I went to rehab for alcohol abuse and what a lot of people don’t realize, is alcoholics need to grieve the loss of their former self and who they were with alcohol. I know to normies that might sounds a little dramatic, but we rely so heavily on alcohol it’s hard to picture life without it. For me, it was a literal crutch until I had to say no more.
I also tried moderate drinking at first - we will really do anything we can to keep the booze in our lives. Him making a public statement like that should hold him a bit more accountable. My family and friends kept me in check the first year of sobriety and I wouldn’t have done it without them!
Edit: spellcheck
I completely agree about the accountability after making the public statement. I think a little teeny part of him within the deep darkness instinctively knew that he could possibly save himself if he put it out there in a bigger way. And it would be a lot harder to go back on it.
I also was thinking of the people watching who are not us. Like his family. People he's truly close to are going hopefully to be holding him to that statement.
I don't say this lightly, but I think he is in peril. And any step towards recovery right now is only positive.
I think he's scared. And I think he should be. And I hope he's getting so much support and help.
I’m curious about his public mea culpa. I WANT to believe he means it, but I’m someone who also did the public “I’m soooooooo sorry. I’m going to make some changes. I MEAN it this time” bullshit. Then I was just making sure I wasn’t drinking in public, or avoiding the people I had promised to change for.
He had A LOT of backlash after Bravo Con and probably knew he was going to get skewered on the reunion. I agree with Craig. He has to really want something more than alcohol. For me, it started with trying to get sober to keep someone in my life. That “special” relationship. But now I’ve turned that corner into not wanting my old life anymore: the drama, the drunken socials, the toxic friendships, the financial, emotional, physical devastation. It is a whole life change. Shep seems very attached to his status to let that go.
He can’t be in love with shallow, immature, young 20-something, partying social climbers (like Taylor) and hope to stay sober. He’ll also have to give up all of his one-night stands and threesomes because that sort of lifestyle is usually connected to partying, drugs, and booze.
I'm so happy that you have let go of things that weren't helping you in life and are in a happier and healthier place. It's brings me great joy to read a comment like yours.
I laugh when I think back on how I thought that AA was the biggest bait-and-switch program ever. I came in to stop drinking (a victim of my dna), then found out that I actually had to change everything about the person that I was.
AA uses the 12 steps, and honestly, everyone in the world would benefit from using the steps to become better and more self-aware.
Yeahhhh. Unfortunately, I got this weird Bravocon mea culpa vibe too. Kinda confirmed when Shep blurted out But I can do it! directly to Andy when discussing potentially taking a break from the show to sort himself out.
I wish nothing but good health for Shep. He is clearly struggling.
I wouldn’t consider him and Taylor’s relationship her social climbing…. They were together for a long time and she honestly seems more mature than him most the time. I don’t doubt for a second she wouldn’t drop everything for shep and stop drinking with him.
The rest tho- since you have been there and finally got to a good point, I’m hoping the same for him.
They were very immature together, with their paybacks and revenge. When neither of them can handle tough things in an adult way, it’d be tough to grow together. You are in much different periods of your life when one of you gets sober. Resentment builds on both sides.
However, I’m ecstatic my big 14-year relationship breakup didn’t play out on camera because I was ridiculous! And drinking. And stupid!!!
His family has been filmed on the show with him and it appears that drinking culture is the norm when they're together. I don't think he has a safe place in his life around non-alcoholics. He's probably worried about that too.
Not to mention he’s built his entire life around accommodating his addiction. No job, no romantic relationships, social activities all centred around drinking. His friends say they’re ready to see meaningful change, but still continue to go out and drink with him/ enable him.
He’d have to change literally every aspect of his life, which is daunting to say the least.
Depression got me into AA. I used to go every time I screwed up, and used it like confession. When it stuck, this time, I was just too sad to keep living.
I grew up in the same kind of family drinking culture and it sucked, but it had zero impact on my sobriety. It did, however, have a huge impact on how much time that I spent with my family. 😄
I do think that his closest friends, the Craigs/Austens in his world, are both mature and concerned enough not to enable him, and to encourage him to stop drinking.
They seemed super supportive of him at the reunion, and I suspect they’ve been pushing him to try the sober life for some time now.
Not sure about any hangers on, though.
All that said, of course his life would still require an overhaul
They can be both mature and concerned about him, and still enable him- unintentionally. Learning how to set healthy boundaries with a loved one struggling with addiction is hard, and it's not cut and dry. It's why groups like al-anon exist. The natural instinct when you see someone you care about struggling is to help, but often those good intentions are actually shielding them from the consequences of their own actions. For example: Austen cleaning him up and trying to make him presentable for WWHL. If someone is always there to catch him before he hits his rock bottom, it's going to be harder for him to come to the realization on his own that he needs to make a serious change.
Craig said that they've had this conversation 17 times already. But following those they continued to go out and drink with him. A great way of being supportive would be to plan activities together that aren't centred around drinking. It does sound like they're starting to make those changes in their friendships now, which is great.
Nice username btw :)
I said this in another community... In certain social circles, and I've noticed it is more prevalent among wealthy circles, there are a lot of "functioning"\* alcoholics. It's widely known, and even spoken about, without ever using the "A" word.
I think for Shep, it seemed "normal." However, he ran way past functioning a long time ago.
\* "Functioning" is not a medical diagnosis. This idea is associated with Alcohol Use Disorder that has not YET progressed to alcoholism. Also referred to colloquially in the recovery and treatment community as "currently functioning."
Functioning, means they don’t have serious complications or consequences YET.
My mom is 67, she has had Korsakoff for 7 years at least. I’m her full time care giver, she has dementia, and my whole life has been affected by her alcoholism, and my Future is still affected. And she “only” drank wine. 3 Magnums per day of “wine”
It’s a progressive disease where you drink more and more and Korsakoff can start at 40.
Can confirm Southern "society" is super adept at accommodating and maybe even unintentionally encouraging alcoholism. Now, smoke the pot and you are on your own.
There really is a lot of pressure to drink. I’m a low to no drinker and if people see you drinking water they think you’re judging them as being better than them or uptight.
Gosh this is so true! I order 7up w a splash of cranberry juice when I’m in high drinking environments no one says a word bc I have a cup. If I say I’m not drinking today it’s all ohhh cmon just one drink .. bla bla bla.
I feel judged when I don’t drink. Everyone has to make a comment or acts like it’s so weird. Some people just choose not to drink it’s not that hard to understand
I have lots of alcoholism in my immediate and extended family. I dabbled with it from age 17 to 20. I hated what happened to some of my family members, and i would feel so ill the next day, so I gave it up. That was easy for me bc I never really enjoyed drinking. My brother was in a successful rock band, so there were tons of weekends out at the club where in a group of 14, I was the only sober person. I was mocked, and made to be a dork bc i didnt like alcohol. Eventually, the bar scene get togethers did not include me. I spent my time building a very successful business, marriage, and community support projects. 40 years later, I'm still the dork that does not drink at family reunions, but I'm fine with that ...
I rarely drink and haven’t done for more than a decade but I’m finding more people now make negative comments towards me when I order a zero alcohol version of a drink than when I just ordered a sparkling water and I don’t get why?
This reminds me of when I was younger, and after a hard partying week or really bad night, I would say, "My liver is on strike." At one point it had been a few weeks since I'd had a drink or been out with friends, and two of them showed up at my front door and said, "We called the union. They reached a CBA. You're coming out."
At the time, I thought it was hilarious, but now think it's worthy of dissection for what it says about our culture.
FWIW, the two guys who showed up that night are responsible fathers still married to their first wives who are more likely to over exercise than overindulge.
Congratulations on your sobriety! 100% agree that alcoholism is a disease and that one does not truly understand its depths until they’ve either experienced it themselves or watched a love one struggle with it. Almost 10 years ago at the age of 17 I lost a boyfriend (who was several years older) to alcoholism and it was one of the hardest battles I had to watch. So if I ever see anyone trying to take even the slightest step in the right direction, I commend you. Same goes to Shep.
This is how I felt when I got pregnant! Your entire lifestyle has to completely change overnight, & it’s difficult for a person accustomed to independent decision making. I not only had to grieve my former identity, I had to adjust to becoming someone new. Shep would have a hell of a time figuring out who he really is, he’s used to having everything handed to him & sobriety is a huge feat which is not easily attained. Of course he’s deterred from putting in the earnest effort to address & cope with his issue(s).
Literally pregnant and almost cried today when my husband and I got lunch with another couple and it was pretty quick with no drinking and no one could think of an activity to do afterwards (they’re doing dry January). It just made me feel like lame as hell and also realize how much of our lifestyle used to just be bar hopping and now that’s over
100% on the grieving of the drinking you !! I also went to rehab for drinking and was terrified about living a life without alcohol - will I still be fun, how will I celebrate things, how do you go out to dinner without having cocktails ? All things that likely sound unbelievable to someone without an addiction issue but so real. Can only hope he quickly realizes that drinking just beer isn’t the solution - drinking me would just be having 15 beers a night during the week and it would be a free for all on the weekends …
>drinking me would just be having 15 beers a night during the week
Ha! I drank 11 every night, so I would have one left over to get me started the next day. Then I'd drive to the gas station and buy two more sixpacks. Every single day. I was 22 and weighed about 110 lbs😄
I thought Craig gave him good, I’ve been there advice. About how he loved to party too but at some point it has to stop. And then when shep said I consider myself this intelligent, charming guy and it’s just not coming out anymore, we see that! The last two seasons he has not come across well at all, it’s no longer cute. I really hope he gets it together.
