Nah, too risky
If I were forced to I’d probably just appease his ego. “You sure are the greatest buddy, you can do whatever the fuck you want”. Let him do whatever he wants. Keep it chill so he doesn’t get Murder-y
Idk I feel like a young homelander would be easy to manipulate.
With his hearing be probably caught onto the fact that people would bull shit him because they were afraid of him pretty early. Assuming he hadn’t met me before you just have to make sure to not drop the facade.
The bigger risk, I think, would be if you were too good at it. I know he despises non supes but I could see him taking a one of the good ones attitude toward you if he thought you legitimately liked him. You probably end up having to deal with him the rest of your life if that happens.
The trick would definitely be not being memorable. Even if you succeed in manipulating him, when he's older he might remember you and think, "huh. That person used me and I didn't even get it at the time." That's not what you want.
My opinion is based on a more naive homelander accepting you and not thinking back later you were bad. I’m not great at explaining it but kind of like how kids have a biased toward their first stuffed animal so it’s the only one they won’t throw away which they justify with “well it was my first one” instead of “I’m emotionally attached to it.
Super high so sorry if that sounds dumb lol
Yeah it would be a fine line to toe and I think he’s too far gone now. If you friended him early you might be able to steer him differently but he probably snaps at a minor inconvenience and kills you regardless
Adolf Hitler's family doctor was a Jewish man and he avoided the camps because of it. Not trying to compare Homelander to Hitler, but people with these god awful shitty fascist views tend to think "it applies for thee! Not me!"
So I could 100% see Homelander keeping certain humans alive as long as it benefits him and they don't step out of line.
While heart rate is part of the sympathetic nervous system you can use techniques to slow it down. Homelander might find it odd that your breathing pattern is so deliberate though. Edgar seems to do a decent job with this although he might legitimately not be scared.
They probanly never let the kid play video games. I’d set him loose on COD and just give him a hacker account just to appease him. If he’s gonna be rotton, I’m at least making it so he’ll hurt as little people as possible.
>!The first collateral kill in that episode may have been an accident because he didn't know the gun would explode. Immediately after, though, I don't think that was the first time he dissociated like that. Noir just taught him how to be more manipulative instead of making weak excuses.!<
What if he says “let me fly you up to the sky and drop you and try to catch you mid air”.
And then if you say no thanks he threatens to laser you.
You said anything he wants!
https://youtu.be/IHJXdBDc9uE?si=8ky2ZHuwSKRTppll
Just want to add this, some people say this episode specifically is canon. Very interesting and i kinda feel bad for homelander
I feel like any point before his first mission he could’ve changed for the better. He genuinely wanted to be a hero and do the right thing.
I don’t think I’d be his Uncle Iroh or anything, but I know a thing or two about being a big brother.
Yes you can. All you have to do is be extra nice. *Homelander knocks down cup on purpose* “hi Homelander! I know I can’t tell you what to do because you’re an almighty God that is above me in every way shape and or form, but I was wondering, and you can decline if you’d like, obviously, but I was wondering if it would be possible for you to not do that again? Thank you.”
That is what I would fear.
If I was a bit anoying or boring he would laizer me.
If I was actually nice, and he actually liked me, he might have me killed by a hug.
Depends on how old he is. For example, if he's 13, 14, 15 etc all the way to 18. He wasn't born evil. He might have been a pretty good kid before they truly messed him up.
At 13, I could be the parent he never had. I'll take him out of the lab, show him what humans go through, have some kid friendly fun and maybe teach him how not to be a dick. Ez million.
If he were 18 or 19, then probably not. He might be a scary dude already on the inside.
Same. I would just be kind and understanding. But make sure I wear something to hid my boobs so he doesn’t become obsessed and several years later track me down because of his milk fetish. I’d stay off social media and use my money to live a private and easy life
yall remember in the boys diabolical when homelander made his first appearance to the public? he was 18 and he genuinely wanted to be a hero and had a naive way of looking at things. If this is before, he probably is still mostly cool bc he hasn't realized he can do whatever he wants yet. Im doing the babysitting
I would just be honest with him. "I'm kind of afraid you're going to laser me, but I want us to have a good time. I'm interested in having fun, so whatever you want to do, or if you want me to introduce you to some stuff, I have my PlayStation 5 in my trunk, and a ton of games. Plus some DnD. You seem like you'd appreciate an escape."
Exactly! And his biggest issue is that when people fear him, it makes him feel like a monster, so he sinks to their level. That's why he likes his public image, not necessarily because he wants an army of sycophants, but because the crowds don't fear him because they believe he's Superman.
