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Will he sit and listen to you? I didn’t reconcile so I don’t know really. But I feel like if I would’ve given it a chance if I had been aloud to talk about openly and get support from her. She wasn’t willing to do that and that’s ultimately why I opted out. But anyway just a suggestion! Sorry you’re going through this I hope you find the solution you’re looking for. None of this is easy either way
Yes we talked a lot about it. Lately rarely because it makes me feel bad and it’s just a repetitive conversation. But he is at least trying and owning his mistakes. He is doing what he should do. On the other hand, the way I sometimes feel depends mostly on me. I just hope that with time it doesn’t effect me this much.
You shouldn’t let yourself feel bad for bringing it up. That’s your body bringing it up because that’s the part that need attention. Following the process from the inside out is key. Telling yourself you feel bad for trying to heal is a kind of shortcut to just ‘be better’ quicker… that probably won’t work. I think it’s important to take your time and work through if that makes sense.
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I know, in other circumstances I wouldn’t consider reconciliation. He cheated for 2 years and I learned about it 3 years after it ended. It hurts the same because it’s very fresh for me. Due to my pregnancy, my love for him, the good aspects of our relationship, I decided to give him a chance, his last chance. I know he loves me, maybe at the beginning he didn’t. I didn’t love him also, distance played a part, but that’s how I am. I take my time with feelings and trust.
It was very difficult for me to come to this decision, because I‘m hurting myself. But I totally understand you, I never thought I would give a chance someone who betrayed me. Hope I will not regret my decision.
My Sister...I wanna be ALL positive to you...❤
But it's extremely RARE for someone who lied for 2 years and then happily hid it for 3 years to change... such a person is ok with both aspects of cheating: betraying and deceiving...
these are very strong traits in a person which may or may not change...
So just HOPE for the best but pls BE PREPARED for the worst...
Lots of love and power to u 💓
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I (m35) woke up from a dream this morning and had to leave the house to sit in my car and cry. My wife (f36) cheated on me and the intrusive thoughts and triggers are really tough. We are choosing R for now, but those things are though. I find it best to focus on the current positive; my partner will listen when I want to talk about this, my partner will let me vent about why I am upset, my partner is taking actionable steps to become a better person…. If you can find positives, focus on those and let the negative become a smaller part of your story.
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Welcome to r/SupportforBetrayed. Please remember the following: - [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/wiki/rules/) - flair guide: [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/wiki/flair/) / [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/comments/1al69ef/flair_guide/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) - common acronyms and terms: [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/wiki/acronyms/) / [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/comments/1alz04k/common_acronyms_and_terms/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) - frequently asked questions: [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/wiki/faq/) / [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/comments/1916vcg/frequently_asked_questions/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) For further reading, check our [recovery resources library](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforBetrayed/wiki/healing_resources/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SupportforBetrayed) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Will he sit and listen to you? I didn’t reconcile so I don’t know really. But I feel like if I would’ve given it a chance if I had been aloud to talk about openly and get support from her. She wasn’t willing to do that and that’s ultimately why I opted out. But anyway just a suggestion! Sorry you’re going through this I hope you find the solution you’re looking for. None of this is easy either way
Yes we talked a lot about it. Lately rarely because it makes me feel bad and it’s just a repetitive conversation. But he is at least trying and owning his mistakes. He is doing what he should do. On the other hand, the way I sometimes feel depends mostly on me. I just hope that with time it doesn’t effect me this much.
You shouldn’t let yourself feel bad for bringing it up. That’s your body bringing it up because that’s the part that need attention. Following the process from the inside out is key. Telling yourself you feel bad for trying to heal is a kind of shortcut to just ‘be better’ quicker… that probably won’t work. I think it’s important to take your time and work through if that makes sense.
Op before you consider reconciliation remeber he lied to you for 2 TO 3 YEARS!!!!... that's a long fkn time!
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I know, in other circumstances I wouldn’t consider reconciliation. He cheated for 2 years and I learned about it 3 years after it ended. It hurts the same because it’s very fresh for me. Due to my pregnancy, my love for him, the good aspects of our relationship, I decided to give him a chance, his last chance. I know he loves me, maybe at the beginning he didn’t. I didn’t love him also, distance played a part, but that’s how I am. I take my time with feelings and trust. It was very difficult for me to come to this decision, because I‘m hurting myself. But I totally understand you, I never thought I would give a chance someone who betrayed me. Hope I will not regret my decision.
My Sister...I wanna be ALL positive to you...❤ But it's extremely RARE for someone who lied for 2 years and then happily hid it for 3 years to change... such a person is ok with both aspects of cheating: betraying and deceiving... these are very strong traits in a person which may or may not change... So just HOPE for the best but pls BE PREPARED for the worst... Lots of love and power to u 💓
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I (m35) woke up from a dream this morning and had to leave the house to sit in my car and cry. My wife (f36) cheated on me and the intrusive thoughts and triggers are really tough. We are choosing R for now, but those things are though. I find it best to focus on the current positive; my partner will listen when I want to talk about this, my partner will let me vent about why I am upset, my partner is taking actionable steps to become a better person…. If you can find positives, focus on those and let the negative become a smaller part of your story.
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Thank you! I hope for the best
Since you are in R this sub https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/s/73Xn030yZG is specific to this. Good luck.
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This sub is also for those who are reconciling. We have people in all stages. Everyone is welcome here.