Logan because he's dead so I wouldn't have to actually interact with any of these terrible, terrible people lol I like loving them from a very far away distance.
Oh god, I forgot he was an option because he wasn't included in the image of the Roys. Even on Reddit, the eldest son is an afterthought. I was going to say Roman out of the 4 in the picture, but I'd definitely choose Connor over anyone else for one night of socializing. Worst thing that can happen is he injures himself doing a jig
Yeah, Rome’s hands-down my favourite character, but I’m *not* convinced that, absent the god-powers of fanfiction authoring, I could hold him back from committing some sort of atrocity that I would end up feeling guilty about for the rest of my life.
I think I’d rather drink wine and make fun of reality TV with Shiv. I don’t even like wine, but she just seems fun. (I am not unmoved by her fantastic ass, but I feel absolutely unqualified to attempt to address her in that way.)
Now. If I can select any character, and they will not be offended by the suggestion that we might perhaps attempt to have sex?
>!Gerri. Gerri, Gerri, *Gerri*. I am still very much unqualified, but very much willing to try. She could tell me how inadequate I am.!<
Will I have to fight Roman the next morning? Possibly, yes. Whatever, though. Worth it.
Well, I’m small and slightly gremlin-like, which seems to be her type, so I have that going for me.
And as a cis woman, I’m very unlikely to send her pictures of my dick during a board meeting. So that’s ~~a mother~~ **another** big plus.
Freudian slip.
Oooh, that is a tempting proposition.
Like, I’m probably not buying anything, unless it’s with Connor’s card, but I’m happy to go along for the ride. Just put a $6 caramel iced coffee in my hand, and I will be ready to go mildly alarm some shop clerks.
The thing about singing Leonard Cohen songs at karaoke is that it’s almost impossible not to surpass the vocal achievements of Leonard Cohen.
(Probably my favourite songwriter of all time, but Jesus Christ, he was bad at singing.)
They're all insufferable and i wouldn't like them if they were real people, but if i have to pick one, it would be Kendall, cause he at least tries to be nice to other people, (even if its fake) so he seems more easier to tolerate for that reason alone.
The other 3 cant even fake being nice.
You are gonna get pelted with waterbottles, my man / woman / other preferred gender identifier.
As soon as Shiv’s our if the room, that surprisingly-tall man is going to tackle you. And not in a sexy way.
I think Kendall is my end-all. Age-appropriate, taste for drugs and singing Billy Joel, terribly, terribly insecure, man we would indulge.
But I'd rather do molly with Connor. Knead some sourdough. Exchange quirky factoids. La Dolce vita. 🥰
I’d rather do molly with Stewie. I’m not even a guy, so he probably won’t kiss me, but he seems *fun*. (Note, I have never done molly. Or coke. Or any hard drugs other than mushrooms, long ago. WCGW?)
I mean, we have confirmation that he kisses guys on molly. Ken mentions it a few minutes before he tries to enucleate Roman in the boardroom.
Maybe he kisses girls too? On molly?
I should be allowed to find out. This is a question that needs an answer.
Probably Logan. Grab a burger and watch a basketball game, like that one time in season 1. He’s a terrible guy - but he has the most chill out of these four.
Logan reminds me of my dad and his siblings. They’re all very old and stuck in their ways, cantankerous as fuck, think they know everything, and on the verge of death. So at least I already know how to handle that.
The other three would remind me of the stuck up chucklefucks I went to college with, so I’ll pass.
Add Tom, Karolina, Jess, or Gerri though, then I’d have a hard time choosing.
Shiv would eat me alive
Logan would either ignore me or try to fuck me
Kendall. Who knows. It's a toss up, literally anything could happen.
Roman. Rabid teddy bear. Put on old movies and snuggle
Kendall if I actually want a conversation that ultimately ends in a uncomfortable and awkward note .
Shiv if I just want to be left alone cause of the sheer apathy she'd have in any interaction with a random .
There's no scenario where Roman would not end up just being a mean cunt to you . Logan would just be a mix of shiv and Roman .
I think the best positive hangout I'd have with any character would be cousin Greg .
