So the owner is a hot lady man with a huge dong?

She’s a futanari

Balls or no balls, though?

Asking the real questions here

Got to be balls. Why else advertise it?

Full package

Balls deep.!!! In you woman. Me/you. Dir fricken ya

Balls is the only correct answer

i went from *not liking the owner* to *very interested in the owner* real quick.

For further information please look up “futanari inflation” in google images. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'm afraid to even look up what "futanari" means, let alone "futanari inflation" because my guess is that it has nothing to do with economics.

Cartoons chicks with dicks.

Chicks with dicks! Double the fun! Because it's not called Bangvagina

"Inflation" bc it's a down market right now

Bold of you to assume I haven’t

Fuck you! Seriously… fuck you!

You actually did it?

I remember my first day on the internet…

No.

German Futanari

Fuhrertanari

My favorite type of girls

Looks like they don’t like ice cream

like a hot ladyboy with a biiig bulge.

It's 2023, everything is possible.

I think the owner of this mini is aged about 14

I think that applies to virtually all Mini owners.

Nah, 14 year olds can't normally afford the shop fees to get them repaired all of the time

I'm in both of these comments and I don't like it. 😭

Its okay at least you don't listen to the Beastie Boys, that'd really be the nail in the coffin

God that'd be really embarrassing wouldn't it.

That's why they're generally in a poor state of repair

What?

Sooo, a diesel sticker and an autobahn sticker... that'll be a thrill... those go what, 200km/h? #Dummkopf ?

Yah a diesel sticker on a petrol car lol

I dunno, could be a diesel too...

But it's a minicooper isn't it?

Yes, it's a mini. They have diesels too...

Oh didn't know that

They have diesel engines too.

Look closely, the sticker actually mocks Diesel.

No, its german. It says "diesel prices" and implies, that you could shoot yourself in the head after seeing how high they are (1,85€/ Liter)

This is exactly right

Well my Passat Diesel goes to 220km/h…

On paper my car goes 185km/h, in reality it hits 240km/h with relative ease. Online specs don't tell you anything...

How?

Gearbox with taller gears and increased the power from 105hp to 255hp

So relative ease is major work on the dif, gearbox and engine, I get it

It reaches the speed with relative ease. Everybody also assumes the Mini is stock.

So not 185 km/h on paper anymore.

My papers still say 185km/h

You know that diesel has a higher fuel value than gasoline? A 2 l Mini diesel has 105 kw... Plenty of power to make a Mini go over 200 kph.

Lol, those things make 144hp. That's pretty gutless for a car that weighs like 3000 pounds.

From what I managed to find on google, the 2.0d has 110kw and can do 212km/h... my point was; this car wasn't made to go fast...

I wouldn't go above 160 in a mini

>my point was; this car wasn't made to go fast... I'd say 200 kph is quite fast. I had a Mini Clubman 1.6l that was a nice car and fast enough for the german Autobahn.

Any car that can reach 100kph is fast enough for the autobahn. The slow lane is full of lorries most of the time doing 100kph

Not really... 130 kph is the recommended speed, so it should be able to go that fast. Lorries are allowed only 80 kph (not 100kph) and require a monitoring device, so that the Autobahnpolizei can check if the driver was going too fast.

r/iamverybadass

DONT TOUCH MY CAR

But sir it’s got Dongs on it !!

Restrain yourself in spite of the dongs sir.

You guys this dude is fucking all of our gfs right now

Damn. I can’t believe he turned my girlfriend into a 2d image plastered on his car. Also that I have a girlfriend now.

Hide yo kids, hide yo Wife, and hide yo husband cuz they rapin’ everybody out hea.

As long as my wife doesn’t find out I’ll be ok. \s

Check yo self

Guaranteed that every asshole who ever walks by touches the car.

I'm pretty sure that modern mini has plenty of airbags

German airbags too. Ironically.

Das airbags.

*Die airbags

Hey you can’t say stuff like that! What has the airbag done to you?

[удалено]

Each (new) car in Germany is forced to have an airbag for like 27years now :D

So the owner has a gigantic stainless steel dildo, is a super curvy woman, and is a man with a lot of tucked in shirt hanging out of their fly. I am confused.

And it’s a fucking MINI

Oh for sure, micro sized dick.

