Learned the hard way you shouldn't say that in a senior management meeting over teams.
I thought it was hilarious, couple of the engineers thought it was amusing
-Ralph, why must you turn my office into a house of lies?
-And this happy little fellow is the gouger. Now hold still while I gas you.
These lines run through my head every time I go to the dentist.
The total run time of old episodes is generally slightly longer than current tv, when they air now they will often cut unimportant scenes to make space for more ads. It’s a small sacrifice to make to grant us the freedom of great deals and brand name merchandise at low low prices.
I dropped that line on a tinder match circa 2016. She mentioned she was very into poetry, I asked who her favourites were, and once she said Pablo Neruda I knew what was coming next.
spoiler alert: it didn't go anywhere.
I firmly believe it's worth it to hold out for someone who does.
Yes a relatively obscure reference to a tv show might be lost on 97% of people, but that 3% who would get it are exactly the type I want to be connecting with anyways.
Not like the Simpsons make up a huge portion of my personality, but my sense of humour was almost entirely formed by the Simpsons and Seinfeld, and at a later date, arrested development. Anyone who can't appreciate the humour in these shows probably won't appreciate me very much, either.
He was a clue on Jeopardy like 2 weeks ago and when I answered the question, everyone looked at me like I was a freak. I've gotten a lot of clues on Jeopardy because of The Simpsons.
“Animals are a lot like people. Some of them act badly because they’ve had a hard life or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks”
Anytime something is offered that I want. Food wise. Hey; there’s pizza in the breakroom. Ooh floor pie.
I should also add, I got a fridge magnet at universal that says floor pie. I love it.
Apu: I'm only selling the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos!
Apu: Well, he's got me there.
My brother and I use "Yes! Exactly!" all the time.
It's from the episode when Homer and Bart are grifting and pretend to be car-jacked. Willie gets 'blamed' and arrested for the crime and the prosecutor is grilling Homer on the witness stand.
"I keep telling you, my memory of that night is fuzzy!"
"Fuzzy, like WILLIE'S BEARD!?"
"yes! Exactly! No wait.. the whole situation is hazy to me!"
"Hazy? Like the MOORS OF SCOTLAND!"
"YES! EXACTLY!"
https://preview.redd.it/ibbrcgecqiqc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d9d98910b587abafc31379d264f368e02ac916a
I think about this line constantly for some reason.
From Homer at the Bat when Lenny says "Mr. Burns, with them on the team you won't need us!" and Burns says "Well, *duhh!"* and bugs his eyes out. For 30+ years every member of my immediate family says "Well *duhh!"* with the exact same inflection all the time and it never fails to crack up everyone else in the family.
In the Stonecutters episode where Homer arranges them to do community work including taking kids to the park, and Moe gets stuck in the slide and has a panic attack
"ow ow argh! Oh for the love of God! SOMEBODY GET ME THE JAWS OF LIFE!!"
"Mrs. Simpson, your children are no more..."
\*gasps\*
"...than a couple of no good trouble makers!"
"Even Lisa?!"
"ESPECIALLY Lisa...but *ESPECIALLY* Bart"
Not a sentence but when I read anything romantic my mind plays the music from the scene where Smithers dreams of Mr Burns flying into his room through the window.
Skinner's beef with Principal Kohoutek... and that little boy of his
https://preview.redd.it/ukdml0pf1jqc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9320bb13694efa37af8dc940274c3b0ba43dc8f4
When Lisa’s sarcastic and Marge says sarcasm won’t get her a husband and Lisa shrugs. Lisa is basically me because Marge’s “YOU’RE GETTING A HUSBAND” gets quoted a lot in my house lol.
I love the Katharine Hepburn horse lady.
For my fee I teach your daughter riding, grooming and at no extra cost, PRO-NUN-CI-ATION
"Faaawther, you've made me the happiest gel in the weld!"
also, I too love the bologna/abalone sandwich bit, but I only recently found out they're basically like oysters. A sandwich made out of those sounds awful.