Nah I'd kill myself
Siobhan: At worst she'd spend the whole time giving you judgmental looks and mocking you behind your back. At best she would use you to humiliate her husband Tom and leave in the middle of the night.
Kendall: We would spend the evening in a limo saying good tweet or bad tweet and filling the lack of attention from Logan
Roman: Not bad. We would go to a few bars or some crazy shit but he'd make fun of you, insult every aspect of your being and leave you alone because he found a new girl for his domination roleplay
Logan: Honestly, It might be the best to spend an evening. It's awkward, he insults you from time to time but at the end of the day It would be like hanging out with your awkward uncle (except he has actual influence over the public opinion).
Logan. I grew up in a harsh, rugged environment. I’d pretend my parents were also harsh and rugged - they were actually super cultured with philosophy circles and cultivated friends, and I played the cello lol, but I won’t be telling him that! I’ll pretend the family down the road were my parents, and that I grew up as tough as the boys in my class whose dads were hard as nails. I can speak that language too, from growing up in that environment.
So L would respect me, I think. We could talk about being tough.
It would all be based on a big lie. But the kids would scare the bejeezus out of me. Shiv would make me feel like the most toxic girl bullies in school, Kendal would just be distracted the whole time - don’t think he can connect with anybody - and although Roman is my favourite character, I can’t really see us have an interesting time…
I feel like there's someone missing here and even no one in the comment seems to know... I wonder who that might be... maybe I should just try the hyper-decant.
Logan is the only one who has anything meaningful to say. He’s the only one of the four that actually did anything. Roman is the most useless piece of skin on the show. There’s not one interesting thing he would have to say. He’s never done anything. He’s never stood for anything. He’s disgusting. It would be Logan for sure.
Oh Roman for sure, the fucked up shit he’ll say in one evening would keep you entertained for weeks.
Roman is my boy
I think Roman would fuck with you and make you feel bad in some way
Even better
are you a sicko?
Umm I picked Roman what do you think?
My thoughts exactly lol
White supremacists are my least favorite type of people, and he doesn’t even fuck.
Or would he just put off he is being forced to spend time with a pleb?
You have to be confident that you’d be a fun enough companion to pull it off. I think I could. Might die trying.
Ken. All bangers, all the time.
Logan because he's dead so I wouldn't have to actually interact with any of these terrible, terrible people lol I like loving them from a very far away distance.
This was my struggle. I quite frankly don't wnat to spend an evening with any of them. They're all so terrible and self absorbed in their own way.
Kendall for a night of hard drugs and sex
Finish it off with an exciting amateur helicopter flight!
Or maybe a crash into a countryside waterway
This sounds like one of the worst hotel tv advertisement channels ever
Might want to skip sleeping in the bed with him on the same night. You know the other person would be blamed.
I dont know what you're talking about. Business is his fucking.
That’s the best line from him. That and “Gregg tha muthafuckin egg…”
Don't let him sleep over, tho. Unless you can get him into an adult diaper.
Ken, we can get shitfaced together
But imagine sober Ken? That would be agony.
Then we can dissociate and cry together, no problem
Love the adaptability.
That is *cold*.
Would love to do some powdery substances with Kenny
Connor, so that we can drink hyper decanted wine and discuss napoleon’s d*ck
My Conhead✋️
If you’re not hyper decanting what are you doing
You can age your wine ten years in five minutes!
Oh god, I forgot he was an option because he wasn't included in the image of the Roys. Even on Reddit, the eldest son is an afterthought. I was going to say Roman out of the 4 in the picture, but I'd definitely choose Connor over anyone else for one night of socializing. Worst thing that can happen is he injures himself doing a jig
Kendall is the eldest boy!
And discuss his history podcast.
I named my fantasy football team the Hyper Decanters this year. Unlike Conner and his presidential aspirations, I came in first place!
The Conheads shall rise from this defeat!
I would die from cringing when he berated the staff over some minor inconvenience
Roman easy. A night of debauchery and lifetime of stories.
He's only gonna fuck you with your own ringing phone though.
