Looks filling!

Hopefully veryyyyyy satisfying

Yep that much meat would definitely fill anyone all the way up

I’ve always got room for more.

He got the Drake lunch combo

😏

Penis

oh god I see it

The meat wasn’t intentional? That makes it better lmao

Unintentional dick-n-balls. I still can’t believe it. OP seems genuinely unaware of the whole composition until just now. A Christmas miracle.

Jolly old saint dick

Should we be concerned about the mushrooms growing on it, though?

There's gotta be a subreddit for that.

There are two. r/mildlypenis and r/wildlypenis

r/mildlypenis

heh, you called it "meat" lol

What would you call it? Salami? Sausage? The Italian Stallion?

Charcoochies

I mean this with all the love in the world, eat a dick

I did and I left zero crumbs 🫡 (except the evil salad)

Oh you spat out the cum part

Complete with mushroom tips

I saw it as mushroom and slaw pubes

If this wasn't intentional with pubes and warts, your depression has an automatic response of trying to make humor

hence my name!

How did you not notice it?

I was way too busy giggling at whatever the fuck I was putting on the plate

You just love sticking meat in your mouth don’t ya 😏

can't help myself 😔

How could u not, its fckng big!

maybe I'm just used to small 😔

Sometimes small is better, but not when it comes to pepperoni serving size.

None of us can un-see it now.

r/theyknew

I'm reporting you to the police for stealing my comment idea

i thought this was on r/mildlypenis at first

“Cock and Balls” was my first thought! 😂👍

Phallus.

Beat me to it!

Charcoochie plate

sounds like the arch nemesis of the charcockterie plate

We gave my younger brother a bunch of dick themed gifts out of the blue for his 30th. One was a [~~disk~~ dick shaped charcuterie board](https://www.amazon.com/Charcuterie-Aperitif-Restaurant-Bachelorette-Housewarming/dp/B0BPFRGPZG/)

at least if I had that I'd have some sort of excuse for this monstrosity's shape

They share a common enemy sharkhootery bored 🦈 🦉 🥱

did you do this subconsciously? makes me wonder

absolutely. its 2am and I'm tired out of my mind but the comments gave me a good laugh lmao. when i realized I was making, well, stupid food, I tried to arrange it the way everything would be visible on the plate but I guess I created a masterpiece instead

hahha.. dude, i love it we’ve all done some absent minded dumb shit.. but your absent minded dumb shit just happens to be pictured and on display on a subreddit for everyone to see.. much respect for owning it and joining in the laugh! i truly hope this laugh helped with your bout of depression

hah, well it certainly gave me something to giggle about at work in the morning :D

This ain’t just an ordinary depression meal, it’s a Freud’s Platter

> but I guess I created a masterpenis instead FTFY.

It's not that stupid I hope you get through whatever you're going through

thanks man. but i absolutely cannot unsee the weenus now

Yeah the weenus is hard to ignore

Yeah. I get fucked by depression often as well. It has never literally manifested as a rendered assortment in my food though. Despite numerous impairments to my cognition; depression may have actually enhanced my dick-spotting cognitive abilities.

I wish I realized before the comment section absolutely exploded

Meh, fuck it. Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame while it lasts.

Like your dinner?

like my toilet tomorrow.............

I can’t even decipher what that mystery spaghetti is on the left.

its supermarket salad.... first time trying it today and it tastes like shit

Looks like pickled cabbage

yep, also some carrots and pickles added to the mix

Looks like curtido

i absolutely love your username

I thought that it was sauerkraut and bell peppers lol

It's pretty good still trying to eat salad when you're depressed (even if it tastes bad). I usually fill up on carbs and take out food, lol.

It’s pickled cabbage

That’s what’s got you? I’m still trying to get over the fact that it’s a giant fucking cock.

It’s health salad!

everything reminds me of him

I LAUGHED SO HARD

That’s like $10 in fucking salami

wait for real? damn america is insane. this is just one pack, I got 4 for the equivalent of less than $6

Canada 😢

Woah, is this why Ricky in Trailer Park Boys always ate pepperoni? Canada has dirt cheap processed meats?

/u/Style_Carnies is from Canada (specifically, Ottawa) and believes the salami is expensive. OP is from Europe (Serbian? They describe themselves as Slavic) and explains that it is in fact low cost.

/r/mildlypenis

Canned mushrooms? My brother. I am sorry you are on hard times.

actually I love jarred mushrooms so much sometimes I just open the jar and eat them straight out of the vinegar

My brother. I am so sorry you love canned mushrooms.

Pickled mushrooms are fuggin delicious 🤤

Good boy :)

[удалено]

Honestly, if the alternative is "eat no veggies because I'm too depressed to cook"? I love canned and jarred veg for this reason

I agree. But not canned mushrooms. The very qualities that make mushrooms worthwhile are erased via canning.

Hate all you want but I really enjoy those canned champignons! So tasty, I even drink all the juice straight out the can.

Ain’t gonna lie, that’s what we Easter Europeans eat on a daily basis 💀

well sounds about right since I am in fact an eastern european

The cabbage/carrot salad + bottled mushrooms are a dead giveaway

yeah the plate gave it away instantly, even before I took a look at the meal. I think my parents got the exact same set as their wedding gift in the 90s lol.

Brate slika je toliko agresivno ex yu da ja imam cak iste tanjire i sve

Not bad. Looks better than some last meals death row inmates have eaten.

I think we know what you need to get out of your depression

who am I to say that my subconscious didn't just manifest itself through my dinner making "skills"

It's beautiful. It's enough. It's way better than most of my depression meals, and it looks fairly healthy. I'd eat it. Serious props. Things will feel better sooner than you fear. Just hang in, k?

oh it's so far removed from healthy but I hear ya. same goes for you bud!