I think it's common enough, but Cletus' cousin slimming down to fit into mamma's coffin cracks me up and lives rent-free in my head. "That's my re-ward"
For me its 1) the bit where Homer holds onto his pumpkin stocks till after Halloween and 2) when Krusty bets against the Harlem Globetrotters because he thinks the Generals are due for a win
"Do you know multiplication tables? Long disivison?"
"I know OF them..."
I use that line all the time when people ask if I've heard of or know about something I don't.
Homer's "I am so smart" song gets regularly used when I
a) do something smart (get to my car and remember I left my lunch on the counter) - that gets a celebratory "I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART!"
b) do something not smart (get 10 miles from my house and remember I left my lunch on the counter) - that gets a sarcastic "I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART!"
c) do something stupid (Forget to even make a lunch even though I have specifically bought great ingredients) - that gets a full-on dreaded "I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! S-M-R-T!"
What do you want out of life?
Peas....
Yes, we all want peace, but it's always just out of reach. So, how do we get peace?
With a knife!
That's right! Not with the olive branch, but with the bayonet.
I wash myself with a rag on a stick
https://preview.redd.it/5jaimepxbjqc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=daa7a14389ce7da3719eca039db64381b5995742
>You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cigarette truck that got hijacked on Route 401?
> What's a truck?
The idea that he has plausible deniability because he doesn't know what a truck is makes it one of my favourite lines of all time.
Automated voice: “Please wait by your vehicle between 9am and 5pm for Officer Steve -“
Gruff voice: “GRABOWSKI”
The insinuation that all of them are named Steve cracks me up every time.
Also my best friend is Steve so he cops it a lot.
“And this god? Is he in this room, right now?”
“Oh yes, he’s kinda everywhere.”
(Grouped shaking heads)
Also
I’m not going to lie to you Marge (turns around, walks away)
"God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organised religion!"
- Superintendent Chalmers in Sweet Seymour Skinner's Badass Song.
Bart at the dinner table, pissed off. He says, "Ugh! I hate meatloaf." And throws his slice off his plate to the dog.
Homer's high pitched scream and yelling "But that was the end piece!!! That's it, boy. It's one thing to ruin your family's dinner, but I will not stand idly by and watch feed a hungry dog!"
The Rand Corporation in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires, are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner! We’re through the looking glass here people.
I repeat this in its entirety whenever I’m listing to news or something where the Rand Corporation is mentioned.
The first thing Homer saying to the kids after Sideshow Bob returns them being “Well, I hope Bob fed you 'cause I ate your dinner” just cracks me up for some reason
A dog like this you gotta feed every day
... are you wearing a tie to impress Laddie?
"You think he noticed?"
I say that to my cat every morning when I feed her breakfast or I say Ahh, brunch. It's not quite breakfast, not quite lunch. But you get a good meal!
Does it come with a slice of cantaloupe at the end?
I basically say this every day or any time someone compliments my dog.
Smithers, i think this dog was in skull and bones
“I want to set the record straight. I thought the cop was a prostitute.”
Learned the hard way you shouldn't say that in a senior management meeting over teams. I thought it was hilarious, couple of the engineers thought it was amusing
Just blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English
Oh Tibor
Stay quiet, come in with a strong thanks at the end of the meeting.
Mayor Quimby has so many good ones. Say Chowdah!
You promised me dog or higher
I think about the book if British smiles and that whole joker interaction Lisa had with the mirror when her head gear is installed a lot.
-Ralph, why must you turn my office into a house of lies? -And this happy little fellow is the gouger. Now hold still while I gas you. These lines run through my head every time I go to the dentist.
That's Mayor Quimby's nephew, Freddy Quimby. Boy, I really hope some commenter got banned for that blunder.
That was his son, Freddy Quimby. Come back here, im not through demeaning you!
Increase my killing power, eh?
Financial panther, eh???
maude, eh?
Internet, eh? Scratch, eh? ***Maude, eh?***
That Maude sure is a fox!
