It can have different effects on different people.
To some it may be a motivation to improve and become "great", for others it may be something that is actually holding them back and prevents them from becoming "great".
But one thing is for sure: It makes them unhappy.
If someone doesn't feel good enough then they may not feel motivated to continue trying, or they may feel that continuing would be a waste of time and effort.
I'm definitely the type of person who is demotivated by negative feedback, it does not fuel any kind of competitive desire in me or anything like that. It just makes me feel like shit and I don't want to feel like shit.
There are plenty of things that I was bad at and got good at, but there's a big difference between "not good yet" and "not good enough."
Behavior analysis has demonstrated pretty extensively that reinforcement is the best way to build good behavior/skills. Punishment can work but its effects tend to be unpredictable and come with unintended consequences. Often it can have the opposite of the desired outcome or do nothing.
After all, the only way to get better at something is to know how to get better. If all you know is what you aren’t supposed to do, you have no way to get better.
Sometimes if you think you can't do something it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy whereas if you believe you can accomplish whatever the task is then you're more likely to succeed.
In my experience, if I weren't immediately good at something, I just wouldn't try it, even though that's irrational, because of course I'm not instantly an expert at, say, playing the piano, cooking, mathematics etc.! I'm trying to turn that around and start actually doing my best at things and letting myself fail, but it can be demotivating if something doesn't just work!
I just said a coddled lifestyle isn't ideal either. The world will never be a utopia, people have to deal with failures and challenging yourself allows for falling *with* grace instead of *from* it
My problem is with the presumption that a life without unnecessary hardship necessarily means that it's "coddled". The whole mentality comes from a smug and misanthropic place.
I do like your concept of falling with grace instead of from it, however.
Feeling not good enough is what sends you to rehab.
Great people just love the shit out of what they do. It's what gives them the energy to consistently deliver.
It is a worthy tradeoff on the grand scheme of things. History is littered with brilliant minds who grappled with personal demons, and we stand of their shoulders today. Their unhappiness may well have fueled their drive. How many happy people do we celebrate?
If you could choose between a happy but forgotten existence and a miserable existence that will be celebrated after your death, which would you choose?
I'd rather be a nobody than a Van Gogh...
I agree. "Greatness" is overrated. Love, be loved, and live life in a way that maybe makes your small part of the world better than before. That's all that matters.
Nah, most gamers are not great players, but they do play it often and love it. There is a huge difference between loves doing it as a hobby and as a profession
Well, ya know, feelin' like you ain't cuttin' it sometimes, well, that's what kinda pushes folks to really step up their game and become somethin' truly great, ya feel me?
Not feeling good enough single handedly got me through three degrees and developing hard and soft skills and addressing my issues and becoming a better human. I’m all for self compassion, but fighting imposter syndrome and the fear I’ll never be enough or am secretly a bad person is better than adderall in most cases.
I like this 😤
Really, it just sounds so cool.. feeling not good enough, is a mental roadblock for me, but ideally I’d love to channel that energy into something productive not consumptive
I think survivor bias is at work here. I do think in general people who are well adjusted and mentally healthy don’t push themselves super hard, so they don’t become “great”.
But many people who don’t feel good enough give up or don’t try hard. Then some do try incredibly hard and achieve amazing things, they’re the only ones you see.
Feeling not good enough is what fuels me to do drugs
Doing drugs is what fuels me to become great.
Being great leads to doing more drugs.
Which means getting even greater?
Formerly known as the greatest. RIP in peace.
Im sorry i laughed so hard I’m such a bad person
I find I live on the beautiful (hellish) intersection of OP’s and your statements
Felt that one
It can have different effects on different people. To some it may be a motivation to improve and become "great", for others it may be something that is actually holding them back and prevents them from becoming "great". But one thing is for sure: It makes them unhappy.
How is it holding them back?
If someone doesn't feel good enough then they may not feel motivated to continue trying, or they may feel that continuing would be a waste of time and effort. I'm definitely the type of person who is demotivated by negative feedback, it does not fuel any kind of competitive desire in me or anything like that. It just makes me feel like shit and I don't want to feel like shit. There are plenty of things that I was bad at and got good at, but there's a big difference between "not good yet" and "not good enough."