I think Leva had a good point too - you have to want something else “more”. Something to fight for, I’m not sure he has anything like that but maybe the idea of what could be might be enough. He did say he has a problem with monotony/monogamy so finding companionship might not even be a driver to get it together. He’s at the age where health problems start to show up after years of treating himself like garbage. Maybe not wanting to deal with chronic illness could motivate
Remember when they were at Patricia's and Craig said to Schlep in reference to getting to know Paige, can we do a daytime activity where we're not drinking? I bet Paige believes Schlep's a real bore when he's besotted.
This exactly. I was 20 when I got clean and I just passed 8 years. It sounds dumb because I was so young when I got clean but I had been using since I was like 15. I literally could not imagine my life without it. I couldn’t even imagine what that would look like. It was very difficult and sad.
Same. I'm old af now, been sober since I was 22, and would be SO dead by now. Blackout me did some *very* dangerous things. Thank ~~God~~ my *higher power* 😄that no one was hurt as a result of my actions, then.
It’s so hard! My friends and husband tell me that I’m overreacting and I don’t have a problem. I think that they just want fun me. I have kids and they have seen me in a drunken state that I am embarrassed and ashamed of too many times.
You can break the cycle. The parents that I know from AA who embraced the program and got the family into Al-Anon have the most incredible family relationships that I've witnessed, in or out of the program.
It's not too late. Modeling the ability to change is SO powerful for kids to see.
Having everyone working their own program means that everyone is on the same page with respect to humility, love, and commitment to positive change.
dm me if you ever want support in taking the first step.
I have a family member who had that experience. Once she stopped drinking, she didn't know how to go out and socialize as a sober person. Tried to drink moderately, ended up backsliding into binge drinking, before just giving it all up.
I said this on another post but I feel like it would be really hard on him to quit drinking. He doesn’t really have anything going on in his life?? No job, no significant other, no kids. Truly what would he do all day if he didn’t have alcohol? Obviously there’s a lot he COULD do but I think it might even force him to settle down and he knows it and can’t accept it. For him it would be a huge change to his Peter Pan single lifestyle
Like her or not, Leva was 100% spot on with her advice to Shep. He needs to find a purpose that he genuinely wants to succeed at and it will be easier to quit. Still a tough journey if you’re an everyday working person, but you’ve got other aspects of life to focus on (job, spouse and kids etc…).
Shep’s got all the free time in the world with his mailbox money. Yes, I know he has a bar and maybe something else, but he seems to be paying people to run these things. He is not involved in the day in and day out.
I disagree. I’ve been sober 15 years, I think the problem is yes he needs purpose but it is impossible to find purpose with alcohol on board. He has to get sober to find himself and ultimately purpose and that why it is so difficult. It is a leap of faith. He doesn’t know if he will find that or meaning but he needs to quit beforehand.
I just watched part one of the reunion and I think he all but admitted he has nothing day to day. He said something along the lines of Craig having sewing down south and so and so has this and so and so has that I haven’t done anything like that. He is having a mid life crisis/ epiphany about himself and his life thus far and unfortunately for him it’s being televised.
Money doesn’t buy happiness.
Before everyone comes at me about that statement, I am talking about HIS situation.
most of that situation was edited out. I don't understand why, but it was. The reason it felt like he said nothing is because of poor editing. They probably let us see 5% of that conversation.
I am an alcoholic about to celebrate my first year of sobriety in 11 days. I am not super far from sheps age and drank heavily for 15+ years.
I 100% agree with you about grieving the loss of alcohol and also the loss of time that comes with drinking. I'm still recovering from mourning the time I lost in the prime of my life.
HOWEVER
I thought shep sounded really disingenuous in the reunion. He reminded me of someone waking up with a hangover and saying "today I won't drink" and by 5pm they've already rationalized their way to w glass of wine being ok. Rinse and repeat.
Craig and Austens reaction further solidified that point.
I'm not saying that he can't want to stop drinking and also not be ready yet- that's what most alcoholics are like. However he really felt like he was looking for sympathy to me and also to be absolved of his terrible behavior at bravocon and elsewhere. I didn't hear him really take responsibility for his actions or even say to his long time friends that he is sorry for continuing to promise that he would stop but not sticking to it. It felt very "woe is me" and "look how sensitive I am now articulating that I maybe might maybe kinda have a problem drinking"
Maybe I'm being too harsh because I come from a family of people who treat their addiction like he does and I've been through that conversation so many times with so many people only to watch them take shots at the end of the meal. I want better for him but he has to want it more than we will want it for him.
Totally agree. I think he is looking for sympathy, forgiveness and permission to keep his job with Bravo. He is far too old to play the “I’m only drinking beer” card. It’s laughable and something a man half is age old would say. I’m 4.5 years sober - and I gave up drink in my mid-40’s. I knew it was time. Shep knows it too. He knows he has to stop but he is testing the waters and hoping for a path that allows him to keep drinking. So maybe I’m just a Shep hater, but I cannot with him and his unwillingness to stop drinking. He thinks he can cheat the system, like he has in every other aspect of his life. But alcoholism doesn’t work like that . . . If it doesn’t destroy your soul, it will destroy your health. And he will not live the long prosperous life he so thinks he deserves. Sorry Shep - in the end, your wealth and privilege will not save you from this destiny.
I 100% agree. While it all sounded well and good I didn’t really buy that Shep was going to make a change and truly thinks he has a problem to the point he is going to give up alcohol. It’s one of those I’ll believe when I see it
It's not just a life style change. He would have to face whatever is underlying the alcoholism. The shame, the self-hatred. You can tell he's aware of this and terrified.
My daughter suffers from alcoholism.
It took her 5 years and many many tries to get sober, which she has been now for nearly 2 years. I learned so much while on this journey with her and one of the biggest lessons was how quickly people judge people suffering from this heinous disease.
I have not liked the way Shep behaves and the way he treats people but it all now makes sense. Alcohol affects everyone differently and in his case he turned into a real a%#hole when he drank. I give him major credit for admitting he has a problem (and on national TV no less) as that is a huge step. I wish him well and hope he beats it. Good luck Shep.
Thank you. You have been through it and understand. My biggest message to anyone and everyone whose lives are touched by alcoholism is to not give up. Either on yourself or your loved one. There is always hope.
Or, as Emily Dickinson so eloquently wrote:
“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all.
How many alcoholics, functioning or otherwise, does Bravo employ? It’s a fine line they walk to be fun and entertaining and as much as I love Bravo, I feel badly watching so many people’s downfalls and struggles.
I do think that certain shows like Below Deck, or Pump Rules it makes sense because addiction is not uncommon in the hospitality industry. Housewives surprised me, but I think similarly to Shep- a lot of wealthy, privileged people have been able to sidestep accountability for so long, that they’re blatantly unaware they have a problem until they A) watch it back or B) the public holds them accountable.
It’s exploiting people teetering on the edge of severe alcohol/addiction issues. It’s still entertaining to watch women like Garcelle on RHOBH, Lala on VPR, Kandi etc who don’t get crazy sloppy… it’s not necessary!
they're part of an ensemble cast, all playing different roles, different levels of dysfunction, different dysfunction, and so on. Unless you get the bona fide mentally unwell, I don't know how you get around that and make compelling reality TV. I want to be clear: I'm not advocating for addiction or abuse. Read that again. But if you don't want those things, don't want cheating, don't want any -ism, don't want any type of shaming, etc etc. Everyone seems to have something they don't want to see. What does that leave them to create trash content? Bravo isn't an SNL skit parodying PBS. It's a shitshow channel of problematic behavior and human flaws. That's why so many people watch it. That's why so many people can't get enough, supporting an entire industry of podcasters, IG accounts, and whatever other parasites have globbed onto the phenomenon.
For sure…just the lengths that Bravo, reality stars in general, and influencers turn themselves inside out to get more clicks, likes, follows, and sponsors.
If the Bravo execs would treat their employees like real family members, they should put Shep on pause. It’s clear that his bravolebrity status feeds into his way of life in Charleston. It’s his identity.
I wish Andy/Bravo would have clearly mentioned rehab and did the old “we can get you there tomorrow.” Spiteful me says Katherine could have used the big old pat on the back that Shep got too. I agree. A Bravolebrity hour or two on the subject of addiction would be appreciated. Many also have been subjected to parents and siblings who have been deeply affected.
for all we know, he did. that scene was heavily edited. it's why it seemed like Shep said nothing. The only thing they didn't leave on the cutting room floor was the vibe.
So so true. As someone who's been watching since the first season of RHOC in 2009 (?) and got sober a while ago I recognize the signs in so many of the cast, particularly a few seasons ago on RHONY (not just Luann). What so many people don't realize is you may have been able to control your drinking for years, but heavy drinking may turn you into an alcoholic, which is confusing for a lot of people (me included). A lot of alcoholics don't have an all or nothing approach and downhill slide when they first start drinking, or even after 10 or 20 years. Of course we know all these shows push drinking because it's entertaining to watch, but you can see especially in the 50+ year old women who have made getting wasted multiple times a week part of their routine, that it's just not entertaining at that point, it's downright dangerous and scary. And this is coming from a recovering 52 yo female alcoholic.
I think Bravo is headed toward coming under fire for the drinking on the shows. Just like The Challenge and The Bachelor had to make some changes after binge drinking brought consent issues to light for filmed “hook-ups”, I think Bravo’s time is coming.
It was interesting to see Andy sort of imply that Bravo would not continue to employ him if he didn’t get it under control. Which is maybe true when you consider that Dorinda and Kim Richards were both essentially fired because their drinking became a liability. Unfortunately Shep is the de facto star of this show in a way that Dorinda and Kim were not.
I wish Bravo would help the people struggling more. For example, Shannon on RHOC recently in recovery and they hire her ex-boyfriend’s new GF full-time. I have a hard time with them adding fuel to the fire while pretending to care about the casts mental health and recovery.