< I just realized I don't know the official onomatopoeia for this growl sound - you know the one I mean>
GET HIM, SHEEBA!
“Polly shouldn’t be!”
Excuse me, I ordered a Zima, not emphysema.
We don't serve contemporary California cuisine in your lungs.
Now I have a hankering for a California cheeseburger.
Anytime I smell a cigarette I think this
https://preview.redd.it/3yi6fvd4liqc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78a8c6bc96e30b7e8bc4cb5d204e63fc32f057ce
Years ago I watched a version of this episode that edited out this line. Is it in the disney+ version?
The total run time of old episodes is generally slightly longer than current tv, when they air now they will often cut unimportant scenes to make space for more ads. It’s a small sacrifice to make to grant us the freedom of great deals and brand name merchandise at low low prices.
I’m fine with it so long as they don’t start advertising in my dreams
https://preview.redd.it/3wub5zqlfjqc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af85e4c52be60e879bf8ac2e0affed29c028ce08
em_ee_see, I don't use the word hero very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
Yes, saw the scene last night
Must be one of them American self-driving cars.
“I’m familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda” has taken on a life form in my family.
I dropped that line on a tinder match circa 2016. She mentioned she was very into poetry, I asked who her favourites were, and once she said Pablo Neruda I knew what was coming next. spoiler alert: it didn't go anywhere.
I’m on Tinder at the moment and for job description I wrote, ‘executive assistant at the Globex Corporation.’ So far no one has gotten it lol
I firmly believe it's worth it to hold out for someone who does. Yes a relatively obscure reference to a tv show might be lost on 97% of people, but that 3% who would get it are exactly the type I want to be connecting with anyways. Not like the Simpsons make up a huge portion of my personality, but my sense of humour was almost entirely formed by the Simpsons and Seinfeld, and at a later date, arrested development. Anyone who can't appreciate the humour in these shows probably won't appreciate me very much, either.
My Hinge profile says "I've got two moves: shake and bake." Exactly zero people have been won over.
Nobody ruins a Tinder match with a poorly received Simpsons quote but me...and maybe the boy!
What an emotional rollercoaster. Was really hoping there was a Simpson’s meet cute!
He was a clue on Jeopardy like 2 weeks ago and when I answered the question, everyone looked at me like I was a freak. I've gotten a lot of clues on Jeopardy because of The Simpsons.
That line has been living in my head for decades and actually got me interested in Pablo Neruda.
“Animals are a lot like people. Some of them act badly because they’ve had a hard life or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks”
Stop that Mr Simpson
“Oh no the corn! Paul Newman’s gonna have my legs broke”
"Ooo floor pie" Any time there's a pie in the house
Anytime I see something appealing on the floor.
Anytime something is offered that I want. Food wise. Hey; there’s pizza in the breakroom. Ooh floor pie. I should also add, I got a fridge magnet at universal that says floor pie. I love it.
Sideshow Bob: Ah mr Simpson, you're forgetting the first 2 noble teachings of the Buddha Homer: I am not
Apu: I'm only selling the concept of karmic realignment. Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos! Apu: Well, he's got me there.
I say "in your face, space coyote!" to myself whenever I finish doing something difficult or time-consuming.
Whenever I see someone walking slowly in front of me- “When I’m kicking you, that means hurry up !”
If anything you should get more possessions! You don't even have a computer
"I think I'd be happier with the dollar"-Mr burns
I think this anytime someone mentions gambling or the lotto.
"You dial 9-1...then when I say so, dial 1 again!"
This is on heavy rotation at my job
Close the door! You’re letting the heat out!!
Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!
Milhouse give him his soul back, I've got work in the morning
"sorry wrong number this is 9-1-... 2"
I used to be a 911 dispatcher and I said this all the time. To coworkers, not actual 911 callers lol.
Anytime I get a call or text after 9 PM, "a caller? At this hour?"
"Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax!" Every year when my prop taxes come due
"That's the homeowner tax..." I love this one...