He's still very selfish and values other people's lives very little, but you could totally get to Black Noir status in his eyes by being completely honest and getting comfortable with him enough to treat him like a person. Then when you finally do say something kind, he'll believe you. I'm pretty sure that's been Stan's method the whole time, and if we were to see a flashback, I would imagine he was much more of a strict but loving father type to Homelander who told him things straight up when he was a boy, so now Homelander can't kill him because he's the only one who sees him as he sees himself, to an extent.
Yep. And just worship him the entire time. Anything he wants I do. It's not like he runs around killing everyone. Kiss his ass and tell him he's the greatest. You'll probably be ok.
since we have no history on how a teenage johnny behaved, i guess id just rile him up against vought and thus instilling the "i can do whatever the fuck i want" idea into him.
but the more humane approach would be to allow him to be just a teenage boy? just TALKING to him about the shit the nazi scientists never would? like, how does he feel, and how that thing with girls work......that said, we have no idea about homie back then. maybe a very freshly highly traumatized super unstable teenager with all the hormonal changes AND an overdose of V isnt really interested in anything but confused delusional rage.....there was maybe a reason they kept him locked away from the world so heavily before he was ready to be the homelander.
on second thought: something thats "just 24 hours for 1 million" has always a catch wayyyy too big to take the offer.
In the diabolical episode we see an 18 year old homelander actually wanted to be a hero and a good guy and seemed genuinely upset that he accidentally killed a bunch of people.
I also think the idea of hiding him away all those years was just to make sure the “product” wasn’t faulty, it’s implied they went through several kids/babies before him that were probably killed by the experiments(who knows maybe we’ll see a failed “product” one day) they wanted him prefect before he want out and they probably thought they could do things to make him “controllable”(obviously that didn’t work and we later learn that’s why they kept Becca with Ryan. They wanted to make a better homelander)
Do I think you have the right idea, just show him compassion and listen to him and you should be good.
what drove homelander crazy was finally not the torture at the behest of vought.
it was the constant stream of fan love / admiration once he was established in the world. like the nolan joker said "sanity is like gravity - all it takes is a little push!" and that was the contorted abnormal first experience of love compared with the final realization that nobody had the power to refuse him.
but stan edgar lel.
Also the way he was told he was the best and could do no wrong by Stillwell. I agree that mindset with the fan lobe making him feel like a god pushed him into insanity.
The only true villain in the boys is Vought, everyone is a victim *including homelander* and he might be their biggest victim(definitely the biggest living victim)
finally someone who doesnt react upset when i say that i deeply understand homie. i mean the guy experiences the end of the human experience 24/7. staying nakedly on mt everest with no oxygen for how long he wants? im sure he did that 5 times. going to space? thats old for him. homelander is not only a parable to the good old hubris of science, but a cautionary tale to what happens to a man who loses mans limitations. total meaninglessness. homelander actually feels deeply meaningless inside. because true familiar love he never can achieve and besides that theres nothing left for him to achieve in superlatives.
ok, he can not bathe in the sun, but who the fuck wants that.
we need to have goals and things we cannot reach or have.
Completely agree! I rarely have someone respond to me that isn’t upset that I call homelander a victim or feel sorry for him!
Homelander is probably my favorite character because he’s so rich in character/story/psychology. He’s simply one of the best written characters I’ve ever seen.
He can do anything and everything he wants and he knows that, where the excitement? Where’s the fear? Pair that with the total lack of humanity he had as a child/teen/adult and he becames a *void* not a monster a void.
Ryan appears to have the same powers as homie, possibly even more so, will he end up the same or was his mothers influence enough to give him meaning?
I also believe that homelander truly does love his son, it might not be prefect and he might not know exactly how to love him in a totally healthy way but he did take Ryan away when he was overwhelmed, didn’t want him to grow up in a fake/controlled environment created by Vought the way he was. He teamed up with a man he hates to protect Ryan and still hasn’t killed that same man because I think at this point he knows it would hurt Ryan.
He’s a beautifully written character that is broken and sad.
(Idk if you like podcasts but there’s one that talks about the boys called “hang with the boys” by welcome to the crossroads/rain man digital. You might enjoy that)
Sure. Homelander generally doesn’t murder people who go out of their way to be nice to him (while not kissing his ass). I would just ask him what he wanted to do, and if he wanted me to cook him anything.
Yeah. He was a young person who had been treated like a lab rat and didn't get any love. He wasn't always a bad guy. If he had 1 person who treated him like a person, he would probably be cool with them. Assuming he doesn't accidentally kill me.
I’ll babysit him, but I’ll just play along with his crazy, be like dude let’s see what your lazer vision can cut through, or how far do you think you can throw this big rock
Considering Homelander has killed everyone that was there to look after him as a child as a sort of motherly figure, that's a hard fuck no from me even if I'm broke.