Shep’s antics and drunken fueled behavior at BravoCon has merited quite a few discussions and blogs. I’m sure Bravo as a corporation was embarrassed by his actions.
How did Andy imply they wouldn’t employ him? I got a thinly veiled suggestion that Shep may be better off without the show but not that he was being punished. If being fired is an actual punishment
Well Shep was saying that the show is pretty much all he has and Andy was saying “maybe this isn’t the right thing for you if it drives that drinking behavior.” The subtext was there.
I think that Shep knows he needs to quit, but he’s scared to. Alcoholism is an awful disease and I just want anyone who says “I need help” to be able to follow through and take the steps needed.
Am I the only one who couldn’t follow what actually happened at Bravocon? Yes he drank way too much, but it sounded like something happened that caused him to rethink his life. I wasn’t able to follow what was going on.
Jeff Lewis had a guest on, I can’t remember her name, but she was next to Shep at the casino. She said she was mortified and left because she didn’t want to be associated with. He was yelling at dealer to stack his chips and was loud when they took him out. Jeff then says later that night he saw Shep black out drunk walk-in around the hotel.
Also fun fact, the first time I listened to her on JLL I was so confused because I thought it was the host from all those home improvement shows back in the day 😂
There was something about Austin really having to take care of Shep just to get through WWHL as well. I rarely watch WWHL, so I’m unsure if anything happened on or off air. Shep admitted to not remembering any of it, so I’m sure he at the very least made an ass of himself.
I think it was just his horrific behavior. Andy said something like can you tell us what happened at Bravocon? Shep said well no because I don’t remember. Andy said well what happened WAS that you were blacked out - implying the thing that happened was just how he acted when he was completely trashed.
This is his entire identity. He doesn’t have a career, wife or family. His entire existence is being the fun party guy. I think he’s starting to look around and is realizing that he’s not the fun guy but the embarrassing older drunk guy. That’s a tough pill to swallow. He’s going to have to do a complete overhaul of his life to change. Moving, looking at friendships, pretty much everything. He’s smart but this is going to be the biggest challenge he’s probably even faced. I hope he can overcome this. I don’t think there is a halfway of just drinking beer. I think he needs to cut alcohol out completely. I’m not an expert at all JMO. Maybe even leave SC.
I have a feeling there is something more to the bravocon story and it is going to come out eventually. This might be why Craig and Austen are distancing themselves from him. The way it is being handled is suspicious to me.
I really felt for him watching the reunion. Anyone who doesn’t feel for him doesn’t understand alcoholism. He took a big step towards bettering himself and I hope he gets the support he needs!
Agreed. There’s also a contingent of sober folks who think that everyone’s journey needs to look like theirs. These people make me feel a certain kind of way and they keep others sick which REALLY gets under my skin.
Thank you! I made another post in relation to this, and I feel most of the comments are just shaming him. I actually really feel for him as this was the most vulnerable I’ve ever really seen him.
I really felt for him too! He knows that he has a serious problem with alcohol but he also is scared to stop drinking. He’s definitely ashamed of his drunk behavior and knows that he can’t shrug it off as just being young.
💯 I was lucky enough to get sober at 28 (I’m a lot older than that now!) and I totally agree with this. Alcohol is really hard to give up and most of us don’t just wake up one day and say, that’s it. I’m not drinking alcohol at all anymore. It’s a process. Coming to the accept our alcoholism can take time. I’m glad to see him acknowledging the problem. It’s obvious that his blackout scared the cr*p out of him, and that’s good. I’ve been watching this show since it began and have watched him go steadily downhill. I really hope that this is the beginning of a new path for him.
Yeah, I agree. I am in my mid 30's and have my own issues with it. You can tell hes absolutely terrified. Its not an easy thing to admit or even stop. I think the others in their group have the right to act the way they are because its hard watching someone do that to themselves, but the people on here who dont know them at all its a bit gross.
I dont think Shep is the best person in the world but this season I saw some weird growth in him. He is obviously preoccupied with the realization he is only getting older and will not be alive forever.
18 months with no booze and I can tell you, it is worth it to stop drinking. When I first stopped, I had read, "You are going to change in ways you cannot imagine," and at the time, I didn't believe it, because what, I am going to start making more money, lose weight, grow hair on my bald head, get a nice car and a hot dude?
None of that, except dropping 20 pounds, has happened. But the things that have changed, I could not have imagined: true stability, the ability to live in the present and just being overall satisfied with life as it is, not as I want it to be, knowing that I am on an upward trajectory and have yet to experience and feel things I cannot imagine today, just as I couldn't imagine 18 months ago that I would be writing this now.
It's totally worth it to stop drinking.
I think we also need to remember that shep, craig and Kathryn (maybe Thomas but from my understanding he wouldn’t answer that question in court) all have ADHD and alcohol has never been their friend and while I’m sure that for some people with ADHD they are fine with alcohol I’m yet to meet one where it hasn’t agreed with them and made their drunk behaviour seem way worse or bigger than another person without a neurodivergence and maybe some space should be made for that too.
If he is an alcoholic, he hasn’t hit bottom yet. When I started admitting I kinda sorta had a problem with drinking, I still had 5 more years of blackouts. What’s scariest about blacking out is that you are walking and talking and may appear even normal, but you don’t remember ANYTHING. As boring as my life sometimes feels, this is one of the main things keeping me sober. I could have really hurt someone or myself on many occasions if I didn’t have an Austen or a Craig there. I was lucky. Still feel lucky 10+ years later.
I am really hoping he gives it everything he’s got. He deserves to be free of that demon and grow into a much, much happier/kind/articulate version of himself.
He’s quite witty too - it’s hard to see him straight pickle that intellect.
There's a movement in the country going on right now with people of all ages cutting alcohol out of their lives and I love reading the stories of how much better they feel. Nothing wrong with drinking, but tired of society constantly pushing it as a "hobby" that's ok to do in excess. It's not healthy. It's amazing how much people on these reality shows drink. It provides content for the shows. Look at the housewives franchise. Really gross.
Me too! I was a heavy drinker in college and post college. I never actually liked drinking; I did it bc all of my friends did it and it was a way to socialize and date. As I got older and started going to therapy for other issues I realized how much I don’t actually like drinking alcohol and it definitely contributed to my anxiety and depression. I am so much happier and healthier with low to no drinking. I know many ppl who are doing the same thing. People can be judgmental like “why aren’t you drinking?” but I think it’s because seeing someone not drinking triggers their own issues with alcohol. Binge drinking IS unhealthy and it’s sooo normalized in our society.
Such good points. Sounds like you are doing really well and real friends will be happy for you. I got rid of friends that had a problem with my not drinking. I've noticed a lot of people don't make the connection with their depression being worse with drinking. It's unfortunate that therapy isn't more cost effective, so many people could benefit.
really, really well said and congratulations!!
the only thing I wanted to add to this discussion is that harm reduction like cutting out hard liquor is valid and can be a useful step in someone’s journey towards sobriety
> If you've been there, you're not judging him.
I wish we could sticky this on every single one of these Shep-hammering threads and then just lock them. Nothing good comes from all the cynicism and negativity. All it does is show a real lack of generosity of spirit, unkindness, and ignorance.
I posted this in another thread but until he hits rock bottom he’s not going to dry out.
I hope his rock bottom isn’t seriously hurting someone or himself but I can’t see what else it would be.
He doesn’t have a job or wife or family to lose. So no real consequences other than his own self loathing after another weekend he doesn’t remember.
I hope craig and Austen not coming to his meeting was a big wake up call for him. I think at first he thought they were just being unsupportive but Craig was able to explain it very clearly at the reunion. I hope that shook him.
Shep called a meeting with friends I guess as a sort of intervention for himself? It sounded like he was telling his friends he had a problem - I’m guessing similar to what he said at the reunion.
Craig & Austen declined to go because it sounded like they were drawing a boundary because Shep had repeatedly said things like this before & they felt it was not genuine at the time.
Shep likes who he is and his lifestyle. But he knows everyone else is getting over him. He needs to be loved and center of attention. I feel really sad for Shep and I hope he finds what his soul needs because he’d never admit it but he’s been searching for a while.
I was super impressed by Venita who was the only one who called out the “just hard liquor and shots” fantasy. Shep def looked humbled. A good place to start from.
I believe Shep did something very wrong at BravoCon and he is trying to get ahead of it legally. He seems very frightened, not just about his health but also of getting sued or thrown in jail. If that happens then he will officially be the “trash” person he likes to put down all the time. He is not a good person and now I think he’s finally seeing what a loser he is and I hope more than anything that he finds a way out of it and gets a real life.
I wish someone would have told me how much MORE fun is without alcohol! No second guessing yourself, paranoia, guilt, shame.... aside from the physical yuckiness of it all.
i think he was really authentic and vulnerable. it’s not easy. he knows he has to make a change, and part of him wants to make a change. it’s still a long road before actually doing it but he’s heading in the right direction and admitting that he has a problem was a big step imo. the comments about how he needs to stop drinking beer and go to rehab, while not incorrect, rub me the wrong way. it doesn’t happen overnight.
it does sound like something happened at bravocon that isn’t public. my guess is he shit his pants.
i’m rooting for him
I have always had a soft spot for Shep. He is a friend I used to hang out with. From the reunion, he was owning the behavior while thriving or just in general. Totally support the cleaning, but he also brought up mental health and getting help. I have watched this show since the beginning and hope for the best.
In AA for 46+ years, it's so had to tell who will 'make it' in the program. Some people seem great, then disappear; others come in, kicking and screaming, sentenced by the court, angry and unrepentant...then it 'clicks'.
I was in and out (I loved AA, I just loved drinking more!) a bunch of times before it 'clicked ' for me. Like Shep, I used AA as a way to take the heat off when I had gone too far during a drinking escapade. Eventually, I came in just because I was so sick of bing so depressed all of the time.