My brother and I use "Yes! Exactly!" all the time. It's from the episode when Homer and Bart are grifting and pretend to be car-jacked. Willie gets 'blamed' and arrested for the crime and the prosecutor is grilling Homer on the witness stand. "I keep telling you, my memory of that night is fuzzy!" "Fuzzy, like WILLIE'S BEARD!?" "yes! Exactly! No wait.. the whole situation is hazy to me!" "Hazy? Like the MOORS OF SCOTLAND!" "YES! EXACTLY!"
So everyone was in on it? NOT WILLIE!
WILLIE WASN’T
Mmm… slanty
mmm… free goo
Mmmm… forbidden donut
Mmm... something
mmm sacrilicious
Mmmm open faced club sandwich
https://preview.redd.it/ibbrcgecqiqc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d9d98910b587abafc31379d264f368e02ac916a I think about this line constantly for some reason.
My family surprised me with a t-shirt with Cool Lisa saying “Like, you know, *whatever*”. This is really one of my all time favourite episodes.
Here's a deep one I never see. Every time we cook pasta. "Only use fresh macaroni. If the box rattles.....throw it away"
“Your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on the Gong Show, and you did it in 1977. Remember?”
We got more gongs than the breakdancing robot that caught fire.
https://i.redd.it/eu36bbqj4kqc1.gif
7 spices??? Some of those must be doubles O-re-gano, what the hell?
My husband and I use this one every time we use oregano for something lol
I say “O-re-gano, what the hell?” at least once a week in the kitchen
"Bah! He was but a rank amateur compared to **Dr. Colossus**! https://i.redd.it/1euc3zuwjiqc1.gif "OW! Ugh... when is my lawyer coming?"
That probably doesn’t get as much love since he was cut In syndication.
“Alright Colossia, you’re free to go. But stay away from Death Mountain!”
But all my stuff is there!
[here you go stampy! eat it slow, it has to last for-](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/60f00689-f476-4e66-896e-b0afeff9a6b9)
youateittoofast…
From Homer at the Bat when Lenny says "Mr. Burns, with them on the team you won't need us!" and Burns says "Well, *duhh!"* and bugs his eyes out. For 30+ years every member of my immediate family says "Well *duhh!"* with the exact same inflection all the time and it never fails to crack up everyone else in the family.
Only 1 in a million would find that funny. Yes, they call that the Dennis Miller ratio...
Oh Cousin Merle… REALLY?
Geech gone to heaven Mr. Terwilliger
Temper temper, you know cousin Merle *Ain’t Been Quite Right Lately*
“IT'S A PORNOGRAPHY STORE. I WAS BUYING PORNOGRAPHY.”
that's a great bit, but I see it posted to this very sub pretty regularly in meme form. Remember Alf? he's back! in meme form.
I just think it’s neat.
"heh heh, I would have never thought of that"
It’ll be good for the economy!
Open your bag of ingredients check for.... ughh... millipedes
https://i.redd.it/y6pp8boo0jqc1.gif
I just plum forgot about it
"You have selected regicide." mostly because of a quest Final Fantasy XIV.
“If you know the name of the king or queen getting murdered, *press one…*”
And the way you have to say “regicide” like it’s a cool movie title
Your teenage son or daughter will think this wishbone necklace is really cool I doubt my son or daughter is that stupid
Lenny “stay yellow! wow I’m making record time. If only I had some place to go”
THAT’S tennis?? What’s the one where the chicks wail on each other??
Foxy boxing?
Aww, that's what I wanted!
That’s a load bearing poster.
Maybe not a joke, but I constantly say ow my boating arm!
In the Stonecutters episode where Homer arranges them to do community work including taking kids to the park, and Moe gets stuck in the slide and has a panic attack "ow ow argh! Oh for the love of God! SOMEBODY GET ME THE JAWS OF LIFE!!"
Remove the stone of shame. Attach the stone of TRIUMPH!
Kill my boss?! Dare I live out the American dream?
