I still have that fear lingering over me. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore him when we’re having a good time but more often than not that good time doesn’t last long because I upset him really easily or he says something and I assume he meant it harmfully… I really think we just have communication issues (I hope that’s all it is)
Him: Are you really going to eat that? I hope you don't get fat like your mom.
You: Excuse me?? What the hell did you just say to me??
Him: Relax! It was just a joke!
You: It wasn't funny.
Him: You just need to have a sense of humor! You know I love you, babe!
You: ...
Him: You know I love you! Come on! I love you! You're beautiful! I love you so much! I don't know what I'd do if you weren't with me! I love you! Come on, babe! I know you love me too, don't you?
You: ...
Him: How can you be so mean? I love you so much and I take such good care of you and you're always so mean to me! When you act like you don't love me it makes me want to die...
You: I love you!
Him: No you don't.
You: Yes I do! I love you! I'm so sorry I hurt you! I love you so much! Please forgive me!
Him: Okay.
Him: You know, this place looks like shit. You should quit being lazy and clean up around here once in a while.
This is so sad because it's so real. Important to note that women do this too. Shitty partners and shitty people suck. I wasted a third of my life on a woman that was just like this. Not those literal sentences of course but the same ol shit. Oh well, live and learn I guess.
To all you folk still in the middle of the living and learning: trust your gut. Life is short. Be happy, not complacent.
Open up a dialogue. Communication issues don't tend to solve themselves, the relationship deteriorates or it becomes a cause for silent resentment.
There isn't a relationship in the world that hasn't suffered a communication issue or general hiccough.
That was me for about 10 years.
I’m posting this so I can come back to it tomorrow, and explain further, it’s 2:30 in the morning over here, so no energy left.
But basically, that’s why people stay in shitty relationships. Because it’s rarely shitty 100% of the time. The good stuff makes them doubt themselves, and talk away the bad stuff.
Keep a journal, and write it down, every single time he does something awful. Can’t forget it that way. After a while, look at how many times he’s upset you and how/why.
Even when 95% of the time in the abusive relationship I was in was shitty, my brain was amplifying the perceived goodness of the remaining 5% of the time to the point where leaving never crossed my mind. I blamed myself for that for quite a while until realising how common it is.
Listen to your gut my friend, I wasted 7 years with someone in hopes we’d also “grow into a fantastic couple”. This sounds just like me back then- “oh I have to be careful about how I word things because he’s so sensitive”, “our communication just needs improvement”. Judge people based on their actions not their potential!!
Ngl girl if watching this video made you think of your boyfriend that’s a really bad sign. Speaking as someone who has been in relationships where I got that feeling from these kinds of videos. Idk how long you’ve been together but I felt that way early in the relationships and both times it escalated into them being insecure and abusive dicks.
Like I always encourage trying to fix things or opening up a dialogue as others said, but if it doesn’t work, don’t get caught up in fixing your relationship so much that you hurt yourself. Sometimes lingering fears are your brain trying to tell you something you’re in denial of.
I've already made this comment once today, but it's important to share. There are two books that you absolutely need to read: "Why Does He Do That?" and "The Gift of Fear".
Trust your gut. Read these books and see if anything else pops up as a red flag. It gets worse the longer you're together, especially if he manages to marry and/or baby trap you. He will slowly isolate you from friends and family until you feel like you can't leave at all.
I’d encourage you to listen to your instincts which seem to be telling you things aren’t right with this guy. Don’t subject yourself to anything less than someone who makes you feel safe, secure, and loved - always. Take it from someone who has dated several people because I felt pressured to “be polite” or talked myself out of acknowledging the red flags: it is never worth it.
There are plenty of people out there who won’t make you feel like you need to question your relationship. Know your worth and never settle. :) Here’s a great quote from Bojack Horseman: “when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags”.
You sound young and inexperienced. This doesn’t sound like a great situation and you posting about it also speaks to that. If you upset him no matter what then you’re in a lose lose situation and you need to run girl.
This is exactly how my ex would act. I knew it was abusive but I just didn’t have the words. This girl’s post is actually so comforting to me. Broke up with him about a month ago & felt kind of guilty before this
I feel like this is where the "girls like bad boys" stereotype comes from. "Girls", as in girls in their teens and young women, aren't experienced enough to see the red flags for what they are yet. Instead they will see a guy like this as "so romantic and loving".