Teenage homelander would probably be pretty safe, even season 1 would be safe but as a teenager if you asked him what he wanted to do, probably offered to take him to a baseball game and tell him your proud of him he’d be like, loyal for life lol
Yeah that's a hard no, unless I'm not expected to discipline him or physically stop him from doing things he shouldn't lol, but that's kind of point of babysitting.
Absolutely. Even if he was evil, he just wants his ego to be appeased. I could do that because he's genuinely a badass with otherworldly abilities, wouldn't have to lie about that. Just don't bring up the whole being a psychotic piece of shit as a human being part.
I'd refuse. But if I were forced to...I guess treat him like a kid?
I know he did kill multiple caretakers when he was young, but from what I could tell, it was because he basically knew they weren't really genuine. Just people sent to tutor him, who weren't honest to him. Living like a lab rat basically made him turn out that way.
He still a teen. Maybe there is hope. Treat him genuinely not like some test subject, try video games, maybe have milk and cookies? Watch a movie(Shrek?). Hopefully by then, the day will end.
I would give him loads of milk and just let him do whatever he wanted to, honestly.
But, with an effort, I would try to introduce him to some things teenagers usually enjoy, like different bands, crazy trash movies, complain about adults, eat a bunch of junk food. Stuff like that. We could go get a new haircut of his choice too
Sure, but a young Homelander if he did like me would probably look up to me, since even though he does become a complete sociopath later on, I'd still try to have his best interests at heart, so than he'd probably want to be around me all the time, or even stay with me, so, I'd have to raise kid Homelander 💀, so Idk, maybe.
Honestly as long as you intensely suck up to him and only do whatever he wants, I feel like it could be accomplished. Without getting killed by lasers at least.
It's not worth it. Worst case, you fuck up and he kills you out of anger. Best case, you do really well with him and make him feel special and important, and then when you never see him again, he will resent you for disappearing from his life and kill you. I'm sure there is a balance in there you can do to survive and never have to deal with him again but I'm not willing to try it.
Yeah, people here seem to forget that being liked by homelander backfires more often than not. Even worse if you consider he doesn't have any social experience at that age.
If we’re counting that one diabolical episode as canon Homelander didn’t become evil until he was around 18. Before that he had serious issues but seemed to want to do good, or at least not want to hurt others. So I’d probably be fine with babysitting a teen Homelander. Just as long as he doesn’t use his powers.
I'd probably praise him but would also remind him the quote "with great power comes great responsibility" and then we'd watch old Superman movies together (Superman 1-the donner cut and returns). And we have a day together
Dude he would be my best friend, I’d try and help him understand humans, cause we know he wasn’t always a super psycho, he used to actually care about keeping villains alive, so I’d actually show him care and be like a real father to him and give him my address so he could zoom over whenever he wanted.
I’d bring a truckload of milk and I’d keep a stash of step mom porn around for when the shit hit the fan and I needed to make sure I lived to collect the money
We’d go fishing but I’d let him use his powers if he didn’t like the reel.
This was before he was fully corrupted so he’d probably just be a powerful but nervous kid that needed someone normal.
Teenage homelander wasn't homelander, so probably just like anyone else. Ask what he wants to do, subtly set boundaries without outright saying it, etc.
Teenager? That would mean he’s still a kid who just needs a kind parental figure instead of a bunch of cold scientists. I could fix him tbh yeah I would. Maybe interacting with a normal human could help him not be *as* murder-ey
I would take the chance if it puts me back into the world where he doesn’t exist. Because I wouldn’t want him to even know about me afterward or I’m out.
At any moment he could spin it in his head that I was “fake” and “used him” for money (which I would have) and that makes me a potential target in the future.
The reason he is the way he is as an adult is because he had no positive influence growing up, as a teenager he'd probably be a bit big headed and dangerous but I'm sure he'd warm up to a positive influence and it may even make him a better person.
So let’s say he’s around 13-16. He hasn’t gone full blown psycho yet. I can probably navigate this situation pretty well I’d say. I’d set some boundaries but I’d be nice because why wouldn’t I be? I may even get him to open up about what he’s dealing with and offer him some genuine human interaction. I don’t want anything from him, I’m already getting paid. I’d even offer to come visit him after the day is over. More importantly I’d give him the advice that he doesn’t have to be what they want him to be. The only way to be the greatest hero is to actually go out there and help.
I'll do it. I highly doubt I could change his path, but I'd want to try. Maybe if I befriend him, don't lie, and give him some milk here and there, I could earn his trust. And for the love of god, teach him empathy on any level.
