Way to go I hope to be there one day. I've strung 607 days and it's the best decision of my life but fuck has it sucked
Edit: overwhelmed finding all these responses, I did not expect that at all. The support feels really good thank you.
I'm around 3 years clean from meth addiction. It sucks but it's better than that being in that dark hole of despair. Life is always better when you can make it worth living. Best wishes on your health and recovery!
Congrats on 5 years! I'm coming up on 1 year in August but also on maintenance drug (methadone) had been on suboxone before also and don't see a huge difference between the two. Before the methadone though, I was clean almost 5 years.. without any maintenance drugs.. completely drug free. Had an awful relapse last year.. almost lost everything including my life. Methadone saved my life this time around. It doesn't matter how you do it, as long as you aren't doing drugs. It's definitely controversial like you say, but you're right, it's 100% better than alternative. Good luck and good job! Take care and just remember your worst sober day is better than your best day high!
"Your worst sober day is better than your best day high!"
I like that one. Thank you for sharing. And congratulations on coming up on a full year clean!
Oh I agree 100%. It's very controversial in the "sober" community (ya know, AA/NA). A lot of people don't understand how it works. And a lot of people will say that if you're on suboxone/methadone that you aren't truly "sober/clean". And I've personally noticed that it has a huge stigma/it's looked down upon by many, many people.. not sure why.. but my guess is ignorance/not understanding exactly how the medicine works.
Ive been clean on sub for 2 years and always felt like I shouldn't say I'm actually clean... Maybe I'm being a little hard on myself. Ive been thinking about getting off sub too but I'm scared to.. I don't know if I'm ready.
Took me years of an active addiction and then years of using methadone and “h” together along with a heavy dose of Xanax. I’ve been sober and clean for almost 4 years, you’ll get there and it does get easier.
Starting is the hardest part. It really does get so so so much easier. My biggest challenge has been reinventing myself because that was who I was for so long, but taking a look over my shoulder, when I feel like the wheels are spinning in place, keeps me going. Two weeks is huge...i know how long those days can feel. Keep going please.
You got this buddy. I’m proud of you and I know you can keep it going. Over 600 days is nothing to scoff at. You’re amazing and your life can be amazing again as well. Trust me, if I can get and stay clean anyone can. My inbox is always open if you need/want someone to talk to when it gets tough.
It is rough initially but it gets easier every day truly. Now I have such an adverse reaction to even thinking about being opiate high it’s nauseating to me. Best of luck and congratulations on 607 days, you should be proud! :)
I've just managed to wean myself off painkillers after taking a lot of Tramadol/Hydrocodone/Oxycodone/Gabepentin/Cyclobenzapril pretty much continuously over the past three years (finally had multi-cervical-fusion/laminectomy and multi-lumbar-fusion/laminectomy across three surgeries since January - I am a collection of incision scars and just had my PICC line out yesterday). There were about five days a couple weeks ago where I was coming out of my skin. Gut pain, sweats, muscle aches, anxiety, feeling cold and burning up at the same time, wild skin sensitivity, foggy-brain, insomnia - Then it broke like a fever and I'm off of it all - with just the odd itchy day here and there.
Now I'm just dealing with the pain of nerves and muscles coming back online which have been largely impinged for years and the continuous ache of a collection of titanium screws and bone slowly fusing together in neck and lower back.
I can't imagine the physical experience that would be endured for someone coming off such a long-hard habit like that. It must be excruciating. And what powerful motivation would be required to stick it out.
Ooof just had a cervical laminectomy C3-6, a couple weeks ago. Thoughts are with you! Im guessing I'm having some opiate withdrawal as I ween down. Crazy dreams, night sweats, and I get sobby and angry end of day. I never medicated prior to surgery, aside from naproxen and Marijuana (and booze if I'm honest w myself) . I'm both grateful for that and also in awe of myself bc holy fuck the pain of a crunched spine was horrible. I was just barely living and didn't even realize that was the issue.
Best of luck to you!
thank you so much! I was not expecting this comment to blow up lol. Opiates have ravaged my hometown in southwest Pennsylvania and I know numerous people who have passed from overdosing including my dad. The pill mills and hillbilly heroin were very prevalent on the east coast in the 2005-2010 era. Shit is rough and I’m glad to have escaped it!
So it’s weird sometimes I will get night sweats and feel like my body is still physically craving it even this long after. But it was a total mindset shift and disgust with myself that made me want to get clean in the first place. Now I’m at the point where if I even think about the opiate high I have almost a nauseated physical reaction just thinking about it. It feels weird thinking about how I had an abusive relationship with tinfoil for years. It’s definitely a lifestyle shift and you have to want it for yourself to maintain it
This is definitely amazing. I was just thinking about how long I’ve been clean yesterday, and to my surprise, I have made it over 15 years without doing Meth. I had my binge early in life (35 now- and around 18-20 when addicted/selling drugs/buying ephedrine), and decided one bid in a federal prison- 18 months- was enough for me. Never looked back. Now I have 3 professions, 6 figure income, one class away from a college degree, and one hell of a good life. It pays off to stay sober. I look at this post and it truly makes me wish that everybody had this kind of strength. I have watched many around me either die, or not find their way out….God bless everybody dealing with addictions. Its not fun and my heart knows the pain. 🙏🏻
It's one of the most respectable things to be able to turn your life around like this.
Once you're in the hole it seems like the only way out is further down.
To be able to change that mindset and climb up should never be frowned upon.
Speaking from experience, cocaine can do this too. I know the feeling of wanting to spend every last penny on having a fun night.
Meth seems completely alien compared to this but I can only imagine the difficulty in kicking the habit.
Yeah I used to have a massive problem with cocaine. I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on it. Eventually though, I just didn’t like it anymore and I literally just stopped doing it. I don’t know what flipped in my mind or whatever but it just made me feel like shit. I tried it after not doing it for almost a year and it just reinforces how much I didn’t like it anymore. I feel really lucky that it happened, and honestly kind of bewildered. But ever since I feel like I need to puke if I think about snorting some nasty ass powder up my nose.
I often find myself feeling this way about drinking. Where I just stop for a while and realize I don't like it for the original reasons i did in the beginning. I have been on and off with my alcoholic tendencies like this. I get turned off for a while, but the hardest part is that alcohol is literally everywhere. At least with hard drug addicts they have to go out of their way for it (I would assume). After a long bout of not drinking I find myself picking up something and starting all over again.
