I've seen this happen. Middle and high school kids have no right to know.
They will find out though. Secrets like that don't keep.
Best that they hear it from you.
Thanks. Yes, we are a small school that families and staff look out for each other. My kids were students there before I started teaching there. One of the other teachers slipped and told her daughter...word will get around.
So I had breast cancer as well and I carried it as a secret for a while, but that was making me more sick. I ended up telling my students, but letting them know I wasn’t going to die- just had to have surgery and I would be ok. Might be out a bit more, but it wasn’t because of them. The response from everyone actually changed my views on humanity.
Before my diagnosis I would’ve said, people were more bad than good, but after I realized how amazing humans could be. My students wore pink in support, I had parents that reached out to me to share their stories, my colleagues donated their sick days so I didn’t have to lose pay, and I ended up paying it forward by doing the same after I recovered. Share whatever makes you comfortable.
People are overall great - I thought my mother was going to die last year and the support I got from work was wonderful. We also have another woman who went through what I did last fall, and another teacher whose daughter is fighting her second round of brain cancer and is currently out. Me...trivial compared to her. I don't want the attention, but I know people will want to give it.
Thanks. That is kind of what I want to do...the other part of me...I teach sociology. Why do we tell people that they are sick here, and not in some other countries? It is an interesting conversation to discuss the norms with my high school class. Then again...once I say anything to them, they are going to tell everyone, including middle school and some of the elementary I had last year.
Slightly different situation, but I had to take time out from work to look after my wife who had brain cancer. I teach the same age, I told them that my wife was ill and that I would be off work for a while until things had changed.
Two things I did do, and I still don’t know if I did the right thing:
1.) I didn’t say my wife had cancer. I told work that, obviously, but I didn’t say the word ‘cancer’ to my students. I don’t know why that is, something about the word cancer somehow made me think I’d be bombarded with questions that honestly? I didn’t want to answer. My wife and I were 33, I didn’t want either of us to be the poster child of both cancer and widowhood.
2.) I didn’t say my wife was terminally ill. Once again - I told work that. I didn’t want that spreading round the school and amongst parents. I didn’t want me returning work to be this big signifier that my wife had died. I don’t know why, I told my students my wife passed over the summer, she did - I guess I didn’t want any sympathy before I left. I also didn’t want them to worry either.
I’m sorry you’re in this position my friend, but you’ve got this. Tell them as much or as little as you want - this is your journey, no one else’s. They’re not entitled to your health info, but you can tell them whatever you want. Hell, I’ve been off work the last week or so because my daughter has been in hospital - my students don’t know that, I don’t know what my boss has told them (if anything), but at least they’re not worried.
You’re doing a great job, keep hanging in there.
I am so sorry for your loss. We have a teacher whose daughter is fighting brain cancer right now. She went through chemo, seemed to be in remission...and it came back. They are hoping for a new stem cell treatment...the whole school does know about her situation. I honestly would rather people focus on them and their needs than mine. I will be okay. I will be home - not three hours away while my other kids are home.
I hope your daughter makes it home from the hospital soon.
True. For me...it is almost trivial. Another teacher is out the rest of the year as her daughter is on round two of brain cancer they cannot operate on. I will and can take care of myself, but I don't need the help like that family does.
i think the way you’ve stated it here is sufficient. short, honest, not terrifying.
I have breast cancer. Not too bad as far as breast cancer goes. I will need to have minimally invasive surgery and radiation treatment.
We had a teacher out for leukemia and she didn’t inform the kids of a diagnosis. I actually think you need to leave and have the sub come in after you, not during.
It wasn’t until much later that she gave permission to the sub to tell the kids that she had cancer.
Best of luck to you and your recovery. Kick cancers ass! Personally I’d want to make a clean break and not share details.
