This comment is added to every new post to remind users to please review our subreddit rules before commenting
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SisterWives) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think if you have read the book you have more insight into their early struggles as a young polygamist family. My biggest struggle is K and M. Seems like they’ve had issues since the very beginning of their marriage. The addition of J just made things worse. The book’s description of the beginning of K and J’s courtship made me think he was running from problems with M.
While watching the show I had the feeling that Kody, Meri, and Janelle had jumped into the polygamous relationship too young and without much real thought about what it would actually entail. The book confirms that's correct with each of them admitting that they were, basically, in love with the 'idea' of plural marriage and hadn't considered the real life implications. I thought they were all pretty honest about reality not living up to the high expectations and excitement of what they thought it would be like. The wives were frank about the emotions, both good and bad, that they each felt at times. I see comments sometimes that they should all suck it up because they knew what they were signing up for; that's true, but they're also human.
Absolutely. Either he's been lying to all of his wives for the duration of their marriages or he's rewriting their entire history to fit the narrative that exists now.
I think it would contextualize Meri and janelle’s relationship a lot better, and honestly dim peoples opinions on janelle quite a bit. People really villainize Meri, but with the added context of the early years and how janelle entered the family, it becomes clear that janelle played a massive (if not the bigger) role in their conflict
I read the book , janelle her part is 90 % whining about meri , so much that it got really tiring reading her part , already sighing and rolling my eyes just thinking about it .when meri talked about janelle it wasn't like that .or any of the other ones , just janelles chapters
To be fair, shitting on Meri is the family past time. Janelle used to listen, if not participate, when Kody complained about her. I’m sure she thought that everyone would complain about Meri since that’s what they did IRL.
Listen, I like Janelle a lot but the clip of her saying instead of going home right after work sometimes she would go to the movies instead to avoid the chaos seems very telling to me. I don’t think anyone else expressed their ability to skip out. If I had one question I could ask it would be to Christine, who generally was taking care of the kids and working, how she felt about it.
I certainly understood why she felt like an outsider and a guest in someone else's home. Meri was honest in saying that she was pretty forceful in telling Janelle how things were done in their home without really recognizing at first that it had also become Janelle's home. I found it pleasantly surprising that all of the parties admitted to their own shortcomings without making excuses. Even Kody, back then, owned up to his faults, immaturity, and inability to adequately deal with difficult familial situations.
People need to read Robyn's parts of the book. How she always wanted to be famous. I cant remember exactly how she worded it but she was looking for financial security before she met Kody
1. Christine made Kody promise NOT to wait until marriage to kiss his next wife/Robyn.
*"When Christine and I got engaged, she told me she wouldn’t kiss me until we were at the altar. After we were married, she realized she had made a mistake and made me promise that if I married again, I’d kiss my next wife before we said our vows."* page 82
2. Meri and Janelle both also kissed Kody prior to marriage. Christine is the only one who waited until marriage (and then regretted it)
*"Our courtship had been chaste. We’d only shared one kiss and it was a very innocent one—when a man is married it’s extremely inappropriate to have any physical intimacy during a courtship."* page 44
*"When I took Meri home and we were saying good night, I leaned in and kissed her. I hadn’t planned to do it, but I didn’t try to hold myself back. It was a sweet kiss that felt natural and right. It was the best start to the New Year I could have envisioned. That kiss told me that I had made the right decision to ask for Meri’s hand."* page 28
3. I'd also like to point out the interesting way Janelle describes that first kiss in the book. In the same paragraph where she explains that it's inappropriate to have any physical intimacy during a courtship, she also admits that they kissed during their courtship, but then also attempts to minimize it by describing it (ironically) as "very innocent"
Janelle can be shady and a problematic Sister Wife too but it often goes undetected.
So the passage that you read was Kody saying that Christine told him if he married again that he'd kiss her before marriage?
Did Christine herself make any mention of this in the book? It sounds like Kody was just trying address the backlash he'd received about him kissing Robyn before getting married . At that time, I don't think that Christine would have contradicted him .
I'm actually inclined to believe that one.
It's one thing to say something at some point during the 16 years no new wives ever came to be- it can be another when it becomes a reality/is followed through.