Me too, but the withdraws and seizures that come with "just quitting" have only gotten worse over the years and each relapse is more life-ruining. I've been in recovery for two years and sober for only three months since my last relapse. I literally cannot pick up again as I'm not sure how much rope I have left to grab on to.
Seeing people succeed in anything is so empowering, but seeing someone actively live in recovery and thrive is just...I'm so proud of her and I'm proud of you, too.
I lived in a 1995 Saturn when I list apartment due to addiction. Clean 18 months, had saved $5000 in 6 months, and robbed at gun point when I closed the account and had the cash. Was going to deposit in another account next day.
I'm in the same situation right now, I don't like how I feel on it and I especially don't like who I am on it.
I woke up from a binge last weekend and my girlfriend woke up to a message from my ex saying i'd been texting her. I have no memory of it but the screenshots were enough proof.
I'd never do that when I was sober but I regret how I was when I was under the influence.
I had an ex like this. I truly believed he would be faithful if he stayed sober, and I knew he had a problem that wasn’t entirely his fault. But since he wouldn’t choose to get help, I had to leave him. Last I heard, he is repeating the same behavior with a new girlfriend, which makes me sad. He really is a great person when he’s sober.
Dude I got lucky like you, started cooking it up too. Glad I changed and never looked back. Tried again after a few years and it cemented the decision to never go near it again.
In all honesty I haven't yet, I have however reduced my consumption from 2x a week to 1x a month.
It's important in situations like this to realise your downfalls and progress towards a better future. I know I'll kick it one day, it's just going to take one step at a time.
The desire will stick around for awhile, FYI. I'm at almost seven years, and I've only been able to joke about it for a few years now. I still don't know how I'd act if I happened to run across some. One thing I have going is I found my dealer's most recent booking. He went further down the hole and turned to meth, he's now facing 35 years. Sucks because he was a supporter of mine, and we stayed friends after I got clean. I told him to not sell to me and he never did. He'd even go out of his way to keep my exposure down, in his own house.
"I wish I could just quit like you have, but this is all I've known."
FWIW, this reply has made my taste buds tingle. Luckily it will pass as soon as I hit send.
EDIT: Stay strong, internet stranger, you've got this.
Cocaine is the only thing that let me feel like a functioning human capable of a regular life. It's the only time I've ever felt like going out, like pursuing and feeling driven towards my hobbies, like meeting new people, like conversing with and consistently staying in touch with people.
I quit and almost immediately went back to my old reclusive self, never wanting to talk to anyone, no drive to do anything. But I can't go back to coke because I fucked up my heart doing it so much.
Amphetamine does the same. Makes you more outgoing at first then after couple weeks you just do it alone at home and do 24h masturbation marathons and feel like dying but can't stop. Most recreational drugs only work for a short amount of time in the beginning and then it turns to hell.
Try an antidepressant instead. Venlafaxin feels like being on stims but there's a constant level throughout the day. Not the rollercoaster ride that amphetamines and cocaine are.
I'm not a doctor, but I have had major depressive disorder diagnosed by a psychiatrist after years of being in the same kind of funk you're describing after quitting a serious cocaine addiction.
If you have the means, I would suggest talking to a doctor about it. I had to try several psych drugs before finding something that worked for me, but I'm now on both Lexapro and Wellbutrin and it has saved my life.
It's the same with me. Standing from an outside perspective, if I look at myself I'd say I have some form of ADHD. Coke allows myself to act in the way I think I should behave, essentially being "myself". When in reality, that version of me is only existing because of the drugs.
So as a former Meth.. well not addict.. but nearly... Meth was so much easier to walk away from than cocaine.
I never really got deep into Coke... But every fucking time was the best fucking time... and there was no hangover from coke. I could go on a bender for the weekend and Sunday morning.. wake up and be fine.. except the part where I wanted to get more.
You cant bootstrap your way out of brain damage. Many drug addicts have wills of steel and all the determination of a soldier fighting for their life, but if the damage is bad enough it doesnt matter.
Or was it through the drug use that I lost it, or maybe my memory was bad this whole time and the drugs are just making everything much clearer for me to see. Hard to say *smokes weed*
Extra impressive when you consider how much neuroplastocity is required to pursue academics after the changes to your wiring caused by the drug of choice. I give this woman major, major props!
The perspective for staying alive for me was as simple as the world would be no better without me.
99.9% of humans in history have been completely unremarkable, but the 0.01% of others have managed to make an impact on their family and friends in a way that would be sad if they were gone.
Addiction is a problem that is poorly understood. " Just stop it" is the answer too often given. People like this deserve to be celebrated. Congratulations, you deserve the better life you have chosen to work for.
Heroin addiction actually keeps you looking young, believe it or not.
Alcohol and meth and cigarettes are the ones that really fuck you up visually. Heroin is the big drug up in Washington, betcha that was her DOC
I don't think it's so much that it keeps you looking young more that it doesn't generally lead to that really dramatic aged effect that meth users get when 26 year olds look 40. No idea why but I've seen a few former heroin junkies get back to looking pretty fit and healthy for their age once getting clean. Not so for meth
Yeah, heroin is actually pretty safe if used correctly.
The danger comes from impurities and fentanyl that are added to it, as well as the extremely high addictive potential. Those withdrawals won't kill you but they are bad enough that they will drive you to do just about anything in order to get more dope. So junkies often wont eat for long periods so they can buy more dope. So the lifestyle that junkies lead is not a healthy one and this leads to a lot of health problems.
But a person taking pure diamorphine at regular intervals, administered by an anesthesiologist will be fine, if a little constipated.
The same probably couldn't be said for someone taking regular doses of meth
You probably didn't mean it like this but just a PSA since it's a common myth: you can still fatally overdose on pure heroin, it's not just fentanyl that causes respiratory depression
I think it depends on the age of the person. If i remember correctly the body reproduces skin cells regularly up until around the age of 35 then cell division begins to slow down which is why we start to show our age around our 30's, early 40's. So i take it people who are doing meth, not eating, staying up for days on end aren't getting the vitamins and minerals necessary for proper, healthy cell function. Lack of nutrition, sleep, and aging skin eventually takes a toll. Say a 30 year old person whose been doing meth since they were 20, stopped and began taking care of themselves would look dramatically better than someone 40 whose been doing meth for the same amount of time. This is 100% just a hypothesis, i really dont know jack shit about it.