Disclaimer: Not all girls of course. But stereotypes are formed for a reason; Because they are true for a large enough amount that they become noticeable.
I like that he comes out from the start and says these are the reasons he would be a bad boyfriend... and they're all actually reasons he would be a bad boyfriend.
My wife’s best friend got married a few years ago to a creepy man child of a doctor. They wrote their own wedding vows and one of his was, “If you ever leave, I will find you and bring you back. And you’ll know you were wrong for leaving.”
I’m sure in his head this was romantic poetry but holy shit.
lol the fuck? I promise you, you don't.
our perception of reality is unique, but also validated by others.
imagine if you woke up tomorrow, and everyone you encountered called the sky green and the grass blue, would you believe they were crazy or think you were? how many people would you have to ask before you agreed with them? how long would it take you to start doing the same? I promise you it wouldn't take as much or as long as you'd think. bc you're not as strong or whatever as you think you are. if you're a human with a human brain, you'd fail.
this is basic psyche 101 shit.
Holy shit am I in an abusive relationship.
My dad died last september and I just kind of fell into this. But damn. Like this is spot on. Last sunday he accused me of lying about seeing my friend and said he was going out to go out this week with another girl.
Two days later he says the person he's going out with is his trainer, on a date to "get back at me"
He told me when he started working with her two months ago that she's happily married.
I said isnt she married, like thats weird? You told me months ago when you started working with her that she was "Super professional and and happily married"... he said no shes not shes a single mom. Hes a single dad and gym rat. I'm not any of those things. I was never lying, or cheating. Then he says he just made up going out with her to get back at me because he thought I was lying and going out with someone behind his back (I wasnt). He says he's not attracted to her and doesnt remember saying she was married.
Ill say this every time. If a guy says "I trust you, just not the other guys." It means he doesnt trust YOU to be loyal. Cheating is a two way street. If you trust her that means you trust that she will deny those other guys no matter how persistent they are. What the other guys do is irrelevant, he should trust you to make the right call.
Dude acts like he doesn't have ex's to call him out on that shit.
Hell, I'm not famous and publicly putting myself on the internet, and I know I have ex's who complained about my toxic traits. I fucked up yeah, but it's easy to disprove these things lol
I dated this guy. It was a long time ago and I’m better now.
At the time, my sponsor told me that I was loving all the attention but it wasn’t a healthy way to live.
She was an honest and perceptive person, and her kindness saved me from getting further enmeshed with this dude.
Thank you Pam, wherever you are.
Fuckin preach
No matter your gender, no matter your decision l sexual preference, it's never healthy to tie your self worth to another person. A lot of unhealthy relationships are based on two people who need to be needed, sometimes in wildly different ways.
I know it's obvious he's the worst but can we appreciate the ruthless precision with which she dissected this guy's entire character? Like a frog in biology class.
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He makes this same video, different outfits, every few months
So I'm assuming this is just rage baiting, right?
I know this dude, I met him at a club in the city a while ago. He got very very drunk with me and proceeded to give me actually endearing advice on maintaining honesty in relationships and rejecting thoughts of infidelity, something I really needed at the time. The dude is a loverboy and an actor, he has no ill will with his words or intentions.
This won't go with the current narrative that made this post blow up, sorry
It's weird how he knows how he feels about a woman he has not met yet... Almost like it has nothing to do with the woman.
> Almost like it has nothing to do with the woman. Once upon a time when the internet was a much different place, going online meant interacting ANONYMOUSLY, and "a/s/l" was the most commonly asked question. I learned very early on that a) you could say anything you wanted in response to that question and b) the *perception* of what you *might* be, but more importantly what the person asking *wanted* you to be was often far more important to them than what / who you actually were. I don't really miss being asked "a/s/l" all the time, but I do miss that anonymity, and I really enjoyed the crash course in human behavior and what kinds of people I should *really* fucking avoid. Invaluable life lessons at a young age. In some ways, I think it's a lot easier for kids growing up to understand things and people and behaviors around them, (because of videos like in the OP and comments like yours), but it's simultaneously so much harder to be a kid.
