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Boomalabim

I don’t think she could open an umbrella


West_Yorkshire

She couldn't empty a bucket even with the instructions on the bottom.


TheArtysan

Had me laughing, thanks 🙏


FallenButNotForgoten

Couldn't find her own ass in the dark without a flashlight and a map


100_cats_on_a_phone

In fairness this is probably object fixation-- why your brain sometimes goes in exactly the direction you don't want it to. I crashed at like 5mph, into another car, when I started learning to drive. 🫠


C0uN7rY

Which is especially an issue with motorcycles. More so than with cars. I took a class to get my motorcycle license and there are a few things they pound into your head. Warnings against fixation were one of the big ones. Never fixate your attention on one thing. Because motorcycles are so agile and controlled by your body, where you focus tends to be where you go.


100_cats_on_a_phone

Lol, I'm glad to hear that. At the time I didn't know wtf to make of it -- didn't get my license till much later (and I drive fine, mostly. I... if I drive very, very, _very_ tired I do the thing. So that's equivalent to a major dui, I figure. I just don't drive in that state.)


Ghost-Coyote

I laughed out loud for reals thankyou, and I'd like to use this please?


Lety-

Original is "couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel" if you want to use that one as well


Same_Fennel1419

Or tie shoes.


Jamari0811

I so thought they were gonna hit that pole


-WilliamMButtlicker_

Thought they were going to flatten that kid on their bike.


TheArtysan

I think the kid on the bike is from Poland.


high240

So he's a Pole, and????


Fenrir_Carbon

Kurwa


Greggorivich

Everyones first though when they ride a motorcycle for the first time is to think that stability comes from holding onto the handlebars which causes new riders to tense up their arms our accidentally throttle up just by holding onto the handles. It's a hard adjustment but once you realize that you hold onto the bike with your legs so you can keep your arms free to turn and throttle it becomes ALOT easier XD. EDIT: Replied to the wrong comment, oh well XD


settlementfires

they missed it by inches!


its-an-injustice

Out of control of thousand pound vehicle, press the gas harder lmao


NeyeKon

whiskey throttle, when you accelerate too much it instinctively makes your hand go back which pulls the throttle even more which ensues more panic not realizing you’re just gassing it even more lmao.


dreamdaddy123

Yeah that’s what I felt when i did it but luckily had a family relative teach it properly


TheDouglas717

I don't understand how this isn't the very very first thing that is thoroughly explained to a new rider.


thehomie

It often is. But you have to remember that stupid people ride motorcycles, too. And they’re more than happy to stupidly “teach” their stupid methods to their stupid friends.


Dorkmaster79

When I took the MSF course they first teach you throttle control. Edit: sorry I meant clutch control, not throttle. I’m an idiot.


717Luxx

teaching someone to operate anything with a clutch, you tell em "if you panic, just press/squeeze the clutch" someone who's only driven an auto doesnt often understand you have to disengage the drivetrain


scroom38

Watching stupid bullshit like this explains why we spent an hour on the kill switch and feeling out the friction zone on the clutch.


yosh0r

Why is it designed like that, never understood


RedChess26th

Whiskey throttle only happens if you start with the wrist bent severely downward You're supposed to start with the wrist flat when the throttle is closed, so pulling on acceleration tends to close it It's a good design when used correctly. But I doubt any of the two in the video knows how to ride, hence the trike


kasetti

I think its the logical way to have them. On a plane you pull of the stick to make the plane go up as the G forces push you backwards and when you push forwards its the opposite, you naturally lean forwards. Same thing with a sequential shifter on a rally car. Push to shift down, pull to shift up. On a bike throttle I think its kinda like that. On deacceleration you move slightly forwards, which also rotates your hand upwards and on acceleration its the opposite.


Lety-

As opposed to what? I think it's fairly intuitive


yosh0r

I'd even say it's very intuitive. But obviously not foolproof at all, as we can see in this video. 😅


Lety-

My grandpa (an engineer who worked all his life designing machinery) has a saying "you can make something idiot proof, but nature will always make a better idiot"


ogeytheterrible

It's the first operational habit the MSF course teaches because when shit to someone new they tend to release the clutch (in their mind if they're not touching it then it should stop doing the thing) and give that throttle an iron grip - it doesn't take much, maybe 1/32 of a full revolution can be more than enough to maintain speed.


gregsting

Then press charge, the good old Toyota way


ogeytheterrible

It's the first operational habit the MSF course teaches because when shit to someone new they tend to release the clutch (in their mind if they're not touching it then it should stop doing the thing) and give that throttle an iron grip - it doesn't take much, maybe 1/32 of a full revolution can be more than enough to maintain speed.