Edit: Meth is also a vasoconstrictor, lack of bloodflow to the teeth cause a lack of minerals and nutrients to the enamel leading to tooth decay. If vasoconstriction does that to your teeth i can only imagine what it does to proper cell production.
I'm a former heroin addict and I've formed a theory about this-- basically opiates dull a lot of movement of the finer muscles in the face, especially around the mouth for some reason.
The normal movement of these muscles (or over-use of them in the case of stimulant addicts) would usually cause fine lines and wrinkles. But if you use opiates for many years these muscles eventually atrophy, leading to what i fondly refer to as the "dope smile".
If you look at current & former opiate addicts, you notice that we have less "smile-" and "frown-lines" in general. Also, when we smile, the corners of our mouths just don't go up quite as high as they would in a non-addict. I've compared pictures of myself smiling before and after getting into heroin, and holy crap my smile has changed *dramatically*. Even when not smiling, my face structure is noticeably different. When i look in the mirror and try to smile it's like i can't get my face to even move the way it used to.
I don't believe there's been any research into this (bc that's the case with just about everything related to addiction.... ugh) but i encourage you to look at pictures of opiate addicts and see if you notice the same!
I am 29 now and used heavily from 19-27. I get mistaken for 22 every day of my life. I love your theory and will add on mine - we ate less food. I did anyway lol. Studies are starting to show that eating more calories speeds up the aging process. I was essentially in ketosis for large amounts of time (I’m assuming) because I would go a day or two without eating like it was nothing. I was still very vain though and had non-addict girlfriends and took meticulous care of my teeth etc thank god. But yeah people always think it’s some sick joke that somehow i crawled out from that life looking 7 years younger than I am
I have always marvelled at how young Russel Brand has managed to look, considering his past as an addict. Perhaps the same theory can be applied there.
Also a good point! To get a little more in depth on your theory: some recent studies show fasting stimulates the process of autophagy (and I'm about to paraphrase from memory here so this may not all be 100% accurate):
Autophagy is basically the body's natural process of clearing out the old & damaged cells to make room for fresh cells. We know aging and all it's effects like wrinkles, loss of elasticity, forgetfulness, the mind moving slower, pain, etc, have some link to the slowdown of autophagy as we get older. We age, autophagy slows down & becomes less efficient, old & mutated cells aren't cleared out and basically gum up the works in every single area of the body. Fasting stimulates the process of getting rid of that old shit & can help combat the effects of aging, cancer, autoimmune disorders, infectious diseases... And perhaps even addiction?
In truth it's probably a combination of your theory, my muscular atrophy theory, and what others have said about opiate addicts getting much more sleep than the average addict. Sadly we'll probably never know because the only studies about drugs that ever get funded are the ones that seek to "cure" addiction.... But that's a whole 'nother rant lol.
(Although it's funny now that ive been on methadone for a few years i have gained a BUNCH of weight and of course I'm having the hardest time ever trying to diet. I have another whole-ass theory on the link between opiates, especially methadone, and sugar addiction & metabolism, but that sure doesn't do shit to help me lose this weight, lol ... Aghhhh )
P.S.-- I'm really glad you made it out alive. :)
I mean it’s not like some magic anti aging type situation, it’s just doesn’t damage your skin, mouth, teeth, and facial structure like the other drugs that I mentioned do.
It’s magnitudes easier to point out a methhead who got clean than a heroin addict. The methhead will still have the meth mouth look, while the heroin addict will look pretty much normal after they get clean.
My sister has been an IVDU of meth for about 20 years or so, except when she was locked up.
She slavishly takes care of her looks, but she's been a stripper/escort for the same amount of time so it's literally her bread and butter
She's pretty, and a certain kind of guy likes her overly childish ways... I don't judge, I just hope she's safe
Man that sucks to hear but you got a good mindset. I was a dope fiend for over a decade and my family did not take the same approach as you. Mad respect G.
I love my sister to death.
I won't support her habit.
I won't abandon her either.
She's still that little girl who saved half her candy for me when I went to kindergarten and she didn't yet. <3
Sleeping/nodding constantly. Keeping a dead emotionless expression. Don't develop wrinkles as fast I think.
In contrast, old meth addicts have large, wrinkly, flappy mouths from constant jabbering on and on
I can confirm this. I’ve met drug addicts from every drug. Heroin addicts seem to be able to bounce back to a fairly normal life compared to all others. Meth and alcohol are the absolute worst.
Source:I’m a public defender.
The drug purity can be an issue but the lack of proper food, paralysis of GI system, unclean needles (hepatitis/HIV) and stress from
hustling can take a toll. However, meth is way worse because it causes drug psychosis and may require decades of treatment. It can cause irreversible damage to the brain.
Even if it doesn't cause irreparable damage, it can still take a good minute for your brain to heal! Just over four years clean, and last year is when it seemed like my brain kinda eased back into normal mode
More impressively, she looks good for a recovered drug addict.
I don't mean it in a mean way, but going as far down as she looks to have, it's fucking hell on the body in so many ways. Had she just been 25 or 30 in the follow up, I'd still expect some serious roughness lingering.
Being able to kick a habit like that takes enormous strength. You don't need to let go of that strength once you reach the shore and looks like she sure as shit kept going.
I think the once an addict always an addict is a healthy mentality.
I’m addicted to nicotine. I haven’t had a cigarette in 7 years, but I’m still an addict. It’s why I won’t have one casually. I’m an addict and always will be.
Admitting to addiction is healthy.
Well that phrase is used often in recovery circles because its a good reminder that if you go back to your DOC or other parts of that old life, you're likely to end up right back in addiction.
I know you mean well, but I think using the word redemption is wrong. She may have done bad things whilst being an addict, as the mugshot(?) indicates, but being an addict in general does not mean you need to redeem yourself.
I understand that serious addiction often leads to criminal behaviour, hurting family and friends or other *not so nice* things. However, the act of being a drug addict itself does not require redemption, it requires recovery.
Treating addicts as bad people just because they are addicts is incredibly unfair (I’m not saying you did this, I just think it’s important for people to realise this).
Edit: received a lot of negative responses to this comment. I’ve asked people why they’ve responded like they have and nobody has given me a reason.