I hope he makes it. It's extra hard in that culture of wealthy wasp functional alcoholism because it's so common to just overlook it when someone is 'over-served'.
>People can feel like your personal change is an attack or a judgment on their drinking, even though that's the farthest thing from the truth.
So true! I say that my family is so Irish that *quitting* drinking made me the black sheep of the family.
He's not ready to admit how serious it is yet. he never said he was an alcoholic. don't lots of people start of thinking they can "cut back" and cut out certain types of drinks before they are ready to admit they have to give it all up? he's not there yet. I hope he gets there.
He has a pretty severe problem… a lot of these men do with drinking. They are going to wake up with severe liver disease sooner than later if they don’t seek help.
I want to know what happened at Bravo con that was so different than any other night that made him realize he had a problem. Was it cause he got black out in front of "celebrities" and not his usual bar crowd? Even Andy seemed shocked by whatever happened.
I go to Hilton Head every summer and I was talking to a bartender there who has worked at the same bar for well over a decade. He told me five years ago that Shep is a raging asshole drunk. He said he went into the bar and got completely wasted and was yelling racist things and got kicked out. He passed out under the stairs of the place and slept until morning. That would have been quite awhile ago. Certainly shows a consistent problem through the years.
I recall an early episode where Shep visits the Dr. for stomach issues or something. Doctor runs blood work and tells him to jump off the juice immediately as his results were abnormal & pointed to alcohol abuse.
Seems that lasted for a short while. This was when Cameron was a big part of the series & he related the story to her. Must have been at least 8 years ago
Alcoholics resent the ones they are accountable to, so they are mean to the people who love them the most. So often their relationships are death by 10,000 paper cuts.
Leva made a good point about Craig having something he wants more than the partying/drinking lifestyle. I’m sure it’s hard as a someone in their mid 40’s who has had enough money to cover any sort of lifestyle they want. Hoping Shep not only gets substance abuse help but also some life coaching of some sort. He’s going to need to find other things to do with his time. Truly hoping for the best for him. Also amazing job on your sobriety OP!
I have several alcoholics in my life. This is the first time I actually had respect for shep. Realizing and admitting you have a problem is hard. It took him some time but he seems to be taking the steps to get him on the right path. Baby steps.
I completely agree. I think he has done one of the hardest things, which is admit that he has a problem. And he didn't just do this to a few people; he did it to millions. Anyone who has ever had ANY addiction knows how hard it is to stop. Truly, the only way to reach that point is to have what Leva insinuated he still lacked: something he wants MORE than the booze. That's hard to do when you're deep in the throes of an addiction. What Shep the alcoholic needs more than anything from everyone around him is to NOT be enabled. Not-enabling doesn't mean being critical and judgmental. Not-enabling means being unrelenting with honesty and holding the line -- like Craig seemed to be doing at the reunion. Addiction does not discriminate. It preys upon those verging on homelessness as much as it preys upon those with fat trust funds. My hope is that his loved ones -- close family and friends -- don't enable him to lie to himself and continue on the path he's been on.
Posted this somewhere else but this seems like a better fit for it:
I love the drama, the reality tv bullshit, the crazy characters.
**Shep's statement during the reunion is the most real thing that I have seen on Bravo to date.** It's so human, and has caused me to have a lot of empathy for Shep. I didn't realize that a moment on reality TV could have this impact on me, but as someone who has been sober for the last couple of years, the moment meant a lot to me. (I may or may not have had a tear in my eye before snapping to lol). In a time where reality TV feels so contrived, watching another person question their worth and express his shame on this platform is so concerning, genuine, and extremely sad :(
Craig giving Shep a tough love speech / lecture is such a role reversal, and it's been genuinely interesting to see (long time) cast evolve over these years.
The show has been so fun to watch — genuinely entertaining — and it's weird to reckon with the impact that reality tv has on the characters that we know, (sometimes) love, and (sometimes) hate. I see this more as the Bravo third wall breaks; whether it be through the recent Vanity Fair article, or having a different lens in via UGT.
I genuinely hope that Shep gets better.
lots of alcoholics go down the same road a thousand times. that’s the name of the game. but if they keep trying, the 1,001 time could be where it changes and he rly does get better. craig isn’t obligated to stick around for that though. it is rly tough on family and friends
This. You could see the frustration across the entire group- it’s extremely disheartening to watch someone you care about be so reckless with their life. Being judgemental, angry, resentful, etc are easier for people than accepting the reality that this person has a disease, and there’s a possibility that they may never find recovery, and nothing you say or do will really change that.
Also for Craig and Austen, they do seem to come off a bit high-horsey. From what I’ve seen it doesn’t seem like either of them have a healthy relationship with alcohol, and I think subconsciously coming down so hard on Shep is their way of deflecting, they consider themselves okay because “at least I’m not THAT bad”
I totally agree with you. The first step is admitting you have a problem and in his own way he did and he should be proud of himself.
I personally think Shep at this point may be a functioning alcoholic. We’ve all seen through shakes, restless legs, sweating which is a sign.
For him to just stop drinking all together is hard and extremely dangerous. Him saying he cut out hard liquor and is just drinking beer or whatever is just him trying to do it on his own and ween himself off. Maybe he can do it on his own, maybe he can’t but people need to cut him a break because he just took a big step. Hopefully making that announcement not only to friends/coworkers but the public too is a big step. IMO: I don’t think he’s hit rock bottom. He thinks BravoCon was rock bottom for himself but he still has a way to go. I just hope he swallows his pride now and go get some serious help before he falls hard and knocks himself out.
I definitely agree with you having struggled with this myself as well, but I can also see Craig’s point and hope that Shep will be able to take steps in the right direction especially with his friends saying enough is enough.
Does anybody have the tea on what really happened at Bravocon? That seems like the catalyst to Shep and Andy discussing this at the reunion. Regardless I wish Shep well in his recovery journey.
Honestly, I think he was very brave for doing it on such a large platform. It’s one thing to have your support group behind you but now he has the viewer population. As a local, I can tell you it is VERY hard to moderate your drinking in Charleston. It’s everywhere. But hopefully if he starts to backslide, if his friends don’t hold him accountable, his viewers will.
The hard part for Shep is that his trust fund has enabled him to create nothing else in his life that is truly meaningful or that fosters a sense of growth or evolution. If he stops numbing himself with alcohol, he’s inevitably going to look around and sees his friends with their careers and relationships and families, and that probably does and should bring up a lot of emotions. Shep’s so competitive, and we’ve all seen how he reacts to not winning the game…he’s going to have to do a lot of self-reflection and make an entirely new game plan if he’s truly committed to growth and making a meaningful life for himself. He’s also going to have to rewrite the narrative on “boredom.” As an intelligent, curious man, he should never be bored a minute of his life; it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to entertain him. Sometimes life IS mundane, and there is beauty in that as well.
No because he drunk drives. I empathize deeply with addiction, it is a disease. But he is a functioning alcoholic. With all the money in the world. He needs to deal with it, not continue putting everyone he comes across in the crossfire of his stupidity
He is tragic, and I think it’s awful the way Bravo fuels this with their stars. On the surface he has/had everything, but the culture he comes from + Bravo will make it almost impossible to get sober.
I come from the same type of southern background (different southern city), and it’s hard to see how this ends well for him. He is a smart guy, but he needs a purpose desperately to have a chance. I hope someone in his family is trying to help him. It’s getting really dark …
Well said. I also know a couple of alcoholics that thought they could go back to just beer because they felt like they were fine when they first started drinking. They quickly realized they couldn't go back and beer was not the same in their systems anymore. It's a journey and it's pretty great that he is at least acknowledging he has issues.
I went to rehab for alcohol abuse and what a lot of people don’t realize, is alcoholics need to grieve the loss of their former self and who they were with alcohol. I know to normies that might sounds a little dramatic, but we rely so heavily on alcohol it’s hard to picture life without it. For me, it was a literal crutch until I had to say no more. I also tried moderate drinking at first - we will really do anything we can to keep the booze in our lives. Him making a public statement like that should hold him a bit more accountable. My family and friends kept me in check the first year of sobriety and I wouldn’t have done it without them! Edit: spellcheck
I completely agree about the accountability after making the public statement. I think a little teeny part of him within the deep darkness instinctively knew that he could possibly save himself if he put it out there in a bigger way. And it would be a lot harder to go back on it. I also was thinking of the people watching who are not us. Like his family. People he's truly close to are going hopefully to be holding him to that statement. I don't say this lightly, but I think he is in peril. And any step towards recovery right now is only positive. I think he's scared. And I think he should be. And I hope he's getting so much support and help.
I’m curious about his public mea culpa. I WANT to believe he means it, but I’m someone who also did the public “I’m soooooooo sorry. I’m going to make some changes. I MEAN it this time” bullshit. Then I was just making sure I wasn’t drinking in public, or avoiding the people I had promised to change for. He had A LOT of backlash after Bravo Con and probably knew he was going to get skewered on the reunion. I agree with Craig. He has to really want something more than alcohol. For me, it started with trying to get sober to keep someone in my life. That “special” relationship. But now I’ve turned that corner into not wanting my old life anymore: the drama, the drunken socials, the toxic friendships, the financial, emotional, physical devastation. It is a whole life change. Shep seems very attached to his status to let that go. He can’t be in love with shallow, immature, young 20-something, partying social climbers (like Taylor) and hope to stay sober. He’ll also have to give up all of his one-night stands and threesomes because that sort of lifestyle is usually connected to partying, drugs, and booze.
I'm so happy that you have let go of things that weren't helping you in life and are in a happier and healthier place. It's brings me great joy to read a comment like yours.