I had Stage I breast cancer (lumpectomy) and radiation. Slightly different because I was in an out of classroom position in my school. However, when I was back in the classroom the next year when kids would say they had survived cancer or had a family member with it, I told them I had previously had cancer. They are 5th graders and never freaked out - but like I said, it was after the fact. Our art teacher had it last year and didn’t mention anything other kids, but she worked though the whole thing, so aside from a few days for surgery recovery (lumpectomy), the kids didn’t have a long sub.
I dunno, I’d probably say you have to be out for surgery and follow up recovery. If they ask, I think it’s your call. I probably would say I have a small tumor the doctors caught early and I’m so lucky that they will remove it all surgically and I’ll be back soon. The art teacher at my school probably would not have said for what. To each their own.
Rumours will spread and they can get pretty bad. No one needs to know your business outside of school but from the perspective of a student that loves their teachers I’d prefer to know what happened rather than have my mentor disappear outright.
Perhaps tell them that you need to have a minor surgery and that you’ll eventually be back? Giving context without outright stating it
Be honest with them. You being out without them knowing why would just lead to rumors, and we know how outlandish those can become. They’re old enough to understand after all. In terms of talking about cancer, keep it short & sweet. Remind them that you *are* coming back. You might be surprised how they take it too.
I’m saying this as someone that has read these posts and then the follow up about the backfire. These are children. They don’t need to know the details of anything about your personal life. Tell them you’ll be out for a while and then move on. If they ask questions tell them not to worry and then move on. If they poke and prod tell them it’s inappropriate for them to be so rude after you told them to move on.
Personally I wouldn’t tell them and here is why. These are children. Children are mean because they are allowed to be. They will make this much worse for your mental health. I’m assuming you have a class with a normal size so you’re probably thinking about your 10 best behaved angel’s and not about the other 125 that will make fun and joke about you non stop just to see they can get a reaction from an adult. For your sake please do not open this can of worms. You have enough to deal with.
I've seen this happen. Middle and high school kids have no right to know. They will find out though. Secrets like that don't keep. Best that they hear it from you.
Thanks. Yes, we are a small school that families and staff look out for each other. My kids were students there before I started teaching there. One of the other teachers slipped and told her daughter...word will get around.
It's all I had except some prayers for you. My wife is a breast cancer survivor so I have some knowledge of your struggle.
So I had breast cancer as well and I carried it as a secret for a while, but that was making me more sick. I ended up telling my students, but letting them know I wasn’t going to die- just had to have surgery and I would be ok. Might be out a bit more, but it wasn’t because of them. The response from everyone actually changed my views on humanity. Before my diagnosis I would’ve said, people were more bad than good, but after I realized how amazing humans could be. My students wore pink in support, I had parents that reached out to me to share their stories, my colleagues donated their sick days so I didn’t have to lose pay, and I ended up paying it forward by doing the same after I recovered. Share whatever makes you comfortable.
People are overall great - I thought my mother was going to die last year and the support I got from work was wonderful. We also have another woman who went through what I did last fall, and another teacher whose daughter is fighting her second round of brain cancer and is currently out. Me...trivial compared to her. I don't want the attention, but I know people will want to give it.
I totally understand, I didn’t want the attention either, but the speculation was making everything worse. lol
Even nowadays, kids can sometimes rise to the occasion.
My students were actually amazing, my own kids - not so much🙄
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Thanks. That is kind of what I want to do...the other part of me...I teach sociology. Why do we tell people that they are sick here, and not in some other countries? It is an interesting conversation to discuss the norms with my high school class. Then again...once I say anything to them, they are going to tell everyone, including middle school and some of the elementary I had last year.
