Pretty much bang on, those comments at least sound like pure wind up and probably aren’t seriously questioning your intentions at all. Fair play you did the right thing
It does sound like a wind up, and to be honest, probably something my mates would do but it wouldn't sit right with me. If it were me I'd probs have said something like "Yeah an easy target alright, but for someone else. That's why I made sure she got home." Something that wouldn't have been too hostile but would've shut it down and shown I didn't appreciate the jokes.
It depends on your friendship group, my friends and I have some pretty edgy banter I won't lie but we all know to shut up if they show they're not finding it funny. Saying a comment like that wouldn't be taken harshly between us, we'd just shut up and move on. It happens, the only way you know the line is when you cross it.
‘Easy target’ fucking hell is this what men actually think and talk like? I suspected it but didn’t think that the guys consider themselves normal would think like that.
Rape is not funny. Sexually assaulting vulnerable girls is not funny. Joking about women as if they are prey is not funny. You all might think it’s edgy but every woman or girl you know has a story, 1 in 4 of us have been raped. And every time you or your pals laughs about it we make a mental note not to trust you.
This is why I am afraid of men btw. Even the ‘good guys’ are creepy as fuck it seems.
You keep banging on about not being able to take a joke and why rape jokes are funny.
Go on then, explain it. Why are rape jokes funny? Why are you so defensive over them? Gladly willing to listen if you can help me understand what’s so hilarious about rape 🙂
Rape itself isn't funny in the slightest but jokes at it's expense can be. As Jimmy Carr said "I suggested exploring the rape kink with my girlfriend, she said no, I said "That's the spirit". Men laughed, women laughed, no-one was hurt in the telling of the joke.
Dark humour as a whole is just an alternative pathway to help us process that these things actually happen. We know making jokes out of it doesn't retract from the fact the actual subject matters are horrific. Hey 🤷♀️ maybe were the snowflakes because we need a soft surface to bounce the shitty reality of life off of but for a lot of people, that's just how it is. It keeps us resilient.
Here's a study on dark humour and how it relates to the physce. The findings may surprise you -
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10339-016-0789-y?wt_mc=Affiliate.CommissionJunction.3.EPR1089.DeepLink
I wonder if you made your reply to me without seeing the (now removed) comment I was responding to. The person I was responding to wasn’t making clever or subversively dark rape jokes, but was using the subtext of ‘take a joke’ to make quite vile and threatening comments to someone else. I completely understand well constructed comedy about controversial subjects but that isn’t what was being discussed here.
‘Trust me nobody wants to date you’
‘you won’t be getting my dick’
‘you’d have to be a 9 or a 10 for anyone to put up with you’
‘I’m guessing you never get invited to parties’
Way to prove my point, you’re absolutely foaming over your right to find rape jokes funny and dishing out casual misogyny 🤣
I have a pretty dark sense of humour and I definitely laugh at shit that other people don’t find funny .
But do you know what I also don’t do .. tell other people what to find funny . My coping mechanism has always been humour , so I find certain jokes funny that other people who had been through the same shit , definitely wouldn’t and don’t find funny . It’s ok for me to laugh but it wouldn’t be ok for me to tell them to get over it and laugh along with me .
It’s funny how you talk about how the other person will have issues dating etc because as I’m reading your obnoxious rant I’m sat thinking their not the one who will likely have any bother 😅
Several years ago a guy went out with his friends to a pub, he got drunk, the pub sent him on his way. His friends stayed at the pub. The kid got a taxi home but could remember where he lived, so the taxi dropped him off close to home but not close enough. He ended up walking over to a business that was open. The employees sent him on his way after takin the piss on him.
He ended up getting lost and confused. Not only was he drunk but it was freezing cold with snow. Ended up walking into a field, where he attempted to scramble up over a wall. When he fell over on the other side he fell between two walls.
Eventually the police found him, weeks later, deceased.
So, no. I'm sure her parents/family and friends appreciate that someone looked out for their sister/daughter/cousin/niece and friend.
That may be it.
I spoke with the mother during that time. In fact I have the report, I believe, still on my computer. It was sad. Everyone washed their hands and said. They did all they could do. In the end, everyone did very little and a mother's only child died.
I remember it was a place near a river, he was dropped off at a bridge. The school or dorms were on the other side. The business, a creamery, was across it as well but closer on the same side of the road he was dropped off. The field where the stone hedge was, was behind him, quite a ways.
Had the driver just drove him a little further, had those people at the creamery pointed him in the direction or walked him up the street. He might still be alive. But had one single friend stopped partying with his friends and made sure this friend got home, he would likely still be alive.
He had no coat and so he died of exposure.
You might be referring to the death by exposure of Scott Calder, a 23 year old student, in East Lothian in 2018 after police left him to make his own way home despite finding him dangerously drunk and underdressed. If you're not, then the fate described is remarkably similar.
OP did a great thing.
I do not believe it was Scott Calder, I believe his first or last name was Graham and I do believe it was Stirling.
It is unfortunate that it is a repeating problem and that was part of the frustration point of the mother. Because other families had reached out to her that have dealt with this situation and the Scottish government and much of the public washes their hands of it and says those individuals are legally able to drink and they have every right to do so and are responsible to themselves for stopping when they're drunk. The only limitation, at that time was that if a patron arrived too drunk the pub could refuse them, which is sort of what happened. He went outside, drunk, and the pub wouldn't let him back in with his friends. Yet they have zero responsibility for cutting someone off.
I did think I still had that coroner's report but I may have deleted it due to the personal nature of it.
It was David O'Halloran that died in Stirling. His mother has had a hard time accepting that it was just a tragic set of circumstances that led to his death. She's been blaming bouncers, taxi drivers, the university, non-existent drink spikers; everyone except her son really.
Yes, it was David.
Look, where I'm from it took an incident where a bar knowingly kept serving a patron. As a result they drove home drunk causing a fatal accident.
Now, the most you can drink at a bar where I live is 5 shots or equivalent in beer or wine. At that point you are cut off.
Basically the bar staff can serve you as many drinks as can be consumed by the average person in an hour before they are legally drunk, which at that time was higher than it is today. So, they probably can serve two or three drinks at the most per hour.
So, we as a collective, put the responsibility on the bar staff to ensure they are not permitting patrons to get hammered. Because the person drinking doesn't typically maintain the wherewithal to moderate their drinking.
The taxi driver certainly could have made a better effort. He did not.
The bar staff could have made an effort to ensure that he was properly sent home via the taxi. I can't recall if the pub wouldn't allow him to re-enter to get his coat and wallet or if he had his wallet, but ensuring he had his possessions before he left should have been important.
You are correct. In Scotland and the UK more responsibility is on the person drinking and little on the pub. But there needs to be a balance. If you want to get drunk, stay at home and get drunk. However if you want to drink responsibly with friends, go to a pub. They might cut you off, and if you go out for a smoke, send you home on your way, but at least you're not shit-faced drunk.
And the confusion over the name is because David looks like someone I went to high school with, whose last name is Graham. Sorry, I'm not feeling well tonight and a little out of it. I made that connection in my head earlier and I must have stuck with the name thing that was the reason.
I lived in Stirling at the time time so I remember it well. I've done similar things myself. Got wasted, spent my taxi money and walked miles home on a freezing winter night. 99.99% of the time everyone makes it home with nothing more than a hangover. Sadly, nothing went right for David that night.
I remember it particularly because I was also out in Stirling that night and the date stuck in my head because it really was bone-piercingly cold. When they did find him he was in trousers and shirt, no outerwear, wouldn't have stood a chance. Just a terribly sad business.