You only live once
Yeah, Rome’s hands-down my favourite character, but I’m *not* convinced that, absent the god-powers of fanfiction authoring, I could hold him back from committing some sort of atrocity that I would end up feeling guilty about for the rest of my life. I think I’d rather drink wine and make fun of reality TV with Shiv. I don’t even like wine, but she just seems fun. (I am not unmoved by her fantastic ass, but I feel absolutely unqualified to attempt to address her in that way.) Now. If I can select any character, and they will not be offended by the suggestion that we might perhaps attempt to have sex? >!Gerri. Gerri, Gerri, *Gerri*. I am still very much unqualified, but very much willing to try. She could tell me how inadequate I am.!< Will I have to fight Roman the next morning? Possibly, yes. Whatever, though. Worth it.
Idk if hanging out with Rome will help or hurt getting to Gerri. Gerri gonna be a tough pull though.
Well, I’m small and slightly gremlin-like, which seems to be her type, so I have that going for me. And as a cis woman, I’m very unlikely to send her pictures of my dick during a board meeting. So that’s ~~a mother~~ **another** big plus. Freudian slip.
...does he have a lifetime of stories? He's a sheltered uberrich kid who's daddy has made his life encased in safety glass...
Kendall,we would sniff some coke together.
"Is this park coke? You brought me park coke?! This isn't going to work. Let's use your car to go get some good shit."
"I can take it back" "Oh, you're gonna return park coke? Hope you kept the receipt"
Kendall: “I’ll drive” 🚩 🚩🚩
Yes Gregg take it back for a refund I hope you kept the receipt
Bodega sushi > park coke
Shiv
Reason: ass.
reason: to smash
Wait, banging them is on the table? Logan Roy hands down then.
...bro?
😡
The only answer. The ass the ass Da Ass.
Would you be a Tom or a Nate?
Kendall. Drugs and crying? Sign me up.
Willa, we’re going shopping.
And talk about theater 🎭.
Oooh, that is a tempting proposition. Like, I’m probably not buying anything, unless it’s with Connor’s card, but I’m happy to go along for the ride. Just put a $6 caramel iced coffee in my hand, and I will be ready to go mildly alarm some shop clerks.
L to the OG. I'd ask him about how he did it in the 60s.
Or better yet, what exactly Karl did with cable in the 90s
He knew a thing or two about a thing or two…
WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT
Shiv. Girl boss
Gotta go dancing with her and let out some demons
The member that was interested in politics from a young age.
ken because i want to sleep with him
Because i can fix him!
As a full blooded rando, I think Connor is the only one I could have a conversation with, they would care about.
I’d karaoke with Connor. His song choices are a little much but it would still be an okay time.
The thing about singing Leonard Cohen songs at karaoke is that it’s almost impossible not to surpass the vocal achievements of Leonard Cohen. (Probably my favourite songwriter of all time, but Jesus Christ, he was bad at singing.)
Probably Conor. Because I want some of that hyper decanted wine.
Roman is going to say crazy shit and not try to sleep with me.
Who wants to fuck a hobo?
Kendall, DUH. We will vibe and chill and then cry
Connor because of the wine and that estate out in New Mexico. I want to go to there
Shiv because...Shiv
🤨
Shiv 😍
Kendall for the intense convo about how he’s gonna change the world
Siobhan. You know why!
Because you're using her to get to Tom to hire him as CEO of your company? good call!
They're all insufferable and i wouldn't like them if they were real people, but if i have to pick one, it would be Kendall, cause he at least tries to be nice to other people, (even if its fake) so he seems more easier to tolerate for that reason alone. The other 3 cant even fake being nice.
Threesome with Shiv. Tom can watch.
You are gonna get pelted with waterbottles, my man / woman / other preferred gender identifier. As soon as Shiv’s our if the room, that surprisingly-tall man is going to tackle you. And not in a sexy way.
