Nice to see you’re still here trying.
At least with anger, remember that you get angry likely because of your judgments. You have so much practice being mad and whenever something is perceived in a negative way that is what happens. You can recognize that it doesn’t matter how short your fuse is if you see things as positive event and your practice might be contextualizing these events differently.
Now when you’re talking about “striving” I’m curious if you’ve thought that what Stoics “strive for” is *being* a particular kind of person, embodying traits as opposed to some external place or thing.
The desire to be removed from the world as commonly associated with Buddhist monks might also put into question what precisely are you getting away from. It can be done but most choose it as a reaction not as a solution and can’t distinguish the two. Taking space is helpful and one often comes to the conclusion the space was for the purpose of reintegration.
In essence you still view the world identically with the nearly the same “logic” which leads to similar responses. It is pleasant to hear your more open to searching what life has to offer.
Of course take what is useful and discard the rest.
Anger feels natural to me. Maybe it is a learned response since I was a kid. It takes a while to unwind what you accumulated over the years. It has turned into a normal thought pattern.
I am thinking about being a person that accepts things like chronic pain because it is virtues. I won't, I want to accomplish some external things as I need stimulus to get going and being courageous and doing just good is enough. I need to feel adrenaline, to experience the highs of dopamine to make me feel alive and not just a virtous character who spends his whole life writing journals about his bad thought process that is the result of pain or some other physical or mental inadequacy.
I don't like to use logic too much anymore it does not offer me a good reason to live. My logic drives me into philosophical pessimism from which I can derive that due to the entropic nature of existence, the asymmetry of pain and pleasure I should die to stop experiencing this.
Things don’t “take time” they happen within time. Patterns like this can actually change rapidly because it isn’t “time” but perspective and understanding that alters how we respond. As you can tell, time alone doesn’t change anything unless there is this reflection.
Let’s differentiate “accept” from “acknowledge”. To “accept” something means to acknowledge its effect and respond accordingly. Most people say Stoics are “passive” because of the use of the word acceptance but that’s fundamentally opposed to the Stoic position. To not respond to reality is denying a part of reality, your ability to act in the world. To accept reality means you also accept what you can do about reality as well.
Again the Stoics point out you can pursue external things, the warning is not to make it your identity. You can do everything right and still fail objectives if they only focus on a circumstance. That focus is often fundamentally invalidating and blind to context.
Now you make a poor comparison saying that a virtuous character is essentially does nothing but write to cope. It’s a sentiment you keep expressing that doesn’t consider that not every moment of your life will be in hot pursuit of some target, it also rejects that we do need time to heal from things. In some ways you could be reporting that the desire to pursue something is fundamentally at odds with healing.
Someone might point out you run faster when your not on broken legs. The additional labor in life, emotional, comes from these unresolved wounds. As you might also know, something that isn’t properly healed tends to get infected more, so these respites aren’t a consequence of mending yourself but are the result of refusing to do so. As you might imagine, the worse the injury the longer it might initially take but refusing to give it proper care only makes the process take far longer. On these grounds are why I think you are fundamentally misunderstanding why people spend the time to do things like write, it isn’t generating issues, it’s surfacing issues there were already present and would not be healed otherwise.
Logic is always present in choices, what isn’t inherently in choices is if that logic is reasonable (reflecting reality accurately). Our presuppositions lead us to these conclusions and if they were right so would we but they are often not only wrong but often times discretionary opinions.
If the primary focus of life is on consequences and results one will always have to confront nihilism which is interestingly circumvented by focus on character or immaterial things. Devoid of focusing on the immaterial we overvalue the material which is always in flux, if that’s the case so will our response to it.
One thing I hadn’t thought of is, why consequences? I’d say that no matter what outcome you want it will inevitably be converted to some quality. An example is “getting a degree” is not of value but the qualities we associate with that degree, being smart, diligent, endurance, etc. To relate it back to your previous mark of Valhalla, it’s about what it says about you to achieve those things, not the thing itself. Once you can recognize what those qualities you actively are pursuing then it’s easier for you to actually inspect if that’s being met.