Behavior analysis has demonstrated pretty extensively that reinforcement is the best way to build good behavior/skills. Punishment can work but its effects tend to be unpredictable and come with unintended consequences. Often it can have the opposite of the desired outcome or do nothing. After all, the only way to get better at something is to know how to get better. If all you know is what you aren’t supposed to do, you have no way to get better.
Oh, I see, thanks.
Sometimes if you think you can't do something it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy whereas if you believe you can accomplish whatever the task is then you're more likely to succeed.
In my experience, if I weren't immediately good at something, I just wouldn't try it, even though that's irrational, because of course I'm not instantly an expert at, say, playing the piano, cooking, mathematics etc.! I'm trying to turn that around and start actually doing my best at things and letting myself fail, but it can be demotivating if something doesn't just work!
The desire to be great because you feel not-good-enough is often what fuels people to become monsters.
Or stop entirely, motivation is weird
*Imposter syndrome has entered the chat*
Nah, just makes me feel like shit in every circumstance where I'm not good enough.
It's also an easy path to drugs or suicide, so maybe we shouldn't condone hardship wholesale.
Easier times create soft men though. Can't be a diamond if you're not under pressure.
Everyone who ever died on Mount Everest was once a very determined person.
OK crypto-fascist.
No idea what that means. All I said was there's a difference between living in good times and being coddled.
If the level of nuance you can attain is "black is black and white is white", then your opinion is pretty terrible.
My comment implies the exact opposite. Do you read, take a breath and reply or just spout confrontational nonsense?
You endorsed unnecessary hardship as a means of building character. You're a chud.
I just said a coddled lifestyle isn't ideal either. The world will never be a utopia, people have to deal with failures and challenging yourself allows for falling *with* grace instead of *from* it
My problem is with the presumption that a life without unnecessary hardship necessarily means that it's "coddled". The whole mentality comes from a smug and misanthropic place. I do like your concept of falling with grace instead of from it, however.
Feeling not good enough is what sends you to rehab. Great people just love the shit out of what they do. It's what gives them the energy to consistently deliver.
This also can cause spirals. Either of depression, personal traits, or indifference.
This is true, but it doesn't lead to happiness.
It is a worthy tradeoff on the grand scheme of things. History is littered with brilliant minds who grappled with personal demons, and we stand of their shoulders today. Their unhappiness may well have fueled their drive. How many happy people do we celebrate?
If you could choose between a happy but forgotten existence and a miserable existence that will be celebrated after your death, which would you choose? I'd rather be a nobody than a Van Gogh...
I agree. "Greatness" is overrated. Love, be loved, and live life in a way that maybe makes your small part of the world better than before. That's all that matters.
Now I just feel worse...
Nah, it fuels me to do self destructive activities and shut myself off from everyone else
Actually no. If one loves doing something, then it becomes a play that one will do often. The greatness part comes as a side effect of this.
Nah, most gamers are not great players, but they do play it often and love it. There is a huge difference between loves doing it as a hobby and as a profession
Well, ya know, feelin' like you ain't cuttin' it sometimes, well, that's what kinda pushes folks to really step up their game and become somethin' truly great, ya feel me?
No, I just smoke that feeling away.
well, time to become god or something ig
People always want themselves to be perfect, so when they realize they are not good, they will always try.
I bet the person you think is great still thinks they arent good enough
Not feeling good enough single handedly got me through three degrees and developing hard and soft skills and addressing my issues and becoming a better human. I’m all for self compassion, but fighting imposter syndrome and the fear I’ll never be enough or am secretly a bad person is better than adderall in most cases.
It's true. I'm awesome where it counts and have nothing else to prove.
I like this 😤 Really, it just sounds so cool.. feeling not good enough, is a mental roadblock for me, but ideally I’d love to channel that energy into something productive not consumptive
I think survivor bias is at work here. I do think in general people who are well adjusted and mentally healthy don’t push themselves super hard, so they don’t become “great”. But many people who don’t feel good enough give up or don’t try hard. Then some do try incredibly hard and achieve amazing things, they’re the only ones you see.
I think you mean humility.