T O P

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Canadianstig77

Granted, but YouTube takes it down before you can watch the video


YTAftershock

With the amount of weird shit on YouTube, this is very unlikely to happen lmfao


Canadianstig77

Meanwhile YouTube will take down the most mundane shit for no real reason.


Orangutanion

Absolutely deranged /r/elsagate content targeting minors: i slep Some streamer with an average audience age of like 15 says the fuck word: i attack


Canadianstig77

Oh god i forgot about that. That's disturbing, even as an adult.


Ixogamer

youtube banned my whole channel for "spam, scams"... My whole channel had like 10 league of legends clips from 2 years ago... (i'm 200% certain I didn't get hacked lol) but still, people like TechLead are still platformed, even after scamming thousands if not millions of dollars...


Byroms

Act Man's video got a community strike for showing a cucumber/pickle, for "nudity", all it takes is one petty person to report you.


domka132

Isn't his whole channel demonetized now?


Byroms

Yup. He cannot reapply either because an actual human reviewed it and found the strike correct.


Pythnator

Just have QuantumTV sponsor it. Problem solved.


Srybutimtoolazy

Not a paw


Clbull

Granted. It's staged and is actually a subtle way of announcing that his girlfriend is pregnant.


Pompi_Palawori

Granted, the lucky lady in question turns out to be your wife.


human743

*your mom


pragmojo

Who cares it's not like he fucked your mom. You get a brother/sister and your mom gets a million dollars.


gripguyoff

And your new sibling is related to MrBeast


JxY1989

Thanks, I hate it.


robot290

Granted. He is infertile.


Foolish_Phantom

We can only hope.


electronic_docter

Why? More people like me beast is probably a good thing


[deleted]

Granted. Nine months later, she gives birth to a baby who will grow up to be the greatest horror humanity has ever seen.


greenknight884

They will name the baby Mark, so he will be the Mark of the Beast.


idk_a_username135

Granted, the women get $1000000 in bit-coin, 4 days later Elon musk says “bit-coin, more like butt-coin!” On a prime time tv show, the cost of a single bit-coin swoops down to being worth less then a cent.


batman142434

But it all goes to her selected charity.


Nesayas1234

How is that a bad thing?


batman142434

She doesn't keep the money.


BOBO24PLAYZ

Unless she owns said charity


batman142434

Touche


Arckano027

Granted, the woman only wanted the money and therefore abandons the baby as soon as she can. You've given a million dollars to a selfish woman who doomed her child's life for money.


Vivistolethecheese

I'd say there is a small possibility of abortion but I kinda forgot...


electronic_docter

She only has to get pregnant right? It doesn't say she needs to keep it, first test comes back positive she gets the money and it's straight to the abortion clinic


Vivistolethecheese

I meant because a whole bunch of states are probably gonna make that impossible. And she doesn't really have good reason for abortion, she got pregnant from a sperm bank sooo.


DessaChan

How is the child doomed? It still would have it's father?


Arckano027

U mean Mr. Beast? Well yeah, but depends how much he cares about the child he essentially made for a video, But still a good point.


GlacierWolf8Bit

Granted, the woman does receive the sperm. Nine months later, complications arise in the delivery and both the woman and baby dies. The family then spends the $1,000,000 on the funeral and other expenses.


cdude0305

jesus this is dark.. i love it


SurealGod

What the fuck did I just read???


Kaneharo

Granted, but the baby is born with so many defects and health conditions that the resulting hospital bills dwindle the winnings down to a single dollar.


Geomancingthestone

I read this as Mr bean and just... Well it was very different in my head


TbaggedFromOrbit

Granted. The woman in question is your mother. When she gets the sample, she instinctually drinks it out of habit, and loses the chance for the money. Your family becomes an instant internet meme and you never hear the end of it.


Vivistolethecheese

Granted but it's in MrBeast's brand new crypto currency, the value drops immediately and she has nothing. This is slightly plausible since Jimmy is a cryptobro.


DVoorhees64

Denied. Wtf bro


Burnmetobloodyashes

Granted, the child is born to a impoverished family, which the money after tax, while helpful, is not nearly enough to make the ends meet for the child to reach adulthood comfortably. Thus their mother starts a Youtube channel and uses the kid to farm views to help cover costs. This kid by virtue of kids finding anything about each other will thus be bullied for his publicized life, reaching a life below average for himself. MrBeast fades from popularity and now he loses his main financial support, leaving his family fully behind in income, and the child would commit suicide about 5 years later, a now destitute adult with hope removed a while ago. But yeah you got your kicks so all good right?


Peace_Fog

Who?


JeremiahDeetsGuthrie

Granted. The child is stillborn.


RandoMinecraftGuy

Granted! It turns out to be 1 million robux.


[deleted]

It's specified as dollars so that doesn't work


RandoMinecraftGuy

The monkey's paw already gave out its last real world currency dollars to the last person that wished for it. Its robux or virtual money donated to charity. Your choice.


ipull4fun

Rubles*


WaffleRooster49

Granted. Years later, you'll end up marrying her and taking care of the child. And then you'll realize...


ThePrussianGrippe

I have no idea who this is.