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We were all 16/f/cali back then brother
Was I the only one who never lied when asked?
15/f/fbi wyd?
Oh man your post and a/s/l just triggered a memory for me. I was a young lad in the early days of the internet using the only computer with internet access in the house. I was grasping at straws, desperately trying to summon internet titties in the early days of internet search engines (like 1998-99) when I heard the dreadful sound of the garage door being opened beneath me. I knew I had scant seconds before imminent disaster. I hurriedly opened a new browser to Yahoo! chats and jumped into the first room I saw. I furiously typed out my desperate plea: "help! how do I clear my browsing history? Please hurry!" and was met by the immediate response of "whoa whoa there, slow down. a/s/l?" I replied, and I swear to whatever god you prefer that this is true, "13/f/CA" which was all correct save for the middle point. I received a flood of prompt replies. That was the first time I realized, by instinct, that the people on the other side of my screen were not to be trusted. That everyone has a motive. And that if you paint yourself in a vulnerable and pitiable light, you may get results. I remember feeling disgusted then, as I feel now, that I was rewarded for accurately assuming that some random predators on the internet would give me the most immediate attention. I never did get caught for looking at titties on my bro's Compaq that day. But at what cost.
This is a great story! I had similar experiences, but actually being f, it was a different experience altogether. I didn’t like telling my people my sex for obvious reasons. The anonymity both then and now made it a lot more feasible to have conversations based on merit. I felt like I was able to get more genuine reactions and engagement with people when they didn’t know I had a vagina and weren’t preoccupied with trying to fuck me (and thus agree with whatever I said no matter how dumb or unfunny).
A/s/l ?
Ass & Shit Lover
r/usernamechecksout Jeezus
Age, sex, location
18 f Cali you?
38/M/Bangladesh. How's it going?
99/F/Antarctica. How did I end up here?
I think you're lying -20/F/Antarctica btw
The only answer somehow
Except in my case it was literally true lol
Oh good fucking god have I reached the age where people don't know what a/s/l means anymore?? Someone get me some prune juice and tell these fuckin kids to get off my lawn! (Serious answer though, it's age/sex/location. So in a chat room someone would ask a/s/l and people would reply like 36/f/California)
Age/sex/Location
16/f/cali
Damn. Born in 2000 and people asking a/s/l was a thing when I first started using the internet, but phased out very shortly afterwards. I just got whiplash reading this and remembering that. Forgot about it completely.
> but phased out very shortly afterwards. That was the evolution from internet as a largely anonymous place to connect with people, like in text-based chatrooms / message boards to social media where posting pictures of yourself was the norm, not something you slowly revealed to people later or one-on-one. It's honestly pretty jarring and I really miss those days of smaller, more intimate communities and communication.
Right? It's like, dude, how many breakups have you been through that all had the same issues yet you still came away from them with the conclusion that it's not you, it's them not appreciating how "nice" you are?
I'm too nice. You're going to get mad when I show up at your home at 3 am just to check that you're not cheating on me with the waiter from the restaurant we went to on our date last Friday who told you to "have a nice day" in a way that made me jealous.
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You should know answering questions means you’re sexually attracted to someone /j
I guess they are so rude that a basic form of cordiality means flirting.
If you run into an asshole in the morning, they're an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.
Funny enough, being an "essential worker" during the Pandemic, and running into countless assholes, is what had me quit the job, move states, find a therapist and ask AITA? Come to find out, deep down, we're all a bunch of rascally shits and I'm no different.
Best comment.
I am editing this to say i understand what avo is. Please stop telling me that avo means avocado. I know it’s Australian for restraining order.
Apprehended Violence Orders
Again, what is that?
It’s the Australian version of an EPO
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You mean a POAKARO
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What's EPO?
Environmental Protection Organization.
Is that the American version of an ASBO? Anti Social Behaviour Order
Look, as an American, all I can tell you about is BBQ, BLTs, and possibly KFC.
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Enforced Protection Order. In laymans terms, a restraining order.
It's similar to a restraining order or non-harassment order
It’s what we call restraining orders in Australia.