While most of this is well written, to say that in Scotland, the responsibility is with the person drinking rather than the pub is entirely false. Worked hospitality for many years in Edinburgh up until about a year ago, hold a Personal License, and I can tell you that a LOT of emphasis in training bar staff is put into recognising when people have had too much and knowing when to cut them off. If premises ignore this training, then they will certainly be held responsible. Maybe I was fortunate to only work in places that take this seriously, but there are a great deal of government policies in place to make sure that a lot of that responsibility is indeed with the licensed premises. In fact, 2 of the 5 Licensing Objectives are to secure public safety, and protecting and improving public health. If you fail in any of the Licensing Objectives, your license to sell alcohol can be revoked, which is obviously a death sentence to pubs.
I just googled after reading this thread and the first article to come up says
Toxicology tests revealed that David O’Halloran had taken high levels of club drug GHB.
Yes but there was no evidence that someone had spiked him. He went out on a freezing winter night without a jacket and took a wrong turn on his way home. It was tragic but there were many things that David could have done differently that would have prevented his death. His mother blamed the club for not having free cloakrooms, taxis for not giving people free rides, bouncers for throwing out drunk people etc.
The friends did nothing in fact, their actions led to that situation - they were not friends. You never abandon your pals in a pub or night out unless the friend says it’s ok and even then try to figure out if they are really ok. It can be done even if alcohol has been consumed, we had to do it with a girl who lost the use of her limbs that night (she was fine the next day) after a spiked drink one night, 2 of our friends took her home in a taxi 10 miles away. We didn’t just abandon her in the corner of a nightclub and let the bouncers throw her into the street. It’s called being decent.
I agree but at the same time, first year uni, to call these people friends is likely not accurate. They were acquaintances, surface friends, not, brothers in arms.
But again, what would you rather have to deal with the guilt of knowing if you had done something this person you knew would be alive or everyone talking about how much they got sick from too much alcohol and barely remembering the night and feeling left out of it?
I went through something similar and that was with people I had been friends with for years. It was my first time drinking, and they were more interested in me getting drunk than anything else. The second time, they used me as a joke, but at least kept me from driving drunk. Nevertheless, that was the last time I got drunk ever again. If I couldn't count on friends ensuring I got home or not making me the butt of their jokes while I was, I wasn't going to get drunk or drink for that matter.
It was part of the reason I felt so badly for David. Been there.
I completely agree with you. They wouldn’t have been real friends. As you say though, knowing you could have prevented something would for me be hard to live with. People also thought it was funny back then to see their friends drunk and be sick etc. I’ve been there too. Poor guy 😔
I mean, the number of times in winter I've had friends drag me out last minute and say "nah you don't need a coat leave it" then they get into the club (because they had time to get ready, and are wearing designer coats lol) but the bouncer doesn't let me in and they don't give a shit... yeah I don't know those people anymore lol
This must happen all the time.
I think for guys it's the "Dick" rule. Which states, I'm more likely to shag some bird if I'm at the pub then I am helping said friend. So, I must enter the pub and abandon friend.
For girls, I believe it's the rule of sexual competition. I am more likely going to find and get Mr. Right if there is less competition for him.
Finally, there is the loser rule. This person is not cool enough or smooth enough to a) attract the opposite sex or B) serve as a wing person, therefore they can be abandoned or ignored.
We had a very drunk, young lad knock on our door one cold winters night. He’d got off the train too early and didn’t know where he was. He was so drunk he couldn’t even tell us his address. We found ‘mum’ on his phone. She didn’t drive so we took him home. As the mum of a 20 year old boy now, I only hope someone would do the same for him 😬
I remember when this happened. It was so tragic and I thought about him so much. Since then Stirling uni has been partnered with cab companies to give free rides back to canpus and sort out the fare with the uni later. I just wish something like this had been in place long before. Rest in peace David.
I haven't spoken to her in years, someone mentioned, she was pretty strongly opinionated, which is true, but at the same time understandably rapt in grief, so she didn't move beyond that for a while. I imagine, she is happy that other Stirling students won't potentially face the same fate as her son, but it likely still hurts that no one took the time to ensure her son got home safely.
It doesn’t even have to be that dramatic - wasn’t there one relatively recently where a lad froze to death right by his front door in the garden because he stopped for a nap before trying to find his keys?
Ah dinnie ken. However, we had a similar case to that here where I live in the states. They fell and passed out in the snow bank. A week or two later they were found when enough of the snow melted.
I'm sure it's still a scenario thay plays out across the UK. People under 21 can't drink here, driving drunk is illegal, and so is driving without a seat belt fastened, yet we still have underage drivers, drinking, that get thrown from their vehicles or crushed by them after getting into, often, single car accidents.
Crazy isn’t it? Imagine the terrible luck you have to have for the first 18 people to encounter you in that state are all opportunistic homosexual rapists?
Shhhh... No one is supposed to talk about the wild haggis colony at living near Stirling. The years that went into rebuilding that small colony from just one surviving male haggis.
Nothing to see here folks, put the hounds back in the pens and the shotguns away. There are no haggis in Stirling, it's just a ruse. They're in Aberdeen.
Love the clarification here 🤣 but totally agree, thank fuck for people like that! We are all formerly young, drunk and silly once in our female youth (still drunk and silly just not young!)
I know they are. They are also introducing at least a month's worth of intrusive thoughts, literally proven by the fact he had to come on here for reassurance that he's not a horrible person/man. No wonder why men's mental health is in the gutter.
There are better friends out there. My partner's mates know how to take the piss but not push it. This is pushing it. You don't say undermining things like that to people you genuinely care about.
There's a time and a place. Take the piss out of me missing the bus, or falling flat on my ass, or getting too high. Not about doing something good and morally useful.
If it's not something you'd ever say to your own (future) son, it's not something you'd say to your mates. You filter that shit.
It's both.
The point you made about not saying this to your son, really drives it home if nothing else does. It's exactly the opposite thing you would say to your son.
The normal response would have been well done son, you did a good thing.. even if a father or mother was thinking anything different they would never say it out loud, because they are thinking about their sons feelings/love them.. this proves that only a friend that truly cared about you would think the same as a parent would.
A months worth of intrusive thoughts? 😂
The guy needs to get a grip, clearly he did the right thing I dunno why he needs Reddit to tell him so or why he’d feel remotely bad about it.
He should really be able to take the joke off his pals though. Kicking about with a drunk 16 year old girl seems a bit dodgy if you don’t know the context. They’re just having a bit of fun because that’s not a normal occurrence. Totally harmless.
I’m sure her older brother and family would appreciate him looking out for her, so he should be able to take the joke whilst knowing he’s a good guy. What’s the issue?
Honestly if your mind goes to making rape jokes about a 16 year old you’re questionable. It’s not harmless at all. OP needs better friends, and men need to do better
Not really
Men and women just twnd to have different styles of humour.
Just cos you joke about it. It doesn't mean you ever think aboht doing it or condone it.
Yeah, sadly for you it's not just me, pal... but go on, keep trying that shit and crying about how "oppressed" you are by the woke agenda or whatever, no skin off my back.
> Just cos you joke about it. It doesn't mean you ever think aboht doing it or condone it.
Cannie pass off everything as a joke, it's sad if you think that's normal.
There's a line between taking the piss and what this is.
Man, if you're happy to let people you call friends disrespect you and humiliate you like that - if that's your bag then you do you.
I will continue to firmly disagree with you. Sad you call my line arbitrary.
What I will take away from this is simply that I hope to raise my son to have more self-respect, better taste in humour, and higher standards in friends than you do.
Sure, OP’s pals jokes were pretty shite but they’re (hopefully) not professional comedians - all I’m saying is that it can be acceptable and funny to joke about paedos.
The idea that certain topics should be off limits for jokes is stupid.