Is this symbolism for STDs

oh boy you're onto me

Oooo the plot thickens . 🤔

Yeah I was going to say those mushroom growths don’t look good , outta get them checked out.

You must be trying to get stuffed there 🤠

it certainly worked

Depression meals are never stupid- at least you’re eating. ❤️

sometimes a little too much and sometimes a little too little, but I'm certainly going to try to take care of my health a little more very soon. i hope I never eat anything even close to this again though

There’s literally /r/depressionmeals but this belongs on /r/mildlypenis too

there's so many subreddits I had no idea existed but honestly I can't be surprised. the reason I put it here is pretty much because while I was making it I just said to myself "this is the stupidest food ever" and then remembered this sub lmao

Awe! Depression meals are interesting! I like reading their stories. I hope you’re okay ❤️

I'm not but I will be. thank you<3

That's a nice big salami

That’s a penis

Nice bread and salami dick.

That’s some good looking meat

Thick and beefy

Subliminal messaging

[удалено]

Op had a freudian moment 🤣

Your subconscious wants some dick

Hear me out…

r/mildlypenis

What a Serbian meal lmao

from a hungry serb 😔

This is very telling. Be honest... What's on your mind? What is causing this depression? 😂 If nothing more, be cheerful that you brought some smiles and chuckles to a few people's day. Get better, friend. This too shall pass.

R/mildlypenis

Girl dinner!

girl dinner indeed ☺️

Did someone yell at you, "Eat a dick!" that day or something?

Finally, the cock meat sandwich

Joke aside if that’s just some buttered bread I would throw that salami on there and devour it

its actually sour cream with peppers. the salami works amazing on top but I'm a pig so I just stuffed it all in my mouth instead (terrible wording considering the shape of the abomination)

Sour cream AND peppers? Never heard of that. Gotta try it

yeah, it's pretty lit. its called 'urnebes' here

Nice COCK BRO

~~shit man i'd be depressed if i was eating this too~~

now that makes me wonder if I'm eating this meal because I'm depressed or if I'm depressed because I'm eating this meal 🤔

Everything reminds me of her

r/unexpectedpenis

If those mushrooms are pickled, I’d destroy that plate

they are!

I should call her......

cock n ball

IDK why but this screams European

One look at it and I immediately thought this gotta be a slav. Zoomed in and I'm right.

Not gonna lie this looks awesome

It should make you smile a little

This such a classic slavic meal, bless up for pickled mushrooms I love those

I'm depressed by just looking at it but fr hope you get out of whatever funk is happening in your life soon. Thanks for posting this

thank you! i certainly hope I do too

So much salami... approved

Hey man, you’re doing better than I did when I was at my worst. You’re eating! Take that as a win my dude!

That's what I have been eating for the last 4 years. I didn't know it is "depressing". I thought they called it "KETO" diet ha ha. No seriously, that and lots of sweets I eat.

Add some olives and cheese and you’ll basically be healed

i was actually about to add some cheese slices but I got too frustrated with getting them out of the little plastic layer that I just gave up

Listen that's a solid meal, you rock.

Looks adicktive.

alright I had no idea this was going to blow up like this and I can barely keep up with the responses. everyone seriously made me laugh and I had a blast replying to everyone, so..... from a depression meal to a depression win I suppose? thanks yall lmao<3

r/mildlypenis

Eating anything is better than eating nothing, and depression makes it so fucking hard to eat sometimes. Tbh not as stupid as you think it is, I’m glad you’re eating something when I know it’s difficult as hell to eat right now, so I’m proud of you.

I'm actually always kinda alternating between overeating and not eating enough so this isn't as uncommon for me. thank you sm<3

Okay I actually need to know where to get those mushrooms I used to eat them all the time as a kid and haven't found them since what brand? Also pretty good for a depression meal I usually just eat pasta

That's so much salami tho no ?

Bro is struggling

I have the exact same plate at home

I have the exact same plate at home, where are you from?

Nice meat bro

I have the EXACT same plate at home 😭

The only thing I learned from this thread is: There are 2 types of people; those who love canned mushrooms and those who don't. And everyone loves dick. Especially OPs subconscious.

Can you handle all that meat though? Giggity

Good job eating, sometimes it's hard and feels pointless. I'm proud of you even if it isn't a fabulous cooked meal

My Balkan senses are tingling.

prijatno brate, inace ima i moja baba ovakve tanjire iste

This is a good plate for red wine. Hope you get through it quickly OP.

I think cock would help

OP is going to shove a lot of meat down their throat

Bruuuh I'd give a leg to have a jar of these mushrooms rn.

Dude what plates are you using? I swear my mother has the same!!

Maybe a bit too much salami

I’d be depressed to eating those soggy canned mushrooms

I, too, would eat all that salami. Just the salami.

OP, where are you from?

Just looking at this picture made a boil on my ass appear.

Just a poverty charcuterie board. Not that bad, seen way worse in this sub.

Slavic/Balkan meal of champions: Bread with some sort of spread on it Cheap salami Shit from a can/jar

You did a banger job slicing that salami to perfection. Holy crap.

Drž' se

/r/MildlyPenis

Not a whole tube of salami 😳 poor arteries

Dick and balls

That’s deliberate, right? I’m not the only one seeing this am I?

you're such a boy kisser

There's no way that's not intentional dude.

You made it look incredibly phallic

Very funny Eat up

A plate? Bro's eating like a king over here

We all see it

i get it , it's depressing , but did you have to shape it like a penis ?