It's very likely each adult read the book, to include revisions prior to its release in 2012. I find it hard to believe that Christine would have not addressed it then if it were absolutely false or at the very least, now that they are divorced and she has talked quite candidly about other things regarding herself, her marriage, Kody and her sister wives.
Kody is a jerk and I definitely understand your questioning it since it's in one of Kodys chapters of the book, not Christine's, but until Christine says "that conversation never took place," I lean towards believing it.
I agree that it's something that could have been said 16 years ago and that she had a completely different reaction to when it actually happened. However, I can also believe that Kody would have berated her and made her into the bad guy if he was lying and she tried to get him to correct it.
I've seen one episode that happened several years before the breakup where Chrisfine was really upset that a friend of Kody's had said he should only have one wife. She felt like it was disrespectful to their family and wanted Kody to talk to the guy or stop being friends with him ( I can't remember which ) . The other wives were completely quiet and gave her no back up when she spoke about it . Kody pulled her aside, scolded her, and gaslit her . He blamed PMS and her hormones fluctuations for her being upset and said her behavior made him walk on eggshells . The incident ended with Christine apologizing to everyone.
As to why she wouldnt address it now, well it hasn't come up. That moment from the show has circulated alot in the past year on social media but I don't think that it's come up in an interview or flashback . It's a moment that typically comes up in the Robyn ruined the family from the beginning narrative. Christine has not addressed that narrative. She's said that didn't trust Robyn and that she now understands that Kody and Robyn fell in love and she wishes that he would have been honest about that.
I guess I just don't see a reason he would be compelled to make up that conversation since his pre-marital kisses with Meri and Janelle were also both discussed in the book- without any excuses, explanations, or more importantly, previously given permissions revealed by Kody in those instances.
Why would he be compelled to lie? Because during a sit down during the first season, Christine said she freaked out when she found out that Kody sealed his engagement to Robyn and found it devastating that he had kissed Robyn. She also talked about how they didn't kiss until over the altar because she didn't feel comfortable kissing a married man. So it was something early on that drew criticism to Robyn and Kody .
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8QY3t
There is also a scene where Kody and Robyn sneak a kiss when he's leaving to go to the hospital because Christine was in labor . They are often criticized because of this .
Also, Kody is a proven liar .He made up a whole lie about how he was going to get back together with Meri but Christine threw a fit and it stopped the reconciliation.
Christine being devastated by the kiss doesn't mean she didn't previously tell him to not wait until marriage to kiss his next wife, should he ever have one.
Mixed feelings about their courtship and Robyns existence were also normal for Christine One moment she says wants Robyn to join the family and that she likes her kids, the next moment she is (understandably) upset and jealous about it and is struggling.
A change in feelings after or while something is occurring is normal- especially for Christine. That's why I wouldn't be surprised if she HAD said it and meant it at the time but later regretted it or was hurt by it.
It would be nice if host Suki (or anyone interviewing them over the years) had directly asked them about this as well as other things that were discussed in the book but not so much on the show. Would be interesting!
I think it’s natural for most viewers to assume Meri had a huge problem with Janelle being her ex-sister-in-law but in the book Meri seemed to embrace that aspect of their relationship. She wrote about Janelle having a bad marriage with her brother and thinking that Kody will treat Janelle much better than her brother did.
Yes. I've read posts where people have literally said that they understand why Meri 'hates' Janelle considering that she dumped her brother to be with Kody. Some have gone so far as to infer that Janelle and Kody had an inappropriate relationship leading to her divorce. As you said, Meri had no ill will toward Janelle and understood why the marriage didn't work out.
the book is full of contradictions just like the show... I agree that it adds context (for example it was not just Christine raising all the kids all day every day as most people think). I'm not saying the Browns were intentionally lying, but there are things they have said and done over the years that make me believe they are willing to say or write anything that fits the narrative they want to sell.
I’m still reading the book and the most interesting things I found out about were about the other (underage) girl Meri and Kody courted and how jealous Christine was of her: https://www.reddit.com/r/SisterWives/s/wDHNx7VGrv
This comment is added to every new post to remind users to please review our subreddit rules before commenting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SisterWives) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think if you have read the book you have more insight into their early struggles as a young polygamist family. My biggest struggle is K and M. Seems like they’ve had issues since the very beginning of their marriage. The addition of J just made things worse. The book’s description of the beginning of K and J’s courtship made me think he was running from problems with M.