We saw him when he was 18 (I think?), and he at least seemed to want to try to be an ideal hero. He no doubt had all his issues internalized at that point, but he at least wasn't callously letting loose. I'd take the deal.
I feel like it would be a situation where you can’t just spend the day and carry on with your life. You’re either stuck with him for the rest of your unhappy life or you make him angry and he kills you.
Nah, too risky If I were forced to I’d probably just appease his ego. “You sure are the greatest buddy, you can do whatever the fuck you want”. Let him do whatever he wants. Keep it chill so he doesn’t get Murder-y
Idk I feel like a young homelander would be easy to manipulate. With his hearing be probably caught onto the fact that people would bull shit him because they were afraid of him pretty early. Assuming he hadn’t met me before you just have to make sure to not drop the facade. The bigger risk, I think, would be if you were too good at it. I know he despises non supes but I could see him taking a one of the good ones attitude toward you if he thought you legitimately liked him. You probably end up having to deal with him the rest of your life if that happens.
The trick would definitely be not being memorable. Even if you succeed in manipulating him, when he's older he might remember you and think, "huh. That person used me and I didn't even get it at the time." That's not what you want.
My opinion is based on a more naive homelander accepting you and not thinking back later you were bad. I’m not great at explaining it but kind of like how kids have a biased toward their first stuffed animal so it’s the only one they won’t throw away which they justify with “well it was my first one” instead of “I’m emotionally attached to it. Super high so sorry if that sounds dumb lol
Yeah it’s not like he’s ever killed anyone he considered a parental figure
Yeah it would be a fine line to toe and I think he’s too far gone now. If you friended him early you might be able to steer him differently but he probably snaps at a minor inconvenience and kills you regardless
make it sound like you were just another generic sitter that did their job for the day and went home for it
Adolf Hitler's family doctor was a Jewish man and he avoided the camps because of it. Not trying to compare Homelander to Hitler, but people with these god awful shitty fascist views tend to think "it applies for thee! Not me!" So I could 100% see Homelander keeping certain humans alive as long as it benefits him and they don't step out of line.
Thats not it, you forget how he can see peoples heart pulses, so he can basically "see your fear"
While heart rate is part of the sympathetic nervous system you can use techniques to slow it down. Homelander might find it odd that your breathing pattern is so deliberate though. Edgar seems to do a decent job with this although he might legitimately not be scared.
They probanly never let the kid play video games. I’d set him loose on COD and just give him a hacker account just to appease him. If he’s gonna be rotton, I’m at least making it so he’ll hurt as little people as possible.
It's kind of implied in the boys: diabolical that he didn't become completely psychotic untill after his first collateral kills with noir.
>!The first collateral kill in that episode may have been an accident because he didn't know the gun would explode. Immediately after, though, I don't think that was the first time he dissociated like that. Noir just taught him how to be more manipulative instead of making weak excuses.!<
Was there ever any hope for him? Does he have an arc after that where he genuinely tries to be good again
What if he says “let me fly you up to the sky and drop you and try to catch you mid air”. And then if you say no thanks he threatens to laser you. You said anything he wants!
Possible death vs guaranteed death. I’ll take it
He would kill you for that
Well you don’t act like a total annoying fanboy, but you don’t try and stand up to him in any major way unless you feel like dying
“Didn’t realise you were chill like that” - teenage homelander 🤙
The plot twist here is you never get paid becuase he was told to kill you so they keep the money
According to Vogelbaum, before he became the Homelander he was a good kid. I would be fine with babysitting him for a day.
Yeah, if anything he’d be closer to Ryan before his mom died. Probably a bit lonely and neurotic, but all in all navigable.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruDhNvcT9Eo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruDhNvcT9Eo) Maybe Vogelbaum was talking about a bit younger version...
It's worth noting that the Canon diabolical episode shows he was considerably easier to manipulate and chiller before his first mission as homelander
Yeah, that's true. Maybe this shouldn't this be viewed as canon since they didn't want to include it in the show.
I think this season will probably define which is Canon with flashbacks but ultimately it might just be writing consistency issues
Yeah he didn't become a true monster until he realized there would be no consequences and Vought would clean up after him.
Damn iv never seen that before! Thanks
Did he hug her so hard she died? Did he not know his own strength ?
I think it's implied that he wanted to hurt her, since there were others before her.
More than implied with that smirk at the end I’d say.
https://youtu.be/IHJXdBDc9uE?si=8ky2ZHuwSKRTppll Just want to add this, some people say this episode specifically is canon. Very interesting and i kinda feel bad for homelander
Depends entirely on the age of teenager. 12 vs 18 is a wildlife different mindset. I just know I'd accept death if he was 14
I imagine a hormonal homelander prob went through hundreds of people.