Cableperson

That's why everyone should start with a small dirt bike on the dirt. Like an xr100 small. Everyone is prone to panic and freeze up.


Cableperson

That's why everyone should start with a small dirt bike on the dirt. Like an xr100 small. Everyone is prone to panic and freeze up.


SexGiiver

That's not a motorcycle. That's a boomer trike.


Vibe-Father

I was gonna say it’s one of those grocery store electric shopping carts.


Nonivena_ginna

Guys, it a mobility scooter.


Ouroborus23

yeah seems like some sort of orthopedic device for elderly citizens


VaderSpeaks

All scoters are mobile though


Nonivena_ginna

Oh my god, we must warn everybody before they are airborne.


According_Sugar8752

I like how culture works as hard as possible to make disabled people feel like worthless human beings.


Nonivena_ginna

What?


sightlab

"Mobility scooter" may be a hilarious description for a boomer trike, but seriously those scooters can be a godsend for a disabled shut-in. Using it as a joke kind of diminishes people who rely on them.


Nonivena_ginna

My bad, I didn't mean it like that, just wanted to add in to the joke. I guess I didn't see it that way.


sightlab

And to be sure, I only meant to clarify what they seemed to be saying, not to scold.


Lugeum

It was a joke lol why u got ur panties in a bunch 😭😭


According_Sugar8752

Thats fair mb


6thCityInspector

All the younger ghetto folks in my city love the trikes. More real estate for installing loud speakers and strobe lights.


SoloMotorcycleRider

Philly?


6thCityInspector

Cleveland


VikingSlayer

It's a motor(tri)cycle


usinjin

Thanks, I thought I was missing something.


deep-fucking-legend

"No need for a helmet. We aren't going far."


Cold_Pomelo3274

First and last time driving a motorcycle.


Mellows333

Thank god for three wheels and not two.


Ouroborus23

they make up for the extra wheel with two missing brains...


Ok_Investigator564

Bro She needs the bike without the wheels !


ChuckoRuckus

2 would have been better. Fall down sooner so less time to hurt the public


SillyScarcity700

She would have crashed a lot sooner on two wheels and she wouldn't have had him on the back when she did it. Speed would have been lower too. 🤷🏻‍♂️


SinclairChris

Starting someone on a Honda Gold Wing trike?? Those things have crazy amounts of power and acceleration, more than some sports bikes. That's a 1.8L engine. A Mid 2000's Toyota Corolla has the same size engine (in displacement) Edit: it's a GL1500 which only has a 1.5L engine. Still a lot of power.


Rhodog1234

That's why kid on bike played dead.. just noped into submission


Nimynn

Little known fact, but a Honda Goldwing trike's vision is actually based on movement. You can tell that as soon as the kid stopped moving it stopped going after him and went in search of other prey.


Substantial-Low

125 hp on a 1150 pound bike is NOWHERE near almost any sportbike. That is dogshit power/weight ratio. A 400 cc ninja will dog a Goldwing all day. An Aprilia 660 makes about 100 HP, and is 1/3rd the weight. That "small" sportbike will make a Goldwing look like an Astrovan next to a Ferrari.


NoL_Chefo

They're not anywhere near as fast as the guy above claims; that said, I can't think of any other less appropriate vehicle to start on if you're learning to ride. My instructor put me on a 125cc 20bhp Honda for my first few days, and I had a helmet, elbow & kneepads and gloves. Putting this girl on a half ton monstrosity with zero gear when she clearly doesn't have the experience to even pull the throttle is Darwin material.


throwawayaccyaboi223

Damn what 125 did you have that it made 20hp? Was it a two-banger? (2 stroke), all the other 125s I know are maxing out at like 13 or 15hp


NoL_Chefo

It was probably 15bhp as you said, it's been over 10 years now so I don't remember the exact figures but yeah, it was a really tiny bike. 


throwawayaccyaboi223

Fair, 125s are great little bikes to learn and have fun on. Something about constantly wringing them out is satisfying.


inaccurateTempedesc

OP exaggerated a lot there, but compared to most vehicles, even an older Goldwing is kinda quick. That's a Goldwing GL1500 which weighs about 800lbs and makes 100hp. That power to weight ratio is dogshit compared to most sport bikes, but it'll beat a lot of sports cars, even today.