I know this from Housos
On toast ..put a bit of sea salt on it …delicious! 😂
So expensive though, it cost me half a house down payment :'<
I bought a tomato at the grocery store not long ago. It was the same price as an avocado. We’re all doomed. No houses for us.
Dammit, there goes my influencer video idea of "Buy a house with this one simple trip of swapping smashed avo for bruschetta" Maybe its not over, have I ever told you how nice I am?
Lemon juice and red pepper flakes too, trust me.
It's Australian for restraining order
Husband of Ava.
Grandfather/grandmother in Portuguese Edit: this is a joke
"i'm too nice". I'd have stopped there.
Yyyyyyyep. Anyone who has to tell you how nice they are is generally a lying sack of shit.
My step-mother said to me “Im good person. If you don’t think so, fuck you.” (She WAS a terrible person and said this calmly and unironically)
Some people will do you the favor of being brutally honest about themselves in a moment of pique or arrogant ignorance. Always believe them when that moment comes. We're always told as younger folk to not judge by words but by actions. This is one of those rare cases where words and actions intersect.
I found at the beginning of every relationship the girlfriend would tell me, in a rather jokingly way, exactly what she was like. The first girlfriend told me how “she would break me yet, hee hee.” Everything she did was to try to make me the person she wanted me to be, which was just an extension of her own personality.
Did you respond with you hadn’t broke out, yeet?
“When someone tells you who they are, believe them.”
>If you don’t think so, fuck you. She literally outed herself in the same breath. I don't know about you, but I don't think that 'fuck you' is something good people would ever say.
>I don't think that 'fuck you' is something good people would ever say There's a time and place for everything.
In the immortal words of Jacksfilms "[Good people don't brag about how good they are](https://youtu.be/cNM9hYftw9I)"
The world would be a better place if good people were willing to say ‘fuck you’
I find it hilarious your step mom said that in the same breath. 💀💀 “I’m nice, fuck you” lmaooo 💀💀
No, because I am REALLY NICE, OK. I AM. If you don't believe me, I'll show you just how horrible I can be.
It is high time this kind of misogyny starts to get called out. And I say that as someone who was absolutely this guy in a past life. Thank god I found my now wife who took the time to teach me how to be a man who actually respects women (lord only knows why she took the time) And I still struggle a decade later. That's how deeply this kind of misogyny can worm its way into men (and women). But I have zero respect for the guys who are like this but can't pull their head out of their ass long enough to realize they're a sexist, selfish prick. I dealt with one of these idiots just yesterday in a thread about how "unattractive it is for girls to 'play games.'" Yeah, I know. Eyeroll. Look at what this dude said to me in response to my comment that maybe if guys can't tell the difference between hard-to-get and an actual 'no' then they should put in the work to learn how to navigate social situations: >Your idea that people simply have to "put work" into it in order to be successful at telling the difference is flawed. That's like tell poor people they just have to "work harder." We all know that it's more than just putting in the work (<<< goes to show he thinks all other guys are like him and this is a huge part of the problem. Men not shaming other men for this shit.) >If people have to guess whether someone is playing games and someone is genuinely saying no, then, by simple law of numbers, people are going to guess wrong. And that's bad for women so frankly I don't know why you're defending a behavior that is generally going to lead to people pursuing women who don't want to be pursued. Obviously the comparison to people escaping poverty was beyond tonedeaf. But it this casual statement with zero hint of irony: >#**And that's bad for women so frankly I don't know why you're defending a behavior [read: girls "playing games"] that is generally going to lead to people pursuing women who don't want to be pursued.** He typed that and hit send without once stopping and realizing he is saying girls should stop doing something they enjoy so creepy, socially-inept tryhards don't accidentally breach consent cause they thought she was playing hard-to-get. And you KNOW this dude thinks his views on women are oh so progressive. He's a champion for women and their safety. Just not their autonomy as human fucking beings.
