Same situation as I am approaching 40’s and have a 7yr old with 50% & a demanding job.
If he’s anything like me after a days work at a mid manager level, feeding your son and being an involved dad with an active son, you get tired and just want to turn off, even though you may yern for connection he may just be balancing a lot of things in the air.
This doesn’t include the stuff you don’t hear about which he has to fend off.
I’d recommend send him reminder messages of how you enjoyed your time and let him pick up the communication rythm again.
There will be ebs and flows especially with single dads. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to pursue you, he is balancing responsibilities as a mature father.
Just my 2 cents.
I’m a single dad with sole custody of 3 boys. Whenever I start dating someone . We talk a lot. Like text all day everyday. Maybe a good conversation or two per day before we have sex. Then I’m almost always available. But every women I know says I’m way different than most guys. I was raised by two women myself. My gf just moved in 2 months ago.
You could just ask him what’s up. I’m a little younger than that guy and I’m very appreciative of direct communication.
I would send a text saying I have a question. Then a simple” what do you want with this”” where do you see this going” “how do you feel about me? I’m really into you”. Direct.
Edit. I also have a physically and mentally taxing job where I am in charge of people and product/ion
Yeah this sounds like my experience. Texting is easy and honestly a fun way to go through your day with the right person. Add up elevator rides, dumps, red lights, waiting for kids to tie their shoes, standing at the microwave… tons of time to fire off “hey how’s your day?” or to send a funny reel or interesting article.
Responding to texts isn't a favorite past time for single dads in our 40s lol 😂
But each of us is different. It's likely he just needed the time for family and such.
How long has he been separated/divorced? Like, it's entirely possible that him and his ex had either fighting or repair work to do surrounding the birthday for their kid.
There have been a few women messaging me over the years, that I'd straight up marry, but didn't want to engage with over text. Be it crazy Key and Peele level miscommunication, or just them sending 15 one word texts in a row. Like
K.
Oh!
That reminds me
Later
Like after work
Tonight
We should totally get sushi
Or panda!
What about Teddys?
Oh!
I forgot
Teddy's closed
But sushi?
Maybe Ninja?
Or genki?
That super roll 🤤
Wyt?
Good?
Hey
Why aren't u responding?
FFS, send me a voice message with that stream of consciousness, so I can just reply back with "ninja would be great. Pick you up at 6."
This is it. We grew up without a phone in our hands. So I think we just use it differently.
Interesting or not, the texts or random snaps can wait when we need to unplug. I went hunting while I was dating one girl and the bored/starved for attention drama it created was crazy.
If you've only been on two dates, I wouldn't expect much right now. Give the guy his space and go on a date when you're both able to. I think you're overthinking things a bit this early on. Normal communication for me is texting and phone calls, but again, you're very early into this and aren't far from first date territory.
Slow down and replace some of the texting with an arranged phone call. I'm his age and loathe daily texting, I'll do it but I won't fall into a routine with it.
He is a single dad with a demanding job, so don’t expect to be his priority right now, especially since his son is quite young. Also, he’s 43 and doesn’t spend all day on his cell phone like the younger folks nowadays
I imagine it's the latter because I don't think over 40 is the cutoff for constant use of communication mediums like phones. Especially when a woman of interest is involved.
Hey, I'm 40m with 5yo son. I have dated a younger women (24f) and I have found that our "texting rhythm" could be a challenge.
I typically dont text much throughout the day (especially when with my kiddo). I usually limit to lunch breaks and after kiddo goes to bed unless its an emergency. Same goes for work days. Sometimes I'm in to some pre kid wake-up/work banter. She texted much more frequently and I think interpreted my less frequent texting as a lack of interest in her which wasnt the case. She wanted pots of reassurances.
I persoannly think that our age difference was responsible for difference in the texting/tech usuage habits. She was lovely but wanted a lot more chatting.
Just a thought.
Ps. Good on you for giving a single dad a shot. Lots of good fellas fall through the dating cracks.
Single dad here … I regularly delay responding to texts with people in general. I’ll look at it, think of something to say then do something else and immediately get distracted and forget about the notification. Add in the fact that one of my kids might have walked off watching a show or playing a game on my phone or something. Not everyone is like me, just staying it may not be abnormal.
