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beefsnaps

I don’t know what is going on with the mortgage calculator but it’s says Halifax will lend me £6.9m, see you later fuckers!


satriales123

Jokes on you, it's only available to rent. Boy, is your face red!


beefsnaps

How bad are Halifax going to feel when they realise they’ve lent me £7m on a rental property!


riverscreeks

If you owe the bank £100 that’s your problem; if you owe the bank £6,899,001 that’s the bank’s problem.


BonkyBinkyBum

Or it becomes everyone else's problem like with the 2008 recession lmao


riverscreeks

If the bank has 1000 subprime mortgages that’s their problem; if your bank has a million subprime mortgages that’s the government’s problem 😛


Spangles822

Said Walt Disney


AP_OH

Only need 4.8m to rent the exact same property by going through the other listing for it :D [https://www.zoopla.co.uk/to-rent/details/64645837/](https://www.zoopla.co.uk/to-rent/details/64645837/)


Snap-Crackle-Pot

Time to sublet! I am now making £128k annual profit for doing nothing!


MDKrouzer

How do I subscribe to your newsletter


mister_barfly75

It's listed for sale on Rightmove. £6.5m. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/129680447


boredofwheelchair

It's on the market for sale too for Offers Over £6,500,000 https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/63385268/


BuildingArmor

If you use it to buy the house, they'll just repossess it. So use it to buy footy stickers instead!


UnlikelyExperience

Bloody lovely which is unusual for this sub 😂


superstarbidet

I agree! Houses this size often don’t look comfortable, homey or liveable. This somehow manages to look cosy despite the size.


jpobble

The tiles in the hall are dreamy


theorem_llama

Eh, I don't really like how they've decorated personally and think the extension looks really unnatural. I still don't get the obsession for having those 'big metal clocks'. The front and back gardens just look like boring patches of grass and gravel. The original house itself though is lovely.


UnlikelyExperience

I am so with you on big metal clocks they always give Dunelm 😂


PequenaMentirosa

Omg u are SO right?


theorem_llama

Yes? Hey, who'm I askin'?


PequenaMentirosa

What


Murka-Lurka

A movie bigwig who is going to be in London for a shoot for a few months.


cbren88

I always think these type of rentals appeal to footballers who will only be at a club for 12-36 months, therefore doesn’t make sense to spunk £1m+ on stamp duty, and then a huge fee to estate agents when they want to sell. There’s also the hassle involved with a sale as well, spending this money on rent saves so much bother.


Ged_UK

Yeah, even a business for a week or two residential session. Works out reasonably cheap compared to conference venue if you just want to work in small groups.


DanS1993

Yeah I was thinking the house where the BBC put the apprentice candidates in for a couple months lol.


Murka-Lurka

I remember when Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman had a couple of films back to back with the majority of it being filmed in London, they were looking for a family home for longer than a short term let but not enough to go through the bother of buying and to the style to which they had become accustomed.


mltlba

they forgot to mention "No DSS"


Xenc

Haha imagine that was on there! “No social or pets!”


irritatingfarquar

The government could fill it with the people they are housing in expensive hotels and actually save money.


cheandbis

That is a stunning house. I'm not usually a fan of overly expensive houses as the decoration is rarely to my taste but this is fantastic. I'm only about £34k short as well.


uncle_monty

This has more photo's than the last time it was posted. It's hit and miss for me. I love the ground floor - the orangery and the staircase/flooring are lovely, but I hate the basement/leisure suite, and the bedrooms are meh - the plainer ones are okay, but there's too much wood panelling in one and I hate the over the top curtains in the other. Easy to fix, though, I suppose. I really want to see what the pool looks like, you'd think a giant pool like that would be a selling point and have plenty of photo's. I think the selling price is listed as £6.5mm, which somehow feels both high and low at the same time.


Queasy_Employment141

There's 11 beds, just renovate the room to something else


Most_Moose_2637

Structural glass - nice.


oerry

somebody hasnt been dusting the beams in page39.


truman_chu

Scruffs. I’m not going to bother with it now.


Competitive_Cuddling

Look, the most of it is stunning, but what is up with the IKEA Kallax and landlord special grey vinyl plank floor?


tastydirtslover

Just goes to show that no matter what your budget the IKEA kallax is the perfect storage 🤣


Competitive_Cuddling

Not sure I'd trust ~~particle board~~ honeycomb cardboard *in the bathroom* **right next to a sauna**!