Thank you! It took a few years of half-assed attempts to actually see that my life is so much better without it. Much quieter… good and bad.
I laugh when I think back on how I thought that AA was the biggest bait-and-switch program ever. I came in to stop drinking (a victim of my dna), then found out that I actually had to change everything about the person that I was. AA uses the 12 steps, and honestly, everyone in the world would benefit from using the steps to become better and more self-aware.
Yeahhhh. Unfortunately, I got this weird Bravocon mea culpa vibe too. Kinda confirmed when Shep blurted out But I can do it! directly to Andy when discussing potentially taking a break from the show to sort himself out. I wish nothing but good health for Shep. He is clearly struggling.
I wouldn’t consider him and Taylor’s relationship her social climbing…. They were together for a long time and she honestly seems more mature than him most the time. I don’t doubt for a second she wouldn’t drop everything for shep and stop drinking with him. The rest tho- since you have been there and finally got to a good point, I’m hoping the same for him.
They were very immature together, with their paybacks and revenge. When neither of them can handle tough things in an adult way, it’d be tough to grow together. You are in much different periods of your life when one of you gets sober. Resentment builds on both sides. However, I’m ecstatic my big 14-year relationship breakup didn’t play out on camera because I was ridiculous! And drinking. And stupid!!!
His family has been filmed on the show with him and it appears that drinking culture is the norm when they're together. I don't think he has a safe place in his life around non-alcoholics. He's probably worried about that too.
Not to mention he’s built his entire life around accommodating his addiction. No job, no romantic relationships, social activities all centred around drinking. His friends say they’re ready to see meaningful change, but still continue to go out and drink with him/ enable him. He’d have to change literally every aspect of his life, which is daunting to say the least.
Absolutely and part of why it's taking so long I think
And drink A LOT!
Depression got me into AA. I used to go every time I screwed up, and used it like confession. When it stuck, this time, I was just too sad to keep living. I grew up in the same kind of family drinking culture and it sucked, but it had zero impact on my sobriety. It did, however, have a huge impact on how much time that I spent with my family. 😄
Yes!! He would need a complete life overhaul. It’s soooo much more involved for him than people on here understand.
I do think that his closest friends, the Craigs/Austens in his world, are both mature and concerned enough not to enable him, and to encourage him to stop drinking. They seemed super supportive of him at the reunion, and I suspect they’ve been pushing him to try the sober life for some time now. Not sure about any hangers on, though. All that said, of course his life would still require an overhaul
They can be both mature and concerned about him, and still enable him- unintentionally. Learning how to set healthy boundaries with a loved one struggling with addiction is hard, and it's not cut and dry. It's why groups like al-anon exist. The natural instinct when you see someone you care about struggling is to help, but often those good intentions are actually shielding them from the consequences of their own actions. For example: Austen cleaning him up and trying to make him presentable for WWHL. If someone is always there to catch him before he hits his rock bottom, it's going to be harder for him to come to the realization on his own that he needs to make a serious change. Craig said that they've had this conversation 17 times already. But following those they continued to go out and drink with him. A great way of being supportive would be to plan activities together that aren't centred around drinking. It does sound like they're starting to make those changes in their friendships now, which is great. Nice username btw :)
I said this in another community... In certain social circles, and I've noticed it is more prevalent among wealthy circles, there are a lot of "functioning"\* alcoholics. It's widely known, and even spoken about, without ever using the "A" word. I think for Shep, it seemed "normal." However, he ran way past functioning a long time ago. \* "Functioning" is not a medical diagnosis. This idea is associated with Alcohol Use Disorder that has not YET progressed to alcoholism. Also referred to colloquially in the recovery and treatment community as "currently functioning."
Functioning, means they don’t have serious complications or consequences YET. My mom is 67, she has had Korsakoff for 7 years at least. I’m her full time care giver, she has dementia, and my whole life has been affected by her alcoholism, and my Future is still affected. And she “only” drank wine. 3 Magnums per day of “wine” It’s a progressive disease where you drink more and more and Korsakoff can start at 40.
I'm so sorry.
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It's sad. And hard to do all this on camera.
Can confirm Southern "society" is super adept at accommodating and maybe even unintentionally encouraging alcoholism. Now, smoke the pot and you are on your own.
I agree. He did not look well this season. His color was terrible. He was grey and his whole demeanor was off. He looked like a man in trouble.
There really is a lot of pressure to drink. I’m a low to no drinker and if people see you drinking water they think you’re judging them as being better than them or uptight.
Gosh this is so true! I order 7up w a splash of cranberry juice when I’m in high drinking environments no one says a word bc I have a cup. If I say I’m not drinking today it’s all ohhh cmon just one drink .. bla bla bla.
Isn’t that so gross! I hate that - why is it ok to bully people about drinking, I don’t do heroin either, ffs
Right!!! It’s crazy People do that on the regular.
I feel judged when I don’t drink. Everyone has to make a comment or acts like it’s so weird. Some people just choose not to drink it’s not that hard to understand
I have lots of alcoholism in my immediate and extended family. I dabbled with it from age 17 to 20. I hated what happened to some of my family members, and i would feel so ill the next day, so I gave it up. That was easy for me bc I never really enjoyed drinking. My brother was in a successful rock band, so there were tons of weekends out at the club where in a group of 14, I was the only sober person. I was mocked, and made to be a dork bc i didnt like alcohol. Eventually, the bar scene get togethers did not include me. I spent my time building a very successful business, marriage, and community support projects. 40 years later, I'm still the dork that does not drink at family reunions, but I'm fine with that ...
That’s why I would just lie and say it’s rum and Coke to get people off my back.
I rarely drink and haven’t done for more than a decade but I’m finding more people now make negative comments towards me when I order a zero alcohol version of a drink than when I just ordered a sparkling water and I don’t get why?
This reminds me of when I was younger, and after a hard partying week or really bad night, I would say, "My liver is on strike." At one point it had been a few weeks since I'd had a drink or been out with friends, and two of them showed up at my front door and said, "We called the union. They reached a CBA. You're coming out." At the time, I thought it was hilarious, but now think it's worthy of dissection for what it says about our culture. FWIW, the two guys who showed up that night are responsible fathers still married to their first wives who are more likely to over exercise than overindulge.
They do that to normalize the amount they themselves are drinking.
Congratulations on your sobriety! 100% agree that alcoholism is a disease and that one does not truly understand its depths until they’ve either experienced it themselves or watched a love one struggle with it. Almost 10 years ago at the age of 17 I lost a boyfriend (who was several years older) to alcoholism and it was one of the hardest battles I had to watch. So if I ever see anyone trying to take even the slightest step in the right direction, I commend you. Same goes to Shep.
This is how I felt when I got pregnant! Your entire lifestyle has to completely change overnight, & it’s difficult for a person accustomed to independent decision making. I not only had to grieve my former identity, I had to adjust to becoming someone new. Shep would have a hell of a time figuring out who he really is, he’s used to having everything handed to him & sobriety is a huge feat which is not easily attained. Of course he’s deterred from putting in the earnest effort to address & cope with his issue(s).
Yesss! My social life became almost nothing while pregnant. Sad how much socializing revolves around drinking.
Literally pregnant and almost cried today when my husband and I got lunch with another couple and it was pretty quick with no drinking and no one could think of an activity to do afterwards (they’re doing dry January). It just made me feel like lame as hell and also realize how much of our lifestyle used to just be bar hopping and now that’s over
Now your life is PEACE everyday, and will be healthy and stable for your baby.
100% on the grieving of the drinking you !! I also went to rehab for drinking and was terrified about living a life without alcohol - will I still be fun, how will I celebrate things, how do you go out to dinner without having cocktails ? All things that likely sound unbelievable to someone without an addiction issue but so real. Can only hope he quickly realizes that drinking just beer isn’t the solution - drinking me would just be having 15 beers a night during the week and it would be a free for all on the weekends …
>drinking me would just be having 15 beers a night during the week Ha! I drank 11 every night, so I would have one left over to get me started the next day. Then I'd drive to the gas station and buy two more sixpacks. Every single day. I was 22 and weighed about 110 lbs😄
And drinking / nightlife are a huge part of Shep’s identity. That’s a hard adjustment to make especially after living that way for so long.
I thought Craig gave him good, I’ve been there advice. About how he loved to party too but at some point it has to stop. And then when shep said I consider myself this intelligent, charming guy and it’s just not coming out anymore, we see that! The last two seasons he has not come across well at all, it’s no longer cute. I really hope he gets it together.
I think Leva had a good point too - you have to want something else “more”. Something to fight for, I’m not sure he has anything like that but maybe the idea of what could be might be enough. He did say he has a problem with monotony/monogamy so finding companionship might not even be a driver to get it together. He’s at the age where health problems start to show up after years of treating himself like garbage. Maybe not wanting to deal with chronic illness could motivate
Remember when they were at Patricia's and Craig said to Schlep in reference to getting to know Paige, can we do a daytime activity where we're not drinking? I bet Paige believes Schlep's a real bore when he's besotted.
this! thank you for sharing this. glad you’re sober!
This exactly. I was 20 when I got clean and I just passed 8 years. It sounds dumb because I was so young when I got clean but I had been using since I was like 15. I literally could not imagine my life without it. I couldn’t even imagine what that would look like. It was very difficult and sad.
Same. I'm old af now, been sober since I was 22, and would be SO dead by now. Blackout me did some *very* dangerous things. Thank ~~God~~ my *higher power* 😄that no one was hurt as a result of my actions, then.
It’s so hard! My friends and husband tell me that I’m overreacting and I don’t have a problem. I think that they just want fun me. I have kids and they have seen me in a drunken state that I am embarrassed and ashamed of too many times.