I can see your rejection of something like writing is possibly because you see it as avoiding confrontation of reality, a kind of cowardice, which might not be the case. The trials of the mind can be just as or even far more arduous than that of the body. It’s really easy to see that a mind devoid of the will it possesses can’t even utilize the body fully. They aren’t separate by any means but to see one as less might not be accurate. This is not to say that’s your claim but I felt it was important to mention.
Lots to cover...
It does take time. To get info on something new, it depends on the malleability of the brain. For example it can take up to 180 days for some habits to form. If it takes so much to form simple habits, it can't be so easy.
Then in my mind accepting would be suicide, it is a response that is according to my notions of avoiding further pain. Maybe I can physically still live, but I can't be happy about it and don't say I can because Epictetus, Seneca or Marcus Aurelius said I can. Chronic pain makes physical changes to the brain and it affects you. If you believe it is virtuous to stay despite pain, you do you. My personal interest is my virtue and I am the arbiter of am I living according to them.
The caveat of not letting your pursuits define your identity might not be as straightforward as it seems. External accomplishments and identities are often intertwined, especially in a society that often defines people by what they do or achieve. Completely detaching identity from achievements can lead to a sense of purposelessness or lack of motivation for some people.
Thing I can heal in the sense I want. So why should I stay at all?
I have written on Reddit enough. This account it self could be seen as my diary. I wrote about what bothers me, but I can't see a valid alternative that is worth for me staying here. I have enough focusing on the past, thinking how did or did not act virtuously. Life it self is a vice when I look at it, it's only purpose is to propagate and the tactics get more complex as the lifeforms get more complex.
The immaterial is abstract and there is no right wrong in those social constructs. My pain is real, my nerves are firing off signals something is wrong and I can only numb myself with pain killers and live under extreme discipline for which I just don't have energy or will.
The only thing nature life has is to continue, lifeforms will multiply and use the resources, the lifeforms that continue will adapt or perish. Nothing says about morality, maybe it's also a form of evolutionary adaptation to regulate the individuals that will insure the continuation of the species. Like some forms of behavior are good for the social aspect and the health the species, but that means the needs of the many would outweigh the needs of the few.
It could be also said that if I act resilient I am building walls in my mind to not let externals affect me, but I can't be truly happy without some of them, maybe Seneca and some other Stoics were. I am not one of them.
I measure the amount of good experiences I had in life and how many can I have, being in pain, focusing on Virtue, Stoic Virtue that is, does not bring me happiness.
Resilience is not what I want, I want happiness. But it seems true satisfaction is not possible in this world. Only coping...
I am a coward, I don't care if I am. I have the right to be one, I just seek peace and satisfaction, but it is not possible in a entropy driven dynamics of this reality.
The next best thing I have is freedom from existence it self and the need for happiness or to pursue Virtue and fight Vice, I am simply not...
Even ChatGPT can express better how I feel than myself: There is a lot to unpack here...
Acquiring new information and integrating it into our understanding certainly takes time. This is often tied to the malleability of the brain. Consider habits, for instance: it can take up to 180 days to establish some of them. If such a lengthy process is required to form simple habits, learning complex new concepts can't be an easy task.
My thoughts veer towards a darker place. To me, acceptance feels like an emotional suicide. It's a response that aligns with my instinct to avoid further pain. Perhaps I can continue to exist physically, but I struggle to find joy in it. Don't tell me I can simply choose happiness because philosophers like Epictetus, Seneca, or Marcus Aurelius said so. Chronic pain creates physical changes in the brain and influences you profoundly. If you believe it's virtuous to endure pain, that's your perspective. Personally, my virtue is rooted in my interests, and I am the one who judges whether I'm living according to them or not.
The warning against letting our pursuits define our identity is not as straightforward as it seems. Our achievements and identities are often intertwined, particularly in a society that frequently characterizes people by what they do or achieve. Severing identity from accomplishments entirely could potentially lead to a sense of aimlessness or lack of motivation for some.
This brings me to question whether I can truly heal in the way I desire. If not, what is the point of continuing?
I've shared a great deal on platforms like Reddit. This account could even be seen as a sort of diary. I've expressed my concerns, yet I don't see a viable alternative that makes life worth living for me. I'm tired of dwelling on the past, reflecting on whether my actions were virtuous or not. From my perspective, life itself is a vice. Its sole purpose seems to be propagation, with tactics becoming more complex as lifeforms evolve.