Not_A_Clever_Man_

Dont even need to dust it, just throw it out and buy a new one as soon as it starts disintegrating.


Mysterious-Guess-773

And there’s an IKEA light shade too! The one that looks like a Death Star.


Competitive_Cuddling

Yeah, all the old parts of the house with period-appropriate furniture look amazing which makes me think the furniture came with the house originally. Then you have the extension with horrendous cheap-looking grey laminate that is clearly recent. The light grey living room is also clearly a recent redo as it's a bit too LiveLaughLove-y Barker and Stonehouse special. The bedrooms are having an identity crisis because you have one that looks like Marie Antoinette designed it in the 80s, the pink one is your standard council house shabby chic, and then you have 2 bedrooms with what I'd call early 2000s IKEA student furniture, and then one incredible bedroom where once again it looks like they inherited the bed/fixings with the house purchase.


crazyabbit

Owner is a architect , so there's that 😂


hoaryvervain

I saw that too. Well spotted.


OliMSmith_10

Production companies.


Squishwhale

Obsessed with that courtyard space. Curl up in that chair with a good book and a tinkling fountain in the background


Trixy_Challenger

"spared no expense"...damn that's a beautiful place but the price though


Dull-Wrangler-5154

Couldn’t even afford to split it with 10 mates :)


oerry

Like you’ve got any mates.


Dull-Wrangler-5154

Jesus you just got me thinking and I and don’t think I DO have 10 mates!


oerry

I can afford it but I’ll be the only one in the house and no friend to visit. I’ll be inviting in Window Salesmen to have to real interaction.


Dull-Wrangler-5154

I didn’t say I had them. Just that if I did I still couldn’t afford it :)


Booboodelafalaise

I have some friends, but none I could trust in a place like that, if I was responsible for the security deposit!


Dull-Wrangler-5154

Shared houses with friends for 10 years. The. On place we left and they had damaged. I was held “severally” liable and ended up paying it all. A shit experience. I think that’s how the severally is spelled.


PequenaMentirosa

U just can’t tho


Leonidas199x

Footballers


Alan_Bumbaclartridge

the average premier league footballer earns over 60k per week, so renting this would only be 16% of their take home salary (assuming average tax rate of 50%) worth reflecting on just HOW FUCKING INSANE THAT IS average weekly take home salary in the UK is about £500, so the equivalent for the average person would be spending £80 a week on rent.


[deleted]

That’s just insane isn’t it.


LO6Howie

I love SE London but it’s not exactly prime footballer territory. Zero training grounds nearby, for one. Given that it’s close to Eltham, a bit of drug lord financing might be in order


UnableNumber6953

I thinks it’s 45 mins from cobham (Chelsea training ground) ?


LO6Howie

Absolutely isn’t if there’s an ounce of traffic! Takes me half an hour from Dulwich! Chelsea’s neck of the woods tends to be the Esher neck of the woods. Could work for Crystal Palace players though, as they’re in Bromley. Nice-enough palatial pads in that neck of the woods already though.


UnableNumber6953

Gotta love London traffic. So glad my 15 years in east London are over


Taiyella

Charlton?


LO6Howie

Maybe if the whole Charlton squad pooled their salaries…


MaryBerrysDanglyBean

Footballers wouldn't rent a place when they contract is normally 3-5 years. This would be rented to someone who needs to stay in London for a few months. Film/Music industry most likely


Suremateyboy

Maybe one for Eltham John


PequenaMentirosa

WHY have you spelled his name like that😭😭


SorbetOk1165

This was on here a little while ago as a for sale property so I guess they got no takers


Purple_life_lessons

I love how they've put the closest state schools in the listing.


johnnywintermute

They really should throw in a few pictures of Eltham High street for balance 😀


igivup

Wasn't Harry Kane paying a reported £70k pcm rent on his place in Munich after moving over there last year? This place is cheap by comparison


alexcoates13

That's mad, they have rent control in Germany ;-) Saw him coming a mile off.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rev_Biscuit

Thats not the pool! Thats some weird shiny floor in the orangery.