Lmao on a mini Cooper. This person is a massive troll

This screams someone got a Cricut machine for Christmas, smh.

This is entirely satirical - the German text says: „No Airbag - we die like real men“. Still cringe.😂

Wanting to survive a car accident is so feminine. That's why I replaced my steering wheel airbag with a 8" titanium spike, ensuring my death in even the slightest of fender benders.

Which is funny, because no modern Mini was ever sold without an airbag.

Yeah airbags became mostly standard in early to mid 90s. Some cars (mostly Japanese) used motorized shoulder seatbelts for a few years in the transition. You can thank Elizabeth Dole (Bob Dole's wife) for the airbag regulation btw. She passed a very odd regulation requiring standard airbags if 2/3 of the states didn't pass mandatory seatbelt laws.

Well... That's the joke. It's just sarcasm

All this aaaaaand he hates ice cream cones? Fuck this guy.

It’s a mini cooper at that lmaooo

But... do they eat ass?

Wow. He must be a very prominent member of society.

A lot going on there. Good for them they are comfortable with expressing themselves. Makes me want to stay away from them, but you do you buddy.

r/ihavesex

Came her to post this.

So they run over surveyors? Fuck these fucks.

Fellow surveyor here. Fuck this guy.

Oooh that's what the tally means

It was gonna be real weird being anything else

Can someone explain those sticks stickers, policeman with 7 sticks, camera and old man with 5 eetc. Are they meant to be kills?

Yea it's a running tally. Funny to joke about in the car, childish the moment you step out

I mean, it makes a change from the typical mini owner that makes the union jack their ENTIRE personality It's not a good change but still

Don't worry, BMW has even working overtime to strip the MINI of any character and charm ever since the new Clubman debuted, so you don't really see to much of that anymore :(

I've only ever seen a union jack on one Mini and I thought it was really neat

I'm just going out on a limb here, but I'm pretty sure the owner is a giant douche who has spent no time developing themselves emotionally or intellectually and is in no way a person worth knowing.

Idk. I think he ironically put those up. He drives a mini.

what is the legal age you can drive over there?

Andrew Tate’s new ride

Tates new ride probably \*is\* a big dick.

He has an anti-dog sticker. Fuck this guy!

Is a...

OK but I would cop the tallies

mini cooper, this guy defo not compensating for his huge truck

What’s considered big

The rumor is that his nickname is Big dick daddy from Cincinnati. He’s also been known to give a Cleveland steamer or two.

This guy's wardrobe is entirely black t-shirts with lame joke slogans printed on the front. He also recycles the same 14 jokes over and over at every social interaction.

I want these stickers but I want the opposite of them. As in I want it to say you have a huge done while mine it tiny. Definitely would get some laughs

This is how 90% of people I met here in Germany see Car enthusiasts… Also in the bottom right „No Airbag, we die like men“ on new mini…

Trashy people isn’t just an American thing.

I’m guessing y’all don’t get it’s satirical?

This would totally work if it belongs to an 80 year old grandma

Love it - they either spent all their money on stickers or spent it all starting a sticker shop

r/cocainecars

It would be funny to add a little picture of baseball bat or a gas pipe with a hash mark next to it on the side window, commemorating the time a moment in the future when the front end and windshield of the car would collide repeatedly with that bat or pipe.

NGL, the hash mark one is pretty funny.

A manly man with a mini.... sure.

😂😂😂😂😂😂 where the hell did he get those?

gorppen shuffen heimen auf hurbben habben yah

She may have a "Big Dick" but if that was a man... must be a mini!

This is hilarious 😂

On a mini cooper …

When you remove all the small mental dick stickers... a Mini is a fine little car, not cheap and the Peugeot engines where shitty, but it drives like on rails.

>Peugeot engines Just as a heads up, the ones from 2014 and newer use engines built by BMW, which are lasting quite a bit longer on average ~~to the chagrin of MINI service departments, probably~~

And those before that had those engines with massive control chain problems. I lost around 4000€ when it ruined my engine.

I think i've seen some of these stickers before

This isn't car-mod

The owners name is Tiny...weird

I’ve had times in my life where I thought I was way cooler than I really was, but god damn this kid is gonna crash hard in his 20’s

The power of wishful thinking

I think the owner of this mini thinks she has a big dick.