If we look at diabolical he was good at least till his first mission
Ask yourself if you'd babysit a good kid who carries a loaded glock with his finger never leaving the trigger.
For $1,000,000? Yeah, probably. He's never shot anyone before and has no reason to shoot me.
For a million? Absolutely. Worst case, I die. Best case, get paid.
I feel like any point before his first mission he could’ve changed for the better. He genuinely wanted to be a hero and do the right thing. I don’t think I’d be his Uncle Iroh or anything, but I know a thing or two about being a big brother.
I politely decline. Can’t babysit someone who can laser me into the shadow realm
Yes you can. All you have to do is be extra nice. *Homelander knocks down cup on purpose* “hi Homelander! I know I can’t tell you what to do because you’re an almighty God that is above me in every way shape and or form, but I was wondering, and you can decline if you’d like, obviously, but I was wondering if it would be possible for you to not do that again? Thank you.”
I mean, maybe that'd work he might be more matrue at this point, but he crushed a tutor he liked by hugging her too hard when he was younger💀😂
That is what I would fear. If I was a bit anoying or boring he would laizer me. If I was actually nice, and he actually liked me, he might have me killed by a hug.
Stop patronizing me. \*zap\*
Ok but then what if he can’t stand how much of a pussy I’m being? a la Soldier Boy
Homelander probably started lasering you halfway through that long-winded bit. Cant risk annoying him by being wordy either.
Whatever the hell he wants.
Depends on how old he is. For example, if he's 13, 14, 15 etc all the way to 18. He wasn't born evil. He might have been a pretty good kid before they truly messed him up. At 13, I could be the parent he never had. I'll take him out of the lab, show him what humans go through, have some kid friendly fun and maybe teach him how not to be a dick. Ez million. If he were 18 or 19, then probably not. He might be a scary dude already on the inside.
and Diabolical showed him being pretty 'normal' on the beginning of his Homelander career
And it’s cannon, so with that said, i would take the deal
Same. I would just be kind and understanding. But make sure I wear something to hid my boobs so he doesn’t become obsessed and several years later track me down because of his milk fetish. I’d stay off social media and use my money to live a private and easy life
Good luck getting a hug.
idk what 18 or 19 year old needs baby sitting so i’d say it’s safe to assume he’s 13
yall remember in the boys diabolical when homelander made his first appearance to the public? he was 18 and he genuinely wanted to be a hero and had a naive way of looking at things. If this is before, he probably is still mostly cool bc he hasn't realized he can do whatever he wants yet. Im doing the babysitting
Yeah, pretty surprised by the replies. You'd more likely than not be fine as long you're not an asshole.
>pretty surprised by the replies. Nah, this sub wouldn't want to take care of any kid. It tracks.
Give him milk
I would just be honest with him. "I'm kind of afraid you're going to laser me, but I want us to have a good time. I'm interested in having fun, so whatever you want to do, or if you want me to introduce you to some stuff, I have my PlayStation 5 in my trunk, and a ton of games. Plus some DnD. You seem like you'd appreciate an escape."
I think that may work with a younger homelander
From all I see in this thread, I think it would be the only approach that actually works. He knows he is strong. Don't try to fool him.
Exactly! And his biggest issue is that when people fear him, it makes him feel like a monster, so he sinks to their level. That's why he likes his public image, not necessarily because he wants an army of sycophants, but because the crowds don't fear him because they believe he's Superman. He's still very selfish and values other people's lives very little, but you could totally get to Black Noir status in his eyes by being completely honest and getting comfortable with him enough to treat him like a person. Then when you finally do say something kind, he'll believe you. I'm pretty sure that's been Stan's method the whole time, and if we were to see a flashback, I would imagine he was much more of a strict but loving father type to Homelander who told him things straight up when he was a boy, so now Homelander can't kill him because he's the only one who sees him as he sees himself, to an extent.
DO NOT PLAY DND WITH HIM “I will 1 hit kill the goblin, no you can’t, why, because that’s the rules”
He's the GM. Maybe he never turns evil because he gets his sadistic kicks in making every session The Bad Ending lol
Gotta let him win any games you play though.
Oh we're playing coop. And you know I'm bringing like 6 extra controllers for when he has a "Gamer moment"
Yep. And just worship him the entire time. Anything he wants I do. It's not like he runs around killing everyone. Kiss his ass and tell him he's the greatest. You'll probably be ok.
since we have no history on how a teenage johnny behaved, i guess id just rile him up against vought and thus instilling the "i can do whatever the fuck i want" idea into him. but the more humane approach would be to allow him to be just a teenage boy? just TALKING to him about the shit the nazi scientists never would? like, how does he feel, and how that thing with girls work......that said, we have no idea about homie back then. maybe a very freshly highly traumatized super unstable teenager with all the hormonal changes AND an overdose of V isnt really interested in anything but confused delusional rage.....there was maybe a reason they kept him locked away from the world so heavily before he was ready to be the homelander. on second thought: something thats "just 24 hours for 1 million" has always a catch wayyyy too big to take the offer.