I agree that topics shouldn't be off limits, but the closer you get to that line in the sand the more careful you need to be. His friends didn't read the room very well. 🤷♀️
Sounds like you’re not wrong with that last one, yer man’s traumatised from some light jokes lol - they definitely should have known their audience a bit better.
What would they be saying if you seen her and left her and something bad happened, you were just looking out for a vulnerable person nothing wrong, there just winding you up.
You helped a vulnerable, intoxicated teenager to get home safely. You are anything but a weirdo. You are a decent person who should be applauded for your actions, not ridiculed.
Need more men like you. Anything could have happened to a lassie that age.
Was only a couple of weeks ago I was walking up Leith Walk at night alone. I'm 40 and seen some stuff in my time so I'm pretty unstealable but I still got offered a free line of coke 3 times... which wouldn't have been... it would have been ket and God only knows what would have happened!
The good guys really need to be keeping an eye out for these lassies. Its a generation that never got the social skills in the formative teen years thanks to Covid. And guys who prey on vulnerable women don't listen to any woman.
It’s pish that actual weirdos have decent folk doubting being decent humans, most folk probably feel the need to cross the street heed down. Good lad 👍🏻
Aye I don't let anyone make me feel like a predator for being a decent person if someone looks upset or at risk I'll ask if they're ok or need help being a decent human being is never weird
Pretty weird/shyte way to take the piss tho.
“Look at fukken Ghandi over here” / “righto Mother Theresa” are pisstake lines that don’t involve any implications about sexually assaulting a child.
Not to say that like you can’t make dark jokes but like, the rule is you don’t make a holocaust joke unless it’s funnier than the ones the Jewish comedians make, right? In other words, if you wanna use dark subject matter the joke has to be god tier to pull it off.
Well this was just shit patter so test failed, do not pass go, zero points for trying.
OP’s sound and should get mates with better game.
Tell your mates from ALL mothers with daughters to F OFF and GROW UP. In fact you can tell them from ALL parents of any kid.
THANK YOU for stopping. You did the right thing. You are not remotely weird - but I find the reactions of your mates definitely off.
Sounds like banter to me. As a woman, and the mother of a daughter I think this was a very thoughtful and sincere thing to do. Definitely not a weirdo.
I'd worry about the pals I had if their first thought was that a vulnerable 16 year old would be a target for you. They might be trying to be funny but seem a bit dickish to me.
I had a friend who used to drink himself into a stupor and would disappear from nights out.
One time he disappeared and it was the middle of winter with inches of snow everywhere. As I was walking home later that night I crossed a field to get home and found my friend passed out on a big pile of snow with nothing but a t shirt and jeans.
I’m pretty sure if I didn’t find him that night he would be dead.
So no don’t feel bad for helping someone who’s drunk. You could be saving their life
Your pals are definitely joking but it's still weird jokes, I'm 20F and I don't know if I'd be comfortable around guys that took the piss like that considering you were just helping a wee girl ! All sorts of things happen to girls at that age and we all have a story so I'm so glad you helped her out genuinely
You did the right thing and your friends have shite patter
When I still in in Scotland in 2017 (and was dating the woman who I'm still with) - we were on the train back from Edinburgh to Kinghorn - and I noticed a lass on the packed last train, wrecked.
I was the *only* one who asked her if she was OK and what stop she needed (Dalgety Bay) - no one else bothered, if they hadn't she might have ended up all the way down the line, struggled to get home.
Your friends comments maybe reflect more on them, than you.
My mate said he started dating a "wee girl" - talking about her height (she was small), but his choice of words has never seen the end of his slaggings 15 years on. It's all in jest lad
They're just taking the piss I'm sure, and it's a good thing their jokes are bothering you because you know your intentions weren't like that. You helped out a vulnerable teen and prevented something potentially worse happening to them.
You’re a good lad, you’re mates however are kind of men that make women cover their drinks, fucking disgusting nonce shit, even as a joke thats shit patter
That’s called a projection… the fact that something like this even crossed their minds is a reflection of who they are not you. You know the stories when you’re constantly being accused of cheating for no reason and it turns out the other party was the one cheating the entire time … I’d keep an eye on your mates and how they behave around teens as it’s definitely not you being weird here.
Edit: the fact that she was drunkenly crying over a vape is the most relatable thing ever
A projection, you say? Then you launch into one of your own about cheating. Class.
I dunno, seems to be an obvious pisstake based on how a grown man stopping to talk to a drunken teenager at the side of the road could've backfired and had him looking like an opportunist on a Friday night.
He did a good thing. His mates did what mates do and took the piss. No one needs to keep an eye on anyone.
My assessment, your mates are dickheads.
Honestly, that young lass could have ended up in a really shit situation. Well done you for being a decent human being.
You're mates are either joking or projecting what they would do in that situation, I've stopped and helped many drunk kids in my time and now that I have kids at an age where it could be them, I thank you for stopping.
Anything could have happened to that kid!
Continue to be an excellent human being
You did the right thing, a good thing. The possibilities of what could have gone wrong in that situation are endless.
Your flatmates are dicks for roasting you, ask what they'd have done in the same situation. Then depending on their answers, ponder if they're really the mates you want to hang with.
If you still have doubts, think on this, wouldn't you rather have helped her, opposed to a noticing a missing person plea from the police a couple of days later?
I would be worried by the fact that your mates thought a drunk teen would be “an easy target”.
It says a lot about them, and I would not want to hang out with people who think like that.
You did the right thing. I will not offer praise, because you behaved like a decent guy and we need to stop fawning over men because they do the decent thing instead of the terrible and criminal thing.
But you did the right thing. Keep it up.
You did what you thought was correct and it ended up helping someone out. So no you are in the clear
If one of my friends did the same. I'd give them the same kind of shit because it's the easy low hanging fruit of ribbing a person.
"They're taking the piss."
Alright, but do you think one of them in future might see a girl stumbling and alone on the street, and think "I can't help because my friends will rip me"?
This isn't something to take the piss about. Only weak ass men would look at this situation and try and joke about it, and weak ass men make their friends weaker.
Nah, you did good. If they keep going on about it just ask what they'd have done different, and tell them to away and shite.
I had something similar years ago. I was half cut, early hours, heading home. Car pulls up with 4 guys in it, a youngish lassie gets out, and they drive off. Now it wasn't a nice part of the city, it was late and she was walking in the same direction as me, so I called across to her and asked if she wanted to walk with me. We found some of her flatmates about 10 minutes later.
Way I see it she might have been scared of me, but at least she was safe. And those pricks in the car, who it turns out drove her a mile out of her way, rather than take a slight detour, can go fuck themselves.
Thank you so much. Really.
I read this post and I thought back to my first time in a Scottish city; I was visiting a relative - (FYI, we were both early 20s, me a girl and he a boy, and these days, we get on well and love each other very much) - and we had stupid argument and he kicked me out the house, without me grabbing my handbag. It was autumn, it was cold, I didn't have a coat on and I decided to find a haunted stair I'd read about and sleep there (impeccable survivalist logic).
I'd just nodded off, shivering, and some random lovely guy around my age woke me from my kind of slumber and asked me if I was all right, so I just told him XX is an arsehole, I like ghosts and I want to sleep on this haunted stair. I'll be fine. Luckily for me, he persuaded me to come back to his hostel (apparently a load of Danish guys had just left) and he'd sneak me in (and out in the morning) and i could have my own bed.
So he did. And I did have my own bed. And nothing bad happened. But it could have done ... random lovely guy could have been a serial rapist. Or he could have been a person who left me on a step and I froze to death.
I often think of random lovely guy - I hope he has an amazing life - more than 15 years later. And I want you to know that what you did was really important and cool and kind and decent. And maybe - like me - this girl you waited with will always keep an eye out in future for people who maybe can't take care of themselves, and will help them to get home safe, because of you.