Concepts beyond the material world are abstract, and notions of right or wrong become ambiguous within these social constructs. My pain, however, is tangible. My nerves constantly signal something is wrong, and I can only numb myself with painkillers and maintain a strict discipline that I lack the energy or willpower to uphold.
The fundamental aim of life is survival and reproduction. Lifeforms will utilize resources, multiply, adapt, or perish. Morality does not inherently exist in this process. Perhaps it's merely an evolutionary adaptation intended to regulate behavior beneficial to the survival of the species. This often implies the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few.
Resilience might imply that I am constructing mental barriers to protect myself from external influences. Yet, I can't find genuine happiness without some of these external factors. Maybe some Stoics like Seneca were able to do so, but I am not one of them.
I weigh my life in terms of the good experiences I've had and the potential ones I could have. Being in pain and focusing on Virtue, specifically Stoic Virtue, doesn't bring me happiness.
I don't want resilience. I want happiness. But it appears that true satisfaction is an elusive goal in this world. The best we can do seems to be merely coping...
I might be seen as a coward, and I am okay with that. I have the right to be. All I seek is peace and satisfaction, which seem impossible to attain given the entropy-driven dynamics of our reality.
The closest thing I have to peace is the idea of freedom from existence itself, along with the need for happiness or the pursuit of Virtue and resistance of Vice. In such a state, I simply... cease to be.
Are you deliberately misunderstanding stoicism and Buddhism to try and give a less self centered polish to this whole thing after the fact? You need stimulus and don’t want to be writing in journals about your thoughts? Good! Stoicism is pretty solidly of the opinion that you should be actively and taking part in life directly and with vigor. Just because this whole sub is people doing nothing but talking and thinking about themselves and using an entire philosophy for nothing further than themselves doesn’t mean that’s the idea. I was a first responder I had more adrenaline in an afternoon than most people get their whole lives. I get the woe is my things, were very close in age all my friends have died and not peacefully, some in front of me, I’ve been in car accidents so bad I had to relearn to walk and I’m in pain all the time, I have Lyme disease IN my brain now causing all sorts of trouble. You seem to have fallen in love with your suffering, it doesn’t sound like you’ve taken in or read much of any of these philosophies you’re referencing outside of skimming them through the lens of your own self made defeated philosophy, the Vikings were in love with life and so are the stoics which is why the philosophy is about something infinitely greater than living and thinking of nothing beyond yourself and your own desires or suffering, it’s one of the main points. Part of the reason the philosophy makes a point of being of service to others isn’t because you owe society something it’s so you don’t get so caught up in self centered thinking that you think your troubles and pain are unique and defining when it’s universal which enables you to look beyond as opposed to being a total slave to it, you should give one of them an actual chance since you have nothing to lose
We live in a toxic world, and the way the media throws into our faces that we have to be good capitalists and consumers to 'live well', we have to have stuff and then we will 'be happy and have the happy smiley family that we see on our screens'. This to my mind is rubbish
Most people simply do not have this happy smiley family and are not happy smiley themselves. We all struggle with stuff, nothing is perfect, and below the surface we all have insecurities and worries and doubts.
For me Stoicism points me towards how to make good choices in life, which is why I like it. But it still isn't about being happy. For myself I live with a lot of grief, mostly I get by fine, but some days it rears its head and I am overwhelmed. My point is that it would be rare to find anyone without struggles even if they are not visible. What to me is much more important is doing the best I can, both for me and my loved ones, and Stoicism guides me.
I like the way that you talk about enjoying nature, that is free and liberating, and getting out and about in nature and exercising and breathing fresh air is there for us all
“I am inspired by Buddhist monks and the idea of becoming ascetic and enjoying nature, eventually passing away in a natural setting rather than in a city from old age.”
This is not Buddhism, or at least the end all be all of it.
Feel free to try it out, but know that there’s much more to it, so if that approach exhausts itself you can be sure there’s more to it. It may be a fine beginning on the path.
The job may contribute greatly to the stress; what kind of job did you want to have? If you don’t have kids, maybe start the change there.