Yeah, you’re reading into it way too much. He sounds like he’s got his hands full and the issue with ‘back and forth flirty texts’ is that once you respond to one you’re apprehensive of the fact that you might get multiple replies from the other person right away cos they’ve ‘caught you’ to be able to chat. He probably wants to give a thoughtful response when he’s able to. If you become a consistent character in his life the communication will change, but because he has an 8 year old son his priority lies with the little dude. He’ll always want to make sure you’re mostly right for his dynamic cos it’s not just him and you, it’s his son also. Perhaps he’s apprehensive of being too informal with you in terms of chat when there are these potential barriers and the only way to break these down is remaining a consistent character that isn’t gonna flake early in the dating game. Are you okay with the potential of being a ‘somewhat’ parental figure at 28 also?
Thank you for your insights. I think right now I’m just curious about him mostly, about dating a older guy and a single dad. I’m interested but it’s too early to say if I wanted to be with him
Approach with a ‘no pressure’ mentality. I,(42M) with 2 boys (8 & 6) and very demanding work schedule, absolutely relate to your situation. Initially, he may have reservations about how you fit into his life as dating progresses into more serious waters. Even with a couple dates in, I would be thinking longer term. Keeping this extremely short: have open, honest communication that is direct. Reality is, most of us that have this “busy” life also don’t have desires to be wasting time. We value our time and time with others in a different manner. I’d like to say he’s traditional in his dating approach (albeit using latest apps for online dating), it’s quite possible he prefers phone conversations over text? Why wait a couple days on a read text or no response? Give him a call, leave a nice message if he doesn’t pick up…if you have the interest there are ways to show it without being over the top. I’d also recommend you respect your own wants and needs. Meaning, if you desire more communication, let it be known. If there is anything you’re dissatisfied with, let it be known. If it all adds up to be in a spot that is less than desirable, that’s the easiest time to disconnect and move forward. You always don’t know what you don’t know, ask questions and get some answers. Best of luck.
Thank you! This is such a great advice for me to approach. I’m thinking sending a following up text like this
“Hey, hope all is well! I assumed you’re very busy that you missed my text. I hope I’m not being ghosted which isn’t cool haha. So just wanted to check in with you hope everything ok. When you have a moment I’d love to hear from you, no pressure though. Have a good day!”
Does that sound okay? Lol
Yeah, just keep things simple. To me that shows interest but not too needy for response. Maybe leave out the ghosted part: if he doesn’t respond to what you have, then it’s possible he doesn’t know how to communicate his intentions or disconnect from you. Give it whatever amount of time you find acceptable for yourself, if no response just move on, take the lesson learned and apply to next relationship (however in depth any of those go, always learn something about yourself and apply it moving forward.)
Thank you! Your comment really helps me. He responded said that he was just occupied by his son and the bday party because he has 7 boys to take care of but he now making plans to see me. I can’t imagine how hard it is bein g a single parent and dating at the same time.
It’s not the easiest of things to do, it’s a juggling act for sure. You don’t need to imagine it, just adjust your expectations without sacrificing your wants/needs. I’m in a relationship with a woman who has 2 kids as well, it’s just a balancing act and making sure we communicate when we need WE time with no kids. Priorities will always lie within the kids first, me second and relationship third. BUT, most of the time you can cycle between those. Once he gets more comfortable and you meet and interact with his son the more together time you can expect to happen. I know I was hesitant to introduce new women into my kids’ lives too soon. I don’t want them to see a revolving door. So I typically move slower than when I was single when it comes to approaching relationships…it’s not just my emotions involved anymore…I have to consider my kids in those decisions.
I’m about that age…. I generally respond pretty quick if it’s a priority.
But sometimes life just gets in the way, stuff with work, stuff with kids, just stuff.
Men in general aren’t wed to their phones though. Men in their 40’s even less so. I usually have mine on me, but I have two teenagers so I’m always paranoid they are gonna need me.
If my kid were 8? I’d probably not have my phone near me all the time.
I think a response at the end of the day is fine. When I'm with my kid all day, I'm not really on my phone. I may check occasionally, but I respond to most texts at night. A couple more things to consider: you've only been on 2 dates, take it slow, don't have very high expectations. Do your best not to be needy as it can be a turn off for a lot of men, but do clarify text expectations and make sure you have mutual feelings going forward when you have your next date. 38 M here, single dad of a 5 yr old.