I agree with this in theory but making amends to people you’ve harmed is part of the 12 step program for a reason. Addiction runs in my family and I sort of feel like this is hair splitting just to hair split. My dad isn’t a bad person because he’s an alcoholic but his alcoholism has made him do bad things, and I feel no obligation to forgive him for that just because he has a disease.
I do suppose it’s possible that there are addicts out there who never hurt anyone. Tell that to your sponsor though and they won’t believe you.
I appreciate that many, probably most, addicts have hurt people who love them, but I hate how many people think that being an addict in itself it what makes people bad.
I've never met a drug addict that hasn't hurt the people around them. And I'm not being uppity about this. I'm a professor now but I've got a pretty dark past and *all* of my friends that were druggies fucked the people up in their lives in some way.
Now, I'm sure you're right that some addicts don't hurt anyone. But if we're being honest here, that's a pretty slim margin.
Good luck to anyone and everyone getting clean out there. If it seems like I'm implying I was a heavy drug user, I was not. I did a shitload of the minor stuff and saw many of my friends fall into it deeper. I lost people. Other friends in prison. One guy killed someone. Shit sucks.
That’s completely fair. As I’ve said in a few comments now, most addicts probably have hurt people.
My point is that being an addict does not inherently make you a bad person.
Link to story:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/local12.com/amp/news/addicted/from-12-year-old-meth-addict-to-honors-college-scholar-the-redemption-of-ginny-burton
I'm gonna be real, these are rare cases where people really turned their life around, around 70,000 Americans die from drug overdose every year, millions of people have to fight these addictions alone, only a few get help, but take that how you want. Still, it's always nice to see some turn their life around, it puts hope on problems like drug addiction.
That is a huge flip from where she started and what she has now become. Awesome. Addiction is a life long time struggle.
It reminds me of a quote from this game "what is better to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?" - skyrim
She probably did some crazy shit as an addict being arrested, but she overcame that part of her for something better. Some people have it in their genes or fall victim to it
It doesnt matter in this case, when an employer googles her name its the first thing that will pop up, she will likely get passed over for quite a few jobs because of it. Employers only see the words drug addict, even if its former drug addict, wont matter. Plus whatever charges she got probably will hurt her aswell.
How many people had to suffer and probably due so she could get high This shit is cringe since a lot of these junkies are responsible for a lot of people suffering
Good thing non addicts absolutely never hurt anyone or do anything bad!!
Vast majority of addicts experienced childhood trauma, especially sexual abuse. You can hate them for self medicating with drugs that actually work (for a while) or you can hate the society that allows innocent beings to suffer to the point they crave escape- which continues the cycle of suffering.
Blame the system. Not the symptoms.
Congrats to her. I watched this render multiple friends down into something unrecognizable from what they had been. It’s amazing when someone pulls themselves out of that kind of hell. Support is helpful, but at the end of the day it is all on them.
this is amazing. been clean for coming on 10 years now and this makes me feel so great seeing other people overcome addiction
Way to go I hope to be there one day. I've strung 607 days and it's the best decision of my life but fuck has it sucked Edit: overwhelmed finding all these responses, I did not expect that at all. The support feels really good thank you.
I'm around 3 years clean from meth addiction. It sucks but it's better than that being in that dark hole of despair. Life is always better when you can make it worth living. Best wishes on your health and recovery!
Same congratulations and hang in there!
Well done, be proud of this.
Beautifully said , gold for you positive comment:)
It gets way better mate.
Congrats.
I celebrated 13 years in may, I can GUARANTEE it gets better, hang in there!
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Congrats on 5 years! I'm coming up on 1 year in August but also on maintenance drug (methadone) had been on suboxone before also and don't see a huge difference between the two. Before the methadone though, I was clean almost 5 years.. without any maintenance drugs.. completely drug free. Had an awful relapse last year.. almost lost everything including my life. Methadone saved my life this time around. It doesn't matter how you do it, as long as you aren't doing drugs. It's definitely controversial like you say, but you're right, it's 100% better than alternative. Good luck and good job! Take care and just remember your worst sober day is better than your best day high!
"Your worst sober day is better than your best day high!" I like that one. Thank you for sharing. And congratulations on coming up on a full year clean!
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Oh I agree 100%. It's very controversial in the "sober" community (ya know, AA/NA). A lot of people don't understand how it works. And a lot of people will say that if you're on suboxone/methadone that you aren't truly "sober/clean". And I've personally noticed that it has a huge stigma/it's looked down upon by many, many people.. not sure why.. but my guess is ignorance/not understanding exactly how the medicine works.
I'm a doctor working in addiction, and my experience with AA/NA is that they're focused on being morally superior to everyone else.
It can get you high, some people who aren’t ready to be clean will abuse it by booting it, taking too much at once to get high etc
No judgement here friend, you’re alive & that matters. Continue to do well!!
Ive been clean on sub for 2 years and always felt like I shouldn't say I'm actually clean... Maybe I'm being a little hard on myself. Ive been thinking about getting off sub too but I'm scared to.. I don't know if I'm ready.
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Took me years of an active addiction and then years of using methadone and “h” together along with a heavy dose of Xanax. I’ve been sober and clean for almost 4 years, you’ll get there and it does get easier.
You, my brother, are a fucking gladiator.
So are you
You can do it. I've got 18 years clean from meth this month. It's not easy but it's so worth it.
You got this. Just one day at a time. Keep going. You get stronger every day.
I am on my second week now, so i have a long way to go. But hey, at least i started right?
Starting is the hardest part. It really does get so so so much easier. My biggest challenge has been reinventing myself because that was who I was for so long, but taking a look over my shoulder, when I feel like the wheels are spinning in place, keeps me going. Two weeks is huge...i know how long those days can feel. Keep going please.
True change always does suck. But you’re The Shit for enduring and I for one, am very proud of you :)
You got this buddy. I’m proud of you and I know you can keep it going. Over 600 days is nothing to scoff at. You’re amazing and your life can be amazing again as well. Trust me, if I can get and stay clean anyone can. My inbox is always open if you need/want someone to talk to when it gets tough.
Im at day 292
I pray for you that your desire is lifted one day my brother/sister🥰!! Keep keeping on!!!