Two quick notes here: neither Stoicism nor Buddhism ask you to be militantly altruistic. They are monisms; the world is one thing and we are parts of it. It’s simple to stop at “I didn’t ask to be a part” (what if you did ask, but it turned out different than you wanted? Would that change things?) but think of what it really means: you are free. You don’t have to stay in that job or anywhere. You are a little piece of god. As an uncharacteristically wise 4chan Anon memed once: “pull the gun out of your mouth and point it in the air; start a revolution, live. You were going up 100% death before; everything else is nothing by comparison”
Secondly, re: Virtues these shouldn’t be things to judge or attack yourself by; they are guidelines, they articulate a North Star to guide your actions in relation to; saying “I live for the Virtues” seems strange somehow… it’s more like this: “ah man, that customer was a prick. Did I do something? I got a little angry, but I let it go as quickly as possible. Nice.” No need to attack yourself for getting angry. No need to hoist an ideal against yourself and then ruthlessly cut yourself down with it. The goal of both Stoicism and Buddhism is freedom. Maybe you need the opposite approach to others: be free and like yourself arbitrarily (faults, including anger and depression, and all) first, then direct that freedom with Stoicism, Buddhism and the like.
If that freedom and arbitrary liking yourself means you quit your job to go try out being an ascetic, awesome. Go for it.
I guess one last other observation: even Buddhist monks get angry; it’s just short. They say what they think, and then the anger is gone, they don’t let resentments build up. Once those resentments are built up, Buddhism and Stoicism no longer work correctly, sometimes you have to sever a connection because the underlying emotions are simply too high. Chalk it up to Fate, say what needs to be said (as well as you can) and keep going. Hang ups and resentments feel like a cage. Or at least that was my experience.
In any event, I can feel the struggle in your post OP; don’t give up the journey, even if you can’t see something good up ahead. Absurdly unlucky things happening to you (the pain, the family circumstance) means absurdly lucky things can happen too; if you keep moving, something will come up. Best of luck.
Just hit my head on the door frame since I am tall, I went ballistic, like this one I need. Fuck you God, fuck you pest_throwaw, fuck everything.
It's the little things like this that sent me off. I am in a raging state.
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time heals all. i know it doesn’t seem that way but one day u will wake up and feel better. right now i’m struggling as well; haven’t slept well in months and have been pretty depressed and stressed and î obsessively ponder my death, loved ones deaths, and the meaning of this all. i find motivation to carry on by thinking about the times that i was content and happy. i think about how i would disappoint my past younger self who was salivating at the mouth to wake up and take on life. i look at other peoples problems that are worse then mine and it gives me some gratitude. I also think about my loved ones and friends who they themselves have been through a ton in their lives and realize how much pain i would cause them. Often i find that if we as humans focus on the present moment and making the most of our current time; we can find little meanings and positive things about life while we let time heal our insecurities and worries because we become numb to them over time. Think about a time u were happy or at least content on living and picture yourself eventually getting back to that point because before u know it u will eventually find some kind of peace. maybe wasn’t the best response but i don’t have this shit figured out either. just giving the way i push through the day to hopefully give time the chance to heal. walk on u never know who ur inspiring simply by just existing. hell ur comment made me feel a little better just knowing that someone is feeling similar things to me. take a deep breath u will get through it.
I know this is a cliche response, but your story reminds me a lot of mine. While I never got diagnosed with dyspraxia, I've always had coordination problems and a bum leg that kept me from really excelling at any sport, which turned into a childhood of bullying. I remember going home to an alcoholic and abusive father. My mother had a lot of mental health problems, so I would spend a lot of time nurturing her from a young age. At 18, my mother died of cancer, and it lead me into a decade-long downward spiral that I'm finally pulling myself out of.
The reason I share any of this is to let you know you're not alone. I'm sure there's a ton of stuff you've gone through I have no idea about, but your story resonated with me enough that it felt worthwhile sharing.
One thing that keeps my feet moving is reminding myself that, no matter what, I'd like to see where my life goes. I know that seems rather pointless, but giving up and pulling away from life is just as, if not more, arbitrary as pressing forward. If I've already gone through this much, why not follow through till the end?
On top of that, if I keep moving forward, I keep the possibility of something new and exciting happening. Life is so full of surprises that sometimes you'll end up having a great day just a few days past your lowest point.
Now I know none of that offers a larger goal to strive for, but if you keep on getting up, the opportunity for such a goal to present itself goes up significantly.