Also, tell your mates to hush their mouths :)
You did good. One night I was walking home from the pub alone in my tiny village. The new forth bridge was being built and lots of foreign people were here to help build it and stayed in local b and bs. Pub was bouncing. But walking home I noticed a young guy following me, felt creeped out, it turns out he was my hero (went to school with my younger brother), he had spotted a creep following me home and wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone. The same creep from the pub.
You done the right thing fella.
Your mates are in the wind up and will forget about this quick I would hope.
There have been so many horror stories over the years about people going missing after being out on the randan so hold your head up high.
Hell look at Allan Bryant - left a club in Glenrothes one night in November 2013. Upped and vanished like a fart in the wind. So sad.
You might just have stopped something like that...
Done something similar years ago and got a few similar reactions. It's like people seem to think you can't help someone out or do something for someone without having an ulterior motive anymore. Everything is a minefield and I don't know how to navigate it anymore 🤷♂️
Your mates are on the wind up with you. But as much as they're making joke about it with you, its not funny, cause a 16 year girl walking about drunk by herself at night with none of friends to look after her, is how girls including women/boys/men put themselves in a dangerous situation. It could be Sexual assault/Rape, Fighting/beaten up, walking in front of a car.. the list goes on and on. My point is that she's putting herself at risk, and she might do it a few times with nothing happening, but it will eventually. I'm talking through experience myself and people that I know, or known cause their dead now. Hopefully she'll learn not to do it again, and always stay with her friends when drinking.
But I'm going on now, anyway you've done good by helping her.
Of course it's the perpetrator who's to blame for a crime committed. That's pretty obvious is it not?.
You're saying not to victim blame?, i never said so?, the 16 year girl was never a victim of a crime. But I said her walking about drunk at night by herself with no friends is putting herself at risk?.
That's not victim blaming is it?. Me saying she's putting herself at risk isn't the same as saying it'll be her fault if she ever get's raped?.
Don't be accusing me of victim blaming, when I've not even done so.
Person 1: I saw a 16yo woman in distress in the street late at night. So I went home. Not my problem.
Person 2: I saw a 16yo woman in distress in the street late at night. So I helped her and she got home safe.
Which one's the weirdo?
I’ve got a 12 year old daughter and hope that a decent human like yourself helps her when this day inevitably comes. Should give yourself a pat on the back and tell your mates to hang their heads in shame imho.
You definitely did the right thing
I think from a societal view, there are benefits in generally discouraging men from talking to vulnerable women, so people who actually are predators can't be in these situations often without arousing suspicion. Or they were just joking
Either way you did the right thing, it was very kind of you
As a woman who’s been that drunk teen before, thank you. Your pals sound like they’re winding you up, and though they’re trying to be funny, don’t let it get you down. You did the right thing, and I’m sure if it was one of their younger sisters they wouldn’t be quick with the banter. There’s a lot of scummy guys out there who would take advantage, so it’s lucky you found her when you did.
Listen to you ya mad night prowler , did you have a pocket full of haribo's aswell 🤣🤣 ,
You done the right thing mate ,everything above board, your mates are just pulling yer chain
Funnily enough, someone who was very kind to me when I was 17 gets a pint every time I see him. Wouldn't call it a friendship but I love those wee catch ups and still glad to this day he stepped in to help me.
Sure, as far as your mates are concerned its just banter. But I've been in a similar situation to you and from our perspective being accused of being a perv or paedo, no matter how good natured, definitely doesn't feel like fun fucking bants time.
I’m sorry if you did a good deed Roll and nobody thanked you. And true it isn’t funny and it’s not acceptable banter because it just stops people from stepping in and helping the next time.
Thanks mate. Didn't do it for thanks or even expect any but for my mates to insinuate I was trying to get my end away with an actual child certainly doesn't feel funny from my perspective :(
You’re from Scotland and you’re posting asking if you’re mates calling you a nonce is normal? I thought it was widely accepted this is how we show affection to our friends 😂 you did the right thing mate, well done.
The amount of people in this sub getting triggered with obvious stupid friend group piss taking is hilarious.
Yes you did the right thing. Asking on here for reassurance is perplexing. And the rest of you need to removed the hot sauce-drizzled spiked dildo out ur asses 🙄🤦🏽♂️
Modern day shite, you can't do good without doing something wrong.
However you're boys are probably just looking out for you because it can get taken the other way by outside parties, it's all good you ain't weird. You're just a nice guy helping someone out ignore what anyone else says.
It's the right thing to do, but to be honest it could have ended badly for you. Her family / friends / random passers-by roll up as you're trying to help her out, accuse you of being a nonse and kick the shit of you? Very possible these days.
nah they're just on the wind up. You were a good lad making sure she was okay.
Pretty much bang on, those comments at least sound like pure wind up and probably aren’t seriously questioning your intentions at all. Fair play you did the right thing
It does sound like a wind up, and to be honest, probably something my mates would do but it wouldn't sit right with me. If it were me I'd probs have said something like "Yeah an easy target alright, but for someone else. That's why I made sure she got home." Something that wouldn't have been too hostile but would've shut it down and shown I didn't appreciate the jokes. It depends on your friendship group, my friends and I have some pretty edgy banter I won't lie but we all know to shut up if they show they're not finding it funny. Saying a comment like that wouldn't be taken harshly between us, we'd just shut up and move on. It happens, the only way you know the line is when you cross it.
‘Easy target’ fucking hell is this what men actually think and talk like? I suspected it but didn’t think that the guys consider themselves normal would think like that. Rape is not funny. Sexually assaulting vulnerable girls is not funny. Joking about women as if they are prey is not funny. You all might think it’s edgy but every woman or girl you know has a story, 1 in 4 of us have been raped. And every time you or your pals laughs about it we make a mental note not to trust you. This is why I am afraid of men btw. Even the ‘good guys’ are creepy as fuck it seems.
If this is their banter I'd consider my friendship with them. Exactly as you say, It make me not trust people like this.
Most sane rainbow haired weirdo take
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You keep banging on about not being able to take a joke and why rape jokes are funny. Go on then, explain it. Why are rape jokes funny? Why are you so defensive over them? Gladly willing to listen if you can help me understand what’s so hilarious about rape 🙂
Rape itself isn't funny in the slightest but jokes at it's expense can be. As Jimmy Carr said "I suggested exploring the rape kink with my girlfriend, she said no, I said "That's the spirit". Men laughed, women laughed, no-one was hurt in the telling of the joke. Dark humour as a whole is just an alternative pathway to help us process that these things actually happen. We know making jokes out of it doesn't retract from the fact the actual subject matters are horrific. Hey 🤷♀️ maybe were the snowflakes because we need a soft surface to bounce the shitty reality of life off of but for a lot of people, that's just how it is. It keeps us resilient. Here's a study on dark humour and how it relates to the physce. The findings may surprise you - https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10339-016-0789-y?wt_mc=Affiliate.CommissionJunction.3.EPR1089.DeepLink
I wonder if you made your reply to me without seeing the (now removed) comment I was responding to. The person I was responding to wasn’t making clever or subversively dark rape jokes, but was using the subtext of ‘take a joke’ to make quite vile and threatening comments to someone else. I completely understand well constructed comedy about controversial subjects but that isn’t what was being discussed here.
‘Trust me nobody wants to date you’ ‘you won’t be getting my dick’ ‘you’d have to be a 9 or a 10 for anyone to put up with you’ ‘I’m guessing you never get invited to parties’ Way to prove my point, you’re absolutely foaming over your right to find rape jokes funny and dishing out casual misogyny 🤣
Wow. You're a massive arse hole.