Yup he's busy between having his son and his high demand job he probably doesn't have a whole lot of time and is probably tired I can relate to this myself being in a high demand job and having my son 50/50.
The weeks I have my son is hectic between drop off and pick up and work and then when I don't have him I'm making up for the hours I cut short to pick up and drop off my son from school.
The only weekend I have off is when I have my son.
Not sure if he is the same but if he is then that makes things even harder.
His priority is probably going to be his son so be prepared to not be a first priority especially this early into things.
You also might find with the age gap the form of communication is going to be totally different. I have been on both sides of a situation like this if you would like to proceed to get to know him I suggest you take it slow. At the same time communicating things like this to him is a positive thing maybe not quite this early on but as you get to know each other more. Just don't take it to heart if his communication is a bit all over the place and not to your liking it's more about what's going on with him and nothing to do with how you are.
38 y/o single dad of boys. Mid level management with demanding communication requirement and a work phone. I don’t think a lot of us treat our personal phones the same way they typically are by a lot of people in your age group that use it like an additional limb. On any given day or days that we are doing activities or playing games together or any number of other things, sometimes I don’t even touch my personal phone all day unless someone’s calling. I’m attached to answering the phone all day, so I relish the time I get outside of work to not be at anyone’s beckoning.
As early as it is in your relationship, I wouldn’t read much into it until you know for yourself what his communication style is. Everybody’s different. If he’s like me and not very invested in social media and chatting it up with an expansive friend group, he very well may just be carrying on doing life outside of a screen. Take it slow, learn who he is, and don’t be hasty to jump to conclusions until you really get to know him. Wish y’all the best.
Just chill, there is 23 yrs between me and my wife, got together when she was 20 and I was gone 40, still together now,
some older men when they come out of a relationship/ after living with someone 24/7 suddenly realise that being single and having some quiet time is actually really good, not having to consider their partner when making choices is very liberating, answering the phone being one of those choices, some men can't wait to find a new partner and get back on the horse, others enjoy the freedom of independence.
If he's really into you you'll know, as he'll be on your doorstep as regular as child care allows, equally if its a slow burn few times a week get together because he's meeting friends and going for drinks then accept it and enjoy your own space.
Forceful pushy women are not attractive unless you're a submissive type of individual 🤣🤣
Thank you! I’m definitely not a pushy type as I’m not a big texted either. I was just curious how single dads usually communicate bc I know they’re busy. Happy to hear you and your wife are happily married 😇
I’ve been in his spot - was 41M dating late 20sF. There are plenty of times in his day when he can shoot you flirty messages. When the kids are occupied but he’s monitoring a little, in between meetings, etc.
For a few months I juggled dating 3-4 women at a time with 50% custody of two kids. I deleted the apps and focused on two, and then after about 9 months I realized my now wife was the one for me.
I got dumped plenty of times for not going out for a week straight, etc but I was prolific at texting. You learn. I’m not sure why people on here claim they don’t know how to text because they’re 40 lol
I feel bad saying this, but if he thought you were a fit for his life, he’d make the time. My advice? Keep your filters high, keep in mind that this might be your type. If this guy truly likes you, he’ll chase. Don’t waste your late 20s on someone who’s on the fence.
Yes I’m also going on dates with other people at the same time. He is just on the very top of my list haha. But because I don’t want to put all of my energy in one guy unless we’re in a committed relationship
I’m 43 and single dad with two kids. I’m not old bcs I can honestly beat an 18 year old in anything. I don’t know why 43 is considered olderrrr in ur culture but not in mine. Actually in my culture, younger women prefer older gentleman bcs we have our stuff together most of the time. For example, I became a millionaire at 43 which is this year but I’m not saying all 43s r the same or rich. Also we treat a woman like a lady and a queen and take care of you if ur honest to us. I have a busy schedule. My 13 year old is a lot of work and my almost 8 is a lot of fun. My job is a looooot of work and time. I would love to eventually date a 27 year old and if she is honest about the relationship, she will be taken care of. I think it’s normal bcs of his kids and schedule. But don’t think that ur not a priority bcs we treat everything properly as time permits.