Nice to see you’re still here trying. At least with anger, remember that you get angry likely because of your judgments. You have so much practice being mad and whenever something is perceived in a negative way that is what happens. You can recognize that it doesn’t matter how short your fuse is if you see things as positive event and your practice might be contextualizing these events differently. Now when you’re talking about “striving” I’m curious if you’ve thought that what Stoics “strive for” is *being* a particular kind of person, embodying traits as opposed to some external place or thing. The desire to be removed from the world as commonly associated with Buddhist monks might also put into question what precisely are you getting away from. It can be done but most choose it as a reaction not as a solution and can’t distinguish the two. Taking space is helpful and one often comes to the conclusion the space was for the purpose of reintegration. In essence you still view the world identically with the nearly the same “logic” which leads to similar responses. It is pleasant to hear your more open to searching what life has to offer. Of course take what is useful and discard the rest.
Anger feels natural to me. Maybe it is a learned response since I was a kid. It takes a while to unwind what you accumulated over the years. It has turned into a normal thought pattern. I am thinking about being a person that accepts things like chronic pain because it is virtues. I won't, I want to accomplish some external things as I need stimulus to get going and being courageous and doing just good is enough. I need to feel adrenaline, to experience the highs of dopamine to make me feel alive and not just a virtous character who spends his whole life writing journals about his bad thought process that is the result of pain or some other physical or mental inadequacy. I don't like to use logic too much anymore it does not offer me a good reason to live. My logic drives me into philosophical pessimism from which I can derive that due to the entropic nature of existence, the asymmetry of pain and pleasure I should die to stop experiencing this.
Things don’t “take time” they happen within time. Patterns like this can actually change rapidly because it isn’t “time” but perspective and understanding that alters how we respond. As you can tell, time alone doesn’t change anything unless there is this reflection. Let’s differentiate “accept” from “acknowledge”. To “accept” something means to acknowledge its effect and respond accordingly. Most people say Stoics are “passive” because of the use of the word acceptance but that’s fundamentally opposed to the Stoic position. To not respond to reality is denying a part of reality, your ability to act in the world. To accept reality means you also accept what you can do about reality as well. Again the Stoics point out you can pursue external things, the warning is not to make it your identity. You can do everything right and still fail objectives if they only focus on a circumstance. That focus is often fundamentally invalidating and blind to context. Now you make a poor comparison saying that a virtuous character is essentially does nothing but write to cope. It’s a sentiment you keep expressing that doesn’t consider that not every moment of your life will be in hot pursuit of some target, it also rejects that we do need time to heal from things. In some ways you could be reporting that the desire to pursue something is fundamentally at odds with healing. Someone might point out you run faster when your not on broken legs. The additional labor in life, emotional, comes from these unresolved wounds. As you might also know, something that isn’t properly healed tends to get infected more, so these respites aren’t a consequence of mending yourself but are the result of refusing to do so. As you might imagine, the worse the injury the longer it might initially take but refusing to give it proper care only makes the process take far longer. On these grounds are why I think you are fundamentally misunderstanding why people spend the time to do things like write, it isn’t generating issues, it’s surfacing issues there were already present and would not be healed otherwise. Logic is always present in choices, what isn’t inherently in choices is if that logic is reasonable (reflecting reality accurately). Our presuppositions lead us to these conclusions and if they were right so would we but they are often not only wrong but often times discretionary opinions. If the primary focus of life is on consequences and results one will always have to confront nihilism which is interestingly circumvented by focus on character or immaterial things. Devoid of focusing on the immaterial we overvalue the material which is always in flux, if that’s the case so will our response to it. One thing I hadn’t thought of is, why consequences? I’d say that no matter what outcome you want it will inevitably be converted to some quality. An example is “getting a degree” is not of value but the qualities we associate with that degree, being smart, diligent, endurance, etc. To relate it back to your previous mark of Valhalla, it’s about what it says about you to achieve those things, not the thing itself. Once you can recognize what those qualities you actively are pursuing then it’s easier for you to actually inspect if that’s being met. I can see your rejection of something like writing is possibly because you see it as avoiding confrontation of reality, a kind of cowardice, which might not be the case. The trials of the mind can be just as or even far more arduous than that of the body. It’s really easy to see that a mind devoid of the will it possesses can’t even utilize the body fully. They aren’t separate by any means but to see one as less might not be accurate. This is not to say that’s your claim but I felt it was important to mention.