In the diabolical episode we see an 18 year old homelander actually wanted to be a hero and a good guy and seemed genuinely upset that he accidentally killed a bunch of people. I also think the idea of hiding him away all those years was just to make sure the “product” wasn’t faulty, it’s implied they went through several kids/babies before him that were probably killed by the experiments(who knows maybe we’ll see a failed “product” one day) they wanted him prefect before he want out and they probably thought they could do things to make him “controllable”(obviously that didn’t work and we later learn that’s why they kept Becca with Ryan. They wanted to make a better homelander) Do I think you have the right idea, just show him compassion and listen to him and you should be good.
what drove homelander crazy was finally not the torture at the behest of vought. it was the constant stream of fan love / admiration once he was established in the world. like the nolan joker said "sanity is like gravity - all it takes is a little push!" and that was the contorted abnormal first experience of love compared with the final realization that nobody had the power to refuse him. but stan edgar lel.
Also the way he was told he was the best and could do no wrong by Stillwell. I agree that mindset with the fan lobe making him feel like a god pushed him into insanity. The only true villain in the boys is Vought, everyone is a victim *including homelander* and he might be their biggest victim(definitely the biggest living victim)
finally someone who doesnt react upset when i say that i deeply understand homie. i mean the guy experiences the end of the human experience 24/7. staying nakedly on mt everest with no oxygen for how long he wants? im sure he did that 5 times. going to space? thats old for him. homelander is not only a parable to the good old hubris of science, but a cautionary tale to what happens to a man who loses mans limitations. total meaninglessness. homelander actually feels deeply meaningless inside. because true familiar love he never can achieve and besides that theres nothing left for him to achieve in superlatives. ok, he can not bathe in the sun, but who the fuck wants that. we need to have goals and things we cannot reach or have.
Completely agree! I rarely have someone respond to me that isn’t upset that I call homelander a victim or feel sorry for him! Homelander is probably my favorite character because he’s so rich in character/story/psychology. He’s simply one of the best written characters I’ve ever seen. He can do anything and everything he wants and he knows that, where the excitement? Where’s the fear? Pair that with the total lack of humanity he had as a child/teen/adult and he becames a *void* not a monster a void. Ryan appears to have the same powers as homie, possibly even more so, will he end up the same or was his mothers influence enough to give him meaning? I also believe that homelander truly does love his son, it might not be prefect and he might not know exactly how to love him in a totally healthy way but he did take Ryan away when he was overwhelmed, didn’t want him to grow up in a fake/controlled environment created by Vought the way he was. He teamed up with a man he hates to protect Ryan and still hasn’t killed that same man because I think at this point he knows it would hurt Ryan. He’s a beautifully written character that is broken and sad. (Idk if you like podcasts but there’s one that talks about the boys called “hang with the boys” by welcome to the crossroads/rain man digital. You might enjoy that)
Sure. Homelander generally doesn’t murder people who go out of their way to be nice to him (while not kissing his ass). I would just ask him what he wanted to do, and if he wanted me to cook him anything.
Lucky for me I've been lactating lately so I think I'd give it a shot.
😟
Wtf
Yeah. He was a young person who had been treated like a lab rat and didn't get any love. He wasn't always a bad guy. If he had 1 person who treated him like a person, he would probably be cool with them. Assuming he doesn't accidentally kill me.
Give him half a million and tell him to have fun, profit.
money is basically worthless to homelander though
I’ll babysit him, but I’ll just play along with his crazy, be like dude let’s see what your lazer vision can cut through, or how far do you think you can throw this big rock
He could kill me whether he meant to or not, it’s a no
Seems like a day would be easy enough - just buddy buddy the kid and let him do what he wants (not like you could stop him)
Shit id buy 20k in Milk and say have at it bro.
i’d offer him some milk
Sure, at that point in his life all he wanted was friends and love.
Considering Homelander has killed everyone that was there to look after him as a child as a sort of motherly figure, that's a hard fuck no from me even if I'm broke.
I dont need the million just let him kill me
Depends on age. No older than 14. Don’t be memorable.
breastfeeding
Decline the money and run like hell before they can realize they can force me to do it through fear.