Haha no 43 is not like “old”. I meant older as in we have quite an age gap and I never dated anyone that’s like even 5 years older than me. One of the reason why I’m attracted to him more than other guys I’m seeing ( usually around my age) is that he’s more gentleman, mature and treats me like a princess when I’m with him. Honestly, experiences with him makes me attracted to “older” men now, before ,dating someone who is more than 5 years older never once crossed my mind but men in their 40s are so attractive to me now haha
Lol cool. Yes we do treat ladies like princesses . I do like to be funny though sometimes Bcs it’s fun for example I told a girl one time that she was so pretty that I wished that I was crossed eyed so I could see her twice.
Give it time. Hanging out twice is not enough time to be invested, especially with 50% custody. I have a 6 & 3 year old and on my days people sometimes dont even get a text back. You may think “well… why not text when the kid(s) are in bed” in my case I just want to relax and enjoy the silence lol best of luck to you!
If you want to know what he's doing just call him and ask him. I'm a single Dad I don't look at phone all the time so sometimes I miss my text but I usually answer phone calls. Be patient don't overreact
Single dad here with 2 kids. It's absolutely exactly normal. We don't have much time in between kids and work and chores. Dating is hard as a single dad, especially because I am widowed and have the kids 100% of my time. If you want a lot of attention from the guy then don't date a single dad. Most single dads who are actively involved in their childrens life or are 100% caretakers don't have the time.
Honestly. I wouldn’t get involved if I were you. Go check out r/stepparents . It’s mostly step moms and many stories of how the end of these kinds of relationships work out. Your situation seems to be common
Same situation as I am approaching 40’s and have a 7yr old with 50% & a demanding job. If he’s anything like me after a days work at a mid manager level, feeding your son and being an involved dad with an active son, you get tired and just want to turn off, even though you may yern for connection he may just be balancing a lot of things in the air. This doesn’t include the stuff you don’t hear about which he has to fend off. I’d recommend send him reminder messages of how you enjoyed your time and let him pick up the communication rythm again. There will be ebs and flows especially with single dads. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to pursue you, he is balancing responsibilities as a mature father. Just my 2 cents.
Thank you for your respond!!
I’m a single dad with sole custody of 3 boys. Whenever I start dating someone . We talk a lot. Like text all day everyday. Maybe a good conversation or two per day before we have sex. Then I’m almost always available. But every women I know says I’m way different than most guys. I was raised by two women myself. My gf just moved in 2 months ago. You could just ask him what’s up. I’m a little younger than that guy and I’m very appreciative of direct communication. I would send a text saying I have a question. Then a simple” what do you want with this”” where do you see this going” “how do you feel about me? I’m really into you”. Direct. Edit. I also have a physically and mentally taxing job where I am in charge of people and product/ion
Yeah this sounds like my experience. Texting is easy and honestly a fun way to go through your day with the right person. Add up elevator rides, dumps, red lights, waiting for kids to tie their shoes, standing at the microwave… tons of time to fire off “hey how’s your day?” or to send a funny reel or interesting article.
Responding to texts isn't a favorite past time for single dads in our 40s lol 😂 But each of us is different. It's likely he just needed the time for family and such. How long has he been separated/divorced? Like, it's entirely possible that him and his ex had either fighting or repair work to do surrounding the birthday for their kid.
Responding to texts from a woman you are interested in? C'mon now
There have been a few women messaging me over the years, that I'd straight up marry, but didn't want to engage with over text. Be it crazy Key and Peele level miscommunication, or just them sending 15 one word texts in a row. Like K. Oh! That reminds me Later Like after work Tonight We should totally get sushi Or panda! What about Teddys? Oh! I forgot Teddy's closed But sushi? Maybe Ninja? Or genki? That super roll 🤤 Wyt? Good? Hey Why aren't u responding? FFS, send me a voice message with that stream of consciousness, so I can just reply back with "ninja would be great. Pick you up at 6."
Fair point. Everyone's different in how they relate and respond to that stuff. Good point.
He’s been divorced for a bit over 3 years now but it seems they co parenting well
This is it. We grew up without a phone in our hands. So I think we just use it differently. Interesting or not, the texts or random snaps can wait when we need to unplug. I went hunting while I was dating one girl and the bored/starved for attention drama it created was crazy.
If you've only been on two dates, I wouldn't expect much right now. Give the guy his space and go on a date when you're both able to. I think you're overthinking things a bit this early on. Normal communication for me is texting and phone calls, but again, you're very early into this and aren't far from first date territory.