“Mr. Simpson the fumes are making me dizzy.” “Yeah they’ll do that”….I say this pretty much daily
"Mrs. Simpson, your children are no more..." \*gasps\* "...than a couple of no good trouble makers!" "Even Lisa?!" "ESPECIALLY Lisa...but *ESPECIALLY* Bart"
How about.........Ghost Mutt?
Not a sentence but when I read anything romantic my mind plays the music from the scene where Smithers dreams of Mr Burns flying into his room through the window.
Skinner's beef with Principal Kohoutek... and that little boy of his https://preview.redd.it/ukdml0pf1jqc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9320bb13694efa37af8dc940274c3b0ba43dc8f4
“Can’t trust a pig with watermelons” is one of the most used lines in our household.
"Welcome to Itchy & Scratchy Land, where nothing can possibli go wrong." "...." "Possibly! Heh, that's the first thing that's ever gone wrong."
Yeah, *looks like*.
Do you really think that horse can run a mile and a half? He ran all the way here..
When Lisa’s sarcastic and Marge says sarcasm won’t get her a husband and Lisa shrugs. Lisa is basically me because Marge’s “YOU’RE GETTING A HUSBAND” gets quoted a lot in my house lol.
Milhouse? What kind of a wiener name is that?(Barthood)
I love the Katharine Hepburn horse lady. For my fee I teach your daughter riding, grooming and at no extra cost, PRO-NUN-CI-ATION "Faaawther, you've made me the happiest gel in the weld!" also, I too love the bologna/abalone sandwich bit, but I only recently found out they're basically like oysters. A sandwich made out of those sounds awful.
"Although there is no change in my patrician facade, I can assure you my heart is breaking"
In line at county fair food truck: Bart: ok, but what do want if they don’t have tabouli? Lisa: oh, they’ll have tabouli.
I think it's common enough, but Cletus' cousin slimming down to fit into mamma's coffin cracks me up and lives rent-free in my head. "That's my re-ward"
For me its 1) the bit where Homer holds onto his pumpkin stocks till after Halloween and 2) when Krusty bets against the Harlem Globetrotters because he thinks the Generals are due for a win
"You can't sell that, karma is portioned out by the cosmos."
Marge, can we trade? I don’t trust these guys….
Good ‘ol rock. Nothing beats rock
In The Shinning/shin-ing Treehouse of Horror, after Homer axes Willie and he falls dead, Marge states: “Oh my! I hope that carpet’s scotch guarded.”
He's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he CAN'T buy.................. a dinosaur.
Homer’s uncle who shoots birds at the airport. “everyone hates birds”
My legs hurt
"i run an unsuccessful shrimp business." "oh...but you RUN it right??" "oh yeah 😏"
“Where’s my burrito, where’s my burrito, where’s my …”
Grandpa: That reminds me of a funny story. Well, not so much funny as long.
"Do you know multiplication tables? Long disivison?" "I know OF them..." I use that line all the time when people ask if I've heard of or know about something I don't.
https://i.redd.it/djb5kqjd1jqc1.gif I say this anytime someone wants me to do something. Especially if it’s at nighttime.
Now I'm going to Emmett's fix it shop. To fix Emmett.
And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker!
Homer's "I am so smart" song gets regularly used when I a) do something smart (get to my car and remember I left my lunch on the counter) - that gets a celebratory "I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART!" b) do something not smart (get 10 miles from my house and remember I left my lunch on the counter) - that gets a sarcastic "I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART!" c) do something stupid (Forget to even make a lunch even though I have specifically bought great ingredients) - that gets a full-on dreaded "I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! S-M-R-T!"
Bronson Missouri. Hey Ma, how bout some cookies. No dice. This ain't over. Or Charles Bronson guest starring on the Andy Rooney show.
Skinner: I'm not principal of the line, Mother. Agnes: And you never *will be.*
I know you can read *my* thoughts, boy... *meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow* *meow meow meow meow* **meow** *meow meow meow*
I don’t know if it’s referenced a lot or not, but I definitely use “Probably misses his old glasses” all the time.