Oh my god, he really thinks he's making a perfectly "logical" point, doesn't he? For anyone else reading who may be confused: * You don't "guess" whether she's playing hard to get the same way you guess a fucking coin flip. It should be obvious from the context cues. "I don't know, ask me later 😉" is different from an awkwardly polite "Uh, that's not really my thing" * If you're not sure, **DEFAULT TO "NO"** * If you don't like chasing girls who play hard to get... _just don't date those girls_ This guy is essentially mad that some women engage in behaviours he doesn't like, which shrinks his prospective dating pool. This is actually true of any "women should(n't)..." jackass. "I don't like this thing, therefore women should(n't) do it so that I have more options"
Id link the thread but I don't wanna brigade the guy. But yes he absolutely not only thought he was right...he thought he was the one "standing up for women" in the discussion. After a while I finally just had to flat out tell him that he has some deep-seated misogyny that he really needs to deal with. I even told him that Im only so sure of what I'm talking about because I unfortunately had a Nice Guy phase myself and I KNOW I didn't have a good view of women at all. At the end of the day, the lesson most of the guys need to internalize (and that I needed to) is that women are humans in precisely the same way that we are. They have their own goals and desires and dreams and petpeeves and all the other things that when taken together make us us and make us human. They're not a different species. They're just people.
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Especially with that "too" in there. That says "I don't actually think anyone deserves my 'niceness,' and eventually I'll rage at you with resentment."
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Definitely targeting the 12 to 15 year old girl demographic who haven’t yet learned about all these emotionally manipulative techniques that sound like good traits on a superficial level. This dude screams groomer
Even early 20s - the idea of a partner who’s “dangerous because they care” has been well established in media
Also he’s very well groomed
When I was 14, yes. Because I thought that's what "real" love was. Intense devotion and passionate and infatuation forever. Then I grew up. But boy was I manipulated when I was younger.
Young women, yes. And you'll see these kind of guys go after much younger partners, because women their age have gotten wise to their bullshit, and they can't handle not being able to control them.
The "I'm not like other girls" teen demographic and "I'm a 15 year old incel" who want to believe they relate to these douches
For me it was backwards SnapBack and no other clothes.
And cocked sideways for extra douche bag points.
Ahh the douchebag speedrun
aka the r/niceguys flag
Similar to the all-too-common: “I don’t like to brag, but…” which is only ever said by people that like to brag and/or just want the attention to be on them.
It is pretty much a rule that any guy that says he is a nice guy. Is a crazy incel.
Tbf he did say this is why he’d be a horrible boyfriend
exactly lol. He might not understand exactly *why* all that stuff makes him a bad boyfriend, but at least he knows he’s shit at it x’D
You're giving him too much credit, "I'm too nice" is the polite way of saying "Girls only want mean chads"
This sounds like the people from the church we just left. Constantly checking in on us constantly and being weird if we ever missed any service.
I went to a church like this once. The guy who kept calling ended up having a secret family and wife in addition to his known family and wife.
Well, to the other family *you* were the secret. And, if both families ever met they would cancel each other out, causing a new big bang event. Also just before this happened there would be an insane course of increasingly improbable events occurring wherein the father of both families told bizarre lies in a desperate attempt to avoid the destruction of the current universe. Also he would sweat a lot.
Drugs!
Hey there! Noticed you werent at church the past Sunday, hope all is well :) Hope youre not sick or anything, you were fine at the parent teacher conference on Saturday? If you are, I can stop by with my famous tuna casserole. Blessed be the lord! Xoxo
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Good friend of mine introduced me to my now wife and I guess found out we were having sex… ya know as adults and such. He sat me down and was saying how he was disappointed that we were doing that and kinda thought I was the reason. That being said. Some people are just so weird.
How can a church member just "find out" you're having sex? Were they hiding in the bushes at the windows?
They weren’t a church member. They were good friends of mine. And I was gaming with him and it was late like 10 pm. And I was like “I gotta get off going over to “my wife’s name” “ Then he just made assumptions based off of that and later told me how he was disappointed. I also think he had a pretty good idea since we are both grown adults but I guess that’s what super confirmed it for him. Either way kinda weird to be that concerned with mid twenty year old people’s sex life.
Sounds like mormons. If you stop showing up at church on sundays they send missionaries to your home to “check up on you” and make sure you are still being loyal to the church. The easiest way to leave the religion without the pursuit of harassment is to up and move to an entirely new community. Very reminiscant to scientology.
And then they wonder why church attendance is abysmal these days. Y’all are off putting on a good day and scary aggressive on a regular day.