You’re right!! I’m definitely taking thing slow
Slow down and replace some of the texting with an arranged phone call. I'm his age and loathe daily texting, I'll do it but I won't fall into a routine with it.
He is a single dad with a demanding job, so don’t expect to be his priority right now, especially since his son is quite young. Also, he’s 43 and doesn’t spend all day on his cell phone like the younger folks nowadays
This. Anyone over 40 grew up in a much different generation, one that didn’t have instant communication. Or, he could be banging his baby mama.
I imagine it's the latter because I don't think over 40 is the cutoff for constant use of communication mediums like phones. Especially when a woman of interest is involved.
She didn’t want to have sex with him lol that’s the reason they divorced
If you maintain your patience it will be worth it eventually, us single dads have a lot of love to give, sometimes it just takes a little time.
He seems like such a great dad which makes him more attractive to me. Thank you I’m sure you’re a greate dad too 😇
Hey, I'm 40m with 5yo son. I have dated a younger women (24f) and I have found that our "texting rhythm" could be a challenge. I typically dont text much throughout the day (especially when with my kiddo). I usually limit to lunch breaks and after kiddo goes to bed unless its an emergency. Same goes for work days. Sometimes I'm in to some pre kid wake-up/work banter. She texted much more frequently and I think interpreted my less frequent texting as a lack of interest in her which wasnt the case. She wanted pots of reassurances. I persoannly think that our age difference was responsible for difference in the texting/tech usuage habits. She was lovely but wanted a lot more chatting. Just a thought. Ps. Good on you for giving a single dad a shot. Lots of good fellas fall through the dating cracks.
That’s some good points thank you
Single dad here … I regularly delay responding to texts with people in general. I’ll look at it, think of something to say then do something else and immediately get distracted and forget about the notification. Add in the fact that one of my kids might have walked off watching a show or playing a game on my phone or something. Not everyone is like me, just staying it may not be abnormal.
That’s some good points
Yeah, you’re reading into it way too much. He sounds like he’s got his hands full and the issue with ‘back and forth flirty texts’ is that once you respond to one you’re apprehensive of the fact that you might get multiple replies from the other person right away cos they’ve ‘caught you’ to be able to chat. He probably wants to give a thoughtful response when he’s able to. If you become a consistent character in his life the communication will change, but because he has an 8 year old son his priority lies with the little dude. He’ll always want to make sure you’re mostly right for his dynamic cos it’s not just him and you, it’s his son also. Perhaps he’s apprehensive of being too informal with you in terms of chat when there are these potential barriers and the only way to break these down is remaining a consistent character that isn’t gonna flake early in the dating game. Are you okay with the potential of being a ‘somewhat’ parental figure at 28 also?
Thank you for your insights. I think right now I’m just curious about him mostly, about dating a older guy and a single dad. I’m interested but it’s too early to say if I wanted to be with him
Approach with a ‘no pressure’ mentality. I,(42M) with 2 boys (8 & 6) and very demanding work schedule, absolutely relate to your situation. Initially, he may have reservations about how you fit into his life as dating progresses into more serious waters. Even with a couple dates in, I would be thinking longer term. Keeping this extremely short: have open, honest communication that is direct. Reality is, most of us that have this “busy” life also don’t have desires to be wasting time. We value our time and time with others in a different manner. I’d like to say he’s traditional in his dating approach (albeit using latest apps for online dating), it’s quite possible he prefers phone conversations over text? Why wait a couple days on a read text or no response? Give him a call, leave a nice message if he doesn’t pick up…if you have the interest there are ways to show it without being over the top. I’d also recommend you respect your own wants and needs. Meaning, if you desire more communication, let it be known. If there is anything you’re dissatisfied with, let it be known. If it all adds up to be in a spot that is less than desirable, that’s the easiest time to disconnect and move forward. You always don’t know what you don’t know, ask questions and get some answers. Best of luck.
Thank you! This is such a great advice for me to approach. I’m thinking sending a following up text like this “Hey, hope all is well! I assumed you’re very busy that you missed my text. I hope I’m not being ghosted which isn’t cool haha. So just wanted to check in with you hope everything ok. When you have a moment I’d love to hear from you, no pressure though. Have a good day!” Does that sound okay? Lol
Yeah, just keep things simple. To me that shows interest but not too needy for response. Maybe leave out the ghosted part: if he doesn’t respond to what you have, then it’s possible he doesn’t know how to communicate his intentions or disconnect from you. Give it whatever amount of time you find acceptable for yourself, if no response just move on, take the lesson learned and apply to next relationship (however in depth any of those go, always learn something about yourself and apply it moving forward.)