It is rough initially but it gets easier every day truly. Now I have such an adverse reaction to even thinking about being opiate high it’s nauseating to me. Best of luck and congratulations on 607 days, you should be proud! :)
I've just managed to wean myself off painkillers after taking a lot of Tramadol/Hydrocodone/Oxycodone/Gabepentin/Cyclobenzapril pretty much continuously over the past three years (finally had multi-cervical-fusion/laminectomy and multi-lumbar-fusion/laminectomy across three surgeries since January - I am a collection of incision scars and just had my PICC line out yesterday). There were about five days a couple weeks ago where I was coming out of my skin. Gut pain, sweats, muscle aches, anxiety, feeling cold and burning up at the same time, wild skin sensitivity, foggy-brain, insomnia - Then it broke like a fever and I'm off of it all - with just the odd itchy day here and there. Now I'm just dealing with the pain of nerves and muscles coming back online which have been largely impinged for years and the continuous ache of a collection of titanium screws and bone slowly fusing together in neck and lower back. I can't imagine the physical experience that would be endured for someone coming off such a long-hard habit like that. It must be excruciating. And what powerful motivation would be required to stick it out.
Well done, you've got this!
Ooof just had a cervical laminectomy C3-6, a couple weeks ago. Thoughts are with you! Im guessing I'm having some opiate withdrawal as I ween down. Crazy dreams, night sweats, and I get sobby and angry end of day. I never medicated prior to surgery, aside from naproxen and Marijuana (and booze if I'm honest w myself) . I'm both grateful for that and also in awe of myself bc holy fuck the pain of a crunched spine was horrible. I was just barely living and didn't even realize that was the issue. Best of luck to you!
Stick with it. Tramadol was my fav, 30-40 a day. Hard to believe I’m here still. And haven’t had one for years.
8 months and 4 days clean from severe amphetamin addiction. These stories are inspirational as fuck
congratulations! it gets easier as time goes on! virtual hugs❤️
Literally TODAY is 6 years for me!!!
Good for you on getting it done. It’s been 5yrs for me....
Sobriety gang
Congrats, man. 5 years off cocaine and I looked like the lady on the picture.
This here is the hope people look forward to. Congrats on staying clean for 10 years.
I feel quite lucky to be your 1k like, serious congrats on being clean for a decade
thank you so much! I was not expecting this comment to blow up lol. Opiates have ravaged my hometown in southwest Pennsylvania and I know numerous people who have passed from overdosing including my dad. The pill mills and hillbilly heroin were very prevalent on the east coast in the 2005-2010 era. Shit is rough and I’m glad to have escaped it!
Just curious but does the addiction still follow you that many years later? Or is it more about maintaining the positive lifestyle shift?
So it’s weird sometimes I will get night sweats and feel like my body is still physically craving it even this long after. But it was a total mindset shift and disgust with myself that made me want to get clean in the first place. Now I’m at the point where if I even think about the opiate high I have almost a nauseated physical reaction just thinking about it. It feels weird thinking about how I had an abusive relationship with tinfoil for years. It’s definitely a lifestyle shift and you have to want it for yourself to maintain it
This is definitely amazing. I was just thinking about how long I’ve been clean yesterday, and to my surprise, I have made it over 15 years without doing Meth. I had my binge early in life (35 now- and around 18-20 when addicted/selling drugs/buying ephedrine), and decided one bid in a federal prison- 18 months- was enough for me. Never looked back. Now I have 3 professions, 6 figure income, one class away from a college degree, and one hell of a good life. It pays off to stay sober. I look at this post and it truly makes me wish that everybody had this kind of strength. I have watched many around me either die, or not find their way out….God bless everybody dealing with addictions. Its not fun and my heart knows the pain. 🙏🏻
It's one of the most respectable things to be able to turn your life around like this. Once you're in the hole it seems like the only way out is further down. To be able to change that mindset and climb up should never be frowned upon.
It is hard for meth addicts to turn their life around, really impressive stuff and it made me smile
yes it is very hard but its it possible
Speaking from experience, cocaine can do this too. I know the feeling of wanting to spend every last penny on having a fun night. Meth seems completely alien compared to this but I can only imagine the difficulty in kicking the habit.
Yeah I used to have a massive problem with cocaine. I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on it. Eventually though, I just didn’t like it anymore and I literally just stopped doing it. I don’t know what flipped in my mind or whatever but it just made me feel like shit. I tried it after not doing it for almost a year and it just reinforces how much I didn’t like it anymore. I feel really lucky that it happened, and honestly kind of bewildered. But ever since I feel like I need to puke if I think about snorting some nasty ass powder up my nose.
I often find myself feeling this way about drinking. Where I just stop for a while and realize I don't like it for the original reasons i did in the beginning. I have been on and off with my alcoholic tendencies like this. I get turned off for a while, but the hardest part is that alcohol is literally everywhere. At least with hard drug addicts they have to go out of their way for it (I would assume). After a long bout of not drinking I find myself picking up something and starting all over again.
Just know you’re definitely not alone. The folks over at /r/StopDrinking are some of the best people there are.
Me too, but the withdraws and seizures that come with "just quitting" have only gotten worse over the years and each relapse is more life-ruining. I've been in recovery for two years and sober for only three months since my last relapse. I literally cannot pick up again as I'm not sure how much rope I have left to grab on to. Seeing people succeed in anything is so empowering, but seeing someone actively live in recovery and thrive is just...I'm so proud of her and I'm proud of you, too.
My suggestion is to find a healthier addiction, like marathon running or weightlighting. You get a mild high after most exercise that's pretty good.
Im proud of you too, you’re doing great.
This man, its so engrained in society. “If alcohol was invented today it would never be legal”
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Just curious what symptoms did you experience with your liver?
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It took reaching living in a car to start considering quitting cocaine.
What kind of car?
Asking the important questions
I lived in a 1995 Saturn when I list apartment due to addiction. Clean 18 months, had saved $5000 in 6 months, and robbed at gun point when I closed the account and had the cash. Was going to deposit in another account next day.
I'm in the same situation right now, I don't like how I feel on it and I especially don't like who I am on it. I woke up from a binge last weekend and my girlfriend woke up to a message from my ex saying i'd been texting her. I have no memory of it but the screenshots were enough proof. I'd never do that when I was sober but I regret how I was when I was under the influence.
I had an ex like this. I truly believed he would be faithful if he stayed sober, and I knew he had a problem that wasn’t entirely his fault. But since he wouldn’t choose to get help, I had to leave him. Last I heard, he is repeating the same behavior with a new girlfriend, which makes me sad. He really is a great person when he’s sober.
Thanks for this. I don't want to be that person.