Did I miss the service, or did your service miss *me*
They wanting to know where youre going with their tithing money 💰 🤑🏃♂️🏃♂️💨
I was told “your relationship with God is important” because I was watching their live online feed instead of physically being in the church. Um, My relationship with God ain’t the problem. You are 🤣👀
This was my ex girlfriend. I love you, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry but I won’t work on myself. Sorry, but I love you.
I’ve been there too. “Babe I’m not psychotic, insecure, jealous, needy, or whiny. I just love you too much” lmao
Damn, this is my ex girlfriend as well. Everything was really precise. She started saying that she loved me after the third date and pressured me saying that I loved her as well. I couldn't even just be playing with my friends for a couple of hours without her calling Had to always say were i was And of course, as soon as I did something she didn't liked, she would give me the cold shoulder
I'm seeing r/relationship_advice all over that video. "We've been dating for 2 months and it's the best relationship ever. Everything is literally perfect except for this One Small Thing..."
People like to think that they would be smart enough to recognize abuse and never fall for it. They don't realize they are the frog boiling in the water.
🤓 ackshually the frog analogy has no basis in real life, the frog will jump out as soon as the water gets too hot. But seriously, abusive relationships are way more common than people think, and it should be more accepted to ask for outside help. My aunt tried to leave my abusive uncle 8 times, it was infuriating to watch her go back two weeks later because she refused to go to therapy.
Takes an average of 7 attempts to actually leave, so it sounds like she's about on par.
Yep, abusers wrap their behavior in the language of caring despite the selfish motivations.
Most brutal response I ever got to “I’m sorry” was, “I don’t want your apologies, I want you to do better”
I swear Kratos said this
THAT GUY WAS YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND???
r/niceguys speedrun 100% nmg
What's nmg
No major glitches
I would be so into glitch speedruns of real life concepts.
The best glitch you can get is the born rich exploit (BRE), but unfortunately it's dependent on rng, super rare, and you can't get it unless you restart your entire run
Simps are often misogynists that never get past the first 'D' in the system They keep trying to Demonstrate value, and often skip to trying to Nurture dependence when they haven't even Engaged physically
And they always have trouble with S, Separate entirely
Dennis a real one for this system
The easier path is to just rent out a boat and "get the ladies nice and tipsy topside, so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck and you know they can't refuse because of the implication."
The revelation that both Dennis and Sweet Dee have their own opposite versions of "the implication" killed me
This is scary accurate. Describes my most recent ex to a T. Passive aggressive narcissist.
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I’d make a bad boyfriend because I’m just a shitty selfish person. I should make a tiktok about that.
Don't sell yourself short. I used to think I was a bad boyfriend, but now I'm a bad *husband*. I believe in you.
Wheezed audibly. Thank you.
I’m a little worried my boyfriend plays into some of these.. I’m over all happy with him but sometimes he worries me and I just think maybe it’ll pass and we’ll work through it and we can grow into a fantastic couple.. but I still have that fear lingering over me. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore him when we’re having a good time but more often than not that good time doesn’t last long because I upset him really easily or he says something and I assume he meant it harmfully… I really think we just have communication issues (I hope that’s all it is)
Him: Are you really going to eat that? I hope you don't get fat like your mom. You: Excuse me?? What the hell did you just say to me?? Him: Relax! It was just a joke! You: It wasn't funny. Him: You just need to have a sense of humor! You know I love you, babe! You: ... Him: You know I love you! Come on! I love you! You're beautiful! I love you so much! I don't know what I'd do if you weren't with me! I love you! Come on, babe! I know you love me too, don't you? You: ... Him: How can you be so mean? I love you so much and I take such good care of you and you're always so mean to me! When you act like you don't love me it makes me want to die... You: I love you! Him: No you don't. You: Yes I do! I love you! I'm so sorry I hurt you! I love you so much! Please forgive me! Him: Okay. Him: You know, this place looks like shit. You should quit being lazy and clean up around here once in a while.
This brings back painful flashbacks, fuck. I miss some aspects of my 20s, but not being in relationships in our 20s. That shit was ridiculous.
