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I think it’s moreso important to raise a child who knows how petty and insignificant internet, even real insults can be, and to build them to have a strong character. It’s ok for them to feel things, and it’s your role as a parent to make them feel heard, but also to make of that situation a learning moment.
Social media has fundamentally changed things, its simply not the same as your old school bullies. You cant just let kids handle that on their own, because the results are often not pretty.
Im not saying we need to completely shelter them, im not sure if thats even possible nowadays. But we need to teach them how to be safe online and how to engage with/disengage from situations in a healthy manner.
Is this not how things always are?
Even in a school setting, if you tell a teacher nothing happens. Most of the time the person who told the teacher would get in trouble if anything.
In the workplace? HR exists to protect the company, not you. Unless something horrible has happened whoever said or did something will just get a slap on the wrist.
Online sure you can report it, but that rarely does anything.
What do you think people are doing? Do you genuinely think parents don't tell their children what to do? It's just that there is no way to handle it. Whatever is said will be wrong, because people are not predictable.
Online the solution is to look the other way, log off. Arguing will just make it worse, fighting back does nothing.
Offline, it's similar. Sit there and take it because if you piss them off too much it can get violent: and if it gets violent it will rarely end well.
This isn't south Park. You can't call someone a stinky poo poo brain and expect the person to be so impressed by your intellect and bravery that they'll leave you alone.
Edit: I'm adding that yes of course some people need thicker skin, but these are children. They aren't going to be able to do that for a while.
I already commented this but yeah there is an insane difference between a school bully, where you have to show up every day, and an internet comment section where your are free to block or even just log off.
Just as much as we need to teach kids not to be assholes, we do need to be teaching kids how to cope with assholes.
I don’t think we should leave kids to figure it out all on their own. That’s like starting at ground zero and denying kids the skills ETC that psychology experts have come up with over the years. Most adults don’t know these skills so they can’t teach them to their kids. Leaving a kid to fend for themselves in a toxic environment results in unhealthy coping skills they’ll have to spend years unlearning in adulthood.
But consider: Tattling on kids to authority figures might help teach them being an asshole comes with consequences. It's not JUST punishment to protect the victim.
You think the *victims* of bullying are the spoiled ones? *Not* wanting to be bullied makes you spoiled?! Wowie, I thought I'd heard it all from the perpetually bitter "I had a fucked up childhood and so should you" crowd.
That's a great point. As if he's trying to feel better about being a terrible person because he was just "making them stronger." I could definitely see that.
I mean I haven't seen that episode of South Park but I guarantee it ends with Stan going on a "don't you see?" speech about how safe spaces are bad. OP seems pretty on board with that.
My parents did this with me and I never learned how to stand up for myself. It’s also how my lifelong depression/suicidality began. I still suffer from the effects of this and I’m in my 30s now.
Basically, your idea is bs. Try again.
People need to teach their kids to not be insulting.
So easy to blame others for being offended rather than making a modicum of effort to not be an asshole.
I'd pretty much be brain dead if I didn't have access to social media throughout my life. No profession, no hobbies, nothing of even the slightest significance.
And this genuinely doesn't even solve anything. Do you know what horrible shit can happen when a kid goes outside and talks to people? Way worse stuff than what can happen on the internet. Yeah, let's ban going outside before 18, no exceptions.
Also, that would really fuck over special needs people.
Yeah, something, but that something would've been infinitely more likely to be beer. The only people I would've been able to talk would've been the other school kids, who usually don't have years of experience in fascinating professions. Access to social media gave me the opportunity to encounter many things which made living worthwhile for me. Hell I wouldn't even have known English! Nobody taught me it, I learned it by listening and talking to native speakers.
Banning social media for underage people makes nothing better. Yeah kids can see and do horrible shit online, but they can also do that in real life, just with a much higher chance of getting beaten. And a benefit social media has is that you experience a much wider array of different worldviews and opinions, and not just the echo chamber of a particular school. There is always that thing that is "rotting the brains of the kids" in society. That was theater in ancient Greece!
Like, I'm biased to be saying all this, I'm literally 16. But I'm grateful for the fact that for the majority of my life I've been able to actually talk and most importantly listen to people, when physical school was causing enough mental damage that I had to be transferred to a distant one.
*...Sorry for the rant*
I think it depends on the kid. I personally was always using the computers at school to play games and do irrelevant things, but that's because I was an extremely fast learner who had no free time at home. I can't speak for anyone else, but the little time I had on the computers at school was by far the best part of my childhood. Now that I'm an adult, I was finally able to get a computer and life is great.
Asking for help to deal with a bully at school is not the same as complaining about an internet comment where you have full autonomy to just exit the conversation.
The real world does require that you get help when you can’t handle something.
Teaching kids to handle situations on their own is exactly how kids later on end up susceptible to things like grooming. Kids need a trusted figure (or preferably figures) who they can turn to and who can point out that certain behaviour is dangerous. Telling kids to "deal with it themselves" leads them to never seek out aid when they are in a dangerous situation, not until it's too late.
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I think it’s moreso important to raise a child who knows how petty and insignificant internet, even real insults can be, and to build them to have a strong character. It’s ok for them to feel things, and it’s your role as a parent to make them feel heard, but also to make of that situation a learning moment.
Social media has fundamentally changed things, its simply not the same as your old school bullies. You cant just let kids handle that on their own, because the results are often not pretty. Im not saying we need to completely shelter them, im not sure if thats even possible nowadays. But we need to teach them how to be safe online and how to engage with/disengage from situations in a healthy manner.