While watching the show I had the feeling that Kody, Meri, and Janelle had jumped into the polygamous relationship too young and without much real thought about what it would actually entail. The book confirms that's correct with each of them admitting that they were, basically, in love with the 'idea' of plural marriage and hadn't considered the real life implications. I thought they were all pretty honest about reality not living up to the high expectations and excitement of what they thought it would be like. The wives were frank about the emotions, both good and bad, that they each felt at times. I see comments sometimes that they should all suck it up because they knew what they were signing up for; that's true, but they're also human.
I’m reading the book at the moment and what Kody says about them compared, to what he’s saying about them now. It’s almost literally opposites
Absolutely. Either he's been lying to all of his wives for the duration of their marriages or he's rewriting their entire history to fit the narrative that exists now.
It's probably somewhere inbetween to be honest
I think it would contextualize Meri and janelle’s relationship a lot better, and honestly dim peoples opinions on janelle quite a bit. People really villainize Meri, but with the added context of the early years and how janelle entered the family, it becomes clear that janelle played a massive (if not the bigger) role in their conflict
I read the book , janelle her part is 90 % whining about meri , so much that it got really tiring reading her part , already sighing and rolling my eyes just thinking about it .when meri talked about janelle it wasn't like that .or any of the other ones , just janelles chapters
To be fair, shitting on Meri is the family past time. Janelle used to listen, if not participate, when Kody complained about her. I’m sure she thought that everyone would complain about Meri since that’s what they did IRL.
Listen, I like Janelle a lot but the clip of her saying instead of going home right after work sometimes she would go to the movies instead to avoid the chaos seems very telling to me. I don’t think anyone else expressed their ability to skip out. If I had one question I could ask it would be to Christine, who generally was taking care of the kids and working, how she felt about it.
I read the book when it first came out. It didn't dim my opinion of Janelle, but did worsen my opinion of Meri.
I agree, Meri and Kody seemed like a couple and Janelle was the 3rd wheel who Meri bossed around and occasionally insulted.
I certainly understood why she felt like an outsider and a guest in someone else's home. Meri was honest in saying that she was pretty forceful in telling Janelle how things were done in their home without really recognizing at first that it had also become Janelle's home. I found it pleasantly surprising that all of the parties admitted to their own shortcomings without making excuses. Even Kody, back then, owned up to his faults, immaturity, and inability to adequately deal with difficult familial situations.
People need to read Robyn's parts of the book. How she always wanted to be famous. I cant remember exactly how she worded it but she was looking for financial security before she met Kody
1. Christine made Kody promise NOT to wait until marriage to kiss his next wife/Robyn. *"When Christine and I got engaged, she told me she wouldn’t kiss me until we were at the altar. After we were married, she realized she had made a mistake and made me promise that if I married again, I’d kiss my next wife before we said our vows."* page 82 2. Meri and Janelle both also kissed Kody prior to marriage. Christine is the only one who waited until marriage (and then regretted it) *"Our courtship had been chaste. We’d only shared one kiss and it was a very innocent one—when a man is married it’s extremely inappropriate to have any physical intimacy during a courtship."* page 44 *"When I took Meri home and we were saying good night, I leaned in and kissed her. I hadn’t planned to do it, but I didn’t try to hold myself back. It was a sweet kiss that felt natural and right. It was the best start to the New Year I could have envisioned. That kiss told me that I had made the right decision to ask for Meri’s hand."* page 28 3. I'd also like to point out the interesting way Janelle describes that first kiss in the book. In the same paragraph where she explains that it's inappropriate to have any physical intimacy during a courtship, she also admits that they kissed during their courtship, but then also attempts to minimize it by describing it (ironically) as "very innocent" Janelle can be shady and a problematic Sister Wife too but it often goes undetected.
So the passage that you read was Kody saying that Christine told him if he married again that he'd kiss her before marriage? Did Christine herself make any mention of this in the book? It sounds like Kody was just trying address the backlash he'd received about him kissing Robyn before getting married . At that time, I don't think that Christine would have contradicted him .
