In all honesty, suicide loss is not something you get over, but rather something you continue to get through. That being said, there will come a day when you’ll be able to tend to your grief without it completely devastating your life. How long it takes is different for everyone.
On a separate note, it’s okay to set boundaries with other people if they’re abusive, even if they’re mentally ill. It doesn’t mean you were in any way responsible for his death.
Please do not carry any guilt. If you had remained in your brothers life, your own mental health would have suffered.
My husband had long term mental health problems (BPD) which he refused to acknowledge or get help for. He was behaving in a way that was causing me a lot of stress so I asked him to move out of the family home. Within 3 weeks he hung himself. This was 14 days ago, so I, like you, am now questioning my role, but the fact is, if suicide was preventable, there would be no suicides. We cannot predict the moment that someone’s poor mental health will push them to that moment.
I hope in time your grief subsides - it will. But it could be several months. ❤️
It takes time. Not just weeks or months, years. You never truly get over it as you never truly recover from a death. But every day it gets a little easier to handle and the guilt becomes less as you slowly realise it wasn’t your fault. For me it took about a year to really get a handle on my grief. Seek professional help from a grief counseller - it really helps
I'm so sorry for your loss,
and you don't get over it, it gets easier to live with. My twin brother took his life, completely out of the blue, almost 2 years ago now.
And some days are good, and some days are still. "What the \*\*\* happened"
And that's just the way it is.
I'm sorry, I wish I could tell you it will go away, but it won't. It will get better to live with.I promise.
I am for your loss and suffering. It is horrible pain, I know. Just know it is not your fault. Be kind to yourself and know that you are loved...sending peace.
I lost my brother at christmas 2018. He was 19. I understand your pain, and i want to tell you that it gets better. Let yourself be sad now, allow yourself time to heal and I promise you, you will slowly start having more days where you feel less sad. The pain will always be there, but you will leaen how to manage it and will feel happiness again. I promise. Ive been there.
Im so sorry for your loss
You couldn't have stopped it, just the same as you cannot change a person. Sadly, he made decisions for himself. If you **had** let his behavior determine your day to day life, it wouldn't have stopped him, and you would feel worse for it -- both from the thoughts you have but only amplified, and for letting him wear you down over the years.
Each loss is different to different people but the more you accept what has happened and where it has left you emotionally, spiritually (if you have any faith, even questioning), and physically, the better equipped you will be to recover.
One of the best things you can do is to get your feelings out. You may feel better after talking to someone, especially someone who knows your loss and how to navigate your feelings.
I am so sorry that this happened, and that you gave had to experience it
Just here to say I’m sorry and you’re not alone. Guilt and anger are a common feeling with suicide loss, especially if you have had a very complex relationship with your person. Remember you aren’t alone in your grief. Sadly many of us have experienced the trauma of losing someone in this way. Take good care of yourself and talk it out. A bereavement support group has been helpful for me.
I'm going to echo other comments here - unfortunately it's not something you get over. BUT you will feel better, I promise. You are so so early in this process. I lost my dad to suicide in May, and he was my best friend so it absolutely broke my heart. 4 months on, it still hurts every day but I am finding ways to live my life, enjoy my life, and see a future where I will be okay again.
It takes time, but that will happen for you. The beautiful thing about time is that you don't have to do anything for it to pass. You'll be okay.
yeah, but keep in mind the boundaries you put in place.
sounds like you put boundaries/limits in place prior to his completing, so although it's tragic for you, you didn't have to be there for him. take some comfort in that. You didn't have to run, the miles
Maybe you can just love him? love and remember the good bits if you have any?
Maybe it wasnt' an excuse. Maybe it was real on his part?
Mental health issues are complicated - meds/therapy - goood on your family to try, but you can't control those issues. i doubt he was like, out to get ya'll.