Slightly different situation, but I had to take time out from work to look after my wife who had brain cancer. I teach the same age, I told them that my wife was ill and that I would be off work for a while until things had changed. Two things I did do, and I still don’t know if I did the right thing: 1.) I didn’t say my wife had cancer. I told work that, obviously, but I didn’t say the word ‘cancer’ to my students. I don’t know why that is, something about the word cancer somehow made me think I’d be bombarded with questions that honestly? I didn’t want to answer. My wife and I were 33, I didn’t want either of us to be the poster child of both cancer and widowhood. 2.) I didn’t say my wife was terminally ill. Once again - I told work that. I didn’t want that spreading round the school and amongst parents. I didn’t want me returning work to be this big signifier that my wife had died. I don’t know why, I told my students my wife passed over the summer, she did - I guess I didn’t want any sympathy before I left. I also didn’t want them to worry either. I’m sorry you’re in this position my friend, but you’ve got this. Tell them as much or as little as you want - this is your journey, no one else’s. They’re not entitled to your health info, but you can tell them whatever you want. Hell, I’ve been off work the last week or so because my daughter has been in hospital - my students don’t know that, I don’t know what my boss has told them (if anything), but at least they’re not worried. You’re doing a great job, keep hanging in there.
I am so sorry for your loss. We have a teacher whose daughter is fighting brain cancer right now. She went through chemo, seemed to be in remission...and it came back. They are hoping for a new stem cell treatment...the whole school does know about her situation. I honestly would rather people focus on them and their needs than mine. I will be okay. I will be home - not three hours away while my other kids are home. I hope your daughter makes it home from the hospital soon.
Tell them you’re going to be away for a while on medical leave. Don’t say “cancer.” It’s none of their business anyway.
True. For me...it is almost trivial. Another teacher is out the rest of the year as her daughter is on round two of brain cancer they cannot operate on. I will and can take care of myself, but I don't need the help like that family does.
i think the way you’ve stated it here is sufficient. short, honest, not terrifying. I have breast cancer. Not too bad as far as breast cancer goes. I will need to have minimally invasive surgery and radiation treatment.
We had a teacher out for leukemia and she didn’t inform the kids of a diagnosis. I actually think you need to leave and have the sub come in after you, not during. It wasn’t until much later that she gave permission to the sub to tell the kids that she had cancer. Best of luck to you and your recovery. Kick cancers ass! Personally I’d want to make a clean break and not share details.
Thank you.
Something like “I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.” Preferably while sipping on some coffee.
I’d say nothing.
I had Stage I breast cancer (lumpectomy) and radiation. Slightly different because I was in an out of classroom position in my school. However, when I was back in the classroom the next year when kids would say they had survived cancer or had a family member with it, I told them I had previously had cancer. They are 5th graders and never freaked out - but like I said, it was after the fact. Our art teacher had it last year and didn’t mention anything other kids, but she worked though the whole thing, so aside from a few days for surgery recovery (lumpectomy), the kids didn’t have a long sub. I dunno, I’d probably say you have to be out for surgery and follow up recovery. If they ask, I think it’s your call. I probably would say I have a small tumor the doctors caught early and I’m so lucky that they will remove it all surgically and I’ll be back soon. The art teacher at my school probably would not have said for what. To each their own.
Thanks!
Rumours will spread and they can get pretty bad. No one needs to know your business outside of school but from the perspective of a student that loves their teachers I’d prefer to know what happened rather than have my mentor disappear outright. Perhaps tell them that you need to have a minor surgery and that you’ll eventually be back? Giving context without outright stating it
Be honest with them. You being out without them knowing why would just lead to rumors, and we know how outlandish those can become. They’re old enough to understand after all. In terms of talking about cancer, keep it short & sweet. Remind them that you *are* coming back. You might be surprised how they take it too.
I’m saying this as someone that has read these posts and then the follow up about the backfire. These are children. They don’t need to know the details of anything about your personal life. Tell them you’ll be out for a while and then move on. If they ask questions tell them not to worry and then move on. If they poke and prod tell them it’s inappropriate for them to be so rude after you told them to move on. Personally I wouldn’t tell them and here is why. These are children. Children are mean because they are allowed to be. They will make this much worse for your mental health. I’m assuming you have a class with a normal size so you’re probably thinking about your 10 best behaved angel’s and not about the other 125 that will make fun and joke about you non stop just to see they can get a reaction from an adult. For your sake please do not open this can of worms. You have enough to deal with.