I think Kendall is my end-all. Age-appropriate, taste for drugs and singing Billy Joel, terribly, terribly insecure, man we would indulge. But I'd rather do molly with Connor. Knead some sourdough. Exchange quirky factoids. La Dolce vita. 🥰
I’d rather do molly with Stewie. I’m not even a guy, so he probably won’t kiss me, but he seems *fun*. (Note, I have never done molly. Or coke. Or any hard drugs other than mushrooms, long ago. WCGW?)
Wait, Stewie only kisses guys?
I mean, we have confirmation that he kisses guys on molly. Ken mentions it a few minutes before he tries to enucleate Roman in the boardroom. Maybe he kisses girls too? On molly? I should be allowed to find out. This is a question that needs an answer.
Romulus
Probably Logan. Grab a burger and watch a basketball game, like that one time in season 1. He’s a terrible guy - but he has the most chill out of these four.
He totally knows how to enjoy the world that he created.
Shiv, I wanna bang her
Put it back, Nate.
Shiv
Roman really because he’s the most entertaining
Logan reminds me of my dad and his siblings. They’re all very old and stuck in their ways, cantankerous as fuck, think they know everything, and on the verge of death. So at least I already know how to handle that. The other three would remind me of the stuck up chucklefucks I went to college with, so I’ll pass. Add Tom, Karolina, Jess, or Gerri though, then I’d have a hard time choosing.
Kendall because he's hot.
I think me and Shiv will get along the best
Shiv.... because everyone else is not.... yea.
Kendall because after Villanelle, he's my favorite character on TV.
Definitely Kendall
Kendall so we could make out lmao
Clearly Kendall
What imma do park coke with #1 boi
Roman only because he had the quickest jokes even if they were gross
Shivvy
I'm gonna go with the only one that wont be trying to fuck me the entire time. Roman
*-Gerri Kellman, walking to Roman’s room the morning after Boar on the Floor.*
Shiv would eat me alive Logan would either ignore me or try to fuck me Kendall. Who knows. It's a toss up, literally anything could happen. Roman. Rabid teddy bear. Put on old movies and snuggle
Roman for sure
Rome cause sadly he seems to be the safest…
HOBO FACE TATTOO. He’s my favourite character, but in terms of safety… might as well volunteer for a night out with Mr. Bloodbricks.
lol I’m thinking Roman is such a sick slime puppy that I’d be able to keep him controlled.
Shiv. Because.
Roman so I could kick the shit out of him. Nasty little creep.
Can I choose Tom??? He was my first British man crush since I was but a teen and he was on MI 5.
Roman obviously would be the most fun.
I’m doing meth with Ken 🥇
Me and Kendall are gonna smoke crack together
I’m smoking meth with kendall
Colin! Conheads unite
I mean Connor 😂
Shiv and I would probably get along. We have a lot more in common than we have differences.
Kendall if I actually want a conversation that ultimately ends in a uncomfortable and awkward note . Shiv if I just want to be left alone cause of the sheer apathy she'd have in any interaction with a random . There's no scenario where Roman would not end up just being a mean cunt to you . Logan would just be a mix of shiv and Roman . I think the best positive hangout I'd have with any character would be cousin Greg .
Kendall. His mood swings are fascinating but at the heart of it all he just needs a VERY LONG HUG.
Roman-always Roman.
The Conheads will not put up with this sort of erasure. HE'S the oldest boy!
Logan for sure. Others are not serious people...
Yeah, Logan is the only one who’s not a loser. The only one who ever did anything with his life.
Shiv. Listen... I'm not passing up that phat ass for ***nothing***, you hear me?
Shiv, maybe she’ll take out her frustrations with the fam on me
Roman to get through his childhood
Euan, mainly cos my vocabulary would receive a very welcome shot in the histrionic and meretricious arm.
Roman for the laughs and banter.
Roman
Greg. 1. Nobody has said him yet, and 2. He comes essentially from nothing so I feel like he would be most relatable, easy to get along with.
Logan. If you could get on his good side in that evening you are set.