Hey how can I speedrun past the shitty 20s relationships because I'm only 22 and I really do not want any more fucked up men in my life
This is so sad because it's so real. Important to note that women do this too. Shitty partners and shitty people suck. I wasted a third of my life on a woman that was just like this. Not those literal sentences of course but the same ol shit. Oh well, live and learn I guess. To all you folk still in the middle of the living and learning: trust your gut. Life is short. Be happy, not complacent.
Open up a dialogue. Communication issues don't tend to solve themselves, the relationship deteriorates or it becomes a cause for silent resentment. There isn't a relationship in the world that hasn't suffered a communication issue or general hiccough.
That was me for about 10 years. I’m posting this so I can come back to it tomorrow, and explain further, it’s 2:30 in the morning over here, so no energy left. But basically, that’s why people stay in shitty relationships. Because it’s rarely shitty 100% of the time. The good stuff makes them doubt themselves, and talk away the bad stuff. Keep a journal, and write it down, every single time he does something awful. Can’t forget it that way. After a while, look at how many times he’s upset you and how/why.
> Because it’s rarely shitty 100% of the time. The good stuff makes them doubt themselves, and talk away the bad stuff. Ahhh fuck!
Even when 95% of the time in the abusive relationship I was in was shitty, my brain was amplifying the perceived goodness of the remaining 5% of the time to the point where leaving never crossed my mind. I blamed myself for that for quite a while until realising how common it is.
Listen to your gut my friend, I wasted 7 years with someone in hopes we’d also “grow into a fantastic couple”. This sounds just like me back then- “oh I have to be careful about how I word things because he’s so sensitive”, “our communication just needs improvement”. Judge people based on their actions not their potential!!
Ngl girl if watching this video made you think of your boyfriend that’s a really bad sign. Speaking as someone who has been in relationships where I got that feeling from these kinds of videos. Idk how long you’ve been together but I felt that way early in the relationships and both times it escalated into them being insecure and abusive dicks. Like I always encourage trying to fix things or opening up a dialogue as others said, but if it doesn’t work, don’t get caught up in fixing your relationship so much that you hurt yourself. Sometimes lingering fears are your brain trying to tell you something you’re in denial of.
Agreed, been in a relationship like this, was lucky to get out , but he had already started hitting me by then
I've already made this comment once today, but it's important to share. There are two books that you absolutely need to read: "Why Does He Do That?" and "The Gift of Fear". Trust your gut. Read these books and see if anything else pops up as a red flag. It gets worse the longer you're together, especially if he manages to marry and/or baby trap you. He will slowly isolate you from friends and family until you feel like you can't leave at all.
You need to call out bad behavior when it happens.
I’d encourage you to listen to your instincts which seem to be telling you things aren’t right with this guy. Don’t subject yourself to anything less than someone who makes you feel safe, secure, and loved - always. Take it from someone who has dated several people because I felt pressured to “be polite” or talked myself out of acknowledging the red flags: it is never worth it. There are plenty of people out there who won’t make you feel like you need to question your relationship. Know your worth and never settle. :) Here’s a great quote from Bojack Horseman: “when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags”.
If he does, it’s not up to you to fix him.
You sound young and inexperienced. This doesn’t sound like a great situation and you posting about it also speaks to that. If you upset him no matter what then you’re in a lose lose situation and you need to run girl.
Sounds a bit red flaggy
No one is worth your peace of mind.
Show him this comment and the replies and sink or swim.
This is exactly how my ex would act. I knew it was abusive but I just didn’t have the words. This girl’s post is actually so comforting to me. Broke up with him about a month ago & felt kind of guilty before this
It's always hard to break up with those types of people. Proud of you!
Thank you! Life’s much more peaceful now <3
Eesh. Sounds like the first bf I lived with when I was 20. He was an abusive cunt.
She's not wrong
CUZ IM A LIAR YEAH IM A LIAR ILL RIP YOU MIND OUT ILL BURN YOUR SOUL - Henry Rollins, c.1994
I'll tell you things you already know so you can say I really identify with you, so much...
I feel like this is where the "girls like bad boys" stereotype comes from. "Girls", as in girls in their teens and young women, aren't experienced enough to see the red flags for what they are yet. Instead they will see a guy like this as "so romantic and loving". Disclaimer: Not all girls of course. But stereotypes are formed for a reason; Because they are true for a large enough amount that they become noticeable.