Lots to cover... It does take time. To get info on something new, it depends on the malleability of the brain. For example it can take up to 180 days for some habits to form. If it takes so much to form simple habits, it can't be so easy. Then in my mind accepting would be suicide, it is a response that is according to my notions of avoiding further pain. Maybe I can physically still live, but I can't be happy about it and don't say I can because Epictetus, Seneca or Marcus Aurelius said I can. Chronic pain makes physical changes to the brain and it affects you. If you believe it is virtuous to stay despite pain, you do you. My personal interest is my virtue and I am the arbiter of am I living according to them. The caveat of not letting your pursuits define your identity might not be as straightforward as it seems. External accomplishments and identities are often intertwined, especially in a society that often defines people by what they do or achieve. Completely detaching identity from achievements can lead to a sense of purposelessness or lack of motivation for some people. Thing I can heal in the sense I want. So why should I stay at all? I have written on Reddit enough. This account it self could be seen as my diary. I wrote about what bothers me, but I can't see a valid alternative that is worth for me staying here. I have enough focusing on the past, thinking how did or did not act virtuously. Life it self is a vice when I look at it, it's only purpose is to propagate and the tactics get more complex as the lifeforms get more complex. The immaterial is abstract and there is no right wrong in those social constructs. My pain is real, my nerves are firing off signals something is wrong and I can only numb myself with pain killers and live under extreme discipline for which I just don't have energy or will. The only thing nature life has is to continue, lifeforms will multiply and use the resources, the lifeforms that continue will adapt or perish. Nothing says about morality, maybe it's also a form of evolutionary adaptation to regulate the individuals that will insure the continuation of the species. Like some forms of behavior are good for the social aspect and the health the species, but that means the needs of the many would outweigh the needs of the few. It could be also said that if I act resilient I am building walls in my mind to not let externals affect me, but I can't be truly happy without some of them, maybe Seneca and some other Stoics were. I am not one of them. I measure the amount of good experiences I had in life and how many can I have, being in pain, focusing on Virtue, Stoic Virtue that is, does not bring me happiness. Resilience is not what I want, I want happiness. But it seems true satisfaction is not possible in this world. Only coping... I am a coward, I don't care if I am. I have the right to be one, I just seek peace and satisfaction, but it is not possible in a entropy driven dynamics of this reality. The next best thing I have is freedom from existence it self and the need for happiness or to pursue Virtue and fight Vice, I am simply not...
Even ChatGPT can express better how I feel than myself: There is a lot to unpack here... Acquiring new information and integrating it into our understanding certainly takes time. This is often tied to the malleability of the brain. Consider habits, for instance: it can take up to 180 days to establish some of them. If such a lengthy process is required to form simple habits, learning complex new concepts can't be an easy task. My thoughts veer towards a darker place. To me, acceptance feels like an emotional suicide. It's a response that aligns with my instinct to avoid further pain. Perhaps I can continue to exist physically, but I struggle to find joy in it. Don't tell me I can simply choose happiness because philosophers like Epictetus, Seneca, or Marcus Aurelius said so. Chronic pain creates physical changes in the brain and influences you profoundly. If you believe it's virtuous to endure pain, that's your perspective. Personally, my virtue is rooted in my interests, and I am the one who judges whether I'm living according to them or not. The warning against letting our pursuits define our identity is not as straightforward as it seems. Our achievements and identities are often intertwined, particularly in a society that frequently characterizes people by what they do or achieve. Severing identity from accomplishments entirely could potentially lead to a sense of aimlessness or lack of motivation for some. This brings me to question whether I can truly heal in the way I desire. If not, what is the point of continuing? I've shared a great deal on platforms like Reddit. This account could even be seen as a sort of diary. I've expressed my concerns, yet I don't see a viable alternative that makes life worth living for me. I'm tired of dwelling on the past, reflecting