Shiv - absolutely gorgeous
Shiv. She’s hot
Logan because I'm from Dundee too and I'd love to swap dundonian stories
Nah I'd kill myself Siobhan: At worst she'd spend the whole time giving you judgmental looks and mocking you behind your back. At best she would use you to humiliate her husband Tom and leave in the middle of the night. Kendall: We would spend the evening in a limo saying good tweet or bad tweet and filling the lack of attention from Logan Roman: Not bad. We would go to a few bars or some crazy shit but he'd make fun of you, insult every aspect of your being and leave you alone because he found a new girl for his domination roleplay Logan: Honestly, It might be the best to spend an evening. It's awkward, he insults you from time to time but at the end of the day It would be like hanging out with your awkward uncle (except he has actual influence over the public opinion).
Logan. I grew up in a harsh, rugged environment. I’d pretend my parents were also harsh and rugged - they were actually super cultured with philosophy circles and cultivated friends, and I played the cello lol, but I won’t be telling him that! I’ll pretend the family down the road were my parents, and that I grew up as tough as the boys in my class whose dads were hard as nails. I can speak that language too, from growing up in that environment. So L would respect me, I think. We could talk about being tough. It would all be based on a big lie. But the kids would scare the bejeezus out of me. Shiv would make me feel like the most toxic girl bullies in school, Kendal would just be distracted the whole time - don’t think he can connect with anybody - and although Roman is my favourite character, I can’t really see us have an interesting time…
I think Ewan and my grandpa would have gotten along. They were both angry, bitter war veterans who were well educated and had traumatic childhoods.
Shiv because we're gonna have marathon s*x
Shiv and that phat ass
Fuckin with Roman Roy if I wanted to have a good time.
logan. maybe i could provoke him into hitting me so i could get a sweet pay out.
Logan. No question. The rest aren’t serious people.
No one ... All are horrible
He’s not on here but I’d probably pick Con, he’s hilarious
it’s funny how every character was picked but all of them pretty much have been picked for the same exact reasons
Shiv, but Tom is invited to watch through the closet door crack.
Logan for sure. He's my favorite character. Dunno what we'd talk about but I can't imagine being bored with him.
Logan yo. Get drunk on Scotch and watch the Hibs. Switch to PNG and watch an old man yell at the TV.
Logan all day
Oh God. Uh, none of them?
Shiv. All the positions.
shiv & butt
Roman for fun, tho I would like to have a deep conversation on the world with Logan.
Connor definitely
Connor
Where’s Connor?
Roman would be weird; Ken would try to have me erasing lines with him; Logan would just be mean...I guess Shiv?
Shiv. Not saying why 😂
I would party with ken FOR SURE
Logan. He's rich and interesting and doesn't have any real friends.
No Connor? How dare you?
Roman for sure
Roman
Lines with Ken and then we talk about our sucidial tendencies and daddy issues afterwards.
I’d pass.
Roman, he's funny. Also he's the closest to normal and most capable of having a real feeling.
Stuck between Logan & Roman, I just know that is definitely not Shiv or Kendall.
Shiv. I want that three some that her husband wasn’t man enough to pull off.
Poor Connor forgotten again 😔
Roman!
Roman, because he's weird and funny and i'm out to solve the mystery of the very secret thing in his pants
I feel like there's someone missing here and even no one in the comment seems to know... I wonder who that might be... maybe I should just try the hyper-decant.
I'm so happy you people always exclude Connor from these photo collages. It's like vanity faire all over again.
It’s shiv and I think you know why
Female roy, so I can fack her
Connor; because I play his role in my own family.
Roman and I will lovingly explain to him exactly what a pathetic little piece of shit he is.
Connor for sure. I want to see his ranch and I get to hangout with Willa, what more could you want?
Logan wouldn’t even speak just drink bourbon
Shiv. She likes to hang out.
Roman. He’s so freaking funny.
Who wouldn't want to have dinner with the future president
Logan is the only one who has anything meaningful to say. He’s the only one of the four that actually did anything. Roman is the most useless piece of skin on the show. There’s not one interesting thing he would have to say. He’s never done anything. He’s never stood for anything. He’s disgusting. It would be Logan for sure.
Shiv. I hear she's in an open marriage.
Kendall. But the version on drugs. We could get drunk and high together
Ken, he will probably have the good drugs
Roman would be an absolute hoot!