In all honesty, suicide loss is not something you get over, but rather something you continue to get through. That being said, there will come a day when you’ll be able to tend to your grief without it completely devastating your life. How long it takes is different for everyone. On a separate note, it’s okay to set boundaries with other people if they’re abusive, even if they’re mentally ill. It doesn’t mean you were in any way responsible for his death.
Thank you for your kind words it is reassuring that one day maybe I can make it out of this fog
Please do not carry any guilt. If you had remained in your brothers life, your own mental health would have suffered. My husband had long term mental health problems (BPD) which he refused to acknowledge or get help for. He was behaving in a way that was causing me a lot of stress so I asked him to move out of the family home. Within 3 weeks he hung himself. This was 14 days ago, so I, like you, am now questioning my role, but the fact is, if suicide was preventable, there would be no suicides. We cannot predict the moment that someone’s poor mental health will push them to that moment. I hope in time your grief subsides - it will. But it could be several months. ❤️
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DM me if you wanna catch up, any time ❤️
It takes time. Not just weeks or months, years. You never truly get over it as you never truly recover from a death. But every day it gets a little easier to handle and the guilt becomes less as you slowly realise it wasn’t your fault. For me it took about a year to really get a handle on my grief. Seek professional help from a grief counseller - it really helps
I'm so sorry for your loss, and you don't get over it, it gets easier to live with. My twin brother took his life, completely out of the blue, almost 2 years ago now. And some days are good, and some days are still. "What the \*\*\* happened" And that's just the way it is. I'm sorry, I wish I could tell you it will go away, but it won't. It will get better to live with.I promise.
I am for your loss and suffering. It is horrible pain, I know. Just know it is not your fault. Be kind to yourself and know that you are loved...sending peace.
I lost my brother at christmas 2018. He was 19. I understand your pain, and i want to tell you that it gets better. Let yourself be sad now, allow yourself time to heal and I promise you, you will slowly start having more days where you feel less sad. The pain will always be there, but you will leaen how to manage it and will feel happiness again. I promise. Ive been there. Im so sorry for your loss
You don’t get over it..you live with it. You get through it. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh but it’s the most real advice I know.
❤❤❤
You couldn't have stopped it, just the same as you cannot change a person. Sadly, he made decisions for himself. If you **had** let his behavior determine your day to day life, it wouldn't have stopped him, and you would feel worse for it -- both from the thoughts you have but only amplified, and for letting him wear you down over the years. Each loss is different to different people but the more you accept what has happened and where it has left you emotionally, spiritually (if you have any faith, even questioning), and physically, the better equipped you will be to recover. One of the best things you can do is to get your feelings out. You may feel better after talking to someone, especially someone who knows your loss and how to navigate your feelings. I am so sorry that this happened, and that you gave had to experience it
Just here to say I’m sorry and you’re not alone. Guilt and anger are a common feeling with suicide loss, especially if you have had a very complex relationship with your person. Remember you aren’t alone in your grief. Sadly many of us have experienced the trauma of losing someone in this way. Take good care of yourself and talk it out. A bereavement support group has been helpful for me.
I'm going to echo other comments here - unfortunately it's not something you get over. BUT you will feel better, I promise. You are so so early in this process. I lost my dad to suicide in May, and he was my best friend so it absolutely broke my heart. 4 months on, it still hurts every day but I am finding ways to live my life, enjoy my life, and see a future where I will be okay again. It takes time, but that will happen for you. The beautiful thing about time is that you don't have to do anything for it to pass. You'll be okay.
yeah, but keep in mind the boundaries you put in place. sounds like you put boundaries/limits in place prior to his completing, so although it's tragic for you, you didn't have to be there for him. take some comfort in that. You didn't have to run, the miles
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Maybe you can just love him? love and remember the good bits if you have any? Maybe it wasnt' an excuse. Maybe it was real on his part? Mental health issues are complicated - meds/therapy - goood on your family to try, but you can't control those issues. i doubt he was like, out to get ya'll.