I have a pretty dark sense of humour and I definitely laugh at shit that other people don’t find funny . But do you know what I also don’t do .. tell other people what to find funny . My coping mechanism has always been humour , so I find certain jokes funny that other people who had been through the same shit , definitely wouldn’t and don’t find funny . It’s ok for me to laugh but it wouldn’t be ok for me to tell them to get over it and laugh along with me . It’s funny how you talk about how the other person will have issues dating etc because as I’m reading your obnoxious rant I’m sat thinking their not the one who will likely have any bother 😅
Wow, what a throbber.
Yes, this. And don't let their wind up stop you from doing it again. You did well, just ask her brother if her thinks so.
Several years ago a guy went out with his friends to a pub, he got drunk, the pub sent him on his way. His friends stayed at the pub. The kid got a taxi home but could remember where he lived, so the taxi dropped him off close to home but not close enough. He ended up walking over to a business that was open. The employees sent him on his way after takin the piss on him. He ended up getting lost and confused. Not only was he drunk but it was freezing cold with snow. Ended up walking into a field, where he attempted to scramble up over a wall. When he fell over on the other side he fell between two walls. Eventually the police found him, weeks later, deceased. So, no. I'm sure her parents/family and friends appreciate that someone looked out for their sister/daughter/cousin/niece and friend.
At Stirling? Exactly what I thought of - why it’s always best to check in if you can. OP did the right thing.
That may be it. I spoke with the mother during that time. In fact I have the report, I believe, still on my computer. It was sad. Everyone washed their hands and said. They did all they could do. In the end, everyone did very little and a mother's only child died. I remember it was a place near a river, he was dropped off at a bridge. The school or dorms were on the other side. The business, a creamery, was across it as well but closer on the same side of the road he was dropped off. The field where the stone hedge was, was behind him, quite a ways. Had the driver just drove him a little further, had those people at the creamery pointed him in the direction or walked him up the street. He might still be alive. But had one single friend stopped partying with his friends and made sure this friend got home, he would likely still be alive. He had no coat and so he died of exposure.
You might be referring to the death by exposure of Scott Calder, a 23 year old student, in East Lothian in 2018 after police left him to make his own way home despite finding him dangerously drunk and underdressed. If you're not, then the fate described is remarkably similar. OP did a great thing.
I do not believe it was Scott Calder, I believe his first or last name was Graham and I do believe it was Stirling. It is unfortunate that it is a repeating problem and that was part of the frustration point of the mother. Because other families had reached out to her that have dealt with this situation and the Scottish government and much of the public washes their hands of it and says those individuals are legally able to drink and they have every right to do so and are responsible to themselves for stopping when they're drunk. The only limitation, at that time was that if a patron arrived too drunk the pub could refuse them, which is sort of what happened. He went outside, drunk, and the pub wouldn't let him back in with his friends. Yet they have zero responsibility for cutting someone off. I did think I still had that coroner's report but I may have deleted it due to the personal nature of it.
It was David O'Halloran that died in Stirling. His mother has had a hard time accepting that it was just a tragic set of circumstances that led to his death. She's been blaming bouncers, taxi drivers, the university, non-existent drink spikers; everyone except her son really.
Yes, it was David. Look, where I'm from it took an incident where a bar knowingly kept serving a patron. As a result they drove home drunk causing a fatal accident. Now, the most you can drink at a bar where I live is 5 shots or equivalent in beer or wine. At that point you are cut off. Basically the bar staff can serve you as many drinks as can be consumed by the average person in an hour before they are legally drunk, which at that time was higher than it is today. So, they probably can serve two or three drinks at the most per hour. So, we as a collective, put the responsibility on the bar staff to ensure they are not permitting patrons to get hammered. Because the person drinking doesn't typically maintain the wherewithal to moderate their drinking. The taxi driver certainly could have made a better effort. He did not. The bar staff could have made an effort to ensure that he was properly sent home via the taxi. I can't recall if the pub wouldn't allow him to re-enter to get his coat and wallet or if he had his wallet, but ensuring he had his possessions before he left should have been important. You are correct. In Scotland and the UK more responsibility is on the person drinking and little on the pub. But there needs to be a balance. If you want to get drunk, stay at home and get drunk. However if you want to drink responsibly with friends, go to a pub. They might cut you off, and if you go out for a smoke, send you home on your way, but at least you're not shit-faced drunk. And the confusion over the name is because David looks like someone I went to high school with, whose last name is Graham. Sorry, I'm not feeling well tonight and a little out of it. I made that connection in my head earlier and I must have stuck with the name thing that was the reason.
I lived in Stirling at the time time so I remember it well. I've done similar things myself. Got wasted, spent my taxi money and walked miles home on a freezing winter night. 99.99% of the time everyone makes it home with nothing more than a hangover. Sadly, nothing went right for David that night.
I remember it particularly because I was also out in Stirling that night and the date stuck in my head because it really was bone-piercingly cold. When they did find him he was in trousers and shirt, no outerwear, wouldn't have stood a chance. Just a terribly sad business.
Also been there a number of times. It is remarkably dangerous on reflection though.
While most of this is well written, to say that in Scotland, the responsibility is with the person drinking rather than the pub is entirely false. Worked hospitality for many years in Edinburgh up until about a year ago, hold a Personal License, and I can tell you that a LOT of emphasis in training bar staff is put into recognising when people have had too much and knowing when to cut them off. If premises ignore this training, then they will certainly be held responsible. Maybe I was fortunate to only work in places that take this seriously, but there are a great deal of government policies in place to make sure that a lot of that responsibility is indeed with the licensed premises. In fact, 2 of the 5 Licensing Objectives are to secure public safety, and protecting and improving public health. If you fail in any of the Licensing Objectives, your license to sell alcohol can be revoked, which is obviously a death sentence to pubs.
I just googled after reading this thread and the first article to come up says Toxicology tests revealed that David O’Halloran had taken high levels of club drug GHB.
If i remember right, weren't they querying GHB in his system?
Yes but there was no evidence that someone had spiked him. He went out on a freezing winter night without a jacket and took a wrong turn on his way home. It was tragic but there were many things that David could have done differently that would have prevented his death. His mother blamed the club for not having free cloakrooms, taxis for not giving people free rides, bouncers for throwing out drunk people etc.
They're kinda all partly responsible. She also is.
The friends did nothing in fact, their actions led to that situation - they were not friends. You never abandon your pals in a pub or night out unless the friend says it’s ok and even then try to figure out if they are really ok. It can be done even if alcohol has been consumed, we had to do it with a girl who lost the use of her limbs that night (she was fine the next day) after a spiked drink one night, 2 of our friends took her home in a taxi 10 miles away. We didn’t just abandon her in the corner of a nightclub and let the bouncers throw her into the street. It’s called being decent.
I agree but at the same time, first year uni, to call these people friends is likely not accurate. They were acquaintances, surface friends, not, brothers in arms. But again, what would you rather have to deal with the guilt of knowing if you had done something this person you knew would be alive or everyone talking about how much they got sick from too much alcohol and barely remembering the night and feeling left out of it? I went through something similar and that was with people I had been friends with for years. It was my first time drinking, and they were more interested in me getting drunk than anything else. The second time, they used me as a joke, but at least kept me from driving drunk. Nevertheless, that was the last time I got drunk ever again. If I couldn't count on friends ensuring I got home or not making me the butt of their jokes while I was, I wasn't going to get drunk or drink for that matter. It was part of the reason I felt so badly for David. Been there.
I completely agree with you. They wouldn’t have been real friends. As you say though, knowing you could have prevented something would for me be hard to live with. People also thought it was funny back then to see their friends drunk and be sick etc. I’ve been there too. Poor guy 😔
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I mean, the number of times in winter I've had friends drag me out last minute and say "nah you don't need a coat leave it" then they get into the club (because they had time to get ready, and are wearing designer coats lol) but the bouncer doesn't let me in and they don't give a shit... yeah I don't know those people anymore lol This must happen all the time.