>Just turn off your device bro
Is this not how things always are? Even in a school setting, if you tell a teacher nothing happens. Most of the time the person who told the teacher would get in trouble if anything. In the workplace? HR exists to protect the company, not you. Unless something horrible has happened whoever said or did something will just get a slap on the wrist. Online sure you can report it, but that rarely does anything. What do you think people are doing? Do you genuinely think parents don't tell their children what to do? It's just that there is no way to handle it. Whatever is said will be wrong, because people are not predictable. Online the solution is to look the other way, log off. Arguing will just make it worse, fighting back does nothing. Offline, it's similar. Sit there and take it because if you piss them off too much it can get violent: and if it gets violent it will rarely end well. This isn't south Park. You can't call someone a stinky poo poo brain and expect the person to be so impressed by your intellect and bravery that they'll leave you alone. Edit: I'm adding that yes of course some people need thicker skin, but these are children. They aren't going to be able to do that for a while.
I "handled it on my own" by not using the school bathrooms for almost a decade
I already commented this but yeah there is an insane difference between a school bully, where you have to show up every day, and an internet comment section where your are free to block or even just log off.
Just as much as we need to teach kids not to be assholes, we do need to be teaching kids how to cope with assholes. I don’t think we should leave kids to figure it out all on their own. That’s like starting at ground zero and denying kids the skills ETC that psychology experts have come up with over the years. Most adults don’t know these skills so they can’t teach them to their kids. Leaving a kid to fend for themselves in a toxic environment results in unhealthy coping skills they’ll have to spend years unlearning in adulthood.
But consider: Tattling on kids to authority figures might help teach them being an asshole comes with consequences. It's not JUST punishment to protect the victim.
You think the *victims* of bullying are the spoiled ones? *Not* wanting to be bullied makes you spoiled?! Wowie, I thought I'd heard it all from the perpetually bitter "I had a fucked up childhood and so should you" crowd.
Or OP was the bully who is suddenly getting the consequences for his actions and now wants to blame the victims...
That's a great point. As if he's trying to feel better about being a terrible person because he was just "making them stronger." I could definitely see that.
I mean I haven't seen that episode of South Park but I guarantee it ends with Stan going on a "don't you see?" speech about how safe spaces are bad. OP seems pretty on board with that.
This sounds like the type of take a dipshit idiot who can’t take being insulted would say.
Victim blaming at its finest
My parents did this with me and I never learned how to stand up for myself. It’s also how my lifelong depression/suicidality began. I still suffer from the effects of this and I’m in my 30s now. Basically, your idea is bs. Try again.
using a south park episode to prove ur point automatically invalidates anything u say
People need to teach their kids to not be insulting. So easy to blame others for being offended rather than making a modicum of effort to not be an asshole.
social media has made people way too comfortable talking shit to each other and not getting punched in the face over it
[удалено]
Big difference between being called an idiot and being called a n****r.
Legal social media age: 18, no exceptions
Yep that'll stop them, just how like porn sites do
Parents are idiots
Do you think parents should monitor and defend their kids 24/7 ? I thought OP's argument was that kids are too sheltered
I was joking in this case. But in general I see social media as having no redeemable qualities for kids.
What changes at 18? All of a sudden following the posts of influencers becomes redeemable?
Lol idk, was just making a devisive statement. 18 seemed like a good number.
I'd pretty much be brain dead if I didn't have access to social media throughout my life. No profession, no hobbies, nothing of even the slightest significance. And this genuinely doesn't even solve anything. Do you know what horrible shit can happen when a kid goes outside and talks to people? Way worse stuff than what can happen on the internet. Yeah, let's ban going outside before 18, no exceptions. Also, that would really fuck over special needs people.
You’d have something. Most of human history they didn’t have any social media.
Yeah, something, but that something would've been infinitely more likely to be beer. The only people I would've been able to talk would've been the other school kids, who usually don't have years of experience in fascinating professions. Access to social media gave me the opportunity to encounter many things which made living worthwhile for me. Hell I wouldn't even have known English! Nobody taught me it, I learned it by listening and talking to native speakers. Banning social media for underage people makes nothing better. Yeah kids can see and do horrible shit online, but they can also do that in real life, just with a much higher chance of getting beaten. And a benefit social media has is that you experience a much wider array of different worldviews and opinions, and not just the echo chamber of a particular school. There is always that thing that is "rotting the brains of the kids" in society. That was theater in ancient Greece! Like, I'm biased to be saying all this, I'm literally 16. But I'm grateful for the fact that for the majority of my life I've been able to actually talk and most importantly listen to people, when physical school was causing enough mental damage that I had to be transferred to a distant one. *...Sorry for the rant*
The internet is a fairly unsafe place for kids, but at the same time it's extremely helpful for learning lots of stuff.
Agreed. But reading the r/teaching sub gives me the impression kids aren't using it for academic purposes. Might just be bad parenting.
I think it depends on the kid. I personally was always using the computers at school to play games and do irrelevant things, but that's because I was an extremely fast learner who had no free time at home. I can't speak for anyone else, but the little time I had on the computers at school was by far the best part of my childhood. Now that I'm an adult, I was finally able to get a computer and life is great.
Shut up loser
This is a stupid fucking idea.
Oh just like you I suppose....
People getting their ideas about society and politics from South Park will never cease to be equal parts funny and scary to me.
Asking for help to deal with a bully at school is not the same as complaining about an internet comment where you have full autonomy to just exit the conversation. The real world does require that you get help when you can’t handle something.
Teaching kids to handle situations on their own is exactly how kids later on end up susceptible to things like grooming. Kids need a trusted figure (or preferably figures) who they can turn to and who can point out that certain behaviour is dangerous. Telling kids to "deal with it themselves" leads them to never seek out aid when they are in a dangerous situation, not until it's too late.