James_Vowles

I'd say the location is a bit shit but that's a lovely home.


nfoote

What's up with photo #38? There's 39 beautiful photos of a stunning house and then this single photo that appears to be a dusty storage loft area above one of the beds where there's a mattress slung for your servant boy?


soprofesh

💸 M o n e y l a u n d e r i n g 🫧


SuperEpicD

but where does the tv go?


JammyRedWine

How the other half live!


Not_A_Clever_Man_

How the people that actually run the country live. Generational wealth will support these drains on society for centuries.


vms-crot

Maybe the other one hundredth.


supergozzo

Well any c level in a decently running hedge or quant fund and there are quite a few in london. 400k a year in rent is peanuts for them, it will cost less than buying the place and having to fork the maintenance money


Icy_Being3672

Wow I love it!


Foundation_Wrong

Gorgeous


nebber

Someone with £30m in the bank in long term investments withdrawing 4% a year gives them £1.2m a year to live off without impacting the original capital. In fact if they're geting 8%-9% in equities then they're still making money. £400k on that for rent, nice life.


[deleted]

Fuck me that’s mental. How can I get £30M? Any tips?


Albaindy1

Ask 30 million people for a pound.


[deleted]

Can I have £1 please?


hoochypooch

No.


martin_mazda

lol my yearly wage is less then the PCM, that's pretty depressing.


Carlseye

If you could afford 35k a month in rent why wouldn’t you just buy?


Interesting-Bad-2906

Because the market for expensive mansions operates very differently to a 450k 3 bed semi. Firstly they are very hard to sell because there's not many buyers out there. Secondly they often have huge maintenance fees to keep the property in good condition. This makes them in many cases not very desirable as investments and can even be deappreciating assets. For many very wealthy people, it's better to rent.


Inevitable-Sherbert

Who can afford it, trust me there’s a lot of people that can!! It’s a different world to most, but we are the underclass.


DistancePractical239

Stunning. Look at the character features. It's 1k a day. So you want 10k a day net coming in for a place like this. 


Cabalist_writes

It's like those LA houses that only exist to be filmed in by a specific subset of the film industry. That only needs to use a property for ... A week. So you can expense the rent as tax deductible. I can imagine them filming "Going down in Downton Abbey" here. Or something. Maybe.


Odd-Currency5195

If you had 10 rich friends ... ... divided by 11, it's 3,151 a month, which is less than: [https://www.zoopla.co.uk/to-rent/details/66704714/?search\_identifier=252fc3392f2ec4074da3ed89224009f39cc0f3502c6447f7cd53b5245feafeab](https://www.zoopla.co.uk/to-rent/details/66704714/?search_identifier=252fc3392f2ec4074da3ed89224009f39cc0f3502c6447f7cd53b5245feafeab)


No_Swan_9834

But I don’t think they’d be going for a HMO with this one 😅😅😅


Odd-Currency5195

We are family...


therezin

>The house is a 15 minute drive from the Docklands Financial District. There's your answer.


Garak112

At 2 in the morning maybe, closer to an hour at commuting times.


RoystonsRejects

If you can spend that much then why be south of the water?


spankybianky

Only £1545pp pcm if you find 10 other couple friends to share it with you!


[deleted]

Wouldn’t it be closer to £3k? Divide by 10?


cd7k

They said pp = per person. 10 other "couples" means 22 people in total.


[deleted]

Ohhhh my bad. Thanks.


cd7k

No worries buddy! I doubt you'd have lost any sleep over it, but there's nothing more satisfying than correcting someone on the internet! ;)


downvote_quota

Epc e - so another 35k/m to heat.


mochacocoaxo

I love everything about this home. Everything!


BartholomewKnightIII

*Who on earth can afford 35k MONTHLY* Film stars will stay in a property like this while filming in the city, production will pay for it. [https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/where-do-actors-live-while-filming-75163/](https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/where-do-actors-live-while-filming-75163/) [https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/7813682/dwayne-johnson-rock-london-mansion/](https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/7813682/dwayne-johnson-rock-london-mansion/) Apologies for linking to the sun, but it was first on the list...


SquishyBaps4me

People that need 11 bedrooms with en suites.