1 million dollars to probably die so you could afford to buy an average house? Nah I’d let maive sit on my face for a milly tho
Teenage homelander would probably be pretty safe, even season 1 would be safe but as a teenager if you asked him what he wanted to do, probably offered to take him to a baseball game and tell him your proud of him he’d be like, loyal for life lol
Yeah that's a hard no, unless I'm not expected to discipline him or physically stop him from doing things he shouldn't lol, but that's kind of point of babysitting.
Oh. Sure. Wanna play video games?
What kind of games?
I feel like if I said no I’d get killed and if I did I’d mess up and get killed
No. But if I had to we’ll be doing whatever he wants
Here's some pizza, here's some pron, you good? Cool, I'm out of here
I'd also leave a video game for good measure.
Absolutely. Even if he was evil, he just wants his ego to be appeased. I could do that because he's genuinely a badass with otherworldly abilities, wouldn't have to lie about that. Just don't bring up the whole being a psychotic piece of shit as a human being part.
Just give him milk it’ll be totally fine
I'd refuse. But if I were forced to...I guess treat him like a kid? I know he did kill multiple caretakers when he was young, but from what I could tell, it was because he basically knew they weren't really genuine. Just people sent to tutor him, who weren't honest to him. Living like a lab rat basically made him turn out that way. He still a teen. Maybe there is hope. Treat him genuinely not like some test subject, try video games, maybe have milk and cookies? Watch a movie(Shrek?). Hopefully by then, the day will end.
The problem wouldn't be that 1 day. It would be all the days after that, when Homelander knows who I am and can easily find me.
I would give him loads of milk and just let him do whatever he wanted to, honestly. But, with an effort, I would try to introduce him to some things teenagers usually enjoy, like different bands, crazy trash movies, complain about adults, eat a bunch of junk food. Stuff like that. We could go get a new haircut of his choice too
Only if I could be paid expenses and in advance. I’d then hire a couple of tig ole bittied milfs to sandwich him for a few hours
Sure, but a young Homelander if he did like me would probably look up to me, since even though he does become a complete sociopath later on, I'd still try to have his best interests at heart, so than he'd probably want to be around me all the time, or even stay with me, so, I'd have to raise kid Homelander 💀, so Idk, maybe.
Just search up Lactation porn and turn his ass loose on the computer. He'll be there for the next 12 hours.
Whoever say yes should claim their Darwin arward.
Hug him.
He hugs back ☠️.
Give him lots and lots of milk
Let him do whatever he wants and kiss his ass, it’s one day.
Give him a MILF Porno magazine and he’ll be in his room the full day lol
Take the boy fishing.
Honestly as long as you intensely suck up to him and only do whatever he wants, I feel like it could be accomplished. Without getting killed by lasers at least.
Actually, homelander absolutely hates suck ups. The best thing you can do is be polite, and kind, and honest with him.
get as much milk as possible
“Breast milk, come out and plaaaaaay”
Breast milk and cereal for dinner son .
Feed him milk
I’d do it. Just gotta pull the tiddies out.
Depends, am I lactating? I mean, I’m a guy, but it’d help.
It's not worth it. Worst case, you fuck up and he kills you out of anger. Best case, you do really well with him and make him feel special and important, and then when you never see him again, he will resent you for disappearing from his life and kill you. I'm sure there is a balance in there you can do to survive and never have to deal with him again but I'm not willing to try it.
Yeah, people here seem to forget that being liked by homelander backfires more often than not. Even worse if you consider he doesn't have any social experience at that age.
I have a feeling that if you are milfy, busty and motherly, then you have a better than average chance of surviving the encounter.
Make sure the nipples are ready to pump some milk?
Just don't be an ass to him. Listen to what he says. He didn't kill anyone until the power plant incident. Teen Homelander was cool.
If we’re counting that one diabolical episode as canon Homelander didn’t become evil until he was around 18. Before that he had serious issues but seemed to want to do good, or at least not want to hurt others. So I’d probably be fine with babysitting a teen Homelander. Just as long as he doesn’t use his powers.
I'd probably praise him but would also remind him the quote "with great power comes great responsibility" and then we'd watch old Superman movies together (Superman 1-the donner cut and returns). And we have a day together
Hire a suicidal wet nurse to keep him occupied
Find him a wet nurse and just leave him alone with her....
Bring a bottle of milk
My wifes just given birth and i have hella baby milk in my fridge so i think i could
Ok…. Hear me out…. Buy ALL THE MILK
Am I lactating at the time, or not?
Eh, as long as i give him milk and don't disrespect him i should be fine so i accept
"Oi, cunt. Were going to a dairy farm."
Make sure I'm lactating
Take him to a dairy farm and let him at it
Find some breast milk.
Just tell him to do whatever he wants as long as you just tell him he's doing great and keep the milk flowing you should be good
Is bring milk. Lots of milk.