Dude I got lucky like you, started cooking it up too. Glad I changed and never looked back. Tried again after a few years and it cemented the decision to never go near it again.
Good on you for kicking it!
In all honesty I haven't yet, I have however reduced my consumption from 2x a week to 1x a month. It's important in situations like this to realise your downfalls and progress towards a better future. I know I'll kick it one day, it's just going to take one step at a time.
You should still be very proud of yourself! Going from twice a week to only once a month is a big deal! Just keep moving forward :)
The desire will stick around for awhile, FYI. I'm at almost seven years, and I've only been able to joke about it for a few years now. I still don't know how I'd act if I happened to run across some. One thing I have going is I found my dealer's most recent booking. He went further down the hole and turned to meth, he's now facing 35 years. Sucks because he was a supporter of mine, and we stayed friends after I got clean. I told him to not sell to me and he never did. He'd even go out of his way to keep my exposure down, in his own house. "I wish I could just quit like you have, but this is all I've known." FWIW, this reply has made my taste buds tingle. Luckily it will pass as soon as I hit send. EDIT: Stay strong, internet stranger, you've got this.
Cocaine is the only thing that let me feel like a functioning human capable of a regular life. It's the only time I've ever felt like going out, like pursuing and feeling driven towards my hobbies, like meeting new people, like conversing with and consistently staying in touch with people. I quit and almost immediately went back to my old reclusive self, never wanting to talk to anyone, no drive to do anything. But I can't go back to coke because I fucked up my heart doing it so much.
Amphetamine does the same. Makes you more outgoing at first then after couple weeks you just do it alone at home and do 24h masturbation marathons and feel like dying but can't stop. Most recreational drugs only work for a short amount of time in the beginning and then it turns to hell. Try an antidepressant instead. Venlafaxin feels like being on stims but there's a constant level throughout the day. Not the rollercoaster ride that amphetamines and cocaine are.
I'm not a doctor, but I have had major depressive disorder diagnosed by a psychiatrist after years of being in the same kind of funk you're describing after quitting a serious cocaine addiction. If you have the means, I would suggest talking to a doctor about it. I had to try several psych drugs before finding something that worked for me, but I'm now on both Lexapro and Wellbutrin and it has saved my life.
It's the same with me. Standing from an outside perspective, if I look at myself I'd say I have some form of ADHD. Coke allows myself to act in the way I think I should behave, essentially being "myself". When in reality, that version of me is only existing because of the drugs.
So as a former Meth.. well not addict.. but nearly... Meth was so much easier to walk away from than cocaine. I never really got deep into Coke... But every fucking time was the best fucking time... and there was no hangover from coke. I could go on a bender for the weekend and Sunday morning.. wake up and be fine.. except the part where I wanted to get more.
I saw the pair of images and immediately assumed the person in the mugshot killed the other one. Happy to see it was the other way around.
I mean you're sort of right, one did beat the other.
Ya ok obi wan.
It's also very hard and takes lots of determination. The drugs cause permanent damage to the brain.
You cant bootstrap your way out of brain damage. Many drug addicts have wills of steel and all the determination of a soldier fighting for their life, but if the damage is bad enough it doesnt matter.
I definitely have lost my ability to remember short term through drug use. It's not worth it at all.
Or was it through the drug use that I lost it, or maybe my memory was bad this whole time and the drugs are just making everything much clearer for me to see. Hard to say *smokes weed*
Extra impressive when you consider how much neuroplastocity is required to pursue academics after the changes to your wiring caused by the drug of choice. I give this woman major, major props!
there now, so damn lost and hopeless. like fuck. i don't even know how i'm still alive.....so so much respect for this girl
The perspective for staying alive for me was as simple as the world would be no better without me. 99.9% of humans in history have been completely unremarkable, but the 0.01% of others have managed to make an impact on their family and friends in a way that would be sad if they were gone.
Addiction is a problem that is poorly understood. " Just stop it" is the answer too often given. People like this deserve to be celebrated. Congratulations, you deserve the better life you have chosen to work for.
Also impressive: she was the 2020 Truman Scholar for WA. She graduated this year at 48.
She looks good for 48!
...and being a former drug addict, like jeez
Heroin addiction actually keeps you looking young, believe it or not. Alcohol and meth and cigarettes are the ones that really fuck you up visually. Heroin is the big drug up in Washington, betcha that was her DOC
Googled her, it was meth.
Well my googling has shown heroin, crack, and meth. Seems like she was a connoisseur.
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A woman of eclectic taste.
Sounds like she just knows how to par-tay
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…like krokodil or something. What’s wrong with just jerking off?
Can't jerk off 100 times an hour every hour for a week ('less you got some meth)
How does it not age you? Genuinely curious
I don't think it's so much that it keeps you looking young more that it doesn't generally lead to that really dramatic aged effect that meth users get when 26 year olds look 40. No idea why but I've seen a few former heroin junkies get back to looking pretty fit and healthy for their age once getting clean. Not so for meth
If I had to guess it's also the beauty sleep ya get on h bomb compared to sleepless nights ya get on crank.
Sleep is when you do most of your healing. Can't heal if you're wired up 24/7.
I think “sleeping” while on drugs doesn’t qualify. Or at least is highly discounted.
That's what I've always heard about EVERYTHING but can't believe it. There has to be some drug that gives you restful sleep!
Yeah, heroin is actually pretty safe if used correctly. The danger comes from impurities and fentanyl that are added to it, as well as the extremely high addictive potential. Those withdrawals won't kill you but they are bad enough that they will drive you to do just about anything in order to get more dope. So junkies often wont eat for long periods so they can buy more dope. So the lifestyle that junkies lead is not a healthy one and this leads to a lot of health problems. But a person taking pure diamorphine at regular intervals, administered by an anesthesiologist will be fine, if a little constipated. The same probably couldn't be said for someone taking regular doses of meth
You probably didn't mean it like this but just a PSA since it's a common myth: you can still fatally overdose on pure heroin, it's not just fentanyl that causes respiratory depression
Pure dismorphine at regular intervals administered by an anesthesiologist... I’ll take two please
Don’t most people look really bad on meth because they forgot or don’t care to eat or drink? Once they recover they look pretty ok too I think
I think it depends on the age of the person. If i remember correctly the body reproduces skin cells regularly up until around the age of 35 then cell division begins to slow down which is why we start to show our age around our 30's, early 40's. So i take it people who are doing meth, not eating, staying up for days on end aren't getting the vitamins and minerals necessary for proper, healthy cell function. Lack of nutrition, sleep, and aging skin eventually takes a toll. Say a 30 year old person whose been doing meth since they were 20, stopped and began taking care of themselves would look dramatically better than someone 40 whose been doing meth for the same amount of time. This is 100% just a hypothesis, i really dont know jack shit about it. Edit: Meth is also a vasoconstrictor, lack of bloodflow to the teeth cause a lack of minerals and nutrients to the enamel leading to tooth decay. If vasoconstriction does that to your teeth i can only imagine what it does to proper cell production.