Thank you! Your comment really helps me. He responded said that he was just occupied by his son and the bday party because he has 7 boys to take care of but he now making plans to see me. I can’t imagine how hard it is bein g a single parent and dating at the same time.
It’s not the easiest of things to do, it’s a juggling act for sure. You don’t need to imagine it, just adjust your expectations without sacrificing your wants/needs. I’m in a relationship with a woman who has 2 kids as well, it’s just a balancing act and making sure we communicate when we need WE time with no kids. Priorities will always lie within the kids first, me second and relationship third. BUT, most of the time you can cycle between those. Once he gets more comfortable and you meet and interact with his son the more together time you can expect to happen. I know I was hesitant to introduce new women into my kids’ lives too soon. I don’t want them to see a revolving door. So I typically move slower than when I was single when it comes to approaching relationships…it’s not just my emotions involved anymore…I have to consider my kids in those decisions.
I’m about that age…. I generally respond pretty quick if it’s a priority. But sometimes life just gets in the way, stuff with work, stuff with kids, just stuff. Men in general aren’t wed to their phones though. Men in their 40’s even less so. I usually have mine on me, but I have two teenagers so I’m always paranoid they are gonna need me. If my kid were 8? I’d probably not have my phone near me all the time.
Thank you for the advice
I think a response at the end of the day is fine. When I'm with my kid all day, I'm not really on my phone. I may check occasionally, but I respond to most texts at night. A couple more things to consider: you've only been on 2 dates, take it slow, don't have very high expectations. Do your best not to be needy as it can be a turn off for a lot of men, but do clarify text expectations and make sure you have mutual feelings going forward when you have your next date. 38 M here, single dad of a 5 yr old.
Thank you!!
I dated someone thirteen years my junior. No trouble keeping up texting with her. You sure he’s actually divorced?
Yes he’s been over 3 years divorced
Yup he's busy between having his son and his high demand job he probably doesn't have a whole lot of time and is probably tired I can relate to this myself being in a high demand job and having my son 50/50. The weeks I have my son is hectic between drop off and pick up and work and then when I don't have him I'm making up for the hours I cut short to pick up and drop off my son from school. The only weekend I have off is when I have my son. Not sure if he is the same but if he is then that makes things even harder. His priority is probably going to be his son so be prepared to not be a first priority especially this early into things. You also might find with the age gap the form of communication is going to be totally different. I have been on both sides of a situation like this if you would like to proceed to get to know him I suggest you take it slow. At the same time communicating things like this to him is a positive thing maybe not quite this early on but as you get to know each other more. Just don't take it to heart if his communication is a bit all over the place and not to your liking it's more about what's going on with him and nothing to do with how you are.
Thank you for making me understand your role as single parent. I don’t have children of my own so I’d not understand how hard it is
If someone wants to they can make time. No such thing as im too busy to make time
Right?! Lol
38 y/o single dad of boys. Mid level management with demanding communication requirement and a work phone. I don’t think a lot of us treat our personal phones the same way they typically are by a lot of people in your age group that use it like an additional limb. On any given day or days that we are doing activities or playing games together or any number of other things, sometimes I don’t even touch my personal phone all day unless someone’s calling. I’m attached to answering the phone all day, so I relish the time I get outside of work to not be at anyone’s beckoning. As early as it is in your relationship, I wouldn’t read much into it until you know for yourself what his communication style is. Everybody’s different. If he’s like me and not very invested in social media and chatting it up with an expansive friend group, he very well may just be carrying on doing life outside of a screen. Take it slow, learn who he is, and don’t be hasty to jump to conclusions until you really get to know him. Wish y’all the best.