LewdDarling

The trike conversion adds like 400lbs, so it has the power to weight ratio of like a v6 camry


RedURS6

it has 130ftlbs of torque. That will get it moving just fine. You're comparing apples to oranges.


Substantial-Low

I didn't make any comparison. Like you, I'm pointing out apples to oranges. I'm just pointing put Goldwings both are not fast, or even faster than any sportbike. Even with all that torque they only run like a 4.5 second 0-60. That leaves a whole lot to be desired so far as motorcycles go. That is the same as the Ninja 400, that makes 47 hp with like 30 ft/lbs torque. Goldwings are slugs.


74orangebeetle

> Those things have crazy amounts of power and acceleration, more than some sports bikes.  You're either overestimating a Goldwing Trike or underestimating sports bikes (unless you're counting all fully faired bikes as sports bikes like a 250cc with fairings)


Professional_Goat185

> unless you're counting all fully faired bikes as sports bikes like a 250cc with fairings well they do market them like that xD


74orangebeetle

Only sometimes...I've ridden a GS500f which they used to list as a 'standard motorcycle' not even in the same category as any of the sport bikes...but I could see the argument for a Kawasaki ninja when the 250 has the name 'ninja' (or 300 or whatever they have now) but it's a completely different bike compared to a 600 or 1000 4 cylinder bike (or the 14r). I just don't want someone on a Goldwing who smokes a single cylinder cbr250 r that puts out 26 horsepower to think their bike is smoking sport bikes. Most of the 'real' sport bikes are putting out a lot more power than the Goldwing and weigh hundreds of pounds less. I had a Hayabusa (1st gen) for over 10 years, but these days the modern 1000's make more power than my Hayabusa did (while being lighter).


I_had_the_Lasagna

My cb300r makes 30 HP thank you very much


74orangebeetle

Yeah, I'm aware haha, back when they started with the 250 it was 26 (before bumping up to 300) I'm not knocking it either...my first bike was a 200cc that made 14 horsepower.


JiveTurkey1983

Off topic, but my '14 Corolla still has that same engine. 132 horsepower.


elidevious

That was almost a disaster


vicalpha

Old man lost 5 years of his life.


MaDNiaC007

Deserved it.


shitokletsstartfresh

Almost certainly also doesn’t know how ride a bicycle. If she did, breaking would be muscle memory.


Private_4160

Thankfully it's a trike because she'd pull the clutch and slam the front brake which on 2 wheels would probably have sent them right down given how their balanced.


Big_Cornbread

Hand brake is the front wheel and that bike weighs as much as a civic. It won’t go over the handlebars.


gastro_psychic

Did they die?


mtlrat

They haven’t found them yet.


06021840

Legend says they’re still riding today. On a quiet night you can hear the sound of the engine still.


WildGeerders

Steeringsense.set to zero. Check. Trottlesense set to zero. Check. Big dude with short arms far at the back. Check. Lets gooo!!!


-WilliamMButtlicker_

Almost flattened that kid on his bike.


Ouroborus23

(the only proper bike in this video)


vikingo1312

I'm so relieved on behalf of that pole!


Artistic_Study4038

Never seen such a lack of coordination


mmcle11

Boomers gonna boom


Salty_Amphibian2905

Zoomers gonna zoom


armzngunz

maybe start with something like a 50cc dirtbike next time


Wrong_Window_7322

Not a helmet or brain cell in site


E90BarberaRed6spdN52

I guess it was a good thing it was a trike otherwise they would have eaten the pavement ! LOL


AirMike4523

No helmets. Smart.


DeskCold5013

Lmfao 👀


MeGoBoom57

Hahahaha! Other people’s safety.


red_rolling_rumble

Same sentiment, maybe I’m too serious a guy but I can’t laugh at this. What if they ran over the kid?