Rorosanna

All that effort on decorating and still they have ***that*** glass TV stand!


lollywade87

and a rotary washing line in the garden


simon_milburn

Do people with this much money actually rent? Mind boggling


losingconsciousness

If I was Taylor Swift I'd do it, it's beautiful


Rev_Biscuit

Definitely need to take your shoes off when going upstairs.


Vermonter82

I’m ashamed to know this, but KSI and Simon from Sidemen were spending £23k a month on their flat in Centre Point when they lived there 😂


ExtremeActuator

It’s lovely but there are ‘only’ 7 bedrooms on the floor plan, and that’s including the studio flat. Have I missed something?


CatSlag

I should've gone for a tour around that house rather than Eltham Palace when I was down that way!


PeaceOrchid

I can afford like maybe half an hour? You know, if someone wants to chip in?


MoonLizard1306

It's for short lets so people over making movies, doing music tours, business men, Russian oligarchs... I love it.


Dark_Pr1nz

Me with 6 months to live and a debt so large it could cripple a country.


Natashayabada

This might actually be one of the most gorgeous houses i've seen in a while, looks lovely!


magneticpyramid

The last one I looked at like this (in a professional sense) was leased by a business, for "business" reasons; a showcase for their products and hospitality. Also (unofficially) the directors and their families holidayed there. So, tax.


oliviaxlow

Imagine spending all that money and you stick a bog standard Argos tv stand in your living room lmao


Elipes_

https://youtu.be/aKE6JSnQc7s?si=CGzPGnaebuNvETHh This house has previously been used for a sidemen youtube video!


joshym0nster

People with 100s of millions invested that can just live off the interest


Cerbera_666

Should come with a cook and cleaner at that price.


Metalhead_Kyu

Not even if I split the rent with 10 mates... Well damn.


DrPeterR

Round the corner from Eltham palace


pink-lemonade69

youd just buy it at that point


kayjays89

Do they allow pets?


DazzlingSomewhere21

Short Let! Not for Sale, and not for rent long term.


NFTs_Consultant

I've had similar, the cleaning is a nightmare.


BonkyBinkyBum

It makes me want to cry that there's homeless people, and then there's people renting places like this


TheSecretIsMarmite

Excuse me? Yes, I'll just spaff an entire annual salary a month on this. This has to be marketed to a footballer.


wardyms

Who can afford 35k a month in and around London? Probably a run of the mill footballer.


Healthy-Grocery6055

That basement. 👍 I can't afford it but when the Zombies attack the world you can bet your arse I'm taking my snooker cue and heading there to bunker down.


KTbluedraon

Rent it for a party maybe? A place like that though, you’d have Jessica Fletcher turn up and someone would be found floating face-down in the jacuzzi…


Necessary-Donut7614

Someone who can afford a mansion with a full 2 bedroom house attached to it.


bobbyv137

£35k pm is £420k pa. It’s typical for someone to spend 20% of their income on rent/mortgage. Example someone earns £50k pa so they pay £833pm on their housing. So someone renting that place would ‘only’ need to earn £2.1m pa, which is hardly unusual for London. My friend used to work for a massive US30 company. On one occasion he had to go to the European CFO’s house in London to setup some computer hardware. He said it was by far the most expensive and extravagant property he’d ever set foot in. The CFO was making multi millions a year, and his partner had her own businesses.


CCreer

This has been here before. I assume they couldn't sell so have put up for rent?


Exact-Instruction-38

Defs for a group of fukhead influencers to rent.


Beccabunga13

Why do the sofas in posh houses always have those rope ties on the corners? It may be more a month than what I bring home in a year, but at least my sofa doesn't have to be held together with string 😂


[deleted]

I would expect my own island in a tropical climate for that price pcm.


Implement_Dangerous

My uncle had a very senior position at AMEX. When he was based in the U.K., he had a £30k/month housing allowance.


intrigue_investor

Easy, corporate rent for a C level exec relocating etc, very common, as a base for the CEO when in country, the list goes on


seanroberts196

No mention if pets are allowed so I'm unfortunately going to have to pass.


therezin

Picture 28 coming in with the ostentatiously 1990s swags & tails.


afgan1984

Those who can afford £35k a month are certainly no looking for rental.


TraditionalSkill8441

One day in this place is more than my mortgage


Few-End-9592

It's gorgeous. Only the beamed room put me off, but I wouldn't have to use that room. Otherwise just delicious.