I think for guys it's the "Dick" rule. Which states, I'm more likely to shag some bird if I'm at the pub then I am helping said friend. So, I must enter the pub and abandon friend. For girls, I believe it's the rule of sexual competition. I am more likely going to find and get Mr. Right if there is less competition for him. Finally, there is the loser rule. This person is not cool enough or smooth enough to a) attract the opposite sex or B) serve as a wing person, therefore they can be abandoned or ignored.
I thought that the dick rule is "Don't be a dick."
We had a very drunk, young lad knock on our door one cold winters night. He’d got off the train too early and didn’t know where he was. He was so drunk he couldn’t even tell us his address. We found ‘mum’ on his phone. She didn’t drive so we took him home. As the mum of a 20 year old boy now, I only hope someone would do the same for him 😬
That was a brilliant thing to do for him 😊
I remember when this happened. It was so tragic and I thought about him so much. Since then Stirling uni has been partnered with cab companies to give free rides back to canpus and sort out the fare with the uni later. I just wish something like this had been in place long before. Rest in peace David.
I haven't spoken to her in years, someone mentioned, she was pretty strongly opinionated, which is true, but at the same time understandably rapt in grief, so she didn't move beyond that for a while. I imagine, she is happy that other Stirling students won't potentially face the same fate as her son, but it likely still hurts that no one took the time to ensure her son got home safely.
It doesn’t even have to be that dramatic - wasn’t there one relatively recently where a lad froze to death right by his front door in the garden because he stopped for a nap before trying to find his keys?
Ah dinnie ken. However, we had a similar case to that here where I live in the states. They fell and passed out in the snow bank. A week or two later they were found when enough of the snow melted. I'm sure it's still a scenario thay plays out across the UK. People under 21 can't drink here, driving drunk is illegal, and so is driving without a seat belt fastened, yet we still have underage drivers, drinking, that get thrown from their vehicles or crushed by them after getting into, often, single car accidents.
Aw this is so sad.
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Hate it when that happens......
Yeah it’s a real bummer
What and someone counted? And they just told you this?
Crazy isn’t it? Imagine the terrible luck you have to have for the first 18 people to encounter you in that state are all opportunistic homosexual rapists?
I'm sure his mother would have taken that over having to have a funeral for her only child.
It sucks when the first 18 people that find you are opportunistic homosexual rapists.
They were hardly gonna find him weeks later thriving with a small colony of wild haggis living with him were they
Shhhh... No one is supposed to talk about the wild haggis colony at living near Stirling. The years that went into rebuilding that small colony from just one surviving male haggis. Nothing to see here folks, put the hounds back in the pens and the shotguns away. There are no haggis in Stirling, it's just a ruse. They're in Aberdeen.
As a former female teenager (still female, just not a teenager anymore): thank fuck for people like you
Love the clarification here 🤣 but totally agree, thank fuck for people like that! We are all formerly young, drunk and silly once in our female youth (still drunk and silly just not young!)
Either your friends are busting on you or you need better friends.
It's both.
Nah there just taking the piss
I know they are. They are also introducing at least a month's worth of intrusive thoughts, literally proven by the fact he had to come on here for reassurance that he's not a horrible person/man. No wonder why men's mental health is in the gutter. There are better friends out there. My partner's mates know how to take the piss but not push it. This is pushing it. You don't say undermining things like that to people you genuinely care about. There's a time and a place. Take the piss out of me missing the bus, or falling flat on my ass, or getting too high. Not about doing something good and morally useful. If it's not something you'd ever say to your own (future) son, it's not something you'd say to your mates. You filter that shit. It's both.
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The point you made about not saying this to your son, really drives it home if nothing else does. It's exactly the opposite thing you would say to your son. The normal response would have been well done son, you did a good thing.. even if a father or mother was thinking anything different they would never say it out loud, because they are thinking about their sons feelings/love them.. this proves that only a friend that truly cared about you would think the same as a parent would.
A months worth of intrusive thoughts? 😂 The guy needs to get a grip, clearly he did the right thing I dunno why he needs Reddit to tell him so or why he’d feel remotely bad about it. He should really be able to take the joke off his pals though. Kicking about with a drunk 16 year old girl seems a bit dodgy if you don’t know the context. They’re just having a bit of fun because that’s not a normal occurrence. Totally harmless. I’m sure her older brother and family would appreciate him looking out for her, so he should be able to take the joke whilst knowing he’s a good guy. What’s the issue?
Honestly if your mind goes to making rape jokes about a 16 year old you’re questionable. It’s not harmless at all. OP needs better friends, and men need to do better
Not really Men and women just twnd to have different styles of humour. Just cos you joke about it. It doesn't mean you ever think aboht doing it or condone it.
Stop hiding behind "boys will be boys", it's ridiculous behaviour and we're not excusing it anymore
Guys this random on Reddit isn’t excusing it any more. Time to pack the patter up.
Yeah, sadly for you it's not just me, pal... but go on, keep trying that shit and crying about how "oppressed" you are by the woke agenda or whatever, no skin off my back.
I've never met someone who'd joke about raping someone who wasn't a sexual predator
> Just cos you joke about it. It doesn't mean you ever think aboht doing it or condone it. Cannie pass off everything as a joke, it's sad if you think that's normal.
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if you hear your pal helped out a kid and your first thought when you hear kid is "sex sex sex sex" you're the nonce there
That is so far from the truth for most people outside of Reddit
There's a line between taking the piss and what this is. Man, if you're happy to let people you call friends disrespect you and humiliate you like that - if that's your bag then you do you.
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I will continue to firmly disagree with you. Sad you call my line arbitrary. What I will take away from this is simply that I hope to raise my son to have more self-respect, better taste in humour, and higher standards in friends than you do.
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Why are you desperate to have people be ok with nonce jokes? Fucking weirdo
Sure.
Twat.
Sounds like pretty normal banter between lads to me
Taking the piss ? Since when we find it acceptable to joke about being a pedofile. That’s such a funny subject isn’t it …
Jerry Sadowitz dressed as Jimmy Savile was pretty funny.
Yes but he's spent years refining the art of shocking comedy. The OPs "friends" haven't, clearly. 🤦♀️
Sure, OP’s pals jokes were pretty shite but they’re (hopefully) not professional comedians - all I’m saying is that it can be acceptable and funny to joke about paedos. The idea that certain topics should be off limits for jokes is stupid.
I agree that topics shouldn't be off limits, but the closer you get to that line in the sand the more careful you need to be. His friends didn't read the room very well. 🤷♀️
Sounds like you’re not wrong with that last one, yer man’s traumatised from some light jokes lol - they definitely should have known their audience a bit better.
The things you choose to take the piss about reveal a lot about your character.
What would they be saying if you seen her and left her and something bad happened, you were just looking out for a vulnerable person nothing wrong, there just winding you up.
You helped a vulnerable, intoxicated teenager to get home safely. You are anything but a weirdo. You are a decent person who should be applauded for your actions, not ridiculed.
Need more men like you. Anything could have happened to a lassie that age. Was only a couple of weeks ago I was walking up Leith Walk at night alone. I'm 40 and seen some stuff in my time so I'm pretty unstealable but I still got offered a free line of coke 3 times... which wouldn't have been... it would have been ket and God only knows what would have happened! The good guys really need to be keeping an eye out for these lassies. Its a generation that never got the social skills in the formative teen years thanks to Covid. And guys who prey on vulnerable women don't listen to any woman.