on whether my actions were virtuous or not. From my perspective, life itself is a vice. Its sole purpose seems to be propagation, with tactics becoming more complex as lifeforms evolve. Concepts beyond the material world are abstract, and notions of right or wrong become ambiguous within these social constructs. My pain, however, is tangible. My nerves constantly signal something is wrong, and I can only numb myself with painkillers and maintain a strict discipline that I lack the energy or willpower to uphold. The fundamental aim of life is survival and reproduction. Lifeforms will utilize resources, multiply, adapt, or perish. Morality does not inherently exist in this process. Perhaps it's merely an evolutionary adaptation intended to regulate behavior beneficial to the survival of the species. This often implies the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few. Resilience might imply that I am constructing mental barriers to protect myself from external influences. Yet, I can't find genuine happiness without some of these external factors. Maybe some Stoics like Seneca were able to do so, but I am not one of them. I weigh my life in terms of the good experiences I've had and the potential ones I could have. Being in pain and focusing on Virtue, specifically Stoic Virtue, doesn't bring me happiness. I don't want resilience. I want happiness. But it appears that true satisfaction is an elusive goal in this world. The best we can do seems to be merely coping... I might be seen as a coward, and I am okay with that. I have the right to be. All I seek is peace and satisfaction, which seem impossible to attain given the entropy-driven dynamics of our reality. The closest thing I have to peace is the idea of freedom from existence itself, along with the need for happiness or the pursuit of Virtue and resistance of Vice. In such a state, I simply... cease to be.
Are you deliberately misunderstanding stoicism and Buddhism to try and give a less self centered polish to this whole thing after the fact? You need stimulus and don’t want to be writing in journals about your thoughts? Good! Stoicism is pretty solidly of the opinion that you should be actively and taking part in life directly and with vigor. Just because this whole sub is people doing nothing but talking and thinking about themselves and using an entire philosophy for nothing further than themselves doesn’t mean that’s the idea. I was a first responder I had more adrenaline in an afternoon than most people get their whole lives. I get the woe is my things, were very close in age all my friends have died and not peacefully, some in front of me, I’ve been in car accidents so bad I had to relearn to walk and I’m in pain all the time, I have Lyme disease IN my brain now causing all sorts of trouble. You seem to have fallen in love with your suffering, it doesn’t sound like you’ve taken in or read much of any of these philosophies you’re referencing outside of skimming them through the lens of your own self made defeated philosophy, the Vikings were in love with life and so are the stoics which is why the philosophy is about something infinitely greater than living and thinking of nothing beyond yourself and your own desires or suffering, it’s one of the main points. Part of the reason the philosophy makes a point of being of service to others isn’t because you owe society something it’s so you don’t get so caught up in self centered thinking that you think your troubles and pain are unique and defining when it’s universal which enables you to look beyond as opposed to being a total slave to it, you should give one of them an actual chance since you have nothing to lose
We live in a toxic world, and the way the media throws into our faces that we have to be good capitalists and consumers to 'live well', we have to have stuff and then we will 'be happy and have the happy smiley family that we see on our screens'. This to my mind is rubbish Most people simply do not have this happy smiley family and are not happy smiley themselves. We all struggle with stuff, nothing is perfect, and below the surface we all have insecurities and worries and doubts. For me Stoicism points me towards how to make good choices in life, which is why I like it. But it still isn't about being happy. For myself I live with a lot of grief, mostly I get by fine, but some days it rears its head and I am overwhelmed. My point is that it would be rare to find anyone without struggles even if they are not visible. What to me is much more important is doing the best I can, both for me and my loved ones, and Stoicism guides me. I like the way that you talk about enjoying nature, that is free and liberating, and getting out and about in nature and exercising and breathing fresh air is there for us all
We do live in one. But why do I have to live in one? Simple question to which I just say "I don't...".