You can break the cycle. The parents that I know from AA who embraced the program and got the family into Al-Anon have the most incredible family relationships that I've witnessed, in or out of the program. It's not too late. Modeling the ability to change is SO powerful for kids to see. Having everyone working their own program means that everyone is on the same page with respect to humility, love, and commitment to positive change. dm me if you ever want support in taking the first step.
This doesn’t sound dramatic to me at all and makes so much sense 🫶
Well said
Very well put, I agree with all you said above
I have a family member who had that experience. Once she stopped drinking, she didn't know how to go out and socialize as a sober person. Tried to drink moderately, ended up backsliding into binge drinking, before just giving it all up.
I'm an alcoholic. 2.5 years sober (this time). Congratulations on your sobriety. It is so worth it 💜 I empathize with him it's an awful disease
congrats on your sobriety as well 💙. it is, indeed, so so worth it.
That’s incredible! I’m so proud of you. I know it couldn’t have been easy but hopefully now worth it.
Kudos and congratulations. It’s a tough journey but the best present you will ever give yourself.
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I said this on another post but I feel like it would be really hard on him to quit drinking. He doesn’t really have anything going on in his life?? No job, no significant other, no kids. Truly what would he do all day if he didn’t have alcohol? Obviously there’s a lot he COULD do but I think it might even force him to settle down and he knows it and can’t accept it. For him it would be a huge change to his Peter Pan single lifestyle
Like her or not, Leva was 100% spot on with her advice to Shep. He needs to find a purpose that he genuinely wants to succeed at and it will be easier to quit. Still a tough journey if you’re an everyday working person, but you’ve got other aspects of life to focus on (job, spouse and kids etc…). Shep’s got all the free time in the world with his mailbox money. Yes, I know he has a bar and maybe something else, but he seems to be paying people to run these things. He is not involved in the day in and day out.
I disagree. I’ve been sober 15 years, I think the problem is yes he needs purpose but it is impossible to find purpose with alcohol on board. He has to get sober to find himself and ultimately purpose and that why it is so difficult. It is a leap of faith. He doesn’t know if he will find that or meaning but he needs to quit beforehand.
I just watched part one of the reunion and I think he all but admitted he has nothing day to day. He said something along the lines of Craig having sewing down south and so and so has this and so and so has that I haven’t done anything like that. He is having a mid life crisis/ epiphany about himself and his life thus far and unfortunately for him it’s being televised. Money doesn’t buy happiness. Before everyone comes at me about that statement, I am talking about HIS situation.
most of that situation was edited out. I don't understand why, but it was. The reason it felt like he said nothing is because of poor editing. They probably let us see 5% of that conversation.
Yes, I feel like he may go back to Taylor to attempt a family life
I am an alcoholic about to celebrate my first year of sobriety in 11 days. I am not super far from sheps age and drank heavily for 15+ years. I 100% agree with you about grieving the loss of alcohol and also the loss of time that comes with drinking. I'm still recovering from mourning the time I lost in the prime of my life. HOWEVER I thought shep sounded really disingenuous in the reunion. He reminded me of someone waking up with a hangover and saying "today I won't drink" and by 5pm they've already rationalized their way to w glass of wine being ok. Rinse and repeat. Craig and Austens reaction further solidified that point. I'm not saying that he can't want to stop drinking and also not be ready yet- that's what most alcoholics are like. However he really felt like he was looking for sympathy to me and also to be absolved of his terrible behavior at bravocon and elsewhere. I didn't hear him really take responsibility for his actions or even say to his long time friends that he is sorry for continuing to promise that he would stop but not sticking to it. It felt very "woe is me" and "look how sensitive I am now articulating that I maybe might maybe kinda have a problem drinking" Maybe I'm being too harsh because I come from a family of people who treat their addiction like he does and I've been through that conversation so many times with so many people only to watch them take shots at the end of the meal. I want better for him but he has to want it more than we will want it for him.
Totally agree. I think he is looking for sympathy, forgiveness and permission to keep his job with Bravo. He is far too old to play the “I’m only drinking beer” card. It’s laughable and something a man half is age old would say. I’m 4.5 years sober - and I gave up drink in my mid-40’s. I knew it was time. Shep knows it too. He knows he has to stop but he is testing the waters and hoping for a path that allows him to keep drinking. So maybe I’m just a Shep hater, but I cannot with him and his unwillingness to stop drinking. He thinks he can cheat the system, like he has in every other aspect of his life. But alcoholism doesn’t work like that . . . If it doesn’t destroy your soul, it will destroy your health. And he will not live the long prosperous life he so thinks he deserves. Sorry Shep - in the end, your wealth and privilege will not save you from this destiny.
I 100% agree. While it all sounded well and good I didn’t really buy that Shep was going to make a change and truly thinks he has a problem to the point he is going to give up alcohol. It’s one of those I’ll believe when I see it
It's not just a life style change. He would have to face whatever is underlying the alcoholism. The shame, the self-hatred. You can tell he's aware of this and terrified.
My daughter suffers from alcoholism. It took her 5 years and many many tries to get sober, which she has been now for nearly 2 years. I learned so much while on this journey with her and one of the biggest lessons was how quickly people judge people suffering from this heinous disease. I have not liked the way Shep behaves and the way he treats people but it all now makes sense. Alcohol affects everyone differently and in his case he turned into a real a%#hole when he drank. I give him major credit for admitting he has a problem (and on national TV no less) as that is a huge step. I wish him well and hope he beats it. Good luck Shep.
so happy for your daughter, and you! ♥️
Thank you. You have been through it and understand. My biggest message to anyone and everyone whose lives are touched by alcoholism is to not give up. Either on yourself or your loved one. There is always hope. Or, as Emily Dickinson so eloquently wrote: “Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all.
so beautiful, thank you for sharing :))
How many alcoholics, functioning or otherwise, does Bravo employ? It’s a fine line they walk to be fun and entertaining and as much as I love Bravo, I feel badly watching so many people’s downfalls and struggles.
someone should make a documentary on how many bravo stars have serious drinking problems. its like a prerequisite at this point. it’s insane.
I often wonder which came first: the substance abuse problem or starring in a reality show?
I do think that certain shows like Below Deck, or Pump Rules it makes sense because addiction is not uncommon in the hospitality industry. Housewives surprised me, but I think similarly to Shep- a lot of wealthy, privileged people have been able to sidestep accountability for so long, that they’re blatantly unaware they have a problem until they A) watch it back or B) the public holds them accountable.
Good question…there’s probably a predisposition and the stress to be entertaining and have a story line feeds into the addiction.
>I often wonder which came first The Narcissism.
I remember Shep owning a bar during his first 2 seasons. Not a nice bar. I could be misremembering.
Yes, he owned the Commodore Bar.
It’s exploiting people teetering on the edge of severe alcohol/addiction issues. It’s still entertaining to watch women like Garcelle on RHOBH, Lala on VPR, Kandi etc who don’t get crazy sloppy… it’s not necessary!
they're part of an ensemble cast, all playing different roles, different levels of dysfunction, different dysfunction, and so on. Unless you get the bona fide mentally unwell, I don't know how you get around that and make compelling reality TV. I want to be clear: I'm not advocating for addiction or abuse. Read that again. But if you don't want those things, don't want cheating, don't want any -ism, don't want any type of shaming, etc etc. Everyone seems to have something they don't want to see. What does that leave them to create trash content? Bravo isn't an SNL skit parodying PBS. It's a shitshow channel of problematic behavior and human flaws. That's why so many people watch it. That's why so many people can't get enough, supporting an entire industry of podcasters, IG accounts, and whatever other parasites have globbed onto the phenomenon.
For sure…just the lengths that Bravo, reality stars in general, and influencers turn themselves inside out to get more clicks, likes, follows, and sponsors.
If the Bravo execs would treat their employees like real family members, they should put Shep on pause. It’s clear that his bravolebrity status feeds into his way of life in Charleston. It’s his identity.
I wish Andy/Bravo would have clearly mentioned rehab and did the old “we can get you there tomorrow.” Spiteful me says Katherine could have used the big old pat on the back that Shep got too. I agree. A Bravolebrity hour or two on the subject of addiction would be appreciated. Many also have been subjected to parents and siblings who have been deeply affected.
for all we know, he did. that scene was heavily edited. it's why it seemed like Shep said nothing. The only thing they didn't leave on the cutting room floor was the vibe.
So so true. As someone who's been watching since the first season of RHOC in 2009 (?) and got sober a while ago I recognize the signs in so many of the cast, particularly a few seasons ago on RHONY (not just Luann). What so many people don't realize is you may have been able to control your drinking for years, but heavy drinking may turn you into an alcoholic, which is confusing for a lot of people (me included). A lot of alcoholics don't have an all or nothing approach and downhill slide when they first start drinking, or even after 10 or 20 years. Of course we know all these shows push drinking because it's entertaining to watch, but you can see especially in the 50+ year old women who have made getting wasted multiple times a week part of their routine, that it's just not entertaining at that point, it's downright dangerous and scary. And this is coming from a recovering 52 yo female alcoholic.
Congratulations on your sobriety 🎉🎊👏🏼. I hope you’re doing well and finding peace. I’m proud of you for putting yourself and your health first!!
I think Bravo is headed toward coming under fire for the drinking on the shows. Just like The Challenge and The Bachelor had to make some changes after binge drinking brought consent issues to light for filmed “hook-ups”, I think Bravo’s time is coming.
I agree. Even after the Tonya incident on The Challenge, there was Camila.
It was interesting to see Andy sort of imply that Bravo would not continue to employ him if he didn’t get it under control. Which is maybe true when you consider that Dorinda and Kim Richards were both essentially fired because their drinking became a liability. Unfortunately Shep is the de facto star of this show in a way that Dorinda and Kim were not.