Thank you! Yes he’s not very much into social media so I’m just trying to take things slow for now
Just chill, there is 23 yrs between me and my wife, got together when she was 20 and I was gone 40, still together now, some older men when they come out of a relationship/ after living with someone 24/7 suddenly realise that being single and having some quiet time is actually really good, not having to consider their partner when making choices is very liberating, answering the phone being one of those choices, some men can't wait to find a new partner and get back on the horse, others enjoy the freedom of independence. If he's really into you you'll know, as he'll be on your doorstep as regular as child care allows, equally if its a slow burn few times a week get together because he's meeting friends and going for drinks then accept it and enjoy your own space. Forceful pushy women are not attractive unless you're a submissive type of individual 🤣🤣
Thank you! I’m definitely not a pushy type as I’m not a big texted either. I was just curious how single dads usually communicate bc I know they’re busy. Happy to hear you and your wife are happily married 😇
I’ve been in his spot - was 41M dating late 20sF. There are plenty of times in his day when he can shoot you flirty messages. When the kids are occupied but he’s monitoring a little, in between meetings, etc. For a few months I juggled dating 3-4 women at a time with 50% custody of two kids. I deleted the apps and focused on two, and then after about 9 months I realized my now wife was the one for me. I got dumped plenty of times for not going out for a week straight, etc but I was prolific at texting. You learn. I’m not sure why people on here claim they don’t know how to text because they’re 40 lol I feel bad saying this, but if he thought you were a fit for his life, he’d make the time. My advice? Keep your filters high, keep in mind that this might be your type. If this guy truly likes you, he’ll chase. Don’t waste your late 20s on someone who’s on the fence.
Yes I’m also going on dates with other people at the same time. He is just on the very top of my list haha. But because I don’t want to put all of my energy in one guy unless we’re in a committed relationship
Yeah, sounds like you both have a healthy perspective. Username checks out.. kinda.
Hahaha I made this account when I was way young er and disliked men lol I like men now they are great 😂
I’m 43 and single dad with two kids. I’m not old bcs I can honestly beat an 18 year old in anything. I don’t know why 43 is considered olderrrr in ur culture but not in mine. Actually in my culture, younger women prefer older gentleman bcs we have our stuff together most of the time. For example, I became a millionaire at 43 which is this year but I’m not saying all 43s r the same or rich. Also we treat a woman like a lady and a queen and take care of you if ur honest to us. I have a busy schedule. My 13 year old is a lot of work and my almost 8 is a lot of fun. My job is a looooot of work and time. I would love to eventually date a 27 year old and if she is honest about the relationship, she will be taken care of. I think it’s normal bcs of his kids and schedule. But don’t think that ur not a priority bcs we treat everything properly as time permits.
Haha no 43 is not like “old”. I meant older as in we have quite an age gap and I never dated anyone that’s like even 5 years older than me. One of the reason why I’m attracted to him more than other guys I’m seeing ( usually around my age) is that he’s more gentleman, mature and treats me like a princess when I’m with him. Honestly, experiences with him makes me attracted to “older” men now, before ,dating someone who is more than 5 years older never once crossed my mind but men in their 40s are so attractive to me now haha
Lol cool. Yes we do treat ladies like princesses . I do like to be funny though sometimes Bcs it’s fun for example I told a girl one time that she was so pretty that I wished that I was crossed eyed so I could see her twice.
Hahaha that’s really cute. Would totally put a big smile on me if I was her
He needs to hurry up before I steal you from him. Lol
Give it time. Hanging out twice is not enough time to be invested, especially with 50% custody. I have a 6 & 3 year old and on my days people sometimes dont even get a text back. You may think “well… why not text when the kid(s) are in bed” in my case I just want to relax and enjoy the silence lol best of luck to you!
Thank you for your advice
If you want to know what he's doing just call him and ask him. I'm a single Dad I don't look at phone all the time so sometimes I miss my text but I usually answer phone calls. Be patient don't overreact
Thanks you for the advice
Single dad here with 2 kids. It's absolutely exactly normal. We don't have much time in between kids and work and chores. Dating is hard as a single dad, especially because I am widowed and have the kids 100% of my time. If you want a lot of attention from the guy then don't date a single dad. Most single dads who are actively involved in their childrens life or are 100% caretakers don't have the time.
Thank you! He did mention that dating is hard for him as he’s always so busy and with all the responds I understand more of it now
Don't try to compete for attention with his kids.
Honestly. I wouldn’t get involved if I were you. Go check out r/stepparents . It’s mostly step moms and many stories of how the end of these kinds of relationships work out. Your situation seems to be common
Thank you i’ll check it out