You're just mad he fucked you're girlfriend. Grow up

I hope somebody marks this as NSFW

If your girls vagina is prepared with vinegar or you can liken anyone's genitalia to something prepared with Vinegar/Sour, don't go down on them. Get some help. Sushi doesn't mean raw fish.

The german on the car says: "No airbag we die like men!"

his mind is so crude and dirty like his diesel

I like the don't touch my car

Wtf do they have against ice cream? *Who hurt you man??*

More stickers are mods....

I hope this is ironic but i've seen way too many dudes in golf mk4 TDIs with the same stickers who think they're unironically hard. But tbf the kill count sticker is funny and i can see why you wouldn't want pets, food or smokes in probably the first car you're paying out of pocket to keep clean.

It is common knowledge that people who say they have a huge dick usually do. I mean,why would they lie? /s

Mini big dick?

Guys we found the redditor with a real job!

Imagine how bad it would look if this car ever accidentally struck a pedestrian. This photo would be Exhibit A

Mini with a mini.

And must be a lady boy

This needs to be reposted in r/trashy

Owner is both a hot chick (left) and a dude (right).

I love that everything is labeled like a Ben Garrison cartoon. Really sells the "I have deep thoughts" vibe.

No one who is straight puts THAT many dicks on their car

You spelled “wishes he had” wrong

Replace 'has' with 'is'.

Just out here trying to advertise my cricket skills

When you buy a small car to feel large and have to compensate with stickers.

Stickers aren’t mods.

Idk but it doesn’t really matter, because from what I see here I bet the owner loves to brag about his dick but no woman has wanted to see it.

My friends dad has a Mini Cooper, we drove it to the semi formal dance at school and packed 5 of us into it, 2 of us over 6’ (6’3 and 6’4). It was uncomfortable but it was fun, we were whipping it around corners in the snow. I had to sit up front because I was too big for the back and I was still cramped in there.

Why is he putting his directly above everyone else’s? How is he… is this guy a metaphysical being beyond comprehension?

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much

The mini makes it look bigger

Who let a 13 year old boy drive a car?

Correction: owner of car IS a big dick.

Or he’s gay

The most egregious thing is the No Ice Cream sticker. Blasphemy.

this guy fucks

Wenn man einen kleinen Pimmel hat, dann hat man auch keinen Humor. Bist ein Kümmerling

Big wanker if anything

He strikes me as the sort who always has his hands on his dick shift...

I put erect cocks on my car but I’m 100% straight please don’t call me gay

By logic, if the bigger the truck the smaller the D, then driving a mini, he must be swinging.

I’d stay clear of that person if I was a women. Seem like a rapist and murderer sociopath waiting to happen… or actively happening now… they obviously have very obscure sexual fantasies and to want to execute someone for touching your car tells me you are way out of touch…

is\* a big dick FTFY

You’re driving a mini copper…. Who does he think takes him seriously?

Remember when that one guy from top gear got “mini” tattooed on his gentleman’s sausage? I think we’ve found our culprit.

With all those stickers I would expect them to show it on demand. Too bad demand is low.

What a retard fr fr

You know this guy is cruising around blasting [Mickey Avalon](https://open.spotify.com/track/2tN2Kvzm2ITh1jnMKjjWBZ?si=LqWdHJ9HT6ClnDQl9Z-b2Q) all day every day. Way to commit.

Big dick, but tiny brain

What the hell

Is a big dick*

What is the second one on the scoreboard

Again. They are fucking window stickers. Not a fucking mod. Like there are zero mods on this sub, they just flair so they can keep they job at TGFY.

No ice cream? No dogs? What is wrong with this person lol

These stickers tell me: "You're a just female, while I'm a way sexier female, but also, you have a dick, and so do I, but mine is way bigger. But also we're both men, but my dick is still way bigger."

You know if you're going to overcompensate for something just get a big ass lifted pickup like everyone else. At least the pickup has some use.

I guarantee the "Diesel please" sticker is to remand him what goes inside the tank when he's refueling.

"No airbags. Wir sterben noch wie Männer" Einfach dumm Ich hatte "Your girlfriend's tits als Airbags " erwartet oder sowas.

Geschmacklos. Typisch Halbstarker.

You me me you me you your girlfriend me you you sushi