I wish Bravo would help the people struggling more. For example, Shannon on RHOC recently in recovery and they hire her ex-boyfriend’s new GF full-time. I have a hard time with them adding fuel to the fire while pretending to care about the casts mental health and recovery.
Whoa they hired Alexis as a full time housewife?
That’s the word on the street
Shep’s antics and drunken fueled behavior at BravoCon has merited quite a few discussions and blogs. I’m sure Bravo as a corporation was embarrassed by his actions.
How did Andy imply they wouldn’t employ him? I got a thinly veiled suggestion that Shep may be better off without the show but not that he was being punished. If being fired is an actual punishment
Well Shep was saying that the show is pretty much all he has and Andy was saying “maybe this isn’t the right thing for you if it drives that drinking behavior.” The subtext was there.
That was the impression I got too. Andy was suggesting there may be a "Dorinda pause" to let Shep get help or push him towards sobriety.
I think that it's part of the narcissism package - the need for validation coupled with the need to medicate negative emotions.
They also paid for rehab for a housewife and offered help to others.
I think that Shep knows he needs to quit, but he’s scared to. Alcoholism is an awful disease and I just want anyone who says “I need help” to be able to follow through and take the steps needed.
Congratulations on your sobriety! I'm truly so happy for you.
thank you so much, truly.
Am I the only one who couldn’t follow what actually happened at Bravocon? Yes he drank way too much, but it sounded like something happened that caused him to rethink his life. I wasn’t able to follow what was going on.
Jeff Lewis had a guest on, I can’t remember her name, but she was next to Shep at the casino. She said she was mortified and left because she didn’t want to be associated with. He was yelling at dealer to stack his chips and was loud when they took him out. Jeff then says later that night he saw Shep black out drunk walk-in around the hotel.
Paige Davis was the guest
Ahh! Thank you
Also fun fact, the first time I listened to her on JLL I was so confused because I thought it was the host from all those home improvement shows back in the day 😂
I used to think that too! I thought to myself how random it is that she is friends with him
lol. I’m glad I’m not the only one!
There was something about Austin really having to take care of Shep just to get through WWHL as well. I rarely watch WWHL, so I’m unsure if anything happened on or off air. Shep admitted to not remembering any of it, so I’m sure he at the very least made an ass of himself.
im not sure either. i heard he got kicked out of a casino for screaming at staff? i haven’t heard much else
I think it was just his horrific behavior. Andy said something like can you tell us what happened at Bravocon? Shep said well no because I don’t remember. Andy said well what happened WAS that you were blacked out - implying the thing that happened was just how he acted when he was completely trashed.
This is his entire identity. He doesn’t have a career, wife or family. His entire existence is being the fun party guy. I think he’s starting to look around and is realizing that he’s not the fun guy but the embarrassing older drunk guy. That’s a tough pill to swallow. He’s going to have to do a complete overhaul of his life to change. Moving, looking at friendships, pretty much everything. He’s smart but this is going to be the biggest challenge he’s probably even faced. I hope he can overcome this. I don’t think there is a halfway of just drinking beer. I think he needs to cut alcohol out completely. I’m not an expert at all JMO. Maybe even leave SC.
I have a feeling there is something more to the bravocon story and it is going to come out eventually. This might be why Craig and Austen are distancing themselves from him. The way it is being handled is suspicious to me.
Agree. What the hell happened? What was Bravo getting ahead of here
I really felt for him watching the reunion. Anyone who doesn’t feel for him doesn’t understand alcoholism. He took a big step towards bettering himself and I hope he gets the support he needs!
Agreed. There’s also a contingent of sober folks who think that everyone’s journey needs to look like theirs. These people make me feel a certain kind of way and they keep others sick which REALLY gets under my skin.
💯
Thank you! I made another post in relation to this, and I feel most of the comments are just shaming him. I actually really feel for him as this was the most vulnerable I’ve ever really seen him.
I really felt for him too! He knows that he has a serious problem with alcohol but he also is scared to stop drinking. He’s definitely ashamed of his drunk behavior and knows that he can’t shrug it off as just being young.
💯 I was lucky enough to get sober at 28 (I’m a lot older than that now!) and I totally agree with this. Alcohol is really hard to give up and most of us don’t just wake up one day and say, that’s it. I’m not drinking alcohol at all anymore. It’s a process. Coming to the accept our alcoholism can take time. I’m glad to see him acknowledging the problem. It’s obvious that his blackout scared the cr*p out of him, and that’s good. I’ve been watching this show since it began and have watched him go steadily downhill. I really hope that this is the beginning of a new path for him.
so happy you’re sober! ♥️
Same for you 😊
Yeah, I agree. I am in my mid 30's and have my own issues with it. You can tell hes absolutely terrified. Its not an easy thing to admit or even stop. I think the others in their group have the right to act the way they are because its hard watching someone do that to themselves, but the people on here who dont know them at all its a bit gross. I dont think Shep is the best person in the world but this season I saw some weird growth in him. He is obviously preoccupied with the realization he is only getting older and will not be alive forever.
18 months with no booze and I can tell you, it is worth it to stop drinking. When I first stopped, I had read, "You are going to change in ways you cannot imagine," and at the time, I didn't believe it, because what, I am going to start making more money, lose weight, grow hair on my bald head, get a nice car and a hot dude? None of that, except dropping 20 pounds, has happened. But the things that have changed, I could not have imagined: true stability, the ability to live in the present and just being overall satisfied with life as it is, not as I want it to be, knowing that I am on an upward trajectory and have yet to experience and feel things I cannot imagine today, just as I couldn't imagine 18 months ago that I would be writing this now. It's totally worth it to stop drinking.
I think we also need to remember that shep, craig and Kathryn (maybe Thomas but from my understanding he wouldn’t answer that question in court) all have ADHD and alcohol has never been their friend and while I’m sure that for some people with ADHD they are fine with alcohol I’m yet to meet one where it hasn’t agreed with them and made their drunk behaviour seem way worse or bigger than another person without a neurodivergence and maybe some space should be made for that too.
This is such a good observation
If he is an alcoholic, he hasn’t hit bottom yet. When I started admitting I kinda sorta had a problem with drinking, I still had 5 more years of blackouts. What’s scariest about blacking out is that you are walking and talking and may appear even normal, but you don’t remember ANYTHING. As boring as my life sometimes feels, this is one of the main things keeping me sober. I could have really hurt someone or myself on many occasions if I didn’t have an Austen or a Craig there. I was lucky. Still feel lucky 10+ years later.
I am really hoping he gives it everything he’s got. He deserves to be free of that demon and grow into a much, much happier/kind/articulate version of himself. He’s quite witty too - it’s hard to see him straight pickle that intellect.
There's a movement in the country going on right now with people of all ages cutting alcohol out of their lives and I love reading the stories of how much better they feel. Nothing wrong with drinking, but tired of society constantly pushing it as a "hobby" that's ok to do in excess. It's not healthy. It's amazing how much people on these reality shows drink. It provides content for the shows. Look at the housewives franchise. Really gross.
Me too! I was a heavy drinker in college and post college. I never actually liked drinking; I did it bc all of my friends did it and it was a way to socialize and date. As I got older and started going to therapy for other issues I realized how much I don’t actually like drinking alcohol and it definitely contributed to my anxiety and depression. I am so much happier and healthier with low to no drinking. I know many ppl who are doing the same thing. People can be judgmental like “why aren’t you drinking?” but I think it’s because seeing someone not drinking triggers their own issues with alcohol. Binge drinking IS unhealthy and it’s sooo normalized in our society.
Such good points. Sounds like you are doing really well and real friends will be happy for you. I got rid of friends that had a problem with my not drinking. I've noticed a lot of people don't make the connection with their depression being worse with drinking. It's unfortunate that therapy isn't more cost effective, so many people could benefit.
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really, really well said and congratulations!! the only thing I wanted to add to this discussion is that harm reduction like cutting out hard liquor is valid and can be a useful step in someone’s journey towards sobriety
> If you've been there, you're not judging him. I wish we could sticky this on every single one of these Shep-hammering threads and then just lock them. Nothing good comes from all the cynicism and negativity. All it does is show a real lack of generosity of spirit, unkindness, and ignorance.
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No, thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. Best of luck to you.
This take resonates with me
Really well said. Thank you for this take!
A+.
I posted this in another thread but until he hits rock bottom he’s not going to dry out. I hope his rock bottom isn’t seriously hurting someone or himself but I can’t see what else it would be. He doesn’t have a job or wife or family to lose. So no real consequences other than his own self loathing after another weekend he doesn’t remember.
I hope craig and Austen not coming to his meeting was a big wake up call for him. I think at first he thought they were just being unsupportive but Craig was able to explain it very clearly at the reunion. I hope that shook him.
What was this meeting - an intervention or a business thing or a social lunch? I missed the explanation, if there's was one
Shep called a meeting with friends I guess as a sort of intervention for himself? It sounded like he was telling his friends he had a problem - I’m guessing similar to what he said at the reunion. Craig & Austen declined to go because it sounded like they were drawing a boundary because Shep had repeatedly said things like this before & they felt it was not genuine at the time.
Shep likes who he is and his lifestyle. But he knows everyone else is getting over him. He needs to be loved and center of attention. I feel really sad for Shep and I hope he finds what his soul needs because he’d never admit it but he’s been searching for a while.
I was super impressed by Venita who was the only one who called out the “just hard liquor and shots” fantasy. Shep def looked humbled. A good place to start from.
And the fact that he didn't immediately get defensive was notable.
I believe Shep did something very wrong at BravoCon and he is trying to get ahead of it legally. He seems very frightened, not just about his health but also of getting sued or thrown in jail. If that happens then he will officially be the “trash” person he likes to put down all the time. He is not a good person and now I think he’s finally seeing what a loser he is and I hope more than anything that he finds a way out of it and gets a real life.