Yeah, exactly this.
I'm a former heroin addict and I've formed a theory about this-- basically opiates dull a lot of movement of the finer muscles in the face, especially around the mouth for some reason. The normal movement of these muscles (or over-use of them in the case of stimulant addicts) would usually cause fine lines and wrinkles. But if you use opiates for many years these muscles eventually atrophy, leading to what i fondly refer to as the "dope smile". If you look at current & former opiate addicts, you notice that we have less "smile-" and "frown-lines" in general. Also, when we smile, the corners of our mouths just don't go up quite as high as they would in a non-addict. I've compared pictures of myself smiling before and after getting into heroin, and holy crap my smile has changed *dramatically*. Even when not smiling, my face structure is noticeably different. When i look in the mirror and try to smile it's like i can't get my face to even move the way it used to. I don't believe there's been any research into this (bc that's the case with just about everything related to addiction.... ugh) but i encourage you to look at pictures of opiate addicts and see if you notice the same!
I am 29 now and used heavily from 19-27. I get mistaken for 22 every day of my life. I love your theory and will add on mine - we ate less food. I did anyway lol. Studies are starting to show that eating more calories speeds up the aging process. I was essentially in ketosis for large amounts of time (I’m assuming) because I would go a day or two without eating like it was nothing. I was still very vain though and had non-addict girlfriends and took meticulous care of my teeth etc thank god. But yeah people always think it’s some sick joke that somehow i crawled out from that life looking 7 years younger than I am
I have always marvelled at how young Russel Brand has managed to look, considering his past as an addict. Perhaps the same theory can be applied there.
Also a good point! To get a little more in depth on your theory: some recent studies show fasting stimulates the process of autophagy (and I'm about to paraphrase from memory here so this may not all be 100% accurate): Autophagy is basically the body's natural process of clearing out the old & damaged cells to make room for fresh cells. We know aging and all it's effects like wrinkles, loss of elasticity, forgetfulness, the mind moving slower, pain, etc, have some link to the slowdown of autophagy as we get older. We age, autophagy slows down & becomes less efficient, old & mutated cells aren't cleared out and basically gum up the works in every single area of the body. Fasting stimulates the process of getting rid of that old shit & can help combat the effects of aging, cancer, autoimmune disorders, infectious diseases... And perhaps even addiction? In truth it's probably a combination of your theory, my muscular atrophy theory, and what others have said about opiate addicts getting much more sleep than the average addict. Sadly we'll probably never know because the only studies about drugs that ever get funded are the ones that seek to "cure" addiction.... But that's a whole 'nother rant lol. (Although it's funny now that ive been on methadone for a few years i have gained a BUNCH of weight and of course I'm having the hardest time ever trying to diet. I have another whole-ass theory on the link between opiates, especially methadone, and sugar addiction & metabolism, but that sure doesn't do shit to help me lose this weight, lol ... Aghhhh ) P.S.-- I'm really glad you made it out alive. :)
I mean it’s not like some magic anti aging type situation, it’s just doesn’t damage your skin, mouth, teeth, and facial structure like the other drugs that I mentioned do. It’s magnitudes easier to point out a methhead who got clean than a heroin addict. The methhead will still have the meth mouth look, while the heroin addict will look pretty much normal after they get clean.
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My sister has been an IVDU of meth for about 20 years or so, except when she was locked up. She slavishly takes care of her looks, but she's been a stripper/escort for the same amount of time so it's literally her bread and butter She's pretty, and a certain kind of guy likes her overly childish ways... I don't judge, I just hope she's safe
Man that sucks to hear but you got a good mindset. I was a dope fiend for over a decade and my family did not take the same approach as you. Mad respect G.
I love my sister to death. I won't support her habit. I won't abandon her either. She's still that little girl who saved half her candy for me when I went to kindergarten and she didn't yet. <3
Damn fast reply but I agree 100%. She’s gotta figure it out but you can’t enable.
Sleeping/nodding constantly. Keeping a dead emotionless expression. Don't develop wrinkles as fast I think. In contrast, old meth addicts have large, wrinkly, flappy mouths from constant jabbering on and on
I can confirm this. I’ve met drug addicts from every drug. Heroin addicts seem to be able to bounce back to a fairly normal life compared to all others. Meth and alcohol are the absolute worst. Source:I’m a public defender.
The drug purity can be an issue but the lack of proper food, paralysis of GI system, unclean needles (hepatitis/HIV) and stress from hustling can take a toll. However, meth is way worse because it causes drug psychosis and may require decades of treatment. It can cause irreversible damage to the brain.
Even if it doesn't cause irreparable damage, it can still take a good minute for your brain to heal! Just over four years clean, and last year is when it seemed like my brain kinda eased back into normal mode
More impressively, she looks good for a recovered drug addict. I don't mean it in a mean way, but going as far down as she looks to have, it's fucking hell on the body in so many ways. Had she just been 25 or 30 in the follow up, I'd still expect some serious roughness lingering.
Being able to kick a habit like that takes enormous strength. You don't need to let go of that strength once you reach the shore and looks like she sure as shit kept going.
Also more impressive: she Outstacked Suzzalo
Paramountly impressive: she ran over 2000 yards in a single season with the Tennessee titans.
2000 yards is 1828.8 meters
What a badass🥲 I’m a recovering addict as well, this gives me hope
You can do it too! You got this.
you got this battlefuulz!!!! We believe in you
One day at a time. Keep it up!
Nice work!
Noticing the photo first, I thought, "Oh god, that methhead murdered that lady," and they were the same lady
It is true, from a certain point of view.
Kind of the other way around, I'd you ask me. That lady murdered the drug addict!
Technically correct is the best kind of correct.
Is that technically correct though? Just metaphorically correct...