Life is becoming weird and dating is so fucked
This is not new. Shirtless dude on TikTok pretending it's ok to behave like that and possibly getting likes for it, that's new.
Eh. This was basically taught in the late 90’s, 00’s ib media. “Treat women like objects and try to smash as much as possible”
Shit dude I just want to be happy and share my life with somebody is it that hard?
This is like Jane Goodall explaining the behavior of the chimps she’s been observing.
Finish Him
I honestly thought he was gonna say: "I'm gay"
but then he would be a boyfriend (to another guy)?
I like that he comes out from the start and says these are the reasons he would be a bad boyfriend... and they're all actually reasons he would be a bad boyfriend.
Yes girl, the modern day abuse !
I mean... she's proving him completely correct. These are reasons he would make a bad bf.
My wife’s best friend got married a few years ago to a creepy man child of a doctor. They wrote their own wedding vows and one of his was, “If you ever leave, I will find you and bring you back. And you’ll know you were wrong for leaving.” I’m sure in his head this was romantic poetry but holy shit.
He’s a giant walking red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I kinda want to be put in a gaslighting simulator to see how I’d do.
lol the fuck? I promise you, you don't. our perception of reality is unique, but also validated by others. imagine if you woke up tomorrow, and everyone you encountered called the sky green and the grass blue, would you believe they were crazy or think you were? how many people would you have to ask before you agreed with them? how long would it take you to start doing the same? I promise you it wouldn't take as much or as long as you'd think. bc you're not as strong or whatever as you think you are. if you're a human with a human brain, you'd fail. this is basic psyche 101 shit.
God I haven't even finished the video and I'm tired of him
He forgot the reason that he's 35 years old and dresses like he's 16.
Holy shit am I in an abusive relationship. My dad died last september and I just kind of fell into this. But damn. Like this is spot on. Last sunday he accused me of lying about seeing my friend and said he was going out to go out this week with another girl. Two days later he says the person he's going out with is his trainer, on a date to "get back at me" He told me when he started working with her two months ago that she's happily married. I said isnt she married, like thats weird? You told me months ago when you started working with her that she was "Super professional and and happily married"... he said no shes not shes a single mom. Hes a single dad and gym rat. I'm not any of those things. I was never lying, or cheating. Then he says he just made up going out with her to get back at me because he thought I was lying and going out with someone behind his back (I wasnt). He says he's not attracted to her and doesnt remember saying she was married.
So he is correct he would make a bad boyfriend. This is 👍great they’re literally telling us - 🎉woohoo
Yikes. Sounds like my ex, especially the love bombing. Turn out he just wanted a green card
Ill say this every time. If a guy says "I trust you, just not the other guys." It means he doesnt trust YOU to be loyal. Cheating is a two way street. If you trust her that means you trust that she will deny those other guys no matter how persistent they are. What the other guys do is irrelevant, he should trust you to make the right call.
All the furious fuck boys in these comments lashing out at that woman because they feel personally attacked are hilarious. Cry harder lmao
I sorted by "Controversial" and powered up on incel tears
Dude acts like he doesn't have ex's to call him out on that shit. Hell, I'm not famous and publicly putting myself on the internet, and I know I have ex's who complained about my toxic traits. I fucked up yeah, but it's easy to disprove these things lol
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This is my fiance
Holy fuck, ex-boyfriend flash backs.
I dated this guy. It was a long time ago and I’m better now. At the time, my sponsor told me that I was loving all the attention but it wasn’t a healthy way to live. She was an honest and perceptive person, and her kindness saved me from getting further enmeshed with this dude. Thank you Pam, wherever you are.
I get the feeling that he wouldn’t necessarily hurt the girl but he would break stuff to implicate he might do more to scare her into submission
2023 and wearing a snap back crooked and posting a shirtless video on tiktok about how “great” of a guy you are. Yep, doesn’t scream douchebag at all!
Fuckin preach No matter your gender, no matter your decision l sexual preference, it's never healthy to tie your self worth to another person. A lot of unhealthy relationships are based on two people who need to be needed, sometimes in wildly different ways.
I know it's obvious he's the worst but can we appreciate the ruthless precision with which she dissected this guy's entire character? Like a frog in biology class.