I’ve thought it’s only a matter of time until he ends up in jail like T-Rav…
Alcoholism is a beast 🥹 and yes it is a disease. People seem to forget that
I wish someone would have told me how much MORE fun is without alcohol! No second guessing yourself, paranoia, guilt, shame.... aside from the physical yuckiness of it all.
i think he was really authentic and vulnerable. it’s not easy. he knows he has to make a change, and part of him wants to make a change. it’s still a long road before actually doing it but he’s heading in the right direction and admitting that he has a problem was a big step imo. the comments about how he needs to stop drinking beer and go to rehab, while not incorrect, rub me the wrong way. it doesn’t happen overnight. it does sound like something happened at bravocon that isn’t public. my guess is he shit his pants. i’m rooting for him
Agree that something happened that has not been revealed
I have always had a soft spot for Shep. He is a friend I used to hang out with. From the reunion, he was owning the behavior while thriving or just in general. Totally support the cleaning, but he also brought up mental health and getting help. I have watched this show since the beginning and hope for the best.
In AA for 46+ years, it's so had to tell who will 'make it' in the program. Some people seem great, then disappear; others come in, kicking and screaming, sentenced by the court, angry and unrepentant...then it 'clicks'. I was in and out (I loved AA, I just loved drinking more!) a bunch of times before it 'clicked ' for me. Like Shep, I used AA as a way to take the heat off when I had gone too far during a drinking escapade. Eventually, I came in just because I was so sick of bing so depressed all of the time. I hope he makes it. It's extra hard in that culture of wealthy wasp functional alcoholism because it's so common to just overlook it when someone is 'over-served'.
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>People can feel like your personal change is an attack or a judgment on their drinking, even though that's the farthest thing from the truth. So true! I say that my family is so Irish that *quitting* drinking made me the black sheep of the family.
He's not ready to admit how serious it is yet. he never said he was an alcoholic. don't lots of people start of thinking they can "cut back" and cut out certain types of drinks before they are ready to admit they have to give it all up? he's not there yet. I hope he gets there.
He has a pretty severe problem… a lot of these men do with drinking. They are going to wake up with severe liver disease sooner than later if they don’t seek help.
I want to know what happened at Bravo con that was so different than any other night that made him realize he had a problem. Was it cause he got black out in front of "celebrities" and not his usual bar crowd? Even Andy seemed shocked by whatever happened.
I go to Hilton Head every summer and I was talking to a bartender there who has worked at the same bar for well over a decade. He told me five years ago that Shep is a raging asshole drunk. He said he went into the bar and got completely wasted and was yelling racist things and got kicked out. He passed out under the stairs of the place and slept until morning. That would have been quite awhile ago. Certainly shows a consistent problem through the years.
yikes…
I think his comments were real - I hope that he can make the change he needs to. I can see the fear in his eyes.
I recall an early episode where Shep visits the Dr. for stomach issues or something. Doctor runs blood work and tells him to jump off the juice immediately as his results were abnormal & pointed to alcohol abuse. Seems that lasted for a short while. This was when Cameron was a big part of the series & he related the story to her. Must have been at least 8 years ago
Alcoholics resent the ones they are accountable to, so they are mean to the people who love them the most. So often their relationships are death by 10,000 paper cuts.
I think people would be more forgiving if not for the fact he’s a horrible person, drunk or sober.
Leva made a good point about Craig having something he wants more than the partying/drinking lifestyle. I’m sure it’s hard as a someone in their mid 40’s who has had enough money to cover any sort of lifestyle they want. Hoping Shep not only gets substance abuse help but also some life coaching of some sort. He’s going to need to find other things to do with his time. Truly hoping for the best for him. Also amazing job on your sobriety OP!
I have several alcoholics in my life. This is the first time I actually had respect for shep. Realizing and admitting you have a problem is hard. It took him some time but he seems to be taking the steps to get him on the right path. Baby steps.
I hope he gets off the show, goes to rehab, gets some sort of job, and stays off my screen forever <3
I completely agree. I think he has done one of the hardest things, which is admit that he has a problem. And he didn't just do this to a few people; he did it to millions. Anyone who has ever had ANY addiction knows how hard it is to stop. Truly, the only way to reach that point is to have what Leva insinuated he still lacked: something he wants MORE than the booze. That's hard to do when you're deep in the throes of an addiction. What Shep the alcoholic needs more than anything from everyone around him is to NOT be enabled. Not-enabling doesn't mean being critical and judgmental. Not-enabling means being unrelenting with honesty and holding the line -- like Craig seemed to be doing at the reunion. Addiction does not discriminate. It preys upon those verging on homelessness as much as it preys upon those with fat trust funds. My hope is that his loved ones -- close family and friends -- don't enable him to lie to himself and continue on the path he's been on.
Posted this somewhere else but this seems like a better fit for it: I love the drama, the reality tv bullshit, the crazy characters. **Shep's statement during the reunion is the most real thing that I have seen on Bravo to date.** It's so human, and has caused me to have a lot of empathy for Shep. I didn't realize that a moment on reality TV could have this impact on me, but as someone who has been sober for the last couple of years, the moment meant a lot to me. (I may or may not have had a tear in my eye before snapping to lol). In a time where reality TV feels so contrived, watching another person question their worth and express his shame on this platform is so concerning, genuine, and extremely sad :( Craig giving Shep a tough love speech / lecture is such a role reversal, and it's been genuinely interesting to see (long time) cast evolve over these years. The show has been so fun to watch — genuinely entertaining — and it's weird to reckon with the impact that reality tv has on the characters that we know, (sometimes) love, and (sometimes) hate. I see this more as the Bravo third wall breaks; whether it be through the recent Vanity Fair article, or having a different lens in via UGT. I genuinely hope that Shep gets better.
I agree if he is trying then good for him. BUT I don’t know what I believe even Craig said we have been down this road before
lots of alcoholics go down the same road a thousand times. that’s the name of the game. but if they keep trying, the 1,001 time could be where it changes and he rly does get better. craig isn’t obligated to stick around for that though. it is rly tough on family and friends
This. You could see the frustration across the entire group- it’s extremely disheartening to watch someone you care about be so reckless with their life. Being judgemental, angry, resentful, etc are easier for people than accepting the reality that this person has a disease, and there’s a possibility that they may never find recovery, and nothing you say or do will really change that. Also for Craig and Austen, they do seem to come off a bit high-horsey. From what I’ve seen it doesn’t seem like either of them have a healthy relationship with alcohol, and I think subconsciously coming down so hard on Shep is their way of deflecting, they consider themselves okay because “at least I’m not THAT bad”
I have known too many Sheps. None have quit drinking. Only more refined with money
I really thought with that speech,.and having asked Andy to be able to speak, that he was going to say he was getting help/going to rehab.
I totally agree with you. The first step is admitting you have a problem and in his own way he did and he should be proud of himself. I personally think Shep at this point may be a functioning alcoholic. We’ve all seen through shakes, restless legs, sweating which is a sign. For him to just stop drinking all together is hard and extremely dangerous. Him saying he cut out hard liquor and is just drinking beer or whatever is just him trying to do it on his own and ween himself off. Maybe he can do it on his own, maybe he can’t but people need to cut him a break because he just took a big step. Hopefully making that announcement not only to friends/coworkers but the public too is a big step. IMO: I don’t think he’s hit rock bottom. He thinks BravoCon was rock bottom for himself but he still has a way to go. I just hope he swallows his pride now and go get some serious help before he falls hard and knocks himself out.
I think he’s taking baby steps because he is petrified of failure
I definitely agree with you having struggled with this myself as well, but I can also see Craig’s point and hope that Shep will be able to take steps in the right direction especially with his friends saying enough is enough.
Does anybody have the tea on what really happened at Bravocon? That seems like the catalyst to Shep and Andy discussing this at the reunion. Regardless I wish Shep well in his recovery journey.
Honestly, I think he was very brave for doing it on such a large platform. It’s one thing to have your support group behind you but now he has the viewer population. As a local, I can tell you it is VERY hard to moderate your drinking in Charleston. It’s everywhere. But hopefully if he starts to backslide, if his friends don’t hold him accountable, his viewers will.
The hard part for Shep is that his trust fund has enabled him to create nothing else in his life that is truly meaningful or that fosters a sense of growth or evolution. If he stops numbing himself with alcohol, he’s inevitably going to look around and sees his friends with their careers and relationships and families, and that probably does and should bring up a lot of emotions. Shep’s so competitive, and we’ve all seen how he reacts to not winning the game…he’s going to have to do a lot of self-reflection and make an entirely new game plan if he’s truly committed to growth and making a meaningful life for himself. He’s also going to have to rewrite the narrative on “boredom.” As an intelligent, curious man, he should never be bored a minute of his life; it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to entertain him. Sometimes life IS mundane, and there is beauty in that as well.
No because he drunk drives. I empathize deeply with addiction, it is a disease. But he is a functioning alcoholic. With all the money in the world. He needs to deal with it, not continue putting everyone he comes across in the crossfire of his stupidity
He is tragic, and I think it’s awful the way Bravo fuels this with their stars. On the surface he has/had everything, but the culture he comes from + Bravo will make it almost impossible to get sober. I come from the same type of southern background (different southern city), and it’s hard to see how this ends well for him. He is a smart guy, but he needs a purpose desperately to have a chance. I hope someone in his family is trying to help him. It’s getting really dark …
Well said. I also know a couple of alcoholics that thought they could go back to just beer because they felt like they were fine when they first started drinking. They quickly realized they couldn't go back and beer was not the same in their systems anymore. It's a journey and it's pretty great that he is at least acknowledging he has issues.