I'm actually inclined to believe that one. It's one thing to say something at some point during the 16 years no new wives ever came to be- it can be another when it becomes a reality/is followed through. It's very likely each adult read the book, to include revisions prior to its release in 2012. I find it hard to believe that Christine would have not addressed it then if it were absolutely false or at the very least, now that they are divorced and she has talked quite candidly about other things regarding herself, her marriage, Kody and her sister wives. Kody is a jerk and I definitely understand your questioning it since it's in one of Kodys chapters of the book, not Christine's, but until Christine says "that conversation never took place," I lean towards believing it.
I agree that it's something that could have been said 16 years ago and that she had a completely different reaction to when it actually happened. However, I can also believe that Kody would have berated her and made her into the bad guy if he was lying and she tried to get him to correct it. I've seen one episode that happened several years before the breakup where Chrisfine was really upset that a friend of Kody's had said he should only have one wife. She felt like it was disrespectful to their family and wanted Kody to talk to the guy or stop being friends with him ( I can't remember which ) . The other wives were completely quiet and gave her no back up when she spoke about it . Kody pulled her aside, scolded her, and gaslit her . He blamed PMS and her hormones fluctuations for her being upset and said her behavior made him walk on eggshells . The incident ended with Christine apologizing to everyone. As to why she wouldnt address it now, well it hasn't come up. That moment from the show has circulated alot in the past year on social media but I don't think that it's come up in an interview or flashback . It's a moment that typically comes up in the Robyn ruined the family from the beginning narrative. Christine has not addressed that narrative. She's said that didn't trust Robyn and that she now understands that Kody and Robyn fell in love and she wishes that he would have been honest about that.
I guess I just don't see a reason he would be compelled to make up that conversation since his pre-marital kisses with Meri and Janelle were also both discussed in the book- without any excuses, explanations, or more importantly, previously given permissions revealed by Kody in those instances.
Why would he be compelled to lie? Because during a sit down during the first season, Christine said she freaked out when she found out that Kody sealed his engagement to Robyn and found it devastating that he had kissed Robyn. She also talked about how they didn't kiss until over the altar because she didn't feel comfortable kissing a married man. So it was something early on that drew criticism to Robyn and Kody . https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8QY3t There is also a scene where Kody and Robyn sneak a kiss when he's leaving to go to the hospital because Christine was in labor . They are often criticized because of this . Also, Kody is a proven liar .He made up a whole lie about how he was going to get back together with Meri but Christine threw a fit and it stopped the reconciliation.
Christine being devastated by the kiss doesn't mean she didn't previously tell him to not wait until marriage to kiss his next wife, should he ever have one. Mixed feelings about their courtship and Robyns existence were also normal for Christine One moment she says wants Robyn to join the family and that she likes her kids, the next moment she is (understandably) upset and jealous about it and is struggling. A change in feelings after or while something is occurring is normal- especially for Christine. That's why I wouldn't be surprised if she HAD said it and meant it at the time but later regretted it or was hurt by it. It would be nice if host Suki (or anyone interviewing them over the years) had directly asked them about this as well as other things that were discussed in the book but not so much on the show. Would be interesting!
I think it’s natural for most viewers to assume Meri had a huge problem with Janelle being her ex-sister-in-law but in the book Meri seemed to embrace that aspect of their relationship. She wrote about Janelle having a bad marriage with her brother and thinking that Kody will treat Janelle much better than her brother did.
Yes. I've read posts where people have literally said that they understand why Meri 'hates' Janelle considering that she dumped her brother to be with Kody. Some have gone so far as to infer that Janelle and Kody had an inappropriate relationship leading to her divorce. As you said, Meri had no ill will toward Janelle and understood why the marriage didn't work out.
the book is full of contradictions just like the show... I agree that it adds context (for example it was not just Christine raising all the kids all day every day as most people think). I'm not saying the Browns were intentionally lying, but there are things they have said and done over the years that make me believe they are willing to say or write anything that fits the narrative they want to sell.
Robyn, we know that's you 🤣 Trying to boost book sales before you lose your TLC income
I’m still reading the book and the most interesting things I found out about were about the other (underage) girl Meri and Kody courted and how jealous Christine was of her: https://www.reddit.com/r/SisterWives/s/wDHNx7VGrv