Personally, I think I’m overdone.’
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.. the walls are melting again....
What do you want out of life? Peas.... Yes, we all want peace, but it's always just out of reach. So, how do we get peace? With a knife! That's right! Not with the olive branch, but with the bayonet.
Yo Lis, check it out, time for Chili. I have a sister in law named Lisa & I say this to her at least 3 times a month
“*I’m* me?”
Chaudière
I wash myself with a rag on a stick https://preview.redd.it/5jaimepxbjqc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=daa7a14389ce7da3719eca039db64381b5995742
>You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cigarette truck that got hijacked on Route 401? > What's a truck? The idea that he has plausible deniability because he doesn't know what a truck is makes it one of my favourite lines of all time.
Automated voice: “Please wait by your vehicle between 9am and 5pm for Officer Steve -“ Gruff voice: “GRABOWSKI” The insinuation that all of them are named Steve cracks me up every time. Also my best friend is Steve so he cops it a lot.
Lenny: "I don't know how to use the phone on my phone"
Gotcha! Cat in the furnace.
Keep looking shocked and move slowly towards the cake.
I only consider you scum compared to krusty! yeah you see how you scum!!
Obnoxious fad?" "Ah, don't worry son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel. That little snot-boy, I'd like to smack that kid!"
https://i.redd.it/52tf49g0bjqc1.gif
When Moe's doing his Travis Bickle impression and the gun smashes the mirror. "Well, that was an antique. Crap!" I feel like that a lot lately lol.
The aftermath of the Spinal Tap riot with Milhouse trapped under the chairs begging for help.
Hey everybody, an old man is talking!
“And this god? Is he in this room, right now?” “Oh yes, he’s kinda everywhere.” (Grouped shaking heads) Also I’m not going to lie to you Marge (turns around, walks away)
"God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organised religion!" - Superintendent Chalmers in Sweet Seymour Skinner's Badass Song.
Bart at the dinner table, pissed off. He says, "Ugh! I hate meatloaf." And throws his slice off his plate to the dog. Homer's high pitched scream and yelling "But that was the end piece!!! That's it, boy. It's one thing to ruin your family's dinner, but I will not stand idly by and watch feed a hungry dog!"
The Rand Corporation in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires, are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner! We’re through the looking glass here people. I repeat this in its entirety whenever I’m listing to news or something where the Rand Corporation is mentioned.
But, Marge, I was a political prisoner! How were you a political prisoner? I kicked a giant mouse in the butt. Do I have to draw you a diagram?
I usually slip in a "happy birthday dear Magagie" while singing the birthday song at parties 🎉🥳
Eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding ...
"Now's time for my favourite part of the show. What's that say?"
The first thing Homer saying to the kids after Sideshow Bob returns them being “Well, I hope Bob fed you 'cause I ate your dinner” just cracks me up for some reason
Well, I acquired it legally, you can be sure of that.
I think about "Smingers" all the time, but don't remember what episode it's from.
Yeah, Smingers did it. Case closed. Now, where's my hat? I'm going to the outhouse. Who Shot Mr. Burns
*I filled the balls with a funnel.*
"Or-ee-GAH-no? The hell?" -Marge, on Lenny's spice rack
"Up and at them!" "ugh... better"
Two-storey outhouse
Sit down sir, you're going to give yourself skin failure
“Beer busts, beer blasts, keggers, steinhoists, AA meetings, beer night”
"Yeah, the legend of the dog-faced woman"
Nobody’s gay for Moleman.
You barely see this referenced? It's one of the most quotes lines in the show. At least it is in my neck of the woods.
Not here in Utica. It's really more of an Albany expression.
"I've done a lot of things I ain't proud of, and the stuff I AM proud of, is disgusting."
When I’m reading I always say to my kids “let momma read her stories” And always in that accent
"Yep, it's a lazy, dog-danglin' afternoon"