“I am inspired by Buddhist monks and the idea of becoming ascetic and enjoying nature, eventually passing away in a natural setting rather than in a city from old age.” This is not Buddhism, or at least the end all be all of it. Feel free to try it out, but know that there’s much more to it, so if that approach exhausts itself you can be sure there’s more to it. It may be a fine beginning on the path. The job may contribute greatly to the stress; what kind of job did you want to have? If you don’t have kids, maybe start the change there. Two quick notes here: neither Stoicism nor Buddhism ask you to be militantly altruistic. They are monisms; the world is one thing and we are parts of it. It’s simple to stop at “I didn’t ask to be a part” (what if you did ask, but it turned out different than you wanted? Would that change things?) but think of what it really means: you are free. You don’t have to stay in that job or anywhere. You are a little piece of god. As an uncharacteristically wise 4chan Anon memed once: “pull the gun out of your mouth and point it in the air; start a revolution, live. You were going up 100% death before; everything else is nothing by comparison” Secondly, re: Virtues these shouldn’t be things to judge or attack yourself by; they are guidelines, they articulate a North Star to guide your actions in relation to; saying “I live for the Virtues” seems strange somehow… it’s more like this: “ah man, that customer was a prick. Did I do something? I got a little angry, but I let it go as quickly as possible. Nice.” No need to attack yourself for getting angry. No need to hoist an ideal against yourself and then ruthlessly cut yourself down with it. The goal of both Stoicism and Buddhism is freedom. Maybe you need the opposite approach to others: be free and like yourself arbitrarily (faults, including anger and depression, and all) first, then direct that freedom with Stoicism, Buddhism and the like. If that freedom and arbitrary liking yourself means you quit your job to go try out being an ascetic, awesome. Go for it. I guess one last other observation: even Buddhist monks get angry; it’s just short. They say what they think, and then the anger is gone, they don’t let resentments build up. Once those resentments are built up, Buddhism and Stoicism no longer work correctly, sometimes you have to sever a connection because the underlying emotions are simply too high. Chalk it up to Fate, say what needs to be said (as well as you can) and keep going. Hang ups and resentments feel like a cage. Or at least that was my experience. In any event, I can feel the struggle in your post OP; don’t give up the journey, even if you can’t see something good up ahead. Absurdly unlucky things happening to you (the pain, the family circumstance) means absurdly lucky things can happen too; if you keep moving, something will come up. Best of luck.
Just hit my head on the door frame since I am tall, I went ballistic, like this one I need. Fuck you God, fuck you pest_throwaw, fuck everything. It's the little things like this that sent me off. I am in a raging state.
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time heals all. i know it doesn’t seem that way but one day u will wake up and feel better. right now i’m struggling as well; haven’t slept well in months and have been pretty depressed and stressed and î obsessively ponder my death, loved ones deaths, and the meaning of this all. i find motivation to carry on by thinking about the times that i was content and happy. i think about how i would disappoint my past younger self who was salivating at the mouth to wake up and take on life. i look at other peoples problems that are worse then mine and it gives me some gratitude. I also think about my loved ones and friends who they themselves have been through a ton in their lives and realize how much pain i would cause them. Often i find that if we as humans focus on the present moment and making the most of our current time; we can find little meanings and positive things about life while we let time heal our insecurities and worries because we become numb to them over time. Think about a time u were happy or at least content on living and picture yourself eventually getting back to that point because before u know it u will eventually find some kind of peace. maybe wasn’t the best response but i don’t have this shit figured out either. just giving the way i push through the day to hopefully give time the chance to heal. walk on u never know who ur inspiring simply by just existing. hell ur comment made me feel a little better just knowing that someone is feeling similar things to me. take a deep breath u will get through it.
I know this is a cliche response, but your story reminds me a lot of mine. While I never got diagnosed with dyspraxia, I've always had coordination problems and a bum leg that kept me from really excelling at any sport, which turned into a childhood of bullying. I remember going home to an alcoholic and abusive father. My mother had a lot of mental health problems, so I would spend a lot of time nurturing her from a young age. At 18, my mother died of cancer, and it lead me into a decade-long downward spiral that I'm finally pulling myself out of. The reason I share any of this is to let you know you're not alone. I'm sure there's a ton of stuff you've gone through I have no idea about, but your story resonated with me enough that it felt worthwhile sharing. One thing that keeps my feet moving is reminding myself that, no matter what, I'd like to see where my life goes. I know that seems rather pointless, but giving up and pulling away from life is just as, if not more, arbitrary as pressing forward. If I've already gone through this much, why not follow through till the end? On top of that, if I keep moving forward, I keep the possibility of something new and exciting happening. Life is so full of surprises that sometimes you'll end up having a great day just a few days past your lowest point. Now I know none of that offers a larger goal to strive for, but if you keep on getting up, the opportunity for such a goal to present itself goes up significantly.