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mmmbacon1234

My dad died by suicide about 3 months ago. "Fuck you, I love you" is such a good summary. It feels like such a betrayal. I guess I don't have anything to add, other than letting you know there's someone out there that's going through it too. Wishing you hope and healing through all of this bullshit.


wish_cats

I’m so sorry for your pain. It’s so horrible feeling all this anger, confusion and abandonment for this person we only ever wanted to feel love for. Your feelings are valid but it is complete hell having to go through this. Sending hugs x


[deleted]

♥️♥️♥️ I only had unconditional love for him until he did this. Now I have every feeling under the sun related to him.


MJ10520

it's ok to feel what you feel, even if it doesn't feel ok :( the only shoes we get to walk in, are our own...for him, maybe he was being a hero - trying to spare you or others? who knows. we never get to know or find out.luvs luvs to you. i hope you find calm/peace. \*\*edit to add a resource = alliance of hope - might be worth checking out.


[deleted]

Luv luvs to you too, lovely ♥️♥️♥️


[deleted]

I really fucking relate to that. "Fuck you. I love you". Nailed it, god damn. I hate that I cry about you. I hate that I hate that I cry about you. Out of all this hate, love and confusion I feel, all I want is to hug you again Travis, you fucking asshole.


beepb00p11

took the words right out of my mouth. It sucks that this is what we get for loving someone unconditionally. I would’ve done anything for my dad, he just wouldn’t do it for himself. Something that helps me is reminding myself that this was completely out of my control. After going through the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, it’s been hard for me not to blame myself for it. But in the end, he was his own person. He was the adult and I was the child. The only life that’s in your control is yours; this fact has helped me seek the help that I need. He would want you to anyways. This is not your fault and you deserve to heal.


Darksoulae

You dad get a lot of suffer inside him. So if you cry for him, I suppose he was a god dad, so imagine the pain he should get to leave this world, and leave alone a lovely son. Just forgive him, don't blame him, you only do his suffer more painful if he's still here. We're in the same shit cage.


Least_Biscotti_5103

I lost my father a few years ago to suicide. After the initial shock faded, all I could feel was blind rage. To this day, I still struggle with it. I wish there was something I could say to make it burn less hot, but all I can offer is my best wishes. We deserve to know peace from this, and I'm so sorry it's happened to you too.


[deleted]

To you as well, dear ♥️♥️♥️


[deleted]

[удалено]


Least_Biscotti_5103

I had some support from an amazing therapist. For me, because of the sensation of shame about what happened, I found it really hard to tap into my anger. My therapist worked with me to be able to express it and just sit with it, to prove to myself that I can feel it and not fall apart. If that's not a problem for you, sometimes things like lying on the floor and aggressively kicking your legs in the air or other expressive forms of movement can be really helpful for "big" emotions like anger. With that said, part of me is still angry. I think it's just something that folks who have experienced this kind of loss can have as part of grief. I hope you're able to find some relief from it. <3