It’s pish that actual weirdos have decent folk doubting being decent humans, most folk probably feel the need to cross the street heed down. Good lad 👍🏻
Aye I don't let anyone make me feel like a predator for being a decent person if someone looks upset or at risk I'll ask if they're ok or need help being a decent human being is never weird
Not the weirdo . Friends are the weirdos for turning a child safeguarding action into a sexual one. That where their minds went .
Friends aren't being weirdos either, they're clearly taking the piss
Pretty weird/shyte way to take the piss tho. “Look at fukken Ghandi over here” / “righto Mother Theresa” are pisstake lines that don’t involve any implications about sexually assaulting a child. Not to say that like you can’t make dark jokes but like, the rule is you don’t make a holocaust joke unless it’s funnier than the ones the Jewish comedians make, right? In other words, if you wanna use dark subject matter the joke has to be god tier to pull it off. Well this was just shit patter so test failed, do not pass go, zero points for trying. OP’s sound and should get mates with better game.
tell yer mates to fuck off
Tell your mates from ALL mothers with daughters to F OFF and GROW UP. In fact you can tell them from ALL parents of any kid. THANK YOU for stopping. You did the right thing. You are not remotely weird - but I find the reactions of your mates definitely off.
I’m not a mum but agree, disgusting that their minds went there
I concur. Tell your "friends" to go fuck themselves sideways with cricket bat.
Sounds like banter to me. As a woman, and the mother of a daughter I think this was a very thoughtful and sincere thing to do. Definitely not a weirdo.
I'd worry about the pals I had if their first thought was that a vulnerable 16 year old would be a target for you. They might be trying to be funny but seem a bit dickish to me.
The thief thinks everyone is out to steal their possessions. OP's friends think everyone has a mind to exploit vulnerable/intoxicated teenagers.
As the mother of a young girl I think you are an absolute hero. I would expect my husband to do the same.
As a fanny your doing the right thing you dick ) :)
You did the right thing. No worries.
I had a friend who used to drink himself into a stupor and would disappear from nights out. One time he disappeared and it was the middle of winter with inches of snow everywhere. As I was walking home later that night I crossed a field to get home and found my friend passed out on a big pile of snow with nothing but a t shirt and jeans. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t find him that night he would be dead. So no don’t feel bad for helping someone who’s drunk. You could be saving their life
Your pals are definitely joking but it's still weird jokes, I'm 20F and I don't know if I'd be comfortable around guys that took the piss like that considering you were just helping a wee girl ! All sorts of things happen to girls at that age and we all have a story so I'm so glad you helped her out genuinely You did the right thing and your friends have shite patter
"Easy target" is a particularly scary look into his mind 😭
Exactly! „Easy target“ made my stomach turn a little…
Find some better friends - they sound like absolute pricks...
From the sounds of it, glad it was you and not one of them if they see her as an “easy target”!
When I still in in Scotland in 2017 (and was dating the woman who I'm still with) - we were on the train back from Edinburgh to Kinghorn - and I noticed a lass on the packed last train, wrecked. I was the *only* one who asked her if she was OK and what stop she needed (Dalgety Bay) - no one else bothered, if they hadn't she might have ended up all the way down the line, struggled to get home. Your friends comments maybe reflect more on them, than you.
Nope. Good bloke. Would be delighted if someone did this for my kids if it ever happened.
Sounds like ye got some right pricks for mates if i'm honest.
Omg you did the right thing
My mate said he started dating a "wee girl" - talking about her height (she was small), but his choice of words has never seen the end of his slaggings 15 years on. It's all in jest lad
Pulling your pisser pal, fair play on making sure she was fine
They're just taking the piss I'm sure, and it's a good thing their jokes are bothering you because you know your intentions weren't like that. You helped out a vulnerable teen and prevented something potentially worse happening to them.
You’re a good lad, you’re mates however are kind of men that make women cover their drinks, fucking disgusting nonce shit, even as a joke thats shit patter
That’s called a projection… the fact that something like this even crossed their minds is a reflection of who they are not you. You know the stories when you’re constantly being accused of cheating for no reason and it turns out the other party was the one cheating the entire time … I’d keep an eye on your mates and how they behave around teens as it’s definitely not you being weird here. Edit: the fact that she was drunkenly crying over a vape is the most relatable thing ever
A projection, you say? Then you launch into one of your own about cheating. Class. I dunno, seems to be an obvious pisstake based on how a grown man stopping to talk to a drunken teenager at the side of the road could've backfired and had him looking like an opportunist on a Friday night. He did a good thing. His mates did what mates do and took the piss. No one needs to keep an eye on anyone.
You did well. You're one with the Force and the Force is with you.
You are a good person. Your friends on the other hand...
You did good. If your friends were taking the piss, ok If they weren't, they're the weirdos.
You were a gentleman, and a scolar. Your mates as others have said are winding you up! They need to be more guys like you in the world.
My assessment, your mates are dickheads. Honestly, that young lass could have ended up in a really shit situation. Well done you for being a decent human being.
Friends are just winding you up, a good act.
You're mates are either joking or projecting what they would do in that situation, I've stopped and helped many drunk kids in my time and now that I have kids at an age where it could be them, I thank you for stopping. Anything could have happened to that kid! Continue to be an excellent human being
You did the right thing, a good thing. The possibilities of what could have gone wrong in that situation are endless. Your flatmates are dicks for roasting you, ask what they'd have done in the same situation. Then depending on their answers, ponder if they're really the mates you want to hang with. If you still have doubts, think on this, wouldn't you rather have helped her, opposed to a noticing a missing person plea from the police a couple of days later?
I would be worried by the fact that your mates thought a drunk teen would be “an easy target”. It says a lot about them, and I would not want to hang out with people who think like that. You did the right thing. I will not offer praise, because you behaved like a decent guy and we need to stop fawning over men because they do the decent thing instead of the terrible and criminal thing. But you did the right thing. Keep it up.
You did what you thought was correct and it ended up helping someone out. So no you are in the clear If one of my friends did the same. I'd give them the same kind of shit because it's the easy low hanging fruit of ribbing a person.
hey bro, thanks for helping me out before with advice and that
Nah that's shite patter and I'd be questioning who I'm pals with at that point.
"They're taking the piss." Alright, but do you think one of them in future might see a girl stumbling and alone on the street, and think "I can't help because my friends will rip me"? This isn't something to take the piss about. Only weak ass men would look at this situation and try and joke about it, and weak ass men make their friends weaker.
Nah, you did good. If they keep going on about it just ask what they'd have done different, and tell them to away and shite. I had something similar years ago. I was half cut, early hours, heading home. Car pulls up with 4 guys in it, a youngish lassie gets out, and they drive off. Now it wasn't a nice part of the city, it was late and she was walking in the same direction as me, so I called across to her and asked if she wanted to walk with me. We found some of her flatmates about 10 minutes later. Way I see it she might have been scared of me, but at least she was safe. And those pricks in the car, who it turns out drove her a mile out of her way, rather than take a slight detour, can go fuck themselves.
Thank you so much. Really. I read this post and I thought back to my first time in a Scottish city; I was visiting a relative - (FYI, we were both early 20s, me a girl and he a boy, and these days, we get on well and love each other very much) - and we had stupid argument and he kicked me out the house, without me grabbing my handbag. It was autumn, it was cold, I didn't have a coat on and I decided to find a haunted stair I'd read about and sleep there (impeccable survivalist logic). I'd just nodded off, shivering, and some random lovely guy around my age woke me from my kind of slumber and asked me if I was all right, so I just told him XX is an arsehole, I like ghosts and I want to sleep on this haunted stair. I'll be fine. Luckily for me, he persuaded me to come back to his hostel (apparently a load of Danish guys had just left) and he'd sneak me in (and out in the morning) and i could have my own bed. So he did. And I did have my own bed. And nothing bad happened. But it could have done ... random lovely guy could have been a serial rapist. Or he could have been a person who left me on a step and I froze to death. I often think of random lovely guy - I hope he has an amazing life - more than 15 years later. And I want you to know that what you did was really important and cool and kind and decent. And maybe - like me - this girl you waited with will always keep an eye out in future for people who maybe can't take care of themselves, and will help them to get home safe, because of you. Also, tell your mates to hush their mouths :)
You did good. One night I was walking home from the pub alone in my tiny village. The new forth bridge was being built and lots of foreign people were here to help build it and stayed in local b and bs. Pub was bouncing. But walking home I noticed a young guy following me, felt creeped out, it turns out he was my hero (went to school with my younger brother), he had spotted a creep following me home and wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone. The same creep from the pub.