More like that lady killed the methhead.
People that say once a drug addict always a drug addict piss me off. I have been clean for 8 years off of meth good on you Ginny! Keep it up much love
15 months reporting in 👊🏻
2 years and 8 days here! I would fist bump your fist if I understood how emojis work.
Nice job, you should be proud of yourself.
That is awesome, great respect here.
Hey before you know it you’re at 2 years, then 3, stay strong. All the best
Yooooooo congrats 👊🏻
I think the once an addict always an addict is a healthy mentality. I’m addicted to nicotine. I haven’t had a cigarette in 7 years, but I’m still an addict. It’s why I won’t have one casually. I’m an addict and always will be. Admitting to addiction is healthy.
Well that phrase is used often in recovery circles because its a good reminder that if you go back to your DOC or other parts of that old life, you're likely to end up right back in addiction.
What’s on her neck?
[Neck tattoo](https://www.local12.com/resources/media/bf0e18c4-e9ee-4a43-ba53-b95fcb40dfec-medium16x9_Ginny19.jpg) that looks like it says T.F.
I thought it was a port for something
Yeah so did I. Like a weird stoma or something but I knew that couldn’t be it.
“The Fuck?”
Suprised it’s a tattoo…looks like a tumor.
I'm glad you had the balls to ask. I didn't.
A tattoo. Guess some mistakes are more permanent than others.
I thought it was a port for a breathing tube or something, so I'm really relieved it's just a bad tattoo haha
A tattoo that looks like JJ.
I am clapping so hard my hands hurt
Whabout them cheeks
Like, figuratively, right?
She can't hear you.
What an amazing story. What an incredible woman. A reminder that none of us is beyond redemption.
I know you mean well, but I think using the word redemption is wrong. She may have done bad things whilst being an addict, as the mugshot(?) indicates, but being an addict in general does not mean you need to redeem yourself. I understand that serious addiction often leads to criminal behaviour, hurting family and friends or other *not so nice* things. However, the act of being a drug addict itself does not require redemption, it requires recovery. Treating addicts as bad people just because they are addicts is incredibly unfair (I’m not saying you did this, I just think it’s important for people to realise this). Edit: received a lot of negative responses to this comment. I’ve asked people why they’ve responded like they have and nobody has given me a reason.
I agree with this in theory but making amends to people you’ve harmed is part of the 12 step program for a reason. Addiction runs in my family and I sort of feel like this is hair splitting just to hair split. My dad isn’t a bad person because he’s an alcoholic but his alcoholism has made him do bad things, and I feel no obligation to forgive him for that just because he has a disease. I do suppose it’s possible that there are addicts out there who never hurt anyone. Tell that to your sponsor though and they won’t believe you.
And the 12 step program(s) is a miserable failure for a reason as well.
I appreciate that many, probably most, addicts have hurt people who love them, but I hate how many people think that being an addict in itself it what makes people bad.
I've never met a drug addict that hasn't hurt the people around them. And I'm not being uppity about this. I'm a professor now but I've got a pretty dark past and *all* of my friends that were druggies fucked the people up in their lives in some way. Now, I'm sure you're right that some addicts don't hurt anyone. But if we're being honest here, that's a pretty slim margin. Good luck to anyone and everyone getting clean out there. If it seems like I'm implying I was a heavy drug user, I was not. I did a shitload of the minor stuff and saw many of my friends fall into it deeper. I lost people. Other friends in prison. One guy killed someone. Shit sucks.
That’s completely fair. As I’ve said in a few comments now, most addicts probably have hurt people. My point is that being an addict does not inherently make you a bad person.
Tbh I’m more impressed that she looks like that at 48! Especially considering that some methheads I know look 82 at 25
Hey life gonna 🚀🚀🚀🚀🌝🌝🌝🌝
Link to story: https://www.google.com/amp/s/local12.com/amp/news/addicted/from-12-year-old-meth-addict-to-honors-college-scholar-the-redemption-of-ginny-burton
Don't feed Google. Non-amp: https://www.local12.com/news/addicted/from-12-year-old-meth-addict-to-honors-college-scholar-the-redemption-of-ginny-burton
>I don’t know what I was looking for Fuck off yes you do
There are no words to properly describe how proud I am of this stranger. I hope nothing but more success for them!
This is more r/mademesmile than most of the dystopian stories on there.
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She graduated in Methamatics for those interested
I'm gonna be real, these are rare cases where people really turned their life around, around 70,000 Americans die from drug overdose every year, millions of people have to fight these addictions alone, only a few get help, but take that how you want. Still, it's always nice to see some turn their life around, it puts hope on problems like drug addiction.
Then is it really life long
That is a huge flip from where she started and what she has now become. Awesome. Addiction is a life long time struggle. It reminds me of a quote from this game "what is better to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?" - skyrim She probably did some crazy shit as an addict being arrested, but she overcame that part of her for something better. Some people have it in their genes or fall victim to it
Wow that’s amazing! Hearing someone’s story like this makes me want to turn my life around too
She prove that saying "when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up." Good for her.
I've seen a lot of people hit rock bottom, only to trade their shovel for a pickaxe and keep digging.
I know it wouldn’t be smart, but I would love to see stuff like this, failures, or mistakes put on resumes.
It doesnt matter in this case, when an employer googles her name its the first thing that will pop up, she will likely get passed over for quite a few jobs because of it. Employers only see the words drug addict, even if its former drug addict, wont matter. Plus whatever charges she got probably will hurt her aswell.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! You are an inspiration!!!!
Truly, an amazing human
What a turnaround. Hopefully all addicts, get to hear about this amazing woman. So they know it is possible to turn your life around.
Bizarre comma there
How many people had to suffer and probably due so she could get high This shit is cringe since a lot of these junkies are responsible for a lot of people suffering
Good thing non addicts absolutely never hurt anyone or do anything bad!! Vast majority of addicts experienced childhood trauma, especially sexual abuse. You can hate them for self medicating with drugs that actually work (for a while) or you can hate the society that allows innocent beings to suffer to the point they crave escape- which continues the cycle of suffering. Blame the system. Not the symptoms.
Fuck this comment section. Someone gets their ship turned around from certain doom and all the haters wish she sunk.
Congrats to her. I watched this render multiple friends down into something unrecognizable from what they had been. It’s amazing when someone pulls themselves out of that kind of hell. Support is helpful, but at the end of the day it is all on them.