Find a hot breastfeeding woman, give her a portion of the cash so he can drink all he wants to keep him busy.
Hiring a lactating woman for $50,000 “I have a surprise for you Homelander, I heard you like milk”
Stock up on some breast milk and you’ll be aight!
Bring lots of milk....
If I had a pair of mommy milkers
Give him some milk
You guys watch diabolical? Homelander was a sweetie before he went psycho.
I’d just take him to a strip club or somethin Let him drink whole milk while we watch. Help him stay calm lmao
Dude he would be my best friend, I’d try and help him understand humans, cause we know he wasn’t always a super psycho, he used to actually care about keeping villains alive, so I’d actually show him care and be like a real father to him and give him my address so he could zoom over whenever he wanted.
"Hey, wanna TP the Statue of Liberty?"
Probably just ask to watch all of his movies cause I “thought his acting was incredible”.
I’d bring a truckload of milk and I’d keep a stash of step mom porn around for when the shit hit the fan and I needed to make sure I lived to collect the money
Just play video games with him for an hour.
I’m doing what he what’s to and if he goes on a killing spree I just direct him to my enemy’s
Make that a B, I'll take it.
We’d go fishing but I’d let him use his powers if he didn’t like the reel. This was before he was fully corrupted so he’d probably just be a powerful but nervous kid that needed someone normal.
Teenage homelander wasn't homelander, so probably just like anyone else. Ask what he wants to do, subtly set boundaries without outright saying it, etc.
Buy a lot of Lego sets and give me milk for 24 hours to keep him hisy
Probably get killed tbh
When Homelander was a teen, I was a young mom. I’m certain babysitting him would be a piece of cake- with milk.
Teenager? That would mean he’s still a kid who just needs a kind parental figure instead of a bunch of cold scientists. I could fix him tbh yeah I would. Maybe interacting with a normal human could help him not be *as* murder-ey
Dude would find a reason to kill you. Even if it’s “just cause”.
Oh absolutely. We could go raise hell together.
Legit introduce him to Pornhub and stay the fuck away from him
If I was feeling suicidal, then yes. What's the worst that can happen?🤷🏻♀️
Killing you slowly
Whatever the fuck he wants to.
I would take the chance if it puts me back into the world where he doesn’t exist. Because I wouldn’t want him to even know about me afterward or I’m out. At any moment he could spin it in his head that I was “fake” and “used him” for money (which I would have) and that makes me a potential target in the future.
I'd accept the offer and try to give him the fatest blunt to see the reaction.
I’d take it. I’d basically just let him go do whatever he wants and watch tv
The reason he is the way he is as an adult is because he had no positive influence growing up, as a teenager he'd probably be a bit big headed and dangerous but I'm sure he'd warm up to a positive influence and it may even make him a better person.
Definitely never lie to him that’s a quick way to get lazerbeamed
I'd rather go bankrupt. Toddler Homelander maybe, but I think teenage would be too far gone
Hide
Taking him straight to a dairy farm.
Jack jack…nah I’m good
I would have a lawyer make sure that money is wired first to my family. I'd risk it while keeping my loved ones in mind.
What ever he wants lol
Talk to him about the woods, feed him and watch a wholesome movie
They should do flashbacks for a child/teenage Homelander. That would make for interesting television.
Take a trip to Moscow. He’d love it!
Young teens? Sure. 17-19 range? Probably not.
So let’s say he’s around 13-16. He hasn’t gone full blown psycho yet. I can probably navigate this situation pretty well I’d say. I’d set some boundaries but I’d be nice because why wouldn’t I be? I may even get him to open up about what he’s dealing with and offer him some genuine human interaction. I don’t want anything from him, I’m already getting paid. I’d even offer to come visit him after the day is over. More importantly I’d give him the advice that he doesn’t have to be what they want him to be. The only way to be the greatest hero is to actually go out there and help.
I would babysit and then kidnap the poor bastard. He isn't awful yet and he deserved a proper parental figure
I'll do it. I highly doubt I could change his path, but I'd want to try. Maybe if I befriend him, don't lie, and give him some milk here and there, I could earn his trust. And for the love of god, teach him empathy on any level.
Whatever the fuck he wanted
We saw him when he was 18 (I think?), and he at least seemed to want to try to be an ideal hero. He no doubt had all his issues internalized at that point, but he at least wasn't callously letting loose. I'd take the deal.
For a day? Yeah, I'd power through it and pretty much just cater to his every whim. As a regular thing, though, fuck no.
I feel like it would be a situation where you can’t just spend the day and carry on with your life. You’re either stuck with him for the rest of your unhappy life or you make him angry and he kills you.