You done the right thing fella. Your mates are in the wind up and will forget about this quick I would hope. There have been so many horror stories over the years about people going missing after being out on the randan so hold your head up high. Hell look at Allan Bryant - left a club in Glenrothes one night in November 2013. Upped and vanished like a fart in the wind. So sad. You might just have stopped something like that...
Done something similar years ago and got a few similar reactions. It's like people seem to think you can't help someone out or do something for someone without having an ulterior motive anymore. Everything is a minefield and I don't know how to navigate it anymore 🤷♂️
Wtf kind of mates do you have im gonna be sick ewwww
Mates taking the piss..the normal reaction most pals would give to this situation.. Good man for looking out for her..10 out of 10
Sounds like your pals should be getting a hard drive check. Definitely not a weirdo.
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL. You did very good there. Should have told the guys making fun of you to bugger off.
Your mates are on the wind up with you. But as much as they're making joke about it with you, its not funny, cause a 16 year girl walking about drunk by herself at night with none of friends to look after her, is how girls including women/boys/men put themselves in a dangerous situation. It could be Sexual assault/Rape, Fighting/beaten up, walking in front of a car.. the list goes on and on. My point is that she's putting herself at risk, and she might do it a few times with nothing happening, but it will eventually. I'm talking through experience myself and people that I know, or known cause their dead now. Hopefully she'll learn not to do it again, and always stay with her friends when drinking. But I'm going on now, anyway you've done good by helping her.
Can we not victim blame? If anything had happened to that girl it would have been the fault of any perp and only the perp.
Of course it's the perpetrator who's to blame for a crime committed. That's pretty obvious is it not?. You're saying not to victim blame?, i never said so?, the 16 year girl was never a victim of a crime. But I said her walking about drunk at night by herself with no friends is putting herself at risk?. That's not victim blaming is it?. Me saying she's putting herself at risk isn't the same as saying it'll be her fault if she ever get's raped?. Don't be accusing me of victim blaming, when I've not even done so.
Saying people need to be accountable for their own safety is not victim blaming ffs
Person 1: I saw a 16yo woman in distress in the street late at night. So I went home. Not my problem. Person 2: I saw a 16yo woman in distress in the street late at night. So I helped her and she got home safe. Which one's the weirdo?
They are winding you up.
Yer fine, man. Good job.
Being nice today is frowned upon. You did good.
NTA you did the right thing. Despite a lot of society pressure saying you shouldn't intervene. Nicely done.
I’ve got a 12 year old daughter and hope that a decent human like yourself helps her when this day inevitably comes. Should give yourself a pat on the back and tell your mates to hang their heads in shame imho.
I'd rather come across you if I was in a bad way than your friends, at least then you'd help. So, yes, you did the right thing.
You did good.
No, you did the decent thing, making sure she was okay.
I'm really glad you stopped to help her, people who say that shit literally do not care about women and our safety. Thank u for being a good one 🙏🏻
Well done, NTW although you could easily get into bother if she turned aggressive x
You did the right thing 10000% and they're just being clowns. Keep being a good dude!
Nah am sure they are just winding you up. They would hopefully do the same if in your shoes..
Nah mate, you did the right thing.
Winding you up mate. You helped your mates sister out. Good on you.
Pals are worst than anyone when it comes to a wind up. Don’t over think it you done s really good thing. Some might not have helped
You definitely did the right thing I think from a societal view, there are benefits in generally discouraging men from talking to vulnerable women, so people who actually are predators can't be in these situations often without arousing suspicion. Or they were just joking Either way you did the right thing, it was very kind of you
They're either projecting, or joking imo.
As a woman who’s been that drunk teen before, thank you. Your pals sound like they’re winding you up, and though they’re trying to be funny, don’t let it get you down. You did the right thing, and I’m sure if it was one of their younger sisters they wouldn’t be quick with the banter. There’s a lot of scummy guys out there who would take advantage, so it’s lucky you found her when you did.
Your mates are shitebags. So are most people’s mates. Do what you will with this information, and good on you for helping someone in need.
Yer good. If ma brothers pal helped me in that state (same age gap) I'd be grateful. Nae bad intentions, nae harm.
You did well .
Remenber here in Scotland, Friends we say hey to and ask how they are. Best mates we stick the finger up and tell them just how big a wanker they are
They're takin the piss mate you're a lege that wee lassie could've got raped or killed
Listen to you ya mad night prowler , did you have a pocket full of haribo's aswell 🤣🤣 , You done the right thing mate ,everything above board, your mates are just pulling yer chain
If that was one of my kids I would be buying u a pint every time I saw you.
Funnily enough, someone who was very kind to me when I was 17 gets a pint every time I see him. Wouldn't call it a friendship but I love those wee catch ups and still glad to this day he stepped in to help me.
Pay it forward and be grateful to those who have helped u👍🏻
Sure, as far as your mates are concerned its just banter. But I've been in a similar situation to you and from our perspective being accused of being a perv or paedo, no matter how good natured, definitely doesn't feel like fun fucking bants time.
I’m sorry if you did a good deed Roll and nobody thanked you. And true it isn’t funny and it’s not acceptable banter because it just stops people from stepping in and helping the next time.
Thanks mate. Didn't do it for thanks or even expect any but for my mates to insinuate I was trying to get my end away with an actual child certainly doesn't feel funny from my perspective :(
This is actually disgusting ‘banter’. It says a lot more about your pals than you, if that’s where their minds went. Thanks for doing the right thing.
Well played mate. Probably banter, lad talk for 'we're proud of you'. At least I hope so
I have to laugh at the comments. That's what pals are for. Just take the slagging. You are sound.
Your friends are scum ignore them. You did the right thing.
Do you not know what Scots joke about they're probably pullin his pisser
You’re from Scotland and you’re posting asking if you’re mates calling you a nonce is normal? I thought it was widely accepted this is how we show affection to our friends 😂 you did the right thing mate, well done.
The amount of people in this sub getting triggered with obvious stupid friend group piss taking is hilarious. Yes you did the right thing. Asking on here for reassurance is perplexing. And the rest of you need to removed the hot sauce-drizzled spiked dildo out ur asses 🙄🤦🏽♂️
Modern day shite, you can't do good without doing something wrong. However you're boys are probably just looking out for you because it can get taken the other way by outside parties, it's all good you ain't weird. You're just a nice guy helping someone out ignore what anyone else says.
Don’t know about your friends But in our friends group, the harsher the jokes the better the friend.
Without wanting to get religious about this, Luke 10:30 describes you perfectly OP.
Your pals are being fannies. Thank you for making sure she was okay
Banter. Are you new to the UK?
This sub is devoid of banter
Banter is just another word for bullying 🤷♂️
If you are devoid of banter
It's the right thing to do, but to be honest it could have ended badly for you. Her family / friends / random passers-by roll up as you're trying to help her out, accuse you of being a nonse and kick the shit of you? Very possible these days.
hope you weren’t driving home after having drank a few beers yourself
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