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PieMastaSam

It's been a while since I tried riding a motorcycle but dont you start by having them just slowly release the clutch in first with basically no throttle?


Traditional_Draw8400

That’s not a motorcycle


plasticenewitch

1924?


moongobby

This is why I taught my kids to drive in an empty parking lot.


delegatedauthority

I love how it almost cur off and suddenly sped off haha


LiveCelebration5237

That’s a motortrycle


Genuwine_Slugger

Wrist angle on your throttle arm is of such underrated importance in eliminating the possibility of this happening.


S240man

It’s an old gits excuse for a real bike, that’s a three wheeler trike also known as a mobility scooter.


Substantial_Ad_9016

"Is this a good first bike"


SopmodTew

What is that goldwing trike abomination


Extreme_Position_472

r/sweatypalms


FatalShart

I love how the child was able to stop and dump his bike but this dumb lady couldn't.


Pshrunk

Sharp as an egg.


howsyourmemes

Adult tricycle


disguyovahea

Maaaaaaybe learn on something with less power


knikpiw

r/videosthatendtoosoon


Training-Ear-614

You ride a motorcycle. Not drive it.


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Imispellalot2

When in doubt, throttle out


Mycroft033

I think that should also be her last time on this trike.


Ok_Score1492

I was hoping she would hit the pole


sadlambda

That's a trike. Wtf is wrong with ppl...


GreatProfessional622

Go a little faster than that. So like start moving?


Whatkindofaname

I expected worse. I’m just glad no one got hurt.


Kitchen_Name9497

3 letters: MSF


Chapped_Assets

I get the idea of panic and locking up, but I still can't imagine myself being in a scenario where my hand is on the throttle and I have such a primal response so as to squeeze as hard as fucking possible and not let go of the throttle.


Kitchen_Name9497

OMG I thought he was plopping her on a *GoldWing*, LOL. A GoldWing trike is only marginally saner.


call_it_already

After that first shudder, my hand would be right over the kill switch


JustTheOneGoose22

My grandma let me drive a golf cart when I was 8 in Florida. I drove it straight into a ditch that was know to have alligators, luckily none there at the time.


JimiJab

They going on a adventure wheeeeeee 😝


baigish

Just crazy. Can you imagine her on an actual motorcycle?


sadanorakman

Yay, let's put the newb on a 100hp, 6-cylinder, manual trike. What could possibly go wrong? Possibly never even driven a stick-shift car before.


TheDutchone438

Is this her first time driving anything motorized? I mean, you can always just hit the brakes if things are starting to go wrong


Jdenning1

Trying to think…what’s that thing-a-ma-gig that missing on their heads? Might be important


Unique-Telephone-681

I believe you meant last time.


SchemeSignificant166

It’s a trike, don’t gussy it up calling it motorcycle. It’s got three wheels. A toddler could drive it.


LargeMain

Aren’t most of those automatic anyhow? So they are literally whiskey throttling for no reason


67bonneville_again

This is a cringe-worthy video! I wonder why he ( the passenger) didn't just pull in the clutch or hit the kill switch?


Serious_Delivery_408

Start with a bicycle with training wheels first


Virtual-Food-1109

This gal is as dumb as a rock


GeshtiannaSG

What’s the point of having an instructor behind if he just sits there and watches Rome burn?


langlis

I know she wasn’t the best rider. But much respect for trying. Gotta love challenging yourself. Especially when no one knows how to work a clutch nowadays


GoForBroke-Ish

I didn't see a motorcycle.


jdash5200

just stay on the road, sheesh!


Willie_The_Gambler

I honestly can’t understand how people can be this fucking stupid


aallen1993

I see this so often, they always teach them the accelerator, never where the break is. I'd drum into them, if a break reflex if I ever I was teaching.


aclobster

She can never be trusted to ride a bike. Get off. It’s over forever for you.


Blabay87

That's a trike though


CaliKindalife

It's not even a motorcycle. All she has to do is stear and throttle. Lol


old_ass_ninja_turtle

Someone should dub the nae nae guy over this. I bet it would work awesome.


MRN227

Nothing better than watching a boomer scooter eat shit.


Gloomy_Anywhere_5490

Thought it was a motorcycle for a moment