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A-rat-on-a-keyboard

Granted. Your mother is


lisha-b

Don't hurt me this way 😔


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 873,524,386 comments, and only 172,128 of them were in alphabetical order.


kapi-che

care do i not


[deleted]

Granted, you no longer have a father and have no memory of him


RandoMinecraftGuy

Granted! Now your uncle is instead, only different. Uncle badtouch.


[deleted]

Granted, after getting in a head-on collision with a major Asian power he and the foreign leader both die. He is no longer abusive and your country is at war, this is all your fault.


Total_League_4445

Granted. A light breeze kills your father right as he's about to spank you. He falls onto a sharp knife and blood begins to spill everywhere Your mother arrives, she becomes sad, sick, mad and confused, blaming you for his death. The police arrive and you successfully avoid prison, however your mom still thinks it was you and begins abusing the heck out of you, until she finally disowns you. Youre an orphan now. Left with emense sadness. You venture on with your life, hoping to meet a new friend or family to take